December 1, 1994, carnegie newsletter by Carnegie Newsletter

FREE - donations acce~ted.

401 Main St.. Vancower. V6A 2T7 (604)685-2289

To the Carnegie Community Association,

I am deeply touched that the Carnegie Association has paid tribute to my son Ross. Few people at Carnegie have actually met him, although he has come by a couple of times. He was a very gentle young man and I an sure he would have felt honoured by your regard. I would like to tell you a little about him. At fifteen Ross helped me remove the very large, heavy pieces of concrete from the Carnegie plot at the Strathcona Community Gardens on a weekend. He didn't care if he was seen - with his mother in gum boots with garden tools. Ross worked with his Uncle at the BBQ chicken stand at the PNE every summer and had started the Culinary Arts Program at VCC. He was accomplished at martial arts and was a strong long-distance runner. This summer, after graduating from Burnaby North

High School with honours, he went to Estonia with his granny, and discovered some of his roots. Ross was a member of the VancouverEsto folk dance troupe and performed in Estonia. As a son, Ross never flinched from helping his Mom - painting, gardening, cooking, lifting heavy stuff for me or carrying my shopping. He also really talked to me, maybe too much sometimes. I miss him very much and I thank you for your kindness. He is a good son. I have been told that he did not die -- he was taken. He was eighteen. Yours truly, KT P.S.: Ross' memorial site has been secured at the southern-most end of the Asian Garden in a little quiet meadow beside a brook. The garden there is still under development, which is suitable for a young man.

Join us on Tues. Dec. 6 To commemorate the Dec. 6 1989 Montreal massacre of 14 women, Carnegie Centre will have a tribute to our Downtown Eastside sisters who have died. Please bring photos of friends and relatives who are no longer with us, acoustic instruments, your thoughts and feelings.

Tues. Dec. 6 from 2:00 to 4:30 Carnegie's non-smoking lounge

Calendar of Events Dec. 1 - World AIDS Day with videos, info tables from 4-7. Headlines Theatre will present a show from 7-9pm. - Board meeting in Art Gallery Dec. 7 - Decorate Carnegie 1pm-5:30 Mike Absolom (harpist) 4:3O-5 :3O Dec. 9 - Vegetarian Feast, 2nd floor, 5:30 Dec. 10 - Volunteer Christmas Party 5.30- 1Opm in the Theatre (Volunteers only 5:30-7; open to all at 7pm) Dec. 14 - Volunteer Dinner 4:30-5:30 Acoustic evening 7- 10 (*More on the Christmas Calendar next issue)

The Fight For The Carnegie Community Centre IWt 2

DERA Strongly Protests A report to the City of Vancouver Finance and Administration Committee on April I, 1974, said that the renovation of the Camegie, declared an historic site under the Archeological and Historic Sites Protection Act of 1972, was unjustified economically. According to the report, it would now cost $81 8,000 to renovate the building while it could be torn down and a new one built for $900,000. The report recommended that plans for renovating the building be abandoned, and that the Fire Wardens, Health Inspectors and Health Office continue to be housed on Abbott Street. It's not surprising that some politicians and administrators would relate to the Carnegie only in terms of dollars & cents. The modern city is a product of the market place mentality, and in the market everything has a commercial value. How do you put a price tag on the spirit of the Carnegie Library, however, or grasp in strictly monetary terms the value of a city whose citizens live in dignity and health, surrounded by the beauty of an architecture that reflects their deepest aspirations? On April 23rd, City Council resolved that tenders be called for the use of Camegie, and on July 2, 1974, a notice appeared in the newspapers offering the historic building for sale or lease by the City of Vancouver. A citizens' group called the Downtown Eastside Residents' Association (DERA) reacted quickly to the City's advertisement. On behalf of DERA, Larry Bantleman wrote to Bill Hartley, Minister of Public Works, on the same day the notice appeared. He said, "We note with a great deal of apprehension

the classified advertisement appearing in this morning's edition of The Province calling for tenders for the sale or lease of the Carnegie Library... "Now, it seems. this historic and architecturally significant building, which has a public history few other buildings in Vancouver can claim, is open to the private developers, and a use that is in all likelihood, contrary to the needs of the residents in this area ... "We strongly protest the action of the City in deciding to put the building up for grabs despite Council's approval in principle (June 5/73) to spend $697,300 in renovation costs. This decision is contrary to public sentiment about the building..." In its letter to Mr. Hartley, DERA enclosed a copy of its press release (July 2/74) to the media which expressed DERA's strong ob-jection to the Carnegie being offered for sale or lease, and suggested uses for the building that would be compatible with its public history. These included selling the building to the Provincial Government so it could be used as a Health and Human Resources Centre; renting the building to the City's Health and Fire Inspectors; using the building as headquarters for the local Community Resource Board, and establishing a branch library at Carnegie "since there isn't a decent one in the area."

d '

1 DERA ended its press release by stating,

"...this Association is determined to prevent the historic building (Carnegie) from being acquired by private ownership, and put to use in a manner not befitting the residents who live in the area... The building has had a public history. It must remain in the public domain as public property. It must be utilized by

These were bold words. What was the Downtown Eastside Residents' Association ( D E W , and who were these residents who spoke on behalf of the Downtown Eastside, generally known by Vancouver's middle class as skid road? By SANDY CAMERON (to be continued)

JUST FOR YOU

**************

YOUR HEARTS ARE LIKE GOLD I'M SURE YOU HAVE BEEN TOLD.HELPING THOSE ONE'S IN NEED, IT MAKES THEM FEEL PLEASED.SOME TAKE LONGER TO TURN AROUND. IT'S HARDER FOR US WHO LIVE DOWNTOWN.THERE ARE A FEW OF US WHO INSIDE ARE SAD, WITH YOUR CARING IT MAKES US FEEL GLAD. THE TEACHING THAT YOU ALWAYS DO IS APPRECIATED FROM ALL OF US THAT'S 100% TRUE.THERE ARE SO MANY DIFFERENT CULTURES THAT WALK THROUGH THE LEARNING CENTRE DOORS, NOW YOU WILL LEARN THE MEANING, THAT'S WHAT FRIENDS ARE FOR. FROM THE HEART

Carl MacDonald Returns Stolen Dictionary to Reading Room

If you see BOOKS IJike the one helow

Carl MacDonald is a loyal library user who comes in every few days to pick up country music tapes on loan from the Central Library and get a few paperbacks. Just recently, Carl was surprised to see our "old" edition of the Random House Dictionary, valued at $1 50 new, on the shelves of a second-hand store in our own neighbourhood. Carl pointed out the "Carnegie" label on the book and told the store owner he'd accepted a "hot" item. It was for sale for $20. Carl then claimed the dictionary, carried it all the way home (it weighs a ton!) and returned it to the Reading Room the next day. We want to thank Carl and all the other Carnegie patrons, hotel desk clerks and residents of the Downtown Eastside for returning so many books this year. Without your assistance the Reading Room cupboards would be bare. Eleanor

111

the D o w ~ i t o w ~Enstsitlc l Hotel Rooms Bars Restaurants

PLEASE Retn~mto t,lie Carriegie Rending Room

401 Main Street THANK Y O U FOR Y0U.R HELP

ANNOUNCEMENTS Individuals who contributed items for the Learning Centre Time Line may pick up their stuff on the 3rd floor. Just ask in the Drop-In. Items not picked up will be kept for future anniversaries. A showing of slides from the famous Sarti & Marina Walks, Crab Park and other Carnegie events will be held in the Theatre in early December. Watch for posters.

