A Tribute to Benjamin D. Williams IV

By Charlotte Brownlee '85

After almost 20 years, I can’t really recall exactly how many times I have been summoned to Mr. Williams’ office the morning after a Discipline Committee meeting to support an advisee as they met their fate, but let’s just say it has been more than just a handful. Most of those DC’d would tell you that the two scariest moments were facing the panel of their peers and teachers in the DC itself and sitting in those oversized chairs waiting to go into Mr. WIlliams’ office. For most students it is the first time they have ever stepped into his office with that giant desk and Mr. Cate’s saddle in the corner. If you haven’t ever been inside, it’s less like Principal Rooney’s in Ferris Bueller’s Day off, and much more like Dumbledore’s – it is definitely a thing of movies and novels. However, what those seemingly unlucky students would also likely tell you is that they were met by Mr. Williams with a humanity – a grace – that left them wanting to work towards redemption. Towards finding their way again. Not to hit the river metaphor straight away, but Ben is like a master river guide, calmly and expertly steering these capsized kids through Class 5 rapids.

I often wonder what it would be like to have a heart as immense as Ben Williams’. While, yes, on one level I mean that in the literal sense, more importantly I mean it in the way that Ben uses that huge heart of his to love. I think we all see the delight he takes in each of you and your contributions to this community. But less obvious is the way he loves each of you, flaws and all. The great Fred Rogers once said, “I don’t think anyone can grow unless he’s loved exactly as he is now, appreciated for what he is rather than what he will be.” Ben Williams demonstrates that difference – by accepting rather than judging – as he celebrates all of you for who you are today. In those post-DC conversations, Ben is one of the greatest listeners there is. Students have told me they feel more seen and understood – more listened to – by Mr. Williams than by anyone else in the process. He doesn’t see you as your worst moments but instead for your potential. Ben wrote about not subscribing to the “fallacy of an error-free life” in a 2015 Notebook where he said “To trust them and to teach them is the only way to honor not only who they are but also who and how they ultimately will be.” That, my friends, is truly the magic of Ben –and by extension of his school. He has given you the space – and the grace – to fall down, get up, and do it better the next time. And he recognizes that this is exactly what it means to grow up.

Like Mr. Cate, Ben came to Carpinteria from the East (with a much–discussed Texas pit stop). Yet while Mr Cate clung to his Anglo roots, you could argue that Ben happily embraced the allure of the West and never looked back – well, one notable exception might be his affection for his bow ties. But, I don’t know anyone else who so delights in a 20-hour road trip across six states in the West to his oasis in Montana that he is willing to do it several times each year. And I am not simply talking about his love of a long drive, a great pair of boots or his 10 ton truck. In larger and more meaningful ways Ben embodies the immensity of the Western experiment –while obvious in his stature, it is found more importantly in his expansive understanding of human nature. There’s an idea that when the traditions or institutions of the East intersect with the wildness of the West, they take on a uniquely American quality. Ben has helped our school become a shining example of the Western mindset – full of possibility, a place for trial and error where we are all somewhat less burdened by the expectations of tradition. The West – and California in particular – is often seen as a place for rebirth – for reimagining all that we might become. Perhaps California was simply destiny for Ben – a place that supports his personal philosophy around growth and redemption.

As we move through this day of celebration, I am sure others will speak of Ben and his love of dogs, fishing, and most importantly, Ginger, but I want to talk a bit about his faith. One has to be optimistic to want to lead a school – there isn’t much room for cynicism when you are dealing with teenagers. If you’ve been at any of his admission talks through the years, you may well have heard Ben quote Steve Case of AOL fame – “The main thing should always be the main thing.” But what is the main thing here? Education? Growth? Care? I would wager that what Ben means is that our students are always the main thing. And he has faith that if we always put them at the center of our decision making, we can’t go too far astray. He also has faith in the wisdom of our teachers. Ben has a beautiful way of not making things all about him. He lets others shine. He has faith, albeit sometimes unmet, that if given the chance, people will do the right thing.

After our son Harry graduated (and I use that term loosely, as his commencement was on zoom during the Covid times of May 2020), my husband Alex wrote a note to Ben thanking him for making a Cate education possible for both Charlie and Harry. Alex wrote to him, “thank you for offering the gift of Cate to two boys who, in their own ways, and whether they knew it or otherwise, really needed Cate School.”

