Cardiff Times - January 2024 by Cardiff Times Magazine

January 2024

CARDIFF TIMES

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CARDIFF TIMES 3

Requiescat in pace

byWyn Evans

explained the course of events; Nanna had died. In last month’s article, I explained how The Boss’s There were the expected tears of sadness. mum, Janice, had had a stroke and subsequently died of pneumonia. The Girl, my seventeen year old daughter who has Down Syndrome, stayed After a while The Girl ceased crying and told her home with me last week while The Boss travelled to mam that she had seen a programme on YouTube Yorkshire to be with her step-dad and start handling the that suggested that when people die they get to arrangements. The Boss and I had decided that I would spend more time with members of their families who not mention Nanna’s death to The Girl while the Boss had themselves died. She continued: “...it means was away, and that we’d tell her together when The Nanna will now get to have more time with her other Boss got home on Friday. That was the plan anyway. I daughter, your sister, Katherine”. (Katherine had died got a phone-call from her early Friday afternoon. She of Hodgkin’s Disease over thirty years ago.) was phoning from Tamworth services to tell me she had the mother and father of all headaches. (“It was as The Boss and I determined that this was a rite of if the road was shimmering as I looked at it.”) Clearly passage moment which The Girl should attend. in no state to drive she booked in overnight at the Mother and daughter subsequently set to packing all services and slept for fifteen straight hours, which was they’ll need for their three days at Nanna’s funeral. I the wise choice. She awoke Saturday morning free of would stay at home, being unwell myself. pain and arrived home about 1130 hours. After the obligatory welcome home hugs, The Girl asked her mum how Nanna was doing. The Boss

4 CARDIFF TIMES

Me to The Girl: Are you taking your phone and... TG:.. and charger, yes. I’ll need that bad boy to talk to my friends [The Boss snorts]; and to know what’s

going on... Me:... Surely, the first thing you’ll do is phone your dad to tell him you got there safely and to see how dad’s doing... TG, dismissively: ...yeah, that too. Now, where’s that bad boy’s charger? The Boss: [snorts again and picks up a hankie - to wipe her eyes.] Where did you get ‘bad boy’ from?! TG, firmly: mam, don’t! The Boss started familiarising The Girl with what a funeral/service of remembrance/ cremation are for. She explained that she would be telling the congregation four little anecdotes about her mum. She offered The Girl the opportunity to do the same, if she had something she wanted to say. She said she did want to say a few things - which she told her mum, who helped her write them down and type it all up. Then they ran through what they both would be saying and shed more than a few tears. The Girl would speak after her mum and the intention was that she would introduce a little clip of Nikki’s sister, Katherine, playing the flute. This clip was one of Janice’s treasured memories. Events, however, intervened. Tuesday morning dawned. The Girl had had had her Pfizer Covid booster on the previous Sunday afternoon. Monday night from 0030 hours through 0515 she was sick - retching - every half hour. She got no sleep and I got still less. But The Girl was in no state to travel, so she wouldn’t be saying her words of love and remembrance at Jan’s funeral service on Wednesday afternoon after all. The Boss would cover for her. The Girl would be really upset when she recovered but you can tell how ill she felt this morning by virtue of the fact that she asked to go back to bed. The Boss travelled alone to Pontefract Crematorium in Yorkshire. The point in the service arrived where The Boss would say her few words. “I would like to share just a few moments from my life with mum. When I was a small child, I was quite sickly. I had an illness that meant I had to stay in bed for a few weeks, no running around. Mum drew a mural that covered all of one wall of my room. It was fairyland, with castles and flowers and toadstools. She drew fairies hiding behind toadstools and flowers and little houses built into trees. I spent absolutely ages

trying to find them all. It was all t keep me entertained without leaving the confines of my bed. “Mum was fiercely independent. When I recently passed my driving test and bought the kind of car that was falling apart, mum taught me how to use a Haynes manual. If you are young, you will have to Google that. This car needed a new alternator – the thing that charged the battery. So, I was reading the instructions from the Haynes manual and mum was under the car with a spanner. My boyfriend at the time came along and asked if he could do anything. Quick as a flash, mum said ‘Yes, go and make us a cup of tea’. Mum was on a diet for my while life. She was so determined to lose weight that she tried everything. She counted calories, weighed ingredients, attended all the different classes she could find. Everything was successful to a degree, but not sustainable and she would give up, until the next time. In the January shortly before she was eighty, she told me she was going to lose four stones. You must understand that I had heard this kind of talk once or twice before, but she really sounded determined this time. She said ‘I’m eighty this year so it really is now or never’. She joined Slimming World and she steadily last those four stones and did not put them back on. We spoke everyday and we shared recipes and much else. As with many things, mum was my inspiration. “Mum was very determined and would not let anything hold her back. One guaranteed was to spur her on was to tell her that she couldn’t do something. After the stroke, the doctor told her that she would never walk again. When I spoke to her that evening she said to me ‘they don’t know who they’re dealing with’! “When mum met Angharad for the first time, she told me that she felt the love welling up inside – much as I am now. Angharad is unwell and cannot be with us here today but here are the words she asked me to say on her behalf: ‘My name is Angharad and Janice was my Nanna. I will miss Nanna. I have known her my whole life. Now I won’t be able to see her with my eyes or give her a hug. I will be able to see her in my mind. I will be able to hold her in my heart. Now Nanna will be able to see her other daughter, my auntie Katherine, who died before I was born. Katherine used to play the flute. That is why we chose the next song, because it starts with a flute playing’.” Thus did my two girls pay tribute to their mum and nanna: Janice Hall, who lived a long life, well lived. Goodbye Jan, and rest in peace.

CARDIFF TIMES 5

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cardiff-times.co.uk 7

‘And Another Thing...’ Non Microsoft Windows

byVince Nolan

Sadly, we recently lost another Club stalwart at St. Peter’s Rugby Club and I was asked to write a few words of praise in his honour. Drawing from a rich well of info previously Ireland). We don’t know anyone there but it is penned by our former Club Secretary, Des far enough away that nobody will come to the Childs, I wrote the following: “In his younger wedding, which will save us a fortune.” Nice days Mike found himself on tour with the Club to see romance is alive and well even for the and a group retired to one of the bedrooms older geezer. The origin of the word geezer late on Saturday evening for “prayers.” One is an interesting one. It appears to derive of their number locked the door, (a very from the now obsolete term guiser, meaning sensible precaution to take whilst on tour) someone who walks around in disguise, a and much altar wine was consumed. Alas the performer in a masquerade from the Middle key to the room somehow vanished and ten Ages. All of which reminded me that I once tourists were locked in. Since nobody was tried to sneak into a Star Trek convention rude enough to break the door down (this disguised as a Doctor. The security guard was St. Peter’s after all), Mike volunteered stopped me as he suspected I was not the to go out of the window, along the ledge real McCoy. and in through the window of the next room from where he would go down to reception and pick up the pass key (no phones in those days). In true Spiderman style he climbed out onto the ledge. Let’s just say he was not built for such precipitous nocturnal balancing adventures. Nevertheless, spurred on by his fellow inmates, (sorry, teammates), he managed to move along the ledge and opened and climbed through the next available window. Unfortunately, it was the second window to the room he had just exited. Much merriment all around. Only a daylight inspection revealed that the ledge was six inches wide and some 30 feet off the I know Christmas is now a distant memory as ground. Divine intervention? Very likely and we focus on breaking the New Year resolutions a true story.” we may have made. Nonetheless, this decoration caught my eye at a well-known Sat in the local pub recently whilst She was quality coffee emporium. At first blush we at her Maiming for Beginners Class and two have a happy family decorating their tree ready guys were sat behind me but in earshot. The for Santa. However, on closer inspection, one asked the other if he had anything it seemed to me that Mum had deliberately new to report and he said: “We have been wrapped the tree lights around Dad who engaged for 15 years so we thought we was then being electrocuted whilst Junior would get married whilst her Mum is still with mocked him. Note the smiles on their faces us, (they were in their 60’s), so we are getting as they imagine the insurance pay-out whilst married in County Wicklow (East Coast of Dad has a 240 volt rictus grin. Of course, I 8 CARDIFF TIMES

