September 1, 1987, carnegie newsletter by Carnegie Newsletter

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Where do we belanu? -a= For six years now, C a r n e g i e Centre h a s b e e n supervised by the city Social Planning Department. That's the w a y Carnegie p a t r o n s , staff and the Carnegie Community Centre Association Board prefer it. Under Social Planning, we have become the most unique and successful community centre in Canada. As well, we have a direct line to City Hall. That's how we got the $700,000 for renovations. But now the Carnegie Centre Review Panel recommends that we be switched to the Parks Board. Why? The Panel admits that most everybody in Carnegie wants' to stay with Social Planning, but it says the Parks Board would provide better "administrative support structures" to run the centre. There are several good reasons to avoid the Parks Board : It would be harder to keep programs free. We would have to go out and raise money from somewhere.

W e would have t o c o m p e t e with more t h a n 20 other Centres, like Point Grey and Kerrisdale, for funding for new programs. Our street-wise staff, especially at info, security and CPA, could be squeezed out in favor of new employees with the "proper1' (professional) credentials. () T h e City would lose $210,000 per year, plus $ 1 million retroactive, in federal money for Carnegie if there is a switch. The Parks Board is a recreation service. It is not equipped t o deal w i t h t h e social programs that Carnegie needs. This question is crucial to the future of Carnegie and community. Almost 90% of residents live in an environment or economic constriction and social hardship. Camegie, under Social Planning, is a haven and an oasis and can't become a classroom experiment. :

FROM THE EDITOR'S DESK

Claude Richmond, Minister of Social Services and Housing, was the f i r s t Socred t o ever accept an invitation to meet with residents of the Downtown Eastside. This report w i l l be from two points of view. I was a t +he Glib

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getting him i n and out, not t o l e t a r e p e t i t i o n of egg-throwing occur, no coffee (could be thrown), f i r e regulations on crowd size, the heat and the TV cameras, the purpose of the event... Jim Green spoke well about the need t o "change Mr. Richmond's mind." M r . Richmond is an expert a t debate; he had charts, categories, budget figures; he gave a standard i n t r o about being pleased t o come and DERA1s good work; he's a veteran of getting through hecklers' shouts and dissect i o n of questions. Each speaker introduced themself, made p o l i t i c a l statements, and a l most invariably ended with a c a l l f o r Richmond t o j u s t i f the cuts. Richmond would ignore __y;1 t e r e a l i t y of what the r e s u l t s would be and j u s t r e f e r t o figures - t o "the hundreds of millions of dollars already being spent on social services i n t h i s Province.'"ppearances and the media were foremost - outrage, disgust, individual hurt and collective "punishment", women having t o p r o s t i t u t e themselves t o survive. . - seemed t o change nothing i n Richmond's stance. Richmond said t h a t he wanted more of these "face-3.0-face" meetings -

the unvoiced premise being t h a t we a r e amateurs and the government and. t h e i r consultants a r e seasoned pros. Like it o r not, t h i s i s the r e a l i t y t h a t they play by. The r a r e instances of a speaker s p i l l i n g t h e i r guts a t the microphone and getting a sympathetic, human response from a p o l i t i c i a n can be ordered cut from the news. We have t o stop ourselves from puking our guts out when changes give 'them' more and 'us' l e s s . PAUL TAYLOR

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mom a persorr 11ui bi the z88tir;g see llTHE DANCE" - page 8

has entered a higher s t a t e of consciousness t o decide whether t o Kaptain Kose, o r go f o r ' h i s Boss's job. Assistant Creator

READ WELL PEOPLE: Now it is not a one candidate race f o r Pope of the Downtown Eastside, since my f a i t h f u l followers begged me t o run - so I s a i d yes, okay, t h i s time. I am going t o w i n the race f o r Papal tenure: My f i r s t fundraiser w i l l be a toga party a t Wreck Beach. Captain Chaos P.S. : Check your toga a t the cloakroom i f you f e e l overdressed.

Hello. I have a complaint and I say it here because others may have it too. Volunteers a r e not t o be picked on by people using Carnegi'e. If someone keeps bothering one of us and we get mad and t r y t o stop it, well you can only take so much. My complaint is t h a t when a s t a f f person hears the one bothering one of the volunteers, they don't l i s ten t o our s i d e of the story. I f the s t a f f is r e a l busy, they shouldn't j u s t bar someone f o r trying t o stop someone from picking on them. Being the boss i s one thing, but we're not children and shouldn't be treated l i k e kids. I f you a r e too bossy, then you don't l i s t e n and understand. I love Carnegie and I love working here and helping everybody. welcomeback Nancy J. a f t e r 6 weeks! The next time someone picks on me, 1'11 t e l l a s t a f f person f i r s t then i f nothing happens COOKIE MONSTER

OBITUARY Mary Wong , a l s o known a s "Mum1' t o Downtown Eastsiders, died of cancer on Saturday, August 15. Largely a t her own expense Mum operated M u m ' s Kitchen a t Cordova and Jackson, a place where area residents paid incredibly low prices f o r high quality coffee and food. Internment a t Forest Lawn Cemet e r y took place on Friday, August 20. Downtown Eastside residents w i l l cherish the memory of t h i s s a i n t l y woman f o r many, many years.

PROGRAM

-. . . .

A Life S k i l l s Course w i l l be o f f e r ed a t Carnegie t h i s f a l l . Beginning September 28, f o r 10 wks., 10:30 - 12:30 Monday t o Friday, the course w i l l cover communication s k i l l s assertiveness training, problem s o l ving, s t r e s s management, goal s e t t i n g , decision making, health and n u t r i t i o n , r ---J ~-..-t:-,. bfidupi i r i v -\y I I -t-\ L CUII ; ~ I L UU C ~ ~ L I I ~ with anger. There w i l l be a f e e f o r t h i s course which may be covered by M.S.S.H.@lHR), I f you a r e interested please contact Claude Mortimer i n the Learning Cent r e or Donald MacPherson i n the Program Office a t the Carnegie Centre. -t

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o r 'Somebody s a i d ...' The Director of Bead Research i n New York said l a s t week t h a t here i s no t r u t h i n the story t h a t the Native Chiefs sold Manhattan f o r a handful of junk. I t was gold coins - worth about $40 - and they d i d n ' t s e l l it, they j u s t took the white man's present because it was the p o l i t e thing t o do. Later i n 1846, some h i s t o r i a n wrote t h a t it was a s a l e f o r a handful of beads and t h a t was how America got s t a r t e d .

