Social Distancing by Alan Shellard Page 35- 38 The Sieges of Bristol by Ian Faulkner

SOCIAL DISTANCING

By Alan Shellard.

Many new words and many new phrases have now become part of our everyday chatter. Corona and Covid and self isolation pandemic and lock-down form part of our chatter.

But one little phrase has gained wide circulation A phrase which brings unalloyed joy to my ears, And that is the phrase being "socially distanced" which is something, quite frankly, I've practiced for years.

Far be it for me to cast any aspersions Gossip is something I simply deplore But really one has to keep up certain standards which some of my neighbours choose to ignore.

Just down my road at Number Eleven (which guests to my home don't notice, I hope!) I can't take my eyes off their ghastly net curtains which have, for so long, been a stranger to soap.

Grand cars in the driveway of House Twenty Two Impressed me a lot till the day I set forth on a trip down to Waitrose when I heard those folk speaking and learned( to my horror) they came from up North!

And the shock I received when I first met my new neighbours to whom I'd popped round to deliver a parcel, And found them sunning themselves in the garden revealing more Tattoos that Edinburgh Castle.

And so you see to be "Socially Distanced" one has to take such a great deal of trouble, Narrowing down the number of people to those whom one wishes to include in one's bubble.

Like, for example, the Hamilton Brown's as nice a couple as one's ever met and have mentioned so often I must come to dinner but, so far, a date has still to be set.

Then, of course, there is dear Lady Carlton whose always so pleased to see me you know and insists I call in whenever I'm passing But am told she is out every time I do so.

With dear friends like these, it wouldn't be right to hob nob with any old Tom, Dick or Harry And I think, quite frankly, being "Socially Distanced" is on the whole such a small price to carry.