A Celebration of Our Multi-cultural Community
Content
Where We’re From
3
Some of The Great Things About Being A Third Culture Kid
28
Some of The Difficulties
40
Making it Work
47
Going ‘Home’
56
Where We're From 1
“A Celebration of Our Multi-cultural Community” by Students of Garden International School, Kuala Lumpur 2 Where We're From
Where We’re From
The Garden International School population is made up of a widely varied and frequently changing collection of Third Culture and Cross Cultural students from more than fifty different countries. Even our Malaysian children who are not cross cultural by ethnicity, become so in their thinking and understanding once immersed in our international community. Many third culture kids struggle with personal identity and a feeling that they don't really belong in one place, so answering the question “ where is home for you?” often elicits a complicated sentence, rather than the simple name of a city or country. Indeed many of our students chose to identify home as more than one place. This book celebrates their cultural diversity by sharing some of our primary students’ images of where they are from. The pictures were created between January and June 2011, as part of a project exploring how our multicultural students define their origins. Over the last three school years we have studied the effects of third culture living and run many workshops annually for staff and GIS families. The tips in this book are collected from these workshops, from the book Third Culture Kids: The Experience of Growing Up Among Worlds by David C Pollock and Ruth Van Reken, which is a highly recommended read for any third culture family, and shared by families I have worked with over the last four years.
Hazel McClure Head of Counselling
Where We're From 3
hita Ana
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Bord
is: ia name alays My : 6W s: M : India is ie is r s t n n or clas r cou as b My othe ry I w e t s n e u : India th co The rom is ed in f v li is o er India e als moth m is: y o I hav r m f try her is coun y fat The m y tr coun The
My name is: Jigs My class is: 6I
The country I was born is: Philippines
I have also lived in these other countries:
East-Timor and Malaysia
The country my mother is from is: Philippines The country my father is from is: Philippines
4 Where We're From
My name is: Zain Panayi My class is: 2I
The country I was born is: Brunei
I have also lived in these other countries: Brunei and Malysia
The country my mother is from is: Brunei
The country my father is from is: England Malaysia
Brunei
Where We're From 5
England
My name is: Georgina Perry My class is: 6L
The country I was born is: England
I have also lived in these other countries: Malaysia and Switzerland
The country my mother is from is: Malay / Chinese
The country my father is from is: England
Malaysia
My name is: Imesha My class is: 6I
The country I was born is: Sri Lanka
I have also lived in these other countries: Sri Lanka
The country my mother is from is: Sri Lanka 6 Where We're From
The country my father is from is: Sri Lanka
My name is: John Junior Granda My class is: 6I
The country I was born is: Malaysia
I have also lived in these other countries: South Africa, Austria, Philippines, Malaysia and Indonesia
The country my mother is from is: Philippines
The country my father is from is: Austria
Where We're From 7
ha : Imes ame is n y ka M i Lan : 6I is: Sr lass is s: n c r o y M sb untrie er co y I wa r h t t o n u e o s The c in the lived o ls a I have m is: is fro anka r L e i h r t o S m y my ountr c e h T : rom is anka r is f e h t a Sri L f y my ountr The c anka Sri L
8 Where We're From
My nam e is: Tim My cla ss is: 6 G The cou ntry I w as born is: Ame I have a rica lso lived in thes e other Singap countrie ore, US A and s: Malays The cou ia ntry my mother is from Singap ore is: The cou ntry my father is from Singap is: ore
: Taichi My name is : 6W My class is n is: Brazil y I was bor : The countr r countries these othe in d e liv o ls I have a Japan USA and : r is from is y my mothe The countr Japan : r is from is y my fathe The countr Japan
Where We're From 9
My name is: Noproud Cherehawankul My class is: 6L
The country I was born is: Thailand
I have also lived in these other countries:
Malaysia, Libya, England, Scotland and Indonesia The country my mother is from is: Thailand
The country my father is from is: Thailand My name is: Daniel Alexander Watson My class is: 6I
The country I was born is: Malaysia
I have also lived in these other countries: Russia, Romania and Switzerland The country my mother is from is: Malaysia
The country my father is from is: England
10 Where We're From
My name is: Shirin Abdolvahab My class is: 6L
The country I was born is: Austria
I have also lived in these other countries: Malaysia The country my mother is from is: Austria The country my father is from is: Iran
Where We're From 11