"PROGRESS IS WHAT TERMITES ENGAGE BEFORE YOUR HOUSE FALLS DOWN."

detox maybe?

Sun, Aug. 26, Armed with a report urging expansion of services for alcohol and drug abusers, Vancouver Mayor Gordon Campbell and city representatives were to meet Health Minister Peter Dueck todayto voice objection to the proposed closure of a downtown east side detoxification centre. The meeting, scheduled for Vancouver's cabinet offices, comes after council gave unanimous apprbval Tuesday to a series of recommendations regarding an announcement by the healthministry to close the 22bed detox centre at 59 West Pender on Aug. 31. "This was really sort of a bombshell that was just droppped on the city," Ald. Libby Davies said Tuesday. "I thing that's something that needs t9 be taken up with the minister, that here is a community resource that the community has depended upon, and all of a sudden it's gone and no one knows about it and everyone's scurrying around in a number of days trying to get something together."

Dueck flip flop Health Minister Peter Dueck flip-flopped yesterday on a decision to close the Pender Detox Centre on Aug. 31. After meeting Vancouver Mayor Gordon Campbell, Dueck agreed to keep the centre open for now, but couldn't say when a final decision will be made.

Province Aug. 27,

SAS UATCH COUNTRY One of the best camping t r i p s I attended occurred on the 19th, 20th and 21st of June. Camp Bigfoot was so well hidden we had d i f f i c u l t y i n finding it. We combined the Scout and Cub camps and decided on a Sasquatch theme. To get t o the camp, we drove t o the Sasquatch Inn. Our f i n a l destination , " -W--~

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To begin with it was impossible t o pump water from the well. The mosquitoes almost a t e you a l i v e , but the beauty of the f o r e s t made it well worthwhile. We found a l o s t dog a t the camp. She made herself r i g h t a t home with the boys and thoroughly enjoyed e a t ing a l l the goodies we had with us. The dog had a Vancouver licence on her c o l l a r and we intended t o take it back with us when we returned. However, the Scout leader went t o the corner s t o r e and saw a poster f i t t i n g Cleo's description. There was a phone number t o c a l l .

The owner had thought she'd never see Cleo again and the pleasant news made her extremely happy. She s a i d t h a t she and her boyfriend would come and pick the dog up. Apparently t h i s lady from Vancouver managed t o get a job looking a f t e r t r a i l horses near our camp. Three weeks before our camp there was a t e r r i b l e thunderstorm. Cleo had be" ,ccze yep; trq$";tez& hid kid i-ill~UII. The day before Cleo was picked up, hiking up the t r a i l s with the boys. , They r e a l l y missed the dog a f t e r she l e f t . The remainder of the weekend, it rained a great deal so we completed a l o t of c r a f t s which the boys and leaders thoroughly enj oyed . The Scouts spent valuable time learning s k i l l s t o prepare them f o r the Yukon-B.C. Scout Jamboree, held from August 8th t o 15th. Every so often I need the wilderness tonic t o recharge my battery. By IRENE SCHMIDT

"Oh!

Mommy, Mommy:

look!

They s i t r i g h t on the water."

"Yes.

They belong wherever they can go. I ' ttBut why do the birds s i t on the water, Mommy?"

"Well, because t h e i r bones a r e hollow, so they a r e l i g h t enough f o r the a i r t o play with, l i k e leaves when the wind blows, and because they have wings. Wings a r e the kind of legs you need t o play in the sky." "Oh. Look, Look they're flying again. 'Mommy?' '

Bye birds.

.."

"Yes, Angel. IWhy is the sky blue?" "I don't how. Maybe i t ' s because blue i s the biggest colour." "What ' s a f t e r the sky?" "The sky never ends, angel. "What ' s forever ?" "The longest time there is.

I t j u s t goes on and on forever. " Come on now, i t ' s time t o go."

"Let's s t a y till forever." "We can't angel, w e have t o get home." "How come?" "Because I have t o get some extra work dolie f o r the o f f i c e tonight." "Oh." ' 'Mommy?" "Yes, Angel?" 'Why a r e we poor?"

- Steven Belkin

HEADLINES Tl-h-ATRE PRESENTS

"NO XYA" (Our Footprints1 to oDen in Kispiox

Fifty-four Gitksan and Wetlsuwet'en hereditary chiefs a r e suing the Provincial and Federal governments i n the B.C. Supreme Court f o r recognition of t h e i r people's r i g h t t o ownership of t h e i r ancestral lands. The f i r s t s i x weeks of t r i a l took place i n Smithers, in Gitksan-Wet's'tiwet'en t e r r i t o r y , during May and June. Chief J u s t i c e Allan McEachern, presiding over the case, i n h i s good judgement decided afterwards t h a t h i s comfort and the convenience of the Court were more important than the r i g h t of t r i b a l elders t o witness the t r i a l within t h e i r own t e r r i t o r y , and declared t h a t the case would reconvene i n Vancouver rather than Smithers. Another blow came from the Federal governemnt, which mysteriously withheld from the Tribal Council over a million d o l l a r s of funding t h a t was romised t o help with the enormous costs 7t e hereditary chiefs a r e facing i n t h e i r b a t t l e . (A million dollars is not a l o t compared t o the b i l l i o n s of d o l l a r s of resources t h a t have l e f t the Gitksan-Wet'suwetlen t e r r i t o r y since s e t t l e r s f i r s t arrived.) A t t h e i r request the hereditary chiefs, through the Tribal Council, have now received a further postponeHeadline5 Theatre was a l l ready t o open "NO 'XYA' (OUR

ment n f the r a w .

FOOTPRINTS) i n Vancouver i n conjunction with the reconvening of the court case. Now, with the case postphoned, the Provincial tour kick-off is i n Kispiox, i n t r i b a l t e r r i t o r y . The Chief J u s t i c e won't be there, but Headlines w i l l . OUR FOOTPRINTS begin i n the land of the Gitksan and Wet suwet' en.. September 9,

For more information please contact: Valerie Dudoward, publicist 738-2283 i n Head1ines ' Vancouver off i c e Marie Wilson or Herb George 842-6511 Gitksan-Wet ' suwet' en Tribal Council Off.

