Como living december 2017 january 2018 issuu

COMO COLUMB IA LIFESTYLE A N D CU LT U R E

Enertaining issue

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A BUSINESS TIMES COMPANY PUBLICATION

EDITORIAL Deb Valvo, Publisher Deb@BusinessTimesCompany.com

Beth Bramstedt, Editor Beth@BusinessTimesCompany.com

Matt Patston, Managing Editor Matt@BusinessTimesCompany.com

DESIGN Keith Borgmeyer, Art Director Keith@BusinessTimesCompany.com

Cassidy Shearrer, Editorial Designer Cassidy@BusinessTimesCompany.com

Kate Morrow, Graphic Designer Kate@JeffersonCityMag.com

Jordan Watts, Editorial Designer Jordan@BusinessTimesCompany.com

Sadie Thibodeaux, Editorial Designer Sadie@BusinessTimesCompany.com

MARKETING R E P R E S E N TAT I V E S Deb Valvo, Marketing Consultant Deb@BusinessTimesCompany.com

Bonnie Hudson, Marketing Consultant Bonnie@BusinessTimesCompany.com

MANAGEMENT Erica Pefferman, President Erica@BusinessTimesCompany.com

Renea Sapp, Vice President ReneaS@BusinessTimesCompany.com

Amy Ferrari, Operations Manager Amy@BusinessTimesCompany.com

Beth Bramstedt, Director of Content

LE T TER from THE PU B LISHER

ENTERTAINING THOUGHTS While this is officially our “Entertaining Issue,” I like to think that every COMO Living provides our readers with entertainment! It’s one of our goals, after all. It’s also our goal to share inspiring stories about interesting people in our community. This issue will not disappoint in that arena, I promise. I’ve been entertaining the thought of entertaining more “A LOAF OF BREAD, A JUG in 2018. It’s not that I’m OF WINE, AND THOU.” commitment-phobic, but I’m still —OMAR KHAYYAM in the consideration phase. Perhaps like you, I used to host all sorts of dinner parties, holiday events, book clubs, you name it. And I was pretty darn good at it. It can be work, but the payoff is typically tenfold. But then I got busier and busier and it seemed less important — which is, of course, the wrong way of thinking, because what could possibly be more important than sharing your most intimate surroundings with those you care about? And almost as importantly, what better motivator is there for cleaning up the house? Nothing like company to get the place whipped into tip-top shape. What thoughts are you entertaining for the new year? We want to hear your ideas, comments, even ramblings, if you’re so inclined. And if you’re throwing any good parties, I’m happy to bring an awesome appetizer and a good bottle of wine! Cheers,

Beth@BusinessTimesCompany.com

Deb Valvo

Heather Martin, Director of Sales

Publisher

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P: 573-499-1830 Website: comolivingmag.com Twitter: @COMOLivingMag Facebook: facebook.com/ COMOLivingMagazine Instagram: @comolivingmag —

CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS Keith Borgmeyer, Jenna Cederblad, Anthony Jinson, Love Tree Studios, Scott Patrick Myers, Brandon Hoops, Chip Austin, Amber Deery, Rebecca Allen

LE T TE R from TH E E D I T O R

FIND YOURSELF As the fire crackles and the smell of hot cocoa wafts through the halls, our spirits are lifted. The holidays are a time to celebrate. A chance to express love. An opportunity to give back. While the temperature is dropping and the snow is falling, our hearts are warmed by thoughts of hospitality. Baking cookies for the company goodie day. Setting the table for Christmas dinner. Carefully choosing and wrapping gifts for each of our loved ones. The ways to welcome and receive “THE BEST WAY TO FIND others this time of year are vast, YOURSELF IS TO LOSE and it’s in that warm and generous YOURSELF IN THE SERVICE spirit that we introduce you to a few local heroes — people giving OF OTHERS.” — GHANDI of themselves to create a sense of home and family for those without. So take a journey through our pages. Find inspiration for your holiday decorations, try a few new recipes, check out our handcrafted bags. Then stop to meet Angela Anderson, Vashante Vinyard, and Heather Wall. Lose yourself in the stories of how they serve others, and be inspired to find yourself in service this season as well.

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Beth Bramstedt, Anne Churchill, Nicole Flood, Nina Hebrank, Brandon Hoops, Lisa Kent, Brenna McDermott, Jordan Milne, Carolyn Paris, Elizabeth Quinn, Kennedy Robinson, Jennifer Truesdale, Melissa Williams, Hartley Wright COMO LIVING BOARD Nancy Allison, Barbie Banks, Muriel Browder, Adonica Coleman, Ann Merrifield, Kathy Lou Neale, Jill Orr, Carolyn Paris, Stacie Pottinger, Michele Towns, Justin Wilson

COMO LIVING INTERNS Nina Hebrank, Madison Love, Elizabeth Quinn, Tiffany Schmidt, Chelsea Skidmore —

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Happy Entertaining!

Beth Bramstedt

COMO

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On the Cover The staff’s pick for a great holiday “go-to” appetizer: baked brie with roasted cranberry, photographed by Keith Borgmeyer. Find more appetizers on page 37 and recipes at comolivingmag.com. COMO L I V I N G

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Letter from the Publisher

Fashion: Handmade

Letter from the Editor

Feature: At Home with Purpose

About the Board

Feature: Family Addition

Shelf Life: Memories of Home

Feature: The Gift of Giving

Health: A New Way to Lunch Seasons: Good Enough?

Day in the Life: Natalie Wier

Home Tour:

Home for the Holidays

Gourmet: For Starters

Life Coaching: Committing to Rhythms

Unleashed: Learning to Love

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For What Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Worth:

December at the Galleries

Engagements: Kathleen Oglesby

Wedding Confidential:

A Tale of Two Sisters

December/January Datebook

Strong Woman: Heather Wall

Couple You Should Know:

Chris Scrivner and Arminta Phelps

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ABOUT THE BOARD

HOLIDAY MEMORIES

Sharing the traditions that bring us joy. What’s your favorite holiday memory? The COMO Living Advisory Board talks about the experiences that make their Christmas celebrations special.

I have so many holiday memories and traditions that I didn’t know where to start — so I asked my kids. Here’s what they had to say: “Christmas Day. Everything. Early mornings, presents with just us, watching everyone open their gifts together, watching ANN you and Aunt Kay and Grandma MERRIFIELD ‘open’ gifts that you’ve all already Columbia College been wearing, sausage ring and monkey bread, skeet shooting, gin rummy, ham, more gin rummy, naps on the couch, being guilt tripped for taking naps on the couch, puzzles, and board games. And we can’t forget our Christmas family band.”

By far my favorite holiday memory has been taking our three young daughters to Disney during December. Our first trip there was in 2014. I scoured all the websites about crowd levels and figured out that the first week of December is the best ADONICA time of the month to go. You COLEMAN get all the magic of the holidays A2D Events without all the crowds. To see my girls faces light up at the holiday parade, at the characters in costume, and, especially, when it “snowed” on Main Street was worth the price of admission. We loved it so much that we went back again last December. Although we won’t do it every year, I truly cherish the memory, and it was the perfect way to kick off what I feel is the most wonderful time of the year!

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MICHELE TOWNS Lutheran Family and Children’s Services of Missouri

Growing up, my favorite memories were of the food my parents would have for Christmas. My dad always bragged that he taught my mom how to cook. My family would enjoy a hot bowl of oyster stew for Christmas Eve dinner and scalloped oysters as an appetizer for Christmas Day. To this day, I make scalloped oysters to celebrate with my family, and it always brings me back to my childhood kitchen back in Michigan.

I love the holidays! The day after Halloween, I’m in full holiday mode. The decorations go up and my Spotify station switches from the Broadway channel to the holiday channel. And let’s be honest: the calories stop counting when the holiday food starts being BARBIE BANKS consumed. There is one particular Citizen Jane meal that brings me so much joy — Film Festival the smorgasbord at my Aunt Lynn’s house on Christmas Eve. The meal is full of new recipes and old favorites — the meatballs with grape jelly are particularly popular — along with homemade cookies and candies and any drink you could imagine.

My daughter was 13; it was our first Christmas with just the two of us. My emotions were raw. I felt pressure to make the holiday filled with joy. I looked out the window and it was snowing. We put on our gear and headed to the woods with our two dogs. We walked deep into the trees and stopped CAROLYN on a hill side. We laid down in the PARIS snow next to each other, our dogs Carolyn Paris Consulting by our sides. It was so quiet. The air was crisp. We could hear the snowflakes as they touched the ground. Love filled the air.

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SHELF LIFE

MEMORIES OF HOME How the words of author Wendall Berry carry me back. sto ry a nd ph otos by BR A N D ON HO OPS

he 10-hour drive felt like a snap of my fingers. Sure, the freedom from my parents and little sisters helped, but I was mostly carried from my childhood home in Illinois across the entire state of Iowa to my grandparents’ farm in south-central Nebraska by the anticipation of an adventure. This was not a holiday or a family reunion. This was a rite of passage — two glorious weeks in the middle of summer by myself in a place and among a people that were mine. It was the summer my grandpa let me sit on his lap and drive his truck down the dirt road near his house. It was the summer I learned how to set bank lines in the Little Blue River. It was the summer I saw the sky whip up in a fury as dark and dreadful as the one that sent Dorothy to Oz. As time and physical distance create separation from our formative childhood homes and experiences, it takes a good novel, as much as old photo albums and VHS tapes, to breathe life into dusty memories. The author who whisks me home with his words is Wendell Berry. He is a craftsman, tending to stories with care and precision. He plunges his hands into the grits and guts of ordinary

things, like life on a farm. At the core of his catalog are close to a dozen books, written over 50 years, about the fictional town of Port William, Kentucky. I particularly resonate with “Andy Catlett: Early Travels.” This installment tells the story of a man looking back on a solo

journey he made as a 9-year-old boy to visit his grandparents in Port William four days after Christmas in 1943. Andy finds himself pulled into the grit and guts of ordinary things, from his grandmother peeling potatoes for dinner to his grandpa stripping tobacco in the barn. There is a rhythm to life and work on the

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farm. But more than anything, there is a fellowship. Although he’s a child in a grownup world, he is not out of place. “It is my motherland, the mold I was cast in,” Andy says. “As it has held and shaped me, so I have kept and contained it. Though I may have been thousands of miles away, it has been as present to me as my own flesh.” A similar rootedness has followed me through so many stages of life. Sure, I’ve lived in Missouri the past 15 years, but it’s not a place I can easily call home. I reserve that title for a farm at the end of a dusty gravel road in Nuckolls County, Nebraska. I can still see my grandpa standing in a field of waist-high milo with me at his side. Even though he had drawn out of full-time farming by the summer of my visit, it was clear that farmer and farm were still intimately integrated. Lines crisscrossed his hand with furrows seemingly as deep as the fields he once plowed, and he spoke of growth and harvest with anticipation in his eyes and hope on his lips. I cherished being close to the land and the man who cared for it. I was just another seed sinking deep into the fertile soil.

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A D AY I N T H E L I F E

FROM THE INSIDE OUT

Natalie Wier photographs people’s most vulnerable health moments. story by NINA H E BR A N K | ph o to s by J E N NA CEDER BLAD

atalie Wier sees herself as a woman who wears lots of hats. She’s is a coffee lovin’ sonographer

from Marceline, Missouri. She graduated from MU with a Bachelor of Health Science in ultrasound in 2010, and she’s been the lead ultrasonographer at Advanced Radiology in Columbia for six years. She performs general, vascular, and OB/ GYN ultrasounds, photographing people’s organs, tissue, blood vessels, and pathology. Natalie has been absorbed in the study of medicine since she was a child. Her father was a doctor, so she was constantly surrounded by hospital talk and an endless number of health-related textbooks, charts, and illustrations when she was young. “I couldn’t help but glance through them, dismayed at times yet infatuated with all the capabilities, functions, and pathology,” Natalie says. “The human body is just plain fascinating!” Natalie revels in the variety that comes with her job. She’s made herself versatile, and she works with different kinds of patients and ailments. Natalie loves meeting new people and making new friends as well as forming long-lasting relationships with her patients. But the job is far from easy. “I’m the first person to discover your aneurysm, that your baby has no heartbeat, that your appendix has ruptured, or that the lump you feel is Stage 4 cancer,” Natalie shares. “Even though I’m not able to discuss these findings with you, I often struggle to fight back the tears — it pains me to discover such sad, unfair findings, sometimes multiple times a day.” Yet taking pictures of people’s insides isn’t Natalie’s only job.

