PIANNING fOR THE fUTURE

Uncover your head, and hold your breath, This boon not every lifetime hath, To look on men who have walked with death, _ And have not been afraid.

-Elizabeth Chase

A well-turned Latin phrase is the one Mussolini kept telling the Italian nation; that if they lose the war the Allies will leave them "nothing but their eyes to weep with." That deflated conqueror WOULD turn poetic on us.

There was nothing poetic about Admiral Halsey's remark that when he got to Tokyo if there was anything left of it he'd burn it down. But there was lots of justice in it. rtr {. {.

In San Francisco they tell the story of the Californian who became alarmed after Pearl Flarbor, since he had a house full of Japanese servants, so he said to his valet, who had been with him many years and was practically a member of the family: "Moto, you wouldn't stab me in the back, would you?" And Moto said: "No s-s-sir. Not at all. That's the gardener's job. Me burn down house." :F*{3

Speaking of well-turned remarks, Col. McCormick, Chicago publisher, recently landed one on Willkie's whiskers, when he said: "f've known lots of men who let success go to their heads, but Willkie is the only man I ever knew who let defeat go to his." ***

And one of the radio programs where they get soldiers and sailors up to the mike and ask them questions, ran into this one. The quiz master asked: .'What are our soldiers and sailors fighting for?" And the boy answered: 'ESQUIRE." {3{.*

And then, of coulse, there was the good looking blonde who was deftly working at a bench in a munitions pLant, and when a visitor said to her "Are you doing piece work?,' ehe said, "Nix! \ll/ar work." l.*:t

And by the way, won't it be a grand and glorious feel- ing when we can look back and say "Do you remember when the Second World \f,/ar was going on?" :li**

Those days will come as su.re as the sun will rise tomorrow morning. Of that I have no doubt. I wish I was just half as certain that the bureaus would likewise be gone and forgotten.

+*'i

A Washington columnist who went around interviewing the man and woman in the street about all this postwar planning talk, quoted a taxi driver as saying: "Looks like this time they're going to make the duration last longer than the war.i' *** rf**

Someone sent me a story about a race horse bookie who got caught in the draft, and before leaving for the Pacific sent all his clients a formal invitation to attend ,'the early opening of our Toyko branch, which will be located in the Colin Kelly Building on MacArthur Avenue, Tokyo, Japan. There will be dining, dancing, long shots, and daily doubles."

William Allen White, the famous Kansas editor and humorist, has facetiously predicted that Germany will take the final count on F'ebruary 9th, 1946, at 1l A.M. The "New Yorker" refuses to accept this as final; wants to know if he means eastern war time, or what?

A friend of mine *h.i:*""**tr, enthusiastic about the fine training our boys are getting in the army today says that three months of intensive training in one of our camps today will fix a boy up so that he'll be fit to ride in one of our crowded civilian busses wittrout permanent physical disabilities. ***

The story goes the rounds that many of the older men in the Navy are finding it difficult to pass the reguliation physical exams for active duty. Lord Nelson had only one eye when he won the battle of Trafalgar, which of course, must have been strictly against regulations. And it's too late to go into court and have that battle thrown out, isn't it?

And if you're looking for excellent examples of the differences between the old days and the new, consider the fact that in the old days we used to carefully scrutinize our chicken sandwiches to make sure they were not veal; and now we scrutinize with extra care our veal sandwiches to make certain they're not chicken.

And then there was the Marine who danced with the good looker at the Army Canteen. She remarked: "My husband is in the Navy in the Western Pacific." And the Marine said: "Ah ! Then your anchor's aweigh !" ***

When a guy starts to prophesy, particularly with regard to the war, do as you would if you were considering a prospective employee; ask him what his record on Predictions is. Our papers are filled with would-be prophets wh*like ttre heads of most of our bureaus-have no record of successful accomplishment behind them. In other words, let prophets stand on their record, or be quiet.

So far as I've discovered, this war has produced but one successful prophet-President Benes of Czechoslovakia. He can stand on his very enviable record. All other prophets are either amateurs or phonies. When the Nazi smashed his country, Benes spoke loud and clear to the rest of the world, and this is what he said: Next they will strike Poland, then tr'rance, the Low Countries, England, and Russia; furthermore, he said, they would pull thc United States in. He batted a thousand, and qualified as a first-class and dependable soothsayer about future things. **{3

Now Mr. Benes says that Germany will collapse suddenly, when she goes. There will be no gradt'al crumbling. One day she will be terrific in her might; the next day she will be down and out. And, if such is the case, it could come at any minute. The shush-shush society in Washington wants to soft pedal such ideas for fear of hurting the war offort, making us too confident, ctc. Which is all folderol. Optimism and enthusiasm can do more good than viewing with alarm. If we'd had any prophets in Washington, we wouldn't have had any Pearl Harbor. *r|!*

Whether Hitler will pass out ahead of his nation or not, is a nice point for those who indulge in prophesying. That Germany will fight on should Hitler die, I very much doubt. He is the breath of its nostrils, the pulse of its war efrort. His crusade swept sky-high, now languishes, and next it will flicker and expire, and the nation that plays Sweet Alice to his loathsome Ben Bolt, will know him no more. He will be swept, together with his credo, his crusade, and his maniacal boo\ into the rubbish heap of

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