Ecosystem Planning is a group looking at habitat, eco-villages and eco-cities. The basic intentlwork seems to look at the future wholeness, with sentient political (electronic democracy), economic and, of course, ecological systems. It meets at the Burnaby Public Library at 3pm on the 4th Saturday of each month. Call 682-7326. "We cnn be the renaissnnce. "

Eva Tai, reports :

L.A.

I1 a t Carnegie,

You may be i n t e r e s t e d t o know t h a t on Sunday, May 10 a Chinese man who i s v i s i t i n g Vancouver became very e c s t a t i c over our He says i t Chinese collection. i s f a r b e t t e r than any p u b l i c He l i b r a r y i n San Francisco. then proceeded t o p u l l o u t o f his t r a v e l bag a b o t t l e of black i n k and a Chinese brush. Pushing a s i d e the various sheaves of newspapers s c a t t e r e d a l l over our "Chinese newspaper" reading t a b l e , he s a t down and "brushed" out a T'ang dynasty poem! He gave i t t o the branch a s a g i f t and walked out.

THE LASER MAGNET

G a r r y Gust

I n 1994 t h e b i o n i c s i n d u s t r y was f l e d gling. B i o n i c arms and l e g s were c r u d e l y e f f e c t i v e f o r t h e g r o w i n g numb e r s who needed them.

A t t h a t t i m e t h e b i o n i c s i n d u s t r y was t o t a l l y c o n t r o l l e d by a government t h a t c o n s i s t e d o f 256 p e r f e c t l y p,-ogramed S c i o b o t s .

F i f t y y e a r s l a t e r , i n 2044, human p a r t s and o r g a n s were r e a d i l y r e p l a c e d by s u p e r i o r p a r t s and o r g a n s i n c l u d i n g l u n g s and h e a r t s .

P h y s i c a l d i s e a s e and m e n t a l i l l n e s s were t h i n g s o f t h e p a s t . The e m o t i o n s o f t h e masses were programed t o be s t a t i c a l l y happy. Wars became unnece s s a r y , and t h e b i r t h r a t e was p e r f e c t l y balanced t o c o i n c i d e w i t h t h e w o r l d ' s p r o d u c t i o n o f food.

One hundred y e a r s f r o m 1994, a f l a w l e s s b i o n i c b r a i n was f a b r i c a t e d t h a t c o u l d be a t t a t c h e d t o t h e n e r v e system w i t h l a s e r f i b e r - o p t i c s , and c o u l d i n c o p o r a t e t h e memory banks o f a m a t u r e diseased b r a i n . By 2150 a l l human new b o r n s , upon d e l i v e r y , underwent t h e o p e r a t i o n o f h a v i n g t h e i r unprogramed b r a i n s t r a n s p l a n t e d by b i o n i c ones. There was an 60% s u r v i v a l r a t e .

E v e r y t h i n g was p e r f e c t ,

so i t seemed.

B u t on New Years Eve i n 2163, s o m e t h i n g o c c u r e d i n t h e c o a s t a l c i t y o f Vancouv e r , Canada t h a t a l t e r e d t h e p e r f e c t human r e a l i t y , and d e s t i n e d t h a t species t o slowly vansih from t h e face o f the earth.

2 B ceut-r

FORUM NOTES Statements coming out of the Leaning Centre Forum led to the conclusion that everyone has a different concept of the Learning Centre It's obvious there is overcrowding and it is difficult to combine community activities with overflow stings Learning from both Centre ESL hasand a similar the drop-in. problem. Ha-

You were here

Carnegie is not big enough to house everything, and having all the drugs and crime outside is not helpful. It is essential that the roots of the Learning Centre be kept in mind. It started because people in the community needed help filling in forms and reading letters. It has definitely gone beyond that concept, and outreach and basic literacy must always prevail in the development of new ideas. As one person said, she'd like us to slow down for a while and think about what we're doing. With Dora Sanders' help.

/ 4

The lifeorbreeze a moment is but a flicker But never you mind you are still at the core We are but a breath like a most quiet whisper And life has taught you many things And you realise you are here to bring many gifts So keep them coming Johnny Gibot

Plain Language

At the DERA monthly meeting in November the guest was Anna Terrana, Liberal MP, who rode into a parliamentary seat on the Liberal landslide. Ms. Terrana was asked to come to answer for the Social Policy ReviewICheap Labour Strategy being foisted on Canada. Terrana and other Liberals seem to take the information coming from Ottawa at face value, not questioning its validity or even honesty... just starting with the diehard "we can no longer afford it" on each issue and present programs.

On UI Would you rather cut-off seasonal workers (such as those in the fishing industry) from UI altogether OR tie UI benefits to family income, thereby increasing women's dependency on men? On student loans Should the government cut all remaining fhding for PSE, forcing universities and colleges to double and triple tuition fees? Should they create a loans program that will make sure all those in school who need financial assistance will graduate with a crushing debt load? On the Canada Assistance Plan (CAP) Should we allow the provinces greater "flexibility"" under CAP (as they already have with pilot projects like NB Works) so they can use CAP money to force poor people into dead-end, low-wage jobs (if they can find them) and call it "training"

