Suicide prevention

Understanding suicidal feelings

Suicidal feelings can affect anyone at any time. Feeling suicidal is not a character defect and it doesn’t mean that you are crazy, weak or flawed. It only means that you have more pain than you can cope with right now.

Samaritans tell us that most people who feel suicidal do not actually want to die; they do not want to live the life they have. That is why it’s so important to seek help and talk through your options. With time and support, you can overcome your problems and the pain and suicidal feelings will pass.

Getting help if you are feeling suicidal

If you’re feeling suicidal at this moment, please follow these five immediate steps:

1. Promise not to do anything right now – even though you’re in a lot of pain, give yourself some distance between suicidal thoughts and suicidal action. Make a promise to yourself: ‘I will wait 24 hours and won’t do anything drastic during that time.’ Or wait a week. There is no deadline, no one’s pushing you to act on these thoughts immediately.

2. Avoid drugs and alcohol – suicidal thoughts can become even stronger after taking drugs or alcohol. It’s important to avoid non-prescription drugs or alcohol when you feel hopeless or suicidal.

3. Make your home safe – remove things you could use to hurt yourself, such as pills, knives or razors.

If you are unable to do so, go to a place where you can feel safe. If you are thinking of taking an overdose, give your medicines to someone who can return them only when you need them.

4. Don’t keep these suicidal feelings to yourself – many of us have found that the first step to coping with suicidal thoughts and feelings is to share them with someone we trust. It may be a family member, friend, therapist, member of the clergy, or your GP. Find someone you trust and let them know how bad things are. Don’t let fear, shame, or embarrassment prevent you from seeking help.

5. Take hope – people do get through this. Even people who feel as badly as you are feeling now manage to survive these feelings. Take hope in this. There is a very good chance that you are going to live through these feelings, no matter how much hopelessness or isolation you are currently experiencing. Just give yourself the time needed and don’t try to go it alone.

Reach out for help. Helplines you can call are as follows.

CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably)

Runs a confidential helpline as well as web chat support. Helpline: 0800 585858 (Monday to Sunday, 5.00pm to 12.00am). Web: www.thecalmzone.net

Papyrus

Runs a helpline for children and young people under 35. Tel: 0800 068 4141 (Monday to Sunday, 9.00am to 12.00am). Text: 07860 039967 Email: pat@papyrus-uk.org Web: www.papyrus-uk.org

Samaritans

24-hour confidential emotional support to anyone who needs it. Tel: 116 123 • Email: jo@samaritans.org

Shout

Crisis text support if you need immediate assistance. • Text: ‘SHOUT’ to 85258 Find online information and support as follows.

Getselfhelp has useful distraction techniques and coping strategies. Web: www.getselfhelp.co.uk/suicidal.htm

Mind has advice to help you plan for a mental health crisis. Web: www.mind.org.uk (search ‘planning for a crisis’).

Staying Safe has information and videos to help you make a safety plan. Web: https://stayingsafe.net

How can I know if someone else might be feeling suicidal?

Everyone is different, but here are some general signs that may suggest a person needs help. For some people, several of these signs might apply – for others just one or two, or none: • Feeling restless and agitated. • Feeling angry and aggressive. • Feeling tearful. • Being tired or lacking in energy. • Not wanting to talk to or be with people. • Not wanting to do things they usually enjoy. • Using alcohol or drugs to cope with feelings. • Finding it hard to cope with everyday things. • Not replying to messages or being distant. • Talking about feeling hopeless, helpless or worthless.

• Talking about feeling trapped by life circumstances they can’t see a way out of or feeling unable to escape their thoughts. • A change in routine, such as sleeping or eating more or less than normal.

• Engaging in risk-taking behaviour, like gambling or violence.

• Self-harming.

Again, everyone is different, but here are some common situations that may lead to someone having suicidal thoughts:

• Loss, including loss of a friend or a family member through bereavement. • Relationship and family problems.

• Housing problems.

• Financial worries.

• Job-related stress.

• College or study-related pressures.

• Bullying, abuse or neglect.

• Loneliness and isolation.

• Challenging current events.

• Depression.

• Painful and/or disabling physical illness.

• Heavy use of or dependency on alcohol or other drugs.

How can I help someone who is feeling suicidal?

We all have a role to play in suicide prevention. About 70% of people who commit suicide give some sort of verbal or nonverbal clue about their intention to end their life.

Things you can do:

• Understand the facts around suicide and suicidal thoughts – look out for possible signs.

• Find out how you can have a conversation with and support someone. Samaritans (www.samaritans.org – search ‘myths about suicide’) and Rethink Mental Illness (www.rethink.org – search ‘how to support someone’) provide helpful guidance.

• Build your confidence by doing some online suicide awareness training (contact details on page 122).

Organisations offering helplines are listed on page 120. If the person needs urgent help:

• Call an ambulance on 999 or help them to get to the nearest A&E department.

• Stay with them and continue to talk to them if you can.

• Dial 111. This is a free service and is open 24/7.

• Contact their GP and ask for an emergency appointment.

Online training

Zero Suicide Alliance

Offers free online training to help understand the signs to look out for and the skills required to approach someone who is struggling with suicidal thoughts. Web: www.zerosuicidealliance.com/training

If you are considering a care home with nursing, see the checklist on page 105. See page 108 for more information on paying for care homes in Hampshire.

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