Destination Details You Will Want to Know Before Planning Your Wedding

The destination wedding has skyrocketed in popularity. And its appeal keeps growing. Everything about a destination wedding is different. As is your approach to planning it. And that already makes it unique and memorable.

Whether your wish is to have something formal or casual, you’ll find that in most cases a destination wedding can be cheaper than one in Ontario, or certainly no more expensive. The bonus is you can also have a vacation. For one thing, the guest list will probably be much shorter. For another, there are a lot of things you will not need — such as limo service, elaborate flowers and formalwear. It’s the ideal solution for the couple who want to get away with a few close friends and relatives for a combined celebration and vacation. It’s also a great option for the man and woman who want a wonderful wedding and a lavish honeymoon but cannot afford to do both.

THE GUEST LIST

Preparing the guest list for a destination wedding is not much different to preparing the guest list for a wedding in Ontario. The difference is, you can expect a lot more declines – up to 20 percent by some estimates vs. about 10 percent for a wedding at home.

Not everybody can afford the time off. Others will not be able to afford the travel costs. If you find that a lot of people who are important to you are intending to decline your invitation because of these reasons, you might consider going ahead with a foreign wedding for a few friends and close family but have a reception when you get back home.

Because people must make special arrangements to attend a wedding outside Canada, it is very important that you inform your relatives and prospective guests about your plans well in advance of sending out the formal invitations. This need be nothing more elaborate than an email or a telephone call.

Again because of the special arrangements that are required by those who will make the trip, your formal invitation packets must go out 6-8 months before the wedding.

WHO PAYS FOR WHAT?

Some couples pay for the wedding themselves with the parents kicking in for the rehearsal dinner, the post-wedding brunch, or flying in the officiant, if required. Others go the traditional route, with the bride’s parents paying for the reception and the groom’s family hosting the rehearsal dinner.

With the bridal party it is an entirely different matter. It is the responsibility of the bride and groom to pay for the accommodations for the wedding party – but not their travel

costs. You can communicate this information to them diplomatically by saying, “We’re getting married in Bermuda! If you can get yourself there, we’ll pick up the tab for your accommodations (we’ve rented an entire block of rooms so everyone can stay together). We hope you can come on Wednesday and stay until Sunday so you can have a little vacation at the same time.”

All other costs fall on the attendants themselves, and they need to know what total amount will be their responsibility before agreeing to participate. Prepare an overall estimate that includes airfare, lodging, attire, local transportation and anything else you will not be covering. Give people a few days to think about it. If any of them choose to decline, tell him/her that you’ll be disappointed but that you understand perfectly. As an alternative, suggest that they might just want to attend the ceremony and not be an attendant.

Guests, on the other hand, are expected to pay for their own travel and accommodation expenses.

CHOOSING A DESTINATION

In a huge and diverse country like Canada, you can have your destination wedding without leaving our home and native land. For many, however, a destination wedding means hot weather in a winter month and for that you need to go south.

In the Caribbean for example, many of the islands have everything in place for a destination wedding, as do many resorts. Before you pick a spot, decide whether you want placid or busy. Islands like Bermuda and Grenada can offer you quiet and privacy, while in places like Las Vegas, Puerto Rico and the Caymans the ambiance is gambling and nightlife.

Always ask if wedding packages are offered. And since you will be bringing many guests to that place, don’t be shy about requesting a discount on room rates. (It probably won’t be offered unless you do.) Also, if everybody books through the same travel agent it may be easier for your consultant to arrange a volume discount.

Another growing option is to get married aboard a cruise ship. Many of these huge vessels are equipped with chapels and wedding consultants, and have captains who can marry you. Caution: Before booking, confirm that the cruise line has the authority to perform shipboard marriages that will be recognized back in Ontario

Find a travel agent who specializes in destination weddings. There are some who also know how to go about finding officiants,

florists, bands, photographers and caterers. At a tropical destination always plan to have your ceremony in the morning when it’s cooler and there is lots of shade. And then you can have the rest of the day to celebrate your marriage.

Sunset ceremonies are romantic, but the light fades fast and you can lose the best light for your photographs. Plus you will be getting ready for your ceremony during the hottest part of the day.

USING A WEDDING PLANNER

When you get married outside Canada, a lot of the planning is taken out of your hands, which is where the stress relief comes in. Many hotel and island packages include everything, even the flowers, and have an on-site wedding co-ordinator to take care of the details.

If you do not have that option, it may be worth the money to hire a wedding co-ordinator at your location. She can look after all the details for you, exchanging information with you via phone or email. But give yourself a long timeline in order that you can send missing pieces. (It’s a good idea to fax her your documentation ahead of time so that she can start the paperwork on your licence.)

