Daphne Colwell’s obituary Pages

from BWG Bangkok Contact Magazine July 2022

June coffee morning Pages

DAPHNE MARY COLWELL

The expatriate community in Bangkok lost a pillar and friend on Tuesday, 28 June 2022, when Miss Daphne Mary Colwell passed away peacefully at Bangkok’s Bumrungrad Hospital from natural causes linked to old age. She was 92.

Born in Symonds Yat in the West Midlands of England on 2 February 1930, she could never resist impishly pointing out that date was better known in North America as “Groundhog Day. ”

Daphne’s brother, Anthony (Tony) John Colwell, also born in Symonds Yat, predeceased her on 11 April 2010; his wife Anne died on 4 January 2021. The Colwells had three sons: Julian, David and Alex.

Daphne is survived by her sister, Shirley Godfrey, of Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada, and Shirley’s children, Mark Plumridge, and identical twin daughters, Fiona Moore and Sara Richard, also from Manitoba.

Daphne was preceded in death by her parents, Edgar William Colwell, who died in 1948, and Doris Irene Colwell, who died in 1990. Daphne was especially close to her father; she was also the very image of him.

The family home was situated high on a hill overlooking the Atlantic Ocean, the waves of which crashed into the rugged Cornwall coast below. The couple’s youngest child Shirley was the only one born in Cornwall. The family’s home was located not too far from the picturesque town of St. Ives; Daphne thought it was a wonderful place to grow up. She attended Penzance: West Cornwall School. Among the subjects she studied was French, her favourite.

After finishing school, her first job was as a secretary in a London law office. Daphne’s love of French, however, led her eventually to move to France “for three months” in order to improve her fluency. Because she had so carefully honed this skill, she was able to extend her stay by landing a job at UNESCO Headquarters in Paris. While working there, she learned Spanish as well. Owing to her language and administrative abilities, Daphne eventually was able to get a job at the United Nations Secretariat in New York in 1964.

Daphne worked for a senior officer in the Office of Personnel Services, where she met many high-level officials, some of whom became close friends as she was so personable, witty and highly intelligent.

Because she was fluent in two United Nations languages in addition to English as her mother tongue, she started to prepare in 1970 for the very rigourous editorial examination. She sat for the test the following year to see if she could qualify to become an editor. She passed the challenging examination, obviously with flying colours, and accepted the offer of a professional-level post as editor in the Department of Conference Services at Headquarters. Thereafter, she was always seen with her precious companion which she called “Dic,” her shorthand for the Concise Oxford English Dictionary, a standard reference for UN editors.

In her new role, she performed a variety of jobs in the Official Records Editing Section, where she edited parliamentary documents for the annual General Assembly and other important intergovernmental meetings and international conferences. All the time she was deepening her knowledge of editorial rules and United Nations editorial style, which requires great precision and meticulous attention to detail.

Outside of work, Daphne had a very vibrant social life in the city that never sleeps: movies with friends, theatre, parties, dinners and travel. Roberta Branham, a close colleague at Headquarters, said, “Daphne was a great spirit, with a fine mind – and wonderful fun to be with.” She particularly enjoyed tennis and table tennis, at which she was very good. She was Secretary of the UN Table Tennis Team.

In November 1975, Daphne was transferred to the Editorial Section of the United Nations Economic and Social Commission for Asia and the Pacific (ESCAP) in Bangkok. As the new 15-storey secretariat building was still under construction at the time of her arrival,

she worked from an office located in the old United Nations Building known in Thai as Sala Santitham (Pavilion for Making Peace).

Daphne’s first residence in Bangkok was a rented apartment in Charoon Court in the residential area of Phaholyothin Road; she later moved to the roomier nearby Tropicana apartment, close to her good friends Grania and Ron Skeldon. Because she became so busy with work and her non-stop social life, including, among other pursuits, British Club activities and involvement with various musical groups, Daphne hired Mrs. Prajim (also spelled Batjeem) Meesap to help her with domestic affairs. That relationship developed and deepened into true friendship. From that time more than 45 years ago, Khun Prajim would remain with Daphne for the rest of her life in Thailand. Khun Prajim, who has a most pleasing and gentle personality, is a fabulous cook and housekeeper. Both of them were serious tennis fans too, and enjoyed cheering on their favourite players when matches were aired on television.

