EST. 2014
ZEN V Celebrating 50 years of the arts in BSAK
Cover artwork by Laila Al Naqbi Artwork by Andrew Jones
BSAK LIFERS
For 14 years of my life, it has provided me with a safe space to express myself and grow as a person. BSAK has given me memories that will be with me forever no matter where I end up. Without BSAK I would not be the person I am today. - Khalid Al Ketbi I am overwhelmingly grateful for all BSAK has given me. The lessons I have learnt and friendships and memories I have made will forever be engraved in my heart. - Thea Abou Jawad
Being here since the age of four BSAK has been such a huge part of my life, shaping me into the person I am today, developing memories and friendships that I will always retain. Ever since my first day of school in the blue and white striped dress BSAK has always encouraged and taught me to be myself, to aim high. And yet when that isn't the case, that it is okay to not archive and isn’t the end of the world. BSAKs community being full of people who will support you. Thank you for the memories BSAK. - Elizabeth Bett
I’m not one for cliches but BSAK is like a home to me, I feel so comfortable here. Memories I’ll have of BSAK when I leave which will stay with me for a lifetime, such as the old primary; I wish the kids now could have experienced it. - Ghada Al Khaznadar
Artwork by Jasmine Laws
There is something so amiss about emotion. We, so often, find we are at the mercy of our own feelings - usurped by something outside of our control; simply a piece of driftwood riding the current of our consciousness. Dragged in the tides like floating flotsam, obeying the pulling gravity of the moon, thus affected by the external factors that impact our thought processes, manipulating our emotions. The shifting ebb and flow of water marking the predictable, interchangeable nature to our feelings. It questions the extent to which we can claim we are our own masters. Is it delusion to presume emotions can be controlled like the turning off of a tap, to block the flow of water? Or does the blockaded water just churn and toil, increasing its pressure on the metal and testing its durability? Undeniably, emotions cannot be underestimated. We can not control, we can only explore, accept and learn to express.
Artwork by Imi Hughes
L a c h e s i s m
Artwork by Laila Al Naqbi
Lachesism
A Side
B Side
Photography by Nyarko Obed-Arthur
Pillow Talk III people seem only to be able to take me in small doses, a bite-sized cocktail of passive misanthropy and malignant mercenary misery, loating atop their chalice like frogspawn, i multiply like goosebumps on adolescent forearms that bare the wint’ry frost of adulthood upon gazing into the eyes of the one they presume to love. i tangle myself up like heated tongues and string myself like slowing saliva, dangling on the tightrope of existence and fading into obscurity. i find myself a portrait, Dorian Grey look-alike, vain with self-loathing and drunk on the vapour of false self-awareness. Artwork by Jasmine Laws
and i, sweet and just reader, blame it on their tolerance, blame it on the way that their stomachs break me down, enzymic and acidic, blubbering and glubbering, boiling and toiling, until i am a gritted and grainy memory to drop between the headboard and be forgotten about; betrothed to a dust and beetle burial. really, it is me; a magenyellow smorgasbord of contradiction and cold.
it isn’t a secret, i know it as well as they do, the dampness of my eyelashes, midweek at midnight and the damned, deliberate drouth of his; a clear, cruel, cutting contiguity of the obviousness of it all. alas, pretending is prepossessing, posies in a plain of passing; buttercups in a bawn of broken glass. it is the loneliness of the moon that reminds me.
Artwork by Elizabeth Bett
Written by Nyarko Obed-Athur Artwork by Elizabeth Bett
Words le t unspoken
How do you distinguish a boundary, Of what is a reality, Or your own deluded insanity. A thundercloud that rains down Upon slashed streaks of thoughts, Blurring the ink of words left unspoken. Do you wave a white flag of surrender, Or place upon a tormented face The mask of confidentiality; To conceal, to hide, to protect. Not even the perceptions of those Who chose to peer closely, Can glimpse past its loose stitching into the abyss of internal anxiety. Filled with voiceless thoughts; An echoing ocean roar Left for the mind to feast upon, To purge it’s panicked hunger, With little resolve. A beating heart ready to shatter. It's wounds about to burst, Through self-sewn stitches, When its protection appeared lost. An insanity on route to calamity? An infection that taints the soul? Or a blessing in disguise? In weaknesses we find our strength In emotion we find the truth, And the capacity to see perfections, Where imperfections lie. Dive down deep to the beating core, To find the heart that truly identifies a soul, Not the damage brought on by reality’s brutality. Poem and artwork by Jasmine Laws
For this piece I began being inspired how menstruation can effect women in so many countries who are unable to afford sanitary products. This include both the UK and Pakistan where many women are unable to attend school and even labelled ‘impure’ every month. However, once I started exploring this topic many people were shocked and appalled which surprised me. I quickly became aware that this piece was about so much more than just women who cannot afford sanitary products. It was about the very essence of being a woman. Throughout my whole process I received a staggering number of thoughts and opinions (some of them unasked for). Yet I am so grateful for all of them. When making this piece my intention was to open a dialogue and make people think. Even negative comments were at least achieving this. I was judged, told off and even harrassed ok social media purely because of this art project but I also received a huge amount of love, support and kindness. I never realised that making one piece of art could be such a huge emotional rollacoaster or part of my life. I truly uncovered so many of the negative thoughts and emotions so many people have internalised about the female body. But I also uncovered the amount of support and love which women are capable of. Artwork by Inayah Hussain
Artwork by Jasmine Laws
Artwork by Sarah Shuabi
Salty droplets, Seeped through her eyes. Stained cheeks And swollen eyes. Her room, Deadly silent Excluding the jagged breaths That escaped her faltering lips. On her bed, She had cried herself to sleep. Submerged under the sheets, Silently humming happy tunes. As she hid from the demons of her past.
