4 minute read
“Direct Funerals”
from The Catholic Post July 23
by CathCom
Funeral directors no doubt find themselves these days arranging an increasing number of funerals where there is no connection with “church” and have no problem with whatever form a funeral takes
Recent developments within the funeral business could create problems for Catholics attracted by promotional advertisements on television but who would want to have a funeral according to the rites of the Church.
The focus of many of the adverts is guilt: persuading parents (especially in their elder years) to pay for their funeral themselves so as not to burden their children with “unnecessary costs”. But why should they feel guilty? Whatever money they spend in paying for their funeral in advance is that much less that their children will inherit after they have died. Either way it’s money their children aren’t going to receive. Also how much has it cost parents over the years to raise their children, and so why should they feel guilty about them having to pay their parents’ funeral costs?
Currently there are at least two funeral companies advertising simple, direct cremations, but they are a little short on detail other than that they cost less than the price of an average traditional funeral. What these companies are offering is what they call “unattended direct cremation”, “cremation without ceremony”, or “fuss-free funerals”. What it means is that the company will collect the body of the deceased and take it directly to a crematorium of their choice where, presumably as soon as the existing schedule allows, it will be cremated but with no mourners present and no one actually conducting the funeral. One website describes it as being “for people who don’t like funerals”. Who does? But whether we do or we don’t, a funeral is important socially and emotionally, in many cases also spiritually, providing a way of respectfully saying our goodbyes as a basic part of the process of mourning.
While I can understand a family opting for cremation over burial for financial reasons, I don’t understand why anyone would choose to have a funeral director take the deceased away and to then have nothing more to do with them. Have we become so impersonal that we really don’t want to have our day spoiled by having to attend a funeral of a parent? Is this the measure of our love and regard for the person who has died – to want a funeral without any “fuss”? Some of the companies do offer the option of an “attended funeral” – a slightly more expensive option of a committal attended by a very limited number of mourners but, again, with no one officiating.
And this points us to how and why these companies can offer their services as inexpensively as they do. I presume they have a business premises somewhere, but it doesn’t have to be up to much because family members never go there - everything is arranged over the phone. They don’t have to have chapels of rest because the deceased is taken directly to the crematorium – the adverts even refer to the cost including “emergency collection” by which I presume they mean the body being collected as soon as possible (which funeral directors would do anyway) so families don’t have a dead body in the house any longer than necessary (God forbid!). They don’t have to hold a stock of perhaps expensively priced coffins as regular funeral companies do. They don’t have to invest in hearses and limousines but simply operate “specialist ambulances” – basically black vans. Staff is also at a minimum because no pall bearers are required.
Funeral directors no doubt find themselves these days arranging an increasing number of funerals where there is no connection with “church” and have no problem with whatever form a funeral takes. However, when it comes to a Catholic funeral, the priest is responsible for all aspects that have to do with the Church’s rites and funeral directors can sometimes forget that that is the case. It can be very difficult when a funeral director contacts the priest and starts telling him the arrangements they have already made with the family.
The pastoral problems that can arise with funeral planning all too often result from current Church practice having not been explained to people as well or as often as it should have been despite the fact that (at the time of writing) it is more than thirty years since the “new” rite was introduced. There is then a risk of ill-feeling being created and even greater upset caused when, upon being called following a death or meeting with the family later to plan the funeral, the priest is faced with having to explain why things are done the way they are, or why the Church doesn’t do what the family may be asking. In the case of families who regularly practise their faith, there is always the hope that they are aware of these things and therefore the priest won’t be put on the spot in that way. However it can be extremely difficult if family members (especially those who are not church-going) are unfamiliar with what the Catholic Church does and they make requests influenced by what they want or what they may have seen done elsewhere, rather than accepting the guidance of the priest on what can and can’t be done according to the funeral rites of the Catholic Church if a Catholic funeral is what they want.
One of the companies actually says in their advert: “The choice is completely up to you, whether you wish to arrange a traditional funeral service or would prefer something a bit different, such as a colourful funeral”. I’m not sure I even know what they mean by that, but it probably wouldn’t be anything that the Catholic Church’s Rite of Christian Funerals permits. The Church has nothing against celebrating a person’s life, but it’s a matter of doing it in a way that also reverently celebrates their life in Christ. My fear is that Catholics watching these adverts may not realise that what they are being persuaded to consider is not compatible with the funeral rites of the Church. Please, therefore, consult with your parish priest first before making any commitments, or signing up to any funeral plans, in order to ensure that what you are requesting is going to be possible if you are planning on a Catholic funeral.
In short, these “unattended direct cremations” (“cremations without ceremony”, “fuss-free funerals”) aren’t an option within the funeral rites of the Church. If expense is a legitimate concern, decisions and choices regarding the various aspects and components of the services being offered by a funeral company should be made objectively rather than emotionally or out of guilt. Better yet, make them in discussion with family members ahead of time when you can think more clearly - and, again, don’t leave your parish priest out of the picture.