Sometime in late 1981, Daphne accepted a job offer in Geneva to head the Official Records Section, which involved a promotion. She did not enjoy life in Geneva, however. She was pining for Thailand and her many friends there; the first opportunity she got about two and a half years later, she returned to Bangkok never again to leave except for holidays. With the resignation of her predecessor Don Gill a few months previously, she became the Chief of the Editorial Section. Thailand was now Daphne’s “home, ” and living in apartments was out. From then on, Daphne always rented houses, mostly in the Ari Samphan area off Phaholyothin Road but also in busy Sukhumvit Soi 49 and in Sukhumvit Soi 101, which then was far from the crowded areas of Bangkok. In all, Daphne lived in nine different residences, the last one being a large apartment, Sripat Court, in Phaholyothin Soi 4. Her friends had encouraged her to move into that spacious and secure apartment following the death of Khun Prajim’s husband at a time when many alien construction workers were building condos near her rented house and taking notice of two elderly women living on their own. In addition, her landlady had started hinting about converting the house into a restaurant if Daphne should ever move out.

One of the main reasons for choosing houses, which Daphne fitted out beautifully with Thai furniture and exquisite works of art, was the ability to hold parties in spacious gardens and so that her pet dogs could run around freely. Of all the dogs she had as pets, Whiskey and Soda were her favourites.

It was not only adults who loved Daphne. In the summer of 1989, Daphne’s close friend from Wales, David Jenkins, whom she knew in New York, was assigned to a senior post in UNDP Bangkok. His then 12-year-old daughter Valerie remembered the strong impression that Daphne made when she first saw her at Don Muang Airport –“a woman holding up a massive Welsh flag, greeting us with the biggest smile when we landed in our new home-city for the first time.” Valerie and her brother David as well as their mother Irene would become close to Daphne during their years in Bangkok.

During her assignment at ESCAP, Daphne became well known for her many talents and especially for her integrity and fairness, often being called on by the Division of Administration to chair committees to adjudicate disputes or propose solutions to delicate problems.

Those who worked for Daphne found her always approachable and reasonable. Merry Sabet, who one day would succeed her as Chief of the Editorial Section at ESCAP, said: “Daphne meant so much to me. She was a generous, compassionate mentor and friend who always looked for the best in people.” Daphne’s close friend Gabrielle Parry added: “There was no dissention or pettiness in her team, which was not always the case in other work stations within the Organization.” Daphne saved the career of one of her staff who had been maligned by a competitor who wanted to push her out so that she could take her higher-level post. Daphne also earned the gratitude of her secretary, Pranee Anamayatana, for getting a previously temporarily funded post regularized, thus enabling her to have a full career in the UN. Daphne also earned the respect of Voravudh Varivong for insisting on hiring him to fill the post of Administrative Assistant when the Personnel Section seemed determined to put a less qualified person into the post. He proved her right by performing at a high level; he was her right-hand man for detailed research work as well as running the office.

Daphne loved everything about living in Thailand, especially the gracious, mildmannered Thai people whom she found to be so elegant, kind, gentle and generous, not to mention fun-loving. Daphne never tired of learning about Thailand, its history and culture.

She also wanted to learn more about music. In her fifties, she started taking piano lessons from the then Queen of Thailand’s sister-in-law, Khunying (Lady) Arun Kitiyakara, at the stately Deves Palace on the Chao Phraya River. In addition to teaching Daphne how to play the piano, this highly placed relative of the Royal Family also shared her deep knowledge about Thailand.

Daphne absolutely loved every form of music, especially singing. She was blessed with a superb voice, initially soprano but eventually becoming alto as she grew older. She sang on Sundays in the Christ Church choir, as one friend said, “insisting to sing to the glory of God” and not get tangled in dogmatic issues. She also sang with the choir on special occasions, such as Annual Christmas Carols at Government House and Carol Singing for patients and staff at BNH Hospital. She sang at many concerts with the Bangkok Music Society. Her friend Jo Weir said that Daphne was proud to be part of the Alto Section for “The Glory” – a concert organized in October 1999 in celebration of the forthcoming Sixth Cycle (seventy-second) Birthday of His Majesty King Bhumibol Adulyadej.

