FEBRUARY 2016
a closer look at relationships
welcome letter from the editor
It’s our vision here at Maximilian to uplift and inspire Catholics all over Australia. The Catholic faith is a LIVING testament to the love that God has had for us since the beginning of time, has for us now, and will have for us to the end of time. Passed on, from generations before us to our own generation which continues to be practised in families and church communities today, the faith has not only survived but borne fruit aplenty. When we come together as a community and pray together, we are strong. Take for example Louis and Zelie Martin, parents of St Therese of Lisieux. They fostered a strong relationship built on holiness, which inspired the holiness of their children including par excellence St Therese. You can read more about this holy marriage on page 35. I’m Naomi Spinks, the new editor in chief of the Maximilian. This is my first edition in this role, and I feel honoured to have been asked to carry on the work already begun by the good people who founded the magazine. I feel blessed to be a part of such a beautiful, faith-filled team. As part of my role, I’ve been reading through all the articles coming through as well as sourcing and transcribing articles from our friends at Cradio.
Chief Editor Naomi Spinks Publisher Christianne Marie Artistic Director Catherine Spinks
Writers Paul Elarde Angeline Kurmann Antonio Moura Bridget Spinks Karen Ho Samantha Gianna Robert Haddad
Through this process, I’ve been paying close attention to the core messages of these articles about our faith practices. From this, I have felt encouraged and invigorated in my personal faith journey. I hope that you will have the same experience. Human relationships are a beautiful thing. This month we’ve chosen to reflect upon them and how they can bring us closer to God. God is a communion of persons, Father, Son and Holy Spirit. This is the mystery of our faith. The triune God. Relationship is at the heart. It’s no wonder we love discovering more about, nurturing and enjoying quality relationships. I hope our collection of pieces in this edition on love is a source of inspiration - whether it’s finding out how a boy and girl met; or what people love about being married; or rethinking ways to develop lifelong skills like learning how to be patient. It’s all in here. For the live version of this month’s Maximilian, look out for Reasons for Hope, a weekend away for young adults. Read more about it, page 14. It’s God’s love that brought us to life, brings us together and keeps us going. May we continue to deepen our love for Him and each other.
Naomi Spinks Graphic Design Catherine Spinks Christianne Marie Michael Darmadi Sarah Marie Photography Ela Glogowska Giovanni Portelli Len Lara
Sponsor St Joseph’s Camperdown Please Donate! Partners Parousia Media Cradio
“Let us not esteem worldly prosperity ... but let us live elsewhere, and raise all our attention to heaven... esteeming virtue, which unites us to God.� - St Gregory Nazianien -
what’s inside live
Sydney Catholic News................................................................8 How to Ditch Distractions and Focus on Friendships................10 What’s Love got to do with it?..................................................14 Methods for Hearing God’s Voice.............................................16
laugh
Invest in the Youth....................................................................20 Patience, Who has it?...............................................................24 Living Word..............................................................................28 Five Steps to Letting Go of Your Past.......................................29
love
Jason Evert on Chastity............................................................32 Lives of the Saints....................................................................35 Why a Relationship with Mary Matters......................................36 For the Rest of your Life...........................................................38 From Buddhist to Catholic........................................................44
“From the Eucharist comes strength to live the Christian life and zeal to share that life with others.� St Pope John Paul II Maximilian Magazine
___________________ Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin. ___________________ Blessed Mother Teresa
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Live Strong response to Sydney’s FIRST EVER Catholic school for students with SPECIAL LEARNING NEEDS Catholic Communications, Sydney Archdiocese 27 October 2015 The response from parents to Sydney’s first-ever purpose built Catholic Secondary Special School for children with moderate intellectual disabilities and complex learning needs set to open in February 2016 has been even stronger than expected. More than 145 parents attended two special information evenings held earlier this year and according to Principal Dr Ian Jackson, enrolments for the Eileen O’Connor Catholic College, Lewisham, have been coming in at “warp speed.” Although enrolments only opened a short time ago, the original target of 10 students for Year 7 and a further 10 for Year 8 has already been met. While classes will be kept small to enable individual attention and one-on-one teaching to help each child realise their full potential, Dr Jackson insists that there is no deadline for enrolments and that interviews with parents and assessments of prospective students. Due to the strong response from parents across the Archdiocese, the numbers of youngsters accepted for the College’s initial intake of Years 7 and 8 students are now expected to reach a total of 30, with 15 in each class. (…) Less than 10 months ago in his first education announcement after being appointed Archbishop of Sydney, the Most
Rev Anthony Fisher OP gave details of this ground-breaking multi-stage initiative, and outlined his long range vision to support students with special needs. The Archbishop who was Chair of the Catholic Education Commission NSW (CECNSW) from 2005-2006 and from 2009-2015, has long promoted the transformative power of education and like his predecessor, Cardinal George Pell has long held the view that the high quality learning experiences offered by NSW Catholic secondary and primary schools be available to all children, regardless of the challenges they face in terms of physical, cognitive or intellectual disability. (…) The opening of the Eileen O’Connor College at Lewisham on 28 January next year will concentrate on children who may have autism, dyspraxia, dyscalculia, auditory or visual processing problems or moderate intellectual disabilities to ensure they reach their full potential. (…) Taking a multi-disciplinary approach to education, the College will also focus on training students in life skills that many of us take for granted, such as catching a bus, shopping and the ability to make small but important everyday decisions. Students at Eileen O’Connor Catholic College will not only have vital back up support from
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trained speech pathologists, occupational therapists and counsellors but will have individual programs of learning tailored especially for them. In addition the College will have superb resources to encourage and aid learning including the latest in Information Technology. Using specially designed programs for IPads and Apps students will be able to can set their own pace. With the help, guidance and encouragement of their teacher, children who have difficulty writing, reading, or are confused by numbers find the visual cues and interactive IT advances an easier way to learn, Dr Jackson says. (…) With more than 30 years experience in the special education sector, most recently as Special School Network Consultant with the Archdiocese of Sydney’s Catholic Education Office, Dr Jackson’s particular research focus has been on the role played by principals and school leadership teams in engaging staff around pedagogy, culture and mission in promoting inclusive practices and quality outcomes for students with disabilities. “There is a great need for the Eileen O’Connor Catholic College,” Dr Jackson says. “It is a great privilege to work with special needs children and their families. To be entrusted with these children and the trust put in us by their parents is both humbling and a very special privilege,” he says.
Live ‘When our Lord is taken away I feel a big loss’, says one witness.
The compassionate gaze of Jesus The following is an excerpt from Pope Francis’ announcement of the Year of Mercy. Source: Radio Vaticana (13/03/2015).
This year as last, as we head into of the Fourth Sunday of Lent, we are gathered to celebrate the penitential liturgy. We are united with so many Christians, who, in every part of the world, have accepted the invitation to live this moment as a sign of the goodness of the Lord. The Sacrament of Reconciliation, in fact, allows us with confidence to draw near to the Father, in order to be certain of His pardon. He really is “rich in mercy” and extends His mercy with abundance over those who turn to Him with a sincere heart. To be here in order to experience His love, however, is first of all the fruit of His grace. As the Apostle Paul reminds us, God never ceases to show the richness of His mercy throughout the ages. The transformation of the heart that leads us to confess our sins is “God’s gift”, it is “His work” (cf. Eph 2:8-10). To be touched with tenderness by His hand and shaped by His grace allows us, therefore, to approach the priest without fear for our sins, but with the certainty of being welcomed
by him in the name of God, and understood notwithstanding our miseries. Coming out of the confessional, we will feel God’s strength, which restores life and returns the enthusiasm of faith. The Gospel we have heard (cf. Lk 7:36-50) opens for us a path of hope and comfort. It is good that we should feel that same compassionate gaze of Jesus upon us, as when he perceived the sinful woman in the house of the Pharisee. In this passage two words return before us with great insistence: love and judgment. (…) The call of Jesus pushes each of us never to stop at the surface of things, especially when we are dealing with a person. We are called to look beyond, to focus on the heart to see how much generosity everyone is capable. No one can be excluded from the mercy of God; everyone knows the way to access it and the Church is the house that welcomes all and refuses no one. Its doors remain wide open, so that those who are touched by grace can find the certainty of forgiveness. The greater the sin, so much the greater must be the love that the Church expresses
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toward those who convert. Dear brothers and sisters, I have often thought about how the Church might make clear its mission of being a witness to mercy. It is journey that begins with a spiritual conversion. For this reason, I have decided to call an extraordinary Jubilee that is to have the mercy of God at its center. It shall be a Holy Year of Mercy. We want to live this Year in the light of the Lord’s words: “Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful. (cf. Lk 6:36)” This Holy Year will begin on this coming Solemnity of the Immaculate Conception and will end on November 20, 2016, the Sunday dedicated to Our Lord Jesus Christ, King of the Universe – and living face of the Father’s mercy. I entrust the organization of this Jubilee to the Pontifical Council for Promotion of the New Evangelization, that [the dicastery] might animate it as a new stage in the journey of the Church on its mission to bring to every person the Gospel of mercy. – Pope Francis To read the full transcript, please visit en.radiovaticana.va.