The Dance

DERA meetings have always been open t o a s many people as could get into the Carnegie Theatre but " f i r e regulations" were used on Friday t o l i m i t the attendance. DERA said they wanted a big crowd of local people. When I arrived a t 1 0 a.m., the crowd wasn't as large as I ' d expected and most of the faces were unfamiliar - people from somewhere. The cameras were r o l l i n g . Later I heard t h a t people had been d r i f t i n g i n since 9:30 and f i ~ ; " , ~I;13ude t, pir_b-rgP.C;, , E ~ si---'.--i n ~i a % ----' would magically appear - as i f from nowhere - and be ushered i n the back door by, i n my opinion, 'image conscious s o c i a l i s t s ' . The "Protect Claude Richmond Game" would begin. DERA can help the image of the Downtown Eastside by toning down the reactions of members, but J i m Pattison was defending landlords' r i g h t s t o throw people into the s t r e e t s f o r money and actually deserved the egg he got i n the fa=, believe it or not. I can't swallow my pride 6 learn t o speak l i k e an i n t e l l i g e n t parrot about something ugly& tupidGridiculous - l i k e raising welfare by $9 and then lowering it $7 ! This is some s o r t of petty s a d i s t i c manipulation of peoples' l i v e s over pennies when nothing l e s s than a hundred dollar increase i s even worth talking about. .but who needs (or wants) t o hear the truth? 'We don1t want any more eggs tossed," they say Richmond i s s a f e and DERA looks concerned/reasonable. The objective seems t o be t o get a good public image out t o suburban living rooms, but the funny thing is t h a t the more concern there is about 'image', the l e s s f a i t h i s

...

demonstrated in the r e a l goodness of the actual cause. Maybe Richmond w i l l say ' t h i s 1 and DERA w i l l say ' t h a t 1 . . but i t ' s a l l very predictable and well behaved. What about the voice shouting from the back of the room? W i l l the Minister and h i s government assume personal responsibility f o r our anger and outrage? A l l these people who a r e trying t o look good wind up looking bad a s a r e s u l t - a t l e a s t t o me. Listen DERA: "Nice" is not looking good; "nice1' is doing the r i g h t thing, =d t c - ~ l i p ? l p l I I ! ~ ~ . I L ~ gil~ifigthe Socreds nothing but r i d i c u l e and contempt. Why not open up and l e t it out?..those p a r t s of the t r u t h hidden i n the dark. Well, DERA never did claim t o be radical anyway, and maybe t h a t ' s why they do so much good s o c i a l work, but they seem t o worry about t h e i r image too, too mch. TORA

PRIVATIZATION of WELFARE! ? ! Along with i t s recent Welfare cuts, the Social Credit Government has made arrangements t o promote the services offered by ''The Hewitt Group1', an 'Employment Consulting Agency" A brochure advertising the services of t h i s private company has been included i n each August 26 welfare payment - from which 7 (seven) d o l l a r s has been cut.

"there must be a stance of life which seeks not simply to muster power against the misdeeds of society, but to transform the very. sense men have of reality."

Theodore Rosaak t h e rna1:i.n~ o f a c o u n t e r - c u l t u r e

TAKE TIME FOR 10 THINGS 1. Take time t o Work - it is the price of success. 2. Take time t o Think - it i s the source of power.

Take time t o Play - it i s the secret of youth. 4. Take time t o Read - it i s the foundation of knowledge. 5. Take time t o Worship - it is the highway of reverence and washes the dust of earth from our eyes. 6. Take time t o Help and Enjoy Friends - it i s the source of happiness. 7. Take time t o Love - it i s the sacrament of l i f e . 8. Take time t o Dream - it hitches the soul t o the s t a r s . 9. Take time t o Laugh - it is the singing t h a t helps with l i f e ' s load. 10. Take t o Plan - it is the secret of being able t o have time t o take time f o r the f i r s t nine things. --- I\+- nnr\ --*-~ U L Zi f i ?i~ile, a person wheeled a c a r t across the 2nd f l . Six creamers dropped but weren't noticed. Next came a s t a f f person who walked r i g h t over them. How amazing t h a t within 5 minutes, 15 people walk over them Finally, the 17th person, who had passed them a couple of minutes before, bent down and picked them up... but only kicking two and not realizing what they were doing there. How I wish I could bend. Oh-oh, #17 has found the l a s t two. Moral of the story: Keeping your f e e t i n the clouds o r your head on the ground makes you a sad joker. BM 3.

ALL

WALL

S'.

What t h i s story is about, i s my l i f e and how I ended up doing a l i f e sentence f o r murder. I intend t o show the reader how a cruel upbringing can lead t o prison. I am very fortunate t o be a l i v e t o write t h i s and t o look forward t o my now and t o the future. From the e a r l i e s t point of my memory, I cannot remember being hugged and kissed by my parents. In f a c t , I cannot remember them hugging and kissing each other. What I do remember goes something l i k e t h i s ... There wasn't much laughter i n the places we lived; they never could have been called homes. Most of the time the man of the house who was supposed t o be the father and the woman who should have been mother were yelling or throwing things. Of course there was the occasional spanking with the b e l t t h a t h i t anywhere from ankles t o a m p i t s . . Even t h a t wouldn't have been constant pain, however they had the help of my uncles who enjoyed molesting me. I remember a few s e l e c t incidents where, a t the age of five, I was threatened with a r i f l e by one uncle. This s o r t of thing was not regular; usually it was only physical force and f a i r l y regular u n t i l the age of twelve. Usually my 'special uncles' would l i v e with us and my loving parents never noticed these strange changes. I remember walking into a bedroom once and remember seeing two of my mother's friends engaged i n a homosexual play of s o r t s involving knives. I was only a child though, so what did it matter that a l l these things were seen and experienced by me. I can actually remember trembling a t the sound of my f a t h e r ' s voice o r my mother's whining. From a very young age, I thought t h a t these things went on a l l over the world. Of course when people were in public they were d i f ferent, but a t home they a l l argued and fought. People didn't hug o r kiss each other unless it was a homosexual a c t . Around the age of eight I s t o l e from one of my ~ m c l e sand nothing was said. Silver dollars were p r e t t y t o me a s I never had money, o r candy bars. That year I s t a r t e d lying a l o t t o get away from the b e l t and became good a t it. I also broke windows and things l i k e t h a t and managed t o l i e my way out often. Because I changed schools a t l e a s t once per year, I never made any friends; most kids"arents kept them away because we were very poor. When someone m u l d show friendship or caring f o r me, I would s t e a l from them or hurt them emotionally. I t is sad how children copy t h e i r experience. My grades i n school were always t e r r i b l e . I was always the slow kid, never doing homework, but no one seemed t o want t o help with the problems. I didn' t understand. No one thought it important enough t o s i t down and just t a l k t o me. J u s t going outside and play; or it was bedtime or t o bed without your supper or kneel in the corner and of course the arguments t h a t ended up with me getting the belt. These arguments seemed t o center around me, so I was t h e i r problem - the source of t h e i r unhappiness. In f a c t , l a t e r on I used t o wonder i f everyone became happy when I went t o school or wasn't around. And when I got off the school bus, I would won-

