Understand your mind -update

1

Understand your mind A scriptural view of Cognition (‘Cognition’ – ‘A thought’)

(Proverbs 2:10, 11) When wisdom enters into your heart and knowledge itself becomes pleasant to your very soul, keep guard over you, discernment itself will safeguard you

11

thinking ability itself will

Thoughts are little pieces of information, like bricks in the wall of a house. Build your house with High quality kiln baked bricks and it will last a very long time. Build your personality with positive, encouraging thoughts and ideas and it won’t just last a long time. It will last forever – John 17:3 The Bible has a verse to match literally every human emotional problem. This essay will make you familiar with a host of them. Here are two to begin our discussion.

‘Consequently I entreat YOU by the compassions of God, brothers, to present YOUR bodies a sacrifice living, holy, acceptable to God, a sacred service with YOUR power of reason. 2 And quit being fashioned after this system of things, but be transformed by making YOUR mind over, that YOU may prove to yourselves the good and acceptable and perfect will of God’. – Romans 12:1 Eph. 6:1 ‘mental-regulating of Jehovah.’

If you regulate, it means you repeat something 'regularly'. In other words, it means that you do something regularly in order to maintain a certain stability and order in an object, task, or habit. It means to bring into conformity with rules or principles or usage Depression is a Major problem that affects people of all walks of life. It’s defined as sadness; gloom; dejection Don’t feel alone just because you get depressed. King David was an extremely positive person. He fought Goliath. But he suffered from depression sometimes because of certain circumstances, so don’t think you are weak just because you get depressed. “I have become disconcerted; I have bowed low to an extreme degree.

All day long I have walked about sad.” – Psalms 38:6 In Psychiatry. ‘a condition of general emotional dejection and withdrawal; sadness greater and more prolonged than that warranted by any objective reason.’ so severe as to be considered abnormal, either because of no obvious environmental causes, or the reaction to unfortunate life circumstances.

Probably, most depression is reactionary, that is, it’s caused by something that is happening to you or has happened to you in the past. This type of depression can be controlled by learning the art of MENTAL REGULATION. To summarize: Depression can come from a bad or unhappy event in your life: This can be addressed by learning Mental Self control. (Regulation) Depression can come without an apparent cause. Sometimes called clinical depression (This may require medical assistance. It could be triggered by thyroid problems or by other hormonal or health problems. A visit to a doctor who uses NATURAL hormone support would be a good suggestion in this case, particularly for the girls) There are hormone specialists who work with compounding chemists.

Before you take any medication, do your own research to find out about possible after effects. Compare notes with others who have similar problems. You can find forums where people talk about symptoms and what they have done to effect cures or relief Take your health needs into your own hands. Don’t just go along

2

with medical advice without getting other opinions. Of course talk to your local elders and ask for direction on this specific problem from the Watchtower publications. Don’t generalise. Be specific.

Don’t self medicate with the use of alcohol or other mind bending drugs. If certain medications become necessary, be sure to use them as a last resort. Try sorting out your mind yourself by assimilating all the wonderful suggestions in the Watchtowers and Awakes and the other excellent publications mentioned in this essay.

Most of us get depressed from time to time. However, if you are the type of person who gets deeply depressed on a regular basis, and it affects both the quality of your life and those in your family, a study of the information below may be of great help to you.

At the outset it must be stated that there are a variety of influences that affect a person’s mentality. Most of them probably established when we are very young as a result of all sorts of influences including molestation, parental alcoholism, violence and numerous other situations foisted on to the innocent child. Although many do not realize it, these things create such problems as bi polar, various forms of depression and other psychiatric classifications.

If you learn the arts mentioned below, these problems can be handled and shelved using your own amazing thinking ability so try this first. However if there is a question of some chemical or Serotonin problem, or of suicidal tendencies that are not subsiding, it's best to consult a mental health professional, preferably one who has a knowledge of the truth.

However most cases of depression can be handled in a less complicated manner either by the person himself or herself, or with the aid of another understanding person who is familiar with the material below and the scriptures that give the best advice.

It is imperative that you not only read this material through, but that you make your own notes and if necessary condense it and take it with you everywhere for constant reviews and reminders. (The ‘Survival pack’ at the end of this presentation has done this for you. You can stick it on the fridge or carry it with you, or make your own condensed notes) One big mistake people with depression make, is to forget the good advice they are given. (Remember ‘mental regulation’ means you repeat something 'regularly') such as learning a musical instrument such as the piano or the guitar. One rather crude, but apparently effective way of jolting a person out of a depressed state, is to wear an elastic band around the wrist, and give yourself a flick with it if you find yourself getting depressed. This apparently serves to jolt your mind away from emotional negativity to a more mechanical, realistic and analytical state.

And let’s face it, anyone with a roof over his head, a reasonable standard of health, some clothes and three good meals a day, is deluding himself or herself, by being depressed. By focusing too much on creature comforts, it's impossible to see the big picture. Why is it that depression seems to be a disease that affects the western world as much if not more than poverty stricken countries?

Millions of people throughout the world have none of the things that most of us take for granted, and still seem to exist. (Such as the poor people in India who live on a city built on a rubbish dump and make their living grovelling in rubbish) So depression is usually an allusion, but of course, to the undisciplined mind, affected by past pains, it becomes very real and must be interrupted and controlled. With this in mind, please read on.

Before you continue, please try this:

3

Sit down and write out, word for word, all the nice things about your life. All the things we have in the western world, that people in some countries can’t even dream about. Resist the temptation of writing anything down that is negative or discouraging. Write down ONLY the nice things. Carry this piece of paper with you and refer to it and remind yourself about it until you change your mindset from thinking about bad things, to good. This will put you in the right frame of mind to focus on what you are reading.

Most people have not heard much of the word ‘Cognitive’ because we don’t use it much. But we do use the word ‘Recognise’, and anyone who has anything to do with motor cars, particularly gear boxes, knows that nothing will run without ‘cogs’ which is the focal word in ‘recognise’ To recognise something is to get your brain into gear and recall or focus on something important. Another type of ‘cog’ illustrates this point well: The cogs in a gearbox get damaged and broken by mistreatment and lack of a service or a regular oil change.

Check the importance of Omega 3 oil in your diet. Do your own extensive research on this subject but keep in mind that KRILL oil seems to be a superior form of omega three because of the lesser risk of mercury poisoning. It's also worth checking EMU oil which is claimed to be more effective. But this article is not recommending some therapy. That is up to you to investigate.

The cogs in your brain are thoughts. Because of the bad treatment our thinking apparatus gets, resulting from the pressures of life, things people do against us. Worries about what we should have done that we did not. Feelings that we are not good enough. Loneliness. Worries about money. Feelings of guilt. The cogs of our brain become frayed, worn and broken. Our lives cease to run smoothly and like a broken down engine, or a faulty gearbox, we eventually seize up mentally.

A Cognitive therapist is just someone who has a bit more knowledge about how your mental gearbox works, sits you down and talks some sense into you. Such a therapist may need to remind you about the types of thoughts you are allowing to swill through your brain that act as an abrasion in your mind that wears out your nerves and causes your thinking process to break down.

Of course prayers are very important, but keep in mind that Bible knowledge has to be used in partnership with prayer to be effective, or you could be asking for things that don’t fit in with God’s purpose for you.

There’s no point asking Jehovah to finance your new car. Ask Him to give you the wisdom to handle your finances properly.

Again, read the Watchtower publications on ANY SPECIFIC subject along with prayer to Jehovah. Too often these excellent FREE articles gather dust in people’s libraries while expensive medics are consulted who too often offer the drug solution (“My people will certainly be silenced, because there is no knowledge. Because the knowledge is what you yourself have rejected” - Hosea 4:6) and you don’t have to even own a computer.

The information is there for everyone’s convenience. And you can always ask others in your congregation or indeed other congregations, from brothers and sisters who are familiar with these subjects.

Many excellent books have been written on the subject, such as the one quoted later in this essay from David Burns, called ‘Feeling Good’ (Negative Emotions—Can You Overcome Them? - Oct 8 1992 ‘Awake’ magazine) “Every bad feeling you have is the result of your distorted negative thinking.” And ‘Beating the Blues’ by tanner and Ball.

However, it’s important to note that one book which has been with us during the whole lifetime of the human race has the very best advice on mental health. – The Holy Bible A good example of this is the following verse in Proverbs:

4

Proverbs 2:10-12 10 When wisdom enters into your heart and knowledge itself becomes pleasant to your very soul, 11 thinking ability itself will keep guard over you, discernment itself will safeguard you, 12 to deliver you from the bad way” but an even BETTER verse is the next chapter Proverbs 3:21-26 the first part of it says: 21 My son, may they not get away from your eyes. Safeguard practical wisdom and thinking ability, but be sure to read the whole section here particularly when it relates thinking ability to ‘practical wisdom’.

Note the word ‘practical’ which means you have to divert your brain from emotional hypothetics to logical and analytical thoughts and actions. Obsessive worriers are often people who sit around thinking about things rather than getting up and doing something. Running, playing music, or just plain being generous and helping someone to get your mind off of ‘poor old ME’ Note that this scripture does not say that THINKING will guard you. Rather THINKING ABILITY is the secret of mental strength. So it’s not thinking about a matter that will help you if you are down in the dumps. Rather it is the ability to think SELECTIVELY. The fact that the bible uses the word ‘ability’ in this case indicates that there is some training and effort involved in learning how to drive your brain. Much like learning to drive a car.

The workings of the brain can in some way be illustrated by the cogs in a gearbox. The word ‘COG’ as applied to a mechanical gearbox has nothing to do with mental cognition. It's actually an acronym meaning "Coalition of Gears” A gearbox allows the proper utilization of the motor in relation to variables encountered in transit. E.g., load and speed. Synapses are the connections in the brain which promote memory. In a gearbox, the clutch and synchromesh allows for easy manipulation of the gears to promote ease of forward motion or speed.

‘Cog’ is a very convenient word to use in an illustrative way to show how our mind works. If we know basically how a gearbox works, and what is happening when we move the gear shift, we will become better drivers. In the same way, if we become familiar with how our particular mental ‘cogs’ work, we will know how to ‘drive’ and control our thoughts.

We learn to recognize where our thoughts are headed at any particular time, and if they are veering off the ‘road’ of life, we learn to correct and control them by changing gears at the right time and steering them in the right direction.