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how to ditch
distractions and focus on friendships by SR BERNADETTE PIKE The first section we’re going to focus on the attention to the other. This involves welcoming the other person with our whole heart and our whole body; what does that look like? How do we learn to see the person and not just their problems? How do we learn to make time to be available to people? To be really present with them. To attend to the person even when we’re not physically present; how do we learn to attend to people? How do we learn to attend to God in the midst of that relationship, to have attention to the other with a capital ‘O’ first, to be possessed by Christ. And also the importance of personal conversion. When I am with someone else I’m only going to be able to be present with them if I’ve dealt with the things that are coming up within me that might be obstacles to me being present? To enjoy a freedom to be present we need to attend to our own needs; especially with the people that are irritating and challenging us. We also need to be able to deal with the temptations to use the other person as an object. All the things that come up within us; the process of personal conversion of repenting and believing the Good News of integrating the truths of the faith into ourselves personally. That is, a faith that believes in the fullness of revelation, a conscience and a reason that’s been formed by the great treasury – 10 –
of wisdom in the church and learning to be docile to the Holy Spirit. This last aspect that I’m talking about here,personal conversion, is really important in terms of being able to really live out attention to the other that we are talking about. The next part that we are going to look at is learning to listen and entering into the person’s story. That is, learning the language of the person’s heart, how to be compassionate, how to avoid jumping to conclusions, basically leaving our agenda at the door. We’re going to see how we can believe in the capacity of the other person to integrate and to transcend what is in them; to be able to choose the good and the true. To be mindful that we are discovering truth together that the holy spirit is speaking to us through this relationship as well too. Then we’re going to turn our discussion to entering into dialogue which is a key thing for St John Paul II. He’s always talking about entering into dialogue. And this, for us, is affirming what is good. This begins with the very humanity of the other person. To find what already unites us, what we share in common. You can see, as we’re talking about this section, this isn’t important just for people we talk to on a personal basis, but you can even apply it to the Holy Father’s activities and his relations with people of other faiths; his ecumenical work in the Church. We have to be ready to speak the truth, to know Christ, and our faith and to be able to speak that when it’s necessary. In a way that’s always proposing and inviting, and not imposing. We also need to learn the importance of living the Gospel ourselves, of being a witness in this and to be able to enter into the dialogue. We are going to look at John Paul II’s way of facing the world without fear and
Live what that means in terms of facing our own inadequacy first, and then in our relationships with other people, and keeping the message of redemption and mercy at the forefront of our minds. That message of redemption and mercy is important even when we are looking at our own inadequacies and weakness too. In entrusting ourselves to Christ through Mary, and of being a witness of the crucified Christ and of the resurrection. And then we’re going to also touch briefly on the enculturation of the Gospel to every person at every level of society, ad genes - which is touching on the Holy Father’s spirituality. So this is basically an overview of where we’re going to go from here. Let’s launch out into the deep and let down our nets for a catch. Attention to the Other We mentioned this briefly in one of the earlier talks when we were discussing John Paul II’s ability to focus all of his energies onto the person that he was with, and how that made the person feel. We were saying that the Cardinal said that his gaze penetrated your soul and made you feel like you’re the sole object of his attention. Nowadays our time spent with people is so often accompanied by our phone, computer, TV, iPod etc. We’ve developed a confidence that we can absorb as much as we need to with the least amount of effort. If we talk on the phone, we usually are walking or driving or cooking dinner. Perhaps you’ve been known to start checking emails or phone messages while you’re in the presence of family and friends without excusing yourself. At one point, it was rude to speak to someone on the phone when you were in the middle of a conversation but now, according to the Australian Alternative Consensus that just came out, 41% of Australians say it’s rude to interrupt the conversation, 51% say it’s okay to talk on your phone if you excuse yourself first and 4% don’t think it’s rude at all. It’s hard to know when you can start a personal conversation because we’re unsure about when the person will suddenly be distracted, it’s hard to also know if there is any generally accepted etiquette at all when using technology. Can you recall a time when you started to say something personal and the other person took a phone call or went to do something else, only to forget to return to the conversation? It’s like the end of the conversation just lingers in mid air. How reluctant we are to bring it up again because you wonder whether the other person actually is or was very interested. It leaves you thinking whether they were even interested in the first place. Many people believe they are saving time by doing several things at once. There’s no doubt we are doing more things at the same time nowadays. High speed computers help facilitate this, but how well are we doing the things that we do? And at what expense? There’s some debate now about whether we are actually doing two things at once or flipping quickly between one or the other. And either way we are beginning to realise that our attention to each activity is compromised. Where we’re not taking in as much, we’re not remembering as much or processing as much. I call it the not-all-there syndrome. It’s a phrase that was commonly used in the past for people with – 11 –
“we have to be ready to speak the truth, to know Christ, and our faith and to be able to speak that when it’s necessary.”
Live neurological defects who seem to be in another place sometimes. It has also been used to refer to people who are experiencing so much emotional turmoil within that they cannot be physically present to others, and seem to be constantly off on a tangent. So, we say - Oh that’s Bob, he’s not all there really. But nowadays, I think this syndrome is enigmatic of today’s society - it’s so common. How many of us suffer from this during our day? We’re with someone but thinking about something else. We have trouble remaining focused and attentive to the person. It’s harder to remember the names and details of conversations. Oh well, we tell ourselves. Hopefully they’ll put it on Facebook and we can remind ourselves of it when we need to - we can check their Facebook and find out the significant day, like their birthday. Even when you sense the person has something important to say, isn’t it difficult to stay focused only on that person for a long period of time? So many report that they cannot stop their distracting train of thought when they are not only with other people, but also with God when they sit down to try to pray. They have trouble motivating themselves to spend time in prayer, because they just don’t feel like they can concentrate. I wonder how many people in our lives experience us as being not all there for them, as the status quo. Even God. I wonder if we ask God or the people in our lives, do you think I suffer
from this not-all-there syndrome sometimes? And if so, when, or what does that look like? The thing is, we need someone’s undivided attention to feel safe, to open up. [...] It’s so rare for people to give one another time. We’ve begun to feel guilty if we receive it. Well, we say to ourselves, they mustn’t really want to listen to me, because no one else does. And they must have so many other things that they really want to do, so I better apologise for even talking to them in the first place. We’re so used to people walking away from us to do something that’s more important than being with us. Even if we try to put other things on hold and focus on someone, how often does this dialogue take place over text message or email, and not in person. In some ways we’re aware that there can be a superficiality in virtual communication and there are attempts to try to address this with technology. We can buy a smart phone now for example, with dual cameras, that allows us to see the person we’re talking to, provided they have the same feature. And more and more people are communicating via Skype or other programs that do the same thing. But as I use these features, I notice that many people would prefer not to have visuals, or have trouble looking at me when they’re talking. In some ways virtual networks have made it easier for us to share personal details about our life. But it is done in a calculated and constructive way. This is why 37% of Australians on FB share their photos and information with people they haven’t even met before and 55% of Australians (1/4) can be friends with someone they don’t even like. In person, communication about important things is becoming harder and harder, especially for the younger generations. It’s such a shame too because as we all
“It’s good to try to smile with joy at all there is before us. Even if we don’t fully understand the dignity of that person.”
