CRIME STORY: EMBEZZLEMENT

By: MS. Terri Guest, CIRMS, CMCA, Berg Insurance Agency

It seems that, more and more in our industry, we hear about community associations being taken advantage of by those they should trust. Community managers, members of the boards of directors and even vendors conspire to embezzle funds from the associations they work with. These people are often seen as criminals who care nothing for those from which they steal. Their co-workers and fellow board members feel tricked and taken advantage of, believing they never really knew them at all - thinking that those they believed were friends were actually faking it just to make a cash grab. I’m here to tell you another side of the story.

I’m an insurance agent who specializes in community associations. One of my best friends was convicted of embezzlement from a company we both worked for, and I had no idea. There were clues, but I didn’t realize what was really going on because she was my friend, and I didn’t believe she could be capable of something like that.

While the company is not part of the CID industry, I thought it might be helpful to interview her; to share the other side of the story in order to provide help and hope.

To protect her identity, we will call her “Mary” (M).

T: How did this start?

M: I was in a relationship with someone. He informed me that he had used my work credit card to purchase flights for his daughter for custody visits. I freaked out, but instead of turning him in, I became scared and selfish and decided to try and figure out how to fix things at work. But I wasn’t scared enough to make positive choices. I guess I was more scared of getting caught and losing my son. I then continued to make bad choices and used the card myself to help get my stepdaughter flights, as well as pay for food and some bills in an attempt to get us caught up. It was not rational, it was not right, but that is what happened and is the sad, embarrassing truth.

T: Did you feel like you were owed this money by the company? Did you feel like it was making up for something?

M: No, that wasn’t the feeling. They didn’t owe me a thing. I made the choice to allow what happened and continued until I could no longer look at myself in the mirror.

I remember visiting “Mary” on vacation with my family. We stopped at a store to pick up some souvenir t-shirts. She picked out a super cute leather jacket and decided to buy it. When she pulled out the company credit card, I questioned her about it. She assured me that she always paid it back and just did it “to get the points”. Because we worked for the same company for many years, and I knew how respected she was there, I reconciled this in my head as a perfectly logical answer. In truth, it wasn’t.

T: Did it feel wrong, or did you mentally reconcile it in some way?

M: Absolutely it felt wrong. I kept telling myself “just one more ticket or some more groceries or an electric bill and then I’ll stop.” It wasn’t all the time, it came in spurts. But it absolutely felt wrong. That’s why I finally turned myself in—I couldn’t handle what was going on inside my head. The guilt was horrible and painful. I was completely disgusted with myself

The thing about “Mary” is that everyone turns to her for advice when they have a problem. I’ve known her since 4th grade, and it has always been this way. In my friendship circle, she has always been the rock, the friendly shoulder. Dumped by the boyfriend? Call Mary. In trouble with the parents? Call Mary. Looking back, I realize she rarely reached out to anyone for help. We were all so close, but we had no idea that her world was imploding. There were signs, but we didn’t see them until it was almost too late.

T: What were your emotions during this time?

M: Money became a struggle and things continued to get more stressful. The guilt then began to set in. As time went on and things weren’t getting better or caught up, I was just deeper in a bad situation. I knew that if I didn’t find a way to stop it, my problems would get so much worse. I hoped that turning myself in would help me some legally. I decided to write a letter to the company explaining everything, guiding them to what they would need once I was gone, providing them with all my logins and passwords.

By ‘gone’, “Mary” meant, gone. While she didn’t tell this part of the story when I interviewed her, I know it all too well, and it is the part that breaks my heart the most. “Mary” felt that the only way to protect those that she loved and to get herself out of this terrible situation, was to kill herself. Obviously, she did not succeed, and I am thankful for that every day. So is she, and so are her friends and family.

M: My life was good, I was not living on the street, I wasn’t eating out of the garbage bins, I had clothes and was a good mother. When I look back at the events, it is very tough to watch the slow-mo that plays in my head. After a LOT of therapy, I have been able to work on dealing with everything. Personally, I realized the incredible people I have in my life and never want to take that for granted. If it weren’t for my family and friends, I couldn’t have made it through. I am a stronger person today for things I have gone through. I don’t feel like I am dumb or ignorant. I knew right from wrong. I would tell others that none of what happened was worth it on so many levels. It doesn’t affect just you; it affects everyone you know. I will live with the guilt of what I have put everyone through, every day, for the rest of my life. I hope that I never forget or get complacent as I want others to learn from my terrible choices.

“Mary” went on to serve 10 months in a work release program and 11 years later continues to pay back the money she owes per the judgement she received. While she no longer has use of any company credit cards, she did discover a similar pattern and helped her employer (who knew of her past) uncover a string of fraudulent charges by the office manager. “Mary” explains how she figured it out:

M: The one thing that was strange is she never allowed anyone else to help with the books. She handled all the cash and check deposits as well as paid all the bills. When she was out of the office for a 3-week vacation, she finally allowed someone else to handle reconciliations and deposits. I noticed discrepancies in postings but didn’t want to rock the boat and be wrong. Then, when the decision was made to expand the company, financials were being reviewed by investors. They point blank asked me if I believed if embezzling was taking place (they all knew of my history) and I told them I had suspicions, so we dug deeper. I pulled records from offsite storage and found accounts that the investors knew nothing about. We were able to track cash and checks that were given to her but never posted.

“Mary” is still one of my dearest friends, which is how we were able to have some tough conversations to write this article. While she is still the rock and friendly shoulder in our friendship circle, she knows that we have her back and always will. That’s what friends are for.

If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts, understand that you are not alone. Get the help that you need. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline provides 24/7 free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones. Call 1-800-273-8255 or visit suicidepreventionlifeline.org

Terri Guest, CIRMS, CMCA is a Sales & Marketing Rep for Berg Insurance Agency. She can be reached at terri@berginsurance.com