End of an Era A celebration of the polaroid Art & Sole Shoes by NDEUR fo that oneof-a-kind type of girl
Soft Kisses Delicious art by Silke Werzinger Procrastinatastic! The woes and ways of the art of advoiding work
The Fall of Tibet
TIBET AND BEIJING 2008 - WHAT IS REALLY HAPPENING? +
THE MIN T CH ICK S, THE BLU E CRA NES , THE STO LEN SW EET S & SUP ERF UN HAP PYB AND !
www.createhere.org
bubbly contributors
editor loretta jux creative director loretta jux
senior photographers loretta jux, jane guan senior contributors anne gables, loretta jux, janet mao editorial contributors lance kramer, michael ricci, lisa dibb, frank ahrens, jesse ship, holy taco, courtney clough photographic contributors dump hakim, lauren treece, ryan & joelle flood, jason powers, camille verrier, laguna niguel, paul morse polaroids submitted by various artists listed here: http://harmonious-madness.deviantart.com/favourites/#Polaroids advertising marketting executive loretta lux advertising & production co-ordinator loretta lux
contributions champagne welcomes art, story and photo contributions but we will not hold ourselves responsible for uncolicited contributions. for editoral and photographic submission guidelines, please email bubblysubmissions@decemebersix.com. champagne will retain reprint rights, contributors retain all other rights for resale and republication. champagne.decemebersix.com
champagne is proudly published by issuu general manager loretta jux creative director loretta jux managing editor loreta jux digital co-ordinator loretta jux it manager loretta jux proofreader loretta jux
COVER: illustration by naja conrad-hansen miscellaneous graphic by rafael maia
bubbly contents
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22 the end of an era a feature for the celeration of the polaroid picture 26 art & sole the shoes of NDEUR 38 the fall of tibet the story behind the images of tibet 42 i like soft kisses featuring art by silke werzinger 54 procrastination sensation the woes and ways of the beast named porcrastination
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10 editor’s message we bring you the firrst issue of Champagne 12 letters messages of support 16 the blue cranes indie jazz pigs of portland 17 the stolen sweets boswellian delights of sweet music morsels 18 the mint chicks NZ supergroup and their music
20 superfunhappyband! interview with homegroup talkent with a great name 28 paid to make girls panic anne gables ponders her let downs 30 i dream of summer photoraphy by loretta jux pretty faces by shalia & dylan 46 6 annoying people in starbacks title says it all, bring it on! 48 burgers withp pesto easy fancy tasty stuff 49 lemon pepper pop-overs baked sweet desserts 50 music & book reviews the latest books and albums from our favourite authors and artists 56 gig gluide where the party’s at
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editor’s message
Pop Fizz Sparkle Welcome to the launch of Champagne. We are bold, we are beautiful and we are bubbly.
Hello and welcome to the first issue of Champagne webzine! We are a non-for-profit free online magazine published quarterly by Issuu and dedicated to featuring the arts and culture. Art, music, fashion, the world, you named it. In this issue we include the jazzy folks from Portland, Oregon The Blue Cranes and the Stolen sweets as well as NZ superstars The Mint Chicks. We also snagged an interview with the up-and-coming Melbourne group SuperFunHappyBand! And if that doesn’t get you excited, we’ve added another interview with graohic shoe guru NDEUR and a feature of German artist Silke Werzinger. Focusing on the world around us, we investigate behind the scenes of Tibet and the 2008 Olympics as well as into your own lives, with Anne Gables. Like every other great thing, we have our humble beginning— right here, our maiden issue. So, with celebrations underway, we’d like to present to you Issue #1 of Champagne. We hope you enjoy it, happy reading! Loretta xx
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bubbly letters Honestly, Champagne, what better than a sparkling drink fizzing with life and bubbles? A sparkling magazine fizzing with life and bubbles. And how can that get any better? By being free and easily accessed over the webs. You have certainly hit the spot. This is the beginning of something wonderful, something which hopefully will last for a long time, and I will most definitely be looking forward to your future. Congratulations on the first issue honeys, and let’s pop a bottle of the good stuff to celebrate. Cheers, Chantelle Dear Bubbly, I have high hopes for you. When I get excited over something, I get really excited. And right now, I am itching to get my cursor onto your zine. Few things live up to expectations, so please, please please please let this be as wonderful as I wished. Love, Sadie Hello Bubbly, surfing the MySpace scene I happened to stumble upon your zine. I was instantly struck by the prospect of your contents - music, art, culture, design and all the fun stuff. I just can’t wait until it comes out. Here’s a toast to the first issue! Cheers, Lisa Hi Bubbly, best of luck and wishes to your obvious future success. The best things start small and this is where we are. Here, with you on your launch, where one day we will look back and think “hey, don’t you remember our first issue, when this all got started?”. This is our humble beginnings where we start to pave our road. So, I’m going to leave my mark here in the metaphorical wet cement in the most juvenile way, but I’m showing you all I was with you from the start. ANNIE WUZ HERE ‘08
“Hey, Bubbles!” Don’t pass by without saying a ‘hello!’ Send us an email and drop us a line. All pen enlargement-related ads and spammy goodness goes to:
dearbubbly@decembersix.com
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Dear Champagne, I find myself in a position where I am positively hungering for what your first issue is going to have to offer. All that new music, new art, and all the other fascinating bits that are going to go in. Don’t keep us waiting too long! Carrie Hey Bubbly, I noticed your zine on deviantART and I am so excited for the first issue. It’s hard to find a free and easily accessible publication which features all my most keenest interests and here you are! Love, Jane
bubbly music
Indie Pig Jazz Experimental jazz quintent The Blue Cranes are celebrating the release of their new album, Homing Patterns. WORDS LANCE KRAMER