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Live know there are so many people that are crying out to be heard, posting on FB even the most menial details of their day. JPII said in a general audience on the 16th of May 1979, ‘Although man defends access to his secrets, although he wants to keep them for himself, he has still a greater need. He is hungry and thirsty for someone before whom he can open up. To whom he can manifest and reveal himself.’ So this is bringing to mind again this whole idea of participating in humanity of the other person - the particular type of communication. This insatiable desire to be seen, heard and affirmed, does not diminish throughout life, even if we ignore it. We’re prepared to accept counterfeit forms of it, we’re so desperate for it, we accept and are easily duped by fakes. Do you know of women who allow men to use them, seeking attention even though it’s not good for them? On the flip-side I’ve met men for whom it’s a real struggle to relate to women because the women fall for them so quickly. If they’re good at paying attention, listening and affirming others, they say things like ‘The women seem to think I like them. You know…like… them… But just because I might be one of the few people in their lives that do this, it doesn’t mean i want to go out with them.’ It can be a real cross for people like this. Not just for men but for people generally. Once you start attending to people and really giving them the time, because there’s so much within them there’s a buildup of what they want to be able to share and work through, it’s hard to continue to love and to do so with good boundaries. Unfortunately, because so few people are able to attend to others well, many have retreated within themselves and find it very difficult to open up to others about personal things at all. For those who’ve gone up with silent treatment from a loved on, the mistrust in others that actually want to listen to them is further compounded. It’s important for us to be able to identify where we could do better - it could be a surprise to realise that we need to learn something as rudimentary as focusing our attention on someone in a genuine way. Let’s look at some of the things we can keep in mind when we’re trying to attend to the other person. First of all we want to welcome this person with our whole heart and our body. JPII believed that each person was especially entrusted to him, he saw that they were special and wanted to spend time with them. He says ‘Whenever I meet a person, I pray for them and this always helps me in my relationships. It’s difficult for me to explain how others perceive this, you would have to ask them, however, I follow the principle of accepting each one as a person whom the Lord sends to me. And at the same time entrusts to me. So every person that we enter into a relationship with, they’re especially entrusted to us, so the way we look at them has to affirm this - has to welcome them. It’s good to try, every time we come into contact with someone, before we assess how that person is feeling or where that person’s at, to smile with joy at all there is before us - even if we don’t fully understand the dignity of that person......
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This article was transcribed with permission from cradio. To listen to full talk, go to cradio.org.au
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What’s love got to do with it?
By: BRIDGET SPINKS
The question most prominent on our hearts and minds, when we meet someone we are attracted to, is whether I know I like him, or he likes me. Then we want to know whether there is a possibility for love here. Then once we get to know the person, we want to know whether the love that’s grown between us is real. It is that age-old ‘how do I know when I’m in love?’ These questions cut to the heart of what it is to be a human person: namely, that we have the capacity to love deeply and truly, and we want to know when we are doing so authentically. We may feel something, but we want to know rationally how to understand that feeling as well. Our thoughts and decision about that feeling relates to our side of the equation, but of course in love, there is the other person to consider as well, the one responding to us. We then require a true response from the other person to know if we are doing the right thing by dating (or continuing to date) each other. We want to know if they feel the same, and want the same. We want to know more about who they are, about their character and their values. Once we’ve found this out, and they have found this out about us, we want to know if there will be an ongoing permanence to the new ‘relationship’, which is quickly becoming a living, organic connection between us; a dynamic interpersonal connection. We want to know whether we have the space to give and receive love. We want to know this precisely because we are persons. To say that the human person is complex is an understatement.
We are capable of knowing, of loving and of serving. But this concept of who we are as ‘persons’ is only a recent advancement in our understanding of who we are.
the modern world.
Pope John Paul II was a trailblazer in introducing the concept of the human person – a concept, which equalises men and women in their dignity because they are both persons. As Professor of Philosophy and Director of the MA Philosophy program at the Franciscan University of Steubenville John Henry Crosby writes in Sources of Personalist Thought, John Paul II recognised that ‘the truth about the equality of man and woman has to be balanced by the truth about the complementarity of man and woman. The very principle of their equality, namely their personhood, is decisively modified by their gender, so that we have masculine and feminine persons. Each gender has its own “genius”.’
new horizons, helping them to discover the beauty and grandeur of the vocation to love and the service of life,” he writes.
This forward-thinking Pope, not only recognised the dignity of the person but the equality of man and woman. He was a #heforshe long before Emma Watson began her campaign for men to trumpet the capabilities of women in society. When it comes to love, equality and complementarity of the sexes is important, because, as Crosby goes on to say, ‘as a result [of their equality and complementarity], man and woman, for all their equality are called to complete each other in a unique kind of unity.’ So, love and personhood go hand in hand. It is our vocation, as persons, to love. In 1981, in Familiaris Consortio, Pope John Paul II spoke about the role of the Christian family in
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“In a particular way the Church addresses the young, who are beginning their journey towards marriage and family life, for the purpose of presenting them with
At a time, when young people are urgently seeking a guide to love they can confidently trust, the Reasons for Hope committee – taking inspiration from a survey of previous participants – is willing to assist. By popular demand, the weekend will focus on the Catholic vision of love. For the last 10-15 years, Reasons for Hope has drawn young people from all over Sydney, New South Wales and Australia to learn more about God in a relaxed and friendly environment. God is love (Deus Caritas Est) so this year the central aim is to share the Catholic vision of Love. With the support of the Archdiocese of Sydney, the weekend away will be hosted on 11-13 March, 2016 at the Benedict XVI Retreat Centre, Grose Vale. The program features talks on learning how to deepen our relationship with Christ, Aquinas’ philosophy of love, a look at Wojtyla’s theology of love, how to discern one’s vocation to love as well as introducing a few models of charity, who the Church has or is yet to canonise.
For more information, please visit www.reasonsforhope.net.au or find the event on Facebook!
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Methods for
hearing
God’s voice W
hen it comes to seeking to hear God speak the most important thing to remember is to set that in the larger context of our discipleship to Jesus. We are talking about growing in an intimate, conversational relationship with God in which we are learning to abide in Christ and bear fruit for him - that is what is important (John 15).
“It is necessary to keep as my objective the end for which I am created, to praise God our Lord and save my soul. Furthermore, I ought to find myself indifferent, that is, without any disordered affection, to such an extent that I am not more inclined or emotionally disposed toward taking the matter proposed rather than relinquishing it…
These are some time-tested proven methods we can use to help us listen to God’s voice.
Instead, I should find myself in the middle, like the pointer of a balance, in order to be ready to follow that which I shall perceive to be more to the glory and praise of God our Lord and the salvation of my soul.
We featured method one in our January edition. We’re happy to bring to you a further two methods for hearing God’s voice. Namely, through ‘The Saint Ignatius Way’ and through ‘Fasting and Prayer’. This has been printed will full permission from soulshepherding.org. For more articles like this one please feel free to check out their website.
Method One: The Saint Ignatius Way It was in 1544 that Ignatius of Loyola developed the classic model for discerning God’s voice and leading in The Spiritual Exercises. His book lays out a practical manual for doing a four-week retreat featuring meditation on Gospel readings that engages the senses, reflection and listening prayer, and spiritual direction. It includes teaching about listening to God’s voice. I’d like to emphasize one part of his teaching that I’ve found especially helpful: becoming, as one Jesuit (a monk who follows Ignatius’ way) said, “passionately indifferent” to all things except loving and honoring the Lord Jesus Christ. Along these lines Ignatius says:
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I should beg God our Lord to be pleased to move my will and to put into my mind what I ought to do in regard to the matter proposed, so that it will be more to his praise and glory… Which choice helps me to love God better? How would I advise another person I have never known? If I were at the point of death what would I wish I had done? On Judgment Day how will I wish I had decided?” (The Spiritual Exercises of Saint Ignatius, p. 77-78). To achieve this indifference in a situation of decision or opportunity you may have to begin by processing through your emotions as described above. You become indifferent about which direction to go when you have the matter fully submitted to God — you’ve abandoned the outcomes to him and settled in your heart that in either scenario you can be happy because you belong to the Lord and you’re serving him in his kingdom. However your situation turns out the Lord is your portion and his love is better than life (Psalm 63:3) so you are fulfilled!
