WELLY ANGEL

REVERSE

What would Deirdre do?

ADVICE FROM DEIRDRE TARRANT

PLEASE DON’T LOOK AT ME

I’m off to the beach with a bunch of friends this summer. I’m really self-concious about my body, and the idea of getting into a pair of togs gives me the heebie jeebies. How do I enjoy the beach while feeling like I need to be covered-up to be comfortable?

Over anxious, Kelburn

This is surely something everyone has felt at some stage. You don’t have to wear togs or swim. Get a lovely summer dress or shirt to wear at the beach. Wear whatever makes you feel great about yourself in particular and the world in general, and go to the beach. Sounds blissful. Enjoy! Don’t forget to slip! slop! slap! Find a fabulous hat, or try one of the numerous versions of cover-up togs.

BIG SPENDERS

I help, along with one other of my four siblings, to support my parents. My partner and I pay a sum of money each month to them, which is used towards rent and other costs.

They have recently embarked on spending which I think is extravagant. How much say do I get in how they spend money?

Dutiful daughter, Lower Hutt

Sounds like a family meeting time is due. Suggest a time for coffee or a family pot-luck dinner and have a general debrief on how your parents are going. Keep it general, but there should be some ground rules for you all. You do not indicate why all four of you do not contribute but certainly it would be good for you all to have a sense of the big picture, and some input into plans to help. Would it work to stipulate that the contribution is intended to ensure the rent is covered? Maybe they won Lotto. Talk it out and aim for transparency on your part, as long as this feels right? Clarity may save ill-feeling in the long term. Good luck.

SPY CAMERAS

My flatmate, who also owns our house, is planning on putting security cameras around the outside of the property. I feel like it’s a breach of my privacy but she insists it’s for our safety. What should I do?

Private person, Brown Owl You have shared tenancy and financial input through rent, I assume. Maybe she is right? Have a talk about cameras/ alarms/monitoring details and get a good firm to advise you. Is she nervous? Talk it out from both perspectives. Sounds like she cares, so see if you can find a way to respect both of your wishes.

FRIENDS INDEED

After I started a new business and enthusiastically posted about it on my social media, one of my closest friends unfollowed me. I messaged her and she let me know it was because I only post about my business and that she’s not really interested in it. I was shocked. Am I right to feel offended?

Highly sensitive, Porirua

Welcome to the real world! A bit harsh, but her call. Maybe include other stuff on your social media for balance. Your business and your friends don’t need to meet. Keep both and good luck with the work/life balance. It is a juggling act but totally worth it.

If you’ve got a burning question for Deirdre, email angel@capitalmag.co.nz with Capital Angel in the subject line.