The Onion magazine - March 2015

Page 1

March 2015

SOUNDS OF SPRING INSIDE: JO WHEATLEY’S CAKE TOWER A SPADE WITH A DIFFERENCE THINGS TO DO WITH BEER

on t ni r Se a p a IN Com erpill Ds W ide at s C C s ry ry nd nt ng ege u u L Co H A ery OW V N A


Executive Coach Trisha Robinson FCIPD & Qualified Trisha Robinson FCIPD & Qualified Executive Managing Director -­‐ Y’s W ords Ltd Coach Managing irector -­‐ Y’s Wm ords Ltd and consultancy, or Talk to Trisha about coaching D and mentoring, ediation to abnd e ymour sparring partner a–nd consultancy, or Talk to Trisha about csimply oaching entoring, mediation You asimply nd your b usiness w ill n otice t he d ifference. to be your sparring partner –

You and your business will notice the difference. ‘Difficulties Mastered are Opportunities Won’

‘Difficulties Mastered are Opportunities Won’ Trisha Robinson FCIPD, Profile

Trisha Robinson FCIPD, Profile Sectors

Sectors • Travel • IT/Telecoms Travel • Multi national IT/Telecoms • Sales/R&D/ Multi national • Manufacturing Sales/R&D/ Manufacturing • Scale 10 Billion euros • -­‐Scale 10 Billion euros global -­‐ global • Not for profit • Not for profit

Roles

Roles • VP HR Global

Countries Ops • VP HR Global •Countries Strategic OPps rojects DirectorProjects • Strategic •Director Head of Europe • •Head f irector Europe HRD oD • •HRD Director Global Project • Global Project Management •Management NED • •NED Coach & Mentor • Coach & Mentor

Experience

Global functional Experience l eadership Global functional leadership • Direct &Virtual teams

• Global & European • Direct &Virtual teams ER • M+As divestments • Global & E&uropean ER • M+As & b duilds ivestments • New & closures (factories sites) • New builds && c losures (factories & sites) • Joint Ventures/Strategic • Joint Ventures/Strategic Partnerships Partnerships • Global Restructuring • Global Restructuring • Engagement & Comms • Engagement & Comms

Contact risha ffor or ccoaching, oaching, entoring, leadership mediation Contact TTrisha mm entoring, leadership mediation and and consultancy. consultancy. Mobile +447802690907 Mobile : :+ 447802690907 Email : :t risha.robinson50@btinternet.com trisha.robinson50@btinternet.com Email

Linkedin –– PPlease nd mm ention this event in yin our invitation Linkedin lease cconnect onnect aa nd ention this event your invitation Trisha Robinson via vLia inkedIn Trisha Robinson LinkedIn

“ II vvalue alue TTrisha intuitive, values driven leadership, coaching & & “ risha ffor or hher er insightful, insightful, intuitive, values driven leadership, coaching consultancy. S he i s a m aster o f e motional e ngineering a nd W ise ( Y’s) W ords – – consultancy. She is a master of emotional engineering and Wise (Y’s) Words Especially times of ocf hallenge & o&pportunity” – – Especially in in times challenge opportunity” Ric Piper, Senior Independent Director, Matchtech Group plc

Ric Piper, Senior Independent Director, Matchtech Group plc


Thank goodness we seem at last to be crawling out from underneath another of those awful, muddy and wet, but not very cold winters. I must admit I don’t like them at all with their endless days of dreary, flat, grey light. I prefer bright skies and a few frosts every time. But clocks forward later this month as spring beckons. Advertising and Editorial:

01797 253668 Publication date: 1st of the month Entries for Noticeboard email: noticeboard@onionpublishing.co.uk To send editorial/advertising material email: carol@onionpublishing.co.uk For advertising sales enquiries email: advertising@onionpublishing.co.uk www.onionmagazine.co.uk Twitter: @OnionMag1

The Onion magazine is published by Onion Publishing Limited The Studio at Friars Cote Farm, Crockers Lane, Northiam, East Sussex TN31 6PY. Editor & Publisher: Carol Farley Director & Publisher: Nicholas Farley Contributors: B. Dalziell, Jessica Harding, Jack Hebden, Penny Kitchen, Beth Otway, Andrea Pinnington. Print: Buxton Press

Designed and produced for Onion Publishing Limited by Vantage Publishing Limited, Godalming, GU7 2AE.

March 2015

Letters and emails are still coming in following Nick’s article about eating out which appeared in the January issue. It clearly touched a nerve because, apart from the letters, it has also been one of the first things that people have raised with me whenever we meet. I suspect that this month’s Sounding Off (page 8), from BD, will strike a similar chord too. I completely agree with what he says: why should we pay for expensive certificates to prove that our cars are roadworthy when the councils and the Government do not, in return, have to prove that their roads are carworthy? I’d be jolly interested to hear from any council official (anonymously if you like) about why they seem to be doing nothing to maintain the roads around here, or anywhere else come to that. Thank you all for the kind and supportive things you continue to say about The Onion, we really do appreciate it. Please also let us know too when something which has appeared in the Free Noticeboard has resulted in a successful event or money being raised for a good cause; it completes the picture for us. And, as you know, the magazine is funded by advertising and it would help us if you could always mention The Onion when you reply to any advertisement so that our advertisers know where their response is coming from. And finally we have another exclusive discount for you this month – 10% off Bulldog garden tools. See Jack Hebden on page 28. Carol Farley, Editor COMPETITIONS Due to the technical and human errors we experienced in December and January there are no competition winners to be announced this month. All seems to have been fixed now and we have been receiving email entries for the February edition at the time of going to press. All winners for the February competition will be announced in the April issue. We hope you will continue to enter to win the prizes in our fabulous giveaways. The Onion magazine

3


www.onionmagazine.co.uk

COUNTRY Markets EVERY TUESDAY 09:00 to 11:00 Wittersham Wittersham Village Hall, The Street EVERY WEDNESDAY 10:00 to 13:00 Rye Farmers’ Market Strand Quay, Rye, East Sussex, TN31 7AY EVERY THURSDAY 09:00 to 12noon Rolvenden Farmers’ Market, St Mary’s Church, Rolvenden, TN18 5PN Rolvenden Village Hall, Maytham Road, Rolvenden, TN17 4ND EVERY FRIDAY 10:00 to 12noon Brede Brede Village Hall, Cackle Street, Brede, East Sussex, TN31 6DX

Contents 5 6 8

Noticeboard What’s on in your local community

Sounds of the Spring Sounding Off

Road Rage

10 Amazing Uses Things to do with Beer and Bi-Carb

12 Flick off! Marbles in Battle

14 Moving later in life 18 22 24 26

Lamb House, Rye Daffodils A Good Book Eating out Sahebs, Northiam

EVERY FRIDAY 10:00 to 11:30 Rye Community Centre, Conduit Hill, Rye

28 March Gardening with Jack Hebden 32 Food

EVERY FRIDAY 09.30 to 11.30 Tenterden (Formerly the WI Market) St Mildred’s Church Hall, Church Road, Tenterden TN30 7NE

36 Walk

EVERY FRIDAY 07.00 to 15.30 Tenterden Market Square, behind Savannah Coffee Shop, Tenterden & Tenterden High Street from 08:30 to 14.30

39 Win

Jo Wheatley’s Wedding Tower Pluckley, Little Chart & Egerton

38 Business Cards Small ads for trades and services Enter our giveaway competitions

SATURDAY 21 MARCH 09:00 to 12:30 Heathfield Co-Op car park, 110 High Street, Heathfield TN21 8JD SATURDAY 28 March 10:00 to 12noon Brightling Village Hall, Brightling 4

The Onion magazine

The contents of this magazine are protected by copyright and nothing can be reprinted without prior permission of the publisher. The publisher has tried to ensure that all information is accurate but does not take any responsibility for any mistakes or omissions. We take no responsibility for advertisements printed in the magazine or loose inserts that might be delivered alongside it. © Onion Publishing Limited.

onionmagazine.co.uk


Noticeboard... EXHIBITIONS … CONCERTS … FETES & FAIRS … CHARITY EVENTS ... THINGS TO DO

Don’t forget, it’s FREE to have an entry in this section if you are a charity, club, society or non-profitmaking venture, or are promoting a charity event. The deadline for you to send information to noticeboard@onionpublishing.co.uk for April’s Noticeboard is 6th March. Edward Burra – A Rye View Every day until 7 June This exhibition forms part of an ‘In Focus’ series in which a work from the Jerwood Collection is the starting point for a small-scale show. Burra’s ‘The Churchyard, Rye’ will act as the starting point, having been bought and added to the collection in 2010. Highlights include ‘The Harbour, Hastings’ which depicts Hastings’s lively fishing industry and a rare portrait of Burra (c1930s loaned by the National Portrait Gallery). The Jerwood Gallery, Rock-aNore Road, Hastings.

9>

Northiam School. With two courts they can ensure a good mix so everyone gets a challenging game, but they need more players. It is a social club, so all abilities are welcomed. £3 a session, no joining fee. Go along or call Karen on 01797 253375. Venue: Pretious Sports Hall, Northiam. ‘Contact the Elderly’ Tea Parties The Herne Bay, Whitstable and Canterbury group of Contact the Elderly are planning tea parties on the first Sunday of every month throughout 2015. Sunday afternoon can often be a particularly lonely time for the elderly and the tea parties have proved enjoyable and rewarding for the volunteers and the elderly. If you would like to join in or volunteer as a driver or host visit Contact the Elderly on www.contact-the-elderly.org.uk.

Rolvenden Film Club In April this will change to a membership club and will show eight films throughout the year. An annual membership fee of £15 will allow the member to see 4 films during the year (including one free film) or £30 will allow the member to see all 8 films during the year (including two free films). All proceeds from the Film Club will be going to help maintain the Village Hall for the future benefit of the Village. Pick up an application from Jan Gambier at Rolvenden Village Market on Thursday mornings.

Rolvenden Photographic competition Between now and September 2015 Rolvenden Village Hall will be running a Photographic Competition for local people. Entrants are invited to enter a picture they have taken of Rolvenden or The Layne. Views, wildlife, events or other local subjects will be considered, from any time in the past up to the end of August 2015 when the competition closes. After the judging by the villagers at an exhibition in the Village Hall, the winning pictures will be turned into a full colour 2016 calendar which will be sold with all profits going to the Village Hall Funds. For full details of the competition and a free Entry Pack please contact Graham Tiltman on 01580 241006 or email grahamtiltman@gmail.com.

Play Badminton in Northiam Every Friday 20:00 to 22:00 A small group of friends meets each Friday evening to play badminton in the Pretious Sports Hall attached to

Butterflies in the Glasshouse at RHS Garden Wisley Until Sunday 8 March Banish the winter blues with a visit to the tropical display of exotic butterflies and plants from far off shores in

YOUR COMMUNITY NOTICE BOARD IS FOR LOCAL EVENTS AND INFORMATION. TO FEATURE HERE FOR FREE, PLEASE EMAIL US AT NOTICEBOARD@ONIONPUBLISHING.CO.UK

Delivered by the Royal Mail to 23,000 local homes every month in Appledore, Benenden, Brede, Brightling, Broad Oak, Burwash, Camber, Cranbrook, Cripps Corner, Etchingham, Hawkhurst, Hurst Green, Icklesham, John’s Cross, Northiam, Peasmarsh, Robertsbridge, Rye, Salehurst, Sandhurst, Staplecross, Tenterden, Udimore, Winchelsea, Wittersham and surrounding villages. March 2015

The Onion magazine

5


Sounds of the Spring

Nature writer Andrea Pinnington gives some tips on what to listen out for this spring. It’s January as I write this and the days are starting to lengthen and already the birds are becoming more vocal. Working from home can result in easy distractions and the robin that sings outside my window has already claimed a lot of my time. Being freelance means that sadly I don’t get a regular paycheck sent out to me at the end of every month. However, I am reassured by the fact that experiments have indicated that bird song makes a measurable and physiological improvement in a person. So whatever my salary lacks, the distracting robin and his feathered garden cohorts are making me happier. Though this may sound rather flippant, there is a lot of truth in the relationship between bird song and positive mental attitudes. In 2010, recordings of birds including blackbirds, greenfinches, robins and song thrushes were played at the Alder Hey Hospital in Liverpool to calm children during injections, surgery and other stressful procedures. Learning bird song is quite a lot like learning a new language. It requires enthusiasm and some dedication. I am in the kindergarten of bird song life. Level one in the metaphorical Oxford Bird Song Reading Tree, but it gives me indescribable joy to be able to know just a handful of the birds that are busy living and singing around me.