For a few long days last December, Blue Cranes alto saxophonist Reed Wallsmith was vomiting pretty heavily. Crappy timing, considering he was in the midst of recording the band’s latest album, Homing Patterns. Keyboardist Rebecca Sanborn then came down with the stomach flu. Meanwhile, Type Foundry engineer Jason Powers was huddled in a scarf with a box of Kleenex by his side. “Pretty much every day we were recording, a different person got very sick,” Wallsmith says. The result, however painfully conceived, is a fine product of Portland’s dreary, sun-deprived winters. It’s also an evolutionary step in the brand of expressionistic jazz that’s defined the group since it linked up just over a year ago. But tenor saxophonist/horn arranger, Patterns- and Decemberists - contributor Joe Cunningham doesn’t think of the Cranes as a jazz band. Drummer Ji Tanzer agrees:
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“We’re just having fun and playing music using the influences we have...rock, folk, whatever. We’re not on a mission to teach rock listeners what jazz is all about.” Those influences range from the Bad Plus to Elliott Smith (whose “Coming Up Roses” was covered on the Cranes’ debut). The band—rounded out by bassist Keith Brush and often found playing rock clubs like Holocene or sharing bills with punk groups—doesn’t see itself as “alt” or “experimental,” either. It is, however, open to experimenting with performance spaces. On Patterns’ “Washington Park–Eastbound,” for instance, Wallsmith and Cunningham—who recently made the screwy decision to go by “Sly Pig” to distinguish himself from an East Coast smooth jazz sax player of the same name (it’s a pun; figure it out)—play an eerie freeform horn duo recorded in the Washington Park MAX tunnel. Wallsmith also has a whole backlog of ideas when it comes to keeping Portland jazz performances weird. “In Paris,” he says, “a hundred saxophonists were on some sort of email list and all showed up at the same subway stop at the same time, pulled out their horns, and played completely free for a minute. Then they put their horns away and dispersed,” he continues. “I’m putting a call out to all of Oregon and Washington that this should happen.” Well, Reed, I happen to have an old alto sax sitting in my closet. Just say the word. ▪
Boswellian Delights Portland, Oregon must be a city of secrets. Every encounter reveals something hidden and special, this time being, The Stolen Sweets. WORDS MICHAEL RICCI
The Stolen Sweets are reviving old time jazz in Portland by performing the vocal arrangements of New Orleans inamoratas, the Boswell Sisters, one of the hottest girl groups of the 1930s. The Stolen Sweets chose to memorialize the Boswells – or “Bossies,” as their jazz contemporary Jimmy Dorsey called them – because of their organic and gritty approach to vocal jazz, a genre often associated with polished, syrupy standards. The Boswells were famous for their tight three-part harmonies, subtle lyrical innuendo and dizzying tempo changes.
The Stolen Sweets formed in 2005 with the intention of reviving the songs of 1930s sister act, The Boswell Sisters. Comprised of vocalists Jen Bernard, Lara Michell and Erin Sutherland, guitarists Pete Krebs and David Langenes (both of whom sing) and double bass player Keith Brush, The Sweets’ repertoire has expanded to include material from the 1920s -1940s.
Though their repertoire consists primarily of jazz tunes, the Sweets’ musical approach and on-stage theatrics defy classification. NW Senior News notes, “The female members of the sextet each embodies a stage persona—sassy to deadpan— that, in their black period dresses, creates a playful, interactive dynamic with audiences.”
Most Portlanders are unaware of the jazz playground that once existed in the part of town that is currently occupied by I-5, the Rose Garden and Memorial Coliseum. For years, Portland, Oregon provided a respite for jazz musicians touring from Seattle to Los Angeles. The bars that once lined Williams Avenue hosted impromptu jam sessions for these weary travelers, allowing them to relax and free form before the next series of whirlwind trips through big city jazz clubs.
Today the streets of North Portland are lined with thriving restaurants, bars and music venues. With Mississippi Studios and the White Eagle leading the way, North Portland has once again become a destination for Portland’s musicians and music lovers alike. The Stolen Sweets are proud to be a part of this long-awaited revival. ▪
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The Mint Chicks Since storming onto the New Zealand rock scene a year ago, these four young men have already made enough noise for the White Stripes to invite them on a tour of Australia before they had even released a record. Those enemies of free thought, creativity, and - let’s be honest about this - the very future of the entire fucking truth are as firmly entrenched in the mire of their own conformist, flag-waving, middle-of-a-dirt-road muck as their sleepy, spoon-fed, lack of direction will allow. It’s easy to dodge those safe, comforting labels they attempt to stick us with, but more difficult to break out when it’s geographical position they choose to bundle it all in. What is this? The Olympian Death March? The muting of all colours into the greyscale of non-imagination? The Mint Chicks are from Auckland, New Zealand, because that’s where they live. Their debut full-lengther F**k The Golden Youth’ was recorded in absolute seclusion in an abandoned shed on a Northland beach
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because that’s where NOBODY lives. Keep all your proud Lord Of The Rings nonsense, because here The Mint Chicks created their own Lord Of The Flies... by choice. No outside interference, safety nets, or support network (if you can’t move out of your comfort zone, then don’t be shocked when it becomes a prison). Cut off from the “adult” world through tidal movements, away from the “music scene (it all before)”, eating what could be caught, recognition that the division between man and beast is only pertinent to those who seek monsters: these are the conditions under which this album was created. Necessity can be a mother of an intervention, and cabin fever can be broken by the reality-splash of the cold truth of NOW. As such, F**k The Golden Youth is not a manifesto for posterity, but the sound of a self-realised present, recorded and produced by Ruban Neilson and Kody Neilson.