Just tohanging. beten clear: Didrefused youorhear about the urologist a pardon inpostulated 1833 ortunately, only six of us turned up and abeing of wereHe required theelectric inminimum thedue early 19th century. As the hecklers toiled in the Stereophonics and Tom Jones a fractional charge, under 14’s t bad news forold-timers the Cardiff a carrying grave error? Between typos and autocorrect Ig,engaged four who were in the bar (could have been the who was eaten by a bear? He was a meteorologist if I were illegally hunting for at the Principality Stadium which had sold as building blocks of the hadrons. Quarks Andrew Jackson andthe from President derhosen Formation Slap Dancing Ensemble it’sone getting harder to post stuff read these out days. One the whether factory, of the team would days edout ones from Taff Vale) and asked were them they fancied having a Citythe hotels. The concerts then have not been directly observed but theoretical (meaty urologist, oh please yourselves). I have questionable morels? ho will the no longer be slapping each other as tiny mistake and your whole post is urined. news and others would butt in with constant was executed after Supreme Court and free beerand for the afternoon. Fearing some kind of the honey trap, they took the found athey City centre hotel predictions based their existence have rt cancelled ofa their routines unless are given may havewe been watching too many crime Say what you see: on Bare feet (Bear feet). The Leader of the Opposition and I were sitting in all deer who has lost both ingfor that myhurrah! offer wasHowever, genuine. the Cautiously, they agreed to join us. Picture theit and a has stream of “furious debate.” fickleinterruptions finger been rmed experimentally.” Oh The world taken a down –please! at leastWith ruled he could turn he wanted ecial £80, dispensation by our First Minister. documentaries. So a confi bear walked into astrange bar andiftwist said: “Give scene, 5pm onas sunny ourinsocially local, The Funky Furlough, ccident? No eye deer. of fate (presumably the middle one),this then And for mesons and baryons, we could be the parts I collated seem to occupy. Iquality have been me a agin and ………..tonic.” “Why the big mind Idistanced have some put-downs to. No pleasing some folk. weekday evening at the side How long have you had arthritis?” “IRugby don’t intervened and cancelled thespecials office lunch here allabout night. aw this Trump inAlas a local pub board: reading a proposal for the 2027 and alack my local Tonsorial Teasing pause?” asked the bartender. The bear when a lady close by to us asked the Bar Manager when dies, Ion willtheir give which comics have used toI was deal with modern day entrance to the Brewery onwill shrugged. “IFather,” guess born with recently closed and morphed us toand wander lonely as some clouds We leaving Love Department Local champion local farms World Cup which prevent any them.” team in “but red I have arthritis, the drunk said, iffacilities theCaroline toilets were still upstairs. He ofother course “He it is today how he aswarmed hecklers: IStreet was at the hairdressers the day for my where four ey: time tried to into a All coffee shop. was forced tofirst seek around the Castle and itsIwas outdoor bar densure fisheries.” very laudable but the shirts and green shirts playing each other that we had properly up since we didn’t want to pull any drinking just read inlocal thewatering paper that the and Pope does.” Continuing January scalping when the Jimmy Inwho the hole (again) sat alternative arrangements. Quite by chance pensioners could barely until frostbite got the better offront us and forced usand confi rmed that they were but Ipeople thought thisNail to song be ato earing make-up and lying inof m on their menu was Mediterranean Olives. because colour blind often struggle . Unfortunately, only six us turned up a minimum of ten were required or the he other three behind a Doubt company rep who seemed toon bethe I in returned to adid barbering emporium Ifun, had “Ain’t Nohanging - She’s Lying” came “What size ofseen shoe does your mouth take?” stand were onto back to a the hotelsame we not need. Much but verheard pub: “Every time we distinguish between the two. Not criticising Staying with the drink, there has always the rope very stupid question. I on would have said something mlinson sme off. I engaged old-timers who were inthem the bar (could have been the not many a year. The permanently the phone. He said: wireless. Totally unscripted, we, the“IWales, masked ahow lamppost, for rather we quickly foundfour outfor that there is asay. limit to here wefrequented come here.” You don’t of support, course but this would affect been much snobbery attached to wine. owner recognised me and during the usual have been in this game since 1918.” One like: “I don’t know d by the son of a good friend singers in the chairs and our masked stylists theme: “This is what comes from drinking on an empty entioned oneswine fromone the Taff Vale) and asked them whether they fancied a much mulled can drink before falling than illumination. An Canada, Ireland, Tonga, Russia,having South Africa assumed he meant 2018 given his apparent conversation he said: “I have not seen you tyrite sell-buy dates before Indeed, people make a living from it, all started to sway and sing to the music in a over. afternoon they would and Japan. This had me in mind of that quote when madam was a urology for his Dad’s head.” tour and free beer for the afternoon. Fearing some kind of honey trap, they took Soap youth.reminiscent Alternatively,from he could haveMonty meantwhen for a long time.” I said: “No, on it’s been twenty scene The Full but I am making a stand because of thewho supermarket on aeulogy Friday 3onvincing shopsyears,…..I I that really Tedhim Lowe never…… remember. have been away.” The silence wasfrom justBBC after snooker aagreed quarter commentator past seven making with us butat we e the heart to say my offer was genuine. Cautiously, they tolast join us. Picture the they all started dancing inof the queue the a rope famously said during one his commentaries: lockdowns. I’m giving up wine, every “I know where you were when they were handing les that would make the deafening as he weighed up who whether Ithe maydynamic an expert for all of ten minutes. It got better.day, all with Mark Dacey (on the leS) is CEO of oots and job centre. Fortunately all sharp implements scene, 5pm on a them sunny moved out to meant. had Anyway, here “And those ofcalls who are watching in black A drunk who smelled like ayou He for made three and promised three been away at is His Majesty’s Pleasure Pope onthe a brains month. No wait, that’s not it.minutes I’m giving out………getting an extra helping ofup. ad some doubt whether were downed for a few short and then eges. It does not need me to suggest the uncanny and white, the pink next to the green.” s and sausage weekday evening at the side brewery got on a bus and satisthey different people that had won the same or for some other reason. I did not put him the car park many Wine every day all month! without further comment, just like a musical, mouth.” r for the home. rope outjourney of hisor misery and twenty years is a long contract he was responsible for. Heinthen down next to a priest. The Tomlinson vice versa. entrance to the Brewery ekyhad of months ago as aonthe ale, (heenough was affectionately everybody went back to their day job like Interesting lyric we heard on the wireless stretch. proceeded to reveal to each person who s nothing to do with EU drunk's shirt was stained, his Two people out onwere a first date. “Do you Caroline Street where four nothing had happened. Lockdown a lot to no other day: “Sports bra and aconsequence Maserati car.” “Do you know, ifbright you wore soundproof trousers theof other bidders and listened tohas them direct because of before his likeness e-buy to home school face was full red dates but a recent trip to my local supermarket ction ofStaying the packaging answer for but that was very funny. slagging each other off. Nice bloke and nice with hair matters, this is a picture like Merlot Tammy?” “Yes, but you don’t Who would thought of which that combination? pensioners who could barely once owned one of the chewed pencils one would hear a word saying.” lipstick and he had ahave half-you’re ofWhich Covid19.” Perhaps nperishables leader), involved a tripImake light ofofthe would following Monday. In I methat and Conservative MP,the Sir Michael approach tofact business. leads me nicely or fruit and veg like Apparently many have including a poet called pronounce the “t.” “Oh, Ok.” Looks at stand were seen hanging onto empty bottle of wine sticking usedDave to his famous works. He used The of The Opposition and I were Fabricant. This wasShakespeare taken at a Christmas towrite aLeader work-based game which She Who Must this is why I do not run ales play France. We Cox whom I have just “discovered”. these comestibles would make it to the car for the journey home. What is going one day leS on the sell-buy date. It takes an inordinate amount of skill to sup hen it’sparty serious, “Is thatofyour real face or are you still celebrating hislistening pocket. He opened “Two Merlots for me and Ammy.” to Michael Ball on the wireless. a lamppost, for support, rather a few years ago where there was outwaiter: Be Obeyed and I play whilst doing missionary Intellectual property rules prevent me itquoting to chew on with itof.so much that Istarted couldn’t whether was atell pub. 0th year relationship with in-@me” 24 hours towas spare. Waste levels must be We astronomical. his and s, picked, He interviewing Donny Osmond a dressing-up box to take advantage work with our fellow alcoholics. try who and to EU supply issues? Closer inspec@on ofnewspaper the packaging the excitement. mum of tenpackaged, were required or Halloween?” than illumination. An any of his work here but I encourage you Our friend Drthe Hother has trained her dog Daisy