General Knowledge

I dreamed I was invisible and I married an invisible woman.

What do you call birds that stick together? Velcrows

I’m not sure what we saw in each other. Our kids were nothing to look at either. I called a booking line for an Elvis tribute show. Had to press one for the money, two for the show…

How many mystery writers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw the bulb almost all the way in, and one to give it a surprising twist at the end.

Need some advice. I’ve been offered eight legs of venison for £40. Is that two dear?

At school I was the best at wasting paper, by quite a large margin.

I asked my boss what he wanted me to do with this large roll of bubble wrap. He said, “Just pop it in the corner.” It took me four hours!

My pet mouse Elvis has gone missing. I think he must be caught in a trap.

I’ve always wanted to be famous. So I’ve changed my name to Fairy Liquid so I can become a household name.

Across

1 Type of neuralgia which affects the hips (8)

5 Military dining room where service personnel eat or relax (4)

9 Pedestrianised public square (5)

10 Pop music not issued by a major record company (5)

12 Melodic subject of a musical composition (5)

13 City, site of the Taj Mahal (4)

15 Cat-like (6)

18 Crown or headband worn by a sovereign (6)

20 Rear-facing point on an arrow (4)

23 Mass of eggs deposited by frogs (5)

24 Exhibition of cowboy skills (5)

27 Jewelled headdress (5)

28 Villein (4)

29 Music tape container (8) Down

1 Dress worn primarily by Hindu women (4)

2 Decorated with frosting (4)

3 Very thin candle (5)

4 Loose coinage, often of small denominations (6)

6 And so on (Latin) (2,6)

7 Hand-held piece of armour (6)

8 Male pollen-bearing cluster on a hazel tree (6)

11 Over-worked horse (3)

14 Heating appliance (8)

16 Pursues, like a ghost (6)

17 Object thrown in athletic competitions (6)

19 Printed mistakes (6)

21 The Catcher in the ___, J D Salinger novel (3)

22 Section of an orchestra (5)

25 Enclosed conduit for a fluid (4)

26 Double-reed woodwind instrument (4)

SOLUTION ON PAGE 18

English language facts

• “Dreamt” is the only English word that ends in the letters “mt”.

• “Stewardesses” is the longest word that is typed with only the left hand.

• The letter combination of “ough” can be pronounced in 10 different ways. This sentence contains them all: A rough-coated, dough-faced, thoughtful ploughman strode through the streets of Scarborough; after falling into a slough, he coughed and hiccoughed.

• If you wrote out all the numbers (i.e. one, two, three…), you would not use the letter “b” until the word “billion.”

A personal take on the election outcomes by

I WOULD LIKE to thank the voters who provided me with a further opportunity to fight Glenfield’s corner on the District Council. I should feel grateful but I am not sure that is the right word, with the potential problems facing us for the next four years.

It is obvious that many voters voted against local Tory candidates because of national matters.

Charnwood Borough Council has no overall control making it difficult to see how they can do much other than coast along for the next few years

Blaby is not much better. Blaby was one of the greenest councils in England and one with one of the lowest council taxes and it had won numerous awards. It was well run and hopefully still will be. Residents should have been pleased with their performance but some very good councillors have lost their seats. We now have a much reduced majority of just two which I imagine may mean we can introduce little that is bold or innovative unless we can be sure no Tory councillor might be ill, on holiday or miss a bus.

This protest vote won’t make any difference to the national party although they cannot be happy about it, but in sending them a message, I fear the residents have done themselves no favours. The saving grace is that at Blaby, party politics rarely comes to the fore other than as an election approaches. We are all trying to do our best by the voters and normally work together very well. I remain the Scrutiny Commissioner of the ruling party heading up a team keeping an eye on performance and advising where the commission thinks it appropriate. Given how well the Council is run it is not a difficult job.

It was somewhat ironic that the Green party chose to target my seat given I don’t just talk ‘green’, I do ‘green’ and have done for years. Even the leader of the Liberals locally once called me the Green Tory.

I was puzzled by promises to plant thousands more trees. I have organised the planting of thousands already and could do more if there was anywhere to put them. I can even access funds to buy land for trees but any land in Glenfield not in the flood plain or green wedge is earmarked for possible development and as such the price, if they were willing to sell, would be prohibitive.

The Parish Council have in the past even made overtures to buy land in the flood plain to create an amenity and sports area and even though talking of offering in excess of its value as agricultural land they were rebuffed by owners who have delusions (ill-founded I hope) that it will be developed and they will make fortunes.

It is all change at the Parish Council as well. John Springthorpe who has served the village for decades has stepped down. John was also a district councillor and remains an Alderman of the District. Thelma Abbott has also called it a day and like John, was on the council when I was

Roy Denney

elected to it over 20 years ago. Prior to the first meeting of the new council on May 15th John had been chairing the Staffing Committee and Thelma the Community Committee, which amongst other things was the face of the council, being responsible for fetes and pageants etc. Until the new council was formed, Richard Bowers was Chair of the Council itself and had been for 6 years, the longest continuous stint ever by a chairman and he is handing over the reins as well.

The net result is a much younger parish council despite having three councillors who will be octogenarians before the end of this council and I now find myself the elder statesman being by far the longest-serving councillor. The. The parish structure has also been streamlined with half as many committees and therefore meetings.

There are still vacancIes on the Parish Council if anybody is interested.