Wrestling with the Virgin Birth (Matthew 1:18-25)

I have never been a fan of professional wrestling, but my little brother was. So, once I got my driver’s license, he begged me to take him to watch it live at the Los Angeles Sports Arena. It was an incredible production—lights, music, and pyrotechnics. The crowd was fully engaged in cheering or booing the contestants. The intensity kept building until the final match in a steel cage. Chairs were thrown and someone ended up bloody, but everyone went home happy.

Call me a skeptic, but it all seemed phony to me. With the way that those guys pummeled each other, they should have been hospitalized for weeks. But they were back in the ring a few days later in some other town, putting on another carefully choreographed show with all the hype. A real fight would be less entertaining and a lot more painful.

There can be a lot of hype in Christianity too. People try to present Bible stories in simplistic, entertaining ways. But when they do, those narratives begin to feel more like cartoons than reality. Think of the unending stream of paintings, songs, books, and movies about the birth of Christ. Many of them contribute to a distorted view of Christianity that is easily dismissed by skeptics.

Though they are brief, the biblical accounts of Christ’s birth are challenging. They do not sanitize the story. They reveal emotional pain and struggle. They also raise hard questions when we approach them as real events. They demand careful consideration and deep reflection.

As we began our study of Matthew’s Gospel, we saw that he does not gloss over the messy parts in the genealogy of Jesus. He mentions four women: Tamar, Rahab, Ruth, and Bathsheba. When you read the Old Testament accounts of their lives, you find incest, prostitution, idolatry, and adultery. Yet in his grace, God worked in and through them. They are all ancestors of the Messiah.

Matthew shows a similar honesty in his telling of the Virgin Birth. He presents it from Joseph’s perspective. Though Joseph is just a small-town carpenter, he is descended from the Davidic kings. So, for Jesus to have a legal claim to the throne, Joseph must accept him as his son. But Joseph wrestles with the idea of the Virgin Birth. In Matthew 1:1825, we find that he faces four conflicts.

These are conflicts that we continue to face today. We are not forced to wrestle with them in the way that Joseph did. But they are still challenging questions for us as we decide how to respond to the Virgin Birth of Jesus.

Shame vs. Mercy

Marriage proposals are the pinnacle of romance in our culture. Couples work hard to make a good impression on one another throughout their dating relationship, but nothing compares to that moment. A man purchases an expensive ring and takes his potential bride to a spot with a beautiful view. He gets down on one knee and pops the question. If she agrees, they seem to float around on clouds for a while. But sooner or later they come back to earth.

Once they are no longer so concerned about impressing one another, they begin to see what their relationship will really be like. At least, that has been my experience in doing premarital counseling with engaged couples. Will they humbly defer to one another? Will they show patience, grace, and forgiveness? Or will one of them turn out to be demanding, controlling, or even vindictive when things do not go their way?

When Joseph learned that Mary was pregnant, he faced this conflict to the extreme. Would he respond by publicly shaming her? Many would consider that a righteous response. But is it the kind of righteousness that God seeks? Does it align with his character? God’s righteousness is characterized by mercy. Matthew 1:18-19 tells us,

Now the birth of Jesus Christ took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit. And her husband Joseph, being a just man and unwilling to put her to shame, resolved to divorce her quietly.

The differences between ancient betrothal and modern engagement amplified Joseph’s conflict. Betrothal was often approached as a contract made by families. It was not necessarily romantic at all. The man and woman might not even know each other. They might also be relatively young, probably in their teens. Once the agreement was made, they were technically married, though they would not come together until their wedding feast. Even though the marriage was not yet consummated, sexual infidelity was both immoral and a breach of contract. The Old Testament allowed for the death penalty in such cases (Deut 22:20-21). Furthermore, the betrothal could not simply be broken off, a certificate of divorce would be needed.

Now we do not know how Joseph learns about Mary’s pregnancy. Luke’s Gospel tells us that after the angel appears to her, she leaves to visit her elderly relative Elizabeth who is six months pregnant with the baby who will become known as John the Baptist. Mary stays three months, probably until John is born. Does Joseph see her when she returns? Does he hear rumors? Does she come to him and explain? Matthew indicates that her pregnancy is from the Holy Spirit, but we are not told whether Mary has a chance to tell Joseph that.

However it transpires, Joseph faces this internal conflict, and he decides that he will not publicly shame her in any way. He shows mercy by deciding to divorce her quietly. You might wonder why he would not go ahead and marry her. That would be even more gracious. I will return to that question in a moment. For now, notice that Matthew refers to him as a just or a righteous man. He does not ignore what he perceives as sin, but neither does he heap disgrace on Mary. Joseph’s righteous character leads him to respond with mercy.

