EAR CANDY PG

IT IS AN UNDISPUTED FACT THAT OF ALL THE ANIMAL SPECIES ON earth, primates are the most closely related to humans - in features, mannerisms, bad habits and actions. If you were looking for any proof, go no further than the story that unfolded last week -“Baboons run amok at Sydney Hospital”. Last Tuesday, three baboons escaped while being transported to Royal Prince Alfred Hospital (the “RPA” of prime-time television fame). The three escapees were a 15-year-old male baboon of average height and weight, wearing only a large pair of red underpants, and two smaller females who had been brought along to keep him company. The girls, Thelma and Louise, both had distinctive red hair and were sporting bright red lipstick at the time. Robert, the male baboon, was booked in to have a vasectomy, which he had apparently not consented to having, and was keen to avoid. Aft er picking the locks on their cage in the transportation vehicle, Bob and his two wives made their break for freedom when the truck door was thoughtlessly swung open to let in some fresh air, as it had been a very hot day.

Aft er their successful escape, Bob, Thelma and Louise did what anyone would do, and sought out a pub. Their celebrations were brought to a premature end when it turned out the hotel they had chosen had a strict responsible service culture. Aft er 3 schooners each, the girls became quite loud and obnoxious, and were refused service. Bob went off , and, baboons being baboons, the place was trashed in less than 5 minutes. The police were called, along with the local vet, and the adventure was over. The vasectomy then proceeded without further incident. In follow up investigations it has been disclosed that Bob is doing as well as can be expected, although the bruising is quite substantial, as you might imagine. Medicare has agreed to pick up the tab for the pub – adding it to the hospital rebate. And the transportation company found its set of spare keys in Thelma’s handbag, along with four wallets, a fake ID, and three half eaten bananas. Apart from the fact that Bob had 25 wives at home, this could have been just another episode of “RPA”, or “Bondi Vet”. Baboons, gorillas, chimpanzees – when they’re not hard at work, they could probably hang out and chill in the Bay just like you and me. We are aft er all the home of Australia’s fi nest bananas! Tony, Byron Bazaar

This week's recommendation ALBUM TITLE: The Slow Rush ARTIST: Tame Impala RELEASED: February 2020 GENRE: Psychedelic Rock, Disco House BIO: Tame, whose real name is Kevin Parker has just released his 4th album that was writt en, recorded and produced by himself. He has worked with A$AP Rocky, Lady Gaga and Mark Ronson. Vice Magazine named him "Artist of the Decade" for the 2010's citing his genre-hopping sound and isolated creative process that embraces technology. His live band includes members of psychedelic rock band Pond. WHAT TO EXPECT: The sound holds true to the album title, Slow Rush, the release grows slow and builds unique energy that intensifi es in the 2nd half. It’s a clever blend of genres fusing rock and dance that is heavy in eff ects and audio processing. WHAT WE LIKE: The jungle of sound layers and eff ects are well arranged and produced with Tame’s voice glowing and sparkling amongst the orbiting synths and guitars. If you are willing to go with it you’ll be rewarded with a melodic, hypnotic musical trip venturing across rock, pop, and dreamy club dance-fl oors. It is all threaded together by lyrics of life’s moments as time rolls on forward as sung on Tomorrow’s Dust “And there's every chance I'll be there and past, And the day will come, and then it will pass” & “And in the air of today is tomorrow's dust”. In summary, it’s a grooving, enchanting funky 57 mins. STANDOUT TRACKS: Borderline, Is It True, It Might Be Time PERFECT FOR: The slow-release of endorphins. Yoga and pilates fl ow. Sunset DJ sets. LISTEN IN IF YOU LIKE: Methyl Ethel, Daft Punk, The Weekend, MGMT.

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