uple of minutes later,I he asked theor priest, "Father, what causes arthritis?" Fortunately do not 2B look like this normally guess what groups do for living from A in wife sent her played them home and had been appearing in panto ata the London not 2B. Staying with Bard, days gone by, distributed UK recent WalesOnline article bizarrely claimed him up. A real comedy genius and hugely fruitoff. and vegaround like Tanzania and Argen@na. So these Staying withstriped food, I look have been doing some research intoetc what isthen no longer ma as engaged four old-timers afternoon they would Sir Michael does. Thewicked blue their clothing, manners, attitudes and aused by Iwhereas loose living, being with cheap, women, too much alcohol, and to bring her a bottle of red wine. No surprise Palladium. Donny was speaking about a “Your bus leaves in 10 minutes... Be under it.” husband a romantic ernational weekends. On at GPs were working 40 months an hour refreshing. o the shops and put on in order to attract women, I used to use this quote from the UK. The list is endless but here is a small sample: Pringles (Belgium), Sm we vote on whether want to share shirts are the a bitpriest spooky though. in the bar (could have been the tothat," o@c climes, picked, packaged, taken the port or airport, your fellow man," replied. "Imagine theformer drunk muttered. He we never…… remember. acting mentor ofwould his who told him sat the really, she’s a Bordeaux collie. I was phrase we ertime. I have no doubt they are ridiculously text message. wrote: “Ifhim.. are sleeping, send Mike’s fiones rst), we didpriest, it in Taff the theirShe working Almost invariably on the sell-buy date. It Vale) Colman’s English Mustard (Act Germany), Terrys Chocolate (France) eading his The thinking about what had said, turned toenvironment. the following: “Theatre isyou the only place where ioned from the “Well, it’s night out for and aOrange night offyou forand his Shakespeare’s Hamlet, III, Scene IV, line 82: Ia have also been reading Bob Mortimer’s Recent crossword clue: “Brush under the ses then delivered to40 the shops and put he on the shelves with etched atpaper. present, but months an hour? with She Who Must Be Obeyed the other the answers are (a) no and (b) undertakers. he 18th Century Parliament) Sauce (The Netherlands). Staggering. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had can dream in public. Your job as an actor is of skill to supply goods me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your aogised: bus to Dover, ferry crossing autobiography which I also strongly carpet 5 and 4.” The answer was “gloss over.” them they at’s overwhether three years an fancied hour. The only way day whilst she family.” A drunk who smelled like a sipped a glass of very wine to deliver thatFunny, dream” which weand thought was don't have arthritis, Father," the drunk said,smile. "but I just read in the paper that poignant recommend. clever, Picture the poor student trying to maybe learn English. o spare. Waste levels straight was do would be to time travel so If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are s. I this was sitting next to him. At Staying with job types, I took a test last Here’s one for you: “Knock knock.” “Who’s there?” “LiKle oldweek lady.” rewery tour and free beer for the brewery got on amuch, bus and sat “LiKle o and she said, “I love you so you rather good. Oh yes it is. s." but enough about me. In it he recalls a tale “Hello.” Student – try it in a German accent: “If I ey were referring to Dr Who. In “Imy world this to see if I could become an insect inspector. “I need you like Van Gogh needed stereo.” had no idea you could yodel.” drinking, send me adown sip. If next you are me Offizis cer cameofonto Fearing some kind trap, pCustoms and weft). Of toI could acrying, priest. The about having chronic asend child understand correctly, inhoney ze afirst place you know. Icourt don’t know how ever I think I will get the jobflatulence because I as boxed alllive ould be like driving at 40 hours mile which I was reading about a case where the accused Thanks to my cousin Lawrence for this joke. the drink, there hasbut always been some convincing that my offer which was both embarrassing and atwork times tears. Ithe love Her husband texted back: “ as Just hold up your passports brushing benease your carpet zen right ticks. Also, I threshold previously worked as drunk's shirt was stained, his ould be quite slow not unlike towalked I trying amand awas man ofyou awithout certain age soyou.” my does aswine well thare the related you.” Itolerance said, “Is that you or the Iyour into our local bar, The Moaning Monet anit een doing some research What do you call a Frenchman wearing ery attached to wine. Indeed, a lumberjack for three years and I know that very painful. During one particular attack he add shiny paint over it. You British!” was described as “having murderous intent.” I was Cautiously, they agreed to join us. the recent traffic carnage in Cardiff par@cularly when being asked to embrace new technology. I was therefore I’m in the toilet, please advise.” egotiate along and count them and face full ofon bright red talking?” She said, “It’s me talking to the sandals? Phillipe Flop! Quickly by a I h Van Gogh sitting atwas the end afollowed bar stool. init,they the UK. The I cut down 10,432 trees. How’s that you aactured living from butimpose I am making alanessaw went to the Doctors who managed to “release ty Centre as bike on the e scene, 5pmword a sunny weekday She WhoaMust Be Obeyed suggested I download anothing newI app called what I time writ: quite topoem learn that had to doWhat3Wo lipstick and hedown had akept halfost me and said “Ion didn’t know Staying with games, I completed wordwine.” ask? Every I cut one aDoctor log. shouted “Hey Vince do you want a drink?” emall of the lockdowns. I’m giving up disappointed the pressure” forthis him. He quotes the sample: Pringles of us. et’s call her Dr naviga@on aid which divides the World into 3 metre squares and gives each s the side entrance to the Brewery In Tesco café theand other day (I know, living New Finally, a former boss once told me tosticking stop myNophone I correctly guessed asRoses saying: “Better an empty house than a empty bottle of wine ay, all month. wait, that’s not Happy Yearcan Dear Reader, the Year of the ortpuzzle and Ion haven’t got one.” I camping. with a), Colman’s English be red, Violets are purple. Just the dream). The lady serving me my cup of acting like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot combina@on ofFinally, three words. I s@ll“No drivethanks, about a lot for business, believe it or atenant” blessing for the drink: God,good. ingot his one theevery they were looking for was with Dr Rword who ee that Street where four pensioners He shouted back: I’ve already Sainted Mother-In-Law was looking for car noisy which I thought was very up. Wine day all month! out of his pocket. opened saying. Ox. Apparently this year is going toHe be lucky words to that effect. Then, inassured a“Nobody down. coffee said: “Stirrer?” I said has Chocolate Orange Hadron as in the Hadron Collider. Having no that this system would be much more accurate than using our sat na goodness, sent the grapes, to cheer both surance now that her stunt driving days are Presumably this was in the days before the barely stand were seen hanging ear.” ing. We recently Finally, news, my friend David has lost ID. called mewas before but you’re probably not Ox his newspaper andhis started out on awhat first date. “Do like this really all Isad decided with the representing diligence, persistence of aclue War 2that prisoner ofabout war Parliament) (The the first @me the other day and the unique three word loca@on I was looking er. IWorld managed toSauce find a you reasonable policy, Doctors were working 40 months an hour. aNew topYear bathroom tip:Keep Never leave your greatFinally, and small. Little fools will drink too mppost, for support, rather than Happy Chums. smiling. wrong.” y?” “Yes, but look itpinned. up. I don’t wishforIpronounce hadront (see .ducked Atocouple ofyou minutes later, he asked the priest, "Father, what causes arthritis?" ote was rted it outdown and paid it.footwell She bovvered inAre turn Now he iskindly just Dav. Lost!” Design fault or user error? pile ointment next to your toothpaste! and honesty. Not for going to be Trump’s year into the Adios Amigos much and fools none at all. My round. n. An they would Oh, Ok.” Looks at waiter: “Twobeing what Iafternoon did there): “Any member of a class of Hasta la great Vista. mbursed me with this immortal covering it's caused by loose living, with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, and door. Live Radio then is it? ed his coat and mine on top of subatomic areisbuilt from quarksI Chums eremember. and Ammy.”particles Yamas Chums Hasta Labank.” Vista mail: “Thank you, the that Monet in the kpt knock.” “Who’s there?” for your fellow man," the priest replied. "Imagine that," the drunk muttered. He and thus react through the agency of the be outdone we ocourse move, whilst we were both countered this with “There was really H to has trained her dog Daisy toThe bring her amesons, bottle of redabout wine. No surprise who?” had no idea ddy reading his paper. priest, thinking what he had said, turned to the strong force. The hadrons embrace ho smelled apriceless brewery got need to give“Ilike me a impressionist gng uncontrollably. The Customs note: “Please Bordeaux collie. I was sat with She Who Must Be Obeyed the other day whilst baryons and their many resonances.” Trouble butdown thank"I'm you sorry, anyway.” dinting apologised: I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had and sat next to a priest. , did is I the thencount, wantedmissed to knowMike what a quark was. ?" shirt "I don't arthritis, Father," the drunk said, "but I just read in the paper that ’s washave stained, his face when people type ewe sohave my observed tolerance