“I’M THE FIRST TO DISCOVER YOUR ANEURYSM, THAT YOUR BABY HAS NO HEARTBEAT, THAT YOUR APPENDIX HAS RUPTURED, OR THAT THE LUMP YOU FEEL IS STAGE 4 CANCER. EVENT THOUGH I’M NOT ABLE TO DISCUSS THESE FINDINGS WITH YOU, I OFTEN STRUGGLE TO FIGHT BACK THE TEARS — IT PAINS ME TO DISCOVER SUCH SAD, UNFAIR FINDINGS, SOMETIMES MULTIPLE TIMES A DAY.”

Natalie also writes for her life, fashion, and beauty blog, A Whole Latte Love, which has attracted a sizable following since she started it in 2013 after her daughter Addison was born. It serves as her creative outlet. “I feel like I’m really creative, and I have all of these ideas bottled up inside,” Natalie says. “I needed a way to express my feelings and express myself.” Natalie started the blog to get the word out about what she does for a living as well as to give insight into who she is as a person. She writes about beauty, including makeup, skin care, hair, and nails. There’s a lifestyle section about literature, DIY projects, and stories about her husband, Aaron, and her role as mother to Addison, age 4, and Luke, age 1. Her fashion section

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A D AY I N T H E L I F E

A TYPICAL DAY

is popular as well, where she shares her personal style and inspirations. Natalie’s favorite post is “The Hard, Heartbreaking, and Rewarding Work of a Sonographer.” It took her two weeks and 85 edits to finalize. In it, she discusses her role as a photographer, wife, caregiver, therapist, nurse, and friend, and the emotions that go along with all those roles. The post has been shared over

100,000 times. It caught the attention of sonography students, and many have reached out to tell Natalie how inspiring her words were. “I’m really passionate about all that I do,” Natalie says. “It’s not always easy. There are some tough days that come with the good days, but you can always learn something new.”

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5:45 a.m.: Natalie’s alarm goes off and she pulls herself out of bed. After taking a shower and getting ready, she watches the news as she eats her breakfast, then grabs her coffee and heads to work. 7:00 a.m.: Natalie arrives at Advanced Radiology. Her work schedule varies; some days are jam-packed with appointments and others are much more relaxed with cancellations and walk-ins. Most days, the mornings are heavier than the afternoons. 3:00 p.m.: Natalie clocks out and runs errands or goes to the gym before her kids get home from school. Some days, she heads to the local coffee shop to write for her blog. 5:00 p.m.: Natalie picks up kids from daycare. On Tuesday evenings, she takes her daughter to gymnastics. She likes to spend quality time with her kids, so she plays with them until they’re bathed and put to bed. 9:30 p.m.: She watches the news or “This Is Us,” paints her nails, spends time with her husband, then heads to bed.

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Plan ahead and enjoy your newly renovated home for spring & summer! As the seasons change so do our aspirations for our homes. Now is the time to start the process of renovating your space. Plan ahead to enjoy your remodeled home just in time for summer! With Kliethermes by your side, you can sit back and relax during the remodel process. Enjoy the holidays with your family and let our family take care of your renovation. We complete all our projects on time and on budget, so you only have to worry about if you finished all your holiday shopping. Kliethermes Homes & Remodeling looks forward to helping you turn your winter dreams into a summer reality. From our family to yours, Happy remodeling!

Call Cale today to begin your next project. 573.446.2222 | kliethermes.com COMO L I V I N G

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GLAM UP YOUR DINNER PARTY BY ANNE TUCKLEY Find more at: AnneTuckleyhome.com

I simply adore hosting parties. From the decor to the fashion to the food, I love customizing events for my guests to create a truly unique experience. Parties are a fantastic way to bring family and friends together, share stories and laughs, and create new memories and traditions. The types of parties you can create are endless (part of the fun), but for the purpose of this article, I want to focus on the classic dinner party. Dinner parties are a great way to have an impromptu gathering during the week or weekend, and since they are centered around the food and conversation, they tend to be intimate affairs that are a wonderful way to spend time with those close to you. The following are some table decor tips and tricks to implement at your next gathering to turn your get together from a simple dinner into a dinner party.

5. START NEUTRAL: The focus of any good dinner party should be, well, the dinner. The heart of a successful meal is the food you have worked so diligently preparing. Be sure that the food plays the dominant role by using decor that accents the food rather than fights for attention. Opt for neutral-colored or glass plates and bowls. They will showcase your food and give you plenty of flexbility with the rest of your decor.

linens. I personally love sticking with white, but black is also a great option because guests feel like they can actually use the napkins without showing off their lipstick or food.

1. ADD SOFT LIGHTING: Turn off the bright overhead lights and utilize tealamps in the room

4. GLAM UP YOUR GLASSWARE: Forgo the water cups and opt instead for wine glasses or cocktail tumblers to use for your water glasses. Spruce up your water even more by adding fresh fruit slices, cucumbers, or herbs to the glass. 3. AVOID STRONG AROMAS: You want your guests to smell the food not your decor. Forgo the heavily scented flowers or candles to ensure that your guests are optimally tasting your food.

and either LED string lights or candles on the table (unscented). Additional tip, name cards such as a personalized ornament, are a nice touch and make your guests feel special. Happy celebrating!

ANNE TUCKLEY

ANNE TUCKLEY HOME

Anne has been in the interior design industry for over 20 years and has resided in many metropolitan cities from NYC to Houston while honing in on her skills. Her specialties are interior design and home staging, with a focus on unique perception. Anne graduated with a BFA in fine art with a concentration in design and illustration. She has extensive experience in designing new construction as well as remodeling and conceptualizing out-of-the-box ideas. She ensures cutting edge design and superb customer service. 108 Corporate Lake Place, Columbia, MO 65203 573-639-1989 | AnneTuckleyhome.com

2. CONSIDER YOUR FABRICS: Dinner parties are the perfect time to bring out those gorgeous COMO L I V I N G

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WHERE TO FIND INSPIRATION FOR YOUR NEXT REMODEL BY CALE KLIETHERMES Find more at: www.kliethermes.com

Remodeling can be an overwhelming process. Therefore, it’s important to educate yourself with as many resources as possible. Finding ideas for the changes you want to make is an important step. It’s beneficial to find support wherever you can, and the sources of inspiration below are excellent first steps in your remodeling adventure.

BLOGS When starting a remodel, we first suggest that you do your research. Reading blogs is one of the easiest ways to start the process of determining what kind of style you want for your remodel. Blogs are also great ways to find local companies to help you out during the process! Check out our blog at Kliethermes.com, where we list the top trends, home improvement tips, curb appeal inspiration, and so much more.

WEBSITES

A really great way to find creative ideas for a remodel is to look online at houses for sale in your area. It will give you a sense of what other houses in your neighborhood have that yours may not. If you find ideas that you like, you can save the houses and keep them for reference.

favorite HGTV show. Our favorites are “Fixer Upper,” “Rehab Addict,” “Good Bones,” and “Flip or Flop.” These shows offer a wealth of remodeling information, and you don’t even have to leave your couch!

REMODELING PROFESSIONALS Professionals can offer a widespread range of inspiration materials, including samples for you to see in your home. They also know

FRIENDS AND FAMILY Our friends and family sometimes know us better than we know ourselves, so it’s important to ask their opinions when starting a remodeling project. Getting other perspectives on a project is always a good idea — sometimes all the options are overwhelming. Your friends and family may have tips or personal experiences with remodeling that you can use to your advantage!

TV SHOWS

Television is the most efficient and least exerting way to get inspired. After a long day of work come home and turn on your

the background information about your remodeling choices, like what’s best for the climate you’re in, cheaper options, how they weather over time, and more inside knowledge that can only been acquired by working with the materials everyday. Remodeling takes time and a lot of effort, so for those who don’t have the time to do it themselves, remodeling professionals like us would be happy to help guide you through the process.

CALE KLIETHERMES

KLIETHERMES HOMES & REMODELING

Cale Kliethermes has learned the construction business from the ground up, working with his father to uphold the 40-year legacy that is Kliethermes Homes & Remodeling. Having been immersed in the industry since his teenage years, Cale possesses decades’ worth of expert knowledge and experience regarding new construction and remodels. Cale studied business administration and finance at Regis University, in Denver, Colorado, and earned his CGR (Certified Graduate Remodeler) designation from the National Association of Home Builders (NAHB). He also served in Iraq with the U.S. Marine Corps, where he built secure housing and observation posts. Cale specializes in leading homeowners through the creative process of designing their ideal home, and he is skilled in determining unique solutions that result in life-changing differences.

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THE PERFECT HOUSE FOR HOSTING

BY DENISE PAYNE Find more at www.denisepayne.com

With entertaining season right around the corner, several of my clients have started to worry that life changes have made their current home more difficult to host a party. Some have added children to their numbers — now where will the in-laws sleep? Some clients have realized that more people are coming to their home and maybe that kitchen won’t get the dinner out at exactly the same time, like at Grandma’s house. Other clients have had to take over the duties of hosting the extended family. If buying a new house or a first home is on your resolution list, my suggestion is to pay attention to homes you visit this holiday season. See what you like about each house and what you don’t like. As you look at homes, you will foresee gatherings and make the correct decision. Good flow is important to hosting a party. With the correct floor plan, a host won’t have to do much to make the party attendees feel that they can mingle. If the kitchen is set off by itself, you may find yourself alone with the stove. Even a galley kitchen positioned in the flow of the house can be better than a

kitchen that’s by itself in the floorplan. Taking down walls can be an option, but there’s an additional price tag for doing that. Having the proper bathroom location is also a key component to hosting a group. If guests must go through a bedroom to get to the bath, they may feel uneasy. Many times, families appreciate the Jack-and-Jill bathroom set-up, but when guests come over, walking through one of the two bedrooms can make them uncomfortable. If the house has that set-up, please make sure there is a

guest powder room available. As I show buyers homes, I’m always asking questions about their lifestyle or the lifestyle they see themselves having once they purchase a home. Buying a home is a big decision and one that you don’t want to have regrets about. Come up with a list of features you want so you can be the host with the must-attend parties in 2018. Discuss those features with me or your agent so we can help guide you to the best home selections in your budget.

DENISE PAYNE THE DENISE PAYNE REAL ESTATE TEAM

Denise has been a Realtor since 2004 and achieved the designations of Graduate of REALTOR Institute and Certified Relocation Professional. A Mizzou Alumni, she ensures that she knows all the current options of home financing to help both her sellers and her buyers know all their options. Denise also understands home staging and owns her own staging furniture and accessories to offer her sellers at no additional cost. She’s won many awards including the Centurion Producer and is a regular member of the Weichert President’s Club. She services all of Mid-Missouri by belonging to 3 MLS systems. 3700 Monterey Drive Suite A, Columbia, MO 65203 573-777-7274 | DenisePayne.com

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MODERN APPEAL BY JAKE FRINK Find more at rostlandscaping.com

If you look closely, you will see modern homes popping up all over town. With this style increasing in popularity, we have had to adapt our aesthetic to fit the design of the homes. It has been a fun couple years to research and design this growing trend. Contemporary landscape design has allowed us to expand our creativity and experiment with different materials and site layouts. Simplicity, key features, and traditionalism are some of the fundamental components of modern landscape design.

