STAYING GROUNDED IN UNCERTAIN TIMES

MS. KELLEY GRIMES, MSW

COVID-19 has disrupted our lives in so many ways and left us feeling fearful and anxious. A recent Time Magazine article reported that “mental distress among Americans has tripled during the pandemic compared to 2018. Last month, roughly 70% of Americans experienced moderate-to-severe mental distress – triple the rate seen in 2018,” according to Jean Twenge, coauthor of the study and a professor of psychology at San Diego State University.

With so many people quarantined and feeling heightened levels of anxiety, there may be more complaints than usual and an urgency to have the issues resolved immediately. Many people are feeling overwhelmed by the Impacts of social distancing, isolation, health concerns, balancing responsibilities of family and work, and financial uncertainty. Chronic stress causes us to operate consistently from our amygdala or the fight/flight part of the brain. Stress heightens our reactivity and the more our amygdala is activated the less calm and grounded we feel, and the less creative we are in our problem solving.

Understanding the unprecedented levels of stress we are all experiencing is critical to staying grounded in these uncertain times. When we are able to recognize how stress is impacting us and those we work with, we can choose empowered strategies to effectively address the problem and avoid escalating it. As leaders in our communities we can have a positive impact by intentionally cultivating ways to stay grounded as we navigate this challenging time. Here are 5 ways to stay grounded in uncertain times:

1. Begin by choosing not to take things personally. When we intentionally choose not to take things personally, we naturally connect to others with more empathy and compassion. Coming from compassion makes it much easier to avoid getting defensive and to make space to hear what the other person is saying. In these times when there is so much unknown, choose not to make assumptions and take things personally.

2. Manage your own stress. When you notice that your stress is high, take a break. Cultivate self-nurturing practices like taking a walk, exercising, meditating, yoga, deep breathing, journaling, gratitude practice, etc. The more you manage your own stress, the less other people’s stress will overwhelm you and the more you will be able to help create a more peaceful environment in your community.

3. Cultivate a non-anxious presence by choosing to pause, breathe, ground, and listen when addressing an issue. Use the STOP practice when feeling your anxiety creep in before responding– stop, take a breath, observe, and then proceed. If you practice this strategy throughout the day, you will notice when your stress level has increased and can make an empowered decision to do something nurturing before you become overwhelmed. Non-anxious leaders are the most effective in resolving problems and helping to decrease anxiety in difficult situations engendering more trust.

4. Engage in active listening. Now more than ever, active listening skills are required to support others personally and professionally. When we choose to actively listen and use reflective listening skills, we acknowledge, affirm, and hear the need under the complaint. You can reflect feelings you hear, acknowledge the challenging experience the person is having, and summarize what you have heard in order to see if you missed anything. Bringing your full attention when listening will support you in active listening, as will not taking things personally, managing your own stress, and cultivating a non-anxious presence.

5. Understand the scope of your role and limits of your responsibility. We are more sustainable and effective in our jobs when we remember the scope of our role and do not try to take on more responsibility in the situation than we have. We cannot fix everything and reminding ourselves that we have a role to play as do others, can be very grounding. Clarify your role and then reach out to others to support the resolution of the problem.

These unprecedented times require that we cultivate an ability to respond non-anxiously, and with compassion, in order to support our communities like never before. Knowing that we are all going through this difficult experience together can deepen our empathy and compassion and guide us in bringing more kindness and peace to the world. Out of this challenge can blossom incredible opportunities for us to positively impact our communities by bringing our non-anxious leadership and remaining grounded in these uncertain times. May you feel empowered to do so!

Kelley Grimes, MSW, is a counselor, speaker, internationally bestselling author and self-nurturing expert. She is passionate about empowering overwhelmed and exhausted individuals to live with more peace, joy, and meaning through the practice of self-nurturing. Kelley also provides professional and leadership development to organizations dedicated to making the world a better place. She is married to an artist, has two empowered daughters, and loves singing with a small women’s group.