ebright does."red lipstick and he had well as it used to pty bottle of wine sticking out of ed to embrace new .with He opened histhere newspaper and been the drink, has always

cardiff-times.co.uk 9

10 CARDIFF TIMES

What would you like to achieve in 2024?

As we embrace the New Year what goals would you like to achieve? Perhaps feeling more calm and relaxed in your day to day life, get more enjoyment out of life, lead a healthier lifestyle (eat more healthily, stop smoking, reduce alcohol, stop gambling), gain more confidence in work or so-cially, get the job that you want, sleep better, reduce pain, cope better with grief or overcome fears. As Einstein said “if you always do what you always did, you will always get what you always got’. So why not consider having Hypnotherapy and Healing now so that you can start your journey and make lasting changes to achieve the life that you want! Whilst goals are important it is actually the process that is even more important, and I can help you with my bespoke toolkit. Hypnotherapy and Healing are both complementary therapies that work alongside conventional medicine effectively. As a Hypnotherapist, Energy Healer (Master Reiki Practitioner & Teacher and Spiritual Healer) and Counsellor I work with clients on a subconscious (hypnotherapy), conscious (counselling) and spiritual (healing) level at the same time resulting in clients being able to make much quicker progress whatever their aspirations are. So why not get in touch with me now to find out more

on how Hypnotherapy and Healing could help you. I have been helping people for over 10 years and in 2023 was delighted to receive the Hypnosis Business of the Year award. You will be assured of a warm welcome, have plenty of time to discuss your issues and have a therapy plan made to meet your personal needs. In additional to personalised one to one therapy sessions I also teach Reiki Healing and Hypnotherapy. New for 2024 I will be offering some group Hypnotherapy sessions too! So to find out more visit or get in touch Lisa Pryce-Jones Hypnotherapist & Healer www.hypnotherapyandhealingtrainingwales.co.uk lisapryce-jones@outlook.com 07427 451992

Lisa cardiff-times.co.uk 11

In The Words Of by Carl Marsh January 2024 First and foremost, Happy New Year. 2023 was a good year for me; I can only hope and expect 2024 to be better or on par. I won’t complain. I am typing this up [29th December] from my camper van whilst staying overnight a few miles from Mont St Michel, France. I’ve already visited Omaha Beach and the American cemetery there. Tomorrow, I don’t know where I’ll be; it could be Le Mans, but I know that I’m off to Disneyland Paris for New Year’s Eve. I know the fireworks will be something else! While planning many things for my trip to France, I purchased a book from Amazon called ‘The Best Aires in France’. More on this shortly. Another book I have made the most of is ‘France’, which was kindly sent to me by those quality people at The Lonely Planet. So, rather self-indulgently, I review both books. I hope you don’t mind.