der i f the other children talked about me. I d i d n ' t have nice clothes o r a . decent lunch and no one wanted t o come t o my house of course I was very ashamed i f they ever did, especially i f arguments occured. There were only s i x children when I was a c h i l d i n the 50's and e a r l y 601s, so $100 .OO a month t h a t my f a t h e r earned o f f the welfare wasn't too comforting. The $100 d i d n ' t come u n t i l t h e l a t e 50's. More children came l a t e r but I had l e f t home when the number reached nine. (Later - t o eleven.) A t the age of sixteen with l e s s than a grade eight education, I decided t o get away from t h i s turmoil. I had l e f t a t f i f t e e n but was brought back. Oh, I forgot t h a t from the age of 10 on, I went t o church because my mother i n s i s t e d . When I would question the r e l i g i o n o r why her actions were d i f f e r ent from church, she would g e t angry. By t h i s time I was convinced t h a t everyone was lying and trying t o hurt me. A t 16 I thought t h a t i f I went t o the c i t y things would g e t b e t t e r . I thought t h a t I could make a good l i v i n g and t h a t was about a l l the thought I gave t o the matter. I found something very d i f f e r e n t . I was even more alone and frightened. My f i r s t c o n f l i c t with society occured when an older companion and I broke i n t o one of my uncles' houses and vandalized it. No one understood o r asked the 'why's'; I was an outcast. To the a u t h o r i t i e s , I was a bad k i d . No one understood, including myself, t h a t I was hurting him back f o r a l l the times he had hurt me. Somehow I interpreted t h i s a r r e s t as the law's defending him. I was not able t o seperate my h u r t from the r e a l i t i e s of the s i t u a t i o n . I was t o t a l l y unequipped t o f i t i n t o the work-a-day world. I found that I was confused and t o t a l l y unable t o communicate with people. From my point of view, I was an intruder. I didn't belong no matter where I went. I Co~lnd also t h a t I couldn't cope with bosses. I f e l t threatened by them and was constantly running from authority of any kind. Within a few months of my f i r s t a r r e s t , I was arrested again. This time it was f o r c a r t h e f t . For t h i s offence I received a sentence of s i x months

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close t o the end of t h i s sentence. I talked t o a psychologist and t r i e d explaining t o him how I f e l t ; apparently he wasn't alarmed, as a l l he wanted t o do was t a l k about h i s favourite f i s h i n g hole. I had never been fishing o r done much of anything e l s e so I listened without much i n t e r e s t . The interview must have gone a s it was supposed t o as I was granted a parole which I completed, but with a few months passing, I was back f o r another three months. In the period between, I got drunk with older fellows but never seemed t o f i t i n f o r some strange reason. I t was a t t h i s time t h a t I began t o be very d i s t r u s t i n g of men who were larger than myself and I was very suspicious of older men. In f a c t , I was very a f r a i d of these people and resented them; I f e l t t h a t they were a l l homosexuals against whom I was defenseless, especially i f I was alone with them. This became a r e a l handicap i n my l i f e f o r many years t o come. I was so frightened a t times t h a t I would l i t e r a l l y tremble a t times. In f a c t it was t h i s kind of f e a r t h a t was responsible f o r my k i l l i n g another man. Back on the s t r e e t again, I went back t o hanging around s t r e e t corners,

12 sleeping in parked cars o r hotel stairwells. Once i n awhile, I would be lucky enough t o sleep i n run down apartments of people who were close t o the same situation. My thinking was distorted; so much so t h a t I never even considered working. I would l i t e r a l l y go without eating f o r days u n t i l someone f e l t sorry f o r me and bought me a meal. This was a t the age of 18 when I seldom washed o r bathed and didn't even have a change of clothes. In f a c t , when the ones I had became unwearable I would s t e a l some from a clothesline, but only enough t o wear. In summer months I a t e b e t t e r as there were gardens t o raid. A t t h i s point i n time, I met a group of outlaws who wanted t o form a motorcycle club. In a way they adopted me and although I s t i l l lived shabbily, 1 always had a place t o sleep i n a club house and they made I a t e a t l e a s t once a day . . on most days, t h a t is. I was rather frightened of t h e i r crazy antics which were, a t times, insane. bly rear, fed by the f a c t t h a t I s o r t of f i t in, made it easy f o r me t o a c t I I - y I I \i9l.i rrl c:?rry-fig ~ ~ - ~ I J . n T Pri S_f i g h ~ k g >~",E!I? I b:BS c E ! ~ t B i ? , or knew I would have help. This lasted f o r a short while and I eventually turned myself i n t o the police f o r an outstanding charge of car t h e f t . Once again I f e l t secure and did most of my 15 months sentence. A t t h i s point, I I L ~ ~interviewed S by a p r i e s t ; he turned out t o be homosexual who would support yo~ulgprisoners coming t o h i s halfway house i n return f o r sexual relationships upon release. Once accepted and exposed t o t h i s f o r a few weeks, I jumped my parole and fled back t o the area t h a t I was most familiar with. '11x f i r s t place I went was t o my parents. My mother s t a t e d t h a t i f I went there t o l i v e she would leave. So I ended up living i n a shabby hotel room with one of my homosexual uncles. I was s t i l l unable t o function properly and t o understand t h a t I should educate myself. Life was very lonely and 1 f e l t that I didn't belong anywhere. by a d i s t a n t I t was a t t h i s time t h a t I was introduced t o my f i r s t wife coils i n who wanted t o be shed of her. Being broke and very lonely made my lieed f o r her greater. I liked her as a person, and i n i t i a l l y we did enjoy ti~nestogether. She was compassionate towards my situation. Between her and .her brothers and s i s t e r s , I was invited t o board a t t h e i r home. They accepted me as I was and s a i d t h a t I could s t a y rent-free u n t i l finding a job. I grew very close t o t h i s family and enjoyed doing odd jobs around the house f o r t h e i r mother. They r e a l l y gave me a break, however my s t a t e of 111indbrought me into c o n f l i c t with theii: kindness. I realize now t h a t i n the past I stopped people from getting close t o me, expecting t o be hurt. And i f I wasn't by others, I would do it t o myself hy chasing- peqple who cared away. This is common behaviour f o r most people of' similar backgrounds t o mine. I went from job t o job and was under a doctoits care f o r depression. I just couldn't adjust. We were married not because she wanted t o but because I persisted. Things went bad quickly. I had been i n t o s o f t drugs as an escape, however they did nothing t o help me adjust emotionally. Unable t o keep a job and not r e a l l y caring, 1 turned t o ways I learned i n childhood - the ways of my parents L-.