My name is: Jasmine Koh Wen Hui My class is: 6L
The country I was born is: Malaysia Japan, Brunei, China and Malaysia
The country my mother
is from is: Malaysia
The country my father
is from is: Malaysia
My name is: Annika Toma
My class is: 6L
The country I was born is: Austria I have also lived in these
other countries: Malaysia
The country my mother
is from is: Austria
The country my father
is from is: Germany and Iraq
12 Where We're From
My name is: Tae Hwan
My class is: 5S
The country I was born is: Korea
I have also lived in these other countries:
Malaysia
The country my mother is from is: Korea
Korea
The country my father is from is: Korea
Where We're From 13
irza is: Ariz M My name is: 6I sia My class is: Malay was born I y r t n ou The c these o lived in I have als ngland ntries: E other cou other try my m The coun ia : Malays is from is ther try my fa The coun ia : Malays is from is
My name is: Joshua
My class is: 6L
The country I was born is: Taiw an I have also lived in these other coun
tries: Taiwan, Hong Kong and Malays ia The country my mother is from is: Taiwan The country my father is from is: Taiwan
14 Where We're From
a shwariy me is: A a n y M apore L d Sing ss is: 6 n ia a la d c ia In y : s y M rn is s: Mala was bo countrie untry I r o e c h t e o h e T in thes is: India lso lived a e v a h is from I r e h t o ym is: India untry m is from The co r e h t a yf untry m The co
Where We're From 15
My name is: Akhil
My class is: 6L
The country I was born is: India
I have also lived in these other countries:
Malaysia
The country my mother is from is: Brunei
The country my father is from is: Tanzania
16 Where We're From
My name is: Imesha
My class is: 6I
The country I was born is: Sri Lanka
I have also lived in these other countries: Sri Lanka
The country my mother is from is: Sri Lanka
The country my father is from is: Sri Lanka
My name is: Eu-Wayne
My class is: 6S
The country I was born is: Malaysia
The country my mother is from is:
Malaysia
The country my father is from is:
Malaysia
My name is: Brian
My class is: 6L
The country I was born is: Malaysia
The country my mother is from is: Malaysia
The country my father is from is: Malaysia
Where We're From 17
ia Lim Soph : is ia name alays laysia My : 6L s: M : Ma is ie is r s t n n or clas r cou as b My ysia othe ry I w e t s n e Mala u h o : t c is e in Th from lived laysia also her is : Ma t e o is v m a m y o Ih is fr try m ther coun a e f h y T try m coun The
My name is: Qadira Razman-Hafidz
My class is: 4I
The country I was born is: Malaysia
The country my mother is from is: Malaysia The country my father is from is: Malaysia
18 Where We're From
My name is: Aina Farzana Amir Hamzah My class is: 4S
The country I was born is: Malaysia I have also lived in these
other countries: Malaysia The country my mother
is from is: UK
The country my father is from is: Malaysia
Where We're From 19
My name is: Sheersh Chetal My class is: 4I
The country I was born is: India
I have also lived in these other countries: Malaysia and India
The country my mother is from is: India The country my father is from is: India
My name is: Hamzah Patel My class is: 4W
The country I was born is: Singapore
I have also lived in these other countries: Malaysia, Singapore, Congo and Kenya The country my mother is from is: Singapore
The country my father is from is: Congo
My name is: Imesha
My class is: 6I
The country I was born is: Sri Lanka
I have also lived in these other countries:
Sri Lanka
The country my mother is from is:
Sri Lanka
The country my father is from is:
Sri Lanka 20 Where We're From
My name is: Min Sung Park My class is: 5K
The country I was born is: South Korea
I have also lived in these other countries: Malaysia
The country my mother is from is: South Korea
The country my father is from is: South Korea
Where We're From 21
My name is: Sheersh Chetal My class is: 4I
The country I was born is: India
I have also lived in these other countries: Malaysia and India
The country my mother is from is: India The country my father is from is: India
22 Where We're From
My na me is: D hanesh My cla ss is: 5 S The co untry I was bo rn is: M The co alaysia untry m y moth er is fr Switze om is: rland The co untry m y fathe r is fro Malay m is: sia
less : Alex Hart My name is : 4K My class is is: England I was born y tr n ou c e Th ntries: se other cou e th in d e liv I have also nd Spain America a is from is: my mother y tr n ou c e Th Spain
: r is from is y my fathe tr n ou c e h T d Ireland England an Where We're From 23
My name is: Adan My class is: 4S
The country I was born is: Malaysia The country my mother is from is: Malaysia
The country my father is from is: Canada
My name is: Emad My class is: 4K
The country I was born is: India
I have also lived in these other countries: Malaysia, Germany, Holand, Swtizerland and India
The country my mother is from is: India
The country my father is from is: India
