Resolving lamily business conflicts

tTloo oFrEN. swEEPING potential I conflict under the rug is what happens in family enterprises. Rather than respectfully addressing problems that could cause strife, they are ignored and allowed to fester until some combination of events makes them impossible to overlook. By then, the conflict may be so intense and deep-rooted, or the business may be in such a delicate and precarious position, that resolution is much more difficult.

Any method of conflict resolution is probably okay as long as the solution you choose doesn't belittle or demean anyone or force a winnerand-loser outcome. There is one simple, widely used method to resolve common conflict that goes by the acronym DESC: Describe, Express, Specify, and Consequences. Here's a scenario that shows how you can apply DESC to resolve a simple conflict within your family enterprise.

A family business member has consistently arrived late to meetings. Other family members are annoyed with the behavior, teamwork is deteriorating, and important decisions are being delayed. As the leader of the business, you are expected to do something about it. In fact, given what you know about the risk of delaying resolution, you really want to do something about it and move on. How can you best correct the situation?

Describe. Arrange a private meeting with the guilty party and start by describing the other person's actions and/or behavior objectively. Try to quantify the concerns and avoid judgmental, absolute terms such as, "You always..." and "You are never..." For example, do not say, "You are always late to the meeting." Instead say something like, "You were 30 minutes late to last week's board meeting. That was the fourth time this year."

Express. Express your concern about the consequences of the behavior on the business and family. Keep it simple, and keep it believable. Don't say, "You are destroying the company." Instead, say "The problem with you coming in late is that it reduces the amount of time we can spend on important decisions, and it conveys to other board members the message that the meetings aren't important."

Specify. Specify the behavior you want. Be as specific as possible. Example: "It is critical that you be here on time when we call a familv board meeting."

Consequences. Cite the consequences that will occur when the behavior is changed. Emphasize the opportunities or benefits that might otherwise be lost. Also cite positive consequences. For example: "When you show up on time, we will get though the meeting on time, resulting in a more productive team-building and morale-enhancing experience. If you continue to be late, people will believe that it's not important enough for them to be there, or that they're only there because they have to be."

In real life, your conflict resolution may not go as smoothly as this. You shouldn't attempt to run a DESC script when people are screaming and yelling, although you can still adhere to the same principles. Just wait until things cool off. and then try it.

Prior to attempting to solve any conflict, it is critical that you listen first to fully understand the situation. Then structure your message into a DESC format. Don't just blast away because someone came late again to the board meeting. First, ask why the person was late. It's always a good idea when there's conflict to take a deep breath, rehearse what you need to do, and then gather information.

At times like this, I like to recall Aristotle's comment on anger: "Anybody can become angry, that is easy. But to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose and in the right way, that is not within everybody's power. That is not easy."

You'll be better at conflict resolution if you pay close attention to your own state of mind. When you are in an extreme mood, avoid making any promises or even making phone calls, writing letters, or sending emails.

Often, when you are angry, it's tempting to pen a stinging message. That's the worst time to do that. Instead stop, pay attention to your own emotions, gather information, and run a DESC script. Good luck!

- James Olan Hutcheson is managing partner and founder of ReGeneration Partners, a family business consulting firm headquartered in Dallas, Tx. From 1976 to 1995, he worked at Olan Mills Inc., a company started by his grandfather. He can be reached at (800) 406' I I l2 or www.regeneration-partners.com. Reprinted with permission of ReGeneration Partners. No portion of this article may be reproduced without its permission.

Gary Clark Elwell,53, lumber buyer for Universal Forest Products, Grandview, Tx., died Nov. I I in Austin, Tx.

He had worked at Universal for more than nine years.

Clarence Bernard Zoller Jr., 84, owner and president of Du Quoin Home Lumber, Du Quoin, Il., died Nov. 22 in Cape Giraudeau, Mo.

Mr. Zoller served with the U.S. Merchant Marines during World War II. He started the business in 1947 and retired in 1963.

Josiane ttJosie" Therese Serra, 57, owner and manager of Surplus Depot, Elkton, Md., died of cancer Dec. 14.

Previously, she co-owned J&J Home Improvement Center, Elkton.

Jeffrey Robert Bleile, 50, president of American Timber & Steel, Norwalk, Oh., and Midwest Treating, Norwalk, died Nov. 7.