I D'

arguing and beating V wife f o r no reason. I then s t a r t e d using needles. 13 prior t o t h i s , I was i n a psychiatric ward of a hospital, t o help me recover from depression. This was t o serve no purpose. I wasn't treated because I was not able t o pay for therapy. A t t h i s time I separated from my wife and went s t r i c t l y i n t o drug dependency. I seldom a t e and did as much speed as I could get my hands on; it was my misfortune t o be liked by a l l the dealers so I could as much f r e e as I wanted. They would even l e t me stay a t t h e i r apartments o r homes so money meant nothing. I spent many years l i k e t h i s , but during t h i s time I always f e l t alone even with others where I lived. I returned t o my wife again, briefly. I t r i e d t o get help as I was l i t e r a l l y mad. I hallucinated constantly. I was so frightened of everything and everyone t h a t I would have f i t s of violent outbursts; as i f t o scare off an attacking enemy. A t t h i s time my wife l e f t me a s she could take no more abuse and I am certain t h a t she was frightened f o r our child. Looking back I am sad f o r the amount of pain t h a t I am sure t h a t I caused . she stayed thr0Wh.a great deal. Thinns l i k e my running around on her, beating her, crying and sleeping with a gun under the pillow were common occurrences. There were even times when I sought out homosexuals a s frightened as I was of them, and then t o l d her about it. Death was ever present i n my mind. I had constant b a t t l e s within myself; so a f r a i d of being punished by God and being tortured by Satan. I spent day a f t e r day alone, seeing devils appear a t my windows, f r i g h t ened t o the point t h a t I would pray f o r help o r , a t times, I would challenge them. My i l l u s i o n intensified and I thought t h a t the whole world was p a r t of t h i s satanic force t h a t was out t o destroy me. Feelings of helplessness made me want t o be powerful. I t r i e d t o s e l l my soul f o r a million dollars and power plus eternal l i f e . Several times I searched garbage cans i n alleys f o r the money. Everything was so distorted t h a t these d i s t o r t i o n s became r e a l i t y . I constantly heard voices o r saw images f l a s h by me o r hide behind things. A s time progressed I used more and m r e drugs; mostly speed. Of course I would not turn anything down and did hallucinogenics also. On the average T ,rrnrl A-.-clay, >v~!!eihesZTP, 216 iq v e yJr larnn 6' UI Ug 5 G~ 4 tine< , , , +,. a,. +t.:dosages. One day, when one of the people with whom I had been doing drugs with got blood poisoning, we could not get money f o r a prescription. After being turned down by someone we knew, I beat the guy badly, fracturing h i s s k u l l and several r i b s . A t t h i s point I thought I had b e t t e r leave town f o r awhi l e as he had some mean friends. I l e f t town and s t a r t e d west without any money whatsoever. Within a couple of days I was nearing 1500 miles away. I s t a r t e d t o panic and was frightened of everyone. The voices and images got worse so I decided t o go back t o my own town. Unable t o get rides f o r a great distance, I s t o l e a c a r and was stopped and arrested about 90 miles from there. I received two years f o r the t h e f t and back i n t o the same scene. a f t e r nine months, I was out dMy mental s t a t e got worse and I became more aggressive. I hiked f o r 3,000 miles with no money a t a l l , l i v i n g o f f meals from truck drivers. When i n t h i s place, I hung around a drug infested area f o r a month not actually being

