Good Grief (Matthew 5:4)

I have had a deep love of books for many years, but I have not always felt that way. In my first two years of high school, I was far more interested in math and science than in literature. I had a terrible time getting through novels like Moby Dick that were assigned to us. I confess that on more than one occasion, I resorted to using Cliffs Notes.

If you’re not familiar with them, Cliffs Notes are study guides that give brief summaries of books. They help you get the point, pass the test, and move on. It is efficient. But since I skipped over reading the books, my teachers would have called it cheating. They wanted us to have the experience of making our way page by page through the whole story.

It would be nice to have Cliffs Notes to skip over some of life’s hard lessons. Around the same time that I was using that poor strategy in school my grandfather’s health began to fail. My grandparents lived just a few miles away. When we were young, my brother and I would spend every weekday at their house all summer. So, we were very close.

My grandfather had problems with blood clots in his legs. He became less and less mobile, and that just made the condition worse. He developed sores on one of his feet that eventually became gangrenous. He was hospitalized, and doctors determined that the only option was to amputate his leg. But he never recovered.

That was the first time that I lost someone with whom I was close. There was a big funeral with family and friends. It was painful. But I see now that the Lord used that experience to prepare my heart to hear the gospel when a friend invited me to his church a few weeks later. As hard as it is to experience grief, it was part of God’s path to lead me to his blessing. I’m thankful that I was not able to just skip over it and move on.

That experience shapes my understanding of Jesus’ second beatitude. Matthew 5:4 tells us that he said, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.”

But when I read how people explain this verse, it feels a lot like Cliffs Notes. They typically say that to receive the comfort of God’s forgiveness you need to mourn over the sins you have committed. I think their interpretation is on the right track. But is that all that Jesus had in mind? He could have been more exact and direct, but he chose to speak in broader terms. Perhaps he didn’t want us to just get the point and move on.

When you take other biblical teaching into account, you find that there is a whole story here about coming to see the goodness of grief. We are cheating ourselves if we ignore it. So, to unpack this beatitude we will consider who the blessed are, what the blessing is, the reason for it, and the response to it.

The Blessed: Those Who Mourn

When I was in college I worked for a painter, and on a few occasions we painted the interior of homes that were around a hundred years old. Their walls were made of wood lath covered in plaster. They were beautiful, but they tended to develop cracks. It is tempting to just smear some spackling compound along the line and move on. But before long it will show up again.

The only solution is to scrape out all the loose plaster. But once you start, you never know how far it will go. Some cracks are caused by water damage hidden on the back side of the plaster. At first, chips and flakes come loose then big chunks. Ultimately, the whole wall might come down in a pile of rubble.

When we lose someone that we love, it is like one of those cracks. A lot of people smear over it in an attempt to minimize the grief. Some claim that death is a natural part of the circle of life. Others resort to sentimental ideas like, “They will always be in our hearts.” The spiritual approach is to say, “They are in a better place now.” But Jesus said, “Blessed are those who mourn.”

What does he have in mind when he speaks of mourning? You could argue that everyone mourns. Is he promising his blessing to everyone? I don’t think so. When we survey the Bible, we find that there are layers to mourning. Those cracks in our finely painted walls need to be probed. Biblical mourning recognizes the source of the damage.

First, the Bible shows us that we should not avoid mourning when we lose someone that we love. The heroes of the faith openly express grief. Genesis 23:2 tells us that Abraham mourns and weeps when he loses his wife, Sarah. When David learns that King Saul and his son Jonathan have been killed in battle, 2 Samuel 1:11-12 tells us that he and others tear their clothes, mourn, weep, and fast.

The most powerful example of grief is when Jesus weeps over the death of his friend Lazarus. Lazarus has two sisters, Mary and Martha. John 11:33-36 speaks of Mary and tells us,

When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in his spirit and greatly troubled. And he said, "Where have you laid him?" They said to him, "Lord, come and see." Jesus wept. So the Jews said, "See how he loved him!"

Lazarus has already been dead for four days. But a few minutes later, Jesus brings him back to life. So, why does he weep? Is he just putting on a show, conforming to cultural expectations? No, according to John he is genuinely grieved by the situation. So, he feels something more than personal loss. Perhaps the best explanation is that he mourns the existence of suffering and death that are part of life in a fallen world.

This is the next level in understanding what it means to mourn. We were never supposed to die or to experience the pain of loss. God created human beings to live forever, but Genesis 2:16-17 tells us that he warned Adam,

And the LORD God commanded the man, saying, "You may surely eat of every tree of the garden, but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die."