France - Lonely Planet (£17.99) If ever a title depicts what a book is about, then this is it! Aside from some places I planned to visit, I had days spare with no location/itinerary planned. I knew this book would help. And it did. It breaks down each place into sections of ‘Sights’, ‘Activities, Courses & Tours’, ‘Sleeping’, ‘Eating’, ‘Drinking’ and ‘Shopping’. All self-explanatory. Not all locations will have each section because they do not offer them all, but if they do, they’re in the book. In short, this book covers France and has over 1,000 pages.

TV REVIEW

Reacher (Season 2) - Prime Video I loved the first series. This new one has Jack in a different location than the first, loosely based on another ‘Jack Reacher’ novel by Lee Child. I found the first series to be a breath of fresh air. This new one has the same flow, but I wanted more. It’s rewarding screen time, and I’m still a huge fan. I felt too many new characters were taking centre stage over the namesake, which is undoubtedly what the series and books are On the remaining four pages are a few interviews that won’t about. ruffle as many feathers like what happened in December: X [Twitter] was how I found out! Free speech is very much alive, and we need more of it. I’ll leave it there. On the remaining four pages are interviews with famous people that I hope you will know one or more of.

CONCERT REVIEW

DMAS - Great Hall, Cardiff - December 2023 For me, these are Australia’s best band, by far, at the moment. I’ve been a fan for years, and it was a gig I wanted to attend for ages, as the last time I got ill, I had to postpone. How this band isn’t played day in/out on mainstream radio stations is beyond crazy. In short, listen to their music and see them live. Thank me later.

CONCERT REVIEW BOOK REVIEW

Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds - Utilita Arena, Cardiff - December 2023 The big man returns for what seems like a yearly occurrence now! I don’t have much space left on this page, but here goes… Noel started with his current songs, went back in time through High Flying Birds material, and then capped the night off by doing loads of Oasis tracks. What gig. What a man. Until next year, is it, Noel?

The Best Aires in France by Alan Russell (£varies) Perhaps a tad niche this, and as I mentioned, rather a bit indulgent of me, but this book has got me out of a few potential nightmares, so do forgive me. If, like me, quite recently, you’re thinking: what are these Aires? Think about parking for camper vans and the like, where you can - not always - get Wi-Fi, toilets, showers, electricity, waste and water disposal, amenities to buy and safe parking. You can find some that are free, but you won’t get anything for nothing that usually would carry a cost to the consumer. I had Enjoy January! some issues with my heating system, so this book helped me locate an Aires where I can get a shower, Wi-Fi and the Carl Marsh like. A godsend! If you are considering taking a motor home, Twitter - @InTheWordsOf_CM caravan, etc, to France, this book is necessary. I paid for this YouTube - InTheWordsOf book. And I am glad I did! You can get a copy from Amazon or Alan’s website: www.motorhomingfrance.co.uk

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Interview with Will Young

Words by Carl Marsh which is fantastic. The great thing about this petition is that it shows the government of the day how passionate people are about it. And that’s why I’ve launched it. It also gives me a chance to raise awareness of the issue that up to 2,000 dogs are tested on in this country, and the broader issue of animal testing and the need for sort of, you know, diversion of funds towards the new science, which is so much better. Carl Marsh This new science, I think it’s called NAM’s [non-animal methods], has been around for three decades or so! What answers are you getting as to why the ban on animal testing should be here already?

Will Young I think it’s a number of things; probably, in a large part, it’s bureaucracy, if I’m honest. It takes a change to how things are set up, for example, at university labs. I think Bristol is about to build a more significant sort of lab where they’ll be testing on animals. And it’s tied into funding. So when they put in their pitches, they’re more likely to get funding if they do it on animals. It’s the same WILL YOUNG: “The new science is with other laboratories. And that’s tied into the law, so the more likely to save humanity than test- law needs to change. And there needs to be education because then you have to educate younger students ing on a dog or small monkey.” coming through who will be doing scientific tests or tests on household products or foodstuffs, you know, to use Hailing from one of those singing shows that non-animal methods. So it’s bureaucracy and the law, and then probably have a government that hasn’t got aired on a Saturday night on ITV or BBC; a great record on animal rights, or human rights, so it’s Will Young has always been, for me, the most talented and worthwhile contestant on no surprise, you know, that this government don’t care. I think that’s pretty obvious to anyone. Be it homeless any of them. He’s still going strong with his people or whatever.

music and occasional acting, too, but he’s created a petition: ‘Ban the use of dogs for What’s been interesting and exciting about all this is re-educating people about what’s happening. 14 million testing and research purposes in the UK’. Please search for it on the UK Government of us are dog owners. I think 26 million have pets. So, it’s important to let people know so they can make the & Parliament website if you would like to decisions. It’s interesting as it’s somewhat described as sign it. I have a Zoom video with Will, and we a controversial topic. I don’t know if it is a controversial don’t waste any time discussing the above. topic, but some people get pretty het up about it and Carl Marsh I know you were on a panel at the Labour Party Conference recently with Animal Aid. And, the talk of the town is that Labour will be a dead cert at the next Election. With your petition, what feedback did you get from any Labour MPs?

say, “Well, we have to do this to save humanity!” Yet, the new science is more likely to save humanity than testing on a dog or small monkey - which we still do tests on thinking that will yield the same results. It’s just weird. The petition is called ‘Ban the use of dogs for testing and research purposes in the UK’ and is on the Government & Parliament website. Or type into a search engine to find it.

Will Young Yeah, that’s a very good question. I’ve got a meeting with the Shadow Defra minister after lunchtime today. Image courtesy of: Michael Wharley So, I’ve got to go up to London and will be talking with one of the heads of policy, so they’re very engaged in it,

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Interview with Guz Khan

Words by Carl Marsh

GUZ KHAN: “I still find it surreal, but never underplay how we must have done something right.” liked it. I still find it surreal, but I never underplay how ‘Man Like ‘ was one of British TV’s best we must have done something right for it to make that comedy-dramas of the last ten years. impression. Created by Guz Khan - who also stars as Mobeen - and Andy Milligan, this has Carl Marsh opened up many acting roles for Guz Yeah, you certainly have. So, with the tour, what is as well as going on national tours as a the theme? If there is one besides being as funny as comedian. A long shot from being a teacher expected, is it anything like your last? less than ten years ago in Coventry although he still lives there! I chat with Guz Guz Khan about his new tour coming to Cardiff in For sure! I think the thing that I’ve discovered with January.

standup is that as I am so busy, I am still trying to figure out what the audience would like to see and Carl Marsh what they want to see me do. And with me, people are I wanted to mention how much I loved Man Like Mobeen and how it touched on authentic and serious still so interested in my life in Coventry now; what it was like previously, you know? Giving them an insight topics whilst also being one of the funniest shows into what it was like growing up is always a significant I’ve seen in years. part of the tour, but also, something that I massively enjoy is interacting with the crowd. On any given night, Guz Khan Thank you, bro. I think the biggest thing for me when somebody new turns up; something crazy is going on. I set out on this journey - and I’ve said it many times And for me, that crowd work is something that’s very - is that it was never a dream of mine to be an actual important. Like, I love to see and be part of it. And yeah, I think that’s something that people will come comedian. I would always make people laugh my away from the gigs and say, “Oh, Guz said that. And entire life, from when at school to the areas I grew up in. So all that bit felt natural, but I suppose when they said that!”. I love to hear it. I love to see it. I love to experience it. It’s very, very important. I look back on it now, the fact that this story [Man Like Mobeen] was essentially about communities that hadn’t been showcased properly on TV. That’s Guz Khan will perform at the New Theatre, Cardiff, my biggest win because I can go to Manchester, Bradford, or somewhere in Wales, which is relatively on Friday, 12th January. obscure. People have seen the show and actually 14 CARDIFF TIMES

Interview with Rick Witter (Shed Seven)

Words by Carl Marsh

RICK WITTER: “We’ve been here so long that we feel there’s less need to prove ourselves.”