! 1

L1113

attached t o anyone , delivering handbills occasionally and eating a t the salvation army once a day. Then one morning for no reason I just headed back. I hadn't committed any crime except using drugs and staying that way for awhile. My loneliness a t e a t me but I just couldn't be with anyone. I was not attracted t o anyone and no one seemed t o notice me. On the s t r e e t s again, I started dealing small quantities of drugs and again f i t into something. I then became very violent, looking for fights and hurting people. Guns seemed t o make me important; my belief i n satan and even that I was satan became more real. I now f e l t that it was crucial to k i l l someone because my failure t o do so would mean my own death. My violent acts got worse as I started beating people badly. The day finally came when I met someone and I chose him for more than one reason. F i r s t I was very broke and he asked me to s e l l him a quantity of drugs that I didn't have. Along with t h i s I f e l t that it was time f o r me t o k i l l someone or my own death was next. The world seemed to be pushing me i ~ l oa Coiiiei-; t r-yifig i_n destrny ze. When I go the person alone I shot him and went home. I spent the money on Christmas presents f o r my younger brothers and s i s t e r s . Actually it wasn't a large amount of money but I thought it was a fortune a t the time. I didn' t even consider being arrested o r caught although many people were aware that I did it. Even a t the time of my arrest I thought that the satanic powers would protect meand I was, or f e l t , totally unafraid. Even a f t e r my sentence of l i f e it did not bother me. I t took about a year for it t o sink in and by t h i s time I was i n a maximum security prison. I was neglecting a l l forms of authority a t that time. I wouldn't bend t o the prison or t o the prisoners. I wasn' t liked by anyone; as a matter of fact, some of the prisoners were quite outspoken about their hate for me as I wouldn't be part of the cliques o r go along with them. I was very frightened but I s t i l l wouldn't have any part of it. Why I don't know, but it may have been self-destruction. My fear grew and an attempt was t o k i l l me or a t least wound me. I didn't get hurt badly but I became very afraid - so the world seemed t o have won i t s quest t o destroy me. Believe me, there i s no pain, physical or otherwise, that can bend or hurt a person l i k e t h i s . I f e l t that I mst k i l l myself t o get r i d of the unbearable fear, so I slashed my wrists several times and waited t o bleed to death. The blood gushed out f o r awhile and a guard making his rounds discovered me - not that I t r i e d to conceal it. I was taken to the hospital and then t o the hole for the night. In the morning I decided not t o return t o the population and asked t o be put i n segregation. I s t i l l f e l t alone but a l o t safer. I cried myself t o sleep many nights and f e l t sorry for myself and for the person I'd killed. I decided that i f I was going t o live, my l i f e must change my mind needed t o be educated and t o mature. I sought help from psychologists who taught me f i r s t t o r e l a . I decided t o s t a r t being honest with myself and up front with others. This took a great deal of work, especially facing myself. Then a t the insistence of a classification officer, I took courespondence courses. I only had a grade eight education and f e l t very stupid a t f i r s t .

In f a c t , I f e l t t h a t t h i s course would be a failure..another on my l i s t . To my surprise my f i r s t mark was very good and so were a l l t h a t followed. I s t a r t e d t o f e e l b e t t e r about myself. I spent many hours, months and years contemplating l i f e thinking of the importance of myself and others, r e a l izing t h a t we a r e a l l equal, some with more problems than others as a r e s u l t of t h e i r environment or happenihgs i n t h e i r l i v e s . I completed my high schooling and my trade as well. I have become an individual now with self-respect and the respect 01 others. I have manv times f e l t grief because of my crime and the crime I suffered leading t&it. I am suEe t h a t my remors; w i l l pass. That I havc gained so much understanding and inner peace because of t h i s i s sad t o rne , as the p r i c e was not, nor could ever be, worth it. For the f i r s t time ever, I know what love and sharing is. I have a fami 1y t h a t has become my l i f e - My wife and my son have given my l i f e mean ing . To share everything with them is my only desire, besides being certain i n d o i n g so t h a t they a r e hamv and comfortable. In I wishLib leave you with something t o think about. I am s u w t h a t you w i l l a c t accordingly. I think t h a t we have a responsibility t o 0111. children t o make sure t h a t they do not end up i n any part of my story. just taking an i n t e r e s t i n our young children, by spending a few dollars l e s s on armaments o r the resulting end of neglect, and applying it i n our grade schools; t o search out children who have problems before they bccomc. the problems - and care for them - instead a- -f t- e- -r they have k i l l e d or been killed. By educating parents on how not t o neglect children and t o watch abuse o f children. I think t h a t i f we become t h a t responsible our society w i l l become a welcome place t o l i v e and our j a i l s eventually w i l l be empty. Thi s is the goal; not f o r them t o continue as multi-million dollar businesses, causing p a r t i a l acceptance of the sickness of crime instead of curing i t . Thank you.

...

FRCM WATER DOES ALL LIFE BEGIN

A more precious substance would be impossible t o name without r e ferring t o s p i r i t u a l i t y . To obtain psycho-spiritual parallelism the kulakundalinii is awakened by need; the need f o r consciousness of the Infinite. Water f o r Life - i n the beginning purity is axiomatic, but the evolution of consciousness is s u l l i e d by accoutrements of humans' pnisnns. Fiow, -cne permanence of change Water is r e a l i t y i n i t s essence. Entropy i s the natural dissolution of systems i n t o chaos. How apropos t h a t Water f o r Life is the theme - in perpetuity - t o celebrate CRAB Park being - j u s t being. S p i r i t u a l evolution i s what everybody, and I mean ever bod hangs around on Earth &:hanges here can be understood, but only i f we don't ignore the s p i r i t u a l cripples and t h e i r sewage angst pollution, greed, master/slaves The Volunteers, c a p i t a l 'V': musicians, poets, cooks 6 b o t t l e washers..even philosophers; givers a l l because they're Not bought and paid for. Moral - money, looks, t a l e n t , fame, position and i n t e l l i gence aren't everything! Water is the Creator's Key t o the secret of l i f e - nothing ignored, the lowest washed f i r s t and nurtured t o enhance f e r t i l i t y and the weak grow strong. The g i f t is the blessing of the giver. From water does a l l l i f e begin. '

WKTER far LIFE

A gorgeous day i n the Park, birds and people and dogs and speakers.. as many as seven l i v e bands t o sing and play. .delicious salmon and potatoes, even watermelon and icecream cones! A s a video, the scene would be very a t t r a c t i v e but of course a dubbed sound track would be needed to eliminate what was said. Seems that the elimination of the a t grade crossing a t the foot of Columbia S t . added t o the number of participants i n the annual Water ror Life Festival who didn't come. Ihat 's right, did not. Part of a day i n the park is being able t o scoot t o a s t o r e for a s o f t drink or a t r e a t . . . but as Don Larson and Geoff McMurty and Sue Harris said, the access is s t i l l being fought for. The people were there t o just have a good time nevertheless, so the following was penned.

...

BY PAUL TAYLOR

??Y-

/ STEVENS

with tender devotion your l i p s have k i s s e d t h e ' b u t t e r f l y f s wings Fall F a l l dons i t s c o l o u r e d c l o a k With b e a u t y r a d i a n t b e f o r e t h e s t o r m . A l l c r e a t u r e s heed t h e message, Slowly withdraw w i t h i n t h e i r s o u l s , Search deeply f o r t h e i r worth And dream o f t h i n g s t o come.