This was some of the basic stuff behind the slick Newspeak of Axworthy and the Liberals. The meeting had been called to talk of this. Some people talked of what the proposed cuts will cause - poverty, unemployment and an education vacuum; training, counselling and seniors pensions; childcare, the invisible economy and job creation were all referred to. One man said that we are still in the position of having to ask the people in power to "be nice." Others seemed to believe that there was no lower they could go in terms of money. This is the saddest part. People have been flooded with so much media and hype that "there is no alternative" that it's taken as a foregone conclusion. Terrana said nothing to indicate that she has any analysis. She is "working very hard", she "has little or no time", and she is "doing her best.". Fine. That does nothing for us in the face of these cuts. She sat there for over an hour, making notes on questions or points , and then responded with a one or two-liner per point. The burning questions, related directly to the Social Policy Review, were not even acknowledged, except to say that she was 'looking into it'. She gave nothing for the community to hold onto, no hope that she would fight these cuts or even raise the issue of the massive protest against them. We were just one more stop in her little excursion. So far she's expressed interest in the weight of new born babies, she came to a Town Hall forum on street safety and drugs and, after hearing speakers telling horror stories and speaking directly to the issue, wanted to take 15 minutes and talk about the GST! She had no clue then and nothing has changed. BY PAULR TAYLOR

, 1

O n e T o o Many B o w l i n g Balls Why are white people so stupid? Why do they wear their hair so short so when the men get old they look like fuzzy marbles with teeth, bowling balls with ears Why do they profess all this Jesus, Holy Virgin and come downtown to make it with Indian girls, black girls, Asian girls Why do they work at jobs they hate and then hate anyone who doesn't work at some job they hate with bowling ball men with cigars yelling "only another 25 years 'ti1 you retire and die" Why do they want everyone else in the world to be like them, as miserable and corrupt ibworant, racist bastards who only love money and wouldn't know a good time if it came right up and kicked their teeth down their throats Why do they make a nice person like me wish there was another planet where they could go and fuck up the world with their Jesus and money and lying bullshit Why is hate so contagious? Explain that to me.

I Envy

Travelling west in the morning outside Fort MacLeod, Alberta passing by two Indian boys looking up watching the world pass by as the Greyhound pulls thru the Peigan reservation looking up with stars in their eyes their red shirts set against the golden hills the horses in the corral next to the house the boys looking up to see the world pass by

I imagine them looking after us as the bus rolls away but it is me looking at them back there their red shirts set against the golden hills the horses in the corral next to the house two Indian boys, free as the wind in the morning sky open and endless watching us aisappear R. Loewen

SOUND LEVELS AND HUMAN' RESPONSE A special "thank you" to the Camegie Community Centre Association for supporting our Acoustic Night, Wednesday, Nov. 16th. Our second Acoustic Night will be Wednesday, December 14th, following the Volunteer Dinner. The volunteers and musicians helped make an enjoyable for all, and a very special thank you to Dave McConnell and Earle Peach for coordinating and M.C.ing during the event. It takes a lot of courage to walk on stage and perform here at Camegie. Those people who provide entertainment for us deserve our respect for offering to perform. If "talk constructs our reality" then we have a problem! Any people in the audience who may have a critical opinion about a type ofx music or performer can leave the theatre if they aren't enjoying a performance. Rude remarks or negative comments are not appropriate in a community centre (read here common-unity) and it is hoped that a kinder atmosphere will prevail. We want our events to encourage participation, not discourage it. So, let's co-operate & lift up one another with good words and appreciation! A.M.

Pneumatic drlll Rock musk band

..j .

... ............-....----......... ...........

Subway. Motorcyde Lawn mower

............................... .-............."........

. .

very 'annoying' Level at which hearlng

Eleclrlc razor.

damaqe - (8 . hrs.). beglns . ............................................. -.-.... . . Annoying, interfereswith'.. .

Menv lnduslrlal work ~leces ..................... -..-.......-............... . : Average dly IraMc nolse ..-...-...."..............."-.....".........

...... conversation . . . . ... ...."........................................... ..

Vacuum deaner Halr dryer . Inside a car

.................... ............

........:..... ....."... ......-.-.

........

............................. Whlsper

Normal breathlng

Note: Recommended exposure tlmes are based on current . .,research .

Swm:CanadianHestinQW e W .

. . . .. . . . . . . .

There was an old building on the corner The community just about had to mourn her But the people protested (No one was arrested) And the Carnegie Centre was born 'ere! (From For The Record, Vol .8)

LINES FROM THE LEARNING CENTRE Come to the Learning Centre on the 3rd floor of Carnegie and find out what goes on. As the newspaper ads say, "contact us and learn something that will benefit you." One of the workers here is Windy Haven. She explains to you that many people come here to learn basic skills such as reading, writing and arithmetic. Others come to learn how to fill out forms, write cheques, handle money, f i l l out job applications, etc. Windy can help you with the details about becoming a learner at Carnegie. Did you know that you can study at your own level and at times best suited to your life style? This could be one-to-one or in a small group. You can start anywhere, work at your own rate and go as far as you want to go; even a high school diploma is possible if you wish. Teachers at the Learning Centre hold English as a Second Language (ESL) classes, and we have a computer room.

Would you liGe to hear a little bit abouc ' I . Windy? She is a mother of two sons and a daughter and grannie to two lovely kids, all of whom live in Vancouver. She was born in Drumhelller, Alberta, and has lived there, in the USA and in B.C. As Drumheller is the land of the dinosaurs and hoo-doos, she has been interested in geology all her life. Windy first started working at the Carnegie Learning Centre as a volunteer - as a tutor for people who have a limited knowledge of English, and as a monitor in the computer room. Then, in November 1993, she was hired as a part-time worker. Before coming here, Windy did a great deal of volunteer work. She was a founding member of an English Conversation Club for European and Asian-Canadians at Kiwassa Neighbourhood House; she also drove for a handicapped student with the Vancouver Resources Society Windy is a writer and a poet and at present her poetry deals with personal development and human feelings. She is a director of the Canadian Poetry Association and sometimes does readings at TIGERS restaurant and at Carnegie. She draws and paints and loves music, recently joined the Carnegie Music Program. Because of her interest in people, especially wanting to gain more understanding of aboriginal people, Windy enjoys her chance to work at Carnegie. She says she feels accepted here, appreciates the support form staff, tutors and volunteers and especially the many chances to laugh and socialise with people. SO - come to the Carnegie Learning Centre, join the gang, learn a lot and have some fun. It's your centre and it's free! By JOAN DOREE Volunteer Tutor.