After attending Bowling Green State University, he joined the family construction firm, Paul E. Bleile Co., Norwalk. In 1983, he launched his own wood treating, manufacturing and wholesaling companies. He also owned Railway Siding Corp., Norwalk.

His son, Rob Bleile, succeeds him as president of American Timber.

Donald L. Bleile, 74, founder of Bleile Supply Co., Norwalk, Oh., died

Oct. 28 in Norwalk after a brief illNCSS.

After serving in the U.S. Army during the Korean War, he worked for Paul E. Bleile Co., Norwalk, before starting his own building supply business. He then launched Lake Erie Construction Co., Norwalk, where he worked until his death.

John R. Wing, 64, former coowner of Sancona Building Supply, Sandy Creek, N.Y., was killed Dec. I when his experimental single-engine plane crashed in Fulton, N.Y.

He operated Sancona Building Supply with his brother and sister until retiring in February 2010.

Marilee Rowlett Pierce. 87. cofounder of Paris Building Supply, Paris. Tn.. died Nov. 29 in Paris.

She formed the company with her husband, Charles Pierce, in 1966.

Oscar L. "Lee" Watson Jr., 88, longtime executive with Cain's Builders Supply, Fort Worth, Tx., died Dec. 4 in Bedford, Tx.

After serving in the U.S. Navy during World War II, he graduated from Texas Wesleyan College.

Ambrose Berry, 56, owner of Old Saw LLC, Scarborough, Me, died Dec. ll inScarborough.

He spent 33 years in the wood products industry, starting at Kingfield Wood Products Co., Kingfield, Me., as assistant manager and later as director of marketing and finance. In 1984, he joined the sales team at H. A. Stiles Co., Westbrook, Me., and Iater was promoted to v.p./general manager.

He started his own wood products brokerage, Old Saw, in 2009.

James R. "Jim" Craig, 88, former owner of Pendleton Lumber Co., Pendleton, In.. died Dec. 9 in Indianapolis In.

After serving in the U.S. Marine Corps on Iwo Jima during World War II, he owned and managed the lumberyard from 1947 to 1960.

Mary A. Salamone, 79, former co-owner of Northgate True Value Hardware, Little Falls, N.Y., died Dec.4.

She had operated the store with her late husband, Sam.

Witliam Joseph "Bill" Trombley Sr., 69, owner and operator of William Trombley Forest Products, Gladstone. Mi.. died Dec. 15 in Escanaba, Mi.

He also owned William Trombley Trucking, Gladstone.

Colleen Marie Davis. 80. retired office manager, bookkeeper, and store clerk at Cline Lumber, Kendallville and Wolcottville. In.. died Nov. 10 in Kendallville.

Along with her husband, who was the company manager, they operated the yards for almost 45 years.

Northwestern Lumber Association executive David Rosenmeier retired Dec. 30, after 28 years with the association.

A project-estimating seminar in Wausau, Wi., with instructor Gary Thompson will be Feb. 3. Future Lumber Leaders will meet Feb. 3 at Manions Distribution Center, St. Cloud, Mn., and Feb. l7 at Holiday Inn Express. Lincoln. Ne.

The annual Wisconsin Lumber Dealers Convention will be Feb. 8-9 at Kalahari Resort & Convention Center, Wisconsin Dells. Feb. l4-15 is the South Dakota Lumber Convention in Sioux F alls. Feb. 23-24 are the dates for the Iowa Lumber Convention at Sheraton West, West Des Moines. The Nebraska Lumber Dealers Convention is March 8 at Embassy Suites Omaha-La Vista Hotel & Convention Center, La Vista.

On Feb. 18, members will trek to the Viaero Event Center, Kearny, Ne., to enjoy ice hockey featuring the Lincoln Stars vs. Tri-City Storm.

Northeastern Retail Lumber Association has lined up exceptional speakers for its annual expo Jan.252'7 at MGM Grand at Foxwoods, Mashantucket, Ct.

Bob Berg, RISI's economic advisor for wood products, will explore the two-year outlook for North American panel and softwood lumber markets. Author George Lucas will offer tips on becoming a better leader and negotiator. Researcher Lindsey Pollak will discuss how to manage generational differences, and author Shawn McCadden will look at trends in the remodeling industry.