24 Where We're From
My name is: Vicky My class is: 4S
The country I was born is: Malaysia
The country my mother is from is: South Korea The country my father is from is: South Korea
Where We're From 25
Malaysia asha e is: Nat My nam s is: 4S sia My clas is: Malay as born w ia I y r t n : Malays The cou is from is r e h t o m try my is: UK The coun r is from e h t a f y try m The coun
26 Where We're From
My name is: Shouna Murase
My class is: 3W
The country I was born is: Malaysia
I have also lived in these other countries:
Japan, USA, Singapore, Malaysia and Hong Kong
The country my mother is from is: Malaysia
The country my father is from is: Japan
My name is: Imesha
My class is: 6I
The country I was born is: Sri Lanka
I have also lived in these other countries:
Sri Lanka
The country my mother is from is:
Sri Lanka
The country my father is from is:
Sri Lanka
Where We're From 27
Some of the great things about being a third culture kid: having opportunities to see the world firsthand and learn about it personally in and out of the classrooms. Having a ‘hands on’ or ‘real’ education in geography, history, basic anthropology, social studies and language acquisition. being more confident about the world and how it works. learning to think from a global perspective and develop understanding and empathy with others from all over the world. learning to cope with a range of experiences and develop confident coping and problem solving skills for all sorts of issues. developing higher order social skills based on cross cultural experience. recognising, accepting and celebrating individual differences. learning through going to school with children of other races and cultures that friendship and respect have nothing to do with skin colour or cultural differences. developing a strong network of friends and contacts from all over the world. feeling quite comfortable with adults because generations usually mix much more in third culture communities. being able to think critically and choose responsibly. develop empathy and respect for others.
28 Where We're From
My name is: Pranit Singh
My class is: 3L
The country I was born is: India
I have also lived in these other countries:
South Korea, Singapore, India, Malaysia and
Dubai (United Arab Emirates)
The country my mother is from is: India
The country my father is from is: India
My name is: Jazmin
My class is: 3L
The country I was born is: Singapore
I have also lived in these other countries:
Singapore and Malaysia
The country my mother is from is: India
The country my father is from is: Denmark Where We're From 29
My name is: Faizaan
My class is: 3L
The country I was born is: Malaysia
I have also lived in these other countries:
Canada, Pakistan and Malaysia
The country my mother is from is:
Pakistan / Canada
The country my father is from is:
Pakistan / Canada
My name is: Georgina Hooper
My class is: 3G
The country I was born is: England
I have also lived in these other countries:
New Zealand and Malaysia
The country my mother is from is:
England
The country my father is from is:
England
30 Where We're From
My name is: Sebastian
My class is: 3G
The country I was born is: Romania
I have also lived in these other countries:
England, Malaysia, Scotland, Germany, Italy, France,
Romania and Singapore
The country my mother is from is:
Romania
The country my father is from is:
Romania
Where We're From 31
ny : Sun is e e nam apor My 3G Sing : : is ies: is orn untr o b class c s y r e wa M e oth try I thes coun ia e in h T alays lived hina dM also n a e is: C v e r m o o I ha r p ada is f inga Can : a, S ther o is in m h y C from try m her is t coun a e f h y T try m coun The
My name is: Adam Felix Oscar Sandell
My class is: 3K
The country I was born is: Sweden
I have also lived in these other countries: Malaysia and Norway
The country my mother is from is: Norway
The country my father is from is: Sweden 32 Where We're From
My name is: Sawati Sahde v My class is: 3I
The country I was born is: India I have also lived in these
other countries: Malaysia The country my mother
is from is: India
The country my father is from is: India
My name is: Imesha
My class is: 6I
The country I was born is: Sri Lanka
I have also lived in these other countries: Sri Lanka
The country my mother is from is: Sri Lanka
The country my father is from is: Sri Lanka
GIS Kids Culture 33
My name is: Adan Au-Yeung My class is: 3K
The country I was born is: Malaysia
I have also lived in these other countries: Canada
The country my mother is from is: Malaysia
The country my father is from is: Canada
My name is: Hanna My class is: 3I
The country I was born is: Malaysia
I have also lived in these other countries: Malaysia
The country my mother is from is: England
The country my father is from is: India
34 Where We're From
Germany
My name is: Denis Eserman My class is: 3I
The country I was born is: Malaysia
I have also lived in these other countries:
Germany, India, Switzerland and Malaysia The country my mother is from is: Malaysia
Germany
The country my father is from is: Germany
Where We're From 35
My name is: Enrico Siidharth Rao My class is: 3I
The country I was born is: Indonesia
I have also lived in these other countries: India, Indonesia and Malaysia
The country my mother is from is: Indonesia The country my father is from is: India
36 Where We're From
My name is: Na tasha My class is: 31
The country I wa s born is: Malay sia I have also lived in these other co untries: Malaysia, Engla nd and Wales The country my mother is from is: Malaysia
The country my father is from is: England
l Graham : Evan Safa My name is : 2K My class is n is: Oman y I was bor ies: The countr other countr d in these e liv o ls a I have ong Kong iland and H Oman, Tha : r is from is y my mothe The countr Nepal
: r is from is y my fathe The countr Wales
Where We're From 37
My name is: Megan Jones My class is: 2K
land The country I was born is: Eng is: The country my mother is from Ireland
is: The country my father is from Wales
My name is: Spandan Bis was My class is: 6I
The country I was born is: India I have also lived in these
other countries: Malaysia The country my mother
is from is: India
The country my father is from is: India
38 Where We're From
My name is: Robert My class is: 2L
The country I was born is: England The country my mother is from is: England
The country my father is from is: England
Where We're From 39
Some of the difficulties losing friends and support networks repeatedly feeling hesitant or struggling to settle into a new country and make new friends having no extended family nearby and losing the sense of belonging to one feeling different socially from peers who have not left home, due to life experience and personal maturity a lack of roots/sense of home loss of personal identity – confusion over who they are and where they are from after multiple moves feelings of not fitting in wherever they are occasionally difficulty with commitment expatriate mums operating without their usual home/support system expatriate dads frequently absent, travelling for work away from their family development of parenting consistency issues from the “Santa Claus Syndrome” of frequently travelling dads transient friendships and relationships for everyone in the family difficulty with acceptance for ‘reformed’ families in some countries, where divorce, remarriage or single parenthood may not be common lack of cultural identity/lack of knowledge about their “own country” – including sometimes lack of competence in their home language differences between cultural expectations within the family home and at the international school difficulty transitioning back into the local school system in their home country on return possible loss of options for college or opportunity to return to study/work in their home country
40 Where We're From
My name is: Hantze Liow
My class is: 2L
The country I was born is: Singapore
I have also lived in these other countries:
Indonesia and Singapore
The country my mother is from is: Malaysia
The country my father is from is: Malaysia
Malaysia
My name is: Rory Lange
My class is: 2S
The country I was born is: Hong Kong
I have also lived in these other countries:
Malaysia and Hong Kong
The country my mother is from is: England
The country my father is from is: England
Where We're From 41
My name is: Ishan Chander Bhanot
My class is: 2S
The country I was born is: Malaysia
The country my mother is from is: Sinapore
The country my father is from is: Malaysia
My name is: Caroline Brendberg Andersen
My class is: 2S
The country I was born is: Denmark
I have also lived in these other countries: Malaysia
The country my mother is from is: Denmark
The country my father is from is: Denmark
42 Where We're From
My name is: Gian
My class is: 2K
The country I was born is: Korea
I have also lived in these other countries:
Malaysia
The country my mother is from is: Korea
The country my father is from is: Korea
Where We're From 43
My name is:
Isabela Jungweira Nogueira Montarboyos
My class is: 2M
The country I was born is: Brazil
The country my mother is from is:
Brazil
The country my father is from is:
Brazil
My name is: Maho Kuboi
My class is: 1/2M
The country I was born is: Japan
The country my mother is from is:
Japan
The country my father is from is:
Japan
44 Where We're From
My name is: Etienne Maille
My class is: 1/2M
FRANCE
The country I was born is: France
The country my mother is from is:
France
The country my father is from is:
France
Where We're From 45
New Zealand
Malaysia
My name is: Adam Suardi
England
My class is: 2S
The country I was born is: England
I have also lived in these other countries: New Zealand and England
The country my mother is from is: New Zealand
46 Where We're From
The country my father is from is: Indonesia