In his inimitable way, Ben wrote back to Alex saying, “It is unreasonable to believe that any of our young people will recognize while they are in an experience like the one they live at Cate, just how impactful it is and will be. Education, after all, is about faith. Some day our students and our children will understand what it all means.”

The other night we held an alumni gathering in downtown Los Angeles. Almost a hundred people turned out for it, and of those, more than a handful had been that student in Mr. Williams’ office the morning after a DC. Those alumni hug Ben, laugh about those experiences, and then inevitably tell him about the interesting things they are doing with their lives, and how that moment in his office was so often a pivot point for them in their growing up.

I wonder if any of us will be able to fully understand and express the impact Ben Williams has had on Cate – and on all of us. If education really is all about faith, how fortunate we are to have been led by someone who believed in all of us so steadfastly – and believed in all that our school could be. In those post-DC morning meetings, Ben encourages students to embrace their own power and possibility – to recognize that they are not damned to be the sum of their worst moments, but instead that they can choose to steer their course and build the life they seek. That optimism – that hope – is Ben Williams’ special magic. I think it is the essence of his soul, that – like a river – runs through him with relentless steadiness from a mysterious source.

As our students who just performed Chicago might tell you, one of the heartbreaking things about doing theater is that you put on a show and then –poof – it’s over. The days and nights of rehearsal. The hard moments when you think it will never come together – and then – like we saw this past Family Weekend – the absolute triumph of shared joy with the performers and audience. Ben, for the past 25 years you have produced, directed, starred in, and of course authored an unforgettable 25 year production. But, unlike a show, you leave behind something far more lasting and tangible. It is said “we are, in the end, a measure of the love we leave behind.” The immensity of all that you have given – the faith and the love – is indeed as vast and enduring as your beloved rivers.

Chatom Arkin '01

Ben Williams and I both started at Cate in the fall of 1998. The poor school had no idea what it was in for by bringing us together that September! I still remember the awe that accompanied meeting the physically imposing and sonorous Mr. Williams. As a “green” kid from the country, I knew that I would learn so much from this leader.

I truly valued my two and a half years with Ben Williams while I attended Cate. I loved how actively he engaged with us as students. We both had an affinity for throwing frisbees, and we competed against each other in the final group of Dohrmann Pischel Open championship my junior year. He also taught me the game “tips”, which I still play to this day. As a new student to the school, I appreciated how much he put himself out there to meet his student body. I followed his lead – adopting some of the same bravery – and joined the musical, played volleyball, and engaged in community service. The contagious example he set provided me with a path that helped make Cate my new home.

I was expelled from Cate the second day of my final semester. Obviously, the event changed my life forever. And while I remember the day and the subsequent days so vividly, I also remember how Ben never made me feel like a bad person. My girlfriend, and now wife, was a year below me, and I would visit the school frequently during her senior year (after my expulsion). Ben always made me feel welcome. He would ask how school was going or how my parents were. And, he would remind me to be good to Emily and get off campus on time. His kindness towards me made me feel like I was still part of the Cate family. I had made a bad decision, but I was not a bad person.

I have always appreciated Mr. Williams’ unremitting display of courtesy towards me. It has helped shape me into the person I am today. I strive to be forgiving, understanding, and accepting. As an educator, I understand that kids do what kids do, and they need to be held accountable for their actions. But, they are children, and tomorrow is a new day. I have Ben’s precedence to thank for that. Thank you, Ben. Thank you for being part of my life and part of my journey. I hope you and Ginger enjoy retirement and never forget the profound mark you left on so many of us.

Drew Casertano, HEADMASTER, MILLBROOK SCHOOL 1990 -2021

My relationship with Ben began as fellow heads attending various professional meetings together, including as board members of The Association of Boarding Schools (TABS). From there, it became a candid and collaborative professional relationship, which then grew into a warm personal friendship that came to include Ginger and my wife, Linda, and two of our three sons who were fortunate to receive some career counseling from Ben.

Based on that experience, I would label Ben’s legacy as one of sharing and service. Of course, he is warm and caring, resilient and optimistic, authentic and forthright, and insightful and wise. He loves to laugh, at himself especially. And all those qualities are expressed through his willingness to share them and to serve the greater good. The Cate community, starting with its students, is so much the better as a result. So, too, is the boarding school world, as Ben has successfully led the TABS board through challenges and change. And the same is true for my family and me as a result of our enduring friendship.

Bravo Ben…and Ginger! And thank you.