FOR EYES Finest Movie Spectacles
F
ailed the Movie Doctors’ sight test? It’s time for glasses. You might have hoped to last a few
more years spec-free, squinting at your screens and peering at your food, but no. It’s time to join the ranks of the bespectacled. You shouldn’t worry that this is the beginning of your slow physical decline (though it
HARRY POTTER HARRY POTTER AND THE PHILOSOPHER’S STONE (2001)
The most famous wearer of glasses ever. Those of you who have read the books will know about Harry’s lightning scar, his permanently dishevelled hair and that he is lost without his glasses. You will also know they were the classic, round frames, available everywhere for just a few knuts. A boy whose bedroom was the cupboard under the
probably is – see ‘Silver Screenings’,
stairs could hardly have emerged sporting a pair of
p.244). Many movie stars have used
Armani specs. Looking like The Boy Who Lived doesn’t have to
glasses to add to their appeal, to
be expensive; toy versions can be picked up for only
sprinkle some intellectual stardust
£5.99. (They might also make an innocent Muggle
on their image, and you can too. Choosing the right pair can be tricky, but the Movie Doctors, being experts in these matters, can of course point the way. Here we have provided some key cinematic spectacles and, where possible, shopping advice.
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boy look like Stanley Baldwin, but there isn’t much call these days for twentieth-century British prime minister lookalikes, so your wizard guise should be obvious.) Those who want the deluxe version, but haven’t been able to get their hands on any Polyjuice Potion, could try a pair of Savile Row Warwick frames for around £200. Alternatively find someone else wearing them, use the ‘Accio’ spell and ‘Catch!’
MIKAEL BLOMKVIST WILLIAM FOSTER THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO AKA ‘D-FENS’ (2011)
When Daniel Craig was announced as the new
FALLING DOWN (1993)
James Bond (to widespread enthusiasm) there was a peculiar group of traditionalists. They believed 007
Joel Schumacher’s picture produced one of Michael
should never be blond. When Craig was revealed as
Douglas’s most memorable performances. The
the male lead in the movie version of Stieg Larsson’s
frustrated,
bestseller, his hair wasn’t the problem – in fact, his
worker who goes crazy has some memorable
fabulous Viking looks were an advantage. What
moments: the traffic gridlock meltdown, the
really mattered was making him look intelligent,
baseball-bat demolition of the Korean store and
and for this job they needed glasses.
the fast food joint that won’t serve him breakfast.
downtrodden,
out-of-work
defence
When we meet Blomkvist we immediately
Douglas has the buzz cut, the white shirt and tie,
realise he isn’t James Bond because of his Mykita
but most importantly, the Browline glasses. The
acetate glasses. Dark brown, rounded frames set off
heavy plastic upper frame and light metallic lens-
against his haunted ‘I’m a disgraced international
surround have been ubiquitous in America since
journalist’ look let you know that Pussy Galore is
1947, when they were first manufactured.
unlikely to put in an appearance.
If you want to look ordinary, get Browline. If you want to look ordinary but borderline psychotic, crack up one of the lenses and get a shotgun. Cost is around £109. (Wardrobe NB: Malcolm X also wore Browline. Two unbroken lenses needed.)
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GEORGE FALCONER A SINGLE MAN (2009)
the smooth curves of these heavy black frames (model TF 5178) can begin that transition. All you need now is an immaculate designer house and a body like Colin Firth’s, and that LA lifestyle is yours.
Well, what a ‘to do’ when this movie was released. While some discussed Colin Firth’s extraordinary wardrobe of beautiful sixties suits, and others debated his portrayal of a gay lecturer in mourning for his deceased partner, Dr Kermode wanted to talk about his glasses. As directed by Tom Ford, everything about Falconer looked immaculate, but it was his glasses that we had to return to, time and time again. In truth Dr Kermode was not alone. So many people wanted to look like Firth in A Single Man that Ford produced replicas. For £230, 166
O P H T H A L M O L O GY
CLARK KENT SUPERMAN (1978)
the attention, but the real star is Clark’s pair of Anglo American Optical Oversize. For frames that cost a mere £70, Clark only has to place them on his face and no one can recognise him. Even Lois Lane doesn’t realise
Superman is, of course, who we have paid our money to
that the flying guy who swooped her away from danger
see. We want a man flying, we want a flapping cape and
and held her inches away from his face is the same guy
fabulous, Kryptonite-fuelled punch ups with Terence
typing the football results. And all because of the specs
Stamp (or similar). If we’re honest, we don’t care that
(and a touch of hair wax). If it’s a cunning and cheap
much when he is being Clark Kent. Sure, he looks after
disguise you’re after, look no further.
his mum, is charmed by Lois and, as movie versions of journalists go, he is an abstemious role model. But we are only waiting for the moment when the spandex is back on and Clark gets to kick General Zod’s butt. But let us just pause to praise an inanimate object of extraordinary power. The rocks of Krypton get all O P H T H A L M O L O GY
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