Making it work: Tips to help families build a successful TCK experience Set aside special times for family and make family traditions. Ensure that your family retains it’s family identity in each new world. Prioritising the needs of the family will help reassure the children feel secure in this different world. Creating new traditions over time normalizes this experience and can help reassure children of the validity of their new life. Maintain affection between parents where possible when the children are around. This is reassuring to children that ‘all is still OK’ during the confusing adjustment period in a new country. Similarly a show of commitment to each other as parents and to each other’s viewpoints helps reassure unsettled children. Respect and support for each other send strong ‘safety’ messages to children. Build strong ties with the local community. Help your family to connect and feel a part of the local and/or the 3rd culture community. Build strong ties with relatives back home. Maintain these relationships to minimize losses to the children and to help them feel they still belong to an extended family. Build strong ties with new [and old] friends. Relationships are important for self-esteem, reassurance, regulation of social norms in this new setting and self confidence as well as company. Help children find identity in being a Third Culture Kid. Research this with them explore the unique benefits of belonging to this ‘tribe’. Encourage older children to find their own meaning in this and connect with other TCKs. ( eg through websites and forums). Return to the same ‘home’ perodically . Provide children with a ’root/homebase’. Tour when travelling between countries. Enjoy the opportunities provided by being in such a different place for a while.
Explore and become involved in the local surroundings. Enjoy the opportunity to explore the area and help the family feel connected to it as well as develop cultural understanding. Acquire ‘sacred objects/souveniers’ in your family from each country. Help to give this experience a legitimate and permanent place in everyone’s memory. Allow children to choose some specific objects to bring with them that will help them develop a new feeling of home as quickly as possible. Posters are lightweight to pack and help children take ownership of their new bedroom quickly. Some children find it helpful to develop family rituals to help mark losses when they leave each country. [eg children visiting each favourite play place before they leave to ‘say goodbye’ or keeping a scrapbook or photo album of places/things]. TCK children face repeated losses of people and places over years so managing these effectively can be extremely important. A good mentor is important in each new country for children [and adults!] to help everyone settle in. A friend in school for the children and some adults who have had a similar experience and can share their knowledge and personal tips with you. Be ready to help your younger child take part in their new social circle at school. If playdates are the ‘preferred’ way for children to socialize in their new school community, enabling them to join in will help them make friends [and mentors] faster. Try not to anxiously ‘hang around’ when you drop off your child to their new school in the mornings, or to ‘overhelp’ them with the ‘settling in’ process. The anxiety may be yours and not theirs, whilst your presence there may additionally be sending a message to other children that your child is not free to play. Where We're From 47
My name is: Se Wan My class is: 1S
The country I was born is: South Korea The country my mother is from is: South Korea
The country my father is from is: South Korea
48 Where We're From
My name is: Yamato Obinata My class is: 1M
The country I was born is: Japan
I have also lived in these other countries: Indonesia
The country my mother is from is: Japan
The country my father is from is: Japan
My name is: Mao Kishimoto My class is: 1M
The country I was born is: Japan
I have also lived in these other countries: Japan
The country my mother is from is: Japan
The country my father is from is: Japan
Where We're From 49
n e Hue is: Le e m a My n 1M ss is: Korea My cla orn is: b s a tries: w r coun try I e n h u o t o c e The in thes o lived ls a e v I ha is: sia is from Malay other m y m untry The co Korea om is: r f a e is r er Ko y fath ntry m u o c e Th
n der Tuxe : Alexan is e m a n My s is: 1M enmark My clas born is: D s a w I y r t untries: The coun other co e s e h t o lived in I have als Malaysia bia and a r A i d u Sa from is: other is m y m y r t The coun k Denmar from is: father is y m y r t The coun k Denmar 50 Where We're From
oh alak No me is: M a n y M n ss is: 1G : Jorda My cla born is s s: a w I countrie untry The co e other s e h t in lso lived I have a alaysia : and M from is Jordan other is m y m y untr The co ordan om is: J r f is Jordan r y fathe untry m The co Where We're From 51