Live You can hear God’s voice as part of a growing conversational relationship with Him. Here are some proven methods to help you listen to God.
A simple abiding prayer that helps me submit a matter to God and stay in a neutral, listening position is:
“Lord, I want your will, your way, your time… Your will, your way, your time…” I repeat the prayer gently in quiet, focused prayer. Then throughout the day whenever the issue comes to mind I return to the prayer, even if only for a few moments. I can testify from personal experience that achieving true neutrality under God about an issue helps you to discern God’s wisdom. Of course, it takes time and training truly to become passionately indifferent to all things except Jesus. We discover that the more this is true for us then the easier it is for us to be content “in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry” because, like Paul, we can “do all things through Christ who strengthens us” (Philippians 4:13).
Method Two: Fast and Pray A fruitful method to help us listen to God and discern his guidance is fasting and prayer. Fasting from food (and to a lesser extent fasting from other things like media) can help us to break free of the sins, distractions, and emotions that may be inhibiting our ability to hear God’s voice. Fasting was often used by people in the Bible and it’s been used by God’s people over the ages. Jesus for forty days to help him hear God at the start of his public ministry. The prophets fasted continually to help them proclaim the word of the Lord to people. In the book of Acts we see the Apostles fasting to help them receive God’s guidance.
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Another thing about fasting is that
it clears space in our souls: the time we would’ve spent eating is free for prayer and continually we can re-direct our attention to God. ”
Fasting is a discipline of self-denial — we go without food for a period of time to train our bodies to be submitted to God. While we fast we learn to draw our nourishment from the manna of heaven. Some people fast for physical cleansing, but the real cleansing is spiritual and emotional: hidden problems in the body and soul will come to the surface and can be brought into the healing light of God’s mercy and grace. Another thing about fasting is that it clears space in our souls: the time we would’ve spent eating is free for prayer and continually we can re-direct our attention to God. One caution about fasting as a method for hearing God’s voice: it usually doesn’t work very well to fast about an urgent matter unless prior to doing this you’ve already learned how to fast. When you first try fasting you find that you keep thinking about your experience of fasting: being hungry, having headaches, wondering if you’re doing it right, trying to make something happen. But fasting is not about you, it’s about God. The point of a fast is to feast on God, to hunger for him and his words and to keep your attention on him and what he is doing.
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___________________ Enjoy yourselves as much as you like, if only you keep away from sin.... Have fun, but do not neglect study and prayer. ___________________ St John Bosco
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Invest in the youth , and you invest in the future of the church This interview was part of the ‘Make a Mess’ series on youth ministry and was recorded at Ignite Conference in 2015. “I’m joined today by Stephen Lenahan who’s from Life Teen. All the way out from the United States. Thank you for joining me.” “Thank you for having me.” “We’re here at Ignite which is all about youth ministry, ministering to the youth, of which there are many here at the moment. I just wanted to ask you firstly, what are you doing with youth ministry and Life Teen, what has been your experience thus far?” “I’m the director of events for Life Teen and we’re an international organisation started in the United States 30 years ago in 1985 in one parish. Since then, we’ve spread around the globe and we’re in 2530 countries, probably, and mainly in the US. I’m the director of events so I basically host training conferences for adults that are going to work in youth ministry, volunteers, full time employees, priests, religious anyone that’s going to work with teenagers and the church. We’re in the business of training them and providing them with the resources to help them do it to make it a little bit easier on them because this culture is quickly changing all the time. So, that’s what I do specifically. I also run youth conferences in the states, very similar to what Ignite is doing here in Australia. We do that during the summer months in the states. That’s my area of Life Teen, we have a staff of about 40 people. We run summer
camps, we provide resources so that parishes can run comprehensive youth ministry throughout the rest of the year. I was also a teenager who was affected by Life Teen, myself. Growing up, in high school I had a really dynamic parish that invested a lot in the youth and I think that it produced a lot of fruit and a lot of results.” “What’s some important advice for a person ministering to the youth or for the entire church on how we approach the youth?” “Well, first of all it’s a privilege to have that calling from God and it’s a unique calling and it’s a lot of fun. That being said, I think it gets overlooked in the church. But, I truly think it should be one of our most important ministries. We need to echo down the faith to the next generation and if we truly believe what we profess on Sundays at Mass, and we believe that the Gospel is for all generations and even this generation that can sometimes be intimidating to us as adults. The other thing is, I don’t think you have to be a young adult or a young person to minister to other young people, you just have to be young at heart and have a passion for the Lord and young people. Oftentimes I’ll hear a mum or a dad or a grandparent say, ‘well, what do I have to offer to the young people of the Church?’ and I would say, ‘you have everything to offer because you have wisdom and that’s an important gift that young people today need.’ Youth ministry is a privilege, it’s an awesome thing and the more we invest in it, we’re seeing this in the United States, the more we invest in the youth the more vibrant our parishes become and the more they grow into something healthy and something that becomes a witness to everyone else in our communities. Youth ministry is an incredible calling by God and I just hope it keeps flourishing here in the Church in Australia. It seems to be here at Ignite and other places in Australia - we did a training conference in Sydney earlier this week and just saw amazing things. You can really see
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the Church alive here in Australia and a lot of it we’re just starting to see the fruits of WYD 2008 being held here. The people are really seeing and getting what was started in 2008 and making it come alive.”
as a young person. I had a lot of adults in my parish that really invested that time in my life and making sure that I understood the richness of our Catholic faith.”
“You mentioned you weren’t always ministering to youth, you were once ministered to yourself. What’s the most important thing that you’ve learnt and that you’ve taken from those experiences that you now use while ministering to other youth?” “It’s all about relationship. Sometimes we overcomplicate things in our parishes and in our Church. It’s all about relationship. That’s why I think so many people are so attracted to Pope Francis because he’s all about relationship of the individual, of the person. That’s the whole message of Jesus in the Gospel, of the road to Emmaus. He walked with them, listened to their story and then He revealed who He was in all His glory. But that should be our model for ministry, our model for every ministry, not just youth ministry. It’s that walking with people, hearing about their lives, hearing about their struggles, their dreams, their hopes, their desires. Then, once you have that relationship with them, then you can open up the conversation of Jesus Christ with them. That’s what someone did for me in my faith journey. They walked with me, through the good times, through the bad, through the awkward, as a young person. They weren’t afraid to challenge me. I think sometimes we think that youth ministry is about fun and games and pizza and playing games in the gymnasium and it’s really a lot more than that. We’re seeing that a lot in the United States and we’re seeing that as well in Australia is that when you have a relationship with a teenager and you introduce them to Jesus Christ and the Gospel of Jesus Christ, amazing things can happen. But you have to be willing to be audacious and bold in your ministry and not be afraid to reach out and help a young person and mentor them. That’s my experience as a teenager,
“I won’t let you go before you speak a bit about Life Teen and if people wanted to find out more about that how they could get in touch.” “We have a website: lifeteen.com where you can find a lot of our blogs and our resources, more about our events, what’s going on not only in the US but abroad. Also if you type in catholicyouthministry.com that’s going to direct you to our website which specifically has more of the resources for the adults. Our resources are available as a mailout that comes to your parish three times a year with fresh and new resources. Or, you could also subscribe and get those resources online for your parish and all of that’s online. Our role and our goal with the resources that we provide for the adults that work in youth ministry is that we want to do the hard work for you so that you can spend that time investing in a relationship with a young person. You don’t have to be searching for where in the Catechism does it say this or where is Scripture does it say this? We pool those resources together and give you a framework and an outline and a skeleton of a teaching to work with and you add the meat and the flavour of your parish and your team’s onto it and all of that can be found on lifeteen.com.” “Thank you for joining us and thank you for your work.” cradio.org.au
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Love
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The Chastity Project LOVE OR LUST
WHAT’S SO GREAT ABOUT BEING CATHOLIC?