We live in a fallen world because Adam and Eve disobeyed God. So, every time we lose someone, it reminds us that life should not be this way. There is a rottenness behind those cracks. It’s all crumbling. You might feel angry and bitter about it. It doesn’t seem fair that we experience all this pain because of their sin. But there is one more layer to uncover. In Romans 5:12, Paul explains, “Therefore, just as sin came into the world through one man, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men because all sinned."

We cannot blame death on Adam alone.We are all guilty of sinning against God. So, James 4:8-9 tells us,

Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom.

All our walls must come down. We must recognize the connection between death, our fallen world, and our personal sinfulness. Only this type of mourning will lead to blessing. And what is the blessing?

The Blessing: They Shall Be Comforted

We seek comfort in strange ways. Babies have their security blankets, and some of us never outgrow that. We try to forget the world by staying in bed and hiding under the covers. Others have their comfort foods. They seek relief in familiar tastes from childhood. Of course, some use alcohol or other substances to numb their emotions.

None of those quick fixes lead to true lasting comfort. They are temporary at best. In fact, those sorts of momentary escapes can hinder us from ever mourning on the level that we just considered. Again, Jesus said, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.”

What form of comfort does he have in mind? The biggest clue is his use of the future tense. This blessing is more than an internal feeling of peace. Comfort is a central theme in Messianic prophecy.

Isaiah 61:2-3 predicts that the anointed one will come,

to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all who mourn; to grant to those who mourn in Zion— to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit; that they may be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he may be glorified.

What comfort will the Messiah bring? What could provide this sense of joy and stability? Earlier in Isaiah, the prophet speaks of a great celebration that will accompany a fundamental change in our fallen world. Isaiah 25:6-8 says,

On this mountain the LORD of hosts will make for all peoples a feast of rich food, a feast of well-aged wine, of rich food full of marrow, of aged wine well refined. And he will swallow up on this mountain the covering that is cast over all peoples, the veil that is spread over all nations. He will swallow up death forever; and the Lord GOD will wipe away tears from all faces, and the reproach of his people he will take away from all the earth, for the LORD has spoken.

The comfort is not found in the food, though I am sure that it will be amazing. The blessing is that death will be eliminated forever. There will no longer be any reason to mourn. The reproach of sin will be taken away.It will be an entirely different existence from what we experience now.

Isaiah’s words date back to 700 years before the time of Christ. So, when Jesus spoke of comfort for those who mourn, some of his followers probably thought that the time had finally arrived. They did not understand that to bring about this blessing, Jesus would need to die and rise from the dead. In fact, its full realization is connected with his return. Revelation 21:4 reiterates this hope and links it to the culmination of end times events in a new heaven and earth.

So, we are still waiting, but this future comfort has powerful implications here and now. In 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18, Paul explains,

But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have fallen asleep. For this we declare to you by a word from the Lord, that we who are alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord himself will descend from heaven with a cry of command, with the voice of an archangel, and with the sound of the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are alive, who are left, will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we will always be with the Lord. Therefore encourage one another with these words.

The grief of believers should be different from that of the unbelieving world. We understand that our fellow believers will be raised from the dead and that we will all be reunited to live forever in the presence of the Lord. So, when Paul speaks of encouraging one another, he uses the same word that is translated as comfort in Matthew 5:4. The truest comfort and encouragement that we can give is to point someone to the hope of eternal life.

How is this blessing possible? Paul mentioned it in 1 Thessalonians 4:14, but we need to understand the connection.

The Reason: Jesus Died and Rose Again

The Greek word that we translate as comfort or encourage has an interesting etymology. It combines the verb “call” with a preposition that means “alongside.” So, you might picture someone hospitalized with some sickness. A friend comes alongside them to speak words of comfort and encouragement. They might even bring flowers or balloons.

Jesus did something far more radical to bring us comfort. He did not just come for a visit. He became like us. He took on our disease and experienced our suffering. He died in our place and rose again, so that we can be cured.

We have seen that death is a consequence of sin. But the author of the New Testament letter to the Hebrews gives us additional perspective. In Hebrews 2:14-15, he describes Christ’s sacrifice by saying,

Since therefore the children share in flesh and blood, he himself likewise partook of the same things, that through death he might destroy the one who has the power of death, that is, the devil, and deliver all those who through fear of death were subject to lifelong slavery.

Hebrews 1 describes Jesus as the Son of God, the radiance of his glory, the one who upholds the universe. But he took on flesh and blood. He entered our world as a child born of a virgin. He went behind enemy lines into Satan’s domain. He experienced temptation, loss, betrayal, hostility, and humiliation. He suffered weakness, pain, and death.