My name is: Joshua Dylan Citrin My class is: 1W
The country I was born is: Malaysia The country my mother is from is: Malaysia
The country my father is from is: USA
My name is: Aayush Pandey My class is: 1K
The country I was born is: India
I have also lived in these other countries: Singapore and Malaysia
The country my mother is from is: India
The country my father is from is: India 52 Where We're From
My name is: Yasmin Kiara Desouza My class is: 1K
The country I was born is: Malaysia The country my mother is from is: England
The country my father is from is: England
Where We're From 53
Qatar
Izzalia me is: alaysia a n y nd M M a r e r a S o t a 4 ap ss is: bai, Q : Sing s: Du My cla ie born is r t s n a u w I co other ountry ysia The c these in : Mala d e is v li m o o r als er is f nd I have Engla y moth m y r om is: t r n f u o is c er The y fath try m n u o c The
Dubai
54 Where We're From
Malaysia
ornfoot My name is: Isla C My class is: 1K born is: Thailand The country I was tries: these other coun I have also lived in and Malaysia Belgium, Thailand cotland ther is from is: S The country my mo gland ther is from is: En The country my fa
My name is: Matthew
My class is: 5K
The country I was born is: Malaysia
The country my mother is from is:
Malaysia
The country my father is from is:
Malaysia
Where We're From 55
Going ‘home’ Many Third Culture Kids feel relief on discovering that they have a group identity as a TCK or Global Nomad. They will always be a TCK, even after returning to their home country because at least some of their developmental years were spent in a 3rd culture environment. Their friends at home are unlikley to be TCKs and the difference in ways of thinking can cause TCKs to feel that they are a misfit within their home culture. The tips below have been shared by other families who have returned to their home countries. Make contact with other TCK families in your home country, or other families who have made a similar move to share experiences and advice, discuss dilemmas. This can help children feel less unusual and maintain some friends who understand their more global ways of thinking. TCK webs can be a source of contact through their online forums, and a source of reassurance that other people feel the same way. Set aside special times for your family and make family traditions. Ensure that your family retains it’s family identity in each new country – including your home country. Creating new family traditions over time spent in different countries, normalises this experience and can help reassure children of the validity of their unique life. Build strong ties with the new community. Help your family to connect and feel active and valued parts of the local community. Build strong ties with new [and old] friends. Relationships are important for self-esteem, reassurance, regulation of social norms in this new setting and self confidence as well as company. Display your ‘sacred objects/souveniers’ from each country at home. It helps to keep memories alive and shows that the time abroad was a valid and permanent part of your family‘s history. While the time abroad may be short in adult years, it is likely to have been a large percentage of the child’s life. Some children find it helpful to develop family rituals to help mark losses when they leave each country. [eg children visiting each favourite play place before they leave to ‘say goodbye’ or keeping a scrapbook or photo album of places/things]. TCK children face repeated losses of people and places over years so managing these effectively can be extremely important. A good mentor back home is vital for children [and adults!] to help everyone settle in. A friend in school for the children and some adults who have had a similar experience and can share their knowledge and personal tips with you. The chosen mentor also needs to understand that part of the mentoring process is helping the TCK learn the basic survival skills for this culture. These should include new technologies [like how to use the local cell phone system and other pop culture tools] and updating on significant changes in youth culture.
56 Where We're From
Be ready to help your younger child take part in their new social circle at school. Try to create opportunites for them to socilaise with any other TCK families occasionally. This will help both parents and children share and value their experiences abroad while reassuring children there are other kids around who think like they do. Remember not to anxiously ‘hang around’ when you drop off your child to their new school in the mornings, or to ‘overhelp’ them in settling in. Most TCKs returning home already have adequate skills for this task.
Don’t forget to share any other tips you find useful with your school counsellors so they may pass these on to other families in the future.
Where We're From 57
58 Where We're From
e r u ult C ird ds h T Ki