Poem and Artwork by Lucinda Whiteman
The main focus of these pieces was to showcase that there are more than one side to every person we come into contact with; for people we greet, we could assume they appear one way, when in reality there is a whole variety of issues and feelings we can’t see. The smile is potentially a façade. Through addressing this view, it came clear to me that the multi-faced women drawn, are more of a way of expressing the dark sides of emotion that aren’t always apparent at an initial glance, but are equally as important as the emotions that are presented on the blank canvas that is our face.
Writing and artwork by Andrew Jones
There are hints to mental health within these works, as well as the subtle ideas of society being too judgmental on first impressions of a person and what they are all about. The wide range of emotions presented are almost to sug est that we, as human beings, are not only one certain emotion, or are one type of person, but we embody all of these feelings and spirits to come together to form who we are as a person.
Artwork by Jasmine Laws
Illumination Glimpse the night awaken, Where the burning sun has been usurped By the gentle brightness of the moon. Beneath an industrialised horizon. Where staggered streetlights, And intermittent rumblings of engines, Slumber beneath a shroud of stars, The eerie darkness Seems silent in Solace. The citizens of the city, Their tales unknown And emotions withheld, Can cast aside perplexing anxieties, The struggles of the day, And thus be emancipated, By the calmness of the night. Skyscrapers the silhouette, of the urban skyline, With each tower unique, Yet all collected in unity, With the individuals that make this Metropolitan expanse, Something cosmopolitan. Outshone identities glazed over By the condescending blaze of the sun, Now able to flourish in the darkness. Vision blurred, unfocused From the unveiled laser beams Shining alight, that define Every demeanour separate from another. Unbranded by the imprint of origin; The refusal conform to uniformity, Detaching the clarity of observation, As man-made illumination flickers on Alongside the light from idiosyncratic identities, Watch the reviving breath of the city Be released, unmuffled, Its emotions outpoured on the night's Untouched canvas Tranquilly alive.
Poem by Jasmine Laws
Photography by Inayah Hussein
Photography by Inayah Hussain
Liberosis
Photography by Jasmine Laws
Liberosis A Side
B Side
Photography by Amy Williams (alumn)
Chaotic Serenity A million tides etched swerving streaks into the sand, that unfold down the beach, with scattered shells decorating its beige surface; each smoothed stone having travelled across oceans, carried in the arms of the sea. She can feel the sand creeping between her toes as her weight presses gently into each footstep. The sand moulds into the shape of her feet, branding the beach with the pathway she takes, straight to the blue abyss.
Sighing in soothed slumber, the rocking motion of this watery oblivion utters so t words of tranquility, as the salted breath of the ocean tugs at her billowing hair; making the fabric of her shirt lap, as though she had the wings of a bird. Two hues of blue on the horizon merge together, an infusion of blue with its perfect imperfections of white-grey above and lashes of sunlight scattered below. The break of each wave stroking the face of the sand, only to be drag ed away as the next wave rolls up in its place. Unconditional love in an eternal courtship.
There she stands, so free, at peace, in the place where she feels she belongs where she find comfort. Wave a white lag of surrender, And escape...
Artwork by Jasmine Laws
Distorted on the outskirts of her vision, a rickety wooden fishing boat lodged in the grasp of the sand, remain abandoned. Decrepit and aged, with it’s moulded wooden frames, rusted metal screws and limsy oars.Yet it provides the opportunity to escape away from reality to carry her to where she longs to be: a little leck of dirt that goes unnoticed on an immense canvas. The chance to immerse herself in the masterpiece before her.
But that’s all it was. A masterpiece. A vision. A dream that could no longer be. It was a sight hanging on the whitewashed wall to the right of the bed. Not even the re lection of the clinical overhead lighting and the pitiful gloom of the hospital room, could eradicate the beauty of the painting. A resemblance of a love she carried. For the ocean that brought her here. The visions she longs for in the painting beside her, only mirrors the route to pain in which she now suffers…
Heaving thunders of sound hummed through her body, as she felt the the waves crashing down at her feet and onto the bay. White tipped waves forming the teeth and jaw to the blue beast before her; she becomes a piece of dri twood sucked into the motion of the waves and forceful currents. Momentary, but absolute Serenity.