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A Clanfs man lament How do I long f o r thee me beloved. Thee t h a t hast y i t l e f t thy wight's influence, t o t t y a s be yer not y i t f o r g i t , l e s t yer be groggy with the engorgement of t o t t y things.

Come back t o me l a s s i e , f o r without thee I am l e s s 3tty pup's yelp i n a muttonls eye. ldsword t o defend thv honour~-

chari.smutic old w i t c k d o c t b r s tc t h e pope s l i p s p o i s o n

appear on balconys it]

the worlds c a p i t a l s

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i n blue s u i t s

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sun~qlasses

to his rival

ik the p r i m e minister

buys o f f t h e s e x q u e e n

his a c e

~ ~ y i n tph-a t they HOPE

% t h e premier plays

they do not h a v e t o U S F

t h c i r t e r r a i b l c weapons

% t h e mayor r u b b e r s t a m p s r e a l e s t a t e

the CIA sorts out targets

B ,jesus demaridn you a c c e p t

they

disappear i n s i d e

t h e edd o f t h e world

1eadint; t o h i s r c s u r r e c t , e d k i n ~ ~ d o ronf c a p i t a l i s t s u c c e s s t h a L n e v e r a happen:; d i r e c t.or:: i n the sky

reprinted from THE RIVERVIEW REPORTER

My opinion of institutionaliz,ation is t h a t each patient who becomes institutionalized suffers from dehumanization and is depersonalized t o the level of a thing (non- human) . With the type of treatment that the patient receives in an i n s t i t u tion, t o c a l l it c i v i l i z e d and humane is absurd, facetious and m i s guided. The patient i s t o l d everything during his/her waking hours by the s t a f f ; it i s as i f the pati e n t has no mind o r individuality and is being programmed l i k e a robot o t computer. Any individuality shown amongst all t h i s conformity and rMimentation i s punished severely. For a patient t o s t a y t h e i r own person is a miracle. How can any patient f i g h t t h i s depersonalization and dehumanizat i o n from happening? In the d a i l y routine, i n s t i t u t i o n grind wears a person down i n mind, body and s p i r i t . When a person i s admitted t o an institution..they become j u s t a numC C Z S ~ G ~ Llr, V ~3 52r, S ~ Z ~ L S V I~r long l i n e . In t h i s vicious process of i n s t i t u t i o n a l i z a t i o n , many patients sink deeper into a morass of despair as there i s no letup of punitive treatment! 'I'he punishment meted out is i n no way j u s t i f i a b l e or reasonable and does not help a patient residing i n an i n s t i t u t i o n whoisconsistentlybuffettedby s t a f f . A patient f e e l s i n a low and dark mood, with loneliness and despair, hurt and deeply wounded within t h e i r innerself, by the treatment which i s unceasing u n t i l death o r discharge.

A patient loses his/her s e l f o r identity; suffers loss of privacy and l o s s of freedom and, even more, l o s s of self-esteem a t being incarcerated in an i n s t i t u t i o n . The four walls of any i n s t i t u t i o n , a r e coloured grey and gloomy f o r anyone locked up and isolated froni the world and from t h e i r former l i f e . A patient becomes i n s t i t u tionalized because of the i n d i f f e r ence and ignorance of the s t a f f who l e t it happen without trying t o prevent it. I n s t i t u t i o n a l i z a t i o n could be prevented by not withholding from the patient t h e i r i n t r i n s i c and integral individuality and i f there wasn't the same old monotonous, d a i l y routine. I believe that every day should be different. A patient loses themself while going through the motions of living and becomes engulfed in misery during the daily grind. The patient is consumed and de* oured by the i n s t i t u t i o n which is &iii~i?ii& : ~ t kid, i f i~perssna: and the opposite of a home l i f e environment. The patient has nothing of t h e i r former s e l f over the years i n the institution..becoming a hollow s h e l l t h a t ages, withers and dies. I s t h i s the r i g h t thing t o do - t o keep human beings i n such places and away from the chance t o l i v e product i v e , contributive and f u l l l i v e s ? I think t h i s i s a crime of great magnitude and inhumanity i n f l i c t e d on inmates i n an i n s t i t u t i o n o r i n any .institutional setting.

By MORGANA MONTAGUE

police say shelter lacking-Vancouver police say they're running out of places to house mentally i l l persolis picked up for creating dislurballces in the downtown east side. insp. Ken Iliggins, head of Team Three, which covers the downtown east side, says the last place for such persons is a jail cell. "In this area, we have a population of about 400 people with a history of mental illness. Occasionally, they have severe crises which involve us, :;kc: iiehiifig tiiaiurhanr~sfir IPB$-

NEWSpoetry

Buckley said the government-fint THE UMBELLA anced Strathcoha team works with 11 several emergency facilities such as OF A DEAD MAN The Lookout, Triage (run by St. James Social Services) qnd the city- Thus benefitted by death, 4: run Cordova House to deal with per- I pause to consider 4 sons with emotional problems o r inheritance. people who are destitute. It's tattered edges Buckley said he and Higgins plan flapping to meet shortly with medical officials at Vancouver General Hospital in the watered I to discuss a solution to the prob- Left as unintentionally lem. as our arrival in l i f e . 9 ~Joseph . NGG~C, t& h"spiiai's \ assessment unit director, could not UNDER AN I-JMHELLA be reached for comment. Higgins said khen police receive OF DECEIT complaints about people experienc- ~h~ ~ ~ ~ said, d l ~ ~ d ing "a severe mental crisis" the suspects are taken to hospitals for He did not give notice. Technically I cannot 1 assessments. I "But police units sometimes end return his security deposit.. I up wandering the Lower Mainland though one should looking for hospitals to take these people. That ties up a unit there and present Written Notice it translates into a problem on the of intent to die. ) road for police - short-staffing," UNDER ?HE Higgins said. Dr. Barry Morrison,the provincial OF A DEAD MAN health ministry's director of adult and acute care services for mental The hooker on the corner health, said "top priority" is being will drown given to people within the jail sysin a shower of tem who need psychiatric c a r e Awaits the arrival under the Mental Health Act. He said the problem police are of the night's first trick, facing has "come up before and it's & 1 I m p l y walk; something we have to look at.. .. the howledge, We're not sure how much bigger the That umbrellas offer problem is than it is right now." Morrison said a mental health no protection report expected to address issues And anyone that I should raise such as "what kind of community above my head care facilities are needed for what would surely be kind of patients," is to be completed ?he mbrella of a dead man. by the end of the year.