You want literature or art? Try writing it in your own blood; because if you want it done, do it yourself, FOR REAL. It cuts deeper, and there can be no mistaking the marks. We’ve spoken before about the flow of dream logic, and of the absolute purity of negation. Free will, and the urgent, discordant tune of a soul unwilling to be forced into another’s world view. Rapid shifts of perspective as the mind’s eye rejects all the extraneous stimuli of control. The shrieking of metal on metal as the cogs of the machine grind to the halt of obsolescence. Somewhere in the id’s hinterlands, then, is the sound of The Mint Chicks: one individual’s psychobabble is another’s mantra. The music is a force to be reckoned with in relation to any opposition thrown up by others. Remember, negation is not negativity in any colloquial sense: it can be spelt C-R-E-A-T-I-O-N. You think we’re talking politics here? Forget about it. Open your eyes, friends: there’s a REASON The Mint Chicks will play masked and under pseudonyms when there’s a need for it. This is not a staged show in any contrived, performing monkey sense. There’s no organgrinder these boys dance to, because fairground simian sideshows only exist in the musty pages of somebody else’s history books, after all - and dancing to the
beat of a different drummer is only relevant when it’s your own beat. The preceding EPs - ‘Octagon Octagon Octagon’ and ‘Anti-Tiger’ may have set something of a standard, and F**k The Golden Youth smashes that fucking hole in the wall right open. They thought they had it all worked out, but this is what we are. Try and view it all from our perspective. Sacred cows are merely cattle to the slaughter. Better a mask than a blindfold. Black is the colour of true love’s ire. Chainsaws are to build as well as to destroy. Throw away the blueprints. F**k The Golden Youth: it’s not a game or attention-seeking device, because sometimes there is simply no other option but to wrap your head in duct tape and hang upside-down from the ceiling. If you have to hit the floor, ensure you make a deep fucking impression on it. Otherwise, hang your jacket in the cloakroom and join the soulless machine. We cannot decide for you. You’re either with us, or not. Your choice. THE MINT CHICKS are Ruban Nielson, Kody Nielson, Paul Roper and Michael Logie. ▪
http://www.themintchicks.com/ 19
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SuperFunHappyBand! You may not know the name, but you better get into them now so you can say “I liked SuperFunHappyBand before they were big” because they most assuredly will become so. WORDS LISA DIB
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athaniel, synth-maestro from SFHB is not yet the quintessential rock star; working a stiff day job (Lisa: “Rock stars don’t have day jobs”. Nathaniel: “They do when they wanna keep eating and living”) until the indie wave takes them high into the realms of the success they warrant. The band began as most do: “Looking for a way to combine talking to girls and getting free alcohol, this is the best way we could think of”, and has since morphed into an indie-electro fiesta, supporting the likes of The Scientists of Modern Music and Paper Scissors and getting booty (or, boo-tay) shaking along the way. We talk about the massively burgeoning indie scene of the moment and I am grateful to hear his loyal response- “Out of the indie scenes, Melbourne would have to be my favourite. We think a lot gets lost in translation now, because indie ten years ago was kind of like guitar-rock like Death Cab but it’s branched off now. I don’t think ten years ago you would’ve been called an indie band if you had synth and stuff in your band…it’s a great time for synth players (laughs)”. As all things great and small must, indie-electro et al must, indeed, die. It’s the nature of fashion, don’t shoot the messenger. But Nathaniel is cautiously optimistic: “It will die, but it’s always reborn in the form of something else…it’s kind of like an Indie Phoenix…once it dies, something is always gonna come out of it, whether or not it’s positive remains to be seen…” So you’re probably thinking to yourself: What can a lucky punter expect from a SFHB show, then?
“None of the band really go for the heavy drinking but I would’ve probably been sitting around in my underwear, drinking since 1 or 2…my day off… The audience can expect a drunk band wearing weird masks… and our guitar player is going through a phase where he falls down a lot, so we’ll all come unplugged from the amps… it’s interesting to watch” After a lengthy discussion on the perverse nature, I feel the topic should move to the future of SFHB (it doesn’t for quite a while, what journalistic integrity): “We wanna make it sound different. Right now were focusing on kind of fast-paced post- punk electro indie and the songs never go for more than three minutes. Were going to Sydney in March, and then onto Newcastle, so things are branching out. It’s an exciting time” SFHB also made an appearance at the Falls Festivalwhereupon cigarettes and beer belonging to Kings of Leon may or may not have been stolen, perhaps or perhaps not by SFHB- where they got the crowd reaction they wanted: “Everyone was kind of having breakfast, but there was about two or three hundred people up the front dancing, so that was good for twelve o’clock in the afternoon. I think most of the people dancing didn’t go to sleep the night before (laughs)”. Alright, as I often do, I end the interview with my atypical inquiry: what fruit would be King, Nathaniel? “I would have to say pineapple… pineapples are badass, I wouldn’t go near one if I was a nectarine or a peach”. The kid is wise. ▪
myspace.com/superfunhappyband 21
bubbly collection
The End of An Era As celebration of instant art, we put together this collection as tribute to the Polaroid picture. Shake it, yeah. WORDS FRANK AHRENS
The Polaroid Corporation has announced it’s running down its instant film business, likely marking a death knell for the technology. When Polaroid users pulled a picture out of their cameras, an image would slowly appear before their eyes. Now, like the process in reverse, the image of the Polaroid instant camera -- dimming for years -- has finally gone black. Polaroid, based in Waltham, Mass., is shutting down factories in the United States and abroad as the company abandons the technology that made the instant photo possible, the Boston Globe reported yesterday. The company will cease production of its film by next year. The artsy, instantly gratifying Polaroid images, reeking of processing chemicals, have finally been done in by endless Flickr Web pages full of digital images, flawlessly produced by cameras that do not require film, emulsion or anything bigger than a shirt pocket to carry them around. The company’s boom and the Polaroid’s place in the culture came with the SX-70, introduced in 1972. This groovy camera, with its aluminum and faux-leather body, was perfect for a hedonistic decade that couldn’t take enough pictures of itself. They were good times for Polaroid; the company’s employment peaked in 1978. But now, it becomes little more than an image in history’s digital scrapbook. ▪
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bubbly style
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Art & Sole If you’re after something a little different from the high street and you’re into your graphic design then NDEUR have loads more designs on his website. WORDS JESSE SHIP
NDEUR is Matthieu Missiaen, the happy-go-lucky rising star of Paris’s emerging art and design circles. After a solid run with his art collective, the Charnel Baz’art, and some TV appearances, he moved to Toronto to brush up on his English skills and maybe find some odd jobs. Little did he know that he would stumble across a killer concept that would propel him to international fame and fortune. In a saturated field of sneaker artists, NDEUR is paving new grounds, gracing heels and pumps of stylin’ ladies across the globe.
