REAL TALK

WISE WORDS FOR WEDDING WOES

by Lisa Manfield

Q: We’re trying to keep the budget down with a cash bar. How do we communicate this to guests without seeming cheap? Or is there an option somewhere in between a cash bar and open bar?

A: First of all, don’t fret—cash bars are common, says Eron Jaskow, owner of Encore Events. “They’re typically more common in halls or at farm weddings, where you can supply your own bar and alcohol at a fraction of the cost of a bar at a hotel or golf course.” Jaskow adds, “Just be sure to let your guests know that’s what’s happening. That way you remove the elephant in the room.” If you’d prefer to host a portion of the bar, try a smaller offering. “Provide a few select drinks like beer, wine and ciders,” Jaskow says. “Or, if you want to have a signature drink, have it premixed with minimal garnish for quick and easy dispensing.” Other options include offering drinks by donation, having a toonie bar or reduced-price drinks, or providing a complimentary cocktail hour or dinner wine. And if those compromises aren’t doable, simply advising of the cash bar on the invite is acceptable. “However, you may also wish to suggest gifts and cards are not required,” Jaskow says. “Guests will be less likely to complain when they understand you do not wish for anything in return but their presence at your celebration.”

Q: I’ve been to so many bridal showers that feel stiff and boring. How do I make sure mine is full of fun and bonding for my family and friends?

A: “The most amazing bridal showers are the ones that are best coordinated,” says Elena Ismail, owner and lead planner at FluffyBlooms Events. “I always tell my clients that you don’t have to have a huge budget; it’s simply about putting in creative thought.” The two elements Ismail thinks are critical? Decor and activities. “Decor sets the mood; it’s the first thing guests notice when they arrive,” she says. It can also be a thoughtful way to personalize the event. “Let’s say the groom proposed in Mexico or the bride always wanted to visit Paris; it can be simple and relatively inexpensive to recreate those atmospheres.” Ismail adds that decor can be tied to themed games and activities. “Fun activities allow people to fall into conversation without feeling awkward, and they can create memorable friendships.” If games aren’t your thing, try an activity like cooking the bride’s favourite meal together. “Guests will feel useful and engaged,” Ismail says, which is exactly what you’re aiming for. Because while a bridal shower is about the bride, she notes, it should be inclusive. “Guests might not care about the food, decor or games, but they will remember how they felt at the event.”

Q: I don’t need a wedding registry (we’ve got all we need!) but my family is pressuring me. How do I navigate this?

A: If this sentiment feels familiar, you’re in good company, says Jeanine Wilk, principal planner with Niche Events, a boutique wedding planning and styling company. “I find the majority of couples are hesitant to sign up for wedding registries these days,” she says. “Most couples have lived together prior to the wedding, so the need for ‘stuff’ is not as important as it used to be.” Wilk has a few recommendations for those who want to accommodate their guests’ desire to give a gift. “I’ve had quite a few couples provide links to charities close to their hearts on their wedding website so people can donate on their behalf,” she says. But for those feeling obligated to have a registry for guests who prefer to give a physical gift, she suggests signing up for daily-use items you know you’ll need. “My top recommendations would be kitchen towels and cooking utensils, a white bathroom towel set for two, good-quality knives and a heavy wood cutting board.”