SIMPLICITY For a landscape to have a more modern look to it, simplicity is an important consideration in the design. Clean, straight lines are the foundation of the design. Traditionally organic bed lines and patio shapes are now much more geometric. Material choices have shifted as well to be much more angular and linear. For example, in the past we tended to lean towards irregular or rustic stone for patio selections, whereas now, with a modern trend, we look towards large format, dimensional shaped pavers/stone in a simple pattern. With a “less is more” attitude, the design has fewer materials and focuses on repetition throughout the outdoor space.

KEY FEATURES Focal points are given a lot of attention in all aspects of design but particularly in modern projects. As I mentioned before, simplicity is vital; therefore, key plant choices, boulder or hardscape placement, and points of interest are of high consideration. Rather than a bed full of traditional shrubs, for instance, your plants may include an incredibly unique specimen evergreen or Japanese maple in a bed with no other plants or simple groundcover interest below. The trees and shrubs chosen can still vary from very natural to more sculptural. “Modern” does not have to mean that the plants must be formal or manicured.

TRADITIONALISM Traditional values are still taken into consideration in a contemporary outdoor space — modern design is more about utilizing traditional products in different ways. Natural materials such as stone, wood, metals, and elements such as fire and water are still the center of a design. A fire feature may be made of concrete rather than stone and may be gasburning rather than wood-burning, but it can still be a centerpiece within the space. A water feature may look less like a natural stream and more like a sculptural component. Smaller details such as mulch are commonly switched

for something like a smooth black gravel in the landscape beds. In general, working with modern designs has opened our eyes to how much a small detail on material selection can make a big impact on the overall feel of an area, especially when keeping it simple and clean. An outdoor space with a modern aesthetic opens the customer and the designer to a world of options, whether it’s rethinking how it was done in the past, trying a new product, or manipulating the shapes within the space. It has been an exciting process and the outcome of these more modern projects is unlike anything we’ve done in the past. We’re excited to do more with this budding trend.

JAKE FRINK ROST LANDSCAPING

Jake Frink is a Columbia native who enjoys working and playing in outdoor spaces. He has a degree in plant science and landscape design from MU. With Rost Landscaping for nearly 18 years, Jake is the Design Manager. His natural talent for creating beautiful outdoor spaces gives him a huge sense of satisfaction. Jake considers himself to be a very lucky husband as well as a lucky dad of three great kids. 573-445-4465

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OUT WITH THE OLD, IN WITH THE NEW BY JAKE BAUMGARTNER Find more at baumgartners.com

We all entertain the thought of replacing those dated items in our home. That old chair? Still ugly and tired. The dining room table? Hardly the look you want today. Even that coffee table. Yes, it all needs to go! Over time, we almost become blind to the state of affairs in our homes. Then you find out your getting unexpected guests in two weeks and it all comes crashing down at once and you can’t take it anymore. And there’s nothing like a new year to get motivated and inspired and your home can certainly reflect this new found focus. According to expected industry trends, 2018 will be a year of comfort and practicality with a large dose of coziness. There’s the belief that we will seek more natural materials in our personal surroundings to combat the daily assault we experience from all the technology in our lives. Which translates to more wood items paired with soft textures in greens, browns, and soft grays. Earthy and soothing yet artfully blending some of the geometric patterns expected to be big players in 2018. So much to consider! And where to begin? To avoid total overload and the mental paralysis that follows, I recommend you

begin relying on the advice of a well versed, established sales and design associate. Not only will they give you some terrific ideas, they’ll guide you through the process of trusting your own style and preferences. After all, no matter what the current trends, the new look still needs to fit you and your lifestyle.

There’s nothing like seeing your furniture through the lens of others. But there’s also nothing quite like having a trained professional make sure that vision becomes reflective of you. Whether you come to us or arrange for us to come to you, the good news is we can do this, affordably and painlessly!

JAKE BAUMGARTNER

BAUMGARTNER’S FURNITURE

Jake essentially grew up in the furniture industry as he is the fourth generation involved in Baumgartner’s Furniture. Working very closely with his father, Alan, Jake has been devoted to the stores full time since 2004. His greatest enjoyment, however, still comes from working closely with the customers. He is married to Sarah and they have two active boys, Noah and Laine. Jake received his degree in finance from Saint Louis University. 573-256-6288

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HOME FOR THE

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DANIEL AND MEGAN HOYT ADD A PERSONAL TWIST TO THEIR SEASONAL DÃ&#x2030;COR. by E L I Z A BE TH QU IN N photos by KE ITH B OR GMEY ER

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altz into 5307 E. Tayside Circle and the season of cheer greets you with red, white, and green accents. From bountiful bows that lace the presents to dazzling trees that fill almost every room with glee, the Hoyts’ house exemplifies the essence of the season’s spirit. Daniel and Megan Hoyt have lived in their home for five years, and it’s a full house — two kids, Sam and Kate, and Daniel’s sister, Lori. “I typically begin decorating the day after Thanksgiving” Megan says, “but some years I get too excited to wait and get started with my Christmas décor a few weeks before Thanksgiving.” Megan remembers being a child and watching her mother decorate the house. She wanted to continue that tradition to create her own memories with her children. “The holiday season means together time with family and friends,” she says. “I love seeing the excitement through the eyes of my children.” The family can enjoy the holiday atmosphere from any room in the house, and the kids’ rooms are no exception. Sam and Kate’s rooms are decorated seamlessly to match their personalities. For Kate, her festive white tree has accents of pink and teal to match her bedding. For Sam, Darth Vader towers as the tree, protecting gifts with his red lightsaber. There is also a kids’ tree in the children’s art room, which Sam and Kate can decorate themselves. “As each ornament is pulled out of the storage bins, a memory is shared,” Megan says. “It’s so much fun to watch the kids decorate their tree their way.” The creativity and simplistic beauty that comes with the Hoyts’ festive home can be attributed to Megan’s dedication to her homework. She reads blogs, follows social media influencers, and engages on Pinterest to help her find her inspiration.

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Joy is spread throughout the house both physically and intuitively. The fireplace is decorated with green garland and wool stockings; the kitchen table has two homemade gingerbread houses; the kitchen countertops are lined with various snowman figurines. Megan’s favorite part of the house is the living room, where there’s a tree filled with red accents that “add such pizzazz against the green branches of the tree,” Megan says. “The tree glistens and shines with crimson ornaments and whimsical ribbon.” Every detail is thought out, down to the wrapping paper on the gifts under the tree. Megan admits that she plays with the gifts’ shapes, sizes, and patterns so they complement the tree’s decor. Roaming through the Tayside Circle residence, it’s also easy to hear faint holiday music and smell fresh peppermint — more details that showcase the Hoyts’ personalized twist on the holiday.

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For Starters

Local hostesses show off their favorite finger foods. PHOTOS BY AMBER DEERY AND KEITH BORGMEYER

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NANCY GALLOWAY

Chipotle and Rosemary Roasted Nuts & Parmesan and Thyme Crackers â&#x20AC;&#x153;Planning and advance preparations are vital to my sanity and enable me to enjoy an evening of entertaining. These recipes can be prepared well in advance and will give your guests a little something to nibble on before dinner is served. â&#x20AC;&#x153;

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KAREN MILLER

Sausage Stars “This is my go-to recipe because it’s versatile. They are attractive, individual, and easy to serve. I bake all the wontons at once and seal the extra in a large baggie. Any extra filling lasts in the refrigerator about three weeks. This appetizer is great to have available for last-minute guests.”

CAROLYN ALLEN

Salmon Cheese Ball & Teriyaki Wings “The salmon cheese ball is one of my favorite recipes because the salmon provides a different and unexpected taste. It’s a great addition to our annual Super Bowl festivities and complements most foods. The teriyaki chicken wings are simple and delicious.”

Recipes at comolivingmag.com

JACKIE BAUGHER

Cold Marinated Shrimp “This recipe is from my friend Sandye Edlund, who happens to be one of my favorite cooks in town. I have never had an average dish from her kitchen—EVERYTHING she makes is spectacular.”

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JACKIE BAUGHER

Fig Crostinis “I love making this quick and easy appetizer, especially during the busy holiday season. I have shared this recipe with all my fig-loving friends in Columbia—so much so that sometimes Schnucks is out of fig spread!”

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Brian and Angela Anderson move forward after tragedy. by J E N N I F E R T R U E S DA L E | ph o to s by K E I T H B O R G M E Y E R

s you turn down the long gravel path toward the Andersons’ home off Route DD in Ashland, a sprawling estate emerges on the horizon. Drive closer and the grandeur of the double turrets and gleaming windows of the ferngreen Victorian comes into focus. It’s a dream home by any standard. Brian and Angela Anderson built their 5,200-square-foot home on this 12-acre farm in 2010. Two years later, a tragedy changed everything. The spacious and welcoming front porch, adorned with engraved stone memorials, hints at what the family inside has endured — one near the front door reads, “Our family chain is broken and nothing seems the same, but as God calls us one by one, the chain will link again.” For the past five years, Angela has found their Ashland home to be a constant reminder of what used to be. But it’s also become something new. And she and Brian are using it as a path forward.

UNTHINKABLE HEARTACHE Just as they’d done so many years before, Brian and Angela took their three children to the Lake of the Ozarks in 2012 to enjoy the Fourth of July. Garrett, 10, was in their lake house while Alexandra, 13, and Brayden, 8, swam in the lake near their dock. Without warning, Alexandra and Brayden were struck by an electric current coming through the water from the dock. The family pulled them from the water and performed CPR until help arrived, but they

were later pronounced dead at the hospital. “Some days, the reminders are too much,” Angela says. She wanted to sell their Ashland home following the tragedy, but Brian wasn’t ready to let go of the home they had built with their children in mind. “Married people, and people in general, handle grief differently,” Angela explains. “We’ve had to work with respecting each other’s needs.” Angela’s clear blue eyes, warm smile, and calm demeanor hide her heartache. She gives a tour of her home, including Brayden and Alexandra’s bedrooms, without hesitation. The memorials continue throughout the house, symbolizing the work she’s done to push ahead. A behavioral consultant for Columbia Public Schools, Angela found it too difficult to go back to working with children fulltime. She decided that, in order to stay in the house, she would have to give it new purpose. “How can we live in this house and have two bedrooms that haven’t been touched in 20 years? We didn’t want to be those people,” says Angela. “So how do we move forward living in this house?”

FINDING NEW PURPOSE The answer: opening their doors as a seasonal bed and breakfast during busy football weekends and spring commencements. For the last two years, Angela and Brian have rented out their master bedroom, upstairs guest bedroom, and Garrett’s bedroom for $125 to $200 per night. She lists room

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availability on Craigslist and advertises in the hometown newspapers of visiting football teams about a month ahead of each booking’s availability. Before guests commit to the rooms, Angela takes care in letting guests know their family history as well. Angela, Brian, and Garrett stay in their fully finished basement during rentals, giving guests access to the rest of the house. “I post that eggs; ham, bacon or sausage; toast; fruit; coffee; and orange juice will be stocked in the kitchen,” Angela shares. “Then I ask

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guests individually what they would like and what time they want to eat. I don’t want to start in the kitchen until they’re up and about.” In addition to cooking a made-toorder breakfast, Angela also shuttles guests to and from the nearby airport and football games in Columbia for an additional fee. Angela’s goal is to eventually rent out Alexandra and Brayden’s bedrooms. Since 2015, as she’s able, Angela has been going into their rooms to sort through cherished and painful memories. The bags Alexandra

and Brayden packed for that trip to the Lake lie untouched in their bedrooms. Brayden’s John Deere toys and birthday presents from a couple of weeks before the accident remain on the floor and dresser where he’d left them. Alexandra’s Breyer horse collection and favorite books remain on their shelves just as she had arranged them. The process of removing their belongings from the rooms has been, understandably, slow. “Which room do I go into? Whose would I finish first? I need the process to finish

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both at the same time,” Angela says. “I’m doing it the best way I know how.” Alexandra and Brayden’s bedrooms lie at opposite ends of the house upstairs. Garrett’s bedroom adjoins Brayden’s via a Jack-and-Jill bathroom. A guest bedroom and Alexandra’s room are at the other end. Both Brayden and Alexandra’s bedrooms reside in one of the five-windowed turrets. “Alexandra was a little princess, so I definitely wanted her to have a turret,” Angela remembers about creating the house plans.

