CANDY WASHINGTON - How to Turn Self-Love into Power Couple Goals

By Candy Washington How to Turn Self - Love Into Power Couple Goals

Let’s face it, you can’t have a love issue without first talking about self-love, and I say this from my own personal experience. I started my journey to self-love and self-discovery after a string of intermittent and non-committal relationships with men that weren’t in a place to be a true partner to me. But from these experiences I was able to glean life lessons that have led me to live a fuller and more joyful life. They also led me into being in a healthy, loving, happy, secure, and grounded relationship with a wonderful man. It is my hope that these insights do the same for you.

But let’s start from the beginning. Here I was, an accomplished entrepreneur who founded her own media company, a published author with three books under her belt, an international podcast host, a Georgetown Alumnae, and a financially secure woman, that was choosing to date men that were either emotionally unavailable or financially unstable, and oftentimes both. The turning point for me was when the guy that I was dating at the time called me ‘selfish and self-centered’ because I was proud of my accomplishments and was sharing my future professional goals with him. Mind you, he didn’t have a steady job, his own car, or his own place to stay, but he had the audacity to belittle and dismiss me for my career achievements. It was gaslighting at its finest. Something in me snapped and I decided at that point that I had enough of not being loved, valued, appreciated, and respected in my relationships. I decided that I was done with being emotionally abused. I knew that I had to do things differently in order to find the love that I truly deserved.

So, this time around, instead of looking at the men and shaking my finger at everything that was wrong with them, I took that same finger and pointed at myself to see why I was choosing men that were like them. I had to get brutally honest with myself and look inward instead of placing the blame outward. I had to look in the mirror and ask, “What do I need to work on and heal within myself in order to attract a man that not only truly loves me, but was also truly worthy of my love?” The truth was, I didn’t know. So, I set out on a personal journey of self-discovery to find out and below are the key steps that I took on my road to self-love.

5 Steps to Self-Love and Power Couple Goals 1 . I went to therapy Although I love my friends and family, I knew that I needed an objective and professional person in my life that could guide me in my journey to self-love and self-discovery. I found a therapist that I trusted and started going weekly to unpack not only my current state-of-being, but also my childhood and past experiences that shaped the way I see and move within the world. I had to tap into my own subconscious beliefs and patterns that were dictating my life choices and that were ultimately sabotaging my love life. It wasn’t always easy or pretty. In fact, it was painful, hard, and challenging to really dig deep into myself and my past to see what was driving me on the soul-level. I can’t promise you that there won’t be times when you want to quit, but I can promise you it will be worth it because on the other side of the grit and the fear, is true freedom. The freedom to love yourself for exactly who you are and the freedom to make conscious choices about what you do and do not tolerate in your life because you know and believe that you are enough.

Power Couple Goal: Seek support and counseling before you need it and when you need it.

Going to therapy when things are in a good place is a great way to strengthen your relationship so you have the tools to deal with fights, arguments, disagreements, and problems in a healthy way

My highlights: • She’s founded her own company, 1214 Media Productions • She’s published 3 books in under 1 year • She’s currently executive producing a short film, ‘Narcissist,’ that explores the role social media plays in the mental health of young adults • She was featured in LA Style’s Magazine 100 Women in Power Issue • She was the keynote speaker at Wellness on and has spoken at BlushCon, Altitude Summit, and other events • She produces a weekly self-care podcast that was picked up by Fire

Media for distribution Link to her Instagram @candywashington

rather than having things escalate to a negative space and then trying to go back and pick-up the pieces. But with, it’s never too late to seek support. So, if things aren’t in a healthy place in your relationship, there is no shame in going to couples counseling to get an outside and professional opinion on how to heal and grow your relationship. 2 . I committed to the process I took a step back from dating and chose to focus on myself in order to fully commit to the process of working on me. To do this, I had to work on my own self-awareness and fully commit to looking at myself in a realistic and authentic way. The key to seeing my own limitations, my own areas of improvement, my own weaknesses, and my own shortcomings, in a way that was healing and not condemning, was to simultaneously hold space for self-love, self-compassion, and selfunderstanding without judgment. I would speak to myself in a kind and loving way. I would cut myself some slack and not judge myself. I had to learn how to fully embrace and radically accept all of me and allow myself the grace to make mistakes, to be a work-in-progress, and to not have to be perfect. Being both the shadow and light didn’t mean that I wasn’t worthy of love. It didn’t mean that I was broken, damaged, or flawed. It didn’t mean that I was lacking. It didn’t mean that I wasn’t enough. It simply meant that I was human.