Writing and Artwork by Jasmine Laws
Yet tranquility fell under the seduction of Calamity. Tossed up the shore, cast into rocks a ragdoll loating limp broken deposited on the cold sand Motionless. Numb. With the water slowly rising up around her, lapping at her lesh.
Toxicity. Self-destruction. The further you let yourself dri t out to sea, the deeper the water becomes. You loat on the waves, not realising until it is too late, that where you found peace, is instead where you shall meet an oblivion. Of betrayal, pain and anger. That drags you down; you are drowning in every emotion. Capsized, stranded, sinking deeper, as the light fades away, but every time you try to swim up, you fall down deeper. In our emotions we are blinded from reality. In our emotions, we trip into the tactically strewn trap of falling for what has the power to hurt us. While it takes misery to understand happiness, betrayal to appreciate trust, the pain of letting go teaches us how to heal.
Baby Blue by King Krule Sung by Nyarko ObedArthur King Krule could be described as post-punk, or indie, with a unique sound that has granted him acclaim from the likes of BeyoncĂŠ and Kanye West.
"For me, 'Baby Blue' is about regret. Regret is a healthy emotion, it's what motivates and catalyses positive change and pressures us to evolve. This song has been my personal soundtrack through the confusions of lost opportunities and the whirlwind of grief. the adolescent journey was one that required such an emotive song." - Nyarko Obed-Arthur
Photography by Nyarko Obed-Arthur
Artwork by Ajala Williams
Disconnection
Artwork by Sarah Shuabi
The Rabbit Hole Alice fell down the rabbit hole, Tumbling down into the unknown. With her hands flailing in the air. She thought to herself, Is this a dream? Alice fell down the rabbit hole, Seeing the white rabbit. With his blue waistcoat And battered gold watch. Incoherent words, Escaping the lips of the white rabbit. She thought to herself, Is this rabbit speaking? Alice fell down the rabbit hole, Curiosity slowly consuming her mind. Inanimate objects floating around, Surrounding her claustrophobically. She thought to herself, Is that piano playing itself? Alice fell down the rabbit hole, A pang of panic, Erupting in her chest. Spreading all over her body. From her head, To the tips of her toes She thought to herself, Is this ever going to end? Alice fell down the rabbit hole, Trying to gain some control over her falling body. Her eyes looking down. Seeing black and white squares Of the marble floor approaching. She thought to herself, Am I going to die?
Poem and Artwork by Lucinda Whiteman
"I love the subjectiveness of photography, where one finds beauty in a photo may entirely differ to another. I like to capture photos of subjects I find beautiful, be it a sunset, a palm tree, or an elderly person, or any other unappreciated corner of our daily lives. Through photography it can be highlighted and cherished in all its colour and splendor. I love vibrant colours that are not too overpowering, nor undermining of reality. I like colors that satisfy. I find myself at a point in life where I tread on changing surfaces, as myself and the people around me grow and write new chapters. So the literal photograph documentation of the people around me, will in time, stand true to their progressions as our future selves look back on the visuals and are reminded of a time that once was. The ability to capture a moment in time and hold it forever embodies my gratitude to photography."
- Ben Smith
Photography by Ben Smith (Alumn)
Photography by Ben Smith (alumn)
Here, the primary idea was to show how far the world has come with equality, in terms of women and the struggles they have previously undergone. Behind, a woman who is purely black and white, through and tired with the fact she has no say in the activities of society; yet in front, a strong woman, with colored lips to resemble the voice she now holds to express her emotions and what she believes in. The overall piece’s aims were to address the limitations a woman once had, and the changes the world is aiming to proceed with to provide modern day women with the voice that this woman, at the front, now has. It can either be seen as a work of gratification to show how far we have developed, or a form of a goal to show where we should be in the near and immediate future.
Writing and artwork by Andrew Jones
The messy strokes of a wet paintbrush drowned in ink, and the sorrowful look of the subject, compliment one and other finely to show the sadness that the woman embodies. Purposefully making the eyes a vibrant green, I aimed to make the color resemble a sense of hope, inside this person who is drowned in emotion and sadness. I would say the color pop of the green is the ‘hope’ that is le t in Pandora’s box, when all else is crumbling and heading to a bad place of darkness. The idea of mental health resurges, yet this time shows that if we work hard enough at something, there is always a part of someone that will blossom and grow to form the best version of ourselves.