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The hallway between the bedrooms looks down on one side into the spacious, openconcept family room and kitchen, and on the other side into the vaulted-ceiling foyer with a sweeping hardwood staircase up to the second floor. “I always had a dream of Alexandra coming down that staircase in her wedding dress,” Angela says. Angela has no deadline for when she’ll make the rooms ready for guests. Right now, her focus is on the process of properly memorializing her children. She has framed Alexandra’s basketball jerseys and covered a papier-maché horse with her horse show ribbons. A careful selection of Brayden’s things rests in a large trunk that remains open at the top of the stairs. “I can’t live in this house and do anything with their rooms unless there’s a purpose for it,” Angela says.

Angela cradles teddy bears made from Alexandra and Brayden’s baby blankets.

MOVING FORWARD Angela is also considering making the house available for weddings and bridal showers. In addition to transforming her home, Angela refinishes antique furniture and collects fine china that she sells to a distributor in North Carolina. She also started her own business, Together We Grow, providing personal behavioral consultation for a handful of children at a time. Brian, who works at MFA Inc., and Angela also make a point of educating others about the importance of taking

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action to ensure their lakeside piers are properly grounded to prevent the heartache their family has endured. She has spoken before the Missouri Senate and House of Representatives public safety committees, and she also speaks at conferences. The Andersons move forward day by day. For Angela, that means finding purpose in the wake of heartache. “If [Alexandra and Brayden] can’t be in there to enjoy the rooms, then other people can,” says Angela. “And that makes it better.”

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Kevin Griffin hugs his caregiver, Vashante Vinyard, outside their Boone Supported Living home.

FAMILY ADDITION ISL providers create ordinary lives for extraordinary people. by H A R T L E Y W R I G H T | photos by A N T H O N Y J I N S O N

“ TAY, C AN I SHOW HIM MY RO OM? ” Kevin directs his question to Vashante Vinyard, the house manager who lives in the home’s basement apartment with her two children. Vashante says yes, and Kevin and I start our tour of his bedroom. Kevin tells me a story for every award he has

been given, every piece of art he’s created, and every photo he’s displayed. “Look, this is the chief of police. He’s [like] my dad.” He points out other pictures, one by one. Most of them are of his family, save a few autographed photos of celebrities. “See this picture? Do you know her? She’s

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famous. And this lady, you see her on TV She signed this one for me.” Vashante informs me Kevin is a celebrity in his own right. “Everywhere we go in his hometown, people know Kevin,” she says. “Everyone says hi to him and wants to talk to him.”

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Kevin Griffin wasn’t homeless, but his mother was homebound and his father had passed away. Having a developmental disability and a personality that caused him to be hyperactive with everything and everyone, Kevin needed a caregiver to protect him from the risk of roaming his small town, being vulnerable to abuse, and getting into bad situations. Today, he lives in Columbia in an individual supported living home provided by Boone Supported Living.

WHEN YOU OPERATE A COMPANY DEDICATED TO CREATING A HOME AND SENSE OF FAMILY FOR THOSE WITHOUT, YOU OFTEN CAN’T HELP BUT ADOPT THE PEOPLE YOU SERVE. Individual supported living, or ISL, is an arrangement for adults who require support due to a developmental disability. ISL participants live in local homes or apartments where staff are available to help them experience a full, productive life as defined by each participant. Staff provide services based on an individual needs, respecting their preferences while also ensuring their health and safety. The support gives ISL participants the freedom to pursue their own interests, express their individuality, and actively participate in their communities.

Provision of Services According to the Missouri Department of Mental Health, there are 22 ISL providers in Boone County. The largest provider among them is Woodhaven, which is currently supporting 110 adults living in 49 homes and apartments. Boone Supported Living supports 10 adults living in four homes. ISL is funded through the Missouri Department of Mental Health, and any Boone County resident with a diagnosed developmental disability can become

eligible to receive it. To qualify, a support coordinator must complete an assessment with the individual and his or her family, which results in a score used to prioritize services to be provided. The support coordinator then refers the individual and his or her family to all possible providers who can meet their specific needs. There’s never enough funding to support everyone, though, and providers are often full. When that happens, ISL qualifiers are placed on the Department of Mental Health’s consumer referral database. When

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providers have an opening, they consult this database to find an individual who will be a good match for the ISL home. The provider extends an offer, which the participant may choose not to accept, to provide them with ISL services. Boone Supported Living, Woodhaven, and other providers in Boone County operate under a supported living model of three-person homes. This model is popular mostly because what defines a dwelling as a group home or an ISL arrangement is determined by a combination of the

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Department of Mental Health standards and local zoning codes. More important, the model works well in accommodating transportation needs and allowing each person to have their own bedroom and, often, their own bathroom. There are other models as well — Woodhaven, for example, has many high functioning individuals not requiring 24/7 supervision who prefer to live in one-bedroom apartments by themselves. In this ISL model, residents are watched over and assisted by a staff member who lives in their same complex.

Daily Life As Kevin’s ISL house manager, Vashante coordinates and manages the operation of the home, helping Kevin and his roommate structure their days and making sure each of them has whatever help they need for personal hygiene, preparing meals, completing household chores, building social skills, and managing their finances. Her days begin with helping Kevin get ready for work, which may involve her prompting him about time management and tasks on his to-do list. She coaches him as he prepares his lunch, making sure his choices result in a balanced meal, then takes him to his part-time job at Cedar Creek Resort, near Millersburg. “I mow yards or clean cabinets,” Kevin says. “I feed the horses and turtles and fish. I rent cabins out to people.” Usually, he works full days with great success. Other days, he may confront an issue requiring him to call on Vashante so she can coach him through it over the phone. When Kevin’s not working, his propensity for action and socialization keeps the Boone Supported Living staff busy taking him to events, activities, and programs that interest him. He has friends whom he visits and who visit him. (He received two phone calls from friends while we were talking.) When he’s not out socially, Kevin has things to do at home. He has chores, of course, and other responsibilities. There’s a video game console in the living room and a pool table downstairs. If his roommate doesn’t want to play, Vashante’s children are likely

to join in. “My kids love Kevin and his roommate as if they were their uncles,” Vashante says. “My daughter is trying to teach Kevin how to read. Sometimes we take Kevin to the library with us.” Vashante’s role as a house manager is a

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40-hour, 7:00 a.m. to 3:00 p.m. job. Other support staffers come into the home to fill the evening and overnight shifts, which gives her time to be with her family. Not surprisingly, she includes Kevin among that family. It isn’t because she is unable to keep clear boundaries

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between the job and her personal life; she simply finds her work and life mix well together. “The relationships and bonds that we build with these guys — they’ve become family,” she says. “Their goals and things they try to accomplish become a fabric of you. And, as I experience things, I wonder how I can better help them accomplish the same.” A trip to the library, a place at the Thanksgiving table, bowling with the in-laws, celebrating a graduation — these things aren’t unusual for ISL participants to experience with their caregiver’s families. Julie Walden, the founder and CEO, says “We don’t hire employees — we just add to the family.” When you operate a company dedicated to creating a home and sense of family for those without, you often can’t help but adopt the people you serve. This is the heart of Boone Supported Living and Woodhaven, along

“MY KIDS LOVE KEVIN AND HIS ROOMMATE AS IF THEY WERE THEIR UNCLES. MY DAUGHTER IS TRYING TO TEACH KEVIN HOW TO READ.” with other ISL providers. They extend a quality of life that only a family can produce. Mark Palmer, CEO of Woodhaven, reiterates the practice’s importance. “Since we’re taking care of people, providing the least restrictive environment for them, it produces a family atmosphere because we are serving those folks in their home.”

Breaking Through All ISL agencies, big and small, face the same challenges. There’s federal and state

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funding to consider — home services for people with disabilities faced controversial budget cuts this year — along with mental health regulations, operating costs, and local policy. And then there’s the grunt work: the process of securing homes, maintaining them, and filling them with clients. ISL providers dispense a lot of energy and time, make sacrifices most of us would not, and rarely, if ever, see wage growth. So why do they do it? ISL providers do what they do for people like Kevin, to add to their beauty. They take in individuals who are often devalued and help them succeed within a place they can be seen and known. They do it so Kevin can have the same thing we all want — to be a part of the community we all share. They create ordinary lives for extraordinary people.

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The Gift of Giving Help nonprofits and charities create a sense of home for those in need. by B R E N N A M C D E R M O T T

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Imagine never

being able to watch your child unwrap a present during the holidays. Imagine growing up and not knowing what it feels like to receive a gift. Imagine letting the holidays pass without a turkey or ham dinner, without gathering your family together to spend time, to visit, to be thankful for what you have. The U.S. Census Bureau reported the poverty rate in Columbia stood at 24.5 percent in 2015 — that’s 11 percent higher than the national poverty rate. In 2016, average shoppers planned to spend $929 on Christmas gifts, according to the American Research Group. For many families in Columbia, that’s just not possible; for them, the holidays would pass without any special celebration or gifts if not for help from the community. Thankfully, there are many organizations and individuals in the city who give their time, energy, and resources to make sure that families with restricted means can still enjoy the holidays.

TAPPING INTO THE COMMUNITY Many children who receive services from Great Circle have never celebrated the holidays. Susan Reeves, Great Circle’s regional advancement director, says some of their kids only experience the normalcy that many of us take for granted because of their interaction with the nonprofit. Normalcy — being able to expect some stability in life — is a gift for these children who have been removed from their homes, or are dealing with a variety of behavioral issues, or are receiving intensive treatment to overcome trauma. Great Circle provides behavioral health services like counseling, crisis intervention, parenting support, and specialized care for these children. For nonprofits like Great Circle, budgets are limited, and funding pays for the necessities: professional treatments, counseling, and health care. But the “non-essentials” can be just as critical to children’s well-being. During the holidays, that means providing celebrations and fun activities for the Great Circle kids. COMO L I V I N G

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“We’re the ones who make the holidays special for them,” Susan says. “We tap into the community, especially at Christmas, to make that happen.”

A RECIPROCAL INTERACTION Great Circle often partners with businesses, service groups, and individual families to volunteer during the holidays. Some of these groups adopt “wish lists” for the children; some come to Great Circle’s campus to help the children celebrate the holiday season; some decorate cookies, help the children make cards, or play games. Simple activities like these can be profound for children who have never had the chance to participate in them. Susan says it brings pure glee to the kids, but the

importance of these interactions goes even deeper than a fun activity to pass the time. “The value of having interaction with safe adults is huge, especially those who are just giving up their time,” Susan says. “The kids get used to their staffers here on our campus, and so having other people come in really does give them a sense that other people care about them.” Volunteers run programs that teach career preparedness, social skills, goal setting, and money management year-round. The children aren’t the only ones who benefit from the experience. Susan says the most common response she hears from volunteers is that their eyes are opened. “They’re just like everyday kids. They want to be heard, and they want people to see and appreciate them for who they are,” Susan shares.