A beginner’s guide to bird song Based on the RSPB’s list of the 10 most common garden birds, here are some tips on what to listen out 6

The Onion magazine

for and how to commit the sounds to memory. It’s not that easy and reminds me of a guide to the Greek language that ran “Learn Greek in 25 years or your money back.” House Sparrow

If you hear a group of birds that sound as though they are having a good gossip, then it is likely that you are listening either to a flock of sparrows or goldfinches. If they are hidden away in a hedge, then I can guarantee they are house sparrows. There has been a sharp decline in sparrow numbers over recent years – up to 60% in parts of the UK between 1994 and 2004 alone. However, numbers seem to be on the increase so hopefully its friendly chirrup will be a familiar sound again. Blue Tit

This is another busy bird that spends a lot of time around humans. If you put up a bird feeder in your garden, then this acrobatic ball of yellow and blue will certainly be a regular visitor along with its brother, sister, aunt, uncle and others besides. Though they are small, they have surprisingly large broods with anything up to 14 eggs. Their song consists of a few high-pitched notes and then ends with a trill but it is not particularly distinctive. More noticeable is its scolding alarm call, which it uses to warn off potential predators. onionmagazine.co.uk


Starling

The starling is an intelligent bird and an extremely good mimic. If you can tell which other birds it is copying, then you are reaching the A-level of the bird song world. For the beginner, listen out for bill clicks, whistles and high-pitched squeaks. Starlings can also imitate sounds such as car alarms and telephone rings, though in this day of numerous ring tones and silent vibrations, this is less common than it used to be. Blackbird

If you need convincing that bird song lifts the spirits, then keep an ear out for the clear, musical tones of the blackbird delivered from a high open perch such as the top of a tree. The sound is like an incredibly musical person whistling a ditty. Blackbirds also have a very distinctive squawk as they break cover from bushes. Once you know the sound, you will hear it everywhere. Wood Pigeon

These large portly looking birds are easy to identify by the white patches on their necks and wings and their waddling gait. It is the quantity and weight of their feathers that apparently gives them their rotund appearance (something I blame my jumpers for as well). Their mellow cooing is strangely compared to the phrase take toooo cooos, Taffy. Wood pigeons also make a distinctive clap as they fly off out of trees and bushes. Chaffinch

The chaffinch has a large range of vocal sounds none of which is particularly easy to describe. The male marks its territory during the spring and summer and seems rarely to pause for breath, repeating its song over and over again. It starts off slowly with a few notes, which then build up and end in a bright, silvery flourish. Bill Oddie once said that if you hear a bird and you don’t know what it is, then it’s probably a great tit. However, I think this applies just as well to chaffinches. March 2015

Goldfinch

The village gossip that looks as though it is dressed in a smart uniform, the goldfinch is a popular visitor to bird feeders especially if you put out nyger seed. Its tinkling song is a high-pitched series of trills delivered throughout the year but with added gusto in the spring. Goldfinches are known collectively as charms, which, with their colourful feathers and pretty song, seems to be exactly the right word. Great Tit

On my bird feeder I get three birds from the tit family: great tits, blue tits and coal tits. There is a definite pecking order and the great tit sits firmly at the top. It is the only one of the three with a big black stripe down its front and the males with the bolder stripes are the most successful ones. It makes a variety of sounds but the easiest one to pick out by ear is the one that sounds like teacher-teacher. Collared Dove

This bird only arrived in the UK in 1955 and has since made a sizeable impact on our bird population. It is much more delicate in appearance than the chunky woodpigeon and its song is an endless repetition of three syllables: coo-cooo-cu. Take note, the woodpigeon’s coo has five syllables! Robin

Last but not least, the robin – the quintessential garden bird that seems so cheery and upbeat but is actually fiercely territorial. Its long warbling song is one of the first to be heard in the morning and often the last in the evening. In the days of street lighting, it sometimes gets confused and sings throughout the night as well. Like the blackbird, it is a clear and tuneful song often delivered from a showy open perch. FIND OUT MORE Andrea Pinnington and Caz Buckingham’s new book The Little Book of Garden Bird Songs is out on 1st March. See this month’s A Good Book on page 24.

The Onion magazine

7


Soundingoff Road Rage Right, I’ve done my bit: I’ve driven more carefully; I’ve obeyed the speed limits (more or less); I’ve taken The Institute of Advanced Motorists and RoSPA tests and passed; I don’t drink and drive and I’ve thought ‘bike’ until I’m dizzy. The car manufacturers have certainly done their bit too. Cars are safer, much safer, than they were only a few years ago: car bodies are now designed to protect us in an accident rather than crush us, and apart from the obvious safety belts and air bags there are all sorts of other ways in which the design of modern cars makes them so much safer than anything that has gone before. Tyres and brakes are good examples of the enormous progress that has been made by the automotive industry. Modern tyres are amazing, and when compared with the clunky bits of gripless rubber which adorned my first car they are little short of miraculous. Modern brakes are equally mind-boggling. Anti-lock-braking (ABS) is now taken for granted, but it wasn’t long ago when such sophistication was only fitted to the landing wheels of jet aircraft. The result of all this driver ‘awareness’ and engineering skill is that accidents, thousands of accidents, have been prevented. Did you know that in 1934, 80 years ago, 231,000 people were injured on our roads; in 2013 the figure was 182,000. Yet in 1934 there were less than 2½ million vehicles on the road whereas in 2013 there were

35 million. We are driving better, and we are driving better cars, vans, buses, lorries – better everything. Good for us. We shouldn’t rest on our laurels but it’s time we acknowledged this success because we have achieved it without any help from ‘them’. My question, and the point of this rant, is this: when are ‘they’, the Government – local and national – going to join in? As usual they expect us to do it all: they spend heaven knows how much on advertising exhorting us to do this and not to do that but I wonder when it’s going to occur to them that they too actually need to do something. We can all drive better and manufacturers can make better cars but we can do nothing about the roads on which we drive; the roads are Government property and they are in an awful state around here and everywhere else. How many preventable accidents have occurred because some mealymouthed, tight-fisted council pleading poverty has left an enormous pothole unrepaired? ‘They‘ are happy to spend money on speed cameras but not on road improvement or even on straightforward road repair. Speed cameras are passive things; road improvement is positive, but speed cameras earn money and so pay for themselves, and by installing them the Government can claim that it is doing something. In fact it’s doing nothing; we are the ones doing something and we’re doing it brilliantly. When are ‘they’ going to do their bit? BD If you would like to Sound Off about anything then please feel free to do that here. Send your piece to carol@onionpublishing.co.uk

8

The Onion magazine

onionmagazine.co.uk


<5

EXHIBITIONS … CONCERTS … FETES & FAIRS … CHARITY EVENTS ... THINGS TO DO

11>

the Glasshouse. If you’re lucky one might even land on you. Normal garden entry applies. Beat the queues and pre-book a time slot for weekends at www.rhs.org.uk/ wisley.

Sandhurst & District Horticultural Society welcomes Jo Arnell to talk about ‘Making a Potager’. Guests welcome for £2. For information contact Ros Maggs on 01580 850583. Venue: Old School Hall, Sandhurst.

‘Making and Mending’ at Bodiam Castle Every day in March 11:00 to 16:00 At this time of year, traditionally, the household would have been preparing for the year ahead. Listen to the medieval characters talk and discover life as it used to be. Telephone 01580 831324.

Open Mic’ Night at the Woolpack Tenterden Wednesday 4 March 20:00 The first Wednesday of every month there is an Open Mic’ Night here. If you want to perform just turn up and they’ll find a time slot for you. They also hire bands for the weekends if they hear a performance they like. So let rip! Venue: The Woolpack, High Street, Tenterden.

The Rotary Club of Cranbrook and Hawkhurst welcomes new members of either sex. They meet on Thursday evenings at around 7pm at the Great House, Hawkhurst. They tell me that Rotary is sociable as well as carrying out fundraising for local, national and international charities and good causes, so they urge you to go along to find out for yourselves. www.rotarydistrict2230.org/cranbrookandhawkhurst. Blackthorn Trust Garden and Café events in Maidstone Monday to Saturday 09:30 to 15:30 Every Saturday the Trust hosts artisan workshops. The Workshops available include needle-felting in March, April, May and June; bread making on March 28th and also in April and May; Maytime Sing which is a folk singerled singing workshop (anyone is invited to go along on May 9th) and ‘Art for Health’ most Saturdays, led by the Blackthorn’s own anthroposophical art therapist. For more info call 01622 828382 or visit www.blackthorn. org.uk or email info@blackthorn.org.uk. History walks in and around Rolvenden Every Sunday 12:30 Meet at St Mary’s Church, Rolvenden. Various local projects related to research carried out by landscape archaeologist Dr Brendan Chester-Kadwell. Enquiries – Sue Saggers on 01580 241056. ‘Making a Potager’ by Jo Arnell Wednesday 4 March 20:00

First Friday Networking in Tenterden Friday 6 March 13:00 to 14:30 Businesses of all sizes are welcome. Meet to make connections, talk about your business and find ways of helping each other. Meet like-minded people in an informal, friendly atmosphere. There’s no prior booking, no registration, no fees and no pressure. Everybody is welcome. Just buy your own drinks and food. Take along plenty of business cards and some promotional material and enjoy the relaxed atmosphere of an unstructured networking group. Meet at The White Lion, 57 High Street, Tenterden, TN30 6BD. www.firstfriday-network. co.uk. Tenterden Health Walks Friday 6 March 10:00 to 11:15 Walk leader is Jo Vos. Meet inside the Zion Baptist Church, High Street, Tenterden. It’s free, simply turn up and join in. It takes around an hour, every Friday. Tea and coffee available at the church after the walk. Telephone 0800 849 4000. Jumble Sale in Peasmarsh Saturday 7 March 10:00 to 12:00 If you are decluttering ready for Spring then take along your ‘jumble’ to the Peasmarsh Memorial Hall on Friday 6th March between 6pm and 7pm – otherwise it’s open on Saturday for you to browse and buy. Venue: Peasmarsh Memorial Hall.

STILL BUYING SUPERMARKET POTATOES? REALLY? WHEN 25kg OF OUR WHITE POTATOES COST

JUST £5?

Morghew Park Estate, Small Hythe Road, Tenterden TN30 7LR

www.gourmetpotatoes.co.uk 01580 766866

March 2015

The Onion magazine

9


Amazing USES

Discover how to do amazing things with the ordinary household products you already have in your home.

Beer

Bicarbonate of Soda

Use as a setting lotion Put life back into flat hair with some flat beer. Before you get into the shower, mix 3 tablespoons of beer in 100ml warm water. After you shampoo your hair, rub in the solution, leave it there for a couple of minutes, and then rinse it off. Is this the only way to find a six-pack in the bathroom?

Clear a clogged drain Most kitchen drains can be unclogged by pouring in 200g bicarbonate of soda followed by 200ml of hot vinegar. Give it several minutes to work and then add 1 litre of boiling water. Repeat if necessary. If you know the drain is clogged with grease, use 100g each of bicarbonate of soda and salt followed by 200ml of boiling water. Let the mixture work overnight then rinse with hot tap water in the morning.

Soften up tough meat Beer makes a great tenderiser for inexpensive cuts of stewing meat. Pour a can over the meat and let it soak for about an hour before cooking. Even better, marinate it overnight in the fridge, or empty the beer into a slow cooker with the meat.

Deodorise the dishwasher Eliminate odours inside the dishwater by sprinkling 100g bicarbonate of soda on the bottom. Get rid of food smells on your hands Chopping garlic or cleaning fish can leave an unpleasant smell on your fingers long after the job is done. Remove these smells from your hands simply by wetting them and vigorously rubbing with about 2 teaspoons of bicarbonate of soda instead of soap. The smell should wash off with the powder.

Make a trap for slugs and snails Certain garden pests (as well as some people) find beer irresistible, and slugs and snails are especially partial. If you’re having problems with these slimy invaders, bury a container, such as a clean, empty juice container cut in half lengthways, in the area where you’ve seen the pests, pour in about half a can of leftover beer and leave it overnight to make your own irresistible ‘slug pub’. This is part of an occasional series of articles on ways in which you can save time and money. They have been taken from many books and sources, including Reader’s Digest book on ‘Extraordinary Uses for Ordinary Things’.