Writing and artwork by Andrew Jones
It's the third morning on the cruise ship and I'm shivering the cold away. The waves ripple down the side of the boat and I hear the soft mumblings of people starting to wake. All of a sudden the sun peeks out behind the mountains and warmth touches my face. Everything and all I can see is the rising sun and the waves splashing against the side of the boat. If only we could stop and remember moments like these when we feel stressed, down or just need a moment to stop and relax. I can remember the warmth and I stop for a minute... while my stress ripples away.
Writing and Photography by Jacqueline Gordon
How does art impact our emotions? It's amazing how books can change your personality, even if it is just for a few minutes. Someone who is deep inside a thrilling adventure book will be a bit jumpy and attentive when you are trying to talk to them. A person who is reading a fictional fact book may be bringing up facts and saying fancy words that you have never heard of before. Someone who lurks in the dark with their horror about psychopath may seem a little tight and superstitious, but hopefully over time they will get a bit more relaxed. All of these personalities can be exposed just by reading a few words, which is why they act different and unlike themselves. So how can we make use of this?
Imagine you are about to perform Oliver Twist to the whole school with your classmates, you are nervous and cracking under pressure. There are only two days left till the performance, everything is ready except you. What do you do to become more confident? You read an adventure book.The adventure book will give you courage and energy so you won’t be hiding and tired during your performance. Teen drama would also be useful because you are expressing your feelings like the book expresses many emotions.You could also listen to a calming song so as to soothe your nerves.
You are about to give a speech about the first human to land on Mars, there will be a lot of scientists attending, and your idol will be in the front row seat. The speech is tomorrow and you are worried that you don’t understand the topic as well as you thought you did. Reading a general knowledge or random fact book could be very useful under these circumstances. Your brain will process this information and some of the words could be useful in your lecture. At the end of the talk your idol walks over and congratulates you on the speech. Eloquent!
“The olympic will begin in just under a month,” says your trainer, “You need to build up your quadriceps” When you enter your shabby apartment you rush for the bookshelf, looking for a horror to lose yourself in. You settle on the couch, and open the book. The lights just went off! Making a reach for your torch, you read the first line… Horror books and jump scares work like magic for sports. The adrenaline really kicks in and gives you your full energy, this effect may wear off shortly after, so read it near to the event.
And it's not just books, movies, jump scares, documentaries,they all contribute to it. A few recommended adventure books are: Alex Rider The Hunger Games Ruby Redfort
Books for Horror: Frozen Charlotte Charlotte Says Sleepless Fir Written by Aila Danish
Photography by Ben Smith Photography by Ben Smith (alumn)
Mazurka Choro by Heitor Villa Lobos Played by Christian Innis Heitor Villa Lobos was described as "the single most significant creative figure in 20th-century Brazilian art music" who combined numerous music cultures in an attempt to present the totality and experience of his country, in an act of expressionism.
"Music is an escape - a chance to distance yourself from the stresses of reality that shadows the simplicity of finding release in expression" - Christian Innis
Photography by Nyarko Obed-Arthur
'Le Once' By Ludovico Einaudi Played by Imogen Hughes "The title of this piece of music by Ludovico Einaudi, is ‘Le Once’ which, in translation from Italian, means ‘The Waves’ and I think this perfectly sums up the beauty of it systematic and calming yet erratic and uncontrollable. Within the piece, contrast between the brooding, almost melancholy theme and the bright and powerful section play emotive roles in making it as beautiful as it is." - Imogen Hughes Artwork by Imogen Hughes
Portraiture, Emotion, and Individualism Portraiture as a medium encapsulates our emotional fascination with individualism and our changing relationship with individuality as a concept. The human face has been an object of artistic interest since antiquity and while its depictions have varied through the years, it has remained a prominent part of the artistic imagination. A face—its form, lesh, structure —has been rendered through delicate glazes and through visceral brushstrokes, through sculpted bronze and through gelatin silver. The distinct humanity of our facial forms pulsates within all portraits; this similarity, this shared nature plays antagonist to the individuality of a subject. Interplay between the two leads to an emotional response in viewers. Figurative art, especially portraiture, is inseparable from the notion of subject. This subject exists at once outside of the portrait and within, and, for much of history, portraiture was the only way to capture a visual moment in time. In this way, a portrait would be an approximation, a mimetic re lection of reality—the subject, but not quite the subject. For the majority of the last four hundred years, this meant that portraits were idealized, laws glazed over in favor of ivory skin. These portraits are our only links to certain historical visual identities, but we cannot grasp the the true subject beyond the veil of an idealized one. Does this differentiate the non- photographic portrait from the photographic one? A ter the nineteenth century, we could capture an increasing exactitude of any human visage. One might argue that the separation between depicted subject and real subject is decreased as the artist’s role in depiction decreases. That is, when using paint or charcoal, the artist was a link, a vehicle between reality and image. The artist’s active participation in observation and depiction might just create the gap between
