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The Book of Proverbs

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mourning glass

mourning glass

almost physical sense of relief knowing the ride was almost over. Patrick slowed the car and turned onto the gravel road. The sign was old and crooked and it said “Campbell’s End.” That was mom’s maiden name. Two no trespassing signs were nailed to trees nearby and up ahead we could see a metal gate locked with a heavy padlock. “Pull up to the gate and I’ll get out,” dad said. “Got the key from one of those fuckers at the memorial service.” None of us said anything as Patrick slowly rolled the car to a stop right in front of the gate. Dad got out of his seat, shoulders stooped, and climbed between the bucket seats in the middle and hopped out. He stretched for a second, one hand on the small of his back, looking up at the sky. Then he walked over to the lock, pulled the key out of his pocket and unlocked it. He walked the gate open and waved us through. Pat pulled through slowly, driving with his hands so tight on the wheel it looked like he was going to snap it. Without dad in the car it was almost unbearable. Bryan so angry, Pat so desperate, and me so goddamn fucking sad. Even Lewis made it worse by refusing to talk to any of us, refusing to feel anything or admit that this was happening, that we were really saying goodbye. I wanted to throw up and I was ready, more than anything, to just get it all over with. And then dad got back in the car whistling. “Damn, felt good to stretch my legs for a second after all that sitting,” he said. “We’re almost there, though. Real close now. You’ll know it when you see it, Pat, it’ll be the end of the road.” So Patrick kept driving. We went maybe a mile and a half more over what was barely a road at all; the trees were so close sometimes the lowest branches nearly scraped the windows. And then, all of a sudden, the forest opened up, the road disappearing into dirt in front of a wall of trees. With a deep, expectant breath, Patrick turned off the car. None of us moved; it was a long, tense moment punctuated only by the ambient sounds of the forest around us. Then dad took a long, loud breath. He put on his cap and started humming. “Here we are, kids.” He got out of the car first, gesturing with a hand for the rest of us to follow. “There’s a path right through there,” he said. “Leads to a clearing. Just a quick stroll and then we’re ready.” Patrick got out of the car and after a second, I followed. We stood there waiting for the others until dad cleared his throat. Lewis pulled his headphones off and

HANNAH MADONNA 51

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