People who develop the habit of not allowing their thoughts to wander in negative directions actually have automatic mental gearboxes which don’t have to be prompted all the time to change gears. They have trained their brains to just automatically change to a frame of mind that suits the current circumstances they are facing, be it negative or positive, and make the vehicle of their life drive more smoothly. But on the subject of the ‘car’ illustration, consider the following: Cars are very useful devices for people who have the ability to drive them. But they are lethal weapon in the hands of those who do not. Have you ever thought of your brain as being a lethal weapon? Well, if you don’t learn to drive it properly, that is exactly what it is. People who have not developed thinking ABILITY, but rather just go around thinking randomly all the time, are dangerous to themselves first and then to anyone that comes in contact with them.

Such poor mental drivers allow their brains to do just what they like, similar to a spoiled undisciplined child.

And the excuse they keep giving themselves to think negatively and sink into self pity and depression, is that some idiot did this or that to them, or some injustice was done to them. Or they should have not done something. Or they should have done something.. etc etc.

5

The brain can be likened to the chamber of a loaded gun with a hair trigger that fires off without any safety mechanism to control it. The bullets are the thoughts, already installed in the mental chamber. They automatically blast off in any direction at the mere hint of a problem. The person, who understands his or her mind, is the one who has installed a safety catch to stop the bullet-like thoughts from shooting off and ‘killing’ their own happiness and that of others they relate to.

The world is full of stupid people (including ourselves at times) who will do all sorts of crazy things to you, as you have probably done to someone else. Such as the clown in traffic who will stick his or her finger up at you, or swear at you for some simple traffic mistake which was probably repeated a thousand times by the very person doing the complaining. Do you think that by getting yourself all upset about it, you are hurting the other person, or helping you live a better life? Not likely.

The clown in traffic is probably having a great time out there swearing at someone else, while you get all excited and have a heart attack. Reacting to stupid people like this, whether they are road ragers, husbands, wives, or next door neighbours, is a sign that you do not have control over your brain. It is becoming more like a weapon than a useful machine.

By reacting to mentally compromised people like this, you are shooting yourself, not the other person, in the foot. And by continuing to think about what someone has said to you or about you, is in effect having an ongoing relationship with them, mentally if not physically.

Proverbs 13:20 warns: “He that is walking with wise persons will become wise, but he that is having dealings with the stupid ones will fare badly.” By allowing this stupid person to get into our heads, we are in effect ‘walking’ with them. You are making them your associate. Your close friend. And you will continue to be influenced by them.

Of course, if what that person said to you or even about you, is the truth and it is constructive criticism, take it on board and apply it. People pay big money to professionals for good advice, and this way you are getting it for free. So don’t worry about it or complain about it. Swallow your pride and use it.

6

Even if someone gossips about you. Try not to make such a big deal of it. Have you never gossiped about someone else yourself? I doubt that any of us are so perfect that we could claim innocence in that area.

Humans are naturally curious about one another. Good healthy gossip helps us to know who’s doing what and enables us to help them.

Of course slanderous gossip is very dangerous and discouraged scripturally but if it does happen to you, you still have to take it on board and don’t overreact. Otherwise, as said earlier, you will damage yourself, not the slanderer.

If you are doing your best, even if you have made some relationship mistakes in the past, stop worrying about other people’s opinions about you. Read carefully this excellent scriptural advice.

(Ecclesiastes 7:21) Also, do not give your heart to all the words that people may speak, that you may not hear your servant calling down evil upon you.

The result of having an ongoing mental relationship with stupid people is like loading yourself with unnecessary burdens or punishing yourself with a whip or rod. Note: Proverbs 26:3: “A whip is for the horse, a bridle is for the ass, and the rod is for the back of stupid people.”

The person you are upset with doesn’t know what you are thinking and is not affected by the way YOU feel.

So in fact if someone has done something bad to you in the past, by you thinking about it all the time, the torment continues. YOU continue to suffer. NOT the person who did bad to you. That person is STILL punishing you, because YOU are allowing it to happen because of your undisciplined untrained brain.

“Anyone inexperienced puts faith in every word.” (Proverbs 14:15) “Better is one who is patient than one who is haughty in spirit. Do not hurry yourself in your spirit to become offended, for the taking of offence is what rests in the bosom of the stupid ones.” (Ecclesiastes 7:8, 9) (Prov. 25:8) “Do not go forth to conduct a legal case hastily, that it may not be a question of what you will do in the culmination of it when your fellowman now humiliates you. 9 Plead your own cause with your fellowman, and do not reveal the confidential talk of another; 10 that the one listening may not put you to shame and the bad report by you can have no recall.”

See article ‘what’s wrong with getting even?’ at the end of this summary.

Here is a summary from the Bible to help identify and learn how to react to stupid people. These proverbs will also help us to avoid being stupid ourselves.

Proverbs 26 ‘Like snow in summer and like rain in harvest time, so glory is not fitting for a stupid one’.

3

A whip is for the horse, a bridle is for the ass, and the rod is for the back of stupid people.

4

Do not answer anyone stupid according to his foolishness, that you yourself also may not become equal to him.

5

Answer someone stupid according to his foolishness, that he may not become someone wise in his own eyes.

6

As one that is mutilating [his] feet, as one that is drinking mere violence, is he that is thrusting matters into the hand of someone stupid.

7

Have the legs of the lame one drawn up water? Then there is a proverb in the mouth of stupid people.

8

Like one shutting up a stone in a heap of stones, so is the one giving glory to a mere stupid one.

9

7

As a thorny weed has come up into the hand of a drunkard, so a proverb into the mouth of stupid people.

10

11

As an archer piercing everything is the one hiring someone stupid or the one hiring passers-by.

Just like a dog returning to its vomit, the stupid one is repeating his foolishness.

In taking this scriptural advice, don’t become cynical or self opinionated, giving the impression that you are the only one who is not stupid. We are all stupid at times and without going to the other extreme; don’t convey the idea that you are perfect. We are all in varying degrees of stupidity. But we all have to have a healthy self respect too. Be down to earth about yourself, but don’t be subterranean (mentally dig your own grave) People who have developed the ability to control their thoughts when others give them horrors, are the people who breeze through life looking at all the positives and having a great time.

But you say: “The reason I have to worry about it is because I’m concerned about the effects of actions that I regret.” Perhaps there are children or close friends involved in some action that has taken place. Well, you do have a reason for concern, but we humans are extremists. Concern is good. But the extreme of concern goes this way: Interest, concern, worry, anxiety, and depression.

So, be CONCERNED but develop the ability to regulate your concerns to prevent them from developing into depression, because, if you do not, you will not be able to think clearly about a matter, and this will result in making bad decisions, which will in turn bring about a confused result.

In other words, how are you going to think clearly about the needs of your children, or your spouse, or your friends, or your job, for example, if your brain is so befuddled and confused by worry and depression that you can’t even think straight?.

So remember this small adage from an old ‘Awake’ magazine, based on the scripture at Luke 12:28 which says: ‘Who of you buy being anxious can add a cubit to his life. If therefore, you cannot do the least thing, why be anxious about the remaining things?’

Don’t worry Do something about it If you can’t do anything about it Why Worry?

Or, remember this little poem (keep it in your wallet) For every problem under the sun There is an answer, or there is none If there is one, try to find it If there is none, never mind it.

Here are some more scriptures that talk about the subject of ABILITY Matthew 25:15 15 And to one he gave five talents, to another two, to still another one, to each one according to his own ability, and he went abroad

8

Proverbs 1:4 ‘to give to the inexperienced ones shrewdness, to a young man knowledge and thinking ability.’

Romans 12:1-2……. a sacred service with your power of reason. 2 And quit being fashioned after this system of things, but be transformed by making your mind over, that YOU may prove to yourselves the ….. perfect will of God. ‘Feeling Good” by David Burns The following is a brief summary of David Burn’s amazing book, ‘Feeling Good’ that is sweeping the world of psychiatry at this time. Notice how each major point that Dr Burns brings out, is actually based on a bible principle. (Although he probably doesn’t know it) In most cases you can save yourself a lot of money on psychiatrist’s fees, or time spent with elders in the congregation by becoming your own psychiatrist or more accurately psychologist (from what I understand the difference is that the psychiatrist has a doctorate and is able to prescribe medicine whereas a psychologist has lesser training but is able to give counsel and advice along the lines of cognitive therapy and is unable to prescribe medication.)

More on this here: http://psychology.about.com/od/psychotherapy/f/psychvspsych.htm At this conclusion of this essay, there is a one page summary of this material that you can hang on the refrigerator or somewhere handy. Keep in mind that it is one thing to know what we should think about, buts it another thing to remember and apply the advice.

You need constant reminders, so why not look at it often and hold it in your memory. Becoming a capable driver means that you have to drive often. To have thinking ABILITY you have to become an expert on the subject and PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE thinking the RIGHT WAY. Here is the summary: The first thing you must do is isolate your particular problem and then do the written lessons contained in the book that trains your mind to overcome your particular mental weakness.

This summary is only to give you a brief overview of the value of this publication. You need to spend the $20 or so and get your own copy. When you cure yourself, you can start using your experience to help cure someone else, because you will then become an authority on the subject and your success in helping someone else will reinforce your cure and make you even stronger mentally.

As the book points out, there are some cases of course that require professional help and inquiries can be made to locate a local practitioner who can help.

1 All moods are created by thoughts. You feel the way you do because of the thoughts you are thinking at this moment. You create the feelings because of the dialogue (conversation) you are having with yourself. The moment you have a certain thought, and believe it, you will experience an immediate emotional response. Your thought creates the emotion.

2.

When you are feeling depressed, your thoughts are dominated by pervasive negativity and you will force yourself to believe that things are really bad when they are probably not. By extension, you will start believing that things have always been bad and will always be bad. Bleakness and hopelessness will dominate your thinking.

9 3.

4.

5.

Negative thoughts always contain gross distortions. Twisted thinking is the exclusive cause of nearly all your suffering. Your depression is not based on accurate perceptions of reality but is the product of mental slippage. It is a phoney synthetic counterfeit deception.

Once you believe the above proposition to be true, you have to learn methods of pinpointing your mental distortions and eliminating them.. When you eliminate the mental distortions which cause you to feel upset you will experience a rapid emotional transformation. You have to learn mood modification techniques.

Speed of recovery depends on chronicity of condition (how chronic or long standing it is) Most crucial is the persistent willingness (note Gal.6:9 below) to exert some effort to help yourself. The mood training will bring about a sense of self esteem and confidence. Some reported a feeling of true exhilaration for the first time, no matter how miserable depressed and pessimistic they felt before.. Some had relapses but overcame them.

Galatians 6:9 ‘So let us not give up in doing what is fine, for in due season we shall reap if we do not tire out.’