10 The Onion magazine

Remove residue on the inside of a Thermos flask. Mix 50g bicarbonate of soda in 1 litre of water. Fill the Thermos with the solution – if necessary scrub with a bottle brush to loosen things – and let it soak overnight. Rinse clean before using. Remove stains and scratches on worktops If a kitchen worktop has become covered with stains or small knife cuts, use a paste of 2 parts bicarbonate of soda to 1 part water to ‘rub out’ most of them. For stubborn stains add a drop of chlorine bleach to the paste. Immediately wash the area with hot, soapy water to prevent the bleach from causing fading. Remove coffee and tea stains from china Don’t let murky coffee or tea stains spoil your best china. Remove the stains by dipping a moist cloth in a stiff paste of bicarbonate of soda and water and then gently rub the cups and saucers. Rinse clean, dry well and admire the effect. onionmagazine.co.uk


EXHIBITIONS … CONCERTS … FETES & FAIRS … CHARITY EVENTS ... THINGS TO DO <9 17>

Music for a March Evening in Wadhurst Saturday 7 March 19:30 A fabulous evening of rousing music to raise funds for the historic church - blues, classical, show music, traditional, hymns, folk. Sung by TopChoir Kent finalists the Royal Tunbridge Wells Orpheus Male Voice Choir with talented guest performer. Tickets £10 (£12 on the door) from Carillon Cottage, High St, Wadhurst 01892 785658 or Jean Sermon 01892 782141, email church_office@ talktalk.net. Contact telephone: 07766 313047. Venue: St Peter & St Paul Church, High Street, Wadhurst, East Sussex TN5 6AA Icklesham Craft Fair Saturday 7 March 10:00 to 14:00 Lovely locally made items, gift ideas for Mothering Sunday too. Refreshments on sale including homemade cakes, teas and coffee. Contact for the craft fairs is Wendy Hysted on 01424 814681. Venue: Icklesham Memorial Hall, in the recreation ground next to the children’s play area. Robertsbridge Village Market Saturday 7 March 10:00 to 12:00 Held on the first Saturday of each month in Robertsbridge Village Hall. The market offers a large selection of

March 2015

local fresh foods, jams and preserves, as well as many crafts, plants, pet food and refurbished furniture. Light refreshments provided by Robertsbridge WI. For more information contact Sally Pitman on 01580 881944. Spring Beach Clean at Rye Harbour Saturday 7 March 10:00 to 13:00 Look out for the first Wheatears and Sandwich Terns of the year while helping to remove the winter’s rubbish. Hot soup will be served at the end. Meet at Rye Harbour car park with work gloves if you have them. For more information contact: Lime Kiln Cottage Information Centre on 01797 227784 or email rhnroffice@sussexwt. org.uk or see the websites www.sussexwildlifetrust.org. uk/whatson or www.WildRye.info. West Gallery Music workshop, Sandhurst Saturday 7 March 10:30 to 16:00 The Marsh Warblers’ Quire invites singers and wind and string players to join them for all or part of their annual day workshop. Music and refreshments are free; take something to share for lunch if you intend to eat with them. For more information visit www.thewarblers.org. uk. Or email tonysing@unionmill.org.uk or telephone 01580 753431 to reserve a place. Venue: Sandhurst Baptist Church Hall, on the A268 about a mile east of the village.

The Onion magazine 11


Flick off! By B. Dalziell

I do apologise for the rather coarse title to this piece but it is the proper technical term for the beginning of a marbles match and I thought it as well to confront it and get you in the groove right from the…….well, from the Flick Off. You may ask why I am even writing about marbles, with or without its vulgar technicalities, and it’s because the marble season, as I’m sure you all know perfectly well, is in full swing right now. Yes, just like grouse shooting and fishing and things, playing marbles has a season. It can only be played in season, and that season began on Ash Wednesday and it ends on Good Friday. That, in turn, means that if you want to get in shape for the Grand End of Season Marbles Tourney in Battle on Good Friday, you had better be getting in some serious training now, and also choosing what you are going to wear. I’ll get to that bit in a minute. I’ve done a bit of research into this and there’s the usual old baloney about marbles going back 3000 years, 12 The Onion magazine

and the Romans and ancient Egyptians apparently played it endlessly in their limited spare time when they weren’t solving theorems and inventing just about everything else, but for us the important thing is that back in 1948, in what my daughter calls ‘black and white world’, the tradition of the Battle Marble Match began. That’s history enough for me, although it is worth mentioning the East Sussex vicar who, back in the 1800s, thought that marbles had been invented “to keep people from more boisterous and mischievous enjoyments,” during Lent. A game in which you “knuckle down” and “flick off” before engaging in “donkey drops” and “elephant stomps” doesn’t sound exactly non-boisterous does it? Anyone of a certain age will have played marbles in the school playground at primary school and then, on graduating to ‘big’ school, would have scorned such childish pleasures and concentrated on being a miniature grown-up. That’s the way it was in those black and white days. onionmagazine.co.uk


What a surprise it is, therefore, to find that on achieving grown-uphood one starts to play marbles all over again, but now it is not enough just to play marbles, you now have to play dressed up as someone else; ‘fancy dress’ is, I believe, the correct term for this extraordinary behaviour. You may have experienced it at such gatherings as ‘Vicars and Tarts’ parties and so on. Anyway ‘Fancy Dress’ is apparently a necessary part of modern day marbles and that’s why you need to decide who you are going to be when you Flick Off at Battle on Good Friday at 10 o’ clock in the morning. And don’t think you’ll get away with perhaps a funny hat because you won’t; this is serious stuff. You don’t get to look like a full sized Lego man by cutting up a bit of cardboard the night before the big game. In any case there is also an Easter Bonnet thing happening at the same time, so if you are not a marble-ist perhaps you can do something with a bonnet instead, or more accurately your children can – the Easter Bonnet competition is just for children. Pity that; I could probably make a decent bonnet. There you are then, the place to be on Good Friday is playing or watching marbles in Battle. Seems like a good way to end the marbles season, which, be honest, you didn’t even know had started. Information: To enter a marbles team or to enter the Easter Bonnet competition phone 01424 775169 or email marbles@battlechamber.org. Pictures by M. Southam and S Courtney courtesy 1066 Country Marketing

March 2015

The Onion magazine 13


Moving later in life When elderly parents need to downsize, it can be an ordeal for the whole family. Penny Kitchen talks to a woman who knows how to help from first-hand experience. Amanda Fyfe was a successful businesswoman with a young family when she realised that her parents, aged 75 and 85, needed to downsize – and needed help to do it. This presented problems for all the family members, not least because her parents lived several hours’ drive away. Both Amanda and her brother wanted to help, but spending weekends looking for suitable accommodation, and then helping her parents to get rid of a lifetime’s accumulation of possessions, took an increasing toll on family life, and on the emotions. “Mum was very fit and still worked full-time at Oxfam, but she was beginning to feel isolated and wanted to move closer to me. Dad who was that much older was beginning to slow down – but he didn’t want to move.” Finally Amanda’s parents were persuaded and she takes up the story: “I found them somewhere to live, no problem; found a buyer for their house, no problem; but the practicalities of moving them from a very large four bedroom bungalow into a little two bedroom flat were huge. I was going over every weekend. I had three stepchildren living with me, a dog, a business with 18 employees to run, and an old house which required a lot of looking after. 14 The Onion magazine

“I was driving to my parents’ every Friday evening, frantically sorting through their belongings and I was exhausted. It would literally be ‘OK, right, Mum, let’s clear this room now’. I would start and she would say ‘But Auntie Annie gave me those…’. Tempers frayed as the hours ticked by. “Oh, the guilt afterwards!” Amanda acknowledged ruefully. “It should have been an exciting time for them, but frankly they must have been glad to get rid of me on Sunday, to have five days of peace. Meanwhile my brother was making trips over to clear the garage.” Amanda had planned her parents’ move. They were going to stay with her for a week while she cleaned and sorted boxes in the flat, but in the end she had to make them move into the flat. “It was awful. It was probably the most stressful time of my life.” As I listened to Amanda recount the story, I thought of my own parents years ago – them in Canada, me in Surrey – and, despite my urging, putting off the evil day when they had to downsize. Lacking practical support, they understandably could not face the upheaval. As I was of minimal help, they could have onionmagazine.co.uk


benefitted enormously from someone like Amanda. Not the stressed and overloaded Amanda who dealt with her own mother and father’s move, but the Amanda who today, as a professional ‘senior moves manager’, can stand back from the fraught family situation and guide her elderly clients through the process. A revelation On a business trip to the States shortly after her parents’ move, Amanda was telling an associate there about the ordeal. “He said to me ‘You should talk to my wife – she got in a senior moves manager.’ “The concept of a specialist helping older people to downsize and move house was a revelation to me and I thought this is something I could do myself back in England. I’m usually calm and organised. I’ve always loved older people and felt relaxed with them – I loved visiting my grandparents and felt closer to my own parents when they got older.” Training in America through the Senior Moves Trade Association followed and Amanda reduced the time she spent at her other business in order to experience at first-hand what it would be like to move other people. “I had moved every three years because my father was in the army, so I could do that with my eyes closed, “ she explained, “but it is very different moving yourself to moving someone else.” Amanda’s father died in 2011, a turning point for her. At the age of 49, she sold her business to concentrate full-time on her new venture. Today she feels well qualified to offer good advice to others who may be facing the prospect of helping to relocate elderly relatives.

• Invite other - older - family members or friends of your parents to sit in on one of these sessions so that they don’t feel they are being bullied. • Be open and truthful with them. Unfortunately, adult children may approach the issue obliquely out of respect for mum and dad. Show them reality but at the same time show them solutions. For example, point out to them “the day is coming when one of you might have a fall – who will pick you up?” Describe all the available options – care home, sheltered accommodation, ground floor flat, etc. • Parents will capitulate if the adult children give assurances often enough that they can help them. But what if adult children can’t offer help for whatever reason? Like me, they may live far away; the chemistry/history between parents and children sometimes gets in the way; and sadly, some families are estranged. Amanda believes that this is where the American concept of Senior Moves provides a solution. You will inevitably get situations where mother might want to keep something that daughter has designated for the charity shop. Says Amanda: “Someone like me coming in can spare the time to chat about a precious possession that holds a memory for the elderly person. We act as surrogate family to them because we’ll listen to them, whereas often family members have commitments of work, children at home, etc. We give them every minute of the hours we’re with them.” And importantly, there is no emotional childparent tension.

Amanda’s advice • If you haven’t already talked to elderly parents about a move, it is essential to open up a communication channel. You may not be able to convince them at first, but you have to keep trying. And if subtlety doesn’t work, you have to sit them down and say “mum and dad, we have to have a serious conversation here.”

March 2015

The Onion magazine 15


Who do you call? Ghost busters are possibly the only services Amanda hasn’t enlisted to help her clients! She helps get services in, contacts charities, organises house and garage clearance, makes a floor plan of the new property to help them plan in advance where pieces of furniture will go. “We can even unpack for them so that they don’t have to face new rooms full of boxes. But the important thing is, they are always in control.” She will take on any or all parts of the relocation process, but at each stage her clients are presented with choices and asked how they would like to proceed.

Questions to ask Amanda is always happy when a family calls her in at the beginning of the process and the questions she asks provide a guideline for anyone in this situation: • Do the parents want to move nearer to their family? • Should they stay where they are because they have friends in the area, because they’ve always lived there? • Are they sociable, do they like to go for a drink in the evening? Or perhaps they like gardening or to go and listen to talks? This should be taken into consideration when choosing accommodation. • What sort of support do they need now – and importantly, what support will they need in five years’ time? It’s a much shorter time frame for an older person – closer to five years than 20. The type of accommodation families choose is dependent on personality and interests as well as finance. Amanda takes her clients personally to see what’s on offer and they are sometimes pleasantly surprised. “Care homes, retirement flats and sheltered accommodation are labels that a lot of elderly people don’t like, so I might take them to visit a retirement community so they can see what it’s really like and make up their own minds.” 16 The Onion magazine

A service like this wasn’t something anyone could have envisaged needing years ago. Amanda explains why: “The change in our culture over the last 30 years means that daughters no longer live at home, or take parents in, or are there to assist when they get old. Now every woman I know works. And also we live so far away from our families now. “Older people themselves have become more independent. They are happy they’ve been able to build an independent life and they don’t want to disrupt their children’s lives. “It also has a lot to do with an improvement in health – by and large the baby boomers aren’t unhealthy, just frail. “It’s great when the adult children want to be in contact, to help and make sure their parents are OK, but it’s also nice for them to know that they can go away and someone like me will be helping to sort things out. The sad thing is where we are helping elderly people who are completely on their own, or have children who just don’t care.” Penny Kitchen is a writer and editor. She can be reached by email at penny.kitchen@ btopenworld.com. FIND OUT MORE

For more information on Senior Moves go to their website: www.seniormoves.co.uk. All staff are CRB checked and fully insured.

onionmagazine.co.uk


<11

EXHIBITIONS … CONCERTS … FETES & FAIRS … CHARITY EVENTS ... THINGS TO DO

20>

Northiam Bonfire Society’s Spring Craft Fair Saturday 7 March 10:00 to 14:00 A wide variety of quality crafts from local artists, craftsmen and makers in the relaxed environment of Northiam Village Hall. Take your time to select that perfect gift and talk to the craftsmen and women, or think about it over a cup of coffee and home-made cake. Prices range from ‘why not, I’ll have a few’ to ‘I deserve it’ – so there’s something for everyone. Free entry. More details at www.northiambonfiresociety.co.uk.

www.tenterdenrotary.org.uk or contact Ian Bampton on 01233 758355.