Power Couple Goal: Commit to each other and commit to the relationship through both thick and thin. Shift your perspective from, “Are we going to get through this?” to “How are we going to get through this?” When you really commit to making the relationship work, your mindset needs to change to knowing that things aren’t going to be perfect and roses all of the time, but that doesn’t mean that your relationship isn’t strong enough to weather the storm. There will be inevitable down and hard times but your equal commitment to be a team and facing any and all obstacles together will sustain your relationship during the tough times. Also, hold the space for love, compassion, and understanding for your partner. Nobody’s perfect and we all fall short, make mistakes, and have things that we need to work on. Speak to your partner in a kind and loving way and ask the same from your partner. Committing to your relationship is the fundamental decision that will make your relationship stronger after the hard times. 3 : I took ownership I previously mentioned that I took that finger of blame and pointed it at myself, but I want to be clear that it’s not about blaming anyone or about who’s wrong or right, it’s about taking back your power by being accountable and responsible for your own life. As long as I was blaming the ‘no good’ men in my life, I had no power to allow real love into my life because it meant that someone outside of myself was responsible for my happiness and ultimately, my self-worth. The moment I took ownership for the choices that I chose to make and what was going on in my life, I felt empowered. I felt in control and left any feeling of victimhood behind. I forgave myself for any past choices that I made that didn’t serve my highest good. I did the best I could for where I was at in that particular moment and what I needed was self-compassion not selfcondemnation. Taking ownership for who you are is the single most powerful thing you can do for your life. It frees you to choose differently and to truly get what you want and deserve in this world.

Power Couple Goal:

Take ownership for your 50% in the relationship. When things are going well, acknowledge and appreciate yourself for showing up fully and in a positive way for yourself and your partner. Also, acknowledge and appreciate your partner during the good times. Let them know how much you love them when things are going well and not just when you’re trying to get them back on your side after a fight or disagreement. Cultivate your relationship during the good times to build a stronger foundation for the long-term. Additionally, take ownership for your part when things aren’t going well. It takes two to tango, so taking responsibility for your part when things are tough is equally as important as holding your partner accountable for their role as well. Admitting your part is a powerful way to gain trust and security with your partner because they know that gives them permission to do the same. They can be honest about their own shortcomings without the fear of abandonment because you’re being strong enough to be honest about yours.

4. I dated myself I’ve been single throughout my life, but just because I was single, that didn’t mean that I was honoring being with myself. I had to choose to date myself in an authentic way in order to discover who I was at my core. I had to discover what my likes were, what my dislikes were, what my needs were, what my wants were, what my passions were, what my pet peeves were, and what my desires were. I basically had to start from scratch and really get to know myself. I had to get in tune with my body, mind, spirit, and intuition in order to know myself fully. It was from this place of knowingness that I was able to give myself permission to fully love, accept, and see myself for all that I am. It was through this process that I finally understood unconditional love. It allowed me to love myself intrinsically, for just being who I am, that was enough.

Power Couple Goal: Never stop dating each other. Never stop striving to know each other at deeper and more meaningful levels. Carve out time during the week to spend time together and to go out on dates. Keep the romantic spark alive by checking in with your partner to make sure that their needs are being met and be vocal about what you need to feel loved and desired too. Don’t allow yourself or your partner to get complacent in the relationship. Commit to each other to make putting in the effort to keep the relationship fresh, exciting, and new. Just like the journey to selfdiscovery is lifelong and on-going, the same goes for your relationship. The beauty of a healthy relationship is that every day you get to discover new things about your partner to love and you get to reveal new things about yourself for your partner to love.

5: I implemented a self-care routine On my journey to self-love and self-discovery, the biggest lifestyle change I had to make was to have a tangible self-care routine in place. I had to learn how to self-soothe during emotionally difficult times and how to create a lifestyle of honoring the unique space that I take up in the world in order to create a life of peace, love, and acceptance. I started meditating, journaling, taking walks in nature, listening to positive podcasts, seeking support from friends and family, and learning how to not take things personally. This also meant creating healthy boundaries with friends, family, and co-workers. It meant taking time just for myself and doing what I needed to do to be healthy and whole. It meant not being afraid of having standards and communicating my wants and needs with others. It meant having my ‘no’ be a ‘no’ and my ‘yes’ by a ‘yes.’ It meant working on healthy and effective communication skills. It meant surrendering to a lifelong process of choosing to fall in love with myself every day and to make my own well-being my first and best priority.