Jason and Crystalina Evert
Jason and Crystalina Evert
In this presentation from Jason and Crystalina Evert, you’ll get straight answers about dating, relationships, and the difference between love and lust.
Discover the beauty and the treasures of the faith, as revealed through her saints and sacraments.
HOW TO SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE BEFORE MEETING YOUR SPOUSE
WOMEN MADE NEW
Jason and Crystalina Evert
Is it ever too late to start over? It doesn’t matter what you’ve done or where you’ve been. All that matters now is where you go from here.
Jason and Crystalina Evert
Jason shows us how to build the foundation for lasting love, and reveals how marriage prep starts before “engagement”
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HOW TO DATE YOUR SOULMATE Jason and Crystalina Evert You like each other. Now what? Most people have only been told what they’re not supposed to do while dating. Now learn ten strategies for how to practice courtship without compromise.
PARENTING FOR PURITY Jason and Crystalina Evert Want to be the #1 influence on your teen’s sexual behavior? You already are. Now learn ten strategies to guard the innocence of your family and communicate the message of chastity to them.
PURE FATHERHOOD Jason and Crystalina Evert Want to become the father you were created to be? Dads are the link between heaven and earth, between children and their Heavenly Father. Learn from St. Joseph how to become a father on earth like the Father in heaven.
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Laugh Patience, who has it? by Antonio Moura
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ur Christian lives can be described like a cross. There is the vertical dimension, being our relationship with God, and the horizontal dimension being our relationship with our neighbours. Both dimensions are needed to form a cross. Similarly, our Christian lives require both the vertical and horizontal dimension. Sometimes loving God seems easier than our neighbours. But when we read in 1 John 4:20: “If someone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar”. So, why does it seem harder to love our neighbours? The answer is complex, but I hope to explain part of the answer below. Our social age seems to be increasingly dependant on interactions with computers rather than one another. Technology is awesome, yet when we surround ourselves with technology more than with human beings, we risk losing our humanity and can become more like machines. At first, some may like the idea of becoming as efficient as a computer. Although, neglecting one’s own human needs and limitations will have its consequences. We are the most amazing and complex creatures on earth. I have studied both software development and human development, and the fact is that even the most vulnerable child has a more complex mind than all computers put together. Moreover, technology lacks awareness of human feelings and emotions. It will never feel love, hatred, joy or sadness, neither will it be disturbed by the search for its origin and purpose. In our fast-paced, efficiency-oriented society, we can even start to treat people as though they are another piece of technology. When we realize they are people, our patience runs out and we become frustrated with human incompetency. Computers rarely make mistakes and they can
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be a hundred times faster than people. However, computers only do what they are programmed to do. Any errors that occur with your smartphone are the programmer’s. To be human means to make mistakes. As well as to be limited in capacity, at times, to be slow and reflective, to need a break and to talk about feelings, to need each other’s support and ultimately to die. We are mere mortals and therefore, imperfect! If we surround ourselves too much with technology, our patience with people, and with ourselves, becomes incredibly affected. To surround ourselves with people means to slow down, which many of us are not no longer used to. In the past, men learnt patience naturally, either when hunting or working in the farm; they needed to respect the time of things. As we read in Ecclesiastes 3:1 “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up (…)”. In fact, we need to respect the time of things and the time of others. To love means to walk at the same pace of the other which often means to slow down our own pace so as to walk together. But today many people have high expectations of others, or of themselves, and therefore, struggle with relationships. For example, if I drive fast I expect others to keep up with my speed; or if a friend buys the latest iPhone, I expect myself to buy a similar model. We no longer respect the uniqueness of each person and their unique reality. It always amazes me how much patience Jesus had, particularly with his disciples. His disciples are often described as stubborn, selfish, slow
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and skeptical people. Jesus performed miracles and spoke with a wisdom and authority that had never been heard before. We would expect that those who closely followed him would understand him. But the gospels tell us that Jesus always met his disciples at their pace. For example, through his telling of parables in the everyday language, he was able to connect with people. In John 14:8-9, Philip says to Jesus “Lord, show us the Father, and we will be satisfied.” But Jesus patiently replies, “Have I been with you all this time, Philip, and you still do not know me? Whoever has seen me has seen the Father.” In fact, Jesus’ patience with his disciples reveals the Father’s patience with each one of us. The Father knows every single detail of our lives, even the darkest ones, and despite that, He still loves us. Jesus loved his disciples not because they were efficient men, but because Jesus believed in them. And because of this, we are here. In the same way, the Father loves us not
because we deserve it, but because He believes in us. Yes, God the Father believes in you! He called you to this life and gave you specific talents which are unique to your purpose, here on earth. Heavenly Father, I thank you for believing and being so patient with me: help me to grow in the virtue of patience, by the example of your son Jesus, so as to better love and serve you and my neighbours. For this, I pray for all those who did not have patience with me: help me to understand their lack of patience and to forgive. And I pray for all those who test my patience: give me the wisdom to love them by believing in them like you do.
your brother Antonio Moura
Contact Antonio If you have any questions, you can email him at antoniolandell@gmail.com!
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PURE MANHOOD Jason and Crystalina Evert How to Become the Man God Wants You to Be Every day boys and young men are bombarded with messages and images that encourage them to make impurity a way of life. And since it looks like so much fun, they can easily be made to feel as if they’re foolishly missing out on something really great. However, Jason Evert’s Pure Manhood will help them to see things in a new light. Best of all, it will give them the spiritual tools they need to stay pure—or to return to purity.
PURE WOMANHOOD Jason and Crystalina Evert In today’s world, it is all too easy for a young woman to fool herself with lies about love. What does she tell herself? “Guys don’t want a pure girl.” “Nobody’s getting hurt.” “It’s all fun and games.” “It’s my body. It’s my choice.” “If I say no, I might lose him.” “I can’t be alone.” “It’s too late for me.” Every woman longs for love, but many have given up. In Pure Womanhood, Crystalina Evert restores a woman’s hope.
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ST POPE JOHN PAUL II AND HIS FIVE GREAT LOVES Jason and Crystalina Evert Although there are countless ways to study Saint John Paul the Great, the most direct route is by entering the man’s heart. Discover the five greatest loves of Saint John Paul II, through remarkable unpublished stories about him from bishops, priests, his students, Swiss Guards, and others. Mining through a mountain of papal resources, Jason Evert has uncovered the gems and now presents the Church a treasure chest brimming with the jewels of the saint’s life.
THE CHASTITY PROJECT Jason and Crystalina Evert Jason and Crystalina Evert have spoken to more than one million people on six continents about the virtue of chastity. They speak to 100,000 students per year and their aim is to make chastity resources available to as many souls around the world as possible. Leaders from more than fifty countries have contacted Jason and his wife Crystalina, asking for chastity resources to be donated to their communities. The two have authored dozens of chastity books, CDs, and DVDs. Through low-cost resource distribution, media appearances, seminars, and social media, Chastity Project exists to promote the virtue of chastity so that individuals can see God, and be free to love (Matt. 5:8).