Tenterden Rotary Club Swimarathon Sunday 8 March 17:30 to 21:00 The Rotary Club of Tenterden invites you to be part of the Global Swimarathon 2015. A World Record Breaking event for Charity by Rotary at Tenterden Leisure Centre on Sunday 8th March 2015. Teams of all ages are invited to enter between 4 and 6 swimmers in a team. Each team has 30 minutes to swim as many lengths as possible in relay and are individually sponsored for charity. 50% of your team’s sponsorship can be allocated to a charity of your choice. The balance of the money raised will go to the worldwide End Polio Now campaign and other Rotary supported charities. For more information and to download an entry and sponsorship form, visit the website of the Rotary Club of Tenterden

Charity Concert at St Ronan’s School, Hawkhurst Sunday 8 March 15:00 Tongswood Chamber Choir, Cranbrook Symphony Orchestra and violinist Hayley Lam, a musical scholar at Benenden School will be performing in aid of Hospice in the Weald. The programme includes Vaughan Williams, Faure, Mozart and Debussy. Tickets £5 and £10. Reserve your seat online at www.thecso.org.uk. Tickets also available from the Hospice in the Weald shop in Hawkhurst. Venue: St Ronan’s School, Hawkhurst.

Cantate Choir concert in Winchelsea Sunday 8 March 15:00 There will be a concert of sacred and secular music given by the Cantate Choir and instrumental soloists from King’s College School, Wimbledon. Tickets are £10 available from Winchelsea Farm Kitchen. Venue: St Thomas Church, Winchelsea.

‘The Country Seat – the Georgian Stately Home’ Tuesday 10 March 19:30 The 18th century prosperity of this area is reflected in the number of large houses built or enlarged at this time. For the last Northiam & District Historical & Literary Society

TOE NAIL TRIMMING REQUIRED? PAINFUL CORN? CALLUS? INGROWN TOENAILS? Please call me for a home visit.

T: 07870 157183 E: serenamttr@gmail.com W: www.thepurplefootlady.co.uk

THE PURPLE FOOT LADY Serena Mutter MAFHP MCFHP Foot Health Professional

March 2015

The Onion magazine 17


Lamb House, Rye By Nick Farley

Lamb House in Rye must be one of the few houses anywhere which actually has a starring role in a series of books and in a television series based on those books. Mallards, which is Lamb House’s stage name, so to speak, is not just a place where some of the action takes place, it really has a part to play in the books and the television drama. It actually is a member of the cast. In life too it has been a part of some interesting situations, not least when George I stayed there for three days after his ship was grounded at Camber in a storm. Originally built by James Lamb and completed in 1723, the year he became Mayor of Rye, it was the home of the Lamb family, one of Rye’s most powerful and influential families, for the next 250 years or so. But it is its literary and artistic past which 18 The Onion magazine

Top: Henry James (Bettman Cordis) Above: E F Benson

today is of most interest to us, and which continues to this day. It all began in 1899 when Henry James, the American author, bought it. Under his ownership which lasted until he died in 1916 all manner of eminent literary figures were entertained there including Kipling, H G Wells, Max Beerbohm, G K Chesterton, Conrad, Ford Maddox Ford, the list goes on and on and includes the two Bensons - brothers A C and E F Benson - who themselves rented the place when Henry James died. But it was the E F of the two, Edward Frederic Benson, with his wonderful satires on Rye life who made the house, as Mallards, a central part of the tales of Mapp and Lucia. It is ironic that perhaps the most famous room in the house, the Garden Room, no longer exists; it was bombed in 1940. It was in this room that Henry James dictated his works and it was from this room in Benson’s fiction that Mapp and Lucia, at various times, watched every move made in Rye (known as Tilling onionmagazine.co.uk


in the books) and attempted, usually successfully, to orchestrate the social life of the town. The filming last year of the BBC’s latest production of Mapp and Lucia (below) saw the Garden Room recreated temporarily as a film set attached to the house, but it is hoped that the fundraising effort boosted by the film fees will eventually see the Garden Room properly rebuilt. The literary heritage of Lamb House has long made it an attraction for visitors to Rye and the recent production of Mapp and Lucia will have focused a more intense light on the place and introduced it to a new audience, but it has also prodded me into action too. Many times as a small boy on visits to Rye with my parents I walked past that March 2015

high brick wall on West Street and wondered what wonders were hidden behind it and now the television programme has given us all a sight of the beautiful garden that is there. I’m not sure that as a small boy a beautiful garden would have been what I wanted to see, but times change. I am the biggest possible fan of the Mapp and Lucia books and I am a member of The National Trust and yet I am ashamed to admit that I have never visited Lamb House. It’s because it’s right here on the doorstep. If it was in, say, Chichester, I would have made a special trip and had a day out, but because it’s next door I always think that I can do that tomorrow, or next week, or next month after all, it’s not going to disappear; however, I might, so when The National Trust re-opens the house on March 14th I am definitely going to be there. FIND OUT MORE

Lamb House is a National Trust property. Opening times: every Tuesday, Friday and Saturday from March 14th to Oct 31st. Admission to the house and garden: Adults £5.40 , child £2.70. Tel: 01580 762334, email: lambhouse@nationaltrust.org.uk. Lamb House, West Street , Rye, TN31 7ES

The Onion magazine 19


EXHIBITIONS … CONCERTS … FETES & FAIRS … CHARITY EVENTS ... THINGS TO DO <17 23>

event of the season, Martin Heard will be talking about and illustrating ‘The Country Seat – the Georgian Stately Home’. Wine and nibbles will follow. Venue: Northiam Village Centre. ‘The Vidler Family’ by Peter Ewart – Rye Castle Museum Tuesday 10 March 19:30 Peter, a member of the East St Museum, will talk about his latest research concentrating on the famous Vidler family, who were so prominent in the story of Rye. £2 members, £3 guests. Refreshments served at 8.45pm. www.ryemuseum.co.uk. Lent Lunch in Udimore Wednesday 11 March 12:00 to 14:00 Brede and Unimore Overseas Group are holding a Lent ‘soup and bread’ lunch in Udimore Village Hall. No need to book, just drop in any time between 12noon and 2pm. Donation appreciated. ‘A life in education, as pupil and teacher’ by Malcolm Pratt Wednesday 11 March 14:30 A talk by Malcolm Pratt for the Winchelsea Second Wednesday Society followed by a tasty homemade tea. Talks take place on the afternoon of the second Wednesday of each month (except August) at the New Hall, Winchelsea. Annual membership costs £10 plus £1 for tea at each meeting. Non-Members are welcome at £4 for each talk and tea. Venue: New Hall, Winchelsea. For details contact Richard Feast on 01797 222629. ‘Via Wood and Water’ with the Northiam Footpath Group Wednesday 11 March 09:15 A 7-mile grade 3 walk leaving Northiam Surgery car park at 9.15am for 10am start from Lamberhurst car park. Pub lunch en route. For more information contact Sue Clark on 01797 253428. www.northiamfootpathgroup.co.uk. ‘Toy Train to the Clouds’ by Paul Whittle Thursday 12 March 19:30 This Tenterden and District National Trust Association lecture tells the story of the Darjeeling Himalayan Railway. Members £4, non-Members £5. Visitors welcomed. For more information call 01580 764791. Venue: Tenterden Junior School, Recreation Ground Road, Tenterden. Family support and coping with dementia awareness event in Tenterden Thursday 12 March 15:00 to 17:30 Whitehead Monckton, in conjunction with The Good Care Group will be hosting this event which is designed to provide helpful information and advice about some of the practical and legal issues surrounding the care

20 The Onion magazine

of people with dementia, with particular emphasis on relieving the pressure on their families. The event also provides the opportunity for brief one-to-one discussions so individuals have the chance to ask questions regarding their family’s specific circumstances - these will be available on a on a first-come first-served basis. To reserve a place at this event, please contact: Mandy Coltham on 01622 698007, or email mandycoltham@ whitehead-monckton.co.uk. Continental Flea Market, Tenterden Friday 13 March 10:30 to 14:30 There will be a diverse range of beautiful Continental Vintage products on offer at The Assembly Room, Tenterden in the style, atmosphere and flavour of a Continental Market. Facebook: www.facebook.com/ pages/French-Flea-Ici/678307615586331. Email: Julia@ cherishthevintage.co.uk Hedge-Planting Day – Volunteers Needed Saturday 14 March 11:00 to 15:00 Time to get the wellies on and get stuck in to plant up to 420 saplings from the Woodland Trust in the Rye Community Food & Wildlife Garden, Love Lane, Rye. The saplings are likely to be 30-40cms high – so not too onerous to lift and lay. Refreshments will be on hand to sustain and revive. They’re calling for as many volunteers as possible to go along. Venue: Love Lane, on the north side of the railway line is where Rye Academy, the Rye Studio and Rye Primary School are sited. Access to the Garden is via the vehicular gate at the very end of Love Lane. Lindt Daffodil Decorating at RHS Garden Wisley Saturday 14 March Go along to see the carpets of spring flowering bulbs, including the crocus extravaganza of 110,000 newly-planted crocuses flowering on the conifer lawn and decorate a daffodil pot to take away. For more information contact stephanieshepherd@rhs.org.uk. Swift Conservation Saturday 14 March 14:30 Part of the Friends’ Winter Talks series, Edward Mayer will update us with the latest news on the protection of these amazing birds that bring spectacular action, drama and excitement to our town, city and village skies. Venue: Winchelsea Beach Community Hall. Open to all. Donations appreciated. For more information contact: Lime Kiln Cottage Information Centre on 01797 227784 or email rhnroffice@sussexwt.org.uk or see the websites www.sussexwildlifetrust.org.uk/whatson or www. WildRye.info.

onionmagazine.co.uk

1


Stalwart Wellness provides a unique setting nestled in the grounds of a private residence in Tenterden offering: ■ Pilates classes ■ Personal training ■ Yoga classes ■ Private lessons For more information and details on the classes please go to stalwartwellness.co.uk or contact info@stalwartwellness.co.uk or 07779 670502

Stalwart Wellness Tenterden Kent 152 A5 leaflet AW.indd 1

stalwartj 08/01/2015 09:06


Daffodils

With Beth Otway

For many, daffodils epitomise spring; historically they symbolised chivalry and new beginnings. Today for many of us daffodils represent hope. The quintessential daffodil is often pictured as bright yellow in colour, with a trumpet-shaped flower. However the daffodil has a long history of extensive breeding and consequently today there are a huge variety of daffodil flower colours - yellow, white, orange, pink and green. There are many different flower types, and sizes of daffodil available. Indeed there are over 30,000 names in the Royal Horticultural Society’s Daffodil Registration Database. All daffodils belong to the genus Narcissus; they are part of the Amaryllidaceae family, which also includes snowdrops and alliums. Daffodils are wonderfully versatile; they can be grown successfully in containers, flower beds and borders, parks, meadows and grassy areas, woods and orchards. They are very resilient and come back each year heralding the start of spring, with no need to lift and replant. Rodents and squirrels leave daffodil bulbs alone, which is a real boon if you suffer with these pests! Thriving in a sunny or partly shaded spot, they are very easy to grow and can be propagated by seed, division of the bulbs and chipping. I utterly adore scented daffodils and revel in their delicious fragrance each spring. Narcissus ‘Fragrant Rose’ has, as its name suggests, a definite rose character to its fragrance at times, although the scent essentially reminds me of the sweetness of hyacinths. If you enjoy the heady scent of hyacinths and jasmine, you may also enjoy growing narcissus ‘Cheerfulness’, N. ‘Geranium’, N. ‘Sweetness’ and N. ‘Bridal Crown’. These daffodil varieties have all been awarded the RHS Award of Garden Merit and are superb daffodils that I just couldn’t be without. These scented varieties and indeed all daffodils make ideal cut flowers and a wonderful gift. Daffodils can bring hope to patients suffering from Alzheimer’s disease, as the plant 22 The Onion magazine

compound galantamine can delay the onset of symptoms. Trials found that daffodils grown under stress at high altitude in the Black Mountains in Wales produced more galantamine than those grown under normal conditions. Narciclasine, another compound present in daffodil bulbs, may be used in the future to treat aggressive brain cancers; studies have also suggested that compounds found in daffodils could help treat leukaemia, skin and ovarian cancer and depression. August and September are ideal months to plant daffodil bulbs giving enough time for the roots to get established before the cold weather sets in. Now is the ideal time to make your selection as daffodils are in flower. Visit botanical gardens now to see different varieties in flower, inhale their scent and get an idea of their character. Many gardens will even have a handy plant label, so you can take down the names of your favourite varieties and order bulbs to plant later in the year. Many different varieties of daffodil can be enjoyed at RHS Garden Wisley, at The National Trust’s Winkworth Arboretum in Godalming and Nymans in Handcross, West Sussex. West Dean Woods near Chichester has a large colony of wild daffodils; it is a Site of Special Scientific Interest, a working woodland and a private estate, so access is restricted. However a public bridleway running along the western edge provides an excellent vantage point to view the daffodils.

