4 minute read
SIRIUS AMONG THE STAR
by Meilania
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I remember what she asked that night. Her magical smile and cheerful tone she always used. I could still easily remember how much she loved stars and constellations, and on that starry night was not an exception. Ara might be annoying sometimes, but that was what I missed the most from her. Her existence, honestly, made my life not look like black and white anymore. She had added more colors into it, thus my life looked like a beautiful rainbow which people might never notice. Cheesy? I know right.
We were on the rooftop at the time, staring at the night sky and the stars over. I did not know the answer so I just simply shook my head. She looked at me surprisedly with her eyebrows rising, it needed about five minutes until she spoke again.
“To be honest, you may not know about stars and constellations better than I do. But, how come you don’t know about this one?” she asked again as she stared at me like I was an alien, she always told me that I was originally an alien, though. I said nothing at the time because I really did not talk as too much as she did, people called it the characteristic of an introvert. It might be the reason why she called me a “cool case”, I always responded only about one-third of the whole things she talked about. She was nosy and noisy of anything. She sighed, then took my hand, I was shocked a bit by the electrical sensation I got in a split of a second. However, I let her do it. She took my finger and pointed it to one bright star. No, I saw it was the brightest one among the others.
“Look! That’s the brightest star. Do you know? That star is bigger and brighter than the sun.” She pointed at the star excitedly.
“Really?” I asked curiously. I just knew that there are still things bigger and brighter than the sun, she noticed that I was interested to hear, so she continued more excitedly. “Oh, I can’t believe I can see the star here, that one rarely appears.” She seemed very happy. I just smiled and asked her “What’s the name?” “Sirius, do you seriously not know what that star is?” she asked once again.
“Yeah. Kinda.” I answered shortly, confused.
“It’s you.” She smiled.
“What do you mean?” I was more confused by her answer.
“Listen, Sirius has been my favorite star. It shines and makes me feel warm every time I think about it. This blue star reflects infinity.” She replied. Even though my name is Sirius, I never knew before that my name is also a name of a star, even the brightest one.
“If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I’ll bet they’d live a lot differently.” She added as staring at the stars.
“How so?” I asked and followed her stargazing.
“Well, when you look into infinity, you realize that there are more important things than what people do all day.” She answered. I remained silent. It was so quiet that we sank into our each deep thought. After a long silence, she turned her body and faced me. I looked into her sparkly eyes.
“Sirius, promise me that you’ll always shine for me.” She said weakly, with that pale face. I smiled bitterly, I knew that was our last stargazing. She asked me to accompany her staring at the stars for the last time before she ended her suffering. The heart cancer which made her not able to enjoy the night stars until her old age. I nodded, then I hugged her very tightly. She would never know that this cold man was crying in the deepest of his heart. She would go away to an unreachable place and would never come back. She told me that I was such a star, but the truth was her, the one who was like that. Look reachable but the fact is impossible.
So, here I am again, under the gloomy night sky years after Ara had left it. I am writing to the stars, to whichever seeing Ara in that very far place.
“Ara, if only you knew that I wish you longer here. If only you realized that I love you over this time. If only you understand that it hurts me to the bones, to see you being hurt. If only you knew that if you can’t see all of these stars after it, I can shine as a star for you. ‘Cause I know how much you loved Sirius”
