You dont have to stay friends after highschool

Suddenly, every move we make is meant to represent this newly improved or “adult” version of ourselves, as if we’ve magically transformed into entirely new people, when in reality, not much has changed since we left high school only a few months ago. This shift leaves freshmen struggling with their identity, and in turn, their relationships. While there is undoubtable excitement in the awkward budding friendships that may arise in smarmy college dorm rooms, or the common rooms that somehow always wreak of rotting food and sweat, it is very natural to yearn for those friendships we left behind, those we’ve had years to foster.

Try to remember that every party, school gathering, and social event is a new avenue for your personal development, and I promise you, the parties full of your high school friends will be waiting for you when summer returns, and you’re back to what you know. The beautiful thing about high school (if you choose to be so optimistic) is that it is entirely stagnant, nobody and nothing will change in that setting, so take advantage of what you have gained, and allow yourself to be mouldable. The old will always be awaiting your eventual return if you so choose to invite it back in after seeing what the world has to offer.

This being said, I don’t blame you for wanting to stick with what you know. For most of us, those highschool friendships represent a time of confidence and comfort, making us feel like the seniors we were only a few months ago, back when the world was at our fingertips and the confines of post secondary had just released us from their grasp. At times, it can be easy to equate the distance from those friendships with the distance from ourselves, but those people we were then, are no less who we are now. New friends will only help us to learn more about ourselves, growing as a new branch on our beautiful tree of life. So get off of facetime with that high school soulmate, leave your dorm room, and go see what’s all out there, I assure you, we’re all just as nervous as you are in these first few months.

The relationships we’ve maintained since high school’s end are undoubtedly meaningful, they have formed our identities, this is precisely why we need to fall away from them and expand our circles. University is a unique environment for impactful relationships, bringing the benefit of a brand new pool of people, all of whom are out of their environments with new perspectives, mindsets, and ideas to offer you. I promise you, this need you have to reinvent yourself to fit in with this new epicenter of interesting people and move away from your comfort zones (and all those inside of it) is entirely normal. I can almost guarantee you that everyone else you meet is doing a variation of the same thing. College is meant to be a safe space for exploring our identities, our interests, our futures, and there is no better way to do that than by indulging in the connections you make while you’re here.

We cannot grow without forming new friendships, and breaking out of our safety nets, so grab some scissors and cut yourself free. You can always go back to those age-old relationships. Take advantage of the excitement of meeting other freshmen in these first few months, because in all honesty, the thrill of starting university will wear off with autumn’s midterms, but those friendships you form now, regardless of how fleeting they may be, will impact you for the rest of your life.