The animals of the animal wall at

The animals of the animal wall at Cardiff Castle

Welcome to the Animals of the Castle Wall in Cardiff.

You may not know this, but the Animals you see guarding the Castle and Bute Park have names, backgrounds, friends, enemies, partners and responsibilities. You, only see the Animals in the bright light of day. They watch people passing but, they must remain still. “Remain still like carved stone statues”, they were told long long ago. “But at night when all is still and dark and quiet enough to hear the fog horns at the coast, you can do as you wish”. After dark is when their adventures begin.

By Sara John

Now Meet The Animals

LYNDA the Lioness had always wanted to be a hairdresser. When she was just a cub she would wash and set her father’s fine golden mane. Then brush it out and spray on lacquer she had found in someone’s shopping bag left overnight on a bench in the nearby park. She failed to get an apprenticeship at a hairdressers (for ladies) but they kindly suggested to her mother that she might be more suited to pet grooming. So, she qualified and worked for some years with poodles and their many hairdos, and taildos and pawdos. In the end she became very stressed and some poodle people recognised an element of risk in having a troubled and highly strung (her mother said her problems with nerve troubles came from her father’s side of the family) lioness trimming their small dog’s coat. Customers would say when booking, “any time, any day, but NOT with Lynda”. In the end she left and took time to recover. Her parents took her to Bute Park in Cardiff one lovely autumn day and she knew, the open spaces, and the company of other animals and all the shops close by, specially Matalan, were where she wanted to be.

NICHOLLS the Lynx is from London. He had trained in a very famous sculptor’s studio and watched avidly the work going on there. Nicholls tended to keep himself to himself but was friendly and slightly sporty. He was mad about Frisbies but always needed someone to throw them for him. He had his eye on Lynda, the lioness who had been pet groomer/poodle dresser as she was dainty and pretty but he needed to check on line about mixed marriages and the risks associated with entering into such an arrangement. And how to extract himself without any risks, to life, limb, tail and his savings in the Post Office, should they not be compatible, after all.

LIONEL the leopard is very clever. He reads a lot and takes the Telegraph, daily, because it has always had a reputation for excellent foreign news coverage. When he awakes each night at midnight (well, midnight by City Hall clock that is, leopards do not wear wristwatches, they think they are less than feline, the watches that is, they, themselves are super feline), he gets up, stretches and follows his own secret route into the Library, near John Lewis, in town, and frequently borrows a book. He does not have a reader’s ticket but seems, so far, to be getting away, not with murder which is a long established family trait but with reading a lot. He has given up on finding any smart jackets for himself in John Lewis, they stock nothing in his size with sufficient spots to suit him. SYONARA the seal is a beautiful grey seal who was born off the west coast of Scotland. It was the area best known for the folk tales of ‘Selkies’ who are said to be creatures neither seal nor human who can come on land, at will, slip out of their sealskins and spend time with their land family. At night, if they wish they can go back down to the sea, slip out of their land clothes and back into their sealskins and swim off to their “Ain folk”. The females are well known for their ability to sing and make music.

When Syonara was young and at seal school she told too many people about this, and her family feared for her safety: it was said she was making it all up and frightening the younger seals. Her parents thought it best, when she was old enough, for her to follow a group of seals swimming south to warmer waters. Arrangements were made and on her journey, she passed by Dumfries, Blackpool, Conway, Menai Straits, Aberystwyth, St Davids,—“No” said the older seals who were guarding her on behalf of her family back in Scotland, “not far enough yet, but not much further”. Past Swansea, Port Talbot and at last Cardiff was in sight. The guardian seals explained that she would be escorted by older local seals who would ensure her safety and would take her on the last part of her journey up the famous River Taff and on to the Castle in Cardiff where she would be most welcome. She made a lot of friends on her journey south, all promised to keep in touch and her safe arrival in Cardiff would be transmitted

to her family in Scotland by calls, music and songs. She was told she had done well and had been very brave. One of the seals explained to her that it was thought best if she changed her name. She had been named Morag after her great Aunt Morag, a name she was not very happy with because the other young seals changed Morag to Toe-rag. “Syonara, It means Goodbye in Japanese” the senior seal suggested She was pleased with her new name, just then as her companions swished around to head north she was surrounded by singing seals, they were Welsh you see, and they were singing, “We’ll keep a welcome in the hillside, we’ll keep a welcome in the vale……” Fighting back salty seal tears, Syonara thought to herself, I think I am going to like it here.