Daphne wanted to share her love of music with others too. Together with some Thai friends, she was very instrumental in setting up a choral society in which young Thai people could enjoy singing classical Western music. Daphne also gave solo performances at UN evenings. One song she particularly loved to sing, according to her friend Veronica (Nikki) Flatt, was “Nobody Loves a Fairy When She’s Forty,” for which she dressed in a fairy outfit with a fairy wand.

Daphne also encouraged young aspiring singers from other countries in Southeast Asia, sponsoring them to attend operatic workshops. Some of them did indeed become opera singers. Even when she was ill and frequently in the hospital in her late eighties and early nineties, nurses and other staff would gather at her bedside and ask her to sing, which she did. Thrilled, they clapped and squealed with delight. She responded with a beaming smile, happy that her singing talent so pleased her little audience of caregivers and visitors.

Daphne also supported some needy children to attend school to as high a level as they were capable of attaining, some graduating from university. Khun Prajim’s daughter “A” considered Daphne to be one of her aunties and sought every opportunity to learn English by speaking with her frequently. Daphne also supported “A” to spend some time in the UK to improve her fluency in English. “A” was so successful that, by the time she was a young woman, she spoke English well with a British accent and married an Englishman; she currently works at the British Embassy in Bangkok.

Daphne joined the British Women’s Group in 2000. She regularly attended coffee mornings and lunches and was an active member of the Welfare Sub-committee. She and her fellow sub-committee member, Liz Dobson, took a particular interest in Shalem House in Soi Suan Phlu, which is a facility that provides accommodation and support for impoverished families that need to come to Bangkok from other parts of Thailand so that their children could receive specialized hospital care. The pair enjoyed going around Bangkok with Khun Pajim shopping for those families, and Daphne paid for a roof over the entranceway so that the visitors could use an outside area. Members of the congregation of Christ Church, including Daphne and Liz, comprised Shalem House’s major donors.

Daphne liked to observe certain traditions which she created, such as organizing annual birthday parties for all her friends who were fellow Aquarians, including Khun Prajim, Janet Farooq and her maid Noy, Grania Skeldon, Barbara and Derek Greenland, and Dr. Surachai Vichankaiyakij, the UN physician. Another such tradition was held around Christmas time. Daphne organized an annual cruise on the Chao Phraya River to a little peninsula in Pak Kret to enjoy a picnic with friends: “Derick the Teach” Garnier; “Derek the Biz” Greenland and his wife Barbara; David Jenkins and his wife Irene; John Loftus; Gabby Parry and some British visitors from overseas. She sometimes assigned fun names to friends to distinguish one from the other or just for pure fun; however, she made up some less-thanflattering names for people whom she found “difficult.” Daphne’s wry sense of humor was relentless; her quick repartee and wit would be difficult for almost anyone to match. Daphne was admired and respected by UN officers and staff at every level. Janet Farooq remembered that, when United Nations Secretary-General Kofi Annan was briefing staff during a visit to Bangkok, he noticed Daphne in the audience. He immediately left the podium and strode through the rows of seats just to greet her in person. At that time, she had already retired but was helping out with editing as she regularly did during particularly busy times and for major meetings. Upon her retirement in 1990, Daphne became a legal permanent resident of Thailand. Nonetheless, she owned an apartment in Ferney, France, which is just across the border from Geneva. She intended to enjoy holidays there when the weather got excessively hot in Bangkok. Throughout her life, Daphne developed deep friendships. Her friends were loyal and continued to stay in contact with her even after they retired and moved to other countries around the world. Nikki and Andrew Flatt maintained frequent telephone contact with Daphne from England and often returned to Bangkok to visit her. Likewise, when still in good health, Janet and Ghazi Farooq made annual visits from Vancouver Island, as did Ron (and sometimes Grania) Skeldon from the UK. Gabby Parry (several times) and Elisabeth Derek travelled from their homes in Europe to see Daphne and maintained frequent telephone contact. Other repeat visitors from several countries were Roberta Brangam, Dienne Miller, Federico Soda, Nicole and Sompol Suthimai, Jo and Colin Weir, Marcia Brewster, Samsiah Abdulmajid, Graham Taylor and one of her closest friends from the 1960s David Jenkins.

Another repeat visitor was Marguerite Manshreck-Head. On her most recent trip in February 2019, Marguerite became the last friend from abroad to visit Daphne before her health started to fail. She continued to remain in contact with Daphne by telephone, cards and letters from Ottawa. Merry Sabet was planning a trip from New York to see Daphne in early 2020, but the COVID-19 pandemic soon resulted in closed borders making the trip impossible.

Daphne had local Thai and international friends too numerous to name. Until she fell ill, Daphne was a member of a small group of like-minded UN retirees who met for a monthly lunch and pleasant conversation at le Normandie in The Oriental Hotel. The numerous friends of Daphne were her friends forever.

Although Daphne was still in the hospital when she turned 90, Khun Prajim organized a small birthday party for her at which there was no lack of gaiety and fun. The room was filled with friends, quiet conversation and soft singing so as not to disturb other patients. Daphne was blissful and even enjoyed a sip or two of champagne in the toasts to her recovery. “A” and her husband Martin Abel supplied a beautiful birthday cake decorated with a realistic sugar figurine of Daphne as a young woman wearing a white dress with purple flower designs and a matching bonnet. They showed the confectioner a picture of the real outfit and she matched it well. Being in the hospital didn’t diminish Daphne’s joy on turning 90 in the company of so many friends in a room filled with gifts, flowers and cakes.

Before the coronavirus outbreak got severe when Daphne was incapacitated, Khun Prajim would invite members of the Christ Church Choir to visit Daphne en masse in the apartment and sing with her and enjoy refreshments in a little party. Others who were frequent but separate visitors while Daphne was bedridden included her friends Mary Vongsuly, Norma Arya, Lynne Rohwer, and Liz Dobson who sometimes joined Daphne and Khun Prajim in watching tennis matches on television.

Not only had Daphne been an active member of the Christ Church Choir but she also had been at various times a member of the Parish Council. When health issues made it no longer possible for Daphne to attend church, she was visited regularly, at her apartment or in the hospital, by clergy from Christ Church and other members who prayed and shared communion with her. Rev. G. Steve and Marie Goode would frequently visit Daphne for these purposes and, while administering sacraments, would recite some relevant Bible passages and explain their deeper meaning to her. The essence of Christian belief in why death is necessary is clearly explained in 1 Corinthians 15.

While still in good health Daphne completed a will, in which she requested that upon her death a memorial service be held at her beloved Christ Church on the corner of Sathorn and Convent Roads, next to the former British Nursing Home, which is now called BNH Hospital. A selection of her favourite hymns chosen by her loyal friend Mary Vongsuly will be sung by friends and members of the choir. A clergyman will officiate.

As also stipulated in her will, half of Daphne’s ashes will be placed in the Memorial Garden at Christ Church and the remainder given to helper, dear friend and faithful companion for more than 45 years, Khun Prajim, for her to keep at her home. Khun Prajim remained her loyal caregiver even after Daphne fell seriously ill, eventually becoming bedridden for several years prior to the end of her life, and finally requiring 24-hour professional nursing care. No daughter could have loved and cared for her mother more than Khun Prajim did for Daphne. That bond of love is eternal.

Another of Daphne’s close friends from ESCAP, Keiko Kimura, made life as comfortable and secure as possible for Daphne, driving or accompanying her to see doctors, keeping track of her medications and making sure that all the many administrative matters were taken care of to give both Daphne and Khun Prajim peace of mind. When Daphne could no longer communicate by email with her many friends around the world, John Loftus, another of her friends from ESCAP, kept them informed about her health and any changes in her condition. He also acted as a sounding board for Keiko when important decisions had to be made concerning Daphne’s welfare.

During her long life, Daphne enriched the lives of all who knew her and loved her. Although Daphne is no longer with us, she will continue to live in the memory of all her many friends around the world.

May she rest in peace.