6. First identify the specifics of your concern.

James 1:23-24 23 For if anyone is a hearer of the word, and not a doer, this one is like a man looking at his natural face in a mirror. 24 For he looks at himself, and off he goes and immediately forgets what sort of man he is 7. Do you have: [a] Insecurity [b] Inferiority [c] Procrastination(see matt.5:37 below)[d] Guilt [e] Stress [f] Frustration [g] Irritability [h] Nervousness [i] Panic Attacks [j] Phobias [k] Fear of Heights [l] Public Speaking [m] Social situations [n] agoraphobia (test anxiety) (see – Phil 4:7 and the article ‘Peace of God’ at the end of this document) Any of these can create an endless cycle of blame, hostility, fear, loneliness, and depression.

Matthew 5:37 ‘Just let YOUR word Yes mean Yes, YOUR No, No; for what is in excess of these is from the wicked one’ “The peace of God that excels all thought will guard your hearts and your mental powers by means of Christ Jesus.”—Phil. 4:7.

8.

Two goals: [1] Changing the way we feel and. [2] Accepting yourself and your circumstances

(1 Timothy 6:8) So, having sustenance and covering, we shall be content with these things.

9.

Changing the way you feel (see Eph. 4:23 below) [a] Accept yourself as you are with all imperfections.

Only try to change what can be changed. The rest accept [b] Understand that everyone else, including your medical advisor has these imperfections, including mental reservations and insecurities [c] If you work it right, your weaknesses can be your strengths. But first you must clearly identify them to make use of them.

Ephesians 4:23-24 ‘be made new in the force actuating YOUR mind, 24 and should put on the new personality which was created according to God’s will in true righteousness and loyalty.’

10.

Every kind of negative feeling comes from a different type of negative thought.

• • •

Sadness and depression come from thoughts of loss. ( i.e. rejection from someone you love) Frustration: from unfulfilled expectations.

Anxiety and Panic – Thoughts of danger, or fear that you will make a fool of yourself if giving a public talk.

10

•

Guilt – because you feel that you are a bad person. You dwell on past indiscretions. (see ‘guilt’ article below) confess your sins (James 5:16) “Jehovah is near to those that are broken at heart; and those who are crushed in spirit he saves.”

(Psalm 34:18) • Inferiority – you are inadequate in comparison with others. (see article on ‘comparisons’ below) Galatians 6:4-5 ‘But let each one prove what his own work is, and then he will have cause for exultation in regard to himself alone, and not in comparison with the other person. 5 For each one will carry his own load.’

• 1 Timothy 4:12 ‘Let no man ever look down on your youth. On the contrary, become an example to the faithful ones in speaking, in conduct, in love, in faith, in chasteness. ‘ • Anger - from feelings of unfairness, unjust treatment, taking advantage.

Hopelessness, Discouragement – convinced that there will be no end to your situation.

11. We fool ourselves by telling ourselves untruths. We are conned by our misery and self doubt.

James 1:22 ‘However, become doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves with false reasoning’ A. Black and white thinking - ‘I’ve blown my diet completely’ B. Overgeneralization - ‘I’m always loosing my keys’ C. You pick out a single negative detail and dwell on it. (Good public talk but…)

D. Discounting or minimizing the positive – job well done but still not good enough E. Jumping to conclusions - without basis you imagine that someone is treating you badly or doesn’t like you.

F. Magnification – exaggerates shortcomings, minimize good qualities.

G. Emotional reasoning – It must be dangerous to fly, I must be a rotten person, I really am hopeless.

H. ‘Should’ statements – Musts, oughts, and have - to’s against yourself lead to frustration, against others lead also to anger – makes you feel rebellious and do the opposite to what you should do.

I. ‘Labelling’ - I’m a: Fool, looser, Jerk.

J. Personalization and blame - ‘this shows what a bad mother I am’ Opposite of this is to blame everyone else for your problems. This discourages you from looking at what you should work on yourself. Blaming someone else for your actions never works. Like hot potato, it goes back and forth until someone is stuck with it.

There is a lot more on this subject in the rest of Burn’s book and it may be that you need to get your own copy. However, if you really study the material in this summary, it could be that you will develop the needed ability to control your mind.

What about Feelings of Guilt about something we have either done, or not done.

Well, guilt is a good trigger to get us to sort out problems, but for a Christian it should only be a very brief interlude. A fleeting thought that will be dissolved when you take immediate action.

The main thing, as mentioned earlier, is to DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! Either talk to a family member or family head, or a congregation elder, if it serious enough and ADDRESS THE PROBLEM no matter how severe it might be. Keep in mind that no matter what you have done, it's COMPLETELY IMPOSSIBLE to lose your life or fall out of favor with Jehovah as long as you have a humble heart full of repentance. Jehovah’s heart will leap for joy at your humility and he will completely shelve all your stupidities and restore you. This knowledge alone can be enough to wipe out depression in one ‘fell swoop’ as Shakespeare put it. And keep in mind that we have all done things we regret. If Jehovah took note of all the bad things that people do and have done, there would be no one surviving Armageddon. Jesus sacrifice would have been a waste of time and energy.

11

Read Psalms: 130: 1 ‘Out of the depths I have called upon you, O Jehovah.

2 O Jehovah, do hear my voice.

May your ears prove to be attentive to the voice of my entreaties.

3 If errors were what you watch, O Jah, O Jehovah, who could stand?

4 For there is the [true] forgiveness with you, In order that you may be feared.’

Remember not to Be Cruel to Yourself. Remember that Jesus bought you. You don’t belong to yourself so if you start treating Jesus property with disdain, even not liking what he owns, you have got it all wrong. Look after yourself in the same way as you would if you borrowed a very valuable item such as a car from someone.

Would you drive it recklessly? The ‘car’ is your life. But you don’t own it. It’s only on loan. Jesus paid with his life for it. So look after it and stop cheapening it by thinking negatively about yourself.

Consider the good advice recorded at Proverbs 11:17. First the inspired writer tells us that “a man of loving-kindness is dealing rewardingly with his own soul.” Then he says in contrast: “But the cruel person is bringing ostracism upon his own organism.”

Too often when we go to meetings, we find out what we should not be doing and what we should be doing, and how we should not think too much of ourselves, which is excellent counsel. Wisely, we are told, ‘do not think more of yourself than it is necessary to think, but think so as to have a sound mind.’

(Rom. 12:3) But don’t think TOO LITTLE either. Remember the word ‘necessary’ in this scripture, indicating that it IS NECESSARY to think well of yourself. You can’t love someone else like yourself if you don’t like yourself..

Or as one very wise brother said in a recent public talk, Be down to earth, but don’t dig your grave.

Along with this comes the bad habit of perfectionism. Not to confuse aiming at perfection with this bad trait. It’s great to aim to do your best in everything. But unrealistic expectations of yourself and others will only lead to disappointment, discouragement and aggravation both inwardly and outwardly as you relate to others.

Jesus was a perfect man. But he was not a perfectionist. Otherwise he would have really torn strips off the apostle Peter on a NUMBER of occasions not less when Peter and other apostles dropped off to sleep after Jesus told them specifically to stay awake. Not at any old time, but on the most important night in history when he was about to die on behalf of us all and after he had said a specific prayer to Jehovah.

Here is the account: 40

And he came to the disciples and found them sleeping, and he said to Peter: “Could YOU men not so much as watch one hour with me? 41 Keep on the watch and pray continually, that YOU may not enter into temptation. The spirit, of course, is eager, but the flesh is weak.” 42 Again, for the second time, he went off and prayed, saying: “My Father, if it is not possible for this to pass away except I drink it, let your will take place.” 43 And he came again and found them sleeping, for their eyes were heavy. 44 So leaving them, he again went off and prayed for the third time, saying once more the same word. 45 Then he came to the disciples and said to them: “At such a time as this YOU are sleeping and taking YOUR rest! Matt. 26:40 So, Jesus’ rather nonchalant (or casual) statement “the spirit of course is eager, but the flesh is weak” could be interpreted in modern idiom….’ahh well, what does it matter...What can you expect?”

12

This very ‘contained’ approach to life that Jesus had is an excellent example for perfectionists and those who expect too much of themselves and others. Just do your best and let the rest of the world go by.

Anyone who learns this art will rarely be depressed.

If you are like Jesus you will only really get excited and annoyed when something really unscriptural or serious comes up. (And he found in the temple those selling cattle and sheep and doves and the money brokers in their seats. 15 So, after making a whip of ropes, he drove all those with the sheep and cattle out of the temple, and he poured out the coins of the money changers and overturned their tables. 16 And he said to those selling the doves: “Take these things away from here! Stop making the house of my Father a house of merchandise!” 17 His disciples called to mind that it is written: “The zeal for your house will eat me up.” – John 2:14) GOOD ADVICE: ACT - Don’t RE-ACT Most anxiety and depression problems have something to do either with other people or things that happen.

If you are a person who gets anxious because of these things, try to learn the skill of ACTING not RE-ACTING It has been said that "Life is 1% what happens to you and 99% your reaction to it."

Instead of getting excited about what happens. Stop, and THINK about it. Some solutions come quickly.

Others take a bit more time.(it is said that ‘the impossible’ just takes a little longer) Take the time to think it out rather than being rushed. You might have to excuse yourself from a situation first. If it’s an emotional problem, just say. Would you mind if I just thought about this before saying something that will just make matters worse?

Some solutions might sound stupid. But sometimes they work so always consider the simple solutions.

(Maybe just a bunch of flowers or a small card can dissolve a situation) Here are some excellent articles to review in order to apply these principles to your own life. g92 10/8 3-4 Negative Emotions-Can You Overcome Them?

Negative Emotions—Can You Overcome Them?

“OF COURSE NOT! Negative emotions are too powerful. I have no choice but to endure them until they pass.”

That is how many respond to the idea of overcoming emotions such as anxiety, fear, anger, frustration, guilt, self-pity, and depression. But those emotions can be overcome. Rather than surrender to them whenever they arise, you can learn to lessen their intensity, perhaps even eliminate them.

Of course, there is a significant difference between the normal negative emotions that are experienced by everyone and severe depression. The latter may require professional treatment. The former do not, and these are the emotions we can learn to cope with.

Actually, not all negative emotions are harmful. For example, when you make a serious mistake, you may express remorse in proportion to the mistake. If this moves you to correct it and avoid repeating it in the future, then the emotion has had a positive long-term effect. Or the normal concern you may have about a problem may move you to tackle it with vigour and seek a reasonable solution. That too is a healthy response.

However, what if after you do what you reasonably can to correct a mistake, your feelings of guilt or worthlessness still cling to you, perhaps persisting for a long time afterward? Or what if after you resolve a

13

problem to the extent possible, your feelings of worry remain and even intensify? Then your emotional responses may make you miserable.

