‘And Another Thing...’ Greek Bean by Vince Nolan

No, not Green Bean but Greek Bean. Have a look at this guy we recently spotted in a taverna in Greece. The likeness was uncanny, and I started making Bean noises which were wasted on Stavros. Fab holiday, two weeks in the sun with She Who Must Be Obeyed but we hit the beginnings of that heatwave and at 43 degrees it was very unpleasant.

Our holiday tactic has always been to follow our noses, instincts and wherever the Greek Islanders are eating and playing. Skiathos, (Rich Shade of Trees) is our favoured spot. Of course, being an ancient Greek island, they did not reckon on ever needing a runway. Now Pegasus (the winged horse) was the closest they came to flying in those days and he did not need much room to land, whereas this one is a wee bit scary. As you will have noted my lack of Greek mythology knowledge has always been my Achilles Elbow.

On return from our holiday excursions, we repaired to our local hostelry, Zorba’s Place and overheard a lady discussing her forthcoming foreign sojourn with her partner. Two weeks in Spain with each day and evening planned with military precision and no room for imagination. I have no wish to offend any of you Chums, but we do not understand why it is that when the mercury hits 80+ degrees so many Brits light a fire to carbonise a variety of meats and then plunge into a molten outdoor bath. However, I digress. She went on to say, “I am not just after your money, you are a nice guy.” Both circa aged 60 and second time around the dance floor. She ordered fillet steak and a bottle of Prosecco and he, pie and chips, presumably to save his money that she was now spending. Then he paid the tip £1……pathetic.

What do you get when you drain a hot tub full of clowns? Several gallons of laughing stock.

Same venue and with our radar firmly on, the Current Mrs Nolan and I overheard this guy telling his wife that “they” are now doing brain transplants. We thought about this for all of two seconds and imagined the situation where say your father now has a serial killers’ brain and walks like him, talks like him and behaves like him and doesn’t know who you or any of his family/friends are nor his own name. What a marvellous scientific breakthrough! Some people.

Keeping up the romantic theme I bought the Leader of the Opposition a packet of crisps at the above venue (I know, I spoil that woman) and this one was in it. How romantic.

Nothing to do with crisps but this caught my eye the other day: “I eat my peas with honey, I’ve done it all my life. It makes the peas taste funny, but it keeps them on the knife.”

What else to tell you since we last met? Oh, just the usual. Son and heir Tom married his delightful NYPD fiancée Shannon in New York and bought a house