Man tied to booze deaths gets day passes P E l T Fob.& Vancouver Sun

Corrine Rasaraba has not forgotten the name Gilbert Paul ,Jordan. Jordan, ti2, was convictcd in 1988 of manslaughter in the death hyalcohol poisoning of' Raseraha's dnughter, Venessa Ruckncr. He was originally sentenced to 15years in prison, but the B.C. Court of Appeal r--reduced that to

treatment after his release. "So that means he gets free room and board. That man is going to go on doing these thmgs ~fhe drinks atid everyone agrees, he's going to drink agaln," she said. At his trlal six years ago, Jordan 1 was descriis5< am5n whopreyd o f i o i t h j . Buckn G died of acute alcohol poisoning in a Vancouver

kh as Jordan serve more Pn. m e sick to my stomach release," White said. it take forthese parole derstand what they're fter time? If someone ' females, is six years answer is no." the regional manager board, was at the detenbut was not one of the threemember panel. He said Jorda was entitled to be released aflersen. ing two-thirds of his nine-year sen tence. "He has a one-chance statutorj release. There are certain condition> , he has to follow" Ihlko said. l f j o r b a n e s any of the conditions, including one restnctmg h ~ m from entering establishments that )sell liquor, h&ill go back to prisor.

parole board detention review held Thursday, Jordan will be allowed out on day passes by December. He has served six years of his sentence. Basaraba was at the parole board review. She found out earlier this week that she has cancer, but she didn't want to miss hearing the outcome of the hearing. "I hopedbethat it GILBERT PAUL JORDAN: wouldn't true, all the deaths and but I knew it ~ervingtimefor.manslaughter points the finger would happen," she said Friday. ''I at the justice system for letting Jor-' wasn't allowed to say anything, so all dan out early. I could do was listen as he went "It's not the parole board that's through his little speech, his crying at fault. I think they were caught in scene." a tough position. It's the whole sysBasaraba said Jordan carried a lit- tem. Everyone said that he shouldn't tle Bible into the parole board be allowed out, but they let him review,, and despite the objections talk his way through anyway.? of his AA counsellor, psychologists Reform MP Randy White (Fraser and his case worker, the three-mem- Valley West) says the time is right for ber board approved his release. changes in the justice system so .Jordan must return to prison at nights ;mtl on wcekends for the nest thrcc years, until his sentence is lini s h d He will rcccive psychological. Bararaba, with photo of daughter, Venerra

TORA AND THE PSYCHE..

Let's ignore Tora's inane reiteration of the simplistic, dual~sticview of people ("The Number Two") and deal with his article "Religion of Fear." First, one should note that, instead of examining the accusation that he is fascist, Tora chose, in the latest newsletter, to respond on the same level that he claims the accusations were made - that is, "Jung's family were Nazis, so what? Jung himself was not." (Note - we all lovelhate our Families, simultaneously or alternately, and if stating, at any time, that one dislikes one's family is publicly disowning them, the world is composed of disowners and the disowned and the word is meaningless.) Focusing on possible psychological reasons for the accusers accusations, as Tora does, is a knee-jerk reaction in political, clinical and religious confrontations, and finding rationale for dismissing the accusations on the basis of social psychology is typical. Didn't the mountain of clinical, academic and pop psychology books of this century, particularly of the sixties and seventies, create and examine that commodity, that coinage, that veritable industry, "the psyche", endlessly and from every possible angle, Freudian, Jungian, existential etc. etc.? These thousands and thousands of books, representing billions of hours of thought and study and billions of dollars, mean nothing, and people in our society, which produced these books and this industry, are terrified of seeing, of knowing themselves, says Tora, in spite of facts that prove the opposite, that prove we examine our psyches to an almost fetishistic extent. I view "the psyche", far from being a difficult thing to access, requiring the aid of drugs or sages (psychoanalysis or religion), as a commodity, a term meant to push the various agendas of people, groups or classes, who see some profit in what people "are" (what they need) on the psychological level, just as others see profit in what people are (what they need) physically clothes, shelter, food etc. That is why the corporate world Tora ostensibly despises loves Jung and all the modem psychologists, for they define the human usably, they refine the ability of the corporate and state institutions to exercise control over people, they idealize being "fully human" as an arcane practice, instead of obvious, continuous, universal. To be, they say, and Tora preaches, requires paraphernalia (commodities) and guidance (sages, priests, doctors). In point form now, for considerations of space, some comments on the article in question. 1. Tora forgets that a commodity is a commodity, whether or not it is "underground" (i.e. drugs, the psyche) 2. What are these so-called new areas of thought being explored by the mystics, according to Tora? Aren't they the old areas over and over and over again, and that's all, neither good nor bad? 3. Swastika. Only one, but the most obvious and pervasive one example of the Nazis fascination with mystical imagery. 4. When he uses the phrase "least evolved and uneducated mind", I know that Tora indeed

represents there the most fascist of the mystical traditions, that he believes in an orthodox, ordinary and dangerous hierarchy of individual enlightenments that has characterized every dream of a perfect society, of a perfect understanding, every religion, and which ha% been actively opposed by people who just want to live their lives productively, peacefully and without the propaganda, the idolatry, the supposed mystical world controlled by the so-called enlightened, the ubermensch. 5. Tora has stormed out of conversations with me twice, both times calling me an asshole, when I challenged his belief in the near perfection of ancient Egyptian society. He is writing a book on the subject of ancient Egypt, and surely his friends, or former friends, are aware of this. Perhaps they are also aware of history. As we do not use the dictionary to understand the concept "red, let's not use it to understand "fascism". Instead, let's use the concepts that many others use and not pretend the definition is horribly arcane. The standard taxonomy of fascism includes: -authoritarianism - certain individuals, classes and groups wield exclusive powers, and obeisance to said power is enforced, and without dialogue -totalitarianism - statelcorporate control exercised over all or nearly all aspects of private and public life, throughout the structure -nationalism - my country uber alles -militarism - enforced military participation, civil institutions play weak secondary role in processes of state, and corollary is that fascist states are often expansionist -capitalism - state supports and relies on corporations to the extent that the state and business become nearly identical, workers rights minimal or non-existent That's 4 out of 5 for Tora's ideal state. (Capitalist commodity production hadn't evolved yet.) I think what Tora really wants to tell us is that he finds refuge in the psyche, in thoughts about the psyche, in dreams of old worlds where he wouldn't have to, he feels, find refuge in the psyche. Fine. But that's not the beginning and end of knowledge. Who makes the clothes Tora wears, and who produces the food he eats, and who built the shelter in which he lives, and who manufactured his psyche? Isn't it rather the continuous, obvious, real community of people that is marvelous, that operates beyond our understanding, beyond our comprehension but affecting us very deeply indeed, that is a wiser object of study? Our existence depends on what happens around us and on our relations with the world, the rest of the world. Tora's psyche, and anyone else's, is just another element of that world, and not a particularly arcane or significant aspect of it either.

CARNEGIE SENIORS' SURVEY

- What Is Your Opinion?