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Living Word
1 Corinthians 12:4-11
There is a variety of gifts but always the same Spirit; there are all sorts of service to be done, but always to the same Lord; working in all sorts of different ways in different people, it is the same God who is working in all of them. The particular way in which the Spirit is given to each person is for a good purpose. One may have the gift of preaching with wisdom given him by the Spirit; another may have the gift of preaching instruction given him by the same Spirit; and another the gift of faith given by the same Spirit; another again the gift of healing, through this one Spirit; one, the power of miracles; another, prophecy; another the gift of recognising spirits; another the gift of tongues and another the ability to interpret them. All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, who distributes different gifts to different people just as he chooses. – 28 –
Five steps to letting go of your past
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by LEAH DARROW 1. Pray everyday. Begin your day with prayer, attend a bible study, or attend an additional church service or Mass. Prayer is not only right and just worship to God but also reminds us that we are not alone. Set a reminder on your phone at a certain time each day to pray even if it’s only for a few seconds. 2. Get Spiritual Guidance. This can be a spiritual director such as a Priest, Sister or a faithful lay Christian that is willing to walk with you through this season of life. This person offers a kind of spiritual guidance/ counseling – meeting usually twice a month and going over your current life challenges and spiritual practices. You don’t have to be a spiritual giant to have a Spiritual Director – you just need to be a sinner that wants to be better – and we all fit that description. 3. Build up, not down. Fill your eyes, ears, and mouth with uplifting books, music and speech. Read an inspiring spiritual book. Listen to Christian music that lifts the soul. Speak only words of kindness about yourself and others. A wise man once said, “If it doesn’t help you get up the mountain, leave it behind.” 4. Give of yourself. Get involved with a community project or charity that helps others. Feed the homeless, donate your time to an after school tutor program, visit the elderly, bake cookies for your neighbor, etc… These types of charity leave you feeling better while simultaneously helping someone in need. 5. Get on a schedule. Prioritize your life. Marathoners train by a set schedule, running a set amount of miles each day and a few days of rest. Without it they would never make it through the race effectively or at all. Your race is LIFE. This race is set at a slow and steady pace of virtuous decisions and sticking to priorities. This article has been printed with permission from leahdarrow.com – 29 –
Your race is LIFE. This race is set at a slow and steady pace of virtuous decisions and sticking to priorities.
___________________ Where love exists, it works great things. But when it ceases to act, it ceases to exist. ___________________ St Gregory the Great
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Jason Evert on Chastity by KAREN HO What first interested you to be a chastity speaker? I began by helping out on my high school youth group retreats as a teen. By the time I was in college, I began leading the retreats for a youth group near my campus. I also did crisis pregnancy counselling in college, where you offer hope to young women who have unplanned pregnancies. Many of the teens on the retreats were wrestling with their faith because of sexual issues, and nearly every one of the young women who entered the abortion clinic was there because of the absence of chastity in her life. Because of all the hurt I was seeing, I wanted to reach out to the teens, in order to show them how to find the real love they deserve. When I met the women who were 30 minutes away from getting an abortion, I felt late. I thought: “Why couldn’t I have met this girl six months ago, or back when she was in 7th grade? If I had talked to her then about the benefits of chastity, maybe she wouldn’t be in this difficult situation today.” While I was doing these ministries, I was also learning about John Paul II’s Theology of the Body and his book “Love and Responsibility.” I realized that this was the antidote to our culture of sexual hurt and confusion.
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How do you best explain what chastity is? Chastity is a virtue (like courage or honesty) that applies to a person’s sexuality. It means that you order your sexual desires according to the demands of real love. For example, when you love a person, you do whatever is necessary to keep from harming them, and you’re willing to make heroic sacrifices in order to do what is best for them. Chastity means that you take this definition of love and apply it to sex. Some think that chastity simply means “no sex.” But that’s abstinence: focusing on what you can’t do and can’t have. Chastity focuses on what you can do and can have, right now: a lifestyle that brings freedom, respect, peace, and even romance—without regret. Because chastity involves purity and self-control, some people think it means sexual repression. On the contrary, it frees a couple from the selfish attitude of using each other as objects, thus making them capable of true love. At what age should we start thinking about chastity? Is it only for people who are in relationships? Chastity is for everyone, whether they’re single, married, or even in the priesthood or religious life. Since we’re all called to be pure in heart, its’ a virtue that everyone ought to practice. Parents can begin teaching their children about the value of purity long before they teach them about the facts of life. For example, they can talk to them about the body being a temple of the Holy Spirit, the importance of modesty, how to treat other people with dignity and love, and how to rely upon God in prayer in order to grow in virtue. These things will help
Love them live a pure life as they grow older and How far is too far with my partner? begin to learn more about the gift of human There are a few ways to answer this question. If it were sexuality. a guy asking me, I would say, “Why are you asking me? Ask her dad. I’m sure he’ll tell you.” To know what is How do you know you’re ready to be in a “too far,” we could also ask ourselves, “How far would relationship? I want someone else going if he or she were dating my When discerning a potential relationship, future spouse right now?” But what’s more important it’s possible to find the right person at the than pondering these questions is realizing that “How wrong time, the wrong person at the right far is too far” is the wrong question to ask. If you were time, the wrong person at the wrong time, driving in a car, would you ask “how close can I get to and the right person at the right time. How the edge of that cliff?” We don’t think to ask the question do you know which is which? Don’t try to because we’re more interested in preserving our lives. In decide on your own. Stay connected to your the same way, if we love the person we’re dating, why family, your faith community, and God, so would we ask how close to sin we can get him or her? that you can tap into the wisdom of people We should be more interested in how close to God we who love you, instead of trusting only in your can lead them. Purity is not about following a list of rules attractions and desires. so that we’ll avoid hell. It’s about wanting heaven for the Also, take into consideration the fact that people we love. the purpose of dating is to find a spouse. If marriage is still 10 years away, the other What advice do you have for young people striving for person lives on the other side of the planet, a pure life? or you don’t see yourself marrying the Here are 10 ideas: person, then it’s probably not the time to Find good friends, and get involved in local youth group begin a relationship with that person. or campus ministry department. It’s much easier to be pure when you surround yourself with others who live What essential steps should I follow to the same lifestyle. prepare myself for a relationship? Deepen your prayer lives. Take up a devotion to Mary, Real love isn’t just about finding the especially the Rosary. “perfect person,” but about becoming the kind of person that the other deserves for Only date people who have the same high standards you to be. Therefore, root out all things in you do. your life that inhibit your ability to love. For Go to confession often. example, get rid of all pornography and If you own porn, trash it. any unhealthy addictions. Learn to serve Don’t make any life-changing decisions based upon others, and develop a deeper prayer life. If the opinion of your classmates, most of whom you’ll you have unhealed hurts in your life, take never see again after graduation. the time to heal those and go to counseling if necessary. Love isn’t something that just Read holy books. happens to lucky couples. It’s something If you feel your commitment to purity starting to fade, you need to grow and nourish, and there’s visit good websites, like chastityproject.com. much that can be done to till the soil. Make room for more silence in your life. Try going a month with no music in the car. How am I able to tell the difference between love and lust? How do I know if I love my Go on a few retreats each year to strengthen your faith. partner or only lust after them? St. John Paul II once wrote, “When a man and a woman are united by true love, each Karen Ho is currently working as a volunteer one takes on the destiny, the future of the other, as his or her own.” When you really at Parousia Media. We are blessed to love someone, you don’t just desire to be with them or to experience emotional or be able to include her interview with physical pleasure in their company. Rather, renowned Catholic Chastity speaker from you desire their holiness. You want what’s best for them, even if requires sacrifice the US, Jason Evert. Karen also has a blog on your part. It’s not wrong to experience sexual desires. What’s wrong is when we where you can read more of her work. make the fulfillment of those desires more important than actually doing what’s best pearlofscotland.wordpress.com for the other person.
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“What does love look like? It has the hands to help others. It has the feet to hasten to the poor and needy. It has eyes to see misery and want. It has the ears to hear the sighs and sorrows of men. That is what love looks like� St Augustine Maximilian Magazine
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louis & zelie martin lives of the saints:
BY SAMANTHA GIANNA “The good God gave me a father and mother more worthy of Heaven than of earth” – St Therese of Lisieux.