What is the meaning of NDEUR and how did you come up with it? How do you pronounce it? You pronounce it ‘under’ – in fact, it’s an anagram of the world under. Five years ago I did an exhibition in France and people always asked me why I didn’t sign the canvas. It was kind of boring to me to sign my paintings, and at the same time I was really bored by the ‘underground’ theme in French media. I decided to write ironically the word ‘under’ in huge letters on all my canvasses, and in time under became ndeur. What would you say is your signature style? I have no idea! I try as much as possible to not have any style but to be able to execute all styles possible so as to have a wide range of style. How have your Parisian roots influenced your art? I think the fact I am French provided me with (I have no idea why) some legitimacy in the art/graphic/fashion world, maybe because French culture is in fashion this
days… I think it also brings me some influence from classical paint history. I’m not sure if you can see a hint of classical 17th century painting in my work, but it’s really my main influence, strange.
What was the longest amount of time you spend on a pair of shoes, and why? 10 hours for a pair of Vans which will be posted really soon on my MySpace Where do you seek inspiration for your projects? Everywhere! From classical painting, web design, old posters of mucha, and even the new design of jeremyville.com…I love everything, sometimes even the front of an old pizza place gives me ideas What’s the strangest request that anyone has ever asked you to draw on? I once customed a really old BBQ. What’s your favourite canvas to draw on – shoes, walls, or just plain paper? Canvas and leather What’s coming up for the NDEUR brand? Any plans internationally? It’s a secret, there’s a lot of new stuff coming like custom wood puppets, bike customs, and a collaboration with an unnamed brand. ▪ For more infomation about the brand, visit:
http://www.ndeur.com
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bubbly vent
Paid to Make Girls Panic Anne Gables suspects that horrifying volcanoes on her face and very little tolerance for Listerine is the real reason she doesn’t seem to be getting action. Only, I fear that rather than making said girls panic by inciting them into a hormonal frenzy of lust, I will be making them panic in an, OH MY GOSH THERE IS A CREEPY MONSTER LOOKING AT ME way. I think, I think I have a pimple coming. In fact, I am certain of it. I can feel it. It lurks horribly beneath the surface, waiting to erupt into a hideous volcano the minute the weekend is over and I have to show my face in public again. I will be deformed! And then what will you do without my guiding light, my shining beacon of goodlookingness? You will all forget the meaning of the word ‘beauty,’ I suppose. You will forget my seductive swagger, my sardonic eyebrow raise which no doubt makes you weak at the knees. The world will be a dark and dreadful place. BUT BECAUSE I KNOW YOU WILL ALL BE WANDERING AROUND LIKE LOST LITTLE PUPPIES WITHOUT MY WISE AND WONDERFUL PRESENCE, I shall bravely face the legions of staring people, entranced by the hypnotic pulsing of the pimple on my face, despite my DISFIGUREMENT.
When I am a spinster living alone with only my poor posters for company, the neighbourhood children will call me “Old Miss Pizzaface” and not because I make a really mean piece of baked bread. I can see my destiny now: dethroned, deformed, ALL ALONE. Which brings me to an update on my romantic status: still single. The only attention I seem to attract is from seedy old men on trains or shopping centres or anywhere else for that matter, who indecently proposition me with offers of free peep shows starring their own “Mini Me.” No thank you, sir. But it was kind of you to offer. I have, however, played my very first Game Which Involves Kissing and/or Stripping (I am sheltered, shut up). My friends are bad influences, juvenile delinquents! I don’t now why I continue to hang around them. Possibly because of the chocolate they keep feeding me. But I digress; it was a lot less sexy and exciting then I expected, and a lot more “Ugh, let me go back to sleep.” Kissing/ Stripping/etc games are OVERRATED, obviously. Someone whose name shall not be revealed for the sake of their dignity (no matter how much of it they lack) kissed me, and by “kissed me,” I mean “darted forward and drooled a little on my mouth.” I have been rendered UNCLEAN. Hold on, I must rinse my mouth with Listerine — I am back. And in TEARS, if you can believe it. I didn’t — even use that normal Listerine! I used the Smooth Mint and I am still in tears. I am pathetic. I am too pathetic to live. ▪ 29
i dream of summer PHOTOGRAPHY & STYLING LORRETTA JUX HAIR AND MAKE-UP SHALIA EIME
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bubbly world
The Fall of Tibet One country lies in the middle of political controversy and the single biggest sporting event of our time. With radical activists on both sides, opinions are rarely separated from facts. We explore what is really happening. WORDS JANET MAO
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t’s the annual Olympic torch relay and millions of people all over the globe have turned out to see the famous flame that stands for unity being passed around the globe. This year is an even more exciting Olympic year as one of the world’s most populous and leading countries, China, is the host. In every city hundreds of eager Chinese clad in red take their spots to support the torch that brings them so much pride this year, waving red Chinese and white Olympic flags. But what’s different about this year’s torch relay is the burst of violence erupting from the opposite side, the Free Tibet protestors. There are fights between the two sides and angry protest speeches amidst almost every city that the flame has passed through. On 14th March 2008, groups of Tibetan youth started looting, burning and rioting in the capital, Lhasa, their cause apparently the lack of freedom and abuse of human rights as a result of Chinese rule. What
followed was a chain of protests around the world lead by exiled Tibetans, activists, and even Hollywood celebrities. Giant ‘FREE TIBET’ signs were hauled over Golden Gate Bridge, blue jumpsuit-clad Olympic torch-protectors sparked controversy and a general restlessness occurred all over the world. As much as the protestors have made their point about freeing Tibet, did they truly know what it involved? Modern politicians will generally agree that Tibet was made part of China in 1951 soon after its communist state was established, but history between the two regions go far beyond that. Even since the mid 1st century Tibet and China had trade relations and there was no doubt that for at least decades between then and the 1950’s Tibet had definitely been under China’s rule. With China’s protection, Tibet had a much stronger defence from neighbouring kingdoms and even Europeans, also obtaining access to China’s vast wealth, as part of the powerful kingdom. Even today, ►
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Tibet is becoming a thoroughly modern city with access to technology that it probably would have less of under the previous government’s rule under the Dalai Lama. On top of this, there has been concrete evidence of the cruel slave-regime that the previous government used to rule the state. Tibet is a deeply religious place, and it weaves in and around the peoples’ everyday lives. There has been evidence to suggest that the religious leaders have been almost manipulating this dependency to bend the people to their will, controlling all their possessions and actions, sometimes with torture. Yes, the Chinese have not been a perfect government to Tibet either, otherwise there won’t be protests of human rights abuse, but it was a far less repressive state than under the previous. Yes, China did invade Tibet to acquire its territory, but it was some centuries ago, when many other nations also invaded neighbouring territories to quench their thirst for land. Not that this is a very excusable thing to do. But if China was so very wrong for claiming Tibet as theirs, which many protestors find fault with, shouldn’t all these other ‘wrongly’ claimed territories be freed from their invaders as well? Australian aborigines, American Indians, Quebecois independence activists, almost all of Ireland and many other places in the world all have a certain amount of people that would not mind if they were compensated for the invasion of another group by becoming an independent nation. But have these dreams seen reality? No, because the government is obviously against these ideas. This is exactly the kind of mind-set that China has right now, a kind that any other nation would feel when put in a situation like this. And the ironic thing is, many protestors that are blind to this fact, come from a country like this.