This questionnaire is part of a "needs assessment" for the Carnegie Seniors program. There are services, like medical checks, and programs, like games and trips; everything is being looked a If you are age 40 or over, your opinion counts. It is anonymous - no name. The first two questions on age group and sex are just to see if opinions change for different ages and genders. Your help would be appreciated. If you take the time to fill this out, take it out of the paper (if you got it in the Newsletter) and get it to the Association Office on the 2nd floor of Carnegie. I f nobody is there just slide it under the door. The deadline for dropping off your questionnaire is Friday, December 9, at 4pm. The results from all this will be available in January, with the repor appearing in the Newsletter.

* How to do it:

Put a check mark before the appropriate response. (You are not limited to one answer, so check as many as you feel apply to you, your opinion & your situation.) Where the1 are blank lines, write in your answer. If you need more space, get more paper. 1.

Whatisyouragegroup? 2. What is your gender? 40 - 49 Female 50 - 59 Male 60 + Did you participate in any of the focus group sessions or interviews to find out about seniors needs, which took place last summer? Yes - no How would you best describe Carnegie Centre? a "healing place" to recover from bad times a meeting place a recreational centre a place to fight for community change a refuge from the street a living room a volunteer place other (please specify)

What a r e your favourite Carnegie activities and services? kitchen senior day trips senior camping trips volunteer trips library games nights music program seniors lounge dances bYm learning centre ball room dancing lane level (basement) lounge areas second floor lounge arts or crafts (please specify) Others (please specify) What would you most like to get out of any new programs o r activities? --opportunities to meet new people more exercise more interaction with other members more chances to get away from the Centre -opportunities to develop new skills opportunities to use existing skills other (please specify)

Which of the following (if any) activities interest you? games bingo --- dance instruction (e.g. line dancing, square dancing) organised competitions (e.g. cribbage, pool, games) sports (e.g. baseball, hockey) work shops or repair shops other (please specify) Which of the following (if any) community issues concern you? the effect of business developments on the community drugs and alcohol abuse services for youth elderly care -other (please specifl) Which of the following (if any) personal issues concern you? boredom access to counselling employment or training housing -- loneliness health adequate food and nutrition safety other (please specify)

Would you like to see any changes to Carnegie services or programming to help you addressthese community or personal concerns? (Please specify)

Which of the following (if any) conditions have prevented you from using certain services or programs? I don't know anybody in those programs I am uncomfortable with some group dynamics the programs don't fit into my schedule I don-'t know how to sign up I don't hear about events on time language or communication problems Other (please specify) Who do you think runs Carnegie Centre? city staff the board or association volunteers I'm not sure Who would you see if you had a problem with programming or services at Carnegie? a staff member an association member or committee I'm not sure Do you feel that there are effective ways to suggest new ideas or programs at Carnegie? Why or why not?

Do you volunteer at Carnegie? no -Yes If yes, what is your motivation for volunteering? pleasure or interest in the activity boredom or lack of other things to do food tickets or free coffee wanting to contribute something to meet people to feel useful to help with future employment possibilities other (please speci5)

16.

If you don't volunteer at Carnegie, would anything motivate you to do so? (describe)

17.

Do you think that Carnegie is a comfortable place to come to? no Yes If no, why not?

18.

Do you think that Carnegie is a safe place to come to? If no, why not?

19.

Are you concerned about the use of drugs or alcohol inside Carnegie Centre? no Yes

*For the following 2 statements, please circle the number above what you feel is most appropriate:* Members should have some input into the hiring of staff. 20. 1 2 3 4 5 strongly disagree undecided agree strongly disagree ab~ee There should be stricter punishments for members who disturb the comfort and 21. security of others. 1 2 3 4 strongly disagree undecided agree strongly disagree abvee Additional comments:

(Thanks for your help!)

...

Hostel By M. McCarthy At $10 a night, the Backpacker's Hostel at 347 Pender Street is the only kind of accommodation that world traveller James Nelson could afford. Nelson, 58, is a homeless journalist from London. A freelance writer who specializes in interviewing the down and out (he has been homeless for most of his adult life). Nelson wanted to stay in a shelter or emergency accommodation during his visit to Canada but found "no room at the inn." In a town where even a cheap hotel room costs $40, he was lucky to find himself a bed downtown at the recently opened Hostel. The hostel is only the second of its kind to offer cheap rooms to budget travellers. Vincent Fodera owner, has opened up a string of hostels across the country modeled on European-style dormitories, including one on Main St. that's seen visitors from round the world. "It's all right," said Nelson, comparing Backpacker's to hostels in London, "Here the people here are nice and friendly, and the chap shar1ing my room has been very 'elpful. It's better than doss-

ing down at the Sally Ann, I'll tell you that mate!" Travellers sleep up to four in a room, with single rooms available at slightly higher prices. A communal kitchen and living room are shared, with shower and laundry facilities also available. Backpackers and itinerant travellers like Nelson are the rule. Owner Fedora has opened shelters in Whistler, Victoria, Osoyoos, Kelowna and Seattle. In many instances the hostels have not been well-received by local residents. In Osoyoos criticism was levelled at "undesirable types" such as French-Canadian fruitpickers who work the orchards in the summer. 65 residents signed a petition protesting the hostel. Neighbours claimed the fruitpickers "slept on local benches, defecated in fields, caused fires and left litter," but Mayor Tom Shields admitted such people were better off being housed cheaply than sleeping in the open. In Whistler, where 5000 travellers paid as little as $1 8 a night the first year of operation, Backpacker's drew flack from police and the Whistler Resort Association. Mayor 'Ted Nebbeling

objected to "the large number of fire code offenses." Hostel Manager Calen Ceath, however, claimed that the affluent com~nunity objected to his "long hair & backpack clientele." In Vancouver, Fedora first came under fire from local housing advocates when he evicted some long term residents from The Hartney Apartments to open the New Backpackers. He was fined $500 for violations of the Residential Tenancy Act for illegal eviction. In his defence, Fedora claims the evictions of two women were for their "servicing customers in rooms and hallways, dealing drugs and harassing other tenants the rooming house was really just a whorehouse." He is upset that these facts were never reported, and says that other long-term residents have chosen to remain in their old rooms under the new housing arrangement. By providing budget accommodation, The Backpacker's Hostel has attracted both controversy and clients at most of its locations. Rut as visitor and reporter James Nelson said: "Jt's better than sleeping in the street, mate!"

"This article effectively sets hotel tenants' rights back to pre-Expo days."

Michael McCarthy Editor Change Magazine

I McCarthy is a good con - he believes lthat he deserves what he rakes in.