THE LITTLE THINGS For some organizations, holiday volunteers are critical to providing continual care for clients. Meals on Wheels Columbia executive director JoNetta Weaver says it takes 100 volunteers each week to fulfill their mission of delivering hot meals for seniors in the community. Many of JoNetta’s volunteers are students who leave Columbia during the holiday break. Some are snow birds who travel south for the winter. And other volunteers might need to travel for work or visit family over the holidays. Finding extra help is important. It’s important for Meals on Wheels clients, too, since volunteers try to visit during each delivery. “Our people, for some of them, we’re the only human contact that they have,” JoNetta says. “And that’s hard to imagine for us in a busy town like Columbia.” Groups can volunteer to bake cookie plates or provide gifts for 125 clients during the holiday season. Those are important during the winter months, JoNetta says, because it’s something to look forward to around the holidays. “They honestly do not think that they have any needs,” JoNetta shares. “They really are a content group of people, and so every little tiny thing that you give them COMO L I V I N G

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Operation Hospitality For many families in Columbia, the holidays aren’t the easiest time. There are countless opportunities in our community to take time to serve those who may not have a hot meal on Christmas or may not have gifts to give their children around the holidays. Here are some ways you and your family can give back this season. LOAVES AND FISHES Nightly free dinner served at Wilkes Boulevard United Methodist Church. Prepare and serve food (you can sign up as a group) or greet at the door. 573-449-4363, info@wilkesblvdumc.org ST. FRANCIS HOUSE Serve meals; donate clothing and dry food goods. 573-875-4913 SALVATION ARMY Bell ringing; host an Angel Tree toy drive; host a food drive (items needed include canned vegetables, pasta, rice and peanut butter); work at The Toy Shop (bag toys, restock, and organize toy tables); Serve meals and donate food to Harbor House. 573-442-3229, tsacentralmissouri.org GREAT CIRCLE Winter Wishes Holiday Gift and Fund Drive; host a gift tree; donate funds, wrapping paper, or gift cards for children’s basic clothing needs; host an activity or outing for kids; lead a craft or card-making workshop; decorate cookies; and more. Maggie Rotts, Maggie.rotts@greatcircle.org; 573-442-5560

THE FOOD BANK FOR CENTRAL AND NORTHEAST MISSOURI One for One Holiday Food Drive (December 13): donate money or canned goods at the corner of Broadway and Providence. 573-474-1020 sharefoodbringhope.org,

means so much to them. It’s the little things that are important. The time you spend with them, the conversations that you have with them. All of that is such an important part of their lives.”

VOLUNTARY ACTION CENTER OF BOONE COUNTY Holiday Assistance Program: provide gifts and food for a family; collect and distribute gifts December 4 through 15. 573-874-2273, vacmo.org

Close your eyes and remember that special gift you got as a child — that one, incredible gift that you’ll never forget. Remember the magic you felt as a child during the holidays. That’s what gifts and donations are providing for the children who are able to open a gift on Christmas. When families and individuals decide to fill a child’s Christmas List from the Salvation Army’s Angel Trees around town, Major Nancy Holloway says there’s often a walk down memory lane for those who give, and that can make providing gifts an emotional experience. “When we’re able to participate, we really go back and pull on our own emotions of what that was like for us, and know that we’re providing that for some other child,” she says. Nancy says the Salvation Army tries to purchase at least one special or specific

RAINBOW HOUSE Adopt a family: provide gifts, wrapping paper, and a meal from a provided list; distribute gifts; donate needed items for the house like cleaning materials, playground equipment, computers. Margrett Andrews mandrews@rainbowhousecolumbia. org, 573.474.6600 x 2102 HARRY S. TRUMAN MEMORIAL VETERANS’ HOSPITAL Donate minimum of 125 gifts like lip balm, gloves, stocking caps, candy, cards with coupon books (purchased at VA store); distribute gifts and spread holiday cheer in the hospital. Sylvia M. Jackson, Sylvia.Jackson@va.gov, 573-814-6000

WALKING DOWN MEMORY LANE

gift that each child requests on their list, something beyond the basics and necessities like warm clothing and simple toys. Providing gift cards can allow senior volunteers to go and purchase specific requests. For some children, that can be a movie, or maybe something to make their personal space special. “For some of the children, I was surprised,” Nancy says. “They wanted a comforter for their bedroom. And what a neat gift that lasts all year round, for a child to be able to decorate their bedroom and have it be something that they truly want and need.” The experience of shopping for and wrapping gifts can be a bonding experience, whether it’s a family or a team of employees who are fulfilling a Christmas wish list.

BIG BROTHERS BIG SISTERS OF CENTRAL MISSOURI Big & Little Holiday party (December 6): set up, run games, serve food. Aleshia@bigsofcentralmo.org, 573-874-3677 LUTHERAN FAMILY & CHILDREN’S SERVICES OF MISSOURI Adopt a family: toys, clothes, bedding for children, and household items and cleaning supplies; host a baby shower for Layette’s Closet. Heather Wall, HeatherW@lfcs.org, 573-815-9955 COMO L I V I N G

DE C E MB E R 2017 / JA NUA RY 2018

Recently, one family wanted to celebrate a family member beating cancer, and so they adopted the list of a family with four children. They brought in Santa Claus to give the gifts and, on Christmas Eve, were able to spend time with the family they adopted at the Salvation Army. Nancy was there for the experience. “To see this young child riding around our lobby on a bicycle that Santa Claus carried in in his pack was just so exciting,” she says. “There’s just joy in knowing that you’re bringing that smile to a child’s face.”

THE POWER OF DOING Susan says it’s important to volunteer in a way that’s comfortable for you and your family, something you enjoy doing or have experience with. Not everyone is comfortable working with kids, for example, but Great Circle and many other organizations that serve children have work that doesn’t require interaction with kids. One way to serve behind the scenes is to host a drive at work or in your social organizations for gift cards. When a child is removed from a home, they often come

into Great Circle with nothing but the clothes on their back. Having gift cards to a clothing or shoe store can fill a huge need. “It’s a small comfort to a child who’s just gone through a traumatic situation,” Susan says. Or you can host a sock or mitten drive, or you can get together with a group of friends and adopt a wish list. It’s important to communicate with the nonprofit you’re giving to in advance to make sure you’re providing the most needed materials. Nancy says volunteers — especially bell ringers — are crucial for the Salvation Army during the holidays. Seeing a familiar face ringing the bell encourages people to give, she says, and it ensures the Salvation Army doesn’t have to pay people to work in those slots, thus ensuring donations continue to be spent where they’re intended. “Hands are needed,” Susan says. “We need people who are willing to lend their hand and get stuff done. When people do that, they are so glad, and they actually thank us for the opportunity to do that because they feel really good, like they did something. And they actually really did.”

Can ’ t lend a hand? Consider CoMoGives. In 2016, 92 organizations participated in CoMoGives, an online directory and donation platform for charitable organizations in Columbia, and the community donated $567,038 to those organizations during the month of December. It’s been quite a journey for the annual fundraiser, which is run by the Community Foundation of Central Missouri. In its first year, in 2013, the program raised $62,500. In 2017, 114 organizations will participate, and the group anticipates about $600,000 in donations to participating charities. Giving during the campaign is just as vital to many nonprofits as volunteering, and getting the word out about the CoMoGives campaign is critical as well. There are grants available for some of the most successful nonprofits. In 2016, there were 2,555 unique donors to the CoMoGives campaign. Imagine what could happen in Columbia if the number of unique donors doubled? Learn more at comogives.com. COMO L I V I N G

D E C EM BE R 2017 / JA NUA RY 2 01 8

MARY LEE JOHNSTON COMMUNITY LEARNING CENTER Holiday activities with kids: reading books, wrapping gifts for parents; put Christmas lights up outdoors; donate arts and craft supplies for holiday activities. Gay Litteken, gayl@mljclc.org, 573-449-5600 CITY OF REFUGE Adopt a family for the holidays. Barry Stoll, barry@ cityofrefugecolumbia.org, 573-529-6378 ROOM AT THE INN Volunteer for Christmas or New Year’s shifts (must be 18 or older); Donate items like warm gloves, milk, juice, and trash bags. fundrati@gmail.com, 573-823-0271 AMERICAN RED CROSS Holiday for Heroes program: collect cards of support for service members. Teri Glendening, Theresa.glendening@redcross.org, 573-303-9050 ALMETA CRAYTON’S COMMUNITY PROGRAMS Everybody Eats: prepare food baskets, deliver baskets, serve meals at the Columbia Senior Activity Center. Visit Almeta Crayton’s Community Programs on Facebook MEALS ON WHEELS Volunteer as an extra driver to give regular drivers time off; make or donate (125-plus gifts or plates of food needed for clients). JoNetta Weaver, mowheels@gmail.com, 573-886-7554 THE MARINE TOYS FOR TOTS FOUNDATION Donate and collect toys; assist in local warehouse. Columbia-mo.toysfortots.org

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Not in the Mood? Lots of things play into a woman’s desire (or lack of desire) for intimacy. However, one thing that is clearly essential for a woman’s normal sexual desire and functioning is optimal hormone balance. Midlife hormone depletion impacts all aspects of life and health, including sexual functioning. There are other symptoms too – hot flashes, mood swings, insomnia, and brain fog, to name a few. With all this in mind, intimacy often drops to the bottom of the list. Don’t assume that life “just has to be like this.” Vitality can be restored through replenishment of withering hormones.

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It Hurts Down There? Throughout a woman’s life, she may be exposed to mild or major trauma to the pelvis with lasting affects. A few examples are childbirth, surgery, recurrent vaginal or urinary tract infection, and endometriosis. These and other issues can lead to a hidden cause of pain – pelvic floor spasm. As many as 25% of women suffer pelvic floor spasm, and it is often responsible for chronic pains “down there,” such as bladder pain, genital pain,

or painful sex. Effective, noninvasive treatment exists for this frequently missed condition.

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About Us Women’s Wellness Center offers specialized help for women to achieve health and happiness in midlife and beyond, through addressing hormone health and providing effective noninvasive treatment of intimate conditions that are often hard to talk about. There is hope and healing for you! Call today for a consultation. To learn more, visit womenswellnessnow.com.

WOMEN’S WELLNESS CENTER 1705 E. Broadway, #300 | 573-449-9355 WomensWellnessNow.com Laura Grant, MD, FACOG, NCMP. Columbia Ob/Gyn since 1994. Dr. Laura’s focus is on hormone health and treatment of pelvic floor dysfunction.

COMO L I V I N G

DE C E MB E R 2 017 / JA NUA RY 2 01 8

H E A LT H

A NEW WAY TO LUNCH Ex pe r i e n ce a h e a r t , b ody, a n d soul con n ection .

by J O R DA N M I L N E | ph o to by C H I P AU S T I N

hen I walked into Heart, Body & Soul for the Noon Meditation and Stretch, I was what I’d like to call, for picture-painting purposes, a “hot mess.” I was on day three of a progressive cold/ allergy/mystery illness that was coinciding with countless nights of waking up to nurse a crying, teething baby. A yoga teacher of 12 years, I also tend to be a tough crowd when I attend other teachers’ classes. Despite my already Negative Nancy (or perhaps Skeptical Sally) approach, I had overcome the most difficult part of any yoga class: I’d arrived. The Noon Meditation and Stretch, or what instructor Sarah Drewing refers to as “a 30-minute Heart, Body & Soul connection,” is an alternative to the typical lunch hour break. Rather than bland leftovers in a Tupperware container — or an hour-long yoga class, which will leave you rushing to and from the office — Sarah serves up this halfhour midday break: a “yoga–meditation–yoga sandwich” that was delightfully palatable. The fact that I walked through displays of various gems, minerals, and crystals to get to the yoga space started to get the positive vibes flowing upon arrival. As I was welcomed into a serene space of soft light set at the perfect temperature, I was already being ushered into a deep relaxation. All of those present were encouraged to bring a yoga mat and water bottle and make ourselves comfortable with provided meditation cushions and blankets. The practice consisted of five minutes of simple stretch, followed by twenty minutes of musically-guided meditation, and concluded with five more minutes of gentle stretch. We opened the practice with some deep breaths and familiar poses — cat–cow, forward folds, and gentle backbends — to work out the kinks and comfortably find stillness for meditation. All positions, from the yoga poses to the meditation “seat” (I chose to lie down),

could be modified for any level of participant. During the meditation, Sarah performed a subtle reiki healing on the attendees.