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they’ve made their point about freeing Tibet, but do they truly know what it involves?
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What many people fail to recognise is that China is a multicultural nation, contrary to popular belief. It has 56 different minorities with different cultures and traditions, majoritised by the Han people, probably the Chinese people you and I will usually meet. These minorities have all become some part of China during the years, and Tibet is just one of them. If one of the many races that preside in America split and became a nation on its own, it would upset the people of America, would it not? Then there is the questionable credibility of the exiled Dalai Lama, the exiled previous leader that many Tibetans and people around the world look up to. A man that was supposed to have won a Nobel prize for peace does not at least tell the Tibetan that are so devoted to him to protest in peace. Instead he watches as the Tibetan people throw rocks and fire ammunition at Chinese military that have been given the order to not attack as they can easily be mistaken for ‘being repressive’. A statement from a spokesman of the Dalai Lama quotes the reason as being that the violence ensued were all purely ‘accidental’ and that all protests were being carried out as peaceful as possible. Tell that to the young rioters in Lhasa who are burning every Chinese store or building they see, or the protestors who try to grab the Olympic torch out of a young Paralympic athlete’s hand. Only after evidence like this did the Dalai Lama finally give a statement to refrain from violence. Also there is the proven faked evidence of the supposed ‘drastic
measures’ the Chinese are going to to restrain Tibetans that the supposed holy man gave. This may seem like a questionable profile already. But then there are rumours of the man’s liaisons with the CIA. America, which has been for nearly a century the strongest power in the world, has been notorious for its suspicious intelligence organisation that it uses to dim the other major powers in the world. You can’t help but think of these things when the Soviet Union split after decades of tension with the US during the 20th century. But China seems like a stronger opponent, so a puppet with a good image might have to be used. Sure, this may seem like a far-fetched and biased rumour, but why when opinions about him and the CIA emerged on a seemingly unbiased site like YouTube they were instantly erased? Adding to all this is the subjective western media’s presentations of the Tibetan unrest. If you were to turn on the TV, the radio or read the newspaper in Europe, North America, Australia or any other western civilisation, you might get such an image about the events: Chinese military beating protestors severely, suppressing any negative behaviour by patrolling the streets of Lhasa with ammunition and the apparent stubborn behaviour of the torch protectors. What these text and images fail to tell you is the distortion imposed upon them before released to the general public. German television has apologised for wrongly using photos of Nepalese police cracking down on protestors as part of their report, and online communities have condemned the CNN website for not showing the full picture and context of a photograph that cut out parts of protestors throwing rocks at the Chinese military. Many foreigners present in Tibet at the time gave their word that the western media’s reports did not correspond with their experiences. But after all this, perhaps the saddest part of all is the fact that many protestors are using the Olympic Games as their own forum to express these political ideas. The Olympics stand for unison of all the nations of the world in sport, something that no politics will be able to interfere with, a symbol of unity and peace. The activists are corrupting the very the idea itself
that they’re trying themselves to promote for Tibet. Even the IOC president Jacques Rogge says that under no circumstances will the games be cut short or boycotted, and that this is an opportunity many athletes around the world have looked forward to and would not be interrupted by politics, and hopes that at least the protests will be peaceful. After all the tension and unrest has been put aside, this reporter wishes that the readers will be able to see another side of the situation, and that the Olympics will perhaps be the cool water that calms these situations and not be the match that sparks them. ▪
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turn on the TV in any western country and you’d get this image: Chinese military beating protestors, suppressing any negative behaviour by patrolling the streets of Lhasa with ammunition ...