How, then, can you overcome those emotional responses? The key may be found in controlling our thinking.

We Can Control Our Thinking Many who work in the field of mental health maintain that our feelings are caused by our thoughts. For example, Dr. Wayne W. Dyer points out: “You cannot have a feeling (emotion) without first having experienced a thought.” Dr. David D. Burns further states: “Every bad feeling you have is the result of your distorted negative thinking.”

Interestingly, the Bible likewise attributes much of what we feel to our choice of thoughts, so it emphasizes the need to control our thinking. Note the following verses: The following are a series of DYNAMIC Bible verses that hone in on this important subject. We have followed each scripture with a suggested statement that puts it the way we speak today.

“All the days of the afflicted one are bad; but the one that is good at heart has a feast constantly.”—Proverbs 15:15.

If you keep thinking about discouraging things you will feel rotten, but if you are happy you will feel great all the time “Quit being fashioned after this system of things, but be transformed by making your mind over, that you may prove to yourselves the good and acceptable and perfect will of God.”—Romans 12:2.

Stop following what many people do. Change the way you think and show you are actually doing what God advises you in the scriptures “We are bringing every thought into captivity to make it obedient to the Christ.”—2 Corinthians 10:5.

Get control of your thinking and try to actually DO what the scriptures tell you.

“You should put away the old personality which conforms to your former course of conduct . . . ; you should be made new in the force actuating your mind, and should put on the new personality which was created according to God’s will in true righteousness and loyalty.”—Ephesians 4:22-24.

Don’t use the excuse that it's ‘just me’ Change your personality by changing the way you think and try to copy Gods thoughts.

“Whatever things are true, whatever things are of serious concern, whatever things are righteous, whatever things are chaste, whatever things are lovable, whatever things are well spoken of, whatever virtue there is and whatever praiseworthy thing there is, continue considering these things.”—Philippians 4:8.

Keep thinking about good things all the time.

“Keep your minds fixed on the things above, not on the things upon the earth.”—Colossians 3:2.

14

Keep thinking about good things based on the scriptures not on negative things that surround us all the time.

Since your feelings are chiefly a product of your thinking, the key to overcoming your negative emotions is to control the thoughts that support them. With sufficient effort and time, you can learn to bring your thoughts under greater control. It therefore follows that you can do the same to your feelings.

True, it is easy to say that we can overcome our negative emotions. But it is something else actually to do it.

How, then, can we proceed to cope with these emotions that may cause us so much difficulty?

Here are some excellent articles from the Watchtower and Awake on these subjects. w80 11/1 17-22 "The Peace of God That Excels All Thought" “The Peace of God That Excels All Thought” “The peace of God that excels all thought will guard your hearts and your mental powers by means of Christ Jesus.”—Phil. 4:7.

THE Christian apostle Paul knew from experience that godly persons have no reason for undue anxiety, for Jehovah is with them. Paul had been imprisoned, beaten, stoned, had often been near death, and had experienced many dangers, even among false brothers. But never had God abandoned him. The apostle constantly turned to his heavenly Father in earnest prayer, casting anxieties on him and never experiencing disappointment.—2 Cor. 4:7-9; 11:23-27.

2 So it was with utmost confidence that Paul urged fellow Christians not to be anxious over anything, but to let their petitions be made known to God, taking everything to Him in prayer and supplication along with thanksgiving. What would result from their doing this? The apostle continued: “And the peace of God that excels all thought will guard your hearts and your mental powers by means of Christ Jesus.”—Phil. 4:6, 7.

A Peace That “Excels All Thought” 3 The “peace of God” is a calmness and tranquillity enjoyed by dedicated witnesses of Jehovah even amid the most difficult circumstances. It stems from a close personal relationship with our Father in heaven. As possessors of such peace from Jehovah, we let God’s holy spirit motivate us and are sensitive to its leadings.

In fact, we pray for that spirit, and for its fruit of peace. (Luke 11:13; Gal. 5:22, 23; Eph. 4:30) Hence, we have no reason to be overwhelmed by anxiety, for we know that nothing can happen that is outside the divine providence. (Compare Acts 11:26.) Indeed, Jehovah makes all his servants “dwell in security.”—Ps. 4:8.

4 Compared with Jehovah’s Witnesses, many people may have more secular education or greater ability in certain fields of human endeavour. They have problems, of course, but are confident that they will be able to reason out suitable solutions. Hence, they feel quite secure, not being especially anxious about their personal future. They seem to be at peace, enjoying relative tranquillity. Why, the Scriptures mention even “the very peace of wicked people”!—Ps. 73:3.

5 The “peace of God,” however, is entirely different. It is not based on self-confidence and the viewpoint that human reasoning will always succeed. Paul said that this God-given peace “excels all thought” or “surpasses all comprehension.” It has been called “that peace of God, which is so much greater than we can understand.”

(Phil. 4:7, New World Translation of the Holy Scriptures; The New American Standard Bible: New Testament; The Jerusalem Bible) Yes, those faithfully serving Jehovah have a tranquillity neither possessed nor understood by humans in general.

6 Whether those dedicated to Jehovah really have the “peace of God” becomes especially evident when things happen that affect them deeply but that are beyond their control. Humanly speaking, they are incapable of coping with such anxieties. Do we at times find ourselves in these circumstances? How

15

appropriate that we then pray earnestly, being specific in our petitions and making definite requests for divine aid or direction! (Compare Judges 6:36-40.)

Thereafter, we must wait for Jehovah to act. In the meantime, if we have the “peace of God,” we can sense the aid of Jehovah’s holy spirit and we remain tranquil, patiently waiting to see how the Most High will work out the problem. There is nothing foolhardy about this attitude, for the psalmist David said: “Throw your burden upon Jehovah himself, and he himself will sustain you. Never will he allow the righteous one to totter.” (Ps. 55:22) Moreover, when the problem is thus resolved and the test is past, we will know that “the God who gives peace” has answered our prayers.—Rom. 15:33.

Guards Hearts and Mental Powers 7 Paul said that the “peace of God” will ‘guard our hearts and mental powers.’ (Phil. 4:7) One Bible translation calls this peace “a garrison to guard your hearts and minds.” (Weymouth) In the Scriptures, “heart” often denotes the seat of affection and motivation. (Ex. 35:21, 26, 29; Ps. 119:11) If we are plagued by undue anxiety, our affections and motivations may be acted upon detrimentally and we may behave in an unbalanced or improper way. For instance, we may ‘become heated up because of evildoers,’ thus being robbed of all tranquillity. But this will not happen if we possess the “peace of God,” for then we will know that Jehovah sees all things and will settle accounts in due time. (Ps. 37:1-11) So our hearts will remain calm and will not impel us to act rashly. This is good for us emotionally, spiritually and even physically, for “a calm heart is the life of the fleshly organism.”—Prov. 14:30.

8 “Mental powers” are not synonymous with “hearts,” although there is interplay between them. Whereas the mind reasons on information, the heart motivates a person. So to make sure that we are pursuing a proper course, we must have knowledge of God’s Word and must prayerfully rely on him.

If our minds were unduly distressed—if we were to have great anxiety—we could not make suitable decisions. We might even lose mental balance. However, this is not likely to happen to us if we have the “peace of God,” because then our hearts are in check and our minds are at rest. We really believe that ‘the hand of Jehovah is with us’ and that nothing our heavenly Father may permit will do us lasting injury. (Matt.

10:28; Acts 11:21) Instead of being anxious and beleaguered by many troubled thoughts, we truly trust in Jehovah, and thus our “mental powers” are guarded. How? “By means of Christ Jesus,” through whom a close personal relationship with the heavenly Father has been made possible.—Gal. 1:3-5.

9 Naturally, Paul himself knew that Christians are not totally without heartfelt concern. He admitted that the failure of fellow Jews to embrace the “good news” caused him ‘great grief and unceasing pain of heart.’ Yet the apostle was not overwhelmed by anxiety and was content to let matters rest with God, who acts justly in choosing those upon whom He will have mercy. (Rom. 9:1-18) Hence, despite strong feelings, Paul let the “peace of God” guard his heart and mental powers.

10 Like Paul, who undeniably had deep concern, we can have the “peace of God”—that inner tranquillity and calmness that results from a precious relationship with Jehovah. It truly can guard our hearts and mental powers from becoming overly anxious about our needs.

We can be confident, fully assured that Jehovah provides for his servants and answers their prayers. Instead of being in constant turmoil, our hearts and minds will be at rest because we trust implicitly in our heavenly Father.—Ps. 33:20-22.

Life’s Necessities Assured 11 If we truly have the “peace of God” and are convinced that he is the “Hearer of prayer,” we will be able to cope with anxieties. (Ps. 65:2) We will always feel that we have divine help, and in this there is great peace of heart and mind. For instance, we will not be unduly anxious about life’s necessities. Jesus told his followers:

16

“Quit being anxious about your souls [or, “life”] as to what you will eat or about your bodies as to what you will wear.”

Why should we not have such anxiety? Because Jehovah, who makes ample provision for the birds and the lilies, surely can and will feed and clothe his faithful servants. “So,” said Jesus, “quit seeking what you might eat and what you might drink, and quit being in anxious suspense . . . Nevertheless, seek continually (God’s) kingdom, and these things will be added to you.” (Luke 12:22-31) Indeed, if we put spiritual interests first in life, we can be confident that our heavenly Father will take care of us.

12 Even individuals devoted to Jehovah need to avoid placing too much emphasis on material things. For example, because the land could not sustain them together and to end quarrelling between their herdsmen, Abraham granted his nephew Lot the opportunity to choose where he preferred to reside. Lot chose the best of the land, but this meant living among wrongdoers. In time, he was taken captive and had to be rescued.

(Gen. 13:1–14:16) Later, Lot found it necessary to abandon his material possessions so that his life might be spared when Jehovah destroyed Sodom. Still later, Lot felt compelled to leave the city of Zoar and take up residence in a cave. (Gen. 19:1-26, 30-38) Although he is called “righteous Lot,” it appears he learned the “hard way” the folly of a godly person’s laying great stress on supposed material advantages. (2 Pet. 2:7, 8) How much better to pray for specific direction and always put spiritual interests first in life!

13 If we do make spiritual matters of utmost importance in our lives, this will contribute to our peace of heart and mind. Certainly, we can be confident that the One to whom all the gold and silver belong is fully capable of furnishing his servants with life’s necessities. (Hag. 2:8) Of course, it is proper to pray that God will “give us today our bread for this day,” and it is fitting to work industriously to meet real needs. (Prov. 6:6-11; 31:10, 13-24; Matt. 6:11) But ‘since we brought nothing into the world and cannot carry anything out, we should be content with sustenance and covering.’ (1 Tim. 6:6-12) Why be in anxious suspense? The psalmist was right when he said: “A young man I used to be, I have also grown old, and yet I have not seen anyone righteous left entirely, nor his offspring looking for bread.”—Ps. 37:25.