IRONICALLY, AS I MELTED TO THE SOUNDS OF ENYA, WINDCHIMES, RATTLES, AND DIDGERIDOOS, I FORGOT ALL ABOUT MY SORE THROAT, RUNNY NOSE, AND GENERAL EXHAUSTION. For the meditation portion, Sarah pulled a random card from an inspirational deck for a simple mantra — something to focus on during meditation. Today it happened to be “Sickness is not about aging; it’s about resistance.” Ironically, as I melted to the sounds of Enya, windchimes, rattles, and didgeridoos, I forgot all about my sore throat, runny nose, and general exhaustion. As I dove into stillness, the only nagging thought that came up a time or two in the first few minutes was “I could have just meditated at home.” And upon reflection, my practical self

COMO L I V I N G

knew that it wouldn’t have been the same. It can be truly difficult to create just the right supported setting without worrying that the family dog will come lick you on the face, a co-worker will ignore the “do not disturb” sign on your office door, or a garbage truck will come beeping by and break your focus. Free of the nonstop external distractions of work-from-home-mom life, I was truly at home within myself. Some words I scribbled down after the practice were “gentle” and “unwind.” I found that the benefits of the practice followed me home and stayed through the rest of my day. My heart and head were a bit more open, and my body was better rested. An additional perk is that after the class, I could stay to enjoy a cup of coffee or tea and peruse the store’s array of unique items. Or I could simply scoot back into the “real world.” Regardless of my approach, the price and setting of this practice made it an attractive option for escaping the buzz of daily life. Editor’s Note: The Noon Meditation and Stretch: Heart, Body, & Soul Connection is held every Tuesday and Thursday from 12:15 to 12:45 pm at Heart, Body, & Soul, located at 1004 W. Worley St.

DE C E MB E R 2 017 / JA NUA RY 2 01 8

Life

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SEASONS

GOOD ENOUGH?

Whe n w hat we n e e d i s t o forg ive oursel ves. by L I S A K E N T

he words are sharp, a staccato litany of frustrations ricocheting around the room. They’re mine, directed at my misbehaving teenager. Adrenaline shoots through my veins. Careful, I think, sucking in a breath, holding it. The silence echoes loudly. In my head, the diatribe continues. Shhhh, a gentle voice says. Stop now. My youngest stands in her PJs, 10 feet away in the darkened kitchen. Backlit by the hall light, she’s small for fourteen, but contrition renders her smaller. The fire has gone out in her eyes. “Go to bed,” I say in resignation. “Think about what I said.” I turn away, exhausted. Tirade over. In the living room, my husband sits, a witness. Abruptly, I’m awash with selfloathing. I lower myself onto the couch and draw bare feet under me. “She makes me so mad!” He listens to my rumination of dance steps well-rehearsed: I sacrifice, the kids exploit; I explode, they atone; forgiveness rounds out our choreography. Except for myself. I never quite forgive myself. Drained of my own fire, I see my daughter morph from provocateur to vulnerable teen; she’s done nothing her three siblings haven’t done before. “I need to go to her,” I say. Unfolding my legs, I head across the house to her room. I find her sitting up in bed. She’s been crying, hard. Her nose is stopped up. She’s breathing through her mouth and discarded Kleenexes litter the blankets. Her suffering torments me, but recrimination keeps me rooted at the door. She’s earned her remorse, as I’ve earned mine. “So,” I begin, but there are no words, just an unbreachable chasm. I hesitate and nearly retreat when the same gentle voice says: She needs her mother. Unlocked, I take the few steps to her bed, draw the covers

back, and climb in. She comes into my arms, lays her head on my chest, and erupts in fresh sobs. I stroke her hair. My lips brush her temple. “I’m sorry, honey,” I whisper. “I love you.”

I STROKE HER HAIR. MY LIPS BRUSH HER TEMPLE. “I’M SORRY, HONEY,” I WHISPER. “I LOVE YOU.” “I’m sorry, too,” she says, shoulders shaking. Choking, she sits up. Tears and snot mingle on her face. She swipes her nose across the sleeve of her T-shirt. Suddenly, she’s my precocious toddler, difficult even then, when I was no less flawed myself. A pang of longing rips through me. Was I a good enough mother? Did

COMO L I V I N G

I love her enough? My mind jumps forward: she’s a young woman and I’m remembering this moment, wondering of my angst-ridden 14-year-old: Was I a good enough mother? Did I love her enough? Time — fleeting, malleable — shifts backward, forward, and lands in the present. I hug my girl tighter, but still, I feel her slipping from my grasp. Motherhood is a wild ride, careening this way and that without much to hold on to. Instinctually, we clutch at passing moments, only to find fistfuls of air. We berate ourselves for imperfection, withhold compassion, and crave a forgiveness we alone can grant. When she is grown, will it have been enough? I can’t know, but here and now, sharpened by pain, soothed by absolution, and bathed in benevolence, I could not love her more. And that might be enough.

DE C E MB E R 2017 / JA NUA RY 2 01 8

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Live HEALTHY

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SAFE SLEEPING TIPS 1

Use a firm sleep surface, such as a mattress in a safety-approved crib, covered by a fitted sheet. Do not use pillows, blankets, sheepskins or crib bumpers anywhere in your baby’s sleep area. Keep soft objects, toys and loose bedding out of your baby’s sleep area.

Do not smoke or let anyone smoke around your baby.

Make sure nothing covers the baby’s head.

Always place your baby on his or her back to sleep, for naps and at night. Dress your baby in sleep clothing, such as a one-piece sleeper and do not use a blanket. Baby should not sleep in an adult bed, on the couch, or on a chair alone, with you, or with anyone else. Position baby’s sleep area near your own.

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DE C E MB E R 2 017 / JA NUA RY 2 01 8

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Lung Health

Winter Running Tips PROTECT YOUR FEET AND HANDS

DRESS IN LAYERS A rule

Keep your feet as warm as possible

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run. Try to avoid dressing

MU Health Care cardiothoracic surgeon Jussuf Kaifi offers these five tips to maintain peak lung performance. DON’T SMOKE There’s no safe amount to smoke.

too warm because extra sweating will cause your

EXERCISE The more you exercise, the easier it is for your lungs to keep your heart and muscles supplied with oxygen .

body to cool excessively in cold weather. Extra layers can easily be removed or added while running to maintain a comfortable temperature.

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clothing or running along routes with natural barriers can protect you.

CHANGE QUICKLY AFTER YOUR RUN Core body

—Aaron Gray, M.D., sports medicine physician at MU Health Care

temperature drops quickly after exercise. Change into warm clothing as soon as possible after running. Also, consider drinking a warm beverage.

COMO L I V I N G

—Jussuf Kaifi, M.D., cardiothoracic surgeon at MU Health Care

DE C E MB E R 2017 / JA NUA RY 2 01 8

Live HEALTHY

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WINTER WEATHER

DRIVING TIPS: Make sure your tires are properly inflated. Keep your gas tank at least half full. If possible, avoid using your parking brake in cold, rainy and snowy weather. Do not use cruise control when driving on any slippery surface (wet, ice, sand). Use your seat belt every time you get into your vehicle. Information available at exchange.aaa.com

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(hearing damage in one hour)

(hearing damage in 30 seconds)

(hearing damage in less than eight seconds)

(immediate danger to hearing)

—Arnaldo Rivera, M.D. Medical director of MU Health Care’s ENT, Hearing and Balance Center

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DE C E MB E R 2 017 / JA NUA RY 2 01 8

SPONSORED CONTENT

Diabetes Awareness

Heart Healthy Recipe

Diabetes is a condition that causes dangerously high blood sugar levels. The most common form is Type 2 diabetes. Type 2 diabetes results when the body does not make enough insulin or develops insulin resistance. Many people with Type 2 diabetes are not aware they have the disease. Risk factors for Type 2 diabetes that you can change: OVERWEIGHT/OBESITY Losing 5 to 7 percent of your body weight can cut your risk of developing diabetes in half. Risk of the disease continues to decrease with additional weight loss.

Sweet Potato Chili

PHYSICAL INACTIVITY Achieving 150 minutes of moderate aerobic activity each week can improve how well your body uses insulin and help you avoid type 2 diabetes.

INGREDIENTS 1 tablespoon plus 2 teaspoons extra-virgin olive oil 1 medium-large sweet potato, peeled and diced 1 large onion, diced 4 cloves garlic, minced 2 tablespoons chili powder 4 teaspoons ground cumin ½ teaspoon ground chipotle chile ¼ teaspoon salt 2½ cups water 2 15-ounce cans black beans, rinsed 1 14-ounce can diced tomatoes 4 teaspoons lime juice ½ cup chopped fresh cilantro

UNHEALTHY FOOD CHOICES Diets low in fiber and high in fats have been linked to increased risk of diabetes. Diets rich in fruits and vegetables may help to prevent diabetes.

DIRECTIONS Heat oil in a Dutch oven over medium-high heat. Add sweet potato and onion and cook, stirring often, until the onion is beginning to soften, about 4 minutes. Add garlic, chili powder, cumin, chipotle and salt and cook, stirring constantly, for 30 seconds. Add water and bring to a simmer. Cover, reduce heat to maintain a gentle simmer and cook until the sweet potato is tender, 10 to 12 minutes. Add beans, tomatoes and lime juice; increase heat to high and return to a simmer, stirring often. Reduce heat and simmer until slightly reduced, about 5 minutes. Remove from heat and stir in cilantro. Make Ahead Tip: Cover and refrigerate for up to 3 days or freeze for up to 3 months.

COMO L I V I N G

Controlling the risk factors that you can change can help prevent Type 2 diabetes and improve your quality of life.

—Michael Gardner, M.D., endocrinologist at MU Health Care

DE C E MB E R 2 017 / JA NUA RY 2 01 8

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Stop in, pour yourself a cup of hot tea, relax in a comfy chair, and peruse a book that catches your eye - or just enjoy a chance to catch your breath before exploring all the fun stuff HBS has to offer. From books on all spiritual traditions to one-of-a-kind jewelry, crystals,essential oils, herbs, teas,and inspirational decor items, along with a wide variety of classes, workshops, discussion and meet-ups groups, we have both the perfect gift and your back. So relax. Breathe. You’re good. Want to know more? Check us out at www.heartbodyandsoul.org!

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DE C E MB E R 2017 / JA NUA RY 2 01 8

LIFE COACHING

COMMITTING TO RHYTHMS Pri o r i ti ze your we l l - b e i n g da i l y.

by C A R O LY N PA R I S

p and at ’em. Brush my teeth, hit the gym, come home, walk the dogs, feed the dogs, eat breakfast, head to my office. Aaah, now it’s quiet time. Read, meditate, be still, visualize. These rituals are my “fundamentals” recipe to begin my day. These rhythms lay the foundation for a fun, satisfying, powerful life for me. When they are working, life just goes better. When they go missing, things become, well, more difficult. I was reminded of this recently. Tap tap tap. It sounded like an angel knocking on my home office door. I opened the door and indeed found an angel — my 18-month-old grandson, Oliver. He and his parents were using my home as a way station for a couple of months on their way to Seattle. Having my family stay with me was such a gift. Getting to be with my grandson on a daily basis made my heart sing. But I didn’t plan for was the effect on my “fundamentals recipe.” The sounds and smells from the kitchen were joyful — how could I stay away in quiet meditation with all this love and action? I couldn’t. Unfortunately, compromising my wellbeing began to take a toll. I’m an eight to nine-hour sleeper, but that presented a problem with an 18-month-old who doesn’t sleep through the night. I began sleeping through some of my mornings at the gym, which in turn lead to missing my quiet time, which tweaked everything else in my day too. It all added up to my brain not functioning at its normal level. I recall thinking “I’m going to write my next column on how to maintain a high level of well-being during challenging times.” Well, that didn’t turn out the way I had expected. I don’t have a checklist to give you. What I came away with was a renewed

commitment to my well-being and vitality. When my daily rhythms are missing, I don’t have the same level of resilience. My joy, power, and satisfaction are diminished.

TO MAINTAIN SUSTAINABLE HIGH PERFORMANCE, IT’S CRITICAL TO COMMIT TO HEALTHY WELL-BEING.