For the first time in the Catholic Church, a married couple with children were canonised as Saints in the same ceremony. Saints Louis and Zelie Martin were the parents of the well-known Saint Therese of Lisieux. At their canonisation, October 18, 2015, Pope Francis spoke of them in his homily, “The holy spouses Louis Martin and Marie-Azélie Guérin practised Christian service in the family, creating day by day an environment of faith and love which nurtured the vocations of their daughters, among whom was Saint Therese of the Child Jesus”. Born in 1823, Louis Martin was part of a family of soldiers. In the early years of his life Louis also spent time in military posts which taught him great discipline. His adoration for this rigid lifestyle, as well as his love for charity and contemplation, influenced his decision to enter the monastery to discern religious life. He would have continued at the monastery of the Augustinian Canons of the Great St. Bernard Hospice had he not been so terrible in Latin, which was compulsory. As a result of his inability to learn Latin, despite his hard efforts, he left the monastery and resided in Alencon where he successfully traded as a watchmaker. Just as skilled in trade as her spouse, Zelie was a talented lace maker. Zelie, like Louis, was born into a military family in 1831. She likewise had an unsuccessful attempt at pursing religious life. When she was refused acceptance to join the religious order of the sisters of the Hotel-Dieu, she learnt the craft of lace making and began her own business successfully trading intricate lace. Louis and Zelie providentially met in Alencon. As Zelie walked across the Saint Leonard Bridge, passing Louis, an interior voice said “This is he whom I have prepared for you.” After three months of courtship, they married on July 13, 1858. Together they bore nine children - two boys and seven girls. But grief and tragedy hit the Martin household with the death of their two baby boys, a five year old girl, and a six-and-a-half week old infant girl, all within three
years. Zelie’s heart rang with the pains of every mother who has lost their child. She described this grief to her sister in law who had lost her son, “When I closed the eyes of my dear little children and buried them, I felt sorrow through and through”. Because of this deep loss, Louis and Zelie intensified their love for their living children: Marie, 12, Pauline, 11, Leonie 9, Celine, 3, and their new-born, MarieFrancoise-Therese Martin. They taught their children to love God through their faithful and prayerful example, especially through suffering. Saint Therese, their youngest, saw the sanctity of her father before the world did. She wrote about the impression he left on her in her autobiography, “Sometimes his eyes were filled with tears which he strove in vain to keep back; and as he listened to the eternal truths he seemed no longer of this earth, his soul was absorbed in the thought of another world”. Zelie taught her children to pray daily and offer up their daily struggles for Christ. However, in 1877, at age 45, Zelie Martin died of inoperable breast cancer, leaving Louis to take care of the children. After her death, the Martin family moved to Lisieux. Their love for Christ which Zelie instilled in her children grew and saw all of her daughters eventually enter the convent. Despite knowing so much loss, Louis saw it an honour to be able to give his daughters to the Lord saying, “If I had anything better, I would not hesitate to offer it to him”. The end of his life was also not without great suffering. His last years were spent in a psychiatric hospital. He offered up his suffering to the Lord. In 1894, Louis Martin died at age 71.
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MATTERS PAUL ELARDE
Being in Relationship with Mary... Love Your Mum!
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elcome to ‘Why Mary Matters’. Each Issue we will be looking at the importance of the Blessed Virgin Mary in the Christian life. To do this we will draw from Holy Scripture, Holy Tradition and plain old common sense and logic. They all build to form a solid case to prove that devotion to Mary is not merely an ‘optional extra’ of Christianity. To a certain degree, each of the articles will build upon eachother to form a complete presentation, so if you miss one, be sure to pick up a back copy.
God is a family Scripture tells us that we are made in God’s image and likeness because the most foundational aspect of this truth is that we, like The Blessed Trinity, are relational beings. In order to love we must be in relationship with others, so even God Himself lives in an eternal relationship as Father, Son and Holy Spirit. St John Paul II wrote that, ‘God in His deepest mystery is not a solitude, but a family.’ Notice the Pope did not say ‘like a family’, but ‘is a family’. All Christians understand that we have a Father in heaven. This Father gives us His Son, so that we are all called to be brothers and sisters of Jesus. And what’s obviously missing in this family? A mother! So if Mary is the Mother of Jesus and we are brothers and sisters of Jesus, then Mary is our Mother too!
Living gifts Among the greatest of the gifts Jesus has given us is the gift of His very self in the Eucharist and the gift of His very own Mother, Mary. These are among the greatest gifts because they are living gifts! Nobody lives the fourth commandant more perfectly than Jesus; He honours His Father and His Mother. In life, many of us are not able to experience love from both our parents, but God wants to make sure that in the spiritual life, He
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Bring her your problems and let your heavenly mother intercede for you just like she did at the wedding of Cana. provides for us so that we are indeed a ‘two parent family’. Jesus wants us to experience the same tender love and caresses from Mary that He Himself experienced! God has held back nothing when it comes to giving His Mother every gift He could possibly give Her. He made sure that the gift of His Mother would be perfect and complete in every way by preserving Her free from the stain of sin, even original sin. This means we can have complete trust in Mary’s love and guidance. Mary’s purpose is to assist all Her children to get home to heaven, and like all good mothers, She will never rest until all Her children get home safely to Jesus and Her for all eternity. Who do you love more than your mum? There is no other relationship like mother
Love and child. Why? Because we grow from a single cell to a complete human baby within our mothers and then for so much of our early life, we are totally dependent upon our mothers. God made things that way.
Be spiritually formed in the womb of Mary Now God wants us to be spiritually formed in Mary, just as Jesus was physically. If it was good enough for Jesus then it is good enough for us! There is a heart to heart bond between mother and child that is beyond words. Jesus wants us to experience this with Mary like He did. In fact, He commanded this from the Cross when he said, “Here is your Mother”. But don’t be concerned if you may not have experienced this from your earthly mother - because no mother is perfect no matter how sincere she may be. But the great news is that you can still experience a perfect mother’s love from your heavenly Mother, who loves you more than you can even possibly imagine! Mary will bring comfort and Her love to console you, heal your wounds and wipe away your tears. And only Mary can bring to you the fullness of the Heart of Her Son Jesus, who is THE source of all happiness! If a relationship with Mary is new for you, then start today by asking Her to show you how She really is a Mother to you. Bring Her your problems and let your Heavenly Mother intercede for you just like She did at the wedding of Cana. If you already have a relationship with Mary, then it’s time to deepen that relationship into something absolutely amazing. How? By consecrating (entrusting) your life to Mary as She requested at Fatima. I highly recommend Fr Michael Gaitely‘s book and media selection called “33 Days to Morning Glory”.
Love your mum So will you open or close your heart to God’s gift of your heavenly Mother? Like some children – there are those who reject the love of their mother. They suffer badly in life because of their poor choices. Perhaps Mary’s motherly love will challenge us where we might be in our lives. Maybe Her purity or humility might really challenge us. In some ways, it might appear easier to reject than accept Her love. But never forget, Mary’s love is full of compassion and is united with God’s powerful love to heal and transform no matter where we are or what we have done in the past. Remember all relationships require communication, so in prayer you will learn to love your mum!
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PHOTO: JENNY SUN
Live
Love
For the
rest of your life Compiled by Naomi Spinks
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Love
How did you meet?
Geraldine & Leon G: It wasn’t love at first sight. We first met when Leon joined a church choir that I was already part of. Took us a while to warm up to each other but we got there eventually! L: I met Geraldine in a choir loft of a church and she was the pianist and I was a new guitar player. It did not start with a forte, rather with a steep crescendo leading to various movements and sonatas (and counting!) Photo by Daniel Fewchuk of ‘Tricky Dan Photography’ (www.trickydan.com)
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Love
What do you love about being married?
Vincenta & Justin V: I think I’m a better person – more patient. He’s my best friend, without him, I couldn’t do it. Life is full now. I don’t know how I felt before - I’ve forgotten. Marriage is based on truth and that way you can help each other to grow and then, together, you become a force to be reckoned with! J: There’s a sense of purpose. I was living for myself before, but now I’m living for others who are depending on me to be a better person. Photo by Michael Darmadi
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Love
What do you love about being married?
Lucy & Truong L + T: We love that marriage blesses us with a constant companion. We share our happiest moments and our saddest. You always have someone to hold your hand. Photo by Thomas Kwok
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Love
How did you meet?
