Inkquests: A good word for?

by Sara John

Big thick dictionaries, style guides, the Thesaurus, Brewer’s Phrase and Fable, reverse dictionaries, and other helpful guides for writers are very useful. However in some situations there is, as yet, no one useful word for the situation you are trying to describe. In that case why not make up a new word? You, of course, may well come up with one word that is much better than the ones I hesitantly offer here;

• Waking up in the morning thinking it is Monday and it is actually Sunday.

A sunimony moment

• You meet someone who seems to be unpleasant and rather creepy and becomes even more so the longer you spend with them.

A chillshiverer

• The atmosphere or ambience on first entering someone else’s house, in particular when you are a child.

Gorrowgonow

• The whiff of early Autumn on a late August morning with just a touch of chill in the air.

Octonov

• The scent of Spring late on in February in early morning in the park or the garden.

Marmaylade

• Jotting down another brilliant idea in the middle of the night which proves quite useless in the cold light of morning.

Inkwaste

• One of those days, frequently a Friday when everything that can go wrong does go wrong, you break a shoelace, you miss the bus, you miss the train, car won’t start, cannot find your keys/specs/watch/file/ purse/cat.

A malfri

• You have a garment bought over two years ago that you paid too much for and have never worn. You try it on and it looks ill-fitting, strange colour, and overall much worse than when purchased.

Culpashop

• A relative’s relative who is your partner’s second cousin, twice removed, who always seeks you out at events. You are far from keen on this person but you are expected to “relate” and “be nice”, even though you explain that he is -

Nokin

• Not being able to remember the name of the person you’ve bumped into, but you know the face, who has just greeted you warmly.

Recallapse

• Your printer running out of black ink on a Sunday evening about six thirty before a Bank Holiday Monday and a pressing deadline.

S-B-S A self-blame situation

• Being early for once in your life and having a whole half hour to yourself.

A thirty min-win

• Going to an all morning meeting away from your usual place of business but on route getting a message to say it is cancelled. You have ‘won’ half a day and possibly an ‘alibi’ as well!

Missedchieftime

• The feelings engendered when a very nice but seriously boring person starts telling a long tedious story you have heard before, many times. Nil-scheherazade (i.e. not a bit like listening to one of Scheherazade’s tales.)

• A word for assessing someone you have just met, perhaps sitting next to you on an aeroplane.

Checkwait

• A word for jobs you keep on not doing for so long that it does not matter anymore, e.g. chemistry homework still in your school bag now that you have left school and are married with two children. Liarjob (after Billy Liar and the calendars)

These may make you smile but you will get more pleasure by thinking of situations which perplex you on occasions and then making up your own word to describe that feeling.

The Sweet Smell of Welshcakes and other Tantalising Tales from Wales

by Sara John

A fascinating and hugely entertaining collection of original stories covering a wide range of topics by Sara John, all recounted in an exciting and tantalising manner. This eclectic host of exhilarating tales originate in the author’s childhood in South Wales during the reign of King Coal, leading to real life adventures around the world and fi nally exploring the trials and tribulations of a life in the country. All enlivened by sublime fl ights of imagination and humour.

Available from independent bookshops. Including Shan Roberts of Y Felin, Unit 3 Cadas House, 54-36 Merthyr Road, Whitchurch, Cardi . Call in person or by post phone: 02920 692999 email: shan@siopyfelin.co.uk Priced £8.99 (plus postage)

“Interesting, informative and clothed in humour.” D.C. “Like sitting with my best friend.” S.P. “What an imagination in so many areas of life - a joyous read.” M.B. “Packed with Wisdom, Nostalgia and Hilarity. It’s like opening a box of your favourite chocolates; Full of surprises, you’ll want to savour each one and when it’s complete, you’ll want to feast on more!” L.D.