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bubbly artist
I Like Soft Kisses Silke Werzinger Something about the work of Silke Werzinger makes us think of electro bad girl Peaches. Maybe it’s the same loose, dirty style or maybe its something even more esoteric. We can’t quite put our finger on it. What we can tell is that we like Silke’s work and, like we would with Peaches, we’d definitely invite it along if we had to go kick someone’s ass. Silke lives and works in Nürnberg, Germany, which apparently involves her cutting and pasting and going crazy with pens and markers for hours on end. That’s as much as her site tells us. Her art tells us to put up or shut up. Will do, Silke, will do. ▪
www.silkewerzinger.de
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bubbly vent
6 Types of Annoying People inside Starbucks Ah, Starbucks. Our favourite giant American ready-to-drink beverage corporation that we love to hate. But what about its patrons? Here are 6 types of people you’ll find inside a Starbucks that are guaranteed to annoy the crap out of you. WORDS HOLY TACO
1. Manager Who Refuses to Recognize the Words Small, Medium, and Large I understand, you’re a corporate guy and thus must abide by company policies by calling the different sizes by their Starbucks Christian names of Venti, Grande, etc…. But if I ask you for a small, don’t act like I’m speaking to you in that Native American language used in World War II to deliver coded messages. You’re familiar with the sizes small, medium and large, and if you’re not, then you might want to change underwear because there’s a good chance there’s a sizeable amount of shit in them due to your inability to grasp the concept of wiping your asshole after defecating. 2. Intern Who is Buying for the Entire Office Wearing an all-white or striped button down shirt, this guy shows up with a legal pad full of hastily scribbled orders. “Yeah, I’m gonna need 24 tall skinny soy lattes with sugar free hazelnut extra hot…and 32 grande no caff cappuccinos with light whip cream, sugar free hazelnut and vanilla with white chocolate mocha. And 14 grande supremos with a triple shot, sugar free vanilla, extra white mocha, no whip, no foam and an extra drizzle. Oh, and can I get a smiley face on the bottom of all those?” And 46
he knows if one of these orders is screwed up, it’s going to cost him a chance at the a full-time gig as assistant editor where he can bring coffee to even more important people. So instead of just grabbing his bags and leaving, he inspects all 70-odd cups in his 17 flimsy cardboard holders. If you get behind this guy, you may as well give up any hopes of getting a cup of joe in your lifetime. You’re better off flying to Colombia, slitting Juan Valdez’s throat and stealing his coffee-harvesting burro.
3. The Writer Who Wants You to Know That They Are a Writer Being a writer is a pretty cool occupation, but unfortunately you can’t tell someone’s a writer just by looking at them. And having to tell someone you’re a writer is way less impressive. Therefore, these people go to the busiest Starbucks and pop open their iMac, making sure their screen is clearly displaying a full page of text (or clear screenplay format for those in Los Angeles). Their next step is to make sure they’re facing away from where everyone goes to pick up their drinks while staring at the screen while remembering to take deep breaths which will indicate to others that deep and creative thought that normal minds are not capable of, is
taking place. Who gives a shit if an asshole and his mac have spent six hours taking up a table normally reserved for four people, it’s important you know that they’re juggling a complex story about a boy in Alaska who comes of age and befriends a bear. That’s right, they’re creating that using only their minds!
4. Overly Happy Line Greeter/Order Take r At some point, the Starbucks Corporation realized that their growing legions of employees didn’t have the best people skills. Their answer was to create their own version of the Wal-Mart Greeter who also takes your order. But since they don’t pay shit, you end up having some G.E.D.-havin’ dumbass or an excruciatinglylonely elderly woman force their brand of corporate chit-chat down your throat. Instead of waiting to pay for your overpriced chai in peace, you have to deal with: “Goooooood morning today! How are you? Some kinda weather we’re having isn’t it? I wish I was outside in the park! Wouldn’t that be nice? It’s sooooo sunny! And what’s better for you than a nice big dose of Mr. Sun! Maybe some coffee? Ha! So, what can we get you today? Need a little pick-me-up? You do! I think we ALL could use one, yes we could! YES WE COULD! Anyway, I’ll get this chai order right up for you. What’s your name? Terry? That’s my cousin’s name! Small world. Yes. It. Is. Small world indeed….Hi! And how are you doing today?!?!” 5. Complicated Order Guy Who Needs his Coffee Right The F*&K Now. When you order coffee, it shouldn’t sound like you’re giving the pass code to a missile defense system. If
you’re lactose intolerant, on a strict diet, and can’t handle a full dose of caffeine, how about instead of ordering a “non-fat, grande, soy chai latte with a half shot of espresso and no foam” and then stand in front of the pick up window and pace like one of Michael Vick’s pitbulls watching Vick pull out the rape stand after losing a fight, you just grab a glass of god damn water and drink that. Last I checked that won’t give you exploding diarrhea or anxiety… unless you’re at the Starbucks in Tijuana.
6. The Guy Who Hates Starbucks But Goes There Every Single Day Armed with armchair political rants, this guy is the world’s biggest bore and the world’s biggest hypocrite combined into one big uber-shithead. He won’t shut up about how Starbucks is bad for the environment and how they’re taking over the world and how their coffee totally “doesn’t taste like the gourmet stuff downtown.” But when you bring up the fact that he’s ranting about Starbucks while he’s actually inside a Starbucks, his crappy hippiewannabe excuses just start piling up. “Well, here’s the thing, I just didn’t have time to make it over to my usual coffee place. You know the one way over on 2nd Ave? Yeah, it’s one of the last mom and pop coffee shops in the area. I toooootally love that place. It’s so real. I was on my way over there, but the traffic was a killer, so I was totally forced to get my fix at this place. I mean, the rich get richer, right? That’s the law of the land. I totally can’t stand that I have to come here, but that’s what they do. They tie your hands, man. These big corporations. They just own you. They’re everywhere. Can you hand me one of those Splenda?” ▪ 47
bubbly nosh
Burgers with Mozzarella & Spinach-Arugula Pesto Tired of the generic hamburger? The ol’ beef on bread just not doing it for you? Well here’s a classic with a fresh twist, a bit of gourmet and lots of easy. Servings : Makes 6 servings.