Alison & Matthew A + M: We had met several times, but the one that started it was a rehearsal for a thanksgiving mass run by CASS at St. Joseph’s Enfield. Matt was talking to a friend and I went over to greet them. Little did we know, our friend had already detected sparks and slipped away. Needless to say, our conversation that day was a catalyst for many conversations to come. Five (and a bit) years later, we got married at the same church. Photo by Jenny Sun
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Love
FROM
BUDDHIST CATHOLIC to
spent some time at the convent. That day I spent there, I knew that this was the Order that God wanted me to join because when I was discerning, I received some visions related to the Franciscans. Each piece was like a jigsaw puzzle piece connected into a big picture. I was received by the Franciscan
The Franciscan Order Since I was turned down from the Orders that I visited, I was confused. One afternoon, I was at St Joseph’s Camperdown praying for God’s guidance; “Lord, I need more confirmation if You want me to join a religious order.” Within minutes, Fr Joseph Ho just walked into the church. He said to me, “I have a feeling that you will become a nun.” I did not reply but was in deep union with Christ. I did not mention my discernment to anyone. How did Fr Joseph know and give me such a confirmation? I then knelt in front of God and prayed, “I feel discouraged because every Order rejected my application. If it was Your will, let the Sisters approach me, so I know which is the Order that You want me to join.” Fr Joseph then referred me to the Religious Sisters of Mercy. But both of us remained passive and continued to discern God’s will. When we prayed, God answered; “for everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened” (Luke 11:10). An evening after adoration at St Benedict’s Church, a Franciscan nun, who I had never spoken to before, invited me to visit them. It was a sign from God. So, I
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Immaculatine Sisters in 2012. I was willing to surrender everything to God. But I knew my family would be very disappointed. When I informed my parents that I was going to a convent, they were upset. My youngest sister showed me some support after I shared with her how God had led and guided me. She said, “I share your experience, but I do not know Him. If this is the path that you choose, I believe that you must have thought about it.” Her support had comforted me a lot. However, my older sister felt upset. She blamed me for how much I had irritated our parents. Our mom did not understand the decision but thought I had gone mad due to the pressure from study. But dad, on the other hand, refused to talk to me. Jesus said, “Anyone who loves their father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me” (Matthew 10:34-37). So I entrusted my family to God’s care. I chose to follow Christ and surrender to His will. I had encountered His presence and I trusted
I was willing to surrender everything to God.
Love that He was a living god. For whatever He asked me to do, He must have a purpose in it. However, before I moved into the convent, I received visions indicating that I may have a marriage vocation. I was very confused and did not know what to do. As time passed, the message became more frequent. I consulted Sr Moira Debono, RSM and she suggested that I move into the convent first, keep praying and let God lead. I was not too bothered by the message and was all ready to move into the convent. I gave away my belongings, packed my luggage and informed some of my friends of my postulancy. Continually, I prayed for my family. I trusted that God would look after them. My superior said to me, “You are now part of our big family. Do not be upset. We will pray for them.” With a surrendering heart, I gave myself to God and moved into the convent in October, 2012.
Our Lady Of Sorrows On the feast of the Immaculate Conception, I received my habit and became a postulant. I detached myself from all things in my life and completely offered myself to God. I started to learn more about God and how to live in a community. I enjoyed the prayerful life, studying theology and serving the poor. One day, I asked our Blessed Mother to reveal her face to me because many people told me that she was immaculately beautiful. In my vision, I did not see her face but I saw her heart. She taught me that inner beauty reflected true beauty. I learned more about her every day when I prayed in the chapel. In the convent, there was a mournful portrait in my room. At first, I felt terrified looking at the woman who dressed in black and had a pale face. Later, I found out that the portrait was Our Lady of Sorrows. “No wonder she looked so sad and mournful,” I thought to myself. I admired her more knowing how much she had suffered. That day, I made a very personal devotion to her. Before Christmas, I was disturbed in my prayers. I saw a vision of myself getting married again. I felt frustrated. I asked myself, “How could I replace Jesus with any human?!” Of course I couldn’t. But the visions kept coming back when I prayed. So, I stopped contemplating, instead I kept my mind focused on praying the rosary. I didn’t tell anybody in the convent because I was worried that it would affect my formation. With my superior’s permission, I met my sponsor, Fr Paul Rowe. I told him that I loved Jesus and did not want to exchange Him for anyone else. Fr Paul replied, “If you are called to marriage, it does not mean that you would love God less … .” He suggested that I keep praying and keep discerning God’s will. I was willing to do anything for Him and continued my journey as a postulant. ‘If God made me a postulant,’ I thought, ‘there must be lessons for me to learn before I could move on.’ I knew that I may leave the convent one day, so I especially treasured the moments with the Sisters, learning theology, visiting
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I chose to follow Christ and surrender to His will. I had encountered His presence and I trusted that He was a living god. For whatever He asked me to do, He must have a purpose in it.
Love the sick at the hospital and serving the homeless. Our superior said, “Adopt humility because we are Franciscans.” Humility was one of the biggest lessons that I learnt. I indeed learnt many good things during the time in the convent. As St Francis of Assisi taught us, “Lord, make me an instrument of your peace, where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; where there is sadness, joy.” I adopted the Franciscan spirituality and lived a life of poverty. Since we did not have much of an income, a Sister gave up the opportunity to visit her family that year. In exchange, she asked me to go home to visit my family. I flew back home after Christmas. But many friends as well as my family doubted why I gave up everything and became a postulant. One day, I visited St Francis Xavier Church and received warm welcome. This was one of the places where God had led me to give my testimony. I gave a sharing about my vocation story and it inspired many young people.
The Days At The Convent Ended On Good Friday, I contemplated on how much Jesus suffered on the cross. I felt His pain. When I solemnly venerated the passion of Christ, I heard God say, “Your father is sad.” I asked, “Is this You, my Lord?” He repeated, “Your father is sad.” I asked, “Which father? The Heavenly Father or my biological father?” He replied, “I saw him cry a few times.” I immediately knew that He referred to my biological father. I asked, “What do You want me to do?” God said, “If you finish your degree, he will be happy.” I started to wonder whether the voice was from God. I doubted because in order to finish the degree, I had to leave the Order. It also meant that I had to ask my parents to support my tuition. I wondered if it was the Devil, trying to stop me from continuing my postulancy? So I prayed, “If this is You, O Lord, give me some confirmation, so I know what to do.” He continued, “Your mother will be happy too.” I repeated, “If this is You, O Lord. Give me some confirmation. It will be a big change in my life. I need stronger confirmation before I make the move.” Then, He said, “I love your father as
much as I love you.” He said it so gently; His words were full of love. I was overwhelmed with His loving care and tears flooded my eyes. I loved God. I knew He had been looking after my family. I looked into God’s eyes and questioned, “You love my father as much as You love me? I believe in You and I love You. But my father does not. He even says bad things about You. But You love him?” God did not reply, but I knew that His love was unconditional. God revealed to me how merciful He was. He even loved those who did not love Him. Nonetheless, I refused to leave the convent. I asked for firmer confirmations from the Lord. Indeed, He answered. Together with my superior’s and spiritual director’s confirmations, I left the Order after Eastertide. My faith had been tested many times. But through these experiences, I was drawn closer to God. And I met so many religious people and parishioners during this journey. If I was not a postulant, I would not have had the chance to meet them. I trusted that God’s plan was always better than my plan. I continually chose to follow Him because whenever I followed, I encountered God.
Love God: Surrender To His Will To love God is to surrender ones will completely. It had been amazing how He had led me on my journey and become a part of my life. I let Him form me and I have lived a life that was better than I ever could have imagined! Let us love God with Blessed Mother Mary’s heart. And I encourage everyone to seek and follow His will. “‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the Lord. ‘As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts’” (Isaiah 55:8-9).
His words were full of love. I was overwhelmed with His loving care and tears flooded my eyes.
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“What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family� Mother Teresa Maximilian Magazine
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