Vancouver, BC

mlAn'rs l?lGHTs

VIA FAX: 689-8614 Re: Your recent article: Hostel home to budget travellers,

ACTlOW COALITION

While 1 suppose we should commend your concern for visiting backpackers and their need for accommodation, your article including your defence of Mr. Vincent Fodera and his actions could mislead your readers and work to the detriment of the very people you purport to help.

The Hartney Apartmenta are what is called h housing parlance SRO's (Single Room Occupancy). They are usually 10'by1OY,have a hotplate for cooking, and a bathroom down the hall etc. It ain't the Ritz, but they are home to over 8,000 people in the downtown core. They usually charge $325.00 per month which is the maximum shelter amount paid by GAIN. Because of the affordable housing shortage, the vacancy rate in the 'SRO'hotels is quite low - drmgerously low. On the Granville strip, the vacancy rate is less than 1% .Theyare the housing of last resort before the street for many people and an important part of the housing stock. When one goes off the 'market' it is cause for concern.

Mr. Fodera can get $325.00 a month for a single room. If he turns it into a backpacker's hostel and puts four people in each room at $10 per night, this would nearly quadruple his monthly income. This might suit Mr. Fodera, but it's certainly not good for the residents of the Downtown area.

In the end, we suppose he can do what he wants with his property. However, when he illegally evicts t m t s without due process we are concerned. Ifthe tenants he mentions are indeed guilty of what he accuses them of, he could have gone fgr an early termination order at the Residential Tenancy Branch and they would have been out rather quickly and legally. Very few landlords are prosecuted in Supreme Court, as he was, for a violation of the Residential Tenancy Act. However, let's let your readers decide.

Tom During TRAC

CARTOONIST SELF PUBLISHES JOKE BOOK "Off The Bricks" by John Bell, subtitled "a Collection of Bricks", brings together the best of bell's bizarre humour under one cover. Bell's cartoons have been published in a few , papers, such as The Scene in London, Ontario, Collectors' Link, Kelowna and Allies I .In Vancouver, where one of his jokes was a winner in a cartoon contest. John has his work available in a number of ... , . . ,.. small book and comic stores from southern . . . Ontario to Vancouver Island. Locally it can be . purchased at Mabqie Mags on Commercial L Y.c. I. \ c c ~ sDrive. He brought it to Ye Olde Carnegie Newsletter, knowing full well there's no cash here for squat. He's graciously agreed to give everything he's done free of charge, so look for one or four of his cosmic moments in coming editions. I

ICrashT-C

. .

From Greater Vancouver Regional District To Ms. Bharbara Gudmundson Dear Ms. Gudmundson: Your letter of September 19, to Chairman Helsey-Brandt, regarding emissions from RAMM Productions' truck-mounted diesel generator was referred to me for reply. I understand you have also discussed this s issue with Mr. Alex Clifford of our office. Please be advised that sources such as these [RAMM's diesel] are regulated through administration of GVRD Air Quality Management Bylaw No.725 (the Bylaw). During his inspection Mr. Clifford noted that the generator was operating normally and that it complied with the Bylaw. It's unfortunate that it was located so close to your residence that even these emissions caused you some discomfort. Regardless, we have sent a letter to Viacom Productions, RAMM Productions' parent company, advising that precautions must be taken in the future to prevent undesirable impacts of emissions from their equipment when locating in residential neighbourhoods. Yours truly, Robert S. Smith, Assistant Air Quality Director

IYu w, L .

14 *rr.cr

rr. 6.".

My son, on the phone listening to his Dad "I'm a little drunk maybe tomorrow would be better we'll drink some Nestle's Quik do a few frozen pancakes shoot a little B-ball. He listens, knows Daddy went out and blew his Christmas money to get some paltry gifts for the ones he loves beyond measure, beyond death, or anything This boy of mine, doesn't care if it's tomorrow or today whether there's a dinner at Burger King or nuthin, doesn't care a whit about himself, says to me Dad, are you sure you got anything for yourself I hang up, cryin' Boy, you never know how much I got.

.*.Lw, Ll*U

1 "There's only two things in l Iforget what they are."

i f e r 1

"Things always look darkest just before they turn pitch black." Fred Niell

PANIC ATTACK You are, whatever age. You're calmly going about your business when BOO!!! a sibling usually, or acquaintancelfriend now turned fiend in your mind's eye, has jumped out from nowhere and startled you violently. Let's slow the forward motion of time and see what's happening. Sudden intake of an overvolume of air; your lungs are instantly filled to capacity as your body's muscles react in the ancient, primitive 'fi ght-or-flight' response to danger. They twitch into an instinctive cowering at the edge of isometric tolerance while your heart races from 70 to 180 or more in a split second, with the throttle of adrenaline goading the reptilian part of your consciousness to take the wheel of self and do something.....NOW! In that instant, whether you would admit it to another living soul or not, every bogeyman and ghost story from the depths of long-ago filed childhood memories comes in the instantaneous torrent the adrenaline has released. It's beyond a linear story line; just. Suddenly Sigourney Weaver's Alienfthe MummylFrankensteinlof course Draculd every serial killer ever reported, a weird Son of Sam of Ma Barker's Nightmare in the house on the hill dripping acid for spit, is all there in your Basest of Mental states like an uppercut to the hippacamus. And in that instant your mind is a hurricane in a print shop, a Spanish galleon of the 1400's falling over the edge of the known world casting any and all anchors into the void reality appears to have become, searching for that smallest of cliff-dwelling plants to latch onto... Then you, approximately a second later, recognise the face through the fear template,

recognise the situation for its practical joke reality and react in a manner appropriate for the moment as your body releases its death grip on whatever you may have been holding. Your palpitations slow, everything starts returning to a physically normal state as vour mind finds an appropriate and hopefullv dignified way to return from its paleolithic time travelling. That's the kiddie scare, remember? We've all been jolted like that once or twice. :luckily its effects last only 1 or 2 seconds at peak but subside quite rapidly and are gone in a minute or two after that. Luckily. Unluckily for some, what I just described is also the exact same thing which happens in what professionals call anxiety or panic attacks, and the most unfortunate part of' it is... it doesn't go away so easily. For whatever reason, and it varies from person to person in intensity and duration, they can last minutes, hours, even days. And just what are "they"? As I've just described: the Fight-or-Flight response taken to the ninth degree. That's a peculiarity of all people, a sort of hold over from those more primitive times that any person can sample in the small doses a quick startle can produce,..

