Actual Personal Ads from Israeli Newspaper

Divorced Jewish man seeks partner to attend shul with, light Shabbos candles, celebrate holidays, build sukkah together, attend brisses, barmitzvahs. Religion not important.

Sincere rabbinic student, 27. Enjoys Yom Kippur, Tisha B’av. Taanis Esther, Tzom Gedaliah, Asarah B’Teves, Shiva Asar B’Tammuz. Seeks companion for living life in the ‘fast’ lane.

Yeshiva bochur, Torah scholar, long beard, payos. Seeks same in woman. Nice Jewish guy, 38, No skeletons. No baggage. No personality.

Orthodox woman with get, seeks man who got get, or can get get. Get it? I’ll show you mine, if you show me yours.

Female graduate student, studying kaballah, Zohar, exorcism of dybbuks, seeks mensch. No weirdos please.

Jewish businessman, 49, manufactures Sabbath candles, Chanukah candles, Havdallah candles, Yahrzeit candles. Seeks non-smoker 80-year-old bubby, no assets, seeks handsome virile Jewish male, under 35. Object matrimony. I can dream can’t I?

Jewish male, 34, very successful, smart, independent, self-made. Looking for girl whose father will hire me.

Desperately seeking schmoozing!. Retired senior citizen desires female companion 70+ for kvetching, kvelling, and krechtzing. Under 30 also OK. Single Jewish woman, 29, into disco, mountain-climbing, skiing, track and field. Has slight limp.

Attractive Jewish woman, 35, college graduate, seeks successful Jewish Prince to get me out of my parent’s house.