ing threats," Higgins said. "I'm not advocating reinstitutionalization for these people, but one essential quality of treatment is that it b e continual. The police don't mmd dr~vlngthese people to hospitals, as long as there is some place for them to go. There should be more local ullits available. JWice are the first to say we should not lock UP mentally lroubled suspects." Ralph Buckley, director of the S t r a t h ~ o n aMental Health Team, said the shorlage of acute psychiatric emergency beds in Vancouver is heading into its "sixth or eighth month of crisis." Buckley estimated at least 20 to 30 ~ m w l ea month are affected by the shortage of beds. The city's major psychiatric eniergency facility, the Vancouver Genural +pita1 pswhiatric assessment unit. 1s being forced to occasionally turn away patients because all 15 of its beds are occupied. When beds are full, patients are diverted to other hospitals throughout the Lower Mainland. Buckley said: "If a person is mentally committed, there shodd,be a place where they can find securlty or asylum, in the correct sense of the word, until such time as it's (the ill- The Vancouver Sun* Tuesday, Aug. 25, 1987 ness) in abeyance. "We can deal with ongoing problems but when people are getting committed the community can't handle it."

nru

Tom Lewis

owntown eastside edt~mestory

Once upon a time there was a ' beautiful planet - her rivers, ' lakes, clouds, a i r , earth, rocks and t r e e s were clean - her skin was a l i v e - the roots of her h a i r . were entwined with the galaxy. Earth was the happiest of planets until..one day..there appeared on ! her surface the ~ v i hOne f

Shrugs i n the City By Claudius Ivan Planid The newcomer from a f a r c i t y meets shrugs a s he s t r o l l s the busy s t r e e t s a t the core of the new c i t y thickly populated. Where is the hospital here? He meets shrugs. Where i s the employment here? He meets shrugs. Where i s the college here? He meets shrugs. Where is the high here? He meets shrugs. Where is the o f f i c e of the MP here? He meets shrugs. Where is the o f f i c e of the MLA here? He meets shrugs.

The Evil One took charge of the world he was very smart a t t r a ding p a r t s of the Earth's body f o r other parts. He became the business genius of a l l time and could finance gov-

...

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--------WCCL~UUII~ I G a c a l

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energy, etc. Atomic arsenals stretched out over the Earth, fuelled by conc r e t e mazes where the Earth's people were kept counting the money he paid them, and responding t o h i s new work of a r t - advertising. Advertising was the a r t form of every businessman everywhere, a l l over the planet an1 a l l t h i s happened subtly, with grace, w i t and charm. In a very friendly and c i v i l i z e d manner, the business of living in h e l l was constructed. TORA

...

I .

LII.

Where is the swimming pool here? He meets shrugs. Where is the ice-skating rink here? He meets shrugs. The newcomer from a f a r c i t y meets shrugs as he s t r o l l s the busy s t r e e t s a t the core -C

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The Follower By Claudius Ivan Planidin Walking home l a t e I knew I was being followed, I turned quickly i n menace t o confront my own shadow.

TAKE BACK THE NIGHT. BUDGET versus

CRAB KIDS Sun City Hall Bureau Vancouver social planning director Max Beck has recommended against a $500 grant towards a children"-day event at adowntown eastcido --"--. foatival "--" -.

The Createa ~ e a~valiabie l rreacn society had asked for the money, saying that a recent survey has showed more children dre moving into the area and more facilities and events are needed for them. "We are not aware that any money, has gonelor such events in our community;rather city money hasgone to three large post-Expofestivals," sqys CRAB president Don Larson in a lttter asking to address the issue at Tuesday's council meeting. "This is the only festival in the downtown eastside aimed at local people this year." In hisreport Beckdeniesthedowntown eastside got no money this year for community events, sayingthe city gave $1,500 to the Chinese Benevolent Association and $2,500 to the Powell Street Festival Society. His r e p o r t notes t h a t the Aug. 29 c h i l dren's day event .would be part of t h e Water for ' Life Festivd in the recently opened Portside Park (also known as CRAB park) at .thefoot of Main. Beck says the festivals' total bud-, get is $1,010 and projected revenues are $1,395, leaving a potential profit of $385.

On September 18th, women all over Canada will be protesting male violence against us. Take Back The Night is an annual action organized by members of the Canadian Organization of Sexual Assault Centres and by women's groups in the United States and around the world. This year, in Vancouver, we will meet at Granville and Broadway at ~ . n n, ,

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We are protesting violence against us in the streets, in our homes, everywhere. 1 in 4 women will be raped sometime in our lives 1 in 8 of us will be sexuall; assaulted before the age of 18 At least 1 woman in 10 is battered by the man we live with a woman is raped every 17 minutes in Canada, Often these assaults on us are by men we know and trust.... our husbands, boyfriends, fathers, other family members, doctors, employers, fiends, teachers. We are angry and demand that men stop harassing, raping, beating and sexually assaulting us. We are not going to live in fear. We will Take Back The Night, from men, September 18th. DEIRDRE MAULTSAIII

Vancouver Rape Relief & w o m b ' s Shelter 77 E. 20th Avenue, Vancouver, B. C., V5V 1L7 872-8212

counqiI kicksin News Services

Vancouver city council last night approved a $500 grant for a Children's Day for downtown eastside kids this Saturday - even though\ the city's social planning department said there was no money in the cultural budget for the event. Provjnce

J:lrU\Y WEDNESIIAY

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Wednesdpy, AUQ. 26,.

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HELP

DICRA can help you with:

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any welfare problems

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- > E R A . IIAS BEEN SERVING THE DOWNTOWN EASTSIDE FOR 1 3 YEARS FREE

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- donations accepled.

City info s t a f f c a n ' t accept donations f o r thi s N e w s l e t t e r , s o i f you c a n h e l p , f i n d Paul Taylor and h e ' l l g i v e you a r e c e i p t .

Thanks everybody.