The crisis stage 3

The third stage is often the most problematic: ‘the seven-year or five-year itch,’ as Brown puts it. Every relationship has downs and, even in the early stages, there are times when a couple will drift apart as they notice weaknesses, differences and flaws in each other and in the relationship. This is a time of disappointment, but also learning and growth.

‘Almost every relationship has a “drift apart” phase,’ says Brown. “Either you keep drifting, or you come back together. You need a crisis to get through and to be able to talk about together. You grow and change.’

Having children brings some couples closer together, or causes so much stress that the relationship begins to fall apart. But if a couple can overcome adversity here, they’ll move to the next stage.