What Are You Called to Die To?

By: Kim Long, Saint Mary of the Pines, Director of Religious Education

WHEN THE DEATHS began in my family, they seemed to stretch over a twenty-nine month period; one after the other, in a rapid succession of grief, the eternal search for a pair of hose with no runs, rosaries, kleenex and a tearful belief that death is not the end.

On some level I knew it - embracing it however was much more difficult. Years later I wondered what I was clinging so tightly to that made that embrace seem not only impossible but in some ways traitorous to the memory of my own beloved.

Last week I was leading an RCIA session when a memory surfaced about death other than a physical one. In the 1980s I was an RCIA candidate, journeying toward full communion. There was a popular phrase meant to lead us to the concept of examining what no longer served us in our lives as we walked the path to a Catholic understanding of life and God and ourselves. We were asked, “what are you being called to die to?” I was young with small children and the phrase put me off. Over time I embraced the concept and have “died” many times to behavior, attitudes, and thoughts. At other times I have run hard in the other direction, not ready to change; transformation seemed both unwelcome and unnecessary.

When I became Catholic, I prayed the “standard three”- Our Father, Hail Mary, and Glory Be before Mass, such was my preparation to celebrate the sacred mysteries. Later when I had small children with me, I usually begged God for quiet and good behavior, and later still I began what I can only call the Litany of Improvement which I prayed for many years. It went something like this: Lord help me to be kinder, a better mother, a better Catholic, a better sister, a more understanding person…the list became quite lengthy. One Sunday, kneeling in church I began the litany. In a flash, I realized (thanks be to God) that this exercise was no longer serving me. Instead, I begged God to strike that, forget what I just said, instead to let me be present to this moment which He had brought me to. At this moment I began to learn what embracing death could mean. I have not prayed that litany since. Oh, I still pray for improvement but in a different way now - I pray that God gives me knowledge of His will and the desire to carry it out. Life is a transformative experience; I still pray to yield so I can be shaped and molded as God guides me to be who He created me to be.

Physical death is sure and certain. Death to impediments, whatever they may be, is less clear. In this season of autumn, as we quiet down, as an unsettling year’s own end looms in our view, I pray for each of us to have the courage to face the question posed to our class long ago, the question I am still learning to face - what are we being called to die to?

In the words of St. Paul in his letter to the Philippians, “Being confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will complete it until the day of Christ Jesus.”

Along the lines of transformation, no foods illustrate this as well as soup or casseroles. For both, separate elements are brought together and something wonderful is the result. Recently for a family dinner, I prepared a recipe handed down to me by three generations of my family. A simple, filling, and hearty dish from my great grandmother, Rhoda Cowan.

Mamaw Cowan’s Sausage Casserole

2 pounds ground sausage (not pork) 1 bunch celery strung and chopped 1 large red onion, chopped 1 whole bell pepper, chopped 1 cup of rice 1 can cream of chicken soup 1 ½ cups water or vegetable stock

Saute vegetables in butter or bacon grease (olive oil if you cannot bring yourself to use the other fats listed)

When the veg is soft add ground sausage and break up while cooking so the sausage is broken up. When done, spoon off some excess grease. Add rice, soup, water/stock, and stir. Turn flame low and check to prevent sticking. Turn into a buttered casserole dish and sprinkle cheese on top and bake until melted. This is hearty so homemade applesauce and a green salad go very well with this. Enjoy!