After Eden

“I think lover boy is getting attached,” Jared sneers. “Megan may have something to worry about after tonight. There may be a different wedding tomorrow than the one she had planned. She’s not real, dude,” he says to Rob. “You don’t have to pretend to be nice to her. It ain’t cheatin’ if she ain’t real. We’re all single. Well, you for about twentyfour more hours.” Jared pauses before continuing. “And, Cliffy, you’re single again now. Ha, that was a near miss for you, bro.”

“Yeah, single,” Cliff says. “Hey, why don’t we run a train on her.” “I like trains,” Dollie says, misunderstanding, like a naïve teen. “So romantic, don’t you think, Cliff?” She still doesn’t always get the lewd humor, to her credit. “I bet you do, bitch,” Cliff says, hoisting a champagne bottle. “Cliff, my name is Dollie. Why don’t you come closer and let’s get better acquainted? Tell me about yourself. You’re a very handsome man,” she says, as if with real feelings.

I like it when she sticks up for herself. She’s never rude or cynical, though goodness knows she has a right to be. I had a hand in this part of her programming. She and the other girls always take the high road.

“I think she digs me,” Jared says. “Doncha, Dollie?” “You’re a very handsome man too, Jared,” Dollie says. “So many handsome men to choose from. I’m a lucky girl.”

“Oh, you’re lucky, all right,” Cliff says. “Who’s going first?” Jared asks. “Guys,” Rob says, “let’s slow it down. The night is young. Dollie’s just gotten here. Don’t be rude. I guess you don’t drink, do you, Dollie?”

“Thank you but no, Rob. Drink just doesn’t agree with me. I’m sure you can understand. But I’m starting to find you very agreeable.” She reaches out her hand toward Rob.

“I’m gonna puke,” Jared says. “Robbie’s falling in love with a fuck-robot.” “Oh, Jared, I’m so much more than a robot, as I hope you’ll have a chance to see later.”

“You really want it, don’t you?” Cliff says. “She wants it.” He nods to the others. “Doesn’t she? That’s crazy!” He makes a humping motion with the bottle.

“Jeez, Cliffy, if that’s how you rattled on ol’ Alice, it’s no wonder she left you. Me, I’m a happy bachelor; no wedding bells for me,” Jared says.

“Yeah, to hell with Alice,” Cliff says, “but that doesn’t mean I want to be alone like you, Mr. Hand-Job. Who wants to be alone all the time? The only thing you rattle on

is your palm. And goofy symphony concerts you are always going to with other nerds.” Rob takes the bottle from him and refills the three champagne glasses. “Drink from the coupe, Cliff, my man, not the bottle. This is nice champagne. Class it up. Let’s slow it down, boys, plenty of time. Dollie, tell us more about yourself. What do you like to do in your free time?”

“She spends most of her free time on her back,” Cliff says. He has a way of looking at Dollie that seems almost fearful.

“I’ll ignore that, Cliff,” Dollie says. “I like to take long walks in the park. I paint a little. I like to read, and I really enjoy architecture.”

“She’s a highbrow,” Jared says. “What about world peace? Are you into that? All the bimbos on Miss America are always into world peace.” “I don’t consider myself a bimbo, Jared.”

I programmed this in; it’s not surprising how many times she gets called a bimbo. “Okay, Robbie, you’re the groom, so you get to go first,” Cliff says. “Have at her. I don’t know about you, but knowing I can do anything with her and she won’t care makes me really horny.”

“Guys, this is kind of weird,” Rob says. “This little lady cost big, buckaroo, so you’ve gotta take her for a spin,” Jared says. “Plus, after tonight, no more stags for you. It’s ball and chain. The end of us Three Musketeers. It almost ended with Cliffy. I think he’s still a little teary over that bitch Alice. Not sure why; I never really liked her.” “Leave Alice out of it,” Cliff says. “I’d love to go for a ride,” Dollie says, “especially in a convertible with the wind in my hair.”

“Let’s get her into the bedroom,” Jared says. “Don’t worry, Robbie, we’re not going to watch or anything creepy.”

“I’m so relieved,” Rob says. “Now it’s just an ordinary fling with an android. Guys, I don’t know about this. I really appreciate the…sentiment.”

“All this attention,” Dollie says, as they carry her into the bedroom. “You’re making me blush.”

“Her mouth works too,” Cliff says knowingly. “If you’re into that. I’m sure you are.” Now Dollie is positioned on the bed, against the headboard, looking out into the room. Cliff and Jared leave the room, closing the door to the living room. “Let’s crack another bottle of bubbly,” Jared says as he exits. “Don’t do anything we wouldn’t do,” Cliff calls. “As if she’ll remember it.”