He knows the full depth of our grief, but he does not leave us in darkness. He came on a rescue mission to free us from Satan’s power. Those who believe are linked with him in his death. In Romans 6:6-7, Paul explains,

We know that our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin. For one who has died has been set free from sin.

His death pays the penalty for all our sins. It satisfies the wrath of God (Rom 5:9). But there is more. He conquered death itself, and we are tied to him in his resurrection. Paul continues in Romans 6:8-10 by saying,

Now if we have died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him. We know that Christ, being raised from the dead, will never die again; death no longer has dominion over him. For the death he died he died to sin, once for all, but the life he lives he lives to God.

Being united with Christ in his resurrection changes our future. We have hope. As we saw in 1 Thessalonians 4, it means that we will be resurrected to enjoy eternal life. But Paul’s point here is that it also changes our lives here and now.

Apart from Christ, we are held captive by Satan to do his will. But in Christ, we are set free. He enables us to resist temptation. It is not easy, but because his resurrection power is at work within us, we can choose to live for God.

So, those who genuinely mourn their spiritual condition receive the blessing of eternal comfort in the presence of God because Jesus died and rose again. How should we respond to that incredibly good news?

The Response: Repentance and Faith

We all learn the basic idea of connecting with power from a very early age. You have a lamp, an appliance, or some other device, but it is lifeless on its own. It needs to be plugged in. One prong is positive and the other is negative, but both are needed for the electricity to flow. Similarly, to connect with the power of Christ’s death and resurrection, we must respond both negatively in repentance and positively in faith.

The negative response flows from our grief. As we considered previously, the blessing of God’s comfort is not automatically poured out on all who mourn. True mourning sees the sin behind the pain, and that realization should lead us to turn away from sin in repentance.

Paul explains this dynamic in 2 Corinthians 7. He had written strong words to the church in Corinth about their acceptance of overt, persistent sinful behavior. In 1 Corinthians 5, he confronted them about a man in their congregation who was living in an immoral relationship with his stepmother. They were sinning by tolerating such behavior. But they heeded Paul’s words, and he describes their response in 2 Corinthians 7:9-11 by saying,

As it is, I rejoice, not because you were grieved, but because you were grieved into repenting. For you felt a godly grief, so that you suffered no loss through us. For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death. For see what earnestness this godly grief has produced in you, but also what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what longing, what zeal, what punishment! At every point you have proved yourselves innocent in the matter.

Many people regret sinful things that they have done, but they never repent. That is worldly grief. Godly grief, on the other hand, leads to a repentance marked by the qualities that Paul mentions. It is not indifferent, but eager to do whatever can be done to make things right. There is a sense of anger at ourselves over what we have done. It is grounded in a fear of the Lord and in a longing to do what is right. It is carried out with zeal. In the case of the church in Corinth, that meant taking disciplinary action against their sinful brother.

The Christian life begins with repentance, but it does not stop after we are saved. Sometimes there is sin in our life that we do not recognize. As we learn and grow spiritually, our eyes are opened to it. There are also times when despite our best efforts we fall back into the sin that we have already turned away from. In both cases, we should mourn and repent. True mourning over sin leads to continuing repentance.

But biblical repentance is always joined to the positive response of faith. We hear this parallel in the preaching of Jesus. Mark 1:15-16 tells us,

Now after John was arrested, Jesus came into Galilee, proclaiming the gospel of God, and saying, "The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand; repent and believe in the gospel."

As repentance turns away from sin, faith lays hold of the solution. It trusts in Christ’s promise of eternal comfort. It believes that he died and rose again. This was the message that Jesus proclaimed to Lazarus’s sister, Martha. John 11:25-26 tells us,

Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die. Do you believe this?"

Martha expressed her belief that he is “the Christ, the Son of God.” She was confident that Jesus had the power to heal the sick but not necessarily to raise the dead. She certainly did not understand the full scope of what he was saying. Faith in Jesus connects us to the one who is the source of true life now and for eternity. We must repent and believe.

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Who is blessed? Those who mourn. What is the blessing? They shall be comforted. Why? Because Jesus died and rose again. How should we respond? With repentance and faith.

Has the grief of life in this world led you to him? If not, I encourage you to repent and believe in Christ. He is the resurrection and the life. If you want to learn more about the hope that he gives, the first chapter of 1 Peter would be a good place to read.

If you believe in him, do you need to renew your repentance? Do you need to refocus your hope? We keep growing as we repent and believe. Do you know someone who is grieving? Share the hope.

May we all experience the fullness of God’s comfort!