Mercy is what prompted God to send his Son to earth through the Virgin Birth. We also see the same characteristic later in Jesus. John 8 tells us that the Pharisees dragged a woman caught in the act of adultery before him to ask whether she should be stoned to death. Their approach to righteousness was all about shame and control. But Jesus said, “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her” (v. 7). Then verses 10-11 tell us,

Jesus stood up and said to her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more.”

How do you respond to the conflict between shame and mercy when you perceive sin in other people? There is a radical difference between seeking righteousness through shame and seeking righteousness through mercy. On which side do you land?

Fear vs. Faith

It seems to me that the hardest battles do not take place in a war zone or a sports arena. They happen in your bed when you lay your head down on your pillow for the night. We replay our arguments, rethink our decisions, and rehearse our fears. So, I have always been amazed at David’s words in Psalm 3:5. He was fleeing from Jerusalem because his son, Absalom, orchestrated a coup, and he said, “I lay down and slept; I woke again, for the LORD sustained me.” That requires great faith!

The next conflict that we all experience is between giving way to fear and placing our faith in God’s salvation. Even though Joseph had made up his mind, he continues to wrestle with this conflict in relation to the Virgin Birth. Matthew 1:20-21 tells us,

But as he considered these things, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, "Joseph, son of David, do not fear to take Mary as your wife, for that which is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins."

The appearance of one or more angelic beings to someone is not a common occurrence. In the biblical descriptions of such encounters, people are terrified. Angels must calm their fear to get them to hear the message. But in this case, Joseph’s fear is about taking Mary as his wife. He must have been questioning his decision. What did he fear? I can think of two possibilities.

First, he may have feared that marrying her would displease God. If she had conceived this child through immoral behavior, would marrying her somehow affirm her sin? There are no biblical grounds for thinking that way, but scholars tell us that some rabbis taught that view. They would say that Joseph was obligated to divorce Mary.

The story of the Prophet Hosea would seem to refute the idea that it would be sinful to proceed with the marriage. The Lord called Hosea to marry a prostitute. But here the angel makes it clear to Joseph that Mary had not committed any sin. Her child was miraculously created in her womb by the Holy Spirit. There was no sin in marrying her.

Another possibility is that Joseph feared what people would think. We don’t know whether Mary talked openly about the miracle she had experienced, but if she did, most would doubt her story. So, if Joseph married her, they would conclude that he was the father and was thus guilty of having sex before marriage. Or they might say that someone else was the father, and Joseph was too weak to stand up for himself. Either way, Joseph’s reputation would suffer.

The angel responds to this concern by describing this child’s mission. He says that Joseph should call his name Jesus, which comes from the Hebrew word for salvation. Naming him would demonstrate that Joseph claims this boy as his son, but it was also an act of faith. People might look down on Joseph and Mary as sinners, but they needed to trust that this boy would save God’s people from their sins.

On this side of the cross with our knowledge of New Testament teaching, the angel’s statement makes perfect sense. We know that Jesus offered his life as a sacrifice on the cross to atone for our sins. But it is hard to say how Joseph would have understood that statement. Every Jew knew that the sins of previous generations led to the forfeit of the national blessing that God had originally promised to Abraham. So, Joseph probably took the angel’s statement to mean that Jesus would be the descendant of David who would lead the nation to obey.

But Joseph might have been aware of Isaiah 53:5-6. There the prophet wrote,

But he was piercedfor our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his wounds we are healed. All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned-every one--to his own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all.

The Virgin Birth was necessary for Jesus to accomplish his saving work. A normal man could never atone for the sins of other men. We need a Savior who is able to bridge the gap and serve as a mediator between God and humanity. So, he must be a man, but he must also be unstained by Adam’s sin. Only the Virgin Birth could satisfy these requirements.

Where do you land in this conflict? Are you controlled by fear or by faith? Do you worry what people will think if you believe in the Virgin Birth? Are you trusting in the saving work of Christ?

Perception vs. Revelation

There is an old story about a group of blind men who encounter an elephant for the first time. One of them feels its trunk and says that it is a snake. Another touches its ear and thinks that it is a fan, and so they continue. Its leg is thought to be a tree, its tail a rope, its side a wall, and its tusk a spear. It shows that our individual perceptions are limited and incomplete.

The typical lesson drawn from the story is that even when we disagree, we can both be right. Others apply it by asserting that we will only arrive at the truth if we share our knowledge. But what if someone is present who sees the whole elephant and can explain how all the parts are connected? Even better, what if the Creator of the elephant explains it? Would we ignore him and insist that only our perceptions are true?

The Virgin Birth forces us to wrestle with this conflict between perception and revelation. A young woman becomes pregnant and insists that she has never had sex with anyone. Human perception says, “That is impossible. That is not how it works.” She claims that an angel appeared to her and told her that a child would be created in her womb by the Holy Spirit, and that he is the Son of God. Human perception says, “I have never seen an angel, so they must not exist.” But if you allow for any possibility that God exists, then you must also be open to the possibility that he can intervene in the natural world in supernatural ways.