And No, I don't have them anymore. Fortunately tbr me I've learned how they operate and what happens to trigger them in myself. The main component of my apparent victorv over this one personal Daemon? Knowledge. After I learned what exactly was happening physically in that state, how it operated and what triggered the panic... Voila! Unfortunately 1 had to do the research myself and trial and error my way to a resolution of that affliction, but possibly this may help someone else in a similar situation, so 1 offer this advice # 1 . You're not crazy, and don't ever let anyone try to convince you otherwise. #2. ~fPanic Attacks are all you suffer from, you do not require medication. In fact, medications which dull the ability to reason merely prolong the time you are susceptible to panic attacks. #3. 1 am not a professional and my advice is from subjective experience only, so if you feel you need help, seek it. #4. Above all "to thine own self be true and thou canst not be false to any man" (Shakespeare) By M. Oakley

I I

YWCA CRABTREE CORNER

INVITES YOU AND YOURS TO OUR YEARIaY C A R I STMAS PARTY.

D e c e m b e r 15, 1994 1:OOpm- 4:oopm Four Sister's co-op I53 powel 1 StreetV a n c o u v e r , nee.

1)A'I'E: TIME: WHERE:

COME AND ENJOY OUR TURKEY DINNER,

CHRISTMAS GIFTS, MUSIC

AND LOTS OF FUN! I

Only a friend Only as friend Will always care Only a friend Will always share

And you are that friend Who is so fine Someone who makes My life divine

You are so sweet And truly kind You always give me True peace of mind It means the most To have you near You are a friend Who is so dear! Sheila Bell

CROSSWORD # 8

ANSWERS TO PREVIOUS PUZZLE

DOWN

ACROSS

1. 8. 9. 10. 1 1. 12. 15.

Deadlocks 181 Religious singer (61 Rescue equipment (4.2.41 Disposition (61 Not m y decision (4.41 Interrupt (3.31 Vulgar (3-4)

1 6. 19. 21. 22. 25. 26. 27.

Chew (slang) (5,2l Anticipate (6) Mountain range 181 Biological division 16) Pushover 16.4) Make happy (6) Lots of noise (4.41

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7.

Soccer add on (6.4) Responsible 110) Vote (8) Shaft (71 The long way home 161 One (4) Rip (4)

13. 14. 17. 18. 20. 23. 24.

Off-ice hockey official (101 Last chance t o sell (5.5) Heat wave 13.5) Unbalanced ( w i t h up) (7) Interfere 161 Cargo area (41 Heavy metal (4)

Coloured Stone Noisy Dog Town Costello's Chevy Transparent Fluid Cool Hit Money River Mineral Creek Tough Limb Devil's Entrance Bee's bum Bill's Pond Ice Cream Bar Chocolate Dessert Set Fire to Water Overcook a honeymaker Shelter for a panel truck

1. 2. 3. 4.

Former Queen Fishy appendage To woo a joint 2000 Ib. monarch 5. Pursue 6. Sea Drops 7 Between Faith and charity 8. Horse Drawn Bugby 9. Century Home 10. Big utensils I I . Award 1 2. Massachusetts Tavern 13. Open pasture 14. Path 15. ~ l o c k a d e

Submitted by John LeBianc

r r

a m -

THE SIMPSON'S

O.J. Simpson was the football hero of the Seventies. He was a part-time film actor and did that commercial when he was running through that airport at top speed. (Foreshadowing?) Much later, O.J. Simpson again caught the attention of the continent when he was heavily implicated in the murder of his wife and her lover. 'That is one of the pitfalls of fame. Celebrities sometimes sut'fer a kind of delusion that .just because they are famous they can regard the rules of the community with impunity, feeling that their status is a license to crime. Noblesse oblige!

It is certainly a delusion because look where O.J. Simpson is now. And his popularity may be against him because the judge will think, "If I commute his sentence, everyone will know it will be a case of favouritism due to his fame despite empirical evidence." Who knows what will happen, though? Anything is possible - except nothing, I guess.

I I

What is the difference between tomato juice and O.J.? Tomato juice won't kill you!! By DEAN KO

DOWNTOWN EASTSIDE YOUTH ACTIVITIES SOCIETY

NEEDLE EXCHANGE PROGRAM Funding for the Needle Exchange Program is provided by the BC Ministry of Health, through the AIDS Secretariat. There is a problem being dealt with indirectly, which is fbnding has not matched the growth of use. One of the prime functions of the Program is to prevent the spread of disease. Infection with HIV, hepatitis, and other contagions will almost certainly rise, should finding not be provided to match this growth. Other initiatives include: A very successful program to help identie and treat clients with active tuberculosis. This is done though skin tests, subsequent chest xrays and treatment if required. The dramatic increase of overdose deaths, due to an influx of extremely pure heroin, has led to a major effort to educate users on safety measures. This includes flyers, posters,

pamphlets on safe fixing and the urging to users to check their drugs' purity. The Exchange works closely with the Ambulance Service, STD nurses, local medical clinics and physicians to identify health problems for clients. There is ongoing testing for HIVIAIDS for all who want it. Test results are kept confidential and workers provide information, education and referrals. Understaffing and time pressure prevents in depth counselling. The DEYAS Needle Exchange has been consistently evaluated by independent sources as one of the most effective in the world. Intravenous drug users in the Vancouver area and much of the rest of BC have remained healthy due to he succeeds of this program. The balance is delicate, however, and a lack of sufficient hnding could destroy it. The DEYAS exchange has the expertise necessary to continue this most essential work,. Given adequate resources, the Exchange will continue to do so.

Total visits

Caucas

Natlve

Black

Lath

Asian

Other

Nurse Visit

Testa

July

17862

11925

4786

440

253

368

Aun

18063

11937

5041

42 1

262

106

1994

SUPPLIES SUMMARY: JULY 1/94 TO SEPTEMBER 30194

)296

Condoms: 1200 gross = 173,000 condoms Swabs: 864 boxes = 172,800 swabs Vitamins: 600 bottles = 60,000 pills Lube: 53 boxes = 5300 packages

DOWNTOWN EASTSIDE YOUTH ACTIVITIES SOCIETY

STD CLINIC - 219 Main; Monday - Friday, loam - 6pm. NEEDLE EXCHANGE - 221 Main; 9am - 8pm every day. Needle Exchange Van - on the street every night, 6pm-2am (except Mondays, 6pm-midnight) !