Ingredients 10 cups baby spinach leaves 2 garlic cloves, peeled 1/2 teaspoon finely grated lemon peel Large pinch of dried crushed red pepper 4 cups fresh arugula leaves, divided 3 tablespoons pine nuts 1 teaspoon fresh lemon juice 1/3 cup extra-virgin olive oil 3 tablespoons grated Parmesan cheese 1 340 grams ground beef 1 teaspoon salt 1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper 6 hamburger buns, split horizontally 6 slices fresh mozzarella cheese 2 large tomatoes, sliced
Preparation Rinse spinach; drain briefly, then place in large glass bowl. Microwave spinach, uncovered, on high just until wilted, 1 to 1 1/2 minutes. Drain, then squeeze out as much liquid as possible. Combine garlic, lemon peel, and crushed red pepper in processor; blend until garlic is finely chopped. Add spinach, 2 cups (packed) arugula, pine nuts, and lemon juice; process until coarse puree forms. With machine running, gradually add oil in thin stream and blend until almost smooth. Mix in cheese. Transfer pesto to small bowl; season with salt. Do ahead: Can be made 6 hours ahead. Cover; chill. Combine ground beef, 1 teaspoon salt, 1/2 teaspoon black pepper, and 6 tablespoons spinach-arugula pesto in large bowl; mix lightly with fingertips or fork just until incorporated. Form meat mixture into six 3/4-inch-thick patties. Place patties on platter. Do ahead: Beef patties can be made 6 hours ahead. Cover and refrigerate. Prepare barbecue (medium-high heat). Grill burgers to desired doneness, about 4 minutes per side for mediumrare. Grill buns, cut side down, just until lightly toasted, about 1 minute. Build burgers with pesto, patties, mozzarella cheese, tomatoes, and arugula. Cover with bun tops. â–Ş 48
Lemon-pepper Popovers We know these monster biscuits look like gougères on steroids, but we promise there are no illicit performance-enhancing ingredients at work here: just an eggrich batter that (naturally) bakes up big. Active time : 15 min Start to finish: 1 hour Servings : Makes 6 popovers Ingredients 3/4 cup whole milk 1/4 cup water 2 large eggs 1 teaspoon grated lemon zest
1 tablespoon unsalted butter, melted 1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour 1/2 teaspoon salt 1/2 teaspoon black pepper
Equipment : a popover pan with 6 (2/3-cup) cups (see cooks’ note, below) Preperation Preheat oven to 375°F with rack in lower third. Generously butter popover cups. Whisk together milk, water, eggs, and zest in a bowl, then whisk in butter. Add flour, salt, and pepper and whisk until batter is combined well but still slightly lumpy. Divide batter among popover cups and sprinkle tops with additional pepper as garnish. Bake until puffed and golden, about 40 minutes. Cut a slit about 1/2-inch long in top of each popover with a small sharp knife, then bake 5 minutes more.
Cooks’ note : Popovers can be made in 9 buttered (1/2-cup) muffin cups; bake about 30 minutes before cutting slits. ▪ 49
bubbly reviews
It’s been worth the wait for the Fleet Foxes’ well-crafted debut to rear its head; folk, country, and bluegrass mixed together to rather more dreamy effect than their recent EP. Now, although the dynamics of the songs don’t change all that much; drums roll at the bottom, acoustic guitars and keys chime in the middle, the lead guitar has its nose just in front, and the group vocals play on top, the use of clever musical arrangements makes it warmly captivating. Take note of the gorgeous set up of ‘White Winter Hymnal’ and the sudden, rousing, deep belch of the kick and floor toms. Each band member demonstrates a fearless three-octave voice; the group harmonies are delivered exquisitely and, thanks to clever structural and tonal changes throughout, never seem overbearing or over-used. The music never once plays second fiddle to the vocals, however; both know when they are needed and when to keep it shut, complimenting each other perfectly. Just like a live set of theirs and the sunset slot at Meredith this year. Cross those fingers, cross those toes.
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Few would’ve guessed from their comparably jovial surf rock meets scream-core self-titled debut (part Nick Cave, part Ennio Morricone, part Arcade Fire) the level of pathos this Perth four-piece would ascend to. Jesus, what the f*!k happened? On their terribly serious second album, THE HORSE, THE RAT AND THE SWAN, there’s still that Nick-Cave-rolling-around-onthe-floor-covered-in-blood dark melodrama thing. But it’s now combined with foreboding tribal rhythms, blood-curdling, angstridden vocals and buried screams, feedback drenched passages, dire, bleak lyrics, and eerie ethereal motions. Godspeed You Black Emperor meets Nirvana’s BLEACH? Dramatic? Yes. Terrifying? Uh, totally. A fun listen? Not always. The most interesting, original new Aussie album this year? Quite possibly. Definitely the weirdest thing you’ve heard in a while.
The summer release of WEIRDO RIPPERS saw No Age bring together a collection of songs that had spanned five independently released EPs,as kind of an introduction to the band. Soon after, the ever attentive ears of Sub Pop picked up on the LA duo and have now released their first full length album NOUNS. Although slightly smoother around the edges, the band have still captured and delivered their delicious mix of stoned bursts of noise and straight up West Coast punk, with all the fervour of their previous release. The new album is unpredictable; never remaining static for too long. As the compositions switch between noise and punk the instrumentation andvocals promptly follow suit. Guitars are rough or warm, the drums thrashing or nonexistent. Throw into this the use of wired loops and sonic pedal effects and the album becomes a noticeably ambitious affair. Quite an achievement for just two people. What does remain aconstant throughout though is the positivity and upbeat tone. Winter will undoubtedly be long, cold, and lonely, but NOUNS will prove to be the perfect companion.
The American media only invented “the teenager” as recently as the ‘50s. Yet those melodramatic, erratic, sexy sexy young thangs have come to TOTALLY take over the world, gripping the global marketplace tighter than Britney’s fist on a Chihuahua-laden fluffy pink handbag. OMG!! Taking our continual fascination and fetishization with teenagers to laughable, logical extremes are Parisian trio The Teenagers. They combine the earnestness of a Mike Mills Air video with The Smiths tongue-in-cheek, Soft Tigers youthful enthusiasm, and the pop of fellow Parisians Phoenix. Doling out terminally trendy electropop, REALITY CHECK takes the piss out of cheerleaders, Americans, day-old pizza, Jared Leto, 90210, MySpace, San Diego, SHOWGIRLS - even Ben ASS-fleck. It’s as catchy as it is hilarious. And with a genuine affection for their subject matter, The Teenagers make guilty pleasures painfully hip. Or, like, whatever, OK?