Beth Otway FIND OUT MORE

For more information about daffodils, details of gardens, shows and events and for tips and advice on what to do in your garden this month, see my website www.pumpkinbeth.com.

onionmagazine.co.uk


<20

EXHIBITIONS … CONCERTS … FETES & FAIRS … CHARITY EVENTS ... THINGS TO DO

The ever-popular Quiz Night is back again at Peasmarsh Memorial Hall Saturday 14 March 19:30 Tickets are £5.50 and include a Ploughman’s supper. You are asked to take your own drinks. For more information contact Hilary Pankhurst on 01797 230205. Venue: Peasmarsh Memorial Hall. London Handel Players at Vinehall School Saturday 14 March 19:30 A programme of Telemann, Handel, Leclair, Vivaldi and JS Bach including the Brandenburg Concerto No.5 by the London Handel Players who have thrilled audiences across the world with their performances and recordings. For tickets and more information please contact Geoffrey Whitehead on 01580 883092 or 01580 880413 during school office hours or email geoffreywhitehead@ vinehallschool.com. A G Whitehead, Vinehall School, Robertsbridge, East Sussex, TN31 5JL. An evening of violin and vocal music in Rye Saturday 14 March 19:30 (doors open from 19:00) The stunning violinist Nuri Koseoglu joins the Rye Bay Ensemble and will be performing a selection of violin music alongside vocal music of the era by Rebekah Gilbert. Tickets £10. For more information contact Rebekah on 07974 001818 or email info@vivawellbeing.com.

27>

Sunday 15 March 09:00 to 14:00 To book a table in advance (£6) telephone Trevor on 01797 230568. Held in aid of Memorial Hall Funds. Scotney Castle – mums go free! Sunday 15 March 10:00 to 17:00 To celebrate Mothering Sunday mothers will be given free entry to Scotney Castle all day. See the atmospheric medieval moated castle surrounded by early spring blooms and then perhaps take her to the tea room and shop. Normal admission charges apply. Sissinghurst Castle – Mother’s Day Roast Sunday 15 March 12:00 to 15:00 Treat mother to a tasty roast in the granary restaurant and, as a special treat, there will be free truffles for all the mothers as well. Then walk off lunch with a wander in the garden to see the start of the spring bloom. Normal admission charges apply. Tickets £20 per person. Booking not needed. Bateman’s – Mothering Sunday Tea Sunday 15 March 14:30 to 16:30 (last admission 16:00) Visit Bateman’s and treat Mum to a traditional English tea of sandwiches, scone, jam, cream and a slice of Victoria sponge cake. Normal admission charges apply. Tickets £15 per person. Booking essential on 01435 882302.

Flea & Collectors’ Market at Peasmarsh Memorial Hall

March 2015

The Onion magazine 23


A GOOD Book

In this column we feature books that we, and our reviewers, like. They may not necessarily be new books, but they’ll be fiction and non-fiction books that we have enjoyed. We’ll always include at least one children’s book in the selection each time. We’d love to hear your thoughts on anything you feel we should be reading and sharing with others.

The Little Book of Garden Bird Songs By Andrea Pinnington and Caz Buckingham Published in March 2015 by Fine Feather Press www.finefeatherpress.com £12.99. Hardback.

I find it so frustrating when I need to refer to bird recognition books and they say that I need to listen out for a ‘thin tic-tic’ or a ‘repeated tic-tic’ – the same sound from two entirely different birds. With such ridiculous descriptions it’s impossible to know what they sound like, unless, of course, you already know what they sound like. So I was absolutely delighted to discover this smashing book from Fine Feather that has buttons which you press to hear exactly what a bird sounds like. There are 12 garden birds featured in this book and each is given a doublepage spread of illustrations, a short description, plus a little information on where it’s found, what it feeds on, what size it is, what sort of eggs it lays and how it nests. The sounds are short bursts of recordings of actual birdsong. They are clear and clean-sounding, and are so real that our poor cat was 24 The Onion magazine

driven mad trying to track down where the bird was in the room. Putting the actual sounds in a book instead of meaningless descriptions like “a trilling tir-eek” is a great idea and this is a beautifully produced book. Reviewed by Carol Farley

London’s Secrets: Peaceful Places By David Hampshire Published in 2014 by Survival Books www.survivalbooks.net £11.95. Hardback.

Now that I don’t travel to London every day, the deafening noise and chaos of the place, which I had previously got used to hearing but blocking out, seems louder and more insistent when I do go. So to me the idea of London being a place of calm and tranquility seems very attractive, if not very believable. Yet within the pages of Peaceful Places there can be found quiet eating and drinking places of every kind from various cafes, pubs, bars and restaurants to refined tearooms. There are interesting shops such as the Hive Honey Shop in Clapham which has a five-foot, glass-fronted beehive which is home to a colony of

20,000 Buckfast Abbey bees; places of worship including a convent near to Oxford Street which has a gruesome attraction in the crypt – but it is peaceful. There are spas, flotation tanks and parks; museums, libraries, galleries and, of course, gardens. There are even are few walks which take you through woods, along rivers, beside canals as well as around the parks and gardens. I thought I knew London quite well, but there were some very interesting finds in this book and it made me decide that the next time I’m in London I’ll build in an extra hour to find somewhere to escape the bustle and quietly enjoy the peaceful things it has to offer. Reviewed by Jessica Harding

Patton: Ordeal and Triumph By Ladislas Farago Available from Abebooks www.abebooks.co.uk

One of the most famous generals, or for many perhaps the most infamous general, of World War II was the American George Smith Patton. His exploits were made into a classic film simply onionmagazine.co.uk


titled ‘Patton’ in 1970 and it’s still seen regularly on TV today. That film was based on this excellent biography – Patton: Ordeal and Triumph by Ladislas Farago. It’s not a new book but it is readily available. Patton’s WWII battle successes, his frequent damaging clashes with his superiors, his showmanship and his continual private ‘war’ with Montgomery are legendary, but behind this outward show there was a highly educated, complex, religious and sensitive man; a man which the film didn’t show but which this book does. Patton was undoubtedly a brilliant soldier and leader; a leader not just in name but in deed; a leader who did actually lead from the front and who, it is clear from Farago’s book, was loved and respected by those under his command. The forthrightness which his staff loved was what got him into trouble with Eisenhower and Bradley both of whom had been his juniors but both of whom, being perhaps more diplomatic, finished up as his bosses. This book, apart from obviously being Patton’s biography, gives a detailed insight into how wars are actually fought; how the chain of command works and in this case how a so-called force of allies (British, American, French) were often at loggerheads and how that adversely affected the actions taken. However, this is Patton’s story and it is certainly not a paean of praise, but if you were to ask me who I’d like to have dinner with it would, after reading this book, be him. Reviewed by Nick Farley March 2015

The Blizzard Wizard

(part of the Ramion series) Written and illustrated by Frank Hinks Published by Perronet Press www.ramion-books.com Children’s fiction. Hardback (some titles in the series are available in paperback)

The Ramion series of books are children’s fantasy adventure stories which boys seem particularly attracted to. The bizarre characters have equally bizarre adventures involving witches, skulls, vampires, mischievous clouds, a vegetarian eagle, some racoons on motorbikes and a rather scary-looking rabbit called Scrooey Looey, so these are probably books for older children, I would say seven or over, and I warn you that there’s lots of little boy humour about picking noses and scratching bottoms. However, these stories are terrific fun and they rip along at a rollicking, and sometimes exhausting, pace. I’m not sure exactly how many books there are in the series, but at least sixteen and that’s more than enough to keep children amused for quite a while if they get hooked on them. Reviewed by Carol Farley

Barnett’s of Wadhurst is a bookshop with a difference. “We really listen to what our customers say” It is a very friendly, personal service at Barnett’s. With a great understanding of books, and people, we have been successfully recommending books for our customers for many years. When an item needs to be ordered we can usually get it for the next day. Why not come and visit our newly upgraded, extensive and thoughtfully selected children’s department. Open: Mon-Sat 9-5 (Closed 1-2) Wednesday 9-1 only Gordon House High Street Wadhurst E. Sussex TN5 6AA Tel/Fax: 01892 783566 Enquiries@barnettsbooks.com www.barnettsbooks.com Proprietor: Richard Hardy Smith

The Onion magazine 25


EAT BY NICK FARLEY

Sahebs, Northiam It was just over three years ago that we heard that the Station House pub in Northiam was to become an Indian restaurant. When this news broke it didn’t cause more than the tiniest of ripples on Northiam’s otherwise placid and undistinguished culinary pond. After all, Indian restaurants are not uncommon, and as it is said that curry has now become the ‘national dish’ you’d expect there to be an Indian restaurant in every village. Northiam was just joining in. However, the inhabitants of Northiam didn’t know how lucky they were about to become. It is very easy to bracket all Indian restaurants and take-aways together, and it is true that many, perhaps even most, are in a much-of-a-muchness sort of a category deserving of no particular praise nor indeed condemnation, but now and then one stands out from the crowd and Sahebs is decidedly one such. It is definitely a cut above the rest, and quite a big cut at that. From the moment you walk in you know this place is ‘different’ and one of the things that immediately impresses is the high standard of décor and finish of this restaurant. This is a comfortable, modern and well-appointed place with none of the flock wallpaper and pictures of rural India which so often characterise Indian restaurants. Another thing which you notice is the napery, which is first class; it is such a pleasure to have decent starched table cloths and napkins contributing to the sense of occasion when you are eating in any restaurant, and it’s all too rare. The welcome is friendly without being either familiar or unctuous and, bliss of bliss, although there were only two of us we were shown to a table for four. How often does that happen? There is nothing worse in any restaurant than being shown to some microscopic table for two when there are empty four-seater tables available. You sit cramped on your small table and no one ever fills the table for four. At Sahebs we were shown straight to a table for four. Tra la! The food is, in a word, good. After a few preliminary poppadums we both chose from the ‘Signature Dishes’ menu: the Ed having Handi Chicken, a medium hot dish with lemon grass, peppers and spring onions, while I had Gosht Kara Masala, a lamb dish with ginger, pepper and onions. As side dishes we ordered (overordered?) some rice, plus Tarka Dall, Bombay Potato, a stir-fried dish called Niramish, and a Peshwari Nan. Our main courses really were delicious and delicate, and the Tarka Dall was excellent too, but I was a little disappointed with the Niramish which as a stir-fry I had expected to be fairly 26 The Onion magazine

dry but which turned out to be rather oily and soggy. The portions at Sahebs are generous and we didn’t eat everything, but never mind because the Ed, unlike me, is never too embarrassed to ask for a ‘doggy bag’ and so we had the considerable leftovers for supper the following night. We both drank Indian beer with the meal, but had there been a Gewürztraminer or perhaps a Riesling on the wine list we would have had one of those instead. Gewürztraminer and Riesling are both, these days, rather unfashionable, but their slight sweetness – they’re not sweet – is the perfect complement to spicy food and yet they are so rarely seen on wine lists in Asian restaurants, which is a shame. Puds are, for me, a bit of a let-down in Indian restaurants. I’m not too keen on the authentic Indian desserts and, therefore, usually rely on ice cream or sorbet. At Sahebs the desserts are mostly of an ice cream persuasion and are ‘bought in’ but they are very good and the Ed’s chocolate, mint ice cream concoction looked and tasted wonderful. Coffee to finish and that, sadly, was that. Sahib and Memsahib disappeared into the night very satisfied indeed. The meal as described, and including a tip, came to £75, but remember we ate handsomely from the ‘doggy bag’ on the following night at home too.

www.sahebsrestaurant.co.uk Tel: 01797 253336 Editor’s note: I’m sorry that here are no pictures of the food in this review. I forgot my camera and tried instead to use my mobile phone and the results do not do the food justice. So, no pictures. Sorry. onionmagazine.co.uk


<23

EXHIBITIONS … CONCERTS … FETES & FAIRS … CHARITY EVENTS .. THINGS TO DO

Mothering Sunday lunch at Bodiam Castle Sunday 15 March 12:00 to 14:00 Visitors can pre-book a 2-course lunch in the Wharf tea room where there are four choices of main course and three choices of pudding. The price of lunch includes entry to the Castle for Mum. Tickets £25 per person. The number to pre-book is 01580 831324. Ladies Who Latte, Cranbrook Tuesday 17 March 10:00 to 12:00 This is a friendly networking group of self-employed and business women who meet on the third Tuesday of every month at 10am to 12noon. (I have been to these events and they’re a really nice bunch of women, Ed.). Contact: Gill Buchanan – words@gillbuchanan.co.uk for more details. Venue: Cocolicious, Cranbrook. Coffee Morning Wednesday 18 March 10:00 Local people needed to help establish and maintain a local, community-run network who can befriend and support each other. Has your life routine changed recently meaning you have free time? Would you or someone you know benefit from meeting new friends? Could you find time in your life to help and support a neighbour? If any of these apply to you then you will be welcome. There is an introductory coffee morning at The Milk House, High Street, Sissinghurst. For more details and to book your free place call Sally, J Perigoe & Son Community Liaison Co-ordinator on 01580 713636. Computer problem-solving evening in Biddenden Wednesday 18 March 19:30 The Weald of Kent Computer Club is holding one of their ever-popular problem-solving evenings. So, if you have any problems (aren’t there always problems, Ed?) now is the time to raise your questions to have them solved. Your questions in advance of the meeting are welcomed to the following email address. Annual membership costs £10 and covers free admission to all 10 meetings. Visitors welcome, £2 per visit. Enquiries to secretarywkcc@yahoo.co.uk.