The Way to Real Success 14 It is not uncommon for men of the world to create anxiety for themselves by placing great emphasis on human achievement. The Bible does, of course, encourage diligence and the development of skill in one’s work. (Prov. 22:29) But blinding ambition and much anxiety over supposed success are not compatible with the “peace of God.” In fact, the quest for dominance over others may cause the ambitious person to use questionable methods, perhaps undermining the efforts of fellow workers and pursuing a devious course that results in divine disapproval. (Prov. 3:32; 2 Cor. 4:1, 2) True, the overly ambitious may receive the plaudits of men, even as hypocritical religious leaders of 19 centuries ago made gifts, prayed and fasted in such ways as to receive praise. But Jesus Christ condemned their actions and said that those self-centred hypocrites were “having their reward in full.” (Matt. 6:1-18) How foolish for any of Jehovah’s Witnesses to live with self-made anxiety by trying to be “great,” only to find that eternal blessings have thus been lost!—Compare Jeremiah 45:5.

15 For the person who truly enjoys the “peace of God,” the way to real success does not lead to questionable methods and pointless striving. From the Scriptures he has learned that in present-day society, filled as it is only with imperfect and sinful humans, ‘the swift do not have the race, nor the mighty ones the battle, nor do the wise have the food, nor the understanding ones the riches, nor the knowledgeable ones the favour.’ (Eccl.

9:11) Indeed, “foolishness has been put in many high positions,” and a person can see “servants on horses but princes walking on the earth just like servants.” (Eccl. 10:5-7) Yes, princely or noble individuals may not be

17

granted the dignity they deserve, whereas servants—far less qualified men—may be ‘riding on horses’ just like the nobility.

16 Have you been ‘put on the shelf,’ as it were, not enjoying the supposed success you once desired? Why be anxious about that? Let the “peace of God” reign in your heart, and experience the comforting tranquillity that this brings. Continue to do the divine will and look to your heavenly Father to bless your efforts in his service. This is what really matters in life. Godly success and achievement depend on spiritual objectives and viewpoints. The psalmist correctly stated: “Happy is the man that has not walked in the counsel of the wicked ones . . . But his delight is in the law of Jehovah, and in his law he reads in an undertone day and night. And he will certainly become like a tree planted by streams of water, that gives its own fruit in its season and the foliage of which does not wither, and everything he does will succeed.”—Ps. 1:1-3.

17 We could enjoy no greater success in life than to come into and maintain an intimate relationship with Jehovah God. A keen desire to please him will move us to bring him honour by our godly words and deeds, to do good to fellow humans and to share with them “the glorious good news of the happy God.” (1 Tim. 1:11) Great will be our joy if, with the blessing of our heavenly Father, we can help others to learn about his marvellous purposes and also come into a precious dedicated relationship with him. Then, like us, they will learn to cope with life’s anxieties. They, too, will come to enjoy “the peace of God that excels all thought.”

(Study Questions) 1. Why did the apostle Paul know that godly persons have no reason for undue anxiety?

2. What would result if fellow Christians followed Paul’s counsel recorded at Philippians chapter four, verse six?

3. (a) What is the “peace of God”? (b) If we have God-given peace, why have we no reason for overwhelming anxiety?

4, 5. (a) Compared with Jehovah’s Witnesses, what kind of peace do others have? (b) How does the “peace of God” differ from any peace that might be experienced by those not serving Jehovah faithfully?

6. (a) When does it become especially evident that we have the “peace of God”? (b) While waiting for Jehovah to act on a matter about which we have prayed, do we have any help? (c) Is it spiritually strengthening to ‘throw our burdens upon Jehovah,’ and why do you so answer?

7. (a) In the Scriptures, “heart” often denotes what? (b) If we have the “peace of God,” why will we not ‘become heated up because of evildoers’?

8. (a) At Philippians 4:7, what is the difference between “hearts” and “mental powers”? (b) If we have the “peace of God,” why is it unlikely that we will lose mental balance? (c) Will anything permitted by our heavenly Father do us lasting harm?

9. Although Paul had the “peace of God,” was he entirely without heartfelt concern?

10. How, then, will God-given peace guard our hearts and mental powers?

11. Having the “peace of God,” why should we not be unduly anxious about life’s necessities?

12. What Scriptural illustration shows why even those devoted to Jehovah must avoid placing too much emphasis on material things?

13. Why should Christians not be in anxious suspense over life’s necessities?

14. Why is it not fitting for us, as Christian witnesses, to place great emphasis on human achievement and supposed success related to it?

15. Regarding supposed success, what can a godly person learn from Ecclesiastes 9:11 and 10:5-7?

16. On what do godly success and achievement depend?

17. (a) To enjoy the greatest success, what must we do? (b) What can you do to help others to enjoy “the peace of God that excels all thought”?

Even amid the most difficult circumstances the Christian can enjoy the “peace of God” w83 8/1 8 Hope for Despairing Ones ‘Go for Help’

18

A young woman experienced severe financial and marital problems. In the midst of one crisis, she took an overdose of drugs, which she happily survived. Reflecting on why she did it, she now says: “I think the problem is that I did not let anybody know how I was feeling. I did not plan the attempt. Things just built up inside until I impulsively did this thing.” Her advice? “Go to others for help before you reach that point.”

That is sound advice. Sometimes when we are under emotional strain our burdens may seem too heavy to carry. Our guilt, grief or hopelessness may be just too weighty. But we are not expected to carry our burdens alone. Through the apostle Paul, Jehovah God commands: “Go on carrying the burdens of one another.”

(Galatians 6:2) Others want to help. They may have the obligation to help. But they often will not know how much you need help unless you tell them.

A young girl, three of whose friends committed suicide, asked in anguish: “How could we have known? . . .

How could we have been there when they needed us if we never knew how they felt?” It may be agonizingly difficult to speak to others about your problems. But you may be surprised how easily the words flow after a start has been made. And be assured that others do want to help. Let us see who some of these others are. g79 6/22 28 Should You Be Concerned About How Others View You? Moreover, the genuine Christian does not have to be concerned as to how unspiritual persons inside and outside the Christian congregation may assess him. The apostle Peter stressed this in the following words: “For this purpose the good news was declared also to the [spiritually] dead, that they might be judged as to the flesh from the standpoint of men but might live as to the spirit from the standpoint of God.” (1 Pet. 4:6) While those who accept the “good news” come to life from a spiritual standpoint, unspiritual persons may continue to make their evaluations of such ones on the basis of fleshly considerations, judging those who lack worldly influence, power, position and possessions as mere nobodies. This should not trouble us. The more important thing is God’s judgment of us. We want him to regard us as living truly spiritual lives.

There simply is no way to please faultfinders. That is why the conscientious Christian does not need to trouble himself about his being compared unfavourably with others. The Christian apostle Paul was subjected to such unfavourable comparisons by certain members of the congregation at Corinth. His response to such a wrongful assessment of him can be encouraging to us.

He wrote: “To me it is a very trivial matter that I should be examined by you or by a human tribunal. Even I do not examine myself. For I am not conscious of anything against myself. Yet by this I am not proved righteous, but he that examines me is Jehovah. Hence do not judge anything before the due time, until the Lord comes, who will both bring the secret things of darkness to light and make the counsels of the hearts manifest, and then each one will have his praise come to him from God.”—1 Cor. 4:3-5.

Certainly the apostle Paul knew his reasons and motivations for speaking and acting, better than did those who presumed to examine him or to assess his worth. He conscientiously acted in accord with Christ’s example and teaching. That is why he regarded such an examination as a “very trivial matter,” something that deserved no serious consideration.

The apostle Paul realized that the assessment that would be made by the Lord Jesus Christ as God’s appointed judge did matter. Similarly, Christians today need to keep in mind the seriousness of being examined by Jehovah God through the Son. This can help them to avoid becoming disturbed about the assessments of unspiritual persons and to shun making such unspiritual judgments themselves.

Thus the Scriptures make it clear that there are times for being concerned about how others may view us and also times when we should not become concerned over what others may think or say. Our chief concern at

19

all times should be in proving ourselves unblemished before our God by preserving a clean conscience before him and fellow humans. However, we should treat groundless faultfinding, ridicule or unspiritual judgments as amounting to nothing, as we continue to conduct all our affairs in a manner that will bring glory to God and to our Lord Jesus Christ.

The following could be said to be the ‘prince’ of articles on the subject of balancing the need to be organized, with staying happy and feeling good about yourself and others w93 4/1 28-31 Be Happy and Organized BEING organized lets us do things well. Being efficient helps us make the best use of time and resources.

(Galatians 6:16; Philippians 3:16; 1 Timothy 3:2) But there is more to life than organization and efficiency. The inspired psalmist wrote: “Happy is the people whose God is Jehovah!” (Psalm 144:15) The challenge is to be happy as well as organized in all that we do.

Organized and Happy Jehovah God is the greatest example of good organization. All his creations, from single cells to complex living creatures, from tiny atoms to immense galaxies, show order and precision. His universal laws let us plan our lives with confidence. We know that the sun will rise each morning and that summer will follow winter.— Genesis 8:22; Isaiah 40:26.

But Jehovah is more than a God of order. He is also “the happy God.” (1 Timothy 1:11; 1 Corinthians 14:33) His happiness is seen in his creations. Playful kittens, beautiful sunsets, appetizing food, inspiring music, stimulating work, and a host of other things show that he intended for us to enjoy life. His laws are not irksome restrictions but safeguards for our happiness.

Jesus Christ models himself after his Father. He is “the happy and only Potentate” and behaves exactly as his Father does. (1 Timothy 6:15; John 5:19) When he labored with his Father in creative work, he was more than simply an efficient “master worker.” He was happy in what he did. He was “glad before [Jehovah] all the time, being glad at the productive land of his earth, and the things [he] was fond of were with the sons of men.”— Proverbs 8:30, 31.

We want to reflect similar kindness, gladness, and fondness for people in all that we do. Sometimes, though, in a drive for efficiency, we may forget that “walking orderly . . . by [God’s] spirit” includes producing the fruits of God’s spirit. (Galatians 5:22-25) So we do well to ask, How can we be both organized and happy in our own activity and in directing the work of others?