So, when you miss that morning at the gym, shake it off. No need to waste energy feeling shame and guilt. We get a fresh restart every single day. Create your wellbeing checklist of 10 things you need on a daily basis. Post it. Have a person that will hold you accountable. Staying on track with the things that support you is key to realizing your dreams.

C A R O LY N PA R I S

What I took away from this experience is that to maintain sustainable high performance, it’s critical to commit to healthy well-being. I once read a quote from Tony Robbins about this that I think rings true. ”If you don’t have ten f--ing minutes for your life, you don’t have a life.”

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As a consultant and coach, Carolyn works with highperforming people who are “up to something.” She guides clients to new levels of joy, power, and satisfaction in their life.

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UUNNLLEEAASSHEEDD

LEARNING TO LOVE Rummy finds family through Puppies for Parole. by N I C O L E F L O O D

n May, when Dan and Judi Schoonover decided it was time to add a furry friend to their family, they had no idea they would find such a perfect fit through Puppies for Parole at the Algoa Correctional Center, a program in which inmates care for and train dogs. “It just enthralls people to learn about Rummy’s story,” says Judi. “I love a good story, history, how you met. Rummy’s got a great story and history.” Rummy, whose name was Byron prior to adoption, lived in the his trainer’s cell from February to April to undergo training. “We like to say that Puppies for Parole is a win-win-win situation. All who are involved win: the dogs, shelters, community, offenders, and staff,” says Cyndi Prudden, Puppies for Parole coordinator. “We work with shelters or rescue organizations that are located near our correctional facilities. Dogs that come to us are often deemed unadoptable. Through P4P, dogs are finding love and attention. They learn to trust again and to socialize with humans and other dogs. In some cases, they are literally being saved, since they may have been slated for euthanasia.”

The Schoonovers have always been fond of rescue dogs. “Our dog was 17 and died in March,” says Judi. “We really wanted another dog and knew we wanted a wire-haired dog who wouldn’t shed. Our daughter-in-law found Puppies for Parole, and our family started watching to see when a good fit might come on the list. Rummy’s just perfect.”

“I LOVE A GOOD STORY, HISTORY, HOW YOU MET. RUMMY’S GOT A GREAT STORY AND HISTORY.” Rummy has never had an accident in the house and has a sweet and content disposition. He is kennel-trained, wellbehaved (though he does love to chew up paperback books), and also knows many tricks, like sit and shake. “We have a really big backyard — he’s so playful and loves to fetch,” Judi says. She adds that, as they near retirement age, his 24-pound stature is the perfect size. “We have small grandchildren and you never want to worry about them with pets. With Rummy, we’ve never had to worry,” says Judi. “He’s great with our grandkids and they play with him and pick him up. And he gets along with the grand-dogs.” All of the dogs from the program are trained in basic house rules and socialization, and they must pass the American Kennel Club’s “Canine Good Citizens” test. The dogs are also spayed or neutered and have all their shots. “Trained, well-behaved dogs are more desirable and, as such, are more likely to be adopted. Dogs find their forever homes with loving families,” Cyndi says. The trainer keeps a journal to track the dog’s progress and to help find the right

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match with a family. Judi says she finds it special to read Rummy’s journal, and she can tell through the way it was kept how much care and love went into his training. Puppies for Parole started in 2010 and has expanded to 19 of Missouri’s 21 correctional facilities. Cyndi says that the effect this program has on offenders is astounding. “The dogs bring unconditional love and acceptance to the offenders,” she says. “An offender’s background doesn’t matter to the dogs. They both get a second chance.” By working with the dogs, training them virtually 24 hours a day, the offenders get an opportunity to engage in restorative justice, Cyndi says, to repay society for the debts their crimes have cost. “In the prisons, we’ve seen this program have a profound effect on the offenders and staff,” she adds. “We believe it increases the safety and security of the prisons. Just the presence of the dogs in the facilities boosts morale for the staff and offenders.”

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F O R W H AT I T ’ S W O R T H

DECEMBER AT THE GALLERIES Ex hi bi ts fe a t u re t h e wor k of women master artists.

by M E L I S S A W I L L I A M S

he long struggle for women in the arts to receive equal representation in galleries is over. Columbia Art League Education Director Karen Shortt-Stout says that, at any given juried show at CAL, female artists today will outnumber male artists by a ratio of three to two. Orr Street Studios also has more female than male artists in their studios; right now the ratio is two to one. But a few decades ago, things were very different. Betsy Stockstrom, an artist working in St. Louis in the 1950s, told me she could only win admission to a juried show if her entry was labeled with her first initials rather than her first name.

The upshot here is that the Sager Braudis Gallery can still find women master artists from mid-century that remain under the radar compared to their male contemporaries. Rare vintage works by women like Leonora Carrington (19172011) and Juanita Guccione (1904-1999) will be on exhibit in the gallery’s beautiful display space during December. At Melissa Williams Fine Art, you can see the work of an important midcentury St. Louis painter, Belle Cramer. Also on display are works by master printmaker Brooke Cameron dating from the 1960s to present day. Bluestem has a special place in the history of women in the arts — after all, it was founded more than 30 years ago by women artists. This governance of a gallery by a committee of artists is unusual, but in the case of Bluestem, it has been phenomenally successful, leading the gallery to win national awards. This month, Gunilla Murphy joins the partnership at Bluestem. Gunilla, inspired by her Swedish great aunt, weaves gorgeous table runners, napkins, and hand towels. She was a student of one of the original founders of Bluestem, Barbara Overby. Also this month, Poppy is introducing the work of local ceramist and 1canoe2 owner Beth Snyder. Snyder’s ceramics, shown under the name Summer Kitchen Studio, are distinguished by a fresh color palette. Orr Street Studio artists will have their studios open to the public, featuring painting, photography, jewelry, fiber, sculpture, and more. Absolute Vintage is displaying contemporary work by Jennifer Simpson, and Elsa Kelley-Marcum’s paintings will be featured at Makes Scents. And when you’re browsing among the female artists showing at Columbia Art League, look for Amy Meyer’s “Strawberry” and Collette Brumbaugh’s “Lucky’s Market Flowers.”

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December Exhibits SAGER BRAUDIS GALLERY Masters Exhibit, December 1-30 Opening reception: December 1, 6 to 9 p.m. 1025 E. Walnut St. MELISSA WILLIAMS FINE ART Belle Cramer in the 1950s Brooke Cameron, printmaking Opening: December 1, 5 to 9 p.m. Upstairs at 11 S. Ninth St. BLUESTEM Gunilla Johnson Murphy, weaver Living Windows, First Friday 13 S. Ninth St. POPPY Beth Snyder, ceramics Living Windows, First Friday 920 E. Broadway ABSOLUTE VINTAGE Jennifer Simpson, featured artist Living Windows, First Friday 917 E. Broadway MAKES SCENTS Elsa Kelley-Marcum, featured artist Living Windows, First Friday 19 S. Ninth St.

MELISSA WILLIAMS Melissa Williams is a local art seller and broker and the owner of Melissa Williams Fine Art, located at 11 S.

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ENGAGEMENT

A NEW SEASON OF CHANGE Kathleen Oglesby to wed Kory McDonald. by K E N N E DY R O B I N S O N | ph o to by S C O T T PAT R I C K M Y E R S P H O T O G R A P H Y

ebruary 16, 2015, was a day that Kathleen Oglesby will never forget. She was involved in a sledding accident that left her paralyzed. This past May, more than two years later, Kathleen experienced another memorymaking day. Only this one had a much happier ending. The celebration started with a game, one Kathleen and Kory McDonald have played each of the last three years on their birthdays. The couple goes to four or five locations around Columbia, where they play a different mini-game; the loser pulls a funny consequence out of the consequence jar and must perform the action. While much more thoughtful and individual details go into its preparation, the game itself is relatively simple. Kathleen’s birthday game on May 31, however, came with a slight alteration. “The consequences are a total surprise for whoever’s birthday it is,” Kathleen shares. “So, Kory made up all the consequences. We went to Schnucks, the mall, his parents’ farm, and the fourth location was this deck on a trail that we biked on a lot. We played Tic-Tac-Toe Baggo, and I lost. But I didn’t realize that Kory had switched the cups — the new cup only had one consequence. It read, ‘Make up a poem in 30 seconds.’ So, since I lost, I had to make one up. After I finished, he said ‘Oh, I bet I could do better,’ and so he recited a poem that he had written, and then he proposed. It was really sweet.” The 23rd birthday-turned-proposal was followed by a backyard barbecue at Kory’s parents house, where the newly engaged couple celebrated with friends and family. Smiling ear-to-ear as she told me this story, Kathleen still couldn’t believe it happened. You might remember Kathleen from her “Seasons of Change” story in this magazine a couple years back, where she spoke with

us about her accident. “Nothing health-wise has really changed since then,” Kathleen says. “I still have those random spots of feeling, but nothing else really. It’s kind of like a waiting game pretty much.” After months of rehabilitation and physical therapy, Kathleen has been focusing on getting her life back to normal. Her story’s reach was far wider than she ever expected, and it left her completely stunned.

HE RECITED A POEM THAT HE HAD WRITTEN, AND THEN HE PROPOSED. IT WAS REALLY SWEET. “It was surprising. I got on Facebook and there were a ton of shares of the story and people had tagged me in it. Even people I hadn’t talked to in a long time — I was like, wow, its kind of cool that people care enough about your story to read and keep up with it,” she says.

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As Kathleen reflects back on her time after the accident, she is incredibly thankful for her support system. Especially Kory. “I think it was hard for him, but he was so strong and relaxed throughout the whole thing. He was the one who was saying, ‘We’ll take it one day at a time’ and ‘Whatever happens, happens’. It was so nice having that. It didn’t seem like it was a big deal to him, so then it made me feel the same way.” Since the accident, the 2016 MU graduate has been busy starting in the university’s nursing program, driving herself around in her new Scion, competing in triathlons, traveling the world — oh, and getting engaged, of course. When asked if she has any exciting upcoming plans, Kathleen laughed and explained that planning a wedding and being in nursing school would keep her plenty busy. The couple plans to wed on December 31 — ringing in a new year of love, marriage, and hopefully many more blessings for the future Kathleen McDonald.

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WEDDING CONFIDENTIAL

A TALE OF TWO SISTERS Sisters Anne and Kate Osbourne wed just months apart. by A N N E C H U R C H I L L | ph o to by R E B E C C A A L L E N P H O T O G R A P H Y

n the midst of working with Anne Osbourne, one of my brides this season, I found out that her sister, Kate, was getting married just a few months before her. While I see this a lot with friends, to see it with two sisters is an entirely different, potentially complicated thing. As a wedding planner, I help brides choose all sorts of things: their linen color, what band is best to keep the dance floor packed, etc. But family dynamics often keep me busier than anything else. So when I heard Anne and Kate were getting married so close together, I was intrigued to say the least. How was the planning going for them and their mother? I must say I am delighted — smitten, really — to share their experience after being a part of Anne’s big day on October 14 at the Sorenson Estate. Her family restored my faith in weddings! From the very start, Anne and Kate’s mom, Lori, made it very clear to her daughters that the key to planning their weddings in the same year was “Do not compare!” Just because one sister had something didn’t mean the other one couldn’t do it or couldn’t do something completely different. I could dive into the specifics of each wedding — how they had different guest counts, vibes, and locations — but that would be going against mom’s rule. Plus, that’s not the real story. What magically aligned at these weddings is much sweeter!

Proposals I think a standing ovation is deserved for anyone these days that takes the time, effort, and thought to ask for the blessing and permission of their future fiancée’s parents. This old school tradition should be a staple in every engagement. Both the Osbourne sisters have men by their sides that took this seriously: each asked the ladies’ parents for permission before surprising them with a proposal and celebration surrounded by family.