two subjects: the subject as observed, antecedent to the image, and the subject as depicted, the image itself. As René Magritte said, “Ceci n’est pas une pipe.” With portraiture, perhaps, ceci n’est pas un individuel. Yet a photograph of a pipe would be no more conducive to smoking than a few dapples of oil paint. The act of representation—mimesis, as Aristotle calls it— forces a duality of subject. No matter how exact a replication, the image is never the object itself, the things-in-themselves of Kant. I believe that this feature of portraiture— whether or not it was explicitly acknowledged —is at the heart of why portraiture became increasingly emotive, gestural and loose. Even within their individual careers, many artists began to move away from exacting realism in search of something—else, greater? The subject is reaffirmed as a human being with emotional attributes, not simply a collection of features. Rembrandt, Munch, Klimt, Schiele, Freud, they all began their artistic journeys by pursuing precise mimesis. This was likely due to their formal training, but also demonstrates the impulse that character—some call it soul or essence—might be derived from precise likeness. Character seems, in part, to be felt as emotional responses to artwork. If, however, artists remained unfulfilled by this realistic pursuit, then likeness would be sacrificed in favor of texture, brushstrokes, gesture, expression, color, emotion, abstraction, or any combination thereof. These qualities grope towards some approximation of character or emotion that likeness could not provide. While Rembrandt and Freud both created accurate, hyperreal portraits early in their career, there is an emotional je ne sais quoi present in their later, more textured work. Ultra-detailed sixteenth century portraits evoke neither such strong feelings of appreciation nor such emotional response as Rembrandt’s late selfportraits. Why? It appears that the greater the artist’s role in observation and depiction, the greater the visual variation between the true
subject and the subject-image, the smaller the conceptual similarity between the true image and the subject-image is. When Kant and his novel account of transcendental subjects mediating between the ideal and empirical, he begin a march towards twentieth century conceptions of man-as-god, of human individuals as the locus of meaning, emotion, and power—liberal individualism. The belief that individuals are of utmost importance seems encapsulated by the belief that there is something important missing when all you capture in a portrait is physical likeness. So arrive our players: artist, image, subject, empirical, transcendental, ideal. We must account for the certain emotional responses that some portraits prompt and why an artist’s twisting of reality creates this essence. At first the artist seems to be that transcendental mediator, taking empirical personhood and translating it into image, into ideal. I think that because artists like Rembrandt tried to capture something greater than likeness, that neither the artist, viewer, not subject can completely articulate, the subject of a portrait as the artist sees her is indeed a Kantian ideal. The artist, as observer, depicter, translator, is indeed the transcendental mediator: the image is empirical, a definite creation. Yet within anything empirical lies the chance for ascription. Precisely because the artist mediates between idealismwithin- reality and empirical paint-on-canvas, one can intuit glimpses of that ideal subject and the transcendental artist within the final image as emotion. It is the artist’s active translation of observed subject that allows “character”—a watered down ideal subject —to show through in a final, empirical painting. By embracing her transcendental, translatory role, creating visual variation between the subject and the image, the artist seems to imbue a portrait with a glimmer of the transcendental that we recognize as emotion, as human character. The artist
qua transcendental subject translates ideal into empirical through each mark, each gestural brushstroke. In each brushstroke, therefore, lies a scrape of the artist’s essence and in their combinations, a chance for emotional ascription. Western democratic society is built on Enlightenment values. The formulations of philosophers like Kant, Hume, and Mill are built into the fabric of Western society. Portraiture as a form, with its focus on individual subject, embodies these same concepts. But given the inextricable nature of artist, image, and subject, portraiture also seems to offer a rebuke to classical liberalism. While portraiture does represent conceptions of transcendental individuality, it also sug ests that individuals can never be what Michael Sandel calls the “unencumbered self.” Just as a portrait, a symbol of our individualism, cannot be distilled into—cannot even approach —its subject without the transformations of the artist, individuals in society can never purge themselves of their histories, their relationships, their emotions. Portraiture, therefore, demonstrates the complexities of individualism. It involves the transcendental, exalts individuals, but also directs us towards our shared, imperfect human nature. The emotional responses that portraiture evoke serve to remind us just how dissimilar our existences are from pure, individual rationality. Portraiture is a stage for philosophical debates that have no definitive answer. It seems fitting that in the last century, as individualism has come under criticism from all manner of political and philosophical ideologies, portraiture has been seen as too “simplistic” or “outdated” a form of art. Just as our modern political ideologies are engaged in con lict with individualism, so too does the art world grapple with the emotional power—or lack thereof—of portraiture.
Writing and Artwork by Liam Patell
ENRAVELLED IN
Relationships
Photography by Jasmine Laws
Enravelled in Relationships THE
FEELING
OF
CONNECTION SUPERSEDES
BEING WITH
THE
TANGLED
UP
SOMEBODY
IN
A
THAT
CONSTELLATIONS
IN
THE
SKY.
