BETWEEN FOUR JUNCTIONS

JOSHUA WALMSLEY

Say-Do Gap

SOME PEOPLE WON’T FLOG A DEAD HORSE. I will cover my fists in horse carcass if that’s what it takes. The say do gap is the dilemma of reported concerns or intentions not being followed up in action, and this essay is based on a prompt from a Creative Writing exam in 2022.

A few months ago, I got a detention for writing a response to a survey distributed by the careers office at my school. The final question read “What do you see yourself doing at 25?” Being a bored, autistic teen with no self-control, respect, or maturity, I replied, thinking that whoever read it might get a kick out of my joke. I responded with “Selling crack out of your mum’s garage” – a deliberately ridiculous response that any sane person would have the dignity to ignore.

So how the hell does this relate to the Say-Do gap? Well, they say that what I did was wrong – and in some ways it was – but in this scenario, I want to write about what Bristol Grammar School don’t say about what they’ve done.

They don’t say that their motto “Ex spinis uvas”, is a light-hearted play on words about the slave traders and the plantations they extracted profit from in order to fund this school’s founding in 1532, to educate the sons of privileged slave traders and merchants.

They don’t say that they continue to honour these men with their motto, instead of having conversations about how and why we should dismantle white supremacy, which we benefit from, especially when we see the divergence between a prestigious academic institution and such an awful legacy.

They don’t say that their double standards are enforced by those with power, in order to control the rebelliousness of those without power.

They don’t say that the authoritarianism involved in the education provided under the guise of ‘professionalism’ and ‘good manners’, perpetuates the standards and benefits of the systems of racism, classism, and ableism.

They don’t say that this ableism can manifest itself in oppressive ways, such as expecting neurodivergent children to talk, behave and act the way that others do, including using language that has contextual meaning, societal standards and conventions attached that are not inherent within the words themselves.

They don’t say that neurodivergent youths are expected to justify or defend their behaviour, when it may be simply an expression of nonconformity and personal experience that isn’t understood by those around them.

What they do, despite the school’s racist motto, is show less understanding of light-hearted jokes about sensitive matters than I thought, as well as an expectation for me to abide by standards it cannot itself uphold.

What they do is uphold convention in the form of hierarchy and refuse to rework the ingrained double standards that give those in control the power to completely disregard any possible notion that does not comply with the laws they enforce.

This is about so much more than a detention. This is about an incredibly privileged community. I don’t think that any one person is responsible for its hypocrisy but the community itself.