Southern Building Material Association has scheduled its annual buying show for Feb. l-2 at the Show Place in High Point, N.C. Educational sessions will cover a range of topics. Doug Asano, market analyst at Huber Engineered Woods, will discuss what's ahead for the housing market. A panel discussion will look at the new realities of purchasing and inventory management. Edsell Charles, chairman of MarketGraphics Research, will discuss relevant market research forecasts. Rick Kaglic, an economist for the Federal Reserve, will discuss economic conditions affecting construction.

New Jersey Building Materials Dealers Association has scheduled a series of member meetings through next month, including Feb. I in Absecon, Feb. 9 in Maywood, and Feb. 16 in West Trenton. A roundtable dinner will be held Feb.23 at Scarborough Fair, Wall.

North American Building Material Distribution Association has installed Paul Vella, Atlantic Plywood, as its new president. Other new officers are presidentelect Michael Darby, Capital Lumber,

Phoenix, Az.; v.p. Donald Schalk, C.H. Briggs Co., Reading, Pa.; treasurer Robyn Pollina, Palmer-Donavin Mfg. Co., Columbus, Oh., and immediate past president Brian Schell, Parksite, Apex, N.C.

New distributor directors are Ken Hager, Amerhart, Green Bay, Wi.; Ray Prozillo, A&M Supply, St. Petersburg, Fl.; Bill Sauter, OHARCO, Omaha, Ne., and Rick Turk, Metro Hardwoods, Osseo, Mn.

New manufacturer directors are Mark Carlisle, M.L. Campbell, Cleveland, Oh.; Jeff Muller, Panolam Industries Int., Shelton, Ct.; Dan Pickett, Knape & Vogt Co., Grand Rapids, Mi.; Greg Pray, Columbia Forest Products, Winston-Salem, N.C.; Karl Ruedisser, Blum Inc., Stanley, N.C., and Chris Schlabach, VT Industries, Cleveland, Oh.

Illinois Lumber & Material Dealers Association's longtime assistant director, Mary Murphy, will retire at the end of March.

National Lumber & Building Material Dealers Association will convene its annual spring meeting and legislative conference March 5-7 at Washington Marriott, Washington, D.C.

North American Wholesale Lumber Association will host a Southeast regional meeting Feb.23 at Wynfrey Hotel, Birmingham, Al.

Indiana Hardwood Lumbermen's Association will gather Feb. 89 at Indianapolis Marriott Downtown, Indianapolis, In., for its annual convention and expo.

Keynote speaker Josh Bleill will open the event. Dan Meyer and Michael Banet, editors at Hardwood Publishing, will discuss internet marketing, procurement, and market research. Exotic pests and diseases is rhe subjecr of a talk by Philip T. Marshall, forest health specialist and entomologist at the Indiana Department of Natural Resources.

Hardwood Plywood & Veneer Association Laboratories, Reston, Va., has welcomed Josh Hosen as its new manager of certification services.

Mike Axton is the new laboratory technologist and analytical chemist, replacing Gordon Wiggs, who was has left HPVA after l2 years to join a pharmaceutical laboratory.

We welcome -lour letters n the editor. Send c'omments to Fax 949-852-0231, dkoenig@ building-products.com, or BPD, 4500 Campus Dr. #180, Newport Beach, Ca.92660.

NO FSC.CERTIFIED SYP

I am writing in response to Mr. Brinkema's letter (Oct. 201l, p. 20) about my article ("Certified Intolerance," Aug., p. 12)on the ignorance, confusion and intolerance that exists today in the area of lumber certification. I have no desire to launch a public letter-writing campaign with Mr. Brinkema and hope one day we can sit down together and discuss the merits of the various forest certification programs. I respect Mr. Brinkema's duty as president to stand up for his organization. I would also like to thank him for adding credence to the point of my article that too much ignorance, confusion and intolerance exists in discussions relating to forest and lumber certification.

Mr. Brinkema states that "the Roy O. Martin Company has been selling FSC lumber, including southern pine from their FSC-certified acres in Louisiana, since 2002." While it is true that the Roy O. Martin Company (which is a fine company and good corporate citizen,I might add) does have several hundred thousand acres of FSC timberland in Louisiana and their panel products are FSC certified, their only southern pine sawmill is located in South Alabama and does not currently offer FSC lumber.

As the late Senator Moynihan said, "We're entitled to our own opinions. but we aren't entitled to our own facts." If the leaders in the discussion are confused, just think about the poor lumber buyer who is trying to track down certified lumber.

S.M. Junkins

McShan Lumber smj@mcshanlumber.com

McShan. Al.

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