And be flexible. Many foreign destinations do not offer the same range of resources as back home. In most Caribbean islands and in Mexico, people work on island time. This can be frustrating for an A-type urbanite from Ontario.

Even with a planner looking after things at the site, many experts in the field recommend that you take at least one trip there in person so that you can check everything out firsthand and avoid unpleasant surprises on your big day.

PLANNING TIMELINE

A destination wedding needs a much longer planning timeline than one held in Ontario. For many resorts, weddings are not a massproduction process. They may permit only one wedding per day or even one per weekend. Therefore, you may have to be flexible about your wedding date.

In the Caribbean and the Gulf of Mexico, hurricane season is August to November – although islands like St. Lucia and others to its south are less affected. Always avoid Christmas and the school break months of February and March when most resorts are overrun with children.

Send out your save-the-date notices 8-12 months before the wedding and, as noted above, your formal invitation packets must go out 6-8 months in advance.

PAPERWORK AND LEGALITIES

Check with the country’s tourism authority, consulate or embassy in Toronto and ask about things like the cost of a marriage license, waiting periods, documentation required and whether or not you need a blood test.

If you plan on having a religious ceremony, find out ahead of time what sort of restrictions the officiant might have. For example, Roman Catholic priests often insist on giving premarital counseling even if it’s done by email.

You may need to bring certain documents that you would not need if you were getting married at home: - Birth certificate (authenticated) - Confirmation, baptism and pre-Cana records (for Catholic weddings) - Immunization and other health records - Passport Proof of economic solvency - Proof that you’re free to marry, such as a divorce decree or death certificate (authenticated and perhaps translated)

If you want to avoid all these hassles and are able to keep a secret, have a civil ceremony at home before you go. If any of the guests found out they might feel a bit cheated. In effect, the ceremonial wedding at your foreign destination is where you pledge to each other. The unpublicized courtroom procedure back in Ontario is just a legal formality.

SPECIAL CONSIDERATIONS

Invitations Since your guests and family will probably be spending several days at the destination, you have much information to convey about the location as well as the wedding and reception. You need something other than a simple folded card. Consider a trifold or a gatefold, or multiple cards stacked in a box.

how to replicate what she’s done either with the use of photographs or a map of your face. Must: Retail makeup artists are usually on commission so be prepared to buy at least two products to compensate her for her time.

Hair is typically simpler for a destination wedding – romantic, loose locks rather than an updo. Again, have your hairstylist at home teach you or one of your attendants how to recreate it for the wedding with the use of photographs. Or use them to guide a recommended stylist at your destination.

Men’s attire Island weddings usually call for something less formal – such as a nice linen suit or a shirt and trousers. If formalwear is called for, check with your on-the-scene wedding coordinator or your resort hotel for a rental shop that can be trusted. Or play it safe by renting at home and paying the extra cost to keep the duds with you for the extra days.

Officiant If it is difficult to find someone of your faith at your destination, you can fly one in from home. However, most people use a local interfaith minister or judge.

Photography If there is one thing couples might consider bringing from home, this is it. You will need to

pay for his/her travel, lodging and food costs (and possibly that of an assistant). Ask too if travel time is billed and at what rate. If your resort will recommend one, you might want to check out a local. Have the person email you samples of his/her work. Or check out his/her website.

Flowers You can get any flower you want anywhere in the world – if you are prepared to pay an arm and a leg. In the tropics, you are always better off going with local blooms.

Food Again, you can have anything you are prepared to pay for – but it’s always better and safer to choose the local cuisine.

Cake Multi-layered confections with lots of decorations will not survive tropical heat, so don’t even think about bringing a picture of something you saw back home and asking a local to duplicate it. Got to a local cake maker and ask what s/he’s best known for. Choose from that array.

Music In this case, it is always better to go local. After all, it’s the local ambiance that you want at your wedding. However, if you insist on Van Morrison or the Stones, hire a deejay.

Gown Choose one that can be folded, does not wrinkle excessively, isn’t too heavy, and won’t overheat you in the tropical sun. Will you be able to steam (never iron) it when you arrive? Choose a long veil rather than a train for the dress. If you’re flying, try to take an off-peak flight when you’ll have a better chance of getting an empty seat to carry your dress Most airlines charge you, but others may give you a break because you are a bride. As for shoes, think about the surfaces you will be walking on at the ceremony and reception sites (sand anyone?).

Hair and makeup Big hotels and resorts can usually hook you up with talented locals. If you don’t like the idea of dealing with strangers for your makeup, go to a local outlet at home and have the makeup artist teach you or one of your attendants

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