Power Couple Goal: Have a self-care routine in place for your relationship. This means creating the space to have healthy and constructive conversations with each other instead of fighting to be right, asking for space and time instead of ignoring and ghosting each other, doing fun activities together that bring you closer, and making the time to do things without each other so you’re still cultivating yourself as a healthy and fulfilled individual.

SOUL SINGING SENSATION “ JACKIE B. ”

Whitney Houston “ You Give Good Love ”

Cover by Soul Singer @Only1JackieB

Soul Singer @Only1JackieB Pays tribute to Whitney Houston on the 8th Anniversary of her passing.

On the 8th anniversary of the musical icon Whitney Houston’s passing, and Soul Singing Sensation @Only1JackieB whose captivating, mellifluous voice has been compared to the late, great Whitney Houston, did her proud.

As an accomplished and well-traveled nightclub singer Jackie B. has done many tunes but creating a whole set to honor the late great Whitney Houston is something that you take time to really prepare for. On that day, Jackie B. was ready.

The audience in attendance had only experienced the viral video of Jackie B. singing “I Will Always Love You”,

Next up Jackie B. will be performing on the same card as R&B crooner Ray Lavander at the Boss Women Brunch With A Purpose event in Atlanta on March 8th.

and came out to see if she could hold a note to the rest of a Whitney Tribute. She did not disappoint. From singalongs to standing ovations, the night was all about Whitney Houston’s presence.

Also on hand to open for Jackie B. was Atlanta’s own Fitzgerald ThaPoet, who entertained the crowd on hand with spoken word. Finally, a big thank you to Where It Begins Magazine for partnering with us to pull off this amazing tribute.

Next up Jackie B. will be performing on the same card as R&B crooner Ray Lavander at the Boss Women Brunch With A Purpose event in Atlanta on March 8th. After that Jackie B. performs solo for Conversations & Music presented by Size Overrated Magazine at the Ashley Stewart store in Hampton, VA. Then, the next big appearance for Jackie B. will be opening the show with her Whitney Houston Tribute at the Black Media Honors in Atlanta on April 26th, 2020. After that Jackie B. will be headed on a whirlwind, five-city tour, starting in Atlanta on Mother’s Day. The tour will envoke the carefree, underground Speakeasy era, that takes you back a full century to the Roaring ‘20s, with costumes, speakeasy props and a continued call to the bar for alcohol.

By Brenda Mokoena Communication & Having Individual Traits

Isn’t love admirable love the most amazing thing, we meet as strangers or acquaintances and from there fall helplessly in love, head over heels and cannot wait to be part of each other’s lives? Although in falling in love a lot of factors are involved it begins with your or in your eyes. Smile, appearance, shape, laugh, walk too many features to mention that attracts individuals to each other.

Acknowledge and accept your better half/love has individual qualities/traits, you can neither control or get rid of, in fact you loved him/ her for those individualistic characteristics.

Even as we begin to date in those, first heady days we cannot wait to be in each other’s arms, dare I say, forever, we are unstoppably impressed by each other’s individualistic traits? You will hear someone, when they have sheep’s eyes i.e., they are deeply in love, say, “I love everything about him/her even skewed serious mouth” and a few years down the line they never liked that serious skewed mouth.

Someone meet someone who loves football or reality shows to death and a few years some month laments the fact that someone loves football or reality shows as if it is the only thing on earth. Unfortunately, this applies to significant things like culture, religion and embedded values like being kind to all human beings and the other partner start having misgivings with that.

Love, especially, in this day and age perhaps years gone by it was possible, you cannot suppress or control what somebody else is about or want to declare, it is impossible. In all likely hood when someone is being suppressed or controlled, they will burst out like cumulus clouds after some time. Furthermore, at the same time you do not want to live with your clone or someone devoid of being his or her usual self because you hate their individual characteristics. Love admirable love is about all the wonderful positive qualities patience,

About Cