BFFN (BEST FRIENDS FOR NOW)

The hardships of losing those you care for

Jenny Rog (She/Her) - Writer

Yohahnah Loker - Illustrator

As you are travelling by car or bus, attempting to get to your next destination, a song on your usual playlist begins. The song talks about a recent heartbreak and emotions the singer has experienced. This isn’t uncommon considering many artists talk about their love life and their unfortunate recent breakup. Despite this, how many times have we listened to a song about someone losing a friend? From what I heard, songs about friendships ending aren’t listened to as much as songs about breakups. Then again, a lot of my friends tell me I live under a rock when it comes to music, but that’s beside the point.

I find this to be an interesting topic to think about, as there aren’t as many songs that talk about friendships ending. I’ve heard from many of my friends that they don’t need a partner to be happy and prefer having their friends by their side. In my experience, however, my partner is my best friend, as I believe that is the key to having a happy relationship. Despite that, I think we can all agree losing a friend is never easy and can hurt a lot more than breaking up with a partner.

I have platonic friends who I consider to be my best friends. Most people today can have more than one best friend, and I am no exception to this statement. Throughout my life, I have, unfortunately, lost a variety of best friends for different reasons. There are many reasons to lose a friendship, and it never gets easy to deal with the emotions. Because of the number of reasons a company can be lost, it is more difficult than losing a partner.

For instance, losing a best friend could be more hurtful because it could just happen out of the blue. One day, it feels like everything is perfectly fine in a friendship, and the next day, that friend pretends you don’t even exist anymore. I’m not a very confron- tational person, so my usual response is to let the friendship go, but I am often left wondering why it happened in the first place.

This creates an insecurity inside of me wondering if I did something wrong or if I offended them. They say the friendship is okay, but their actions speak differently considering we haven’t talked in a few months. In my experience in relationships, breakups are a possibility but are discussed why it won’t work out. This is why I value honesty more than anything.

Many of us can relate to this, but losing a friend who is a part of a large or small friend group can cause so much drama in one’s life. For me, at least in a relationship with a partner, the drama and stress are only split between us. I choose to keep drama between the two of us as I do not want any biased opinions. When friends fight, in my experience, we often have to choose a side, get our other friends involved, gossip is bound to happen, and so much more. I despise fighting and would like to stay away from it as much as possible, but I know it can be inevitable.

Despite all that, I know how hurtful it can be to lose a friend. This is why I always know how important self-care is when trying to heal from the grief of losing a best friend. My spe- cial remedy is to cuddle with my dog Jasper. He doesn’t speak to me, but he knows when I feel down and can bring a smile to my face. I mean, who doesn’t love big fluffy dogs who shed all over your favourite black pants? Talking to someone is another solution I can rely on, so that’s where my boyfriend or family member comes in. I’m lucky to be surrounded by additional people who love me and can be a shoulder to lean on or just listen to me vent.

Losing anyone, whether it’s good or bad for you, will always be difficult to deal with since no one ever wants to deal with drama. My biggest fear is losing people I currently love platonically because my friend or I had to move on with important roles in our lives. It creates a sense of loneliness and can be difficult to talk with other friends if they do not know the person.

We all have to go through this hardship at some point, but that’s what it means to be alive.

Friendships come and go, but the most important thing is for you to be the best person you can be and be the best friend someone else needs.