IT IS WHO YOU ARE: A Participant’s Perspective

Iparticipated in the inaugural workshop retreat that is part of the “Helping Pastors Thrive” program, which I am part of at Duke. There are three parts to this program. There is the study leave (similar to a sabbatical) that I am doing at Duke Divinity School. There is an aspect of the program that is helping new pastors as they begin the work of ministry. Finally, there are the workshop retreats.

The retreat was held at St. Francis Springs Prayer Center in Stoneville, NC, which is out in the middle of nowhere. We had little to no cell service. There was no Wi-Fi. In current reality, we were cut off from the world—and that was not a bad thing!

Too often we are tied to our phones. I watch people with their phones. The students I see at Duke roam the campus with heads down, looking at their phones. It amazes me that they do not run into each other.

Being away from my phone and the Internet allowed me to become more aware of where I was and what surrounded me. One of the highlights for me was taking a short hike in the woods. There is a long walking trail that winds through the forest behind the center. It is a bit hilly and so walking was somewhat of a challenge, but walking through the woods did me much good and I was able to reconnect to God in the midst of the wild.

The workshop was “Pastoral Leadership in the Age of Polarization.” David Brubaker led our group. He has published a great book on leadership in our current reality entitled, When the Center Does Not Hold: Leadership in the Age of Polarization.

His focus was on how we who lead congregations face the conflicts that arise. He told us of the levels of conflict that congregations go through and how we can recognize the ways that little disagreements turn into nasty fights.

The one thing that I took away from the workshop is how Brubaker says that our current reality is one that is full of opportunity for disagreement. When we discover that the person we are conversing with finds out where we stand on an issue, it can go from being friendly to frigid to fiery in a millisecond.

The time we find ourselves in is much like my early days as a pastor. Those days were ones where there was a clear divide. In Baptist life there were two camps: the conservatives and the moderates. When you met someone you did a little song and dance with that person to find out what side the person was on. If you found out that they did not agree with you theologically, the conversation generally was over.

There is great sadness in me that we live in such a polarized environment. We base the value of our relationships solely on agreement on issues and identity questions.

I have many friends that I do not agree with on many topics. But my relationship to them is not based on agreement. My relationship is based on mutual respect and love for who they are, not what they believe. The world would be a better place if we all could get there.

IT IS WHO YOU ARE:

A Participant’s Perspective

By Dr. Mike Parnell Pastor at Temple Baptist, Raleigh (shared from his blog on 2.26.2020) Pastors from throughout the state participated the first Helping Pastors Thrive Workshop Retreat in February.