2024 will mark the 30th anniversary of Shed Seven’s debut album’ Change Giver’, but they are not a band to dwell on past offerings as released this month is album number six, ‘A Matter of Time’. Formed in 1990, they hugely contributed to that decade’s Britpop scene, having had fifteen Top 40 singles. I chatted with lead singer Rick Witter about the new album. Carl Marsh With your new album out in January, are there any comparisons from the last album [Instant Pleasures] that came out in 2017, or have you gone in a completely different direction, as six years is a long time? Rick Witter Looking back now, I think this coming album is the logical next step up the ladder for us in the sense that it sounds as fresh as ‘Instant Pleasures’, but it just seems a bit more grown up. It’s like it’s grown up brother. So, it’s difficult to explain that without people hearing it. But I think that the songwriting standard has improved ever so slightly. I think the shackles are off in the respect that we’ve been here so long that we feel there’s less need to prove ourselves, if you know what I mean. So, the actual songwriting side of it just naturally happened. And I think you can hear that in the songs. It sounds like a classic album, which we’re proud of because you don’t get many classic albums anymore. You don’t get the thought and the care that goes into creating an album’s worth of material. You know, even down to deciding the tracklisting and thinking about if it

comes out on vinyl, what’s going to end the A-side and what’s going to start the B-side. It’s all very important to us. We’ve put a lot of groundwork into it. And we hope that people like what they hear. I’m convinced that people who like Shed Seven are gonna love it. But I honestly think that some people who perhaps don’t like the cut of my jib might have to roll their hands up and go: “Yes. OK, they’ve done good here”. And not that it really matters. It’s music. You know, plenty of other things are happening. Carl Marsh I’ve listened to the album, and two tracks I like are ‘Kissing California’ and ‘FKH’. And these are fresh and current songs; honestly, the whole album is. I know they are Shed Seven songs, but they are not like a cut-and-paste of those early days’ sounds, if that makes sense? Rick Witter It does. And I think we’d had much of that when we released’ Instant Pleasures’. People said they were a bit concerned when they heard that we’re returning with new material after 16 years. They were worried that we would just try and be trading off past glories in that respect and trying to sound ‘90s. But, like you’ve just said, ‘Instant Pleasures’ sounded very much like us, but just fresh and current, and I think this album is that again, but for 2024 when it comes out. So weirdly enough, when we’re writing these new songs, we’re not thinking about that; we’re not considering, “Should we sound fresh?”. It’s just naturally what we’re doing. So that also helps to sell the album in the sense that I think people will really enjoy it. ‘A Matter of Time’ by Shed Seven is available to purchase, stream and download now.

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Interview with Yxngxr1

Words by Carl Marsh

YXNGXR1: “If it sounds like something, then it is “Something!” With a name like Yxngxr1, it’s obviously just a stage name, yet it’s one you won’t want to forget. Timothy Francis Lee is Cardiff-born and bred, Penarth, to be exact. Now residing in London, he’s a Soundcloud sensation, a DIY artist with a fan base worldwide for the Americana-tinged indie pop music he’s created in his bedroom. Now touring Europe and the UK as the norm, his latest album, ‘Front Porch’ came out in October. He’s my top tip for massive success in 2024. One to watch! Carl Marsh I know what a DIY artist is, but the majority reading this won’t. How can you explain it, as you will do a better job than me? Yxngxr1 It kind of means that we do everything by ourselves in our own room. It’s really weird because every song made so far has been made over FaceTime or something. And I haven’t made - or released - any songs in a studio. It’s all been friends of friends who I’ve been on FaceTime with saying stuff like, “Oh, can you make a song that sounds like this? Can you use these chords, or can you do this? And if you do that, we’ll come sit there”. And then they’ll send the beat over, and then I’ll put some vocals on it, send the vocals back, and then

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we’d have this fully formed song, just from our bedrooms, having not had any personal contact with each other. It’s like bedroom pop instead of renting out a studio for two weeks. It was more a case of let’s see if we can do it. If it sounds like something, then it is “Something!” Carl Marsh But it’s worked. It shows your tenacity because most people either wouldn’t know how to start or wouldn’t even try to branch out by meeting different people online, which I presume you did during those COVID times. Yxngxr1 Yeah, essentially, but it was weird because it even started before the COVID time, but during COVID-19, it really did blow up in terms of the number of people producing and making music and stuff. While working in Footlocker, I got a random message from this kid who said, “Oh, I really like your music. I have some beats. Can I send it to you?” And as I was still working my regular job, I just told him to send over whatever. Then there was another guy - who now makes music - and we’d spend so many hours a day on FaceTime just staying in our own rooms, and I’d be like, “Oh, have you heard this song? We should make something that sounds like this.” And then it would sound nothing like it! ‘Front Porch’ by Yxngxr1 is available now. Please listen to it as soon as you can. Yxngxr1 will also be coming back to Wales in 2024 on tour. I cannot wait!

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A GUIDE FOR CATLOVERS

by Sara John

TEACH YOURSELF: The “essentials” of living peacefully and safely with cats. From the time that Dick Whittington was Lord Mayor of London it has been agreed that there has been a need for a set of guidelines to establish a modus operandi for cats and humans to share a common living space. The rules of engagement so to speak. In order to assist those already living with cats, to help novices and to encourage those who have not yet plucked up courage to enter the fray and ensure harmonious relationships between the two species, here are some helpful chapters of advice covering various aspects of the dilemma.

1. GUIDELINES The following observations will be more than familiar to cat guardians, useful to people about to share their home with cats for the first time and, I hope of comfort and joy to cat plus persons’ families who may find that cats can be confusing and often outsmart them. At times they can be difficult to comprehend. a)If your cat is fast asleep on your bed be aware that you have to accept that you are going to be sleeping on the floor. b)Cats are very particular with whom they spend their time. Never approach a cat with a view to picking up, kissing and cuddling, telling them stories, or completely out of the question even in the land of song, (even if your uncle Idwal sings with the Pendyrus) never attempt to sing them lullabies to help them get off to sleep.