VERNON the Vulture is a decent enough vulture. The other animals talked about him behind his wings and marveled at his immense appetite and wide range of foodstuffs. What they did not always appreciate, and he was tired of telling them, was that without Vultures, and there were not that many, if any, in Cardiff or Penarth anyway, plus their Fox colleagues, Rats, Pine Martens, rodents assorted, insects and so on down the system, the whole place would be littered with carcasses, half eaten burgers, cold dead chips, recently deceased animals and possibly aliens from Outer Space who expire from hunger and thirst when they land in Cardiff and can find nowhere to park. The Aliens can never find toilets either that are not designated Male or Female. They, of course, being ahead of the game are neither.

Vernon is very clean and tidy but does not seem to be popular with the others. He is probably on the bossy side, always on about clearing up after picnics and other outings and not leaving behind even a clawprint, hoofprint or pawprint. He liked to remind everyone that he is a ‘Green Crusader’, the smaller animals thought he belonged to a secret society. He did not disavow them of their thoughts.

PHILIP The Pelican. He is always good fun, he always joins in, a real team player. Keeps all his belongings in his capacious beakbill (that is what he calls it). His belongings are quite few really, a tape measure, some very pretty shells, a scout’s penknife, a double ended pencil and an unopened packet of Polo Mints. He owns some pre-war, unopened tins of sardines but nobody, NO BODY, knows where he keeps them. He says they are for emergencies only, but refuses to define ‘emergency’

AUSTIN the Anteater, is slow, cautious and always on the lookout for ants. He just loves ants. When he was small his mother used to make him ant toffee and sometimes ant crumble with just a pinch of ginger., with custard of course. He never raises his head to see where he is going, in case he misses an ant, so he often has Elastoplasts on his considerable proboscis. He appears to be older than he really is. However because his grandfather whom he greatly admired, lived to be 475 he is keen to reach that considerable age too. RODERICK AND ROSEMARY are the Raccoons who were born into a circus family. They are brother and sister and played as children pretending to be gymnasts. When they were older and had their own spot in the circus they did not like moving tent and cage every Thursday so after fetching the Racing Times every morning from local shops for five years at sixpence a time for the Jugglers who were eager gamblers at the circus, they saved all their sixpences and bought a one way weekday ticket to Cardiff . They are both, having been all their younger lives in show business, great fun and still very fast and agile.

HENRIETTA the Hyena, and you can ask any of the others, is a scheming minx. Some would change that noun for another. She says, in her own defence that she was brought up as a “pack animal”. Hyenas live, eat, breed and hunt in PACKS! She was left behind in a sand storm in the desert and was rescued by a botanist of repute. He was Finnish, quite brilliant in his specialism of plants and flowers but lacking in experience of the world of animals. He assumed the word ‘animal’ was English for ‘Reindeer’ not having ever really looked at any other creatures as he was born, raised and educated within the Arctic Circle. They, the other animals, were all too big to put under a microscope and when he was very busy with his academic work he got them confused with the cars and buses that he saw in Helsinki.

Henrietta was eventually brought to Cardiff but found that Bute Park had no other hyenas and when she first arrived and went out on expeditions by herself was often rounded up and labelled “A funny looking dog-animal”. “No wonder she is so disaffected”, Lynda the Lioness said, “she has never been loved”, “Nor eaten, yet” said the Lions who were always hungry and had recently tried to become lightly anti-vegan. “I am a lion” each would announce to all around, “I do not eat salads: but I do, still, enjoy rare roast hyena though, and always, with plenty of gravy”.

TWO APES called Jeremy and Jeanette had fallen in love as teenagers when they were living in a small private zoo. Although they had every loving care, en- suite bathrooms, fresh fruits from round the world, radios with the World Service, free scented toiletries, feather pillows and adoring visitors they were not

permitted actually, to share premises. They had hoped they could, at last be ‘together’ when they first arrived at the Castle grounds but there had been complaints, mostly from people with young children.