30>

National Trust Association will take you on a tour of some of the extraordinary images existing in over 700 churches in England. Venue: Brede Village Hall. For more information contact Marion Brunt on 01424 883566 or email marionbrunt@btinternet.com. The Orchid Society of Great Britain Spring Show, RHS Garden Wisley Saturday 21 March 11:00 to 16:00 Featuring competitive classes and displays by members and affiliated societies. There will also be unusual species for sale, and advice for all. www.rhs.org.uk/ gardenswhatson. Defending Rye Bay Saturday 21 March 10:00 to 12:00 Its proximity to France and its open beaches have made Rye Bay the destination of choice for invaders over the centuries. Join Cliff Dean and Martin King for a short walk at the western end of Pett Level when they’ll look at defences from the 19th and 20th centuries. Meet at Toot Rock, Pett Level – grid reference TQ 894138, nearest postcode TN35 4EL. No booking necessary. Donations appreciated. For more information contact: Lime Kiln Cottage Information Centre on 01797 227784 or email

Stuart Kirk Freelance photographer

Tenterden U3A Thursday 19 March 14:00 There is a monthly meeting with a guest speaker on the third Thursday of each month at St Mildred’s Hall, Church Road, Tenterden at 2pm. Members and guests welcome. Details of speakers can be found at www. tenterdentown/u3a. ‘The Topsy Turvy World of Misericords’ by Imogen Corrigan Thursday 19 March 14:00 Imogen is a freelance lecturer in Anglo-Saxon and Medieval History and Art. This talk for the Rye & District March 2015

www.TenterdenPhotography.co.uk Telephone 01580 764899 The Onion magazine 27


MARCH GARDENING By Jack Hebden A spade is a spade… or perhaps not. In March the sap in humans, as well as plants, begins to rise after the winter dormancy and many of you will be picking up tools and equipment which were perhaps last used several months ago in the autumn, and I thought it would be a good idea, therefore, to highlight tools this month rather than plants. Tools are a very important part of gardening yet they get very little attention from gardening writers. When I started gardening many years ago I found it very easy to get information and advice about what to grow and how to grow it, but it was virtually impossible to get any advice about the best tools and equipment to buy. It seems that that is still the case today despite the fact that garden hardware (as opposed to the ‘software’ of plants and seeds) is a major expenditure. The pleasure of gardening can be immeasurably improved by having the right tools and the misery can be doubled if you have the wrong, or inadequate, tools. Too many people, it seems to me, soldier on using poor quality tools, or the wrong tools, often because they are simply unaware that anything better exists, and that is why at various times this year I want to draw attention to some tools which you may not be aware of. These days there are completely new tools or pieces of equipment that have only come to exist because of

An ordinary spade requires bending to dig....

28 The Onion magazine

the availability of new materials or new technology or just because of a new design idea. Some of these new things are just gimmicks but some are very good. The small rake by Wolf, mentioned in December’s Onion, is an example of a relatively new design which is good and which I wouldn’t be without, while the excellent Chase cloches also mentioned are a very old design which similarly I wouldn’t be without. However, there is one traditional piece of equipment which I would happily be without – the garden spade. A traditional spade is probably one of the first tools you buy when you first have a garden to look after and, whenever you bought it, I bet you’ve still got your original one. I bet you don’t love it either. Double-digging the vegetable plot was once a mandatory and hideous, annual ritual and every book and magazine demanded that you did it. There was an almost religious zeal behind the insistence on double-digging the vegetable garden every year and also every time you prepared a new ornamental bed. It has been realised these days, I think - I hope - that double-digging isn’t really necessary; even farmers plough much less than they used to and many don’t plough at all. Digging, however, isn’t going to disappear completely, and digging is always hard work. What’s more it’s particularly hard work using the traditional spade. The traditional spade is an evil and inefficient piece of design which involves you in too much bending, and which also puts too much strain on your back. Therefore, I recommend that you try instead a

... and bending to lift and turn A long handle spade does not ...nor to turn the soil. the soil. require bending to dig...

onionmagazine.co.uk


long-handled spade. This is definitely not a new tool; it’s been around forever. I have always used one and I’m sure you will find it easier to use than the standard spade, and it will be much kinder to your back. It still won’t dig the garden on its own, sadly, but it will make your life easier. The long handle means that you bend much less and you can exert greater leverage with less effort. It is difficult to explain its use but I hope the editor has taken some pictures to do that. (Yes. Ed.) The long-handled spade is, as the Americans would say, ‘the spade of choice’ in many other countries and why

we seem to have settled for our traditional version, heaven knows. Perhaps it’s because these things were ‘decided’ by professional gardeners who spent their lives digging and were used to it, whereas the weekend gardener doesn’t have the physique necessary to wield a standard English spade for several hours at a time. The long-handled spade illustrated here is made by Bulldog and it has a 48” (122cm) handle - an ordinary spade handle would be around 28” (71cm) long - and it costs £40.67. It is quite heavy, so if you are past your Olympian best there is a smaller version called a Shrubbery spade which has a 42” (107cm) handle, a much smaller blade and a better blade shape for digging heavy ground, and it costs £37.37. I haven’t used this smaller version but being smaller and lighter than its brother I think it would be a very handy implement indeed for older gardeners. (Me.) These long-handled spades may not be in every garden centre but you can contact Bulldog direct if you have any difficulty in tracking them down. (See 10% discount below, Ed.) If you do prefer the standard type of spade then at least look for one that is light; many of them are very shiny and fancy but are far too heavy. The smaller ‘border’ spade is often a much better choice, and if you are working heavy ground look for a slightly ‘pointed’ blade as opposed to a straight blade. This will help you penetrate the ground more easily. Finally, whatever spade you use, don’t take too big a bite into the ground with it; two small bites are much easier on you and the spade, and you will get the job done just as quickly. FIND OUT MORE

Long-handled spade and other tools www.bulldogtools.co.uk Bulldog Tools Ltd, Rollins House, 1 Parkway, Harlow Business Park, Harlow, Essex CM19 5QF

The best little garden centre in the weald 10% off all Bulldog Tools at Bumbles with this advertisement Bumbles Plant Centre, Tolehurst Farm, Frittenden, Cranbrook, Kent TN17 2BP L to R: border spade, standard spade and long handled spade

March 2015

Tel - 01580 720940 Email - info@bumbles-plant-centre.co.uk www.bumbles-plant-centre.co.uk The Onion magazine 29


<27

EXHIBITIONS … CONCERTS … FETES & FAIRS … CHARITY EVENTS .. THINGS TO DO

rhnroffice@sussexwt.org.uk or see the websites www. sussexwildlifetrust.org.uk/whatson or www.WildRye. info. Ryesingers Variety Night Saturday 21 March 19:30 The Ryesingers will be presenting a night of variety entertainment. There will also be a three-course meal to enjoy, a welcoming glass of wine and a cash bar for further drinks. Tickets £20 are available from Grammar School Records on Rye High Street, The Cinque Ports Arms on Cinque Ports Street and from choir members (if you know who they are). Venue: The Community Centre in Rye. Wally Gimber Trophy British Cycling Road Race Sunday 22 March Homewood School, Ashford Road, Tenterden will be hosting the British Cycling Road Race. It will act as the Headquarters for the race, with organisers using the Sports Hall for an Awards Ceremony at the end of the event. At time of going to press there was no map of the route available with the timing for the event scheduled as 9am to 3pm. Hastings Budgerigar Society at Northiam Village Hall Monday 23 March 19:00 to 22:00 This month’s meeting is a Beginners’ Forum with Pauline Senior, Fred Pilbeam and Brian Vaughan answering questions from the members. Competition birds this month are Normal Blues and Normal Greys. There is a warm welcome to anyone interested. If your club or society would like the Society to display their birds at one of your meetings a request would be serious considered. Contact Brian Mepham on 01424 429094 or go to their website www.hastingsbudgerigarsociety.org. Peasmarsh Parish Council Annual Parish Assembly Wednesday 25 March 19:30 There will be a presentation by First Responders, information on how to become a Parish Councillor and an opportunity to meet, chat and put your views to your current Parish Councillors. All are welcome. Ghostbusters – fund-raising at Kino Hawkhurst Wednesday 25 March 20:15 The Rotary Club of Cranbrook and Hawkhurst is holding a fund-raising evening at Kino Hawkhurst. Fizz, canapés and a private showing of the classic funny film ‘Ghostbusters’. Raffle during the evening with great prizes including a Harry Roffey trip to Paris for two. All proceeds to local charities. Ring 01580 754378 to book tickets at £15 each. ’50 Greys of Shade’ by Colin Moat Wednesday 25 March 19:15 30 The Onion magazine

Colin Moat will be giving a talk for the Biddenden Horticultural Society on ’50 Greys of Shade’. Colin is from Pineview Nursery and his talk advises on plants for those difficult areas. He will also have some plants to sell. Members £1.50, non-Members £2.50. Annual membership is £5. New members always welcome. Contact Irene on 01580 291777 or Lesley on 01580 291931. Venue: Biddenden Village Hall. Sole Traders of the Weald Thursday 26 March 09:15 (for about an hour) Are you self-employed or a sole trader? Go along to this informal and friendly networking group (they really are, Ed) for any self-employed/sole traders who would like to get more clients (and to have a cup of coffee and some support). Any trade or profession is welcome. This is a regular monthly event on the last Thursday of every month. For more information contact Ali on 07970 952199, soletradersoftheweald@gmail.com. Venue: Lunch Belles Café, Highbanks Nursery, Cranbrook Road, Gills Green. Support St Michael’s Hospice by Going Yellow! Friday 27 March St Michael’s Hospice is calling for nurseries, schools, colleges and businesses throughout Rother and Hastings to join them for their annual Yellow Day on the 27th March. Whether it’s mufti day, yellow cake sale, yellow party, or even a banana-eating competition, there’s plenty of ways for everyone to get involved and raise money for the Hospice. Every donation, however large or small is vital. If you would like to take part call Amanda Hildreth on 01424 456371 or email ahildreth@ stmichaelshospice.com. Spring Plant Fair, RHS Garden Wisley Friday 27 March to Sunday 29 March A must for all plant lovers. Go along and meet the growers, ask them your gardening questions and queries and choose quality plants to take home from specialist nurseries. www.rhs.org.uk/gardenswhatson. Bateman’s, Burwash Daily from Friday 27 March to Sunday 12 April 10:00 to 16:00 Follow the Bateman’s spring bird Eggsplorer trail around the property. Find out how good you are at spotting nests and working out who laid the eggs? Have fun and discover more about the garden birds. There’s a Cadbury Egghead at the end for those who complete the quest. Normal admission charges apply, trails are £2.50 per person. Tenterden Book Fair Saturday 28 March 09:00 to 15:00 Free admission. Thousands of books for sale from a onionmagazine.co.uk