B Side
A Side (NEGATIVE
SIDE)
(POSITIVE
SIDE)
Easy - Mac Ayres
Colour me - Juke Ross
Slow down - Mac Ayres
Morning breeze - Juke Ross
She won’t stay - Mac Ayres
I’m with you - Vance Joy
Million Dollar Man - Lana Del Rey Radioactive - Marina and the Diamonds
Florence - Loyle Carner No less - SG Lewis
Arms Unfolding - Dodie
You’re on my mind - Tom Misch
Selfish - Jeremy Zucker
Find - Shallou Warm - SG Lewis
Photography by Amy Williams (alumn)
Shooting Star
to have sun kissed skin underneath the haze of the moon, to not worry about the chime of 12 coming any time too soon, to laugh in the salty wave of memories, and to see your love only in gasps. to soothe a headache with what makes more, and to taste the warmth and comfort of amore, to be endless, forever, omnipresent, omnipotent, to be the hanging on the wall. to be.
Poem and Photography by Nyarko Obed Arthur
‘o’
arms lock around a shell which is hunched rigidly over reddened sands and crisp white shores to engage in a waltz that will linger like the flickers before.
swaying with burning flesh and a charred spirit, his chin digs—burrows into her shoulder and she is safe, safe in the slow, deliberate strum of humbled whispers.
(they echoed. a quiet shout in the resounding corridor of the back of her head.)
rolling over, her ribs brush his forearm into his clutch, her hair lurched from it’s follicles into a noose around his palm.
and though the blood streams, she returns—hopelessly—back into her own lock, and hides, effervescent, dull, new, in her night-dreams.
Poem and photography by Nyarko Obed Arhtur
When I Have A House When I have a house as I sometime may I'll suit my fancy in every way. I'll fill it with things that have caught my eye In drifting from Iceland to Molokai It won't be correct or in period style, But oh, I've thought for a long, long while Of all the corners and all the nooks, Of all the bookshelves and all the books, The great big table, the deep, soft chairs, And the Chinese rug at the foot of the stairs; It's an old, old rug from far Chow Wan That a Chinese princess once walked on. My house will stand on the side of a hill By a slow, broad river, deep and still, With a tall lone pine on guard nearby Where the birds can sing and the stormwinds cry. A flagstone walk with lazy curves Will lead to the door where a Pan's head serves As a knocker there like a vibrant drum To let me know that a friend has come; And the door will squeak as I swing it wide To welcome you to the cheer inside. For I'll have good friends who can sit and chat Or simply sit, when it comes to that, By the fireplace where the fir logs blaze And the smoke rolls up in a weaving haze. I'll want a woodbox, scarred and rough, For leaves and bark and odorous stuff Like resinous knots and cones and gums To chuck on the flames when winter comes; And I hope a cricket will stay around, For I love its creaky, lonesome sound.
Poem by Elisa Pierrisnard (alumn) Photography by Ben Smith (alumn)
Th e lf Se
Artwork by Sarah Shuabi
WHICH WOULD YOU CHOOSE?
Photography by Inayah Hussain
We are our own worst enemy, our thoughts are always with us whether they are good or bad and can toxicate decisions we may regret later on in life. We can become hesitant and self conscious with what we do and how we present ourselves, creating a facade that is thought to be acceptable in the eyes of the public. Many things can trigger these emotions, from a room filled with people staring at you to and insensitive comment.
If you could choose one of your worst fears to disappear, which one would you choose?
Would you choose something that is so small, yet so common like the fear of spiders? Or would you choose a fear that you feel has taken over your conscience and emotions like fears of judgement or acceptance, not knowing how much longer you can go being scared. Fears can take control over a person whether they know or not, making them feel weak or microscopic in the real world.
Written by Lucina Whiteman
Photography by Inayah Hussain
“What is it like to be you in the 21st century?”
“What is it like to be you in the 21st century?” I stared puzzled at the lady sitting ahead of me, my dark eyes glazed over with both shock and unpreparedness. Obviously, interview practice was going to be complex but I—in my thick eyeliner and glittery eyeshadow—hadn’t anticipated this. “Being a person of colour and a young woman in today’s political climate must pose challenges. So, how do you find navigating that?” Admittedly, this was not a question that had escaped me. Growing up in Surrey, I was always the ‘black sheep’, trotting around with an innate penchant for pretending as though I wasn’t. Although, it was a truth that I could no longer negate once I reached adolescence and it became the forefront of jokes or the premise of lirtation from the people around me. Quickly, my blackness and femininity became a lens with which I needed in order to assess interactions and process the consequences of my own behaviour. However, I had never had to verbally express this to anybody in a professional setting because it had never seemed as though anybody cared, which became the epicentre of my response. “Well,” I had begun, shi ting in my seat to fold my legs over into that ‘four’ shape that the BBC has reminded all of us means ‘power’ in an interview environment and folding my full lips into a narrow and relinquishing grimace.