It was something to do with Health and Safety, or that is what they claimed. The Press had got hold of it, as it were and as they often do made things much worse. Even though the City Authorities had notices up in four languages saying DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME there had been a visit from the Licensing Department. Nowadays, Jeremy and Jeanette were approaching middle age and were less adventurous, amorous and ‘agricultural’ than previously. As long as they had access to daytime television, out of sync these days of course, but that did not worry them, bananas, and a clean warm place to sleep together, they were happy to go along with the flow.

BRUNO. The big strong brown bear was great fun, a real character, up for anything, dangerously friendly but able to turn his paw to any task or job that needed to be attended to. He was a rescue bear and had been a performing bear in Eastern Europe. He had had no freedom, he had to put up with doing a lot of non- bear things and his employers were happy when the customers laughed at him for being, as it were a non-bear.

One day he was collected by some people who spoke a strange language. He saw money changing hands and papers being signed. Then some very senior policemen arrived and put up notices saying that from now on there would be no more animal performances. The whole thing was closed down just like that! Poor Bruno, he thought the worst. He was helped into the back of a very posh “bear carrier” on wheels with a grand suspension system. With funny number plates and a blue badge that said UK. A lady got in the back with him and sang some songs which lulled him to sleep. When he woke, he thought to himself, oh well I am still here! But, we are moving at great speed. “Oh dear me, what is to become of me?” The singing lady played on her lute and gave him some honey sandwiches which were delicious, followed by baklava, as many as he wanted, and a big dish of blackberries, more than enough to make endless pots of jam. He began to feel a great deal better. He settled down. She told him the story of what had been happening and what was going to happen. Although he could not understand her words he listened to the reassuring music in her voice. He relaxed for the first time for a very long time, he dozed pleasantly for the rest of the journey and began to discover what had been happening to him. Later on, the driver of the vehicle, came around to the back of the truck to share some food and cakes and started speaking to him in Bulgarian. Months later, and thinking about that time, he was able to piece together the tale, which at the time had made little sense. It would appear that a charity devoted to releasing working or performing animals had raised awareness of their conditions and had asked people in the UK to help to find them new homes. The money raised was used to “buy” their freedom in exactly the same way that Dr. Livingston visited Slave Markets in Africa and instead of trying to persuade the slave traders to free these human beings, simply bought them their freedom with money sent from Britain for that purpose. There was a message at the Channel Ferry for Bruno from someone called Audrey from Cardiff who had heard about the sad plight of these performing creatures losing their dignity to make others rich and was DETERMINED to help. She had saved, raised and given enough money for Bruno to have his freedom and enjoy life as a bear. She had helped to find him a home with people who studied and wrote about animals and who lived in the countryside just outside Cardiff. Bruno breathed an enormous sigh of relief, this had not been his imagination after all. He was not making it up in his head, it was real. It was for keeps. After a few relaxing and happy years his carers were asked if Bruno would like to retire to Cardiff Castle and live with the other animals. They took him to meet everyone and it was clear that it was a warm sociable environment with acres of Bute Park for adventures. “Yes please” he growled.

BERTRAM. The beaver is always very busy. Bertram’s one topic of conversation, other than his construction work is the life, times and work of Isambard Kingdom Brunel.

He still repeats the story of his ancestors helping to “move the River Taff” a bit further over to its present position west of Westgate Street, instead of being, as it was originally, IN Westgate Street. It was the mid 1850’s, so the story goes, and Mr Brunel was fretting over the need to move the river, work generally carried out under the auspices of what is called an ‘Act of God’. Suddenly, as he was flicking through his early copy of Arthur Mees Children’s Encyclopedia, which he relied on for his amazing projects such as Suspension Bridges, Tunnels under Tidal Estuaries, Iron Ships and Railroads, suddenly, he saw the future. He often saw the future and then constructed what he saw! But this was a future employing Beavers! He read that they worked in return for board and lodging, had their own meetings, prepared their own plans, frightened the planning authorities,

never had their radios blasting unsavoury music while they were working and kept their nether regions well out of sight and under water. The book had pictures of a family of Beavers drawing up plans for constructing dams. The name the Beaver family had chosen for their company was BEAVERS INTERNATIONAL DAM. BUILDING COMPANY. Their mission statement was “Pie in the Sky Projects Welcome” Although, their granny used to comment that it was “More like Sky in the Pie”. She did not live long enough to hear of their success, all kept top secret of course, of the Boulder Dam in Colorado or the Aswan Dam in Egypt! They, the beavers, were Mr Brunel’s answer to his problem.