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c)Remember cats do not “fetch” ever! You are confusing them with dogs who are always keen to do good deeds and curry favour. d)When you live with cats you must accept that the head of the household, the one with responsibility for doors being locked at night, lights being switched off when not in use, the heating clock being off at night and fridge doors being properly closed, along with the removal of any half empty packets of cat foods, is no other than the one in the household with the tail. e)The word “walkies” means nothing to a cat. Except perhaps for a snooty look which translates as , “at your age you are old enough and educated enough to say “would you care to for a walk?” With dogs the word can frequently cause loud barking and growling, with adults shouting advice to “Be patient, I am looking for my other keys/specs, other glove/mints/phone/ torch” and so on. All this talk means nothing to cats as they go on walks by themselves. Cats frequently discuss why dogs have to be ‘taken’ on walks as they have to be guided and brought back. They seem to be missing the magical homing device that cats are born with. f)If you share your home with felines then be prepared to maintain your cushions, curtains, rugs, especially the ones with a fringed edging, and sofas to a high standard. Remember at all times these items are provided primarily as cats’ playthings. Cardboard boxes and today’s newspaper may also be included as required.

g)As a way, perhaps, of being fed, loved, praised and generally shown off especially to visitors from away, cats may be prepared to share some of their knowledge with the rest of the family. For instance, if you have a resident Pussycat, he or she is able forecast the weather with great accuracy. If the weather outside is very cold Pussycat will be stretched out in front of the fire, with NO intention of moving. If it is going to rain, she will have rushed indoors to avoid the embarrassment of getting wet! If it is going to snow, she will be in your bed, under the bedclothes, close to the hot water bottle you previously prepared. h)Remember at all times the one with the tail appoints itself Head of the Household from the start. i)Cats dislike most television programmes unless they are wildlife films about pretty birds or include great crowds of fish, there for the taking. Cats prefer peace and quiet best and will seek it all over the house, at the same time investigating cupboards, wardrobes, spare rooms and secret places which are warm, quiet, and private. j)Cats are not keen on the Wireless. Listening to anything coming over the airways the cats’ favourite is always from the Slightest Sounds Co. Ltd. This channel broadcasts no football, no brass bands, no politics and no quiz programmes. What do they broadcast you may ask? Mostly records of birdsong, lions purring, and David Attenborough saying “Goodnight to animals everywhere”. k)When puss passes over to cat Paradise, she or he will wish to be buried in their favourite spot probably under the hydrangeas, where the garden is dark and private. Do NOT for one moment consider phoning for a taxidermist.

Early influences are Cat mother, other cats in the household, the cat next door and the dog next door. Kittens need to learn fairly quickly and, for the most part do: How to be secretive about “going to the toilet. How to eat NOW. If you start messing about and wondering off the other furry animals will finish off your cat foods very quickly. Territory outside in the garden has probably already been allocated. Watch any other and neighbouring cats closely and follow their lead. Never push your luck. As a kitten (and as smart as paint of course) your aims are to be loved, played with, looked after, fed and have a safe warm place to sleep. Learn to use the cat flaps, they have been put there for your convenience. You may become attached to an older cat who will help you with learning, loving, living and just being lovely all over. A little word of warning, pwsscat bach. If your carrying basket and travel blankets have been brought out of the dark cupboard under the stairs, a decision and an appointment with a very special doctor has been confirmed, it is for your own benefit, freedom and comfort. At the vet’s they know what they are doing. Promise! You will be asleep and it is all over in no time. Okay you will wake up a slightly incomplete cat but as you grow up and start getting bothered by older cats who may then plan on having their way with you, you will be free of harassment. You will be your own cat. Some cats wish to show how much their carers are appreciated. Often Miss Cat will bring a very dead small creature as a gift to the lady who does all the catering in the household. What the cats fail to understand is that this good and thoughtful deed is little understood by the selected recipient. Who overreacts! Explaining that it is best to stand on a chair and shout or scream. What if the little corpse comes back to life and runs up her leg!!! Meantime other household members are preparing for a funeral. Rubber gloves, spades, shovels, dry leaves, plastic bags, all are required and made use of. Sometimes a full burial service for all faiths present will be held in the shrubbery, to lay the little creature to rest. There may be a hymn, perhaps with the first line, “Who wouldst true valour see, let him come hither”. As your new feline addition grows up he or she may (I write advisedly) consider a career. These days there are many opportunities for cats. Consider the following:

2. RAISING KITTENS Have you ever wondered, how does a kitten know HOW TO BECOME A CAT BUT, NOT TOO QUICKLY?

a)Modelling for advertising and photography especially calendars. b)The retail industry. Mostly security roles regarding safeguarding premises from very small animals who have moved in and require to be moved out. At night.

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c)Office cats, front office of course. Excellent for sociable cats who can cope with the general public. Very welcome in Hotels, Police stations and Post Offices. d)As a cat companion for someone who is housebound.

3. THE NAMING OF CATS Regarding the naming of cats I am tempted to write, “see next book” There are so many names, I will suggest a selection to start you off and get you going.

e)Rodent Controllers, domestic, commercial or industrial. Speaks for itself.

First Rule of naming cats:

An excellent route for ambitious and super confident cats. Torches and batteries usually supplied free. Not sure about the uniform.

Tiddles (sounds like a prewar board game)

f)Some cats choose to go to sea with the merchant Marine. Adventures and travel guaranteed. g)Most libraries, cathedrals, in some cases temples, all have a feline presence, not necessarily up front. (my son recently returned from a visit to Wells Cathedral where he was introduced to Basil, the Cathedral Cat who spends a lot of his time on the front desk, sitting comfortably on a carefully folded West Country blanket, welcoming visitors. A word to the wise on how to use the above suggestions wisely. Never, never ask a cat any questions as they hate to be interrogated. You will get NO answer even if cat knows the answer full well. What you will get as a response is a look of amazement and shock.

Avoid over popular cats names from the past.

Topsy (no longer acceptable) Aunty Edith (cats may refuse to come when called.) Persephone (not all cats can spell that well, not all of them did Latin at school anyway, some chose Art instead.) These days there are lots to choose from. But you will have to take this task very seriously if your relationship with the feline is to succeed. The examples below are included within simple categories. a)Description of fur colour: Blackie, Black Magic, Blackpws, Mephistockolees (one of many spellings), Ginger biscuit, snowball. Mynydd Du. b)Hometown names: Pandy, Ponty, Pontius Pirate, c)Physical descriptions: Fluffiboots, Black Bear the third. Gingerpoo, d)Actors: Clark, Donald, Jeff, Eric, Yves, Hector, Cecil, Julian, Klaus. e)Actresses: Marilyn, Priscilla, Pussy - willow, Helena, Miriam, Gloria, Tallulah, Delphine. f)Biblical: Moses, Elijah, Simon, Alexander, Constantine. g)Saints: Francis, Isabelle, Thomas, Stephen, Anne, David. h)Welsh Names: David (Dai), Trevor, Huw, Hywel, Ivor, Hefina, Rhiannon, Angharad, Myfanwy. i) Scots Names: James, Charles, Duncan, Hamish, Hector, Haggis Isobel, Margaret, Rose Marie, Ishbel j) Let the cat decide:

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Select ten or so and try them out on Pws. Will the ‘words’ work for calling pwscat in on dark winter nights?