Do Not Be Cruel to Yourself Consider the good advice recorded at Proverbs 11:17. First the inspired writer tells us that “a man of lovingkindness is dealing rewardingly with his own soul.” Then he says in contrast: “But the cruel person is bringing ostracism upon his own organism.” The New International Version puts it this way: “A kind man benefits himself, but a cruel man brings himself harm.”

How might we inadvertently be cruel to ourselves? One way is by being well-intentioned but completely disorganized. With what results? Says one expert: “A slip of memory, a wrongly filed document, an order insufficiently understood, a telephone call inaccurately recorded—these are the minutia of failure, the worms that eat into the fabric of efficiency and lay waste the best intentions.”—Teach Yourself Personal Efficiency.

This agrees with the inspired writer who said: “The one showing himself slack in his work—he is a brother to the one causing ruin.” (Proverbs 18:9) Yes, disorganized, inefficient people can cause calamity and ruin to themselves and others. Because of this, others often shun them. As a result of their slackness, they bring ostracism on themselves.

A Live Dog or a Dead Lion?

But we can be cruel to ourselves also by setting excessively high standards. We can aim, says the above writer on efficiency, for “a standard of perfection impossible of full attainment.” The result, he says, is “to land

20

ourselves ultimately in heartbreak and disillusionment.” A perfectionist may be well organized and efficient, but he will never be truly happy. Sooner or later he gets only heartbreak.

If we tend toward being a perfectionist, we do well to remember that “a live dog is better off than a dead lion.” (Ecclesiastes 9:4) We might not literally kill ourselves through an unrealistic striving for perfection, but we can seriously harm ourselves through burnout. This, says one authority, involves “physical, emotional, spiritual, intellectual, and interpersonal exhaustion.” (Job Stress and Burnout) Exhausting ourselves by striving after unattainable goals is surely being cruel to ourselves and inevitably robs us of happiness.

Deal Rewardingly With Yourself Remember: “A man of loving-kindness is dealing rewardingly with his own soul.” (Proverbs 11:17) We deal rewardingly with ourselves when we set realistic and reasonable goals, keeping in mind that the happy God, Jehovah, knows our limitations. (Psalm 103:8-14) We can be happy if we too recognize those limitations and then “do our utmost,” within our capabilities, to fulfill our obligations well.—Hebrews 4:11; 2 Timothy 2:15; 2 Peter 1:10.

Of course, there is always the danger of swinging to the other extreme—being too kind to ourselves. Do not forget Jesus’ reply to the apostle Peter’s suggestion, “Be kind to yourself, Lord,” when, in fact, resolute action was needed. So dangerous was Peter’s thinking that Jesus said: “Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me, because you think, not God’s thoughts, but those of men.” (Matthew 16:22, 23) Dealing rewardingly with our own soul does not allow for a careless, self-indulgent attitude. That could also rob us of all happiness. Reasonableness, not fanaticism, is what we need.—Philippians 4:5.

Deal Rewardingly With Others The scribes and the Pharisees of Jesus’ day likely thought they were highly efficient and organized. A Dictionary of the Bible says of their way of worship: “Every biblical commandment was surrounded by a network of petty regulations.

No allowance was made for changing circumstances; full obedience to the Law in all its particulars was inexorably demanded of every Jew . . . Legal details were multiplied until religion became a trade, and life an intolerable burden. Men were reduced to moral automatons. The voice of conscience was stifled; the living power of the Divine word was neutralized and smothered beneath a mass of eternal rules.”

No wonder Jesus Christ condemned them for this. “They bind up heavy loads,” he said, “and put them upon the shoulders of men, but they themselves are not willing to budge them with their finger.” (Matthew 23:4) Loving elders refrain from burdening the flock with a multiplicity of petty rules and regulations. They deal rewardingly with the flock of God by following the kindly, refreshing example of Christ Jesus.—Matthew 11:28-30; Philippians 2:1-5.

Even when organizational responsibilities multiply, caring elders will never lose sight of the fact that they are dealing with people—people whom God loves. (1 Peter 5:2, 3, 7; 1 John 4:8-10) They will never be so occupied with organizational matters or procedures that they forget their prime role as shepherds, guardians, and protectors of the flock.—Proverbs 3:3; 19:22; 21:21; Isaiah 32:1, 2; Jeremiah 23:3, 4.

An intense preoccupation with schedules and figures, for example, might crowd out concern for people.

Consider a bus driver who thinks his prime duty is to stick efficiently to his schedule come what may. He is consumed with a desire to get from one end of his route to the other in exactly the time allotted.

Unfortunately, from his point of view, passengers get in the way. They are slow and disorganized and always arriving at the bus stop just as he is moving away. Instead of remembering that the whole point of his job is to serve the needs of his passengers, he sees them as a hindrance to efficiency and avoids them.

21

Care for Each Individual A heartless drive for efficiency often ignores the needs of individuals. Weaker, inefficient ones may be seen as liabilities. When this happens, terrible consequences can ensue. For example, in the ancient Greek citystate of Sparta, weak and sickly children were left exposed to die. They would not make strong, efficient soldiers to defend a strong, efficient state. “When a child was born,” says philosopher Bertrand Russell, “the father brought him before the elders of his family to be examined: if he was healthy, he was given back to the father to be reared; if not, he was thrown into a deep pit of water.”—History of Western Philosophy.

Rigidity and austerity, not happiness, marked such a ruthless state. (Compare Ecclesiastes 8:9.) No doubt the Spartan authorities felt that they had a good case on the grounds of efficiency, but their conduct was devoid of all compassion or kindness. Their way was not God’s way. (Psalm 41:1; Proverbs 14:21) In contrast, overseers in the Christian congregation remember that all of God’s sheep are precious in his eyes, and they deal rewardingly with each one of them. They care not just for the 99 who are healthy but also for the one who is weak or emotionally disturbed.—Matthew 18:12-14; Acts 20:28; 1 Thessalonians 5:14, 15; 1 Peter 5:7.

Stay Close to the Flock Elders stay close to the flock under their care. Modern research into business methods, though, might suggest that for maximum efficiency a manager or an overseer should keep his distance from those he supervises. One researcher describes the different results experienced by an air force officer when he was either close to or remote from his subordinates: “When he had very close relations with [his] officers, they seemed to feel secure and they did not worry overly about the efficiency of their units. As soon as he became more reserved and role-oriented, his subcommanders began to worry whether anything had gone awry . . . and channeled their anxieties into paying more attention to their work. As a result, there was a noticeable increase in the efficiency of the base.”— Understanding Organizations.

The Christian congregation, though, is not a military organization. Christian elders who supervise the work of others model themselves after Jesus Christ. He was always close to his disciples. (Matthew 12:49, 50; John 13:34, 35) He never played on their anxieties to squeeze out extra efficiency. He built strong bonds of mutual confidence and trust between himself and his followers. Close bonds of tender affection marked his disciples.

(1 Thessalonians 2:7, 8) When such closeness exists, a happy flock, motivated fully by love of God, will respond well to direction without coercion and will do their utmost in willing service to him.—Compare Exodus 35:21.

Many scriptures highlight Christian qualities like happiness and love for the brotherhood. (Matthew 5:3-12; 1 Corinthians 13:1-13) Comparatively few highlight the need for efficiency. To be sure, there is a need for good organization. God’s people have always been organized. But think how often the writers of the psalms, for example, describe God’s servants as being happy. Psalm 119, which has much to say about Jehovah’s laws, reminders, and regulations, begins: “Happy are the ones faultless in their way, the ones walking in the law of Jehovah. Happy are those observing his reminders; with all the heart they keep searching for him.” (Psalm 119:1, 2) Can you meet the challenge to be both organized and happy? g86 1/22 4-7 Pursue Peace With Your Neighbor Pursue Peace with Your Neighbor TO PURSUE peace with others, you first need to be at peace with yourself. This is implicit in the words of Christ Jesus when he said: “You must love your neighbor as yourself.” (Matthew 22:39)

22

To love your neighbor you must love yourself. Not because you’re perfect. You know you aren’t. You have flaws, make mistakes, feel guilty. You know all of this. But you also know that you are sorry about your shortcomings, seek forgiveness for them, determine to do better, and in this way rid yourself of burdensome guilt feelings.

Out of the abundance of our heart we speak and act. (Matthew 12:34, 35) If our heart is filled with guilt and recriminations, such negative feelings will be unlovingly projected onto others. To love others you must have some feeling of self-worth, self-respect, be able to accept yourself.

Even be able to laugh at yourself. Loving yourself in this way, you have no inner turmoil to sour your relations with others. With this inner security, you do not feel threatened by others and can show kindly concern. To reach out peacefully to others, you must have peace within yourself.

In the stressful hustle and bustle of this modern world, however, internal peace is threatened, and the gentle art of being neighborly is disappearing. People face one another like turtles with heads withdrawn, peering out from the safety of their shells, afraid to stick their necks out. Relaxed friendliness has lost out to fear and loneliness. It is regrettable, but understandable, considering the perilous times in which we live.—2 Timothy 3:1-5.

Nevertheless, if a person takes the initiative to be friendly, his effort is usually met with a pleasant response.

To speak to a neighbor you pass on the sidewalk, to pause for a few words with someone working in his front yard, to chat briefly with someone as you sit on a park bench—such moments can be enjoyable interludes.

There are guidelines we can follow to make such occasions pleasurable and bring added peace to our human relationships. Consider a few of them.

What’s wrong With Getting Even? “He insulted me.”—Conneel aged 15, in prison for murder. Andrew, aged 14, who killed a teacher at a school dance, claimed to hate teachers and his parents and to be angry with girls for rejecting him. TIME magazine calls it “a deadly pattern.” An angry youth smuggles a lethal weapon into his school and opens fire on his schoolmates and teachers. Such tragic incidents have begun to seem so common in the United States that one TV news network described the trend as “an explosion of violence.”

Fortunately, school shootings are still relatively rare. Even so, the recent crimes of rage reveal just how angry some youths really are. What seems to trigger such outbursts? Some of these youths were evidently enraged at an injustice or abuse of power that they experienced at the hands of people in authority. Others were evidently angered by ongoing teasing from their peers. One 12-year-old boy who shot a classmate—and then himself—had been teased about being overweight.

Admittedly, most youths would probably never think seriously of engaging in such extreme violence. Still, fighting the feelings of hurt and pain that arise when you are a victim of racism, bullying, or cruel teasing is not easy. Reflecting back on his school days, Ben says: “I was always shorter than most of the kids my age. And because my head was clean-shaven, other kids were constantly teasing me and slapping me on my head. This made me very angry. What made matters worse is that when I went to get help from people in authority, they ignored me. That made me even angrier!” Ben adds: “The only thing that kept me from getting a gun and shooting these people was the fact that I had no access to one.”