I suspect that Joseph’s reliance upon perception was a major factor in his initial plan to divorce Mary. So, the Lord sends him a revelation to correct him. But Matthew presents another revelation from God as additional confirmation. In Matthew 1:22-23, he writes,

All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had spoken by the prophet: “Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and they shall call his name Immanuel” (which means, God with us).

Those words are quoted from Isaiah 7:14, where the prophet was delivering a message to Ahaz, the king of Judah. It was over 700 years before Joseph and Mary’s time, and Jerusalem was under siege from its northern neighbors. Isaiah revealed that the Lord would protect the nation. He even invited Ahaz to request a sign from God as confirmation. But Ahaz refused. Based upon his perception of the situation, he planned to form an alliance with the Assyrian Empire, an alliance that would lead God’s people into idolatry. Isaiah gave him a sign anyway—a child would be born to a virgin.

As Isaiah described this sign, it seems that there must have been an initial fulfillment at that time. God promised that the siege would be over before the child was old enough to refuse evil and choose good. Chapter 8 tells us that Isaiah has another son through natural means. He says that the attacking army will be defeated before the child is old enough to cry mother or father. So, the idea of God’s presence with Judah would be confirmed.

But Isaiah does not stop with that immediate fulfillment. In chapter 9, he looks forward to a child who will reign on David’s throne and will bring unending peace. He will restore creation itself to the perfect harmony that it had before the fall of man. In verse 6, he declared,

For to us a child is born, to us a son is given; and the government shall be upon his shoulder, and his name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

So, when Matthew says that the Virgin Birth fulfills the Immanuel prophecy, he links Jesus to these expectations. From our standpoint today, human perception alone suggests that it is not true. The world has not been transformed to experience that kind of peace. But God has revealed that Jesus is not through. He will return and reign.

Are you trusting his revelation?

Selfishness vs. Service

Nothing can really prepare you for the demands of parenthood. You can learn how to change a diaper. You can study up on all the expert recommendations. You can buy all the latest gear. But none of that helps when the baby cries all night long and you find yourself exhausted.

Every parent faces the conflict of selfishness versus service. But Mary and Joseph wrestled with it at a different level. They probably anticipated that they would have children at some point, but God shortens their timeline. By the time Joseph learns of her pregnancy, Mary is already at least three months along. But Matthew 1:24-25 tells us,

When Joseph woke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him: he took his wife, but knew her not until she had given birth to a son. And he called his name Jesus.

Joseph obeys the Lord. He accepts whatever this choice will do to his reputation. He takes Mary as his wife but maintains her virginity. They must have been looking forward to having a physical relationship. That is one of the blessings of God’s design for married life. But instead of pursuing their own desires, they humbly serve the Lord and accept his plan. That does not mean that they could never have a physical relationship. Matthew 13:55-56 mentions that Jesus had four brothers and some sisters. So, the Lord blessed Mary and Joseph with several children who were not supernaturally conceived.

This heart of service is demonstrated in an even greater way by Jesus through his participation with the Virgin Birth. Paul explains this idea in Philippians 2:5-7. He wrote,

Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking theform of a servant, being born in the likeness of men.

Prior to Mary’s supernatural conception, the Son of God lived in glory. John 17:5 tells us that Jesus wanted to return to the glory that he shared with the Father before the world existed. John 1 calls him the Word and says that he was in the beginning with God and all things were made through him. In Colossians 1:17, Paul says that in him all things hold together.

We cannot grasp what a humbling step it was for him to become part of his creation, to become flesh in the womb of a young woman. He had to rely upon her for everything. She was the source of the oxygen and nutrients that his body needed to develop and grow. After he was born, she nursed him. She and Joseph clothed him, cared for him, and taught him.

So, Mary, Joseph, and Jesus all set an example for us of humble, obedient service. As Paul says in Philippians 2:5, we need to have this mind set not merely in being a parent. God wants us to relate to everyone with humility. He calls us to deny our selfish impulses and to live for his glory.

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Don’t settle for a cartoonish view of the Virgin Birth. Wrestle with it as a real event. Let it lead you to choose mercy over shame, faith over fear, revelation over perception, and service over selfishness.

If you have never done so, I encourage you to start believing in Jesus. He is our Savior, God with us. If you want to learn more about him and his entrance into this world, the first chapter of John’s Gospel gives us a different perspective from what we find in Matthew and Luke.

These conflicts do not end when you start believing. They are part of life in a fallen world. We are always wrestling. Have you slid over to the wrong side on any of them? Thankfully, the Lord is merciful and gracious. With the Spirit’s help, we can change and grow.

May we grow to reflect the character of Christ!