4. WORDS FROM THE WISE What others have said about felines. “What greater gift than the love of a cat” Charles Dickens “In nine lifetimes, you will never know as much about your cat as your cat knows about you” Michel de Montaigne “Thousands of years ago Cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this” Unknown” “A cat has their own opinion of human beings. They do not say much, but you can tell enough to make you anxious not to hear the whole of it” Jerome K. Jerome “The real objection to the great majority of cats is their insufferable air of superiority” P. G. Woodhouse

5. GOOD DEEDS INDEED Tiger Lily our dear sweet Lilac Burmese noticed that the prime winter quarters sleeping places right in front of the Aga had been given over to a cardboard box, with a Welsh blanket and ‘someone’ cat-sized but made of white curly wool, not sleek well washed fur, was fast asleep inside. Tiger Lily sniffed the ‘intruder’ and decided to take care of her. She jumped in the box and snuggled up to the little lamb (born the day before but not thriving or feeding) and kept her comforted and cosy. Within a day or two of being “cwtched” back to health by the cat, little lamb was back with her mother and boy twin. And thriving.

Our window cleaner reported that he had visited the day before an elderly lady, living out in the countryside, who had recently been widowed. She had and adored a very large black cat who had always been very independent, spending a lot of his time out of doors going about his own serious and secret business. How ever since the lady’s husband’s funeral Big Black cat had returned to the back door every afternoon about four o’clock with a large, country sized very dead rabbit in its mouth. The late rabbit was skinned and cleaned and prepared for supper. They had half each, the lady explained,

6. TAILPIECE Reading through the above I realise that I need to mention a few more points:Decide how many cats would be perfect, if it is more than two then try to select kittens from the same family who have already grown and played together. Older serious cats are not always best pleased to be introduced to Kitten strangers whom they do not ‘know’. Take extra care when moving house. Cats have been recorded as traveling long distances over many months to return to the home they were used too. Always leave a forwarding address with your previous neighbours. Ensure that a new cat, kitten or older rescue cat is fussed over and helped to socialise with the existing family cat or cats. Finally, I have not listed the immense benefits of living with cats as these should be obvious but maybe next time. All I can say now is. “ENJOY THEIR COMPANY!!!”

as the local shop, a general store, did not stock pot ready ex-rabbits.

cardiff-times.co.uk 21

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19/12/2023 20:44

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THE NEW YEAR BOXING QUIZ

by Ralph Oates

A series of 25 questions on the sport of boxing to start your New Year off with a knockout.

result?

1. Percy Jones became the first Welsh world boxing champion when on the 26 January 1914 he outpointed holder Bill Ladbury over 20 rounds to capture the IBU version of the world flyweight title. In the same contest he also won both the British and European titles. Where in Wales was Jones born?

5. Brian Curvis met opponent Jack Burley on the 26 August 1959 in a contest scheduled for eight rounds. Curvis won when he knocked out Burley in which round?

(a) Cardiff (b) Swansea (c) Porth 2. During his professional boxing career Freddie Welsh held a world title in which weight division?

(a) Points win for Lane (b) a draw (c) Points win for Farr

(a) 1 (b) 2 (c) 3 6. Which title did heavyweight Dick Richardson formerly hold in the professional ranks? (a) British (b) Commonwealth (c) European

(a) Featherweight (b) Lightweight (c) Welterweight

7. In which country did Howard Winstone not box during his professional career?

3. What was the nickname of Freddie Welsh?

(a) Mexico (b) America (c) Italy

(a) The Welsh Wizard (b) The Welsh Marvel (c) The Welsh Puncher

8. In which weight division did Kelvin Smart win a professional boxing title?

4. On the 9 September 1927 Tommy Farr met opponent Evan Lane in a contest which went the full distance of six rounds. What was the

(a) Flyweight (b) Bantamweight (c) Featherweight

26 CARDIFF TIMES

9. On the 1 October 1993 defending WBC world heavyweight champion Lennox Lewis stopped his challenger Frank Bruno in round 7 of 12 to retain his title. Where in Wales was the venue for this bout? (a) Merthyr Leisure Centre (b) National Stadium Cardiff (c) Ice Arena, Cardiff 10. Liam Williams had his first professional contest on the 19 November 2011 when he outpointed Ryan Clark over how many rounds? (a) 4 (b) 6 (c) 8 11. What is Liam Williams nickname? (a) The Tank (b) The Machine (c) The Ironman 12. On the 17 March 2012 Kerry Hope won the European middleweight title when he outpointed Grzegorz Proksa over 12 rounds. Where in Wales was Hope born? (a) Swansea (b) Cardiff (b) Merthyr Tydfil (c) Caerphilly 13. Gavin Gwynne won the vacant Welsh Area lightweight title on the 15 December 2017 when he defeated opponent Henry James by which method? (a) 4 round stoppage (b) 6 round knockout (c) 10 round points decision 14. Lloyd Germain won the vacant Welsh Area welterweight title on the 28 May 2022 when he defeated opponent Jake Tinklin by which method?

he defeated reigning champion Shavkatdzhon Rakhimov by which method? (a) 2 round stoppage (b) 5 round knockout (c) 12 round points decision 18. At this stage of his career Joe Cordina was undefeated in how many professional contests? (a) 15 (b) 16 (c) 17 19. Jay Harris won the British flyweight title on the 5 May 2023 when he stopped holder Tommy Frank in which round? (a) 9 (b) 10 (c) 11. 20. Where in Wales was Jay Harris born? (a) Llanelli (b) Cardiff (c) Swansea 21. On the 6 May 2023 Lauren Price won the vacant women’s British welterweight crown when she defeated opponent Kirstie Bavington by which method? (a) 4 round stoppage (b) 6 round disqualification (c) 10 round points decision. 22. At this stage of her career Lauren Price was now undefeated in how many professional bouts? (a) 4 (b) 5 (c) 6 23. Which former boxer was not born in Wales? (a) Howard Winstone (b) Johnny Owen (c) Ken Buchanan

(a) 6 round stoppage (b) 8 round knockout (c) 10 round points decision

24. In which capacity is Chris Jones involved with boxing?

15. Who was the previous holder prior to Lloyd Germain of the Welsh Area title?

(a) Referee (b) Manager (c) Promoter

(a) Tony Dixon (b) Lewis Rees (c) Tony Doherty 16. Sean McGoldrick won the vacant British & Commonwealth bantamweight titles on the 10 February 2023 when he outpointed opponent Scott Allan over 12 rounds. Where in Wales did this contest take place? (a) Double Diamond Club, Caerphilly (b) Vale Sports Arena, Cardiff, (c) Merthyr Leisure Centre.

25. Which fighter boxes in the southpaw stance? (a) Liam Williams (b) Lauren Price (c) Gavin Gwynne Image courtesy of Les Clark.

*Turn to page 42 for answers*

17. On the 22 April 2023 Joe Cordina regained his IBF world super-featherweight title when cardiff-times.co.uk 27

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