How should you view youths who seek to hurt those who have hurt them? And what should you do if you become the victim of mistreatment yourself? In answer, consider what God’s Word has to say.

Self-Control—A Sign of Strength!

Mistreatment and injustice are hardly new. One Bible writer gave this advice: “Let anger alone and leave rage; do not show yourself heated up only to do evil.” (Psalm 37:8) Far too often, rage involves a loss of self-

23

control and is expressed without regard for the consequences. Allowing oneself to become “heated up” can result in an explosion of rage! What may result?

Consider the Bible example of Cain and Abel. “Cain grew hot with great anger” at his brother Abel. As a result, “while they were in the field Cain proceeded to assault Abel his brother and kill him.” (Genesis 4:5, 8) Another example of uncontrolled rage involved King Saul. Jealous of the military exploits of young David, he actually threw spears not only at David but also at his own son Jonathan!—1 Samuel 18:11; 19:10; 20:30-34.

True, there are times when it is right to be angry. But even then, righteous indignation can result in evil if it is not controlled. Simeon and Levi, for example, certainly had a right to be angry with Shechem when they learned that he had raped their sister Dinah. But instead of staying calm, they stirred up violent anger, as reflected in their later words: “Ought anyone to treat our sister like a prostitute?” (Genesis 34:31) And when their anger rose to a fever pitch, they “proceeded to take each one his sword and to go unsuspectedly to the city and to kill every male” living in Shechem’s village. Their rage was contagious because “the other sons of Jacob” joined in the murderous attack. (Genesis 34:25-27) Even years later, Simeon and Levi’s father, Jacob, denounced their uncontrolled anger.—Genesis 49:5-7.

From this we learn an important point: Uncontrolled anger is a sign not of strength but of weakness.

Proverbs 16:32 states: “He that is slow to anger is better than a mighty man, and he that is controlling his spirit than the one capturing a city.”

The Folly of Retaliation The Scriptures thus give this advice: “Return evil for evil to no one. . . . Do not avenge yourselves.”

(Romans 12:17, 19) Retaliation—whether it involves physical violence or just cruel words—is ungodly. At the same time, such vengeance is simply impractical and unwise. For one thing, violence usually results in more violence. (Matthew 26:52) And cruel words often beget more cruel words.

Remember, too, that anger is often unjustified. For example, can you really know that the person who offended you bore you ill will? Could it be that the person was simply being thoughtless or crude? And even if malice was involved, does the situation really make retaliating the right thing to do?

Consider the Bible’s words at Ecclesiastes 7:21, 22: “Do not give your heart to all the words that people may speak, that you may not hear your servant calling down evil upon you. For your own heart well knows even many times that you, even you, have called down evil upon others.” Or to put it in modern idiom: Stop being so critical about what others say about you. Probably you said the same thing yourself sometime. You probably criticised someone or said something that wasn’t right, so stop getting yourself all upset about some fool who is doing what you probably did yourself.

Yes, it is unpleasant to have people say bad things about you. But the Bible acknowledges that it is a fact of life. Is it not true that you have probably said things about others that would better have been left unsaid? So why should you overreact when someone says something unkind about you? Oftentimes, the best way to handle teasing is simply to ignore it.

Along the same lines, it is unwise to overreact when you feel that you have been mistreated. A teenager named David recalls what took place when he played basketball with some fellow Christians. “Someone from the other team hit me with the ball,” says David. Quickly concluding that this was a malicious act, David retaliated, throwing the ball back at the other player. “I was real mad,” admits David. But before matters deteriorated further, David prayed to Jehovah. He said to himself, ‘What am I doing, wanting to fight a Christian brother?’ Later, they apologized to each other.

In such situations it is good to remember the example of Jesus Christ. “When he was being reviled, he did not go reviling in return. When he was suffering, he did not go threatening.” (1 Peter 2:23) Or as we would say today: Jesus didn’t react when people gave him a bad time. He didn’t get nasty and respond with equal foolishness

24

Yes, when under stress, instead of reacting, pray to God and ask him to help you to maintain self-control.

He will generously “give holy spirit to those asking him.” (Luke 11:13) Instead of retaliating when someone has offended you, perhaps the thing to do is approach that person and talk about it. (Matthew 5:23, 24) Or if you are the victim of some ongoing form of serious harassment, perhaps from a school bully, do not seek an ugly confrontation. Instead, you need to take practical steps to protect yourself.

A Youth Who Put Away Rage Many youths have applied these Bible principles with good results. Catrina, for example, was given up for adoption at an early age. She says: “I had a problem with rage because I didn’t understand why my birth mother gave me up. So I would take it out on my adoptive mother. For some silly reason, I felt that if I hurt her, I was actually getting back at my birth mother in some way. So I did everything—verbal abuse, stomping, tantrums. Slamming doors was my favourite. I also used to say, ‘I hate you!’—all because I was so angry.

Looking back, I can’t believe that I did these things.”

What helped Catrina control her anger? She replies: “Reading the Bible! This is so important because Jehovah knows how we feel.” Catrina also found comfort when she and her family read Awake! articles that dealt with her particular family situation. “All of us were able to sit down together and understand one another’s feelings,” she recalls.

You too can learn to control feelings of rage. When confronted with teasing, bullying, or mistreatment, remember the words of the Bible at Psalm 4:4: “Be agitated, but do not sin.” Those words can help you to avoid giving in to destructive rage Here is a nice little summary that someone wrote, based again on what we learn from the scriptures To laugh often and much Ps.1:4...the very One sitting in the heavens will laugh. . 9 “Happy are the peaceable, since they will be called ‘sons of God.’ Matt. 5:9 (latest research indicates that a lot of health problems can be dissolved just by laughing heartily each day as much as possible To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; 29 Have you beheld a man skilful in his work? Before kings is where he will station himself; he will not station himself before commonplace men.

Prov.22;29 Many prophets and kings desired to see the things YOU are beholding but did not see them. Luke 10:24. Maintain YOUR conduct fine among the nations, that, in the thing in which they are speaking against YOU as evildoers, they may as a result of YOUR fine works of which they are eyewitnesses glorify God in the day for [his] inspection. – 1 Pet. 2:12 To earn the appreciation of honest critics My son, do not belittle [the] discipline from Jehovah, neither give out when you are corrected by him; 6 for whom Jehovah loves he disciplines 11 True, no discipline seems for the present to be joyous, but grievous; yet afterward to those who have been trained by it yields peaceable fruit, namely, righteousness Heb.12:5,6,11 Should the righteous one strike me, it would be a loving kindness and should he reprove me, it would be oil upon the head …which my head would not want to refuse. Ps. 141:5 Endure the betrayal of false friends (including unfaithful wives and husbands) Judas, one of the twelve, came and with him a great crowd with swords and clubs from the chief priests and older men of the people. And going straight up to Jesus he said: “Good day, Rabbi!” and kissed him very tenderly Matt.26:47,49 in dangers among false brothers – 2 Cor. 11:26 For De′mas has forsaken me because he loved the present system of things – 2 Tim. 4:10 To appreciate beauty For his invisible [qualities] are clearly seen from the world’s creation onward, because they are perceived by the things made, even his eternal power and Godship, so that they are inexcusable

25

(Romans 1:20) The heavens are declaring the glory of God ;And of the work of his hands the expanse is telling. Ps. 19:1 To find the best in others Honor [men] of all sorts, have love for the whole association of brothers, be in fear of God, have honor for the king. – 1 Peter 2:17 If you have to die, leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; A name is better than good oil, and the day of death than the day of one’s being born.

(Ecclesiastes 7:1) By iron, iron itself is sharpened. So one man sharpens the face of another. Prov 27:14 that you may not sorrow just as the rest also do who have no hope 1 Thess.4:13 To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. .make a test of the genuineness of YOUR love, that I am speaking. 9 For YOU know the undeserved kindness of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich he became poor for YOUR sakes, that YOU might become rich through his poverty. – 2 Cor. 8:9 18 “Look! My servant whom I chose, my beloved, whom my soul approved! I will put my spirit upon him, and what justice is he will make clear to the nations. 19 He will not wrangle, nor cry aloud, nor will anyone hear his voice in the broad ways. 20 No bruised reed will he crush, and no smoldering flaxen wick will he extinguish, until he sends out justice with success. 21 Indeed, in his name nations will hope.” Matthew 12:18 Common sense advice to save a lot of heartache and ill feeling 2

Do not hurry yourself as regards your mouth; and as for your heart, let it not be hasty to bring forth a word before the [true] God. For the [true] God is in the heavens but you are on the earth. That is why your words should prove to be few. 3 For a dream certainly comes in because of abundance of occupation, and the voice of a stupid one because of the abundance of words. 4 Whenever you vow a vow to God, do not hesitate to pay it, for there is no delight in the stupid ones. What you vow, pay. 5 Better is it that you vow not than that you vow and do not pay. 6 Do not allow your mouth to cause your flesh to sin; neither say before the angel that it was a mistake. Why should the [true] God become indignant on account of your voice and have to wreck the work of your hands? 7 For because of abundance [of occupation] there are dreams, and there are vanities and words in abundance. But fear the [true] God himself. – Eccl. 5:2-7 Or as we would say it today: Learn to control your tongue or you will make a fool of yourself. Don’t put your foot in your mouth. Show deep respect for Jehovah. Make an effort each day to live up to your dedication to him.

Personality Tune-up from the book of Ephesians As a general personality tune up, you can't go past the last few chapters in Ephesians. This part of the bible is like a summary of everything else it said about people. Their goals, human relationships, attitudes, conduct, feelings, disputes, disagreements and anything else you could think about that involves the way we feel and interact with other people and of course Jesus and Jehovah.

Eph.4 I, therefore, the prisoner in [the] Lord, entreat YOU to walk worthily of the calling with which YOU were called, 2 with complete lowliness of mind and mildness, with long-suffering, putting up with one another in love, 3 earnestly endeavoring to observe the oneness of the spirit in the uniting bond of peace in order that we should no longer be babes, tossed about as by waves and carried hither and thither by every wind of teaching by means of the trickery of men, by means of cunning in contriving error. 15 But speaking the truth let us by love grow up in all things into him who is the head, Christ. 16 From him all the body, by being harmoniously joined together and being made to cooperate through every joint that gives what is needed, according to the functioning of each respective member in due measure, makes for the growth of the body for the building up of itself in love.

17

This, therefore, I say and bear witness to in [the] Lord, that YOU no longer go on walking just as the nations also walk in the unprofitableness of their minds, 18 while they are in darkness mentally, and alienated

26

from the life that belongs to God, because of the ignorance that is in them, because of the insensibility of their hearts. 19 Having come to be past all moral sense, they gave themselves over to loose conduct to work uncleanness of every sort with greediness.