EXHIBITIONS … CONCERTS … FETES & FAIRS … CHARITY EVENTS .. THINGS TO DO 37>

number of book dealers. Refreshments available from the Highbury Hall Café. Enquiries – Barry Williams on 01634 235484 or email barryjean.williams@btinternet. com. Venue: Highbury Hall, Highbury Lane, Tenterden TN30 6LE. Cyclamen Late Spring Show, RHS Garden Wisley Saturday 28 March 10:00 to 16:00 Late spring-flowering cyclamen species will be exhibited and on offer along with companion bulbous plants plus expert advice. www.rhs.org.uk/gardenswhatson. Rye Castle Museum Coffee Morning Saturday 28 March 10:300 to 12:00 Heralding the opening of East St Museum, Rye for the Spring. This part of the museum will then be open at weekends and Bank Holiday, volunteers permitting. Don’t forget – The Ypres Tower is open every day throughout the year. www.ryemuseum.co.uk. Bodiam Castle Daily from Saturday 28 March to Sunday 12 April 11:00 to 16:00 Explore the castle and grounds with the Bodiam Castle Cadbury Easter Egg Trail. Hunt for clues and earn your reward. Whether you’re a budding outlaw or law-abiding citizen trying to defend the realm, Heathcliff Heroics will

be on site providing archery lessons. Normal admission charges apply, trails £2.50 per person. Brightling Village Market Saturday 28 March 10:00 to 12:00 Brightling Village Market is held in the village hall on the last Saturday of every month from March to November. Soak up the village atmosphere, have coffee, cake and a chat. Buy local produce for the weekend or Easter gifts from the local craft stalls. They’re on Facebook too. Orchids in the Glasshouse, RHS Garden Wisley Saturday 28 March The Orchids in the Glasshouse display is a celebration of all things bright and beautiful. It combines exotic colour and innovative planting displays to create an oasis for orchid lovers in the beautiful Glasshouse. www.rhs.org. uk/gardenswhatson. Weald Neighbourhood Watch Association Coordinator’s Meeting Saturday 28 March 09:30 to 13:00 Weald of Kent NHW committee will be hosting a meeting of all volunteers at the Julie Rose Stadium in Ashford. This is a meeting for all interested in or active in Neighbourhood Warch. Get to know other groups and improve the Neighbourhood Watch in the Weald

The Tenterden Branch of the WEA is offering the following courses this spring: “Case Studies in Psychology” 5 x 2hr. meetings on Thursdays 10.30am-12.30pm from 5th March at Trinity Baptist Church. Fee: £40 “Art Appreciation” 7 x 2hr. meetings on Wednesdays 10.30am-12.30pm from 15th April at Little Silver Hotel. Fee: £56 “The Book and the Film” A day school on “The Great Gatsby” from 10am-3pm on 22nd May in Appledore Village Hall. Fee: £25 (includes lunch) Please come along for an interesting and stimulating course with a friendly group of people. For more information or to book a place, please contact Christine Parkes (01622 842217/christineparkes@hotmail. co.uk) or Sarah Cutts (01580 291406/pscutts@btinternet. com) or the WEA website www.wea.org.uk Bookings should be made at least two weeks before the start of a course - to ensure that there are enough people to run it, but it may be possible to book a place later.

March 2015

The Onion magazine 31


WEDDING TOWER By Jo Wheatley - Winner of the BBC’s Great British Bake Off WEDDING TOWER

I think the idea of lots of little mini cakes is such a nice idea for any celebration, it doesn’t have to be a I think the idea of lots the of little mini cakes such a nice idea.and I’m15going wedding.. I’m going to give measurements for is a three-layer topper mini cakes.

to give the measurements for a three-layer topper and 15 mini cakes.

Topper 225g margarine or unsalted butter, softened 225g caster sugar 4 large eggs, beaten 1 tsp vanilla extract 225g self-raising flour 2 tbsp milk Mini cakes 350g margarine or unsalted butter, softened 350g caster sugar 5 large eggs, beaten 2 tsp vanilla extract 350g self-raising flour 2–3 tbsp full-fat milk Buttercream 2kg icing sugar, plus extra for rolling out 500g unsalted butter, softened 4–6 tbsp full-fat milk Icing 2kg fondant or ready-to-roll icing You will also need 3 x 18cm sandwich cake tins, greased and the bases lined with buttered baking parchment, and 15 x 6cm mini cake tins, greased

Preheat the oven to 180°C/350°F/Gas Mark 4. Make the cake topper first. In the bowl of a free-standing mixer, cream the margarine (or butter) and sugar together until pale, light and fluffy. Gradually add the beaten eggs and vanilla extract. Add the flour and milk, and mix until light and fluffy. Divide equally between the 3 prepared sandwich tins, spread level and bake on the middle shelf of the preheated oven for about 20–25 minutes until golden and a skewer comes away clean when inserted into the middle of the cakes. Turn the cakes out of the tins onto a wire cooling rack and leave until cold. Repeat the above method for the mini cakes, dividing the mixture evenly between the 15 prepared tins. Place on a baking tray and bake for 25–30 minutes. Cool on wire racks until cold. To make the buttercream, tip all of the ingredients into the bowl of the free-standing mixer and beat until light and fluffy. To assemble, place one of the 18cm cakes on a cake board and spread with buttercream, then top with the second cake and repeat this layering. Cover the whole 3-tier cake and the top and sides of each of the mini cakes with a thin layer of buttercream, spreading it evenly with a palette knife. Put into the freezer for 30 minutes to firm up. Divide the fondant icing into 1 x 500g piece and 15 x 100g pieces. Dust the work surface with icing sugar and using a rolling pin roll one of the small pieces of icing at a time into a circle large enough to cover the top and sides of a mini cake. Lay the icing over the cake, smooth to cover and trim off any excess. Repeat with the remaining icing and cakes. Roll the larger piece of icing into a disc large enough to cover the top and sides of the layer cake. Lay the icing over the cake and smooth the surface with your hands. Trim off any excess and leave all of the cakes to dry for 30 minutes. To finish tie each cake in pretty ribbons and top with untreated roses with stalks covered in florists tape.

This recipe is from Jo Wheatley’s super book called ‘A Passion for Baking’, and is reprinted here with the kind permission of the publishers Constable & Robinson. www.constablerobinson.com. Celebration bakes 32 The Onion magazine

134

onionmagazine.co.uk


FOOD

March 2015

The Onion magazine 33


Pluckley — Little Chart — Egerton — Pluckley

A major part of this walk follows the Greensand Way on a linking of three villages, making a circuit that exploits wide vistas over a peaceful agricultural land. Each of the villages holds something of interest, while the countryside itself is most attractive with an array of orchards erupting with blossom in springtime. The walk In Pluckley’s main street linking Smarden with Charing, about 100m north of the Bethersden turn-off, a Greensand Way signpost directs the start of this walk into the village playing field on the eastern side of the road. Cross to the far side, and about 20m from the righthand corner, enter an orchard and walk ahead through it. Continue through a succession of orchards, passing alongside the beautiful garden of Sheerland Farm. Soon after, come to a narrow lane and maintain direction alongside a wall, then over a stile and along the left-hand edge of a field. Enter another orchard and wander directly through it, with glimpsed views of the North Downs to the left, then over a stile in a shelter belt of trees. Veer left round the edge of yet another orchard, then right at the boundary corner. About 20m after this corner, go through a gap on the left and walk through the next orchard (between the trees) to its far side where a waymark post then directs you to the right-hand corner boundary. Going through a gap Little Chart church is seen ahead. The path crosses a field towards it and brings you to a road left of the church, opposite The Swan Inn at grid ref 944459. The 13th-century church of St Mary was destroyed by a doodlebug in 1944 Built of brick, and resembling a water-tower, the neo-Gothic church of St Mary in Little Chart was consecrated in 1955 as a replacement for the original medieval church (almost 1 mile/1.5km away) that was destroyed in World War II. A number of houses in the village have distinctive arched windows that give the appearance of quizzical eyebrows. These are typical of all buildings of the Dering estate — see note below about Pluckley. Bear left, and at a T-junction a few paces later, cross directly ahead on a track leading into a field — now on the route of the Stour Valley 34 The Onion magazine

Walk. A footpath edges the right-hand boundary from which it may be possible to see one of two millponds through the trees on the right. Curve left with the field edge, then turn right with the continuing footpath which soon joins a track alongside fields, woods and more orchards. Come to farm buildings with a ruined church tower seen ahead. Now on a concrete farm road, take the right-hand option when it forks, and shortly after veer left towards a group of oasthouses. A path runs along the right-hand side of the drive leading to these oasthouses, then takes you into the churchyard of St Mary’s, whose shell of a tower remains a symbol of the medieval church that once stood here. Pass alongside the ruins and come onto a road at grid ref 934466, then turn left. The ruined church of St Mary dates from 1200. Standing on raised ground above the road, it was destroyed by a doodlebug (flying bomb) on the evening of 16 August 1944. Now only the shell of its tower, and a few skeletal walls, remain to create a romantically attractive scene. Shortly after passing Chart Court Barn and Chart Court Stables, the road curves slightly. Here you take a footpath on the right which keeps to the edge of a field, then continue into a second field and angle half-left through it, aiming for the right-hand corner of Little Pipers Wood. The path now weaves its way through the wood (masses of bluebells and wild garlic in onionmagazine.co.uk


Left: The walk passes alongside the garden of Sheerland Farm. Right: The 13th-century church of St Mary was destroyed by a doodlebug in 1944

springtime), and emerges onto a track known as Nettlepole Lane. Turn right. This track provides lovely long views to the North Downs as it eases between fields, then comes onto the very narrow Pivington Lane at grid ref 924469. Turn right, then left onto a continuing track which soon leads alongside a small woodland. Shortly before reaching Iden Farm Cottage come onto a narrow lane. Leave the lane alongside the cottage garden boundary, then slant across a large field towards Egerton church. On the far side of the field cross a stile in a hedge and turn left. Through a gate by a water tank turn right, then walk along a track for about 250m. A footpath on the left now angles across a field towards a line of trees that appears left of the church. Cross two stiles within this line of trees, then go half-right to a third stile in a paddock, and across the paddock to its left-hand corner. The way continues along the back of buildings and onto a drive which leads into Egerton’s main street opposite the handsome ragstone church at grid ref 908475. Egerton is gathered at a T-junction of minor roads with fine views south over a sudden slope that drops to the low meadowlands of the Weald. Crowning the village the grey tower of the church of St James is topped by a small turret, a feature common to a number of churches in the Kentish Weald. On the southern edge of the village, enjoying the Wealden view, the Millennium Hall is a handsome building designed to look like a Kentish barn, and is one of the county’s finest village halls. Rejoining the route of the Greensand Way, turn left and walk through the village, soon passing The George Inn with glorious views ahead. A few paces beyond the pub Egerton primary school is seen on the right. Opposite this the Greensand Way breaks to the left along Elm Close. Ignoring a sign which sends a March 2015

footpath down a slope near the village hall, go as far as the first bungalow on the right at the end of the Close. A path cuts down the side of this and takes you round the headland of a field, then onto a narrow lane. Turn right, and about 200m later, bear left at the entrance to Stone Hill Farm. Pass a converted oasthouse, then veer slightly right on a descending concrete farm road with more splendid views to enjoy. At the end of the concrete a footpath continues ahead, tracing a natural hillside terrace and curving left above Britcher Farm. Through gates or over stiles, the way continues round the edge of fields, before climbing a short flight of steps to a country lane. Wander downhill with yet more wide views ahead. The lane bends to the right. Turn left by a rough drive in front of Greenhill House. Over a stile on the right, turn left and walk down the field edge to a second stile. Across a ditch bear right to yet another stile, then walk along the righthand edge of a large field divided by fences. On the far side come to a gate and a stile giving access to a meadow in which there’s a brickwalled barn. Bear right on a track, and a few paces later pass through another gate and over a stile on the left. Now keep to the left headland of a field, but about two thirds of the way along it, cross a plank footbridge on the left, then go half-right across a field corner to yet another stile. The way continues across a field towards The Onion magazine 35


Elvey Farm, then through the farmyard (this is now Elvey Farm Country Hotel) to a gate leading into a meadow. In the far righthand corner go through another gate, and after about 30m veer slightly right, then left to maintain direction. Soon pass through another gate on the left, but continue in the same direction along the right-hand field boundary. When this cuts back to the right, veer slightly right uphill to a bridle gate in a fence-enclosed field below a red tile-hung house. Through the field come to another bridle gate below and to the right of a line of Scots pine trees, and continue along the lower edge of a sloping meadow to a stony drive. This brings you into Pluckley where you bear left to complete the circuit. Attractively set among orchards on a brow of the Greensand Hills, Pluckley is said to be one of the most haunted villages in England. The church of St Nicholas dates from the 13th century and is built of Kentish ragstone with a broach spire that makes an effective landmark. Near the church a small square is overlooked by the Black Horse pub, whose arched, whitepainted windows were considered to be lucky by Sir Edward Cholmeley Dering, a local squire who had every house in Pluckley adapted to this design in the 19th century.

