The euphoric stage 1

‘In the beginning of relationships, it’s natural that we feel a strong physical attraction and romantic passion,’ says Suzann Pileggi Pawelski, author of Happy Together: Using the Science of Positive Psychology to Build Love that Lasts

‘When we first meet a person and feel attracted to them,’ says life coach Lyn Rowbotham, ‘this ignites a series of neurochemical reactions.’ That’s thanks to a cocktail of adrenaline, which enhances our arousal responses; dopamine, which increases the brain’s ability to feel pleasure and reward; and serotonin, which boosts our mood and sexual desire.

Neuroscientist Helen Fisher and clinical professor Lucy Brown have, for decades, studied the brain activity of people in love, from early to late stages, for their Anatomy of Love research. Brown explains: ‘In the early part of a relationship – the “falling in love” stage – the other person is the centre of your life. You forgive everything. The other person has faults, and you see them, but it doesn’t matter. Maybe they leave their dirty dishes in the sink, but they make you laugh at least daily, so it’s okay. Good things outweigh the negatives.’

Brain-mapping couples in this stage reveals what Brown calls the suspension of negative judgment: ‘Many people show a decrease in activity in the prefrontal cortex, which is the part of the brain that has to do with negative judgement.’

In other words, the longer a couple can suspend negative judgement towards each other, the better chance they have of relationship success. Couples who stay together for three years or more have the most decreased activity in this part of the brain.

For most couples, euphoria lasts from six months to two years before morphing into the next stage.