THE SKY IS THE LIMIT.

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(Surprisingly, my skepticism was replaced with what seemed like actual zen about 48 steps in.) Even an afternoon massage started with a thermal infrared scan on my body to see where inflammation and tightness were lurking. The more I interacted with the team, the more I realized that the place was all experts, like a wellness version of The Avengers Marcus’s last job was training Navy Seals on goal-setting before missions. Prior to chatting with me about snacking habits, Quentin had been doing nutrition for a pro hockey team. My walking meditation guru had cashed out of Microsoft a few years before to devote his life to a higher calling. Everyone spoke about Sensei more like a tech start-up than a resort. This was the beta version of a program they believed would one day be rolling out across the globe, bringing people information and tools to advance and improve their lives.

And then there was Liron. The entry on my itinerary simply said “Aquatic Bodywork: 120 mins,” so as I ducked into one of the resort’s freestanding hales (their luxe version of treatment rooms) I had no idea what to expect other than water. For the next hour, Liron directed me as I floated in a small warm pool with my ears underwater and my eyes looking skyward, while he tried to understand how my body should move and what was holding me back from achieving more integrated control of my muscles. It not only sounds airy fairy to the nth degree, but also, to someone who can’t watch a YouTube video without simultaneously checking my iPhone, torture. But it was not—I entered some sort of dreamlike reverie for I don’t know how long and, after Liron had completed his indepth assessment, we went to the treatment table where we worked on the muscles he decided were most in need of some fine tuning. Revelatory.

YOU ARE ALREADY BEAUTIFUL Lightweight. Volumizing. Long-lasting.

FLUTTER MASCARA

VEGAN, PARABEN-FREE, CRUELTY-FREE, PEG-FREE AND TEA-FREE

Epilogue

I went back. Throughout the pandemic I continued to follow the resort’s progress as it closed for several spells during the heart of Hawaii’s lockdown and then opened on a more limited basis, allowing guests to opt out of the all-inclusive nature of the original concept in favour of just booking a room and adding the sessions à la carte. They were still offering this model when I was feeling ready to travel—and were throwing in a free flight from Honolulu to boot—and I uncharacteristically said to my wife, “I want to go back.” So we did. Not much had changed—I was again onboarded by Marcus, who greeted me like an old friend, and found out that, despite a pandemic’s worth of near-daily Peloton rides, my body fat had only decreased by 1.2 percent. There was a massive new Jeff Koons sculpture placed in the lobby (“We had to reinforce the floor, it’s so heavy,” personnel confided) that Ellison had reportedly gifted to himself for Christmas. I spent seven nights there, and at the end it was the single largest hotel bill I’ve ever been handed (there was a brief moment of respite when it seemed lower than expected, until my wife reminded me ofthe 20-percent deposit we had already paid). So I hope that tells you how I feel about this place. I mean, how do you put a price on endless life?