DISTANCE: 6.5 miles OS MAPS: OS Explorer 137 ‘Ashford, Headcorn, Chilham & Wye’ 1:25,000 REFRESHMENTS: Pubs in Pluckley, Little Chart and Egerton STARTING POINT: Pluckley playing field (grid ref 926455) ACCESS: Via Pluckley Road, about 3 miles/5km southwest of Charing; Nearest railway station: Pluckley (1.5 miles/2.5km) PARKING: With discretion in the village

Walk 22 from ‘Walking in Kent’ by Kev Reynolds published by Cicerone Press. www.cicerone.co.uk.

Neither the publisher nor the author can accept any responsibility for any changes, errors or omissions in this route. Diversion orders can be made and permissions withdrawn at any time.

Reach over 52,000 readers like these “Just read The Onion cover to cover - loved it - am going to do/read/buy everything. So entertaining, life-affirming and enjoyable - and it arrived by post! Genius.” - Alice Instone, Isle of Oxney “Thank you for producing such an interesting magazine. Keep it up.” - Roberta Boud “Tell Nick that I thought his piece on the Dixter meadows was really good. I’m sure it helped visitor numbers.” - Great Dixter “It was a huge success - over 5,000 people and queues to get in. Thank you for your publicity which certainly paid off.” - John Hare “The ad in The Onion was an instant success. The phone didn’t stop ringing.” - T Lawrence

Advertise in The Onion for as little as 1/10th penny per person reached. sales@onionpublishing.co.uk or telephone 01797 253668 36 The Onion magazine

onionmagazine.co.uk


<31

EXHIBITIONS … CONCERTS … FETES & FAIRS … CHARITY EVENTS .. THINGS TO DO

of Kent. Go along, see what they do, ask questions and drink coffee. http://wealdneighbourhoodwatch.org.uk

sussexwildlifetrust.org.uk/whatson or www.WildRye. info.

Wild Woodland Weekend Club Saturday 28 March 10:00 to 13:00 Monthly adventures in the woods for ‘Wild Things’ aged 6-11yrs; parents not allowed! Build dens, cook on a campfire, play in the mud, learn some woodcrafts and play games. Each month is a little different and a lot of fun. Held in a private woodland in Beckley, just outside of Rye. Meet on the last Saturday of every month at Swallowtail Hill Farm, Hobbs Lane, Beckley TN31 6TT. Booking essential. £10 per child (£8.50 for members of Sussex Wildlife Trust). For more information contact: Lime Kiln Cottage Information Centre on 01797 227784 or email rhnroffice@sussexwt.org.uk or see the websites www.sussexwildlifetrust.org.uk/whatson or www.WildRye.info.

The National Trust are organising Cadbury Easter Egg hunts and trails around Kent and East Sussex over Easter. Here are just some of the events:

World of Alpines, RHS Garden Wisley Sunday 29 March 10:00 to 16:00 Enjoy displays of alpine plants and bulbs as well as photographs and pictures of splendid alpines from around the world. www.rhs.org.uk/gardenswhatson. ‘Around Appledore’ with Northiam Footpath Group Sunday 29 March A 5 mile, grade 2 walk leaving Northiam Surgery car park at 1pm for 1.40pm start from Appledore Village Hall car park. For more information contact Sue Clark on 01797 253428. Wild Woodland Holiday Club Monday 30 March 10:00 to 15:00 Easter-themed fun for the ‘Wild Things’ at Swallowtail Hill with the annual egg-rolling competition, egg hunt, woodland crafts and much more. Take a packed lunch. Suitable for ages 6-11yrs. Parents/carers do not accompany children. Meet at Swallowtail Hill Farm, Hobbs Lane, Beckley, TN31 6TT. Booking essential. £20 per child non-Members, £17 per child SWT Members. For more information contact: Lime Kiln Cottage Information Centre on 01797 227784 or email rhnroffice@sussexwt.org.uk or see the websites www. sussexwildlifetrust.org.uk/whatson or www.WildRye. info. Explore the Shore Tuesday 31 March 13:00 to 15:30 Enjoy some family time exploring the beach, playing games, and having a go at some arts and crafts. Suitable for accompanied children aged 4-12yrs. Meet at Lime Kiln Cottage Information Centre. Booking essential. £3 per child. For more information contact: Lime Kiln Cottage Information Centre on 01797 227784 or email rhnroffice@sussexwt.org.uk or see the websites www. March 2015

Scotney Castle Daily from Friday 3 April to Monday 6 April 10:00 to 17:00 Normal admission charges apply, trails £2.50 per person. Sissinghurst Castle Daily from Friday 3 April to Monday 6 April 11:00 to 16:00 A Wind in the Willows themed Cadbury Easter Egg Trail. Follow Mole, Mr Toad and Ratty on an adventure around the wild woods. Plus giant games on the plain and wildlife bingo. Normal admission charges apply, trails £2.50 per person. Smallhythe Place Daily from Friday 3 April to Monday 6 April 11:00 to 16:00 Follow the white rabbit around the garden, find all the clues and work out the secret code at the end of the Cadbury Easter Egg Trail to claim a chocolate prize. Normal admission charges apply, trails £2.50 per person. Scent of Wisley, RHS Garden Wisley Daily from 4 April to 26 April Learn how to fill your house or greenhouse with scent and colour this spring. This display features large swathes of heavily scented Narcissus, Dianthus and other colourful flowering bulbs. Surprisingly, there will also be masses of Sweetpeas in full flower! www.rhs.org.uk/ gardenswhatson. Bodiam Castle Outlaw Academy Daily from Tuesday 7 April to Friday 10 April 11:00 to 16:00 Take part in a special outlaw academy. Learn how to live off the land and survive on the run from medieval justice. Normal admission charges apply. Tickets £6.50 per person (includes trail). Booking essential on 01580 831324. Jempson’s Charity Boot Fairs for 2015 All the money that is raised from the sale of the pitches at the Peasmarsh superstore car park is donated to local charities. The dates and beneficiaries for this year are: 6 April (Rye Bonfire Society); 4 May (Rye & District Community Transport); 25 May (Rother Responders); 31 August (Rye Day Centre). For more information contact Dominic. Dominic@jempsons.com. Telephone 01797 230214. The Onion magazine 37


VivaBusCardOutside.pdf

1

17/11/2014

Viva

BUSINESS CARDS

20:13

K

Dr Rebekah Gilbert

07974 001818 info@vivawellbeing.com www.vivawellbeing.com rebekah gilbert at vivawellbeing @vivawellbeing

MY

ProfDipLSSM HDipRSPH(Hons) DipsITEC IOSH

DProf MA LRAM(Hons) LLCM ProfCertRAM(Hons) ProfDipLSSM HDipRSPH(Hons) DipsITEC IOSH

CY

Very experienced, friendly, local References and Enhanced CRB

Call 07807 297595

20:13

Entrance Exams, etc FREE ASSESSMENT & CONSULTATION Ages 6 to 16, KS1 to GCSE In your home.

T.A. Lawrence 17/11/2014

TUTOR

Maths English & Science

Viva

1

www.paineandsonfencing.com

www.paineandsonfencing.com

07974 001818 info@vivawellbeing.com www.vivawellbeing.com rebekah gilbert at vivawellbeing @vivawellbeing

K

VivaBusCardOutside.pdf

07932 520783 • • DomEstic • EquEstrian 07932 520783 • EquEstrian DomEstic 07949 325828 • commErciaL • DEcking • commErciaL • DEcking 07949 325828 01580 880491 • agricuLturaL • LanDscaping • agricuLturaL • LanDscaping 01580A 880491 FAMILY RUN BUSINESS WITH 40 YEARS OF EXPERIENCE

CMY

Hedge Cutting & Lawn Mowing

Fully insured Tel: 01797 252132 Mob: 07974 545808

Blooming Marvellous Bespoke Floral Designs Benenden

It’s Mothering Sunday on March 15th Treat her with some blooming marvellous flowers Tel: 01580 388934 or 07717 495937 Email: claire@bmfloraldesigns.co.uk www.bmfloraldesigns.co.uk

For KS2 and KS3, 11+, SATS, General Support Competitive rates 1-1 programme in your own home Enhanced CRB checked

Phone Sue on 01797 252564

Great B&B in the heart of the French Pyrenees

Spar Stores Station Road, Northiam. For all your grocery needs.

20mins from Lourdes and an ideal base for walking, cycling and exploring this beautiful region. Friendly, helpful hosts and delicious evening meals. Tel: 00 33 5 62 91 21 98 www.allezpyrenees.com 38 The Onion magazine

Full Off Licence. Fresh Fruit & Vegetables. Local Organic Fruit & Veg Delivered Fridays. Fresh Bread Baked On Site Daily. Cut Flowers/Plants. National Lottery Outlet. Paypoint (Phone & Bill Payments) Open 7am to 8pm Monday to Saturday. 8am to 6pm Sunday.

Call 01797 252285 onionmagazine.co.uk

C

MY

Dr Rebekah Gilbert

CM

M

Clinical Sports, Remedial & Soft Tissue Massage Relaxation & De-stress Massage Dr Rebekah Gilbert Wellbeing Coaching DProf MA LRAM(Hons) LLCM ProfCertRAM(Hons)

Y

Y

M

CM

C

CY

f Paine Son Paine & & Son

CMY

ing specialists fenec ncing specialists

DProf MA ProfDipLSSM HDipRSPH(Hons) DipsITEC IOSH


WIN

WIN! WE HAVE 3 ‘THE VERY HUNGRY CATERPILLAR’ TABLEWARE SETS TO GIVE AWAY Celebrating its 45th anniversary, a wonderful new range of The Very Hungry Caterpillar products, based on the classic children’s picture book designed, illustrated and written by Eric Carle, is now available in store and online. The book is as loved today as it’s ever been and is frequently hailed the most read children’s book in the UK, so why not visit www. facebook.com/theworldofEricCarle for more info and fun! To celebrate, we’re offering 3 lucky readers the chance to win a fantastic Portmeirion The Very Hungry Caterpillar 3 piece tableware set with

WIN! WE HAVE 3 COPIES OF ‘NOW THAT’S WHAT I CALL LEGENDS’ TO GIVE AWAY

An icon, transcending popular music creates a true legend. Here are 2 CDs packed full of none other than the best musical legends of the past 30 years. This is not one to miss! NOW Legends features an all-star cast including Michael Jackson, Elvis Presley, Bob Dylan, Roy Orbison, Queen and many more. There are 42 tracks of legendary gold packed on to two magical disks. http://www.nowmusic.com/ For a chance to win a copy of ‘NOW That’s What I call LEGENDS’ please send your name and address to competition@onionpublishing.co.uk with NOW in the subject line. Winners will be drawn and notified after the closing date. The closing date is 27th March 2015.

a plate, bowl and mug. The set is perfect for breakfasts, lunches and dinners! Bright and bold, kids will absolutely love their meal times - not to mention the adults! Available at www.portmeirion.co.uk. For a chance to win a set please send your name and address to competition@onionpublishing.co.uk with HUNGRY CATERPILLAR in the subject line. Winners will be drawn and notified after the closing date. The closing date is 27th March 2015.

WIN! WE HAVE 5 COPIES OF THE COUNTRYSIDE COMPANION BOOK TO GIVE AWAY

Discover the beauty and richness of Britain’s varied landscape, plants and wildlife with this colourful, informative guide. Ideal for families, casual walkers and nature enthusiasts, The Countryside Companion provides context and background to common features and species, from add and alder to viper’s bugloss and yellowhammer. Find out how to read cloud formations and weather wisdom. Identifying common trees, flowers, mammals and birds. Price £11.99 and published by www. crimsonpublishing.co.uk, this is a Companion guide to the Pathfinder Guides Walks series. For a chance to win a copy of ‘The Countryside Companion’ please send your name and address to competition@onionpublishing.co.uk with PATHFINDER in the subject line. Winners will be drawn and notified after the closing date. The closing date is 27th March 2015.

Please enter as directed above. Postal entries can also be sent to us at the address given on page three.

TERMS & CONDITIONS OF ENTRY: By entering these competitions you agree to receive periodic emails from The Onion magazine, Onion Publishing Ltd and the originator of the competition you are entering. You can opt out of receiving these at any time and your data will never be passed on for use by third parties. The prizes are non-transferable and have no cash alternative. Only one entry per person per competition and prizes will only be sent to homes with a TN postcode.


Sponsored by:


Turn static files into dynamic content formats.

Create a flipbook
Issuu converts static files into: digital portfolios, online yearbooks, online catalogs, digital photo albums and more. Sign up and create your flipbook.