From left: Marian Dorn, Anne Hurst, Lori Osborne, and Kate Morse

Dresses Kate, being the first to get married, was very decisive. She knew exactly what dress was hers from the start, spotting a beautiful Allure Romance gown in a magazine. Anne, on the other hand, had no idea what she would end up with before she started her bridal shopping experience. The day she found “the one,” she brought all the ladies, including her sister, with her to pick out their favorite; to her surprise, the one she fell in love with was nearly identical to Kate’s pick.

Mom’s Bridal Suite Throughout the chats about the sisters’ weddings, the “bridal suite” at their parents’ house was referenced frequently. I came to find out that the ladies both stashed anything and everything wedding-related in a room at their childhood home. Early on in planning, Lori made both sisters a deal: “I will pay more for something if both of

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you use it!” Thus, they used the Bridal Suite, which made it much easier for the sisters to share. They ended up sharing whiskey barrels, signs, guest book pens, a cake knife, and a cake server. They even shared earrings, which ended up being Anne’s “something borrowed,” since she was second to walk down the aisle. With a little coordination, a lot of heart, and far less drama than there could have been, each of the Osbourne sisters had the wedding of their dreams, and hopefully a happily ever after as well. ANNE CHURCHILL Anne is the founder of AnnaBelle Events, a local event planning firm, and Jubilee Planning Studio, Columbia’s one-stop

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planning shop.

Visit TalkingHorseProductions.org for showtimes and tickets! An Antique Carol December 1-3, 7-10

Thursday, Friday, and Saturday performances at 7:30 p.m., Sundays at 2:00 p.m

A comic opera freely adapted from Charles Dickens’ “A Christmas Carol,” written by local maestro Hugo Vianello, founder and former conductor of the Missouri Symphony. Come see Talking Horse tackle opera in a black box theater! Titus Canby is the name of this version of Ebenezer Scrooge, and he is taken to task by the ghosts of past, present, and future to discover the true joys of life! This could become an instant holiday classic!

LIVE THEATRE in the Heart of Downtown Columbia Call: 573-268-1381 | Visit: 210 Saint James St, Columbia, MO 65201

COMO L I V I N G

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DATEBOOK NOVEMBER 30- DECEMBER 16 “Too Much Light Makes the Baby Go Blind: 30 plays in 60 minutes,” Columbia Entertainment Company, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, 7:30 p.m.; Sunday matinees at 2 p.m.

DECEMBER 3-7 March Family Christmas, an annual Victorian holiday celebration, Historic Senior Hall, 7:30 p.m. DECEMBER 4 “The Great Russian Nutcracker,” Jesse Auditorium, 7 p.m.

DECEMBER 1-3 & 7-10 “An Antique Carol,” a comic opera written by former Missouri Symphony conductor, Fridays and Saturdays at 7:30 p.m.; Sundays at 2 p.m.

12/01 12/04

DECEMBER 5 Aqueous quartet, Rose Music Hall, $10 in advance, 8 p.m. DECEMBER 5 Ekali with special guests Medasin + Judge, The Blue Note, $15, 8 p.m.

DECEMBER 1 Joyeux Noël: Chamber Music of Ravel and Fauré, First Baptist Church, 7 p.m. Living Windows Festival, The District, 6 to 8 p.m. Sager Braudis Masters Opening Reception, 1025 E. Walnut, 6 to 9 p.m. Exhibit continues all month.

DECEMBER 14-17 “Elf the Musical, Jr.,” Thursday, Friday, and Saturday at 7 p.m.; Sunday at 2 p.m.

DECEMBER 1- 3 “Anything Goes,” Macklanburg Playhouse, Friday and Saturday 7:30 p.m.; Sunday 2 p.m.

DECEMBER 17 Columbia Chorale performs “Symphony of Toys,” Missouri Theatre, 3 p.m.

DECEMBER 2 Jingle Bell Run Columbia, an ugly Christmas sweater 5K, Stephens College, 8 a.m. to noon.

JANUARY 1-3 “The Miracle Worker,” Hickman High School, $5 for students, $7 for adults, 7 to 10 p.m.

Stonegrinder 7K Trail Run, Capen Park, $35, 9 a.m.

MU ST DO IN D EC EM B ER /J A NUA R Y

DECEMBER 1 Living Windows Festival, The District, 6 to 8 p.m. DECEMBER 4 “The Great Russian Nutcracker,” Jesse Auditorium, 7 p.m. Image courtesy of Moscow Ballet.

DECEMBER 8-9 “Seussing Around” (junior production), 1020 E. Walnut St., Friday at 7 p.m. and Saturday at 2 p.m.

JANUARY 9 Puzzeled Pint, solve the puzzle to find the location, free, 6:30 p.m. to 9:30 p.m. Visit puzzledpint.com for info.

Danu: A Christmas Gathering Feile Na Nollag, an Irish ensemble, Missouri Theatre, 7 p.m. Farm Dinner No. 4: Air, Blue Bell Farms, 6 p.m.

JANUARY 17 Yoga with live cello, Missouri Theater, $10 donation, 12 p.m. to 1 p.m.

DECEMBER 3 Bobby Watson’s All-Star Made in America Quartet, Murry’s, 3:30 p.m. to 6 p.m.

JANUARY 27 Garth Fagan Dance Company, Jesse Auditorium, tickets start at $18, 7 p.m. to 9 p.m.

DECEMBER 3 “Once Upon a Time,” a fairy-tale inspired concert, Battle High School, 4 p.m.

JANUARY 28 Billy Childs Quartet, Murry’s, 3:30 p.m. to 6 p.m.

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DE C E MB E R 2017 / JA N UARY 2018

STRONG WOMAN

HEATHER WALL The adoption advocate inspires women to face hardships with confidence. ph oto by K E I T H B O R G M E Y E R

Heather Wall, the regional director of Lutheran Family and Children’s Services of Missouri and mother of six, shares what faith and family mean to her and why she’s so passionate about adoption. AGE: I just celebrated my 41st birthday in June. 40 is most definitely the new 30, right? Please say yes . . . YEARS IN COLUMBIA: I moved to Missouri three years ago from Omaha, Nebraska. I know I’m in Tiger country, but I will always be a Husker at heart. Good thing we’re no longer in the same conference. TELL US ABOUT YOUR FAMILY. Family is so important to me that I have made it my life’s work to support, advocate, and counsel families. I’ve always viewed family as more than just blood, so I shouldn’t have been surprised that I would build my family through adoption and add some bonus children through marriage. For several years, it was just my son Ean and I, but, in June 2016, I married Brandon and was blessed with five more children: Peyton, Dylan, Trinity, Noah, and Dane. So, like The Brady Bunch, we’re a family of eight and never have a dull moment. WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE A STRONG WOMAN? A strong woman is able to face trials with genuine confidence. A strong woman acknowledges she may need help and shows emotion, if that’s what is needed. Growing up, I often heard that crying was a sign a weakness. Well, I now know that it’s the complete opposite — crying is courageous and healthy.

WHAT IS A MOMENT IN YOUR LIFE THAT DEFINED YOU PERSONALLY OR PROFESSIONALLY? My life was forever changed when I put my trust in the Lord during a time in my life where trust was destroyed by someone I loved. Having that trust and faith, I not only got back on my feet, but I was blessed beyond words. It was this defining moment that strengthened me as a woman and got me to Missouri, where I have the privilege of working at my dream job. WHAT ARE FIVE THINGS THAT INSPIRE YOU? 1. When someone comes to the aid of someone else who needs help and random acts of kindness. 2. Not giving up, no matter how many times we fail. 3. Going out of your way to make other people happy and showing unconditional love to everyone. 4. People who don’t let their age define what they can or cannot do. 5. Farmers and soldiers.

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ON A TYPICAL WEEKNIGHT, WE COULD FIND YOU DOING WHAT? No matter what time it is or how much time we have (kids in sports often limit this), you will find me circled up at the dining room table with my family for dinner. Then, after tucking all my children in bed and during my short window of quiet time on the couch with my husband, I will fall asleep. WHAT ARE YOUR BIGGEST PASSIONS? One of my biggest passions is adoption. I love my son’s birth mother because without her courageous decision, I wouldn’t be a mom. I find joy in sharing our adoption story with other adoptive parents and birth mothers. My son’s birth parents and grandparents are family, and we look forward to visits together. It is wonderful to see so many people loving my son. WHAT SONGS WOULD BE INCLUDED ON THE SOUNDTRACK OF YOUR LIFE? “You are My Sunshine” for sure, and possibly an ’80s hair band hit or two. Yes, this may show my age a bit — and the fact that I may have used Aqua Net hairspray.

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Mid-City Lumber Co

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True False Film Fest University Club University of Missouri Health Care

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COUPLE YOU SHOULD KNOW Newlyweds Chris Scrivner and Arminta Phelps achieve balance at work and home. HOW DID YOU MEET? Chris: I was GM at a restaurant and was checking on guests to make sure their experience was up to expectations, and she was having lunch with her mom. WHEN WAS YOUR FIRST DATE? Arminta: September 25, 2013. We started at the patio at Bleu and then went to The Blue Note’s Summer Fest. We danced and laughed the whole night. It was wonderful! WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CULTUR AL AC TIVIT Y IN COLUMBIA? A: We really enjoy watching live music. Columbia is blessed with great venues like The Blue Note and Rose Music Hall. We love taking my son, Jackson, with us whenever we can.

WHAT’ S THE KE Y TO A L ASTING AND HE ALTHY REL ATIONSHIP? C: Just like what we teach our patients: if you want something to last a long time, you have to put in work and effort to keep it maintained and functioning properly. You can’t expect your relationship to be healthy if you’re not willing to invest time and effort into it. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE RESTAUR ANT IN COLUMBIA? C: CC’s City Broiler. A: Murry’s is one of our staples. HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN TOGETHER? C: We met on April 23, 2013, had our first date on September 25, 2013, and were married three years from the day we met on April 23, 2016.

WHAT MAKES YOU MOST PROUD OF YOUR PARTNER? C: She’s a genuine loving soul and a total gogetter who has an incredible vision of saving our community through empowering people to take action on their health.

TELL US ABOUT YOUR FAMILY. C: Arminta is so loving and passionate, and Jackson is a joy to hang out with every day. Watching him grow into this super smart, caring, young man is a blessing. We also have little Olaf, our dog, who provides comic relief and lots of snuggles.

WHAT IS UNIQUE ABOUT YOUR REL ATIONSHIP? A: What’s not unique about us? He manages my clinic, Achieve Balance Chiropractic, so we work together. We base vacations around music events or wellness conferences, since those are our two favorite things.

WHAT ARE THE BEST ASPEC TS OF YOUR PARTNER? C: She is a beautiful soul that expresses love like no one I have ever met. A: His down-for-whatever attitude. He totally supports my vision and mission, and he’s my rock. He helps keep me grounded and sane.

HOW DOES BUSINESS PL AY INTO YOUR REL ATIONSHIP? C: It’s not like business is business and home is home. They’re intermingled. Our friends are sometimes patients and our business colleagues are friends. When you own your own business, there’s always crossover because Achieve Balance is an extension of who we are. It’s definitely a balancing act to make sure that we don’t talk too much shop at home. A: It’s all one and the same. Our personal lives and our professional lives are just extensions of who we are. We embrace the fact that we get to save lives every day, go home have some awesome family time, and then do it all over again the next day. It’s really a blessing to get to do what we do every day.

Love Tree Studios

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COMO L I V I N G | 2001 CORPORATE PLACE, STE. 100 | COLUMBIA, MO 65202

From Bosch to Wolf Sub Zero we are your go-to appliance resource

We feature the revolutionary SERTA Icomfort sleep system

YES, SUNDAY TOO!

Folks, we’re delighted to remind you we’re here 7 days for your convenience. So, no matter what day you choose to visit, you’ll find the same fully outfitted show room, same great selection, and the same “world’s best” SERTA mattresses. And last, and anything but least, the same terrific service ---start to finish. Downtown Appliance Home Center and The Sleep Shop... two great stores in one!

John and Donnie at your service, including Sundays!

1104 E. Broadway • 573-874-3333 • DowntownAppliance.com