20

But YOU did not learn the Christ to be so, 21 provided, indeed, that YOU heard him and were taught by means of him, just as truth is in Jesus, 22 that YOU should put away the old personality which conforms to YOUR former course of conduct and which is being corrupted according to his deceptive desires; 23 but that YOU should be made new in the force actuating YOUR mind, 24 and should put on the new personality which was created according to God’s will in true righteousness and loyalty.

25

Wherefore, now that YOU have put away falsehood, speak truth each one of YOU with his neighbor, because we are members belonging to one another. 26 Be wrathful, and yet do not sin; let the sun not set with YOU in a provoked state, 27 neither allow place for the Devil. 28 Let the stealer steal no more, but rather let him do hard work, doing with his hands what is good work, that he may have something to distribute to someone in need. 29 Let a rotten saying not proceed out of YOUR mouth, but whatever saying is good for building up as the need may be, that it may impart what is favorable to the hearers. 30 Also, do not be grieving God’s holy spirit, with which YOU have been sealed for a day of releasing by ransom.

31

Let all malicious bitterness and anger and wrath and screaming and abusive speech be taken away from YOU along with all badness. 32 But become kind to one another, tenderly compassionate, freely forgiving one another just as God also by Christ freely forgave YOU. 5 Therefore, become imitators of God, as beloved children, 2 and go on walking in love, just as the Christ also loved YOU and delivered himself up for YOU as an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling odor.

3

Let fornication and uncleanness of every sort or greediness not even be mentioned among YOU, just as it befits holy people; 4 neither shameful conduct nor foolish talking nor obscene jesting, things which are not becoming, but rather the giving of thanks. 5 For YOU know this, recognizing it for yourselves, that no fornicator or unclean person or greedy person—which means being an idolater—has any inheritance in the kingdom of the Christ and of God. 6

Let no man deceive YOU with empty words, for because of the aforesaid things the wrath of God is coming upon the sons of disobedience. 7 Therefore do not become partakers with them; 8 for YOU were once darkness, but YOU are now light in connection with [the] Lord. Go on walking as children of light, 9 for the fruitage of the light consists of every sort of goodness and righteousness and truth. 10 Keep on making sure of what is acceptable to the Lord; 11 and quit sharing with (them) in the unfruitful works that belong to the darkness, but, rather, even be reproving [them], 12 for the things that take place in secret by them it is shameful even to relate. 13 Now all the things that are being reproved are made manifest by the light, for everything that is being made manifest is light. 14 Wherefore he says: “Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead, and the Christ will shine upon you.”

15

So keep strict watch that how YOU walk is not as unwise but as wise [persons], 16 buying out the opportune time for yourselves, because the days are wicked. 17 On this account cease becoming unreasonable, but go on perceiving what the will of Jehovah is. 18 Also, do not be getting drunk with wine, in which there is debauchery, but keep getting filled with spirit, 19 speaking to yourselves with psalms and praises to God and spiritual songs, singing and accompanying yourselves with music in YOUR hearts to Jehovah, 20 in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ giving thanks always for all things to our God and Father.

21

Be in subjection to one another in fear of Christ. 22 Let wives be in subjection to their husbands as to the Lord, 23 because a husband is head of his wife as the Christ also is head of the congregation, he being a savior of [this] body. 24 In fact, as the congregation is in subjection to the Christ, so let wives also be to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, continue loving YOUR wives, just as the Christ also loved the congregation and delivered up himself for it, 26 that he might sanctify it, cleansing it with the bath of water by

means of the word, 27 that he might present the congregation to himself in its splendor, not having a spot or a wrinkle or any of such things, but that it should be holy and without blemish.

27

28

In this way husbands ought to be loving their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself, 29 for no man ever hated his own flesh; but he feeds and cherishes it, as the Christ also does the congregation, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave [his] father and [his] mother and he will stick to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” 32 This sacred secret is great. Now I am speaking with respect to Christ and the congregation. 33 Nevertheless, also, let each one of YOU individually so love his wife as he does himself; on the other hand, the wife should have deep respect for her husband.

6 Children, be obedient to YOUR parents in union with [the] Lord, for this is righteous: 2 “Honor your father and [your] mother”; which is the first command with a promise: 3 “That it may go well with you and you may endure a long time on the earth.” 4 And YOU, fathers, do not be irritating YOUR children, but go on bringing them up in the discipline and mental-regulating of Jehovah.

5

YOU slaves, be obedient to those who are [YOUR] masters in a fleshly sense, with fear and trembling in the sincerity of YOUR hearts, as to the Christ, 6 not by way of eye-service as men pleasers, but as Christ’s slaves, doing the will of God whole-souled. 7 Be slaves with good inclinations, as to Jehovah, and not to men, 8 for YOU know that each one, whatever good he may do, will receive this back from Jehovah, whether he be slave or freeman. 9 Also, YOU masters, keep doing the same things to them, letting up on the threatening, for YOU know that the Master of both them and YOU is in the heavens, and there is no partiality with him.

10

Finally, go on acquiring power in [the] Lord and in the mightiness of his strength. 11 Put on the complete suit of armor from God that YOU may be able to stand firm against the machinations of the Devil; 12 because we have a wrestling, not against blood and flesh, but against the governments, against the authorities, against the world rulers of this darkness, against the wicked spirit forces in the heavenly places. 13 On this account take up the complete suit of armor from God, that YOU may be able to resist in the wicked day and, after YOU have done all things thoroughly, to stand firm.

14

Stand firm, therefore, with YOUR loins girded about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness, 15 and with YOUR feet shod with the equipment of the good news of peace. 16 Above all things, take up the large shield of faith, with which YOU will be able to quench all the wicked one’s burning missiles.

17 Also, accept the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the spirit, that is, God’s word, 18 while with every form of prayer and supplication YOU carry on prayer on every occasion in spirit. And to that end keep awake with all constancy and with supplication in behalf of all the holy ones, 19 also for me, that ability to speak may be given me with the opening of my mouth, with freeness of speech to make known the sacred secret of the good news, 20 for which I am acting as an ambassador in chains; that I may speak in connection with it with boldness as I ought to speak.

21

Now in order that YOU may also know about my affairs, as to how I am doing, Tych′i·cus, a beloved brother and faithful minister in (the) Lord, will make everything known to YOU. 22 I am sending him to YOU for this very purpose, that YOU may know of the things having to do with us and that he may comfort YOUR hearts.

23

May the brothers have peace and love with faith from God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. 24 May the undeserved kindness be with all those loving our Lord Jesus Christ in incorruptness.

28

The end of this article.

The beginning of a new life full of hope Be determined, never to allow negative thoughts or anything that anyone else says or does to us destroy our happiness. Remember, nothing, not even death, can separate us from God’s love and the hope of the new world, so Satan cannot use these things as a lever to make us unhappy, discouraged or depressed.

When you learn the secret of controlling your thoughts, you will breeze through life, feeling enthusiastic and inspiring all who come in contact with you. You will be a blessing to yourself, and more importantly a credit to yourself and your maker.

Just so that you don’t have to read this long screed every time you want a reminder, we have included a page at the end that you can cut off or photocopy and either carry it with you or stick on your fridge.

To be very brief, just write out this little statement and carry it with you in your wallet or purse, and take a look at it anytime you find yourself falling back into your old ways: Don’t Worry. DO something about it.

If you can't DO anything about it.

Why worry??

Or to quote Jesus: “If, therefore, YOU cannot do the least thing, why be anxious about the remaining things?”

– Luke 12:26 -

29

Survival Pack This survival pack is for you to use when disturbing thoughts come into your mind. Carry it with you and read through it each time you need it.

1. Pray for help. (Philippians 4:6-7) Do not be anxious over anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication along with thanksgiving let YOUR petitions be made known to God; and the peace of God that excels all thought will guard YOUR hearts and YOUR mental powers by means of Christ Jesus.

2. Identify the thought that is causing you distress. (Psalm 94:19) When my disquieting thoughts became many inside of me, your own consolations began to fondle my soul.

3. Make a conscious effort to replace those negative thoughts with up-building ones. (Philippians 4:8-13) Finally, brothers, whatever things are true, whatever things are of serious concern, whatever things are righteous, whatever things are chaste, whatever things are lovable, whatever things are well spoken of, whatever virtue there is and whatever praiseworthy thing there is, continue considering these things. (Psalm 19:14) Let the sayings of my mouth and the meditation of my heart become pleasurable before you, O Jehovah my Rock and my Redeemer.

4. If disturbing thoughts return, keep trying to replace them. (Proverbs 2:11) thinking ability itself will keep guard over you, discernment itself will safeguard you, (Proverbs 5:2) …so as to guard thinking abilities; 5. If the pressure keeps building up, use the pressure valve. (James 5:14) Is there anyone sick among YOU? Let him call the older men of the congregation to [him], and let them pray over him, greasing [him] with oil in the name of Jehovah.

6. If you’ve done something very wrong you may need to see the elders to get them to help you sort things out with Jehovah. Remember, humility and repentance are qualities that Jehovah loves and he will always respond positively to you showing them.

(Isaiah 1:18) “Come, now, YOU people, and let us set matters straight between us,” says Jehovah. “Though the sins of YOU people should prove to be as Scarlet, they will be made white just like snow; though they should be red like crimson cloth, they will become even like wool.

(Hebrews 10:22) let us approach with true hearts in the full assurance of faith, having had our hearts sprinkled from a wicked conscience and our bodies bathed with clean water.

7. Once the elders have helped you sort it out, imagine that all your problems have been stuffed into a big box and burned. There’s no need for you to carry them around any longer because your big brothers (the elders) have asked Jehovah to take them away from you. So if you keep wanting to carry them you’re just being silly. So just forget the past as much as you possibly can and get on with life 8. Just start smiling again and do your best for Jehovah and your friends in the congregation James 5:13 Is there anyone suffering evil among YOU? Let him carry on prayer. Is there anyone in good spirits? Let him sing psalms. 14 Is there anyone sick among YOU? Let him call the older men of the congregation to [him], and let them pray over him, greasing [him] with oil in the name of Jehovah. 15 And the prayer of faith will make the indisposed one well, and Jehovah will raise him up. Also, if he has committed sins, it will be forgiven him – notice, three times for emphasis!!!

For a good all round ‘tonic’, read again “Be happy and organized WT ’93 April 1 pp 28-31-which is a part of this document. This is a standard for all of us including elders but we don’t always do what the faithful slave suggests, because we are all imperfect so we constantly have to put up with it when faced with human imperfection.