1994 DONATIONS C h a r l e y B .-$32 B i l l S .-$2 P a u l a R.-$20 Bruce 5.-$20 S t u a r t M.-$50 Sandy C.-$20 Nancy H.-$20 C e c i l e C.-$10 Kettle FS-$16 H a z e l M.-$10 Law L i b r a r y -$20' B i l l B.-$16 L o r n e T.-$50 L i l l i a n H.-$50 J o y T.-$10 E t i e n n e S -$40 Diane M.-$16 Me1 L.-$14 A d u l t LCC -$12 Libby D.-$20 C a r n e g i e LC -$30 CEEDS -$50 M a r g i S .-$5 Sue H.-$35 Anonymous -$87 Sonya S.-$200 H e l p i n t h e Downtown E a s t s i d e ( f u n d i n g )

&@:k:ksae -

?@I,

L A

> L-

., NEWSLETTER I--,

THE NEWSLETTER IS A PUBLICATIONOF THE CARNEGIE COMMUNITY CENTRE ASSOCIATION Articles represent the views of individual contributors and not of the Association.

Legal Services Society -$930

NEED HELP ?

Deadline NEXT ISSUE J 2 December

The Downtown Eastslde Residents' Association can help you with: @

any welfare problem Information on legal rights d i s ~ u l e swith landlords unsafe living conditions Income tax UIC problem findlng housing opening a bank account

Come Into the DERA office at 9 East Hastings St. or phone us at 682-0931,

DERA HAS BEEN SERVING THE DOWNTOWN EASTSIDE FOR 20 YEARS

Dig S h ~Dudaet t It's a big shot budget and the big shots smile, It's a big shot budget in a Bay Street style, And the minister of finance bought new shoes Now you and 1 sing the Bay St. blues. Pain, pain, pain. There'll be tax on this and tax on that, Tax for the lean but not for the fat, And thesmokers gag and the drinkers sigh And a lot of dreams are kissed goodbye. Pain, pain, pain. It's big shot budget, all agree, Good for Business, bad for me, Time at last for common sense, A billion'more for our defence! Hear strangled cries from coast to coast As yuppies learn they'll hurt the most, Folks with kids, dogs and cats Must underwrite aristocrats. Pain, pain, pain.

Goodness no, we won't tax the rich, But we found a way to make 'em twitch, Wilson's populist at the core: They can't write off that yacht no more. Pain, pain, pain. It's a big shot budget and I'm so small, Thank God Mike Duffy explained it all, He put "jobs-jobs-jobs" in simple terms: It means more work for accounting firms. Pain, pain, pain. Pain, pain, pain (if you drive a car) Pain, pain, pain (if you're savingfor a home) Pain, pain, pain (if you try to run a farm) Pain, pain, pain (if you fish the sea) Pain, pain, pain (if you work in the plant) Pain, pain, pain (in Port Hawkesbury) Pain, pain, pain (if you wash your hair) Pain, pain, pain (if you feed your cat) Pain, pain, pain . . .

Nancy White The Tory Finance Minister, Michael Wilson, brought down his first budget in May, 1985, and it made a lot of people scream. Now Paul Martin will bring a budget down next February. Will it be any better?

how much she hates them ginger told me she can't do it anymore what else can she do? like she could when she didn't care a waitress worn-out with varicose and dime tips? but now she can't breathe fuck her way out by marrying some asshole? the bathroom she's hiding in ginger's getting old is smothering her fingertips gone from that artery shot the tiles like a demon's teeth veins calloused & collapsed grinning her drunken falls closing in fights she's had in jail on her heart pounding have streaked her face with scars it used to be like nothing other scars remind her she's an orphan she could let go & drift & still grieving for her lover dreaming of white sand beaches murdered by a cop-pusher warm salt water she can't concentrate very well licking her clean or even spell or making lists of what she'd do tomorrow but decides to say she's sick the laundry opens the bathroom door connecting with her dealer scraping against the floor but right now like her soul screaming even her cigarette is sweating she breathes deeply & ginger regrets flushing the pills builds a big phony smile once more pouring out the booze "I'm sorry honey," ginger say4 I wishes she had SOMETHING "but I can't make it right now, she's paralyzed with fear I haven't been feeling too good lately someone is carving her up inside she's crying tears she's never cried before so hysterical she's laughing / tonight I just can't" it's too much all of a sudden ginger's trick wants to know ginger's wringing wet "is it me? Is that what you're trying to say? she's burning up did I do something?" but has to go out there 'these bigshots think everything it's all she's known revolves around them since a rag merchant set her up little robot boys so many years ago who at least come quick but with speed it was always so easy like striking a match & the glue kick blowing it out' wearing cowboy boots & a silk nightgown glue dried on her face in black patches telling a cabbie 'take me to the glue store!'

" n o~ no no baby," ginger says "It 's not you I li ke you YO u're always so hot

a spiked heel in the balls for the wound he opened in her heart r

s just that I don't feel very good t it's got nothing to do with you

/we'd

"you're living off the avails of prostitution" ginger told me laughing talk about human change for days at a time I slept on her couch made runs for cheeseburgers & cigarettes from her penthouse apartment

(ant to see you very soon okay?" the trick says "listen if it's something I've done to turn you off I don't know what the matter is" a large framed portrait g11iger thinks 'at . least he's getting dressed' of marilyn monroe on the wall "but I'm not going to pay for anything" & when the stockbrokers he says newspaper journalists ./ creep with a mansion chinatown gangsters (wifeguzzling scotch in the closet came by to pay for it all js screwing up in university' "oh no honey," ginger tells him you don't have to pay there's something going around I'd wait in the lobby I inust've caught it I'm really sorry we'll have a good time soon okay? iere now baby ;e care & tell ginger how tough & cool they looked afterwards :you she'd tell me how fragile they were before y yeee" we'd laugh

ien ginger walked into an wearing high heels & a low-cut dress men rushed to help her ginger's prospects for a new way of life appeared to soar an older married man 25 years sober offered to take her under his wing reveal the spiritual essence of the program gave her a ride home put a heavy move on her iich ginger repulsed

/ /

one night after an aa meeting

at a skid row mission Maximum volume of 110,087 syringes too broke to pay for a cab month recorded in September 1994. ginger said she'd risk it despite her terror of subways we knew actual change means descent through a suffocating tunnel of fears I reassured her a late hour on a weeknight the cars would be empty ginger punched the transfer machine 10 times proof she rode a subway train at 1O:32 on the 2 1st of june we're on the platform March 1989 September 1994 ginger's sweating I tell her everything will be all right the train pulls into the station hundreds of kids charge down the stairs waving baseball pennants shouting yelling jamming us into the car as the doon close ginger turns green sits down tight-lipped but manages to say "talk to me!" I tell her it could be worse we could be in new york I imitate straphangers thrashed & flung like dead beef by screeching - cars lights flashing stroboscopically I'm jumping up & down in front of jabbering & gesticulating ginger starts laughing & says "I'll never trust you again!" she's already begun trusting SOMETHING infinitely wiser