BURGES and WILLIAM.

The Two Lions at the Gate. Inseparable, delighting in each other’s company. The two lions loved each other very deeply. They were both very artistic, and not just in the Oscar Wilde tradition. They loved all things, shapes, items, flowerpots, fabrics in the Medieval style and adored everything that Cardiff Castle and Castle Coch were about. Clever themselves they were well able to identify and encourage others to build, garden, paint, decorate, invent, design, in fact all and everything creative.

They shared the same astrological sign which should have been a warning to them both. But, planning their future together they had, being a cautious pair, been to a relationship specialist. When they explained to him that they wanted to be “Bonded Together for Ever” even though they had the same star sign he suggested they should just go for it, anyway. The Relationship Specialist turned out to be an owl (they were able to get an appointment quite easily because the Owl only worked nights anyway) and currently he was doing some freelance work as he had become ill adjusted to academic life and felt that at his age he only wanted to read Hello magazine and not have to study leather bound volumes written by hand and covered in dust. Burgees and William are still discussing plans, guests’ seating arrangements, wine lists, dance or disco?, inviting vegans? not inviting pets? Invitation cards, plain or deckle? Times New Roman or Luminari? Spraying swans pink to match the blancmange? purple or silver fireworks? and whether or not to ask everyone to walk about on stilts otherwise it is ‘bad luck’ for the Lion pair’s future. It is expected to be some considerable time before we get to the magical day of their Bonding Event.

Wallace the Wolf was popular and very very brave. He had never cried even when he was a cub, and his sister pulled his fur. Although he too was a pack animal he was easy going about the company of the other animals. He was always ready to go up the Taff Trail at night when the animals were Off Duty and eager to jump down off the wall around the Castle and stretch their paws. They always had to be back well before dawn for a number of reasons. If they stayed outside the magical Castle wall when it was getting light they changed back into strong, heavy, stone statues. So the smaller animals trailing behind those with longer legs, were often in danger of being taken by people and put on display in front gardens; even worse they could end up being painted with cheap paint, bought in Woolworths years and years ago and now, far from fresh. There was a risk of them getting lost because the entire Savannah, as they called what we call Bute Park went on forever. “It goes as far as the foothills of the Brecon Beacons” explained one of the senior animals, “I read about it in my book about the Romans”. All the animals had to look smart and more than just neat and tidy. “You have to look as though you are ready to defend Cardiff from Aliens, even if you are only directing them down Penarth Road and suggesting some sea air.” Said Bruno the bear, who always added that he had had enough of travelling anyway. Wallace the wolf had taken it upon himself to organise the ‘Big Annual Animal Wall Animals’ Outing’. It usually took place midwinter because that afforded the most time away from the Castle grounds. It was annual because it took about eleven months to reach any sort of agreement about what to do and where to go. Wallace was good at this sort of think, only the lions dared to raise a roar. This was easily dealt with by a show of perfect teeth from Wallace who had a first class dentist in Whitchurch – Mr Dandy - private of course.

Postscript Wallace is asking for suggestions from all the Animals for the very popular mid Winter Animals Annual Night Out. So far he has had little help or proper suggestions. Can you think of somewhere interesting to go? So far his list looks like this; Phil the Pelican……………Fish market in Devon Austin the Anteater……… Any garden close by R. & R.Racoons……………Madagascar Lionel the Leopard……… . Morgan’s Butcher stall in the Market Bertram the Beaver……….Anywhere that is flooded Vernon the Vulture………..a landfill site near good restaurants Henrietta………………….Claire’s Accessories in town Wallace the wolf and organiser…..I don’t care!!! J&J the Apes………………Any big forest Syonara the seal………….a trip round the Barry Island Bruno the bear…………….go to the pictures plus popcorn Lynda the Lioness……….shopping. shopping. shopping Nicholls the Lynx……….a big stone quarry in Italy B&W the Gate Lions……Fortnum and Mason or Harrods