If their debut is anything to go by, Tic Toc Tokyo have some exciting times ahead. ARTEFACTS sees their tribalinfused post-punk styling expertly merged with no-wave inclinations, making for one tidy little package indeed. ‘Colour of Place’ launches proceedings - disjointed guitar riffs and percussive beginnings grow then kick with confidence. Sharp and concise ‘Action Time’ follows - hefty bass lines powering behind pertinent changes capture the band’s spontaneous energy. ‘Dialogue’ continues the potent arrangements and exemplifies front man Gibbs’ commanding vocals. Concluding the release, ‘Ladies in Vogue’ has a more angular and sinister sound. With conviction, it drives home TTT’s organic energy through warped and rhythmic hooks while maintaining the sense of excitement that underpins their sound. All in all, ARTEFACTS is a great step forward for the lads and, even though it’s only four tracks long, shows off TTT’s confidence and diversity - post-punk of the near future.
Early last year a new wave of Swedish artists began to receive mainstream attention. A year on from ‘The Whistle Song’ and the Scandinavian invasion is no transient novelty genre. The latest artist set to bust out of her home land is 22-year-old Lykke Li, whose couldit-be love song ‘Little Bit’ has laid its hat in head. It’s all about that stalemate you reach right at the beginning, when you are pretty sure your crush is requited, but making any kind of declaration would send your lunch in the wrong direction. Lykke Li has all the awkward charms of the modern Swedish pop genius - whimsical lyrics, contagious melodies and really real songs about love and life. Not to mention, shei s cute as hell. Her three-track EP was floating around the internet acouple months back, and finally there is more as Lykke Li officially releases her debut album YOUTH NOVELS (in Sweden only) this month. Listen to it here. Latest news is she is in talks with a number of record labels across the globe, and all will be revealed within the next couple weeks.
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Sometimes seeing the movie before you read the book can be kind of OK. But this relies on many things including casting so creative it outruns anything your imagination could invent (cases in point include Kathleen Turner as Mrs Lisbon in THE VIRGIN SUICIDES, Marlon Brando as Vito Corleone and that creepy redrum kid in THE SHINING). Other times, it’s vitally important to read a book first, before the images of Cate Blanchett and the Bond-tainted Judi Dench for instance, are burned irrevocably onto your retinas. In short, go and grab Zoë Heller’s NOTES ON A SCANDAL quick smart. Published in 2003, NOTES is Heller’s second novel, and was shortlisted that year for the Man Booker Prize. It’s a mini symphony of betrayal told by a vividly disturbed narrator. But with such an innocuous, everyday school and home backdrop that the veiled menace rivals dinner time at Laura Palmer’s house.
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With a name like Niffenegger, Audrey could only have been an author or a scientist. Coincidently she has written a cracker of a science fiction-esque novel. Even if you are in possession of one of those jaded hearts that are so fashionable these days THE TIME TRAVELER’S WIFE will move you. In a hundred words we are not able to go into the nitty gritty so go in to a bookstore and begin reading it on the sly. If you get caught you will probably have to buy it but don’t worry, it’s for the best.
Written in a deliberately clipped, staccato fashion; THE CONTORTIONIST’S HANDBOOK acts to convey the rapid-fire thoughts of John Dolan Vincent, a fast thinking coke addict slipping – whole hog – into the story of his life. To dodge a lifetime of living in institutional digs this master forger changes identities and his past more often than most change their shoes. Although Vincent creates a Sisyphean routine to stay off the radar of police and mental health authorities, crippling headaches, a six-fingered left hand, drug problem, shady employers and the odd voracious slammedup against-the-wall sex makes the “mundane” a very elusive goal.
Vanessa Berry sees things differently from other people. Some would say she’s genius, her mother might say otherwise. Like everyone (except Posh Spice and Allegra Versace), she likes sticky buns, and this enabled everyone at her STICKY book launch in Melbourne last week to start things off on the same foot. That’s right, book launch. Those who have been chasing down Vanessa’s ‘zines I AM A CAMERA and LAUGHTER AND THE SOUNDS OF TEACUPS for years can now immerse themselves completely in Vanessa Berry land by purchasing STRAWBERRY HILLS FOREVER. Vanessa’s op-shop obsession is dissected therein. As is her longing for the Camperdown Velodrome and her feeling of kinship with old ladies and custard tarts. You need this book. Take yourself on a holiday to suburbia in a bunny suit. ▪
bubbly dilemma
Procrastination Sensation With so much to do and so little time, how did we even get into this mess? Oh, that beast named procrastination. WORDS ANNE GABLES
You know how it goes... You are alone in your room, office cubicle, dormitory with the door closed to minimise noise infiltration. You sit down at your desk, which is littered with textbooks, loose paper, pens, notepads, twisted staples, a computer and some printed sheets you have no idea what for. You don’t know how the situation got so dire – all you remember is last week, you set down your various tasks because you couldn’t be bothered with it at the time (yeah, yeah). And then... it bred. A lot. But, whatever, it’s all cool, you can deal. A half hour later your mother, colleague, roommate pokes their head in because they needs to check in every so often to make sure you haven’t stopped breathing. “What are you doing?” You take off your rubber gloves with a snap, and say in a tone of enormous self-satisfaction, “Mess is not conducive to a productive environment.” I’ve found myself in this position more times I can count. 54
Actually doing anything is hard, really, really hard. I have the attention span of a flea with ADD on a monkey with ADHD. At this very moment in fact, I am completely inundated, and yet I find myself cleaning, organising my stationery, text messaging my friend (uncle, my grandmother …), napping on the table – anything, to avoid actually doing something. How do you stop yourself from getting into this sad state? Suggestions: 1. Separate your work. Some things are just really attracted to each other. People say reproduction is a glorious thing but personally I think it’s overrated. 2. Hide your work somewhere where no one will ever set eyes on it again. 3. Conveniently lose it. 4. Or, you could actually do it. This is probably the most painful and tedious course of action, but will result in less dismal grades and exam marks and maybe give you a little glow of achievement. If you like that sorta thing. No, seriously, do your work. Like, straight after you get it. Like, right away. Or you will end up like me, writing this instead of catching up on two weeks of English notes (or maybe for you it’s finishing that design project, or cramming for the economics exam tomorrow or finishing that feature article before the deadline) and feeling on the brink of drowning myself in my veritable sea of (unrevised) notepad paper. Why are you still here? Go do it now! ▪
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