From the Experts

Fostering a Culture of Respect

Our Senior School Counsellor, Ms Elizabeth Grant, offers advice on how parents can continue the discussion on respectful relationships at home.

Respect is one of the core values at Camberwell Grammar and refers to the due regard for the feelings, wishes, and rights of others. Respect features frequently in the media as communities endeavour to make all people feel included, celebrated, welcomed, and valued.

At Camberwell Grammar, we encourage respectful relationships with others by modelling respectful behaviour, such as treating others the way you would like to be treated, and applauding effort in others – whether it is in a production, musical performance, sporting achievements, or presenting to the class. Children and young people are always watching and observing, so it is essential to be aware of how you respond when you think no one is watching. Being polite to the Barista in the busy coffee shop, showing respect for umpires and coaches at sport, showing patience and saying thank you to the staff at your local supermarket, and generally being kind to others whenever possible.

Camberwell Grammar helps to support respectful relationships in a variety of ways. It is encouraged in all classrooms, between students, and between staff. Team captains are given opportunities to lead their teams and show respect to both officials and the opposition – whether it is a debate, a game of football, or a fundraising initiative. We have a range of programs at different levels that focus on all our values, including respect. Teaching empathy is a theme woven throughout these programs so that young people can see things from another’s perspective. Across the School we encourage the sharing of ideas, the appreciation of differing perspectives, and working together collaboratively.

As representatives of the School, students and staff demonstrate respect for the School rules and values, respect for each other, and respect for others within the community at all times. Students are very in tune with what is right, and will seek out support for another student if they feel that they need assistance or support. This can be seen when students quietly acknowledge a student’s return after an absence, and work quietly with a shared understanding that the student may need the teacher’s help.

Our students value the pastoral care provided by the School, and are taught to identify ‘go to’ people that they can trust and seek out if there are issues that may be troubling them. The range of multi-age activities across the school such as Cadets, Junior School Mentors, orchestras and choirs, and various sports teams allow for cross-age mentoring of younger students by older students.

Parents can help their children understand other perspectives by:

• discussing varying views on different issues;

• talking about emotions and a range of feelings with people they trust as a healthy way for young people to strengthen resilience;

• acknowledging when a child or young person is upset or disappointed, as well as when they are proud or excited;

• reassuring them that dealing with success, failure and disappointment are equally important for the development of compassion for others;

• understanding that sometimes just being able to sit and listen to someone is important, showing empathy and respecting their space and need for quiet reflection in a supported way.

Both teachers and parents can discuss characters and their behaviour in a TV show or movie and call out disrespectful behaviour. There is a great deal of evidence in the media, both print and social, regarding respect and the importance of modelling appropriate behaviour early.

We want to prepare all our students for life beyond school, and respectful relationships are imperative in life. When students leave school they may travel, go to university, start a job, or try any range of things, but showing regard, courtesy, and empathy for others will assist them on their journey. Showing thoughtfulness and consideration can enrich all relationships, and the benefits achieved are endless.

Ms Elizabeth Grant

Senior School Counsellor

Further resources:

The Australian Government has set up a website for both education and assistance: www.respect.gov.au/

The ‘Stop it at the Start’ campaign aims to help break the cycle of violence by encouraging adults to reflect on their own attitudes and have conversations about respect with young people. The campaign is aimed at parents and family members of children aged 10–17, as well as the teachers, coaches, community leaders, and employers of young people.

The school subscribes to SchoolTv and there are a number of resources there that can be accessed at any time: www.cgs.vic.schooltv.me/

There is some helpful information on Kids Helpline: www.kidshelpline.com.au/teens/issues/all-about-respect

American professor Brene Brown has created a lovely clip to explain empathy: www.youtube.com/ watch?v=1Evwgu369Jw