I explained that my existence has become a political weapon; a +1 for inclusivity points when any politician waves around that they have the support of girls like me; girls ‘like me’ who are over 20% more likely to be unemployed in the future; girls ‘like me’ who are almost twice as likely to live in poverty; almost 50% less likely to go to a Russel group university; 10% less likely to get a first or a 2:1. To be frank, I continued, I abhor that. It is incredibly demoralising to be reasserted to that I would have to work twice as hard as my peers (both socially and professionally) on the back of something that I had never chosen. That hopelessness permeated my existence for a good few years of my early adolescence; living in fear of what I looked like and where society had said I was going to go as a consequence; being somebody else when I couldn’t shave my skin like a kiwi, or peel it off like a fair-trade banana. Whilst it cannot be disputed that traits that differentiate us have always been used by politicians in order to further their agendas by attempting to appeal to the masses, it feels like a shallow reality that I actively choose not to live in. Had I, I wouldn’t attempt to achieve what I would like to. There would be little to no incentive to leave home and the immediate protection of my parents, risking being the 94,099th hate crime victim of 2017/18 for the sake of achieving less than I wanted to at university.
Photography by Nyarko Obed-Arthur
"My existence," I continued, "is not a trope." My existence should simply not be a statistic with which people elevate their own status. My existence, and those in other marginalised groups within society, should be pedestalised to the same extent as those in systemic positions of power. The hundreds of men named John that run Forbes-recognised businesses should not reserve the right to speak over my existence as the bottom of the barrel. Instead, my existence should rival that. I should be a peer rather than a pauper; a success rather than a sob-story. It’s those women in my existence like Fanny Eaton (1835) who fought to challenge beauty standards in order to pave the way for those younger than me to feel comfortable in their midnight skin—yet the date of her death is unknown—that highlight to me that I can do whatever I like and do it well, whether or not the statistical odds are against me; or Olive Morris (1952-1979) who, within a short 27 years of living, catalysed the civil rights that would enable me to even be able to be employed to begin with. Even though I couldn’t ignore the glass ceiling that I would, inordinately, have to push through in order to cement my own sense of contentment in myself with reference to what has been given to me, I wasn’t going to let it determine my destiny. Surrendering to probabilities that had been perpetuated by prominent figures, whether knowingly or not, which were rooted in colonialism and westernisation was not ‘in the cards’ and if they were: I was not intending on playing them. Therefore, I sent my UCAS application and the other arbitrary acquittances to Cambridge, who likely were going to let in even fewer than the 10 black people to their 31 colleges than they had in 2017. I furthered my freelance writing career; began development of the ‘En Vérité’ social justice zine that had been tug ing on my heart and my conscience for years and continued to hone my artistic skills beside continuing to progress academically. I felt I had been rambling, by the taken aback look on the face of the luffy-faced brunette that blinked at me, so I decided to round off what had become a catharsis. “To reassert my point and answer your question,” I sighed, leaning forward slightly to meet her engaged gaze, “It isn’t easy, but it isn’t impossible.”
Article and photography by Nyarko Obed-Arthur
"I seem to gravitate towards songs that have the most emotional impact. Maybe it’s because I’ve gone through more than my fair share in life but whenever I sing something and it connects with the audience then I know I’ve done my job as a performer. For the song ‘is that alright’ by Lady Gaga, when I first listened to it, I learnt it in about the 3rd time replaying it. While performing this song I always think of my mum. Even though my mum isn’t there in real life listening to me sing, I try to sing to her, hoping she is listening to me somewhere." - Sam Frost
'Is that Alright' By Lady Gaga (A Star is Born) Sung By Sam Frost
Photography by Nyarko Obed-Arthur
"Singing has always been a passion of mine, a way for me to destress and relax" - Izzie Khwaja
'Stay' By Rihanna Ft. Mikky Ekko Sung By Sam Frost and Izzie Khwaja
Photography by Amy Williams (alumn)
An interview with Priya Mitchell
“No. The reason I don’t agree with that is that i’ve worked with enough adults and children to see them act in a really
negative, malicious way, and they do that for a number of reasons. Not necessarily because of jealousy.
Jealousy can make people do stupid things, but I don’t think that’s the reason."
"I’ve defined them as feelings that we have, that range from the more
challenging emotions like fear, anger, to the positive ones of happiness. There’s everything in between. Jealousy is an
emotion, but there’s a range. They range from extremely negative to extremely positive, we all have them."
“Well… personality is set at around 7, so
you can’t change it after that. What you can change if your behaviour that is
associated with your personality. For
example, I have a tendency to be bossy.
"Thoughts. Thoughts can really influence our feelings."
Of course, as I’ve matured, I know it’s
not a particularly good trait so have so what I do is use that part of me that
wants to be a leader, and find ways to
make myself an effective leader. So, I’ve taken that emotion and innate tendency
"Yes, because, the environmental factor
I have and made it positive."
cannot be changed. Whether it’s how
green it is, or an event that’s happened
to you. But, what you can change is the way that you choose to think about it. By changing the way you’re thinking about it, you can change your
perception on something, and then you can feel different."
"I think it does, because you have a
different insight. The theory is great, the experience…so, when I did my
psychology degree in Year 2, I was
starting voluntary work. Seeing things first hand gives you a different
understanding. So, all of that experience
"No. I think it depends on the person,
helps me to understand how things are
example, everyone thinks I’m always
perspectives. But, I am an extremely
and what’s going on in their lives. For
going on from other peoples’
happy, and smiley and positive—and for
emphatic person so I naturally
when my emotions may not be the best,
from and emotions. So, when someone
thought pattern. But, other people may
fine!” I can tell they’re not, I tell them
negative thinkers, so they may have
experiences do also influence me,
think there’s one overriding, i think there
with depression and anxiety a year ago
impact them."
helping to deal with other people and
the most part: I am. But, there are days
understand where people are coming
but I have strategies to change that
comes into my room and says “Yeah, I’m
find that they’re prone to being more
“You’re coming across as…this.” My own
more negative emotions…so, no. I don’t
however. For example, I was diagnosed
are so many different factors that
and it’s given me a different slant in
their experiences. Also, I’m able to use tat in a positive way for some of the
children. Let’s say that someone’s
feeling really, really anxious and doesn’t want to admit it because of the stigma around it, I’m quite happy to say “I
totally get it!”. So, from a young person’s point of view, they go “oh, I’m not the only one,” and so it allows them to
explore how they feel. I’m glad that I’ve taken my personal experiences,
reflected on them and processed them
Photography by Eva De Luca
so I can now use them for good."
Artwork by Elizabeth Bowen
"I think negative emotions do, because they can drive us—because of what
we’re thinking about—to behave in a
particular way. I think anger is a classic example. When you’re angry, you can’t think straight so you can behave in a way that might be dangerous.
Sometimes, you go into a red mist,
jealousy can turn into anger which can turn into a desire for control and so
sometimes people act in a negative way."
"I think you absolutely can transcend it,
because thoughts are what drive you. If
you’re someone who naturally thinks in a pessimistic, glass-half-empty type of way, if you become aware of the fact that that is the way that you tend to
operate and that those are your typical thought patterns, you can start
challenging that thought pattern. In my
office, I have those ‘change your words, change your mindset’ posters. If you
challenge those thoughts and change
them from a negative to a positive, then you can move. I don’t think that you’re
stuck in an emotion, you can move. You
can challenge it. I make it sound easy, it can be really difficult for some people, but you won’t stay in one place all the time."
"I think there’s lots of things. I think
social media is quite a big one. People
are living their lives through a computer screen and post things and wonder how
many likes they’ll get. They’re looking for validation the wrong way, through
virtual friends. I think the pressures on
Artwork by Jasmine Laws
you guys are way more—academically,
especially. It always seems that there’s something that forces you to go one
step ahead. But, I think we’re also more
aware, we know the sigs and symptoms. Maybe there’s always been that many people but the fact that we haven’t
been aware of it means that they hadn’t
been diagnosed. I think failure week was a great thing, because we have lots of helicopter and lawnmower parenting,
and so a lot of children haven’t failed before. But, you can only become
resilient and stronger in adversity by failing. If you go through life and
everything is perfect, you won’t learn. If things don’t go how you want them to do: a netball match, an exam paper… you won’t take the time to ask ‘what
could I have done differently?’. That’s when you start learning."
If you or anybody you know needs to have a confidential, safe and supportive conversation in a caring and constructive environment, Priya can be found on the ground floor, nearby reception in the foyer—diagonal to the gym.
We get wrapped up in the complexities of life; the daily struggles and responsibilities that consume our minds, and cast aside the simple privileges that get forgotten in the melee of anxiety-riddled dilemmas and stressful demands. Becoming so pre-occupied with the obsessive desperation to achieve and succeed everyday. These thoughts and troubles stop us being able to relish the unique moments in life, or savouring all the pleasantries within a day that get overlooked by an inconvenience, an unmet deadline, overloading piles of work or any other form of struggle. Yet these thoughts are the fuel for emotions, emotions the fuel for expression, and expression is an outlet to release those anxieties and stresses that cloud our propensity for optimism and appreciation. The beauty of the arts is that it includes all, as talent is irrelevant; it does not require years of laboured practise or a prestigious degree. It only encompasses one’s ability to pick up a pen or paintbrush and allow emotions to be outpoured into freeflowing words or cascading brushstrokes. And so, dear reader, we conclude here to ask you:
Artwork by Imogen Hughes
How do you feel?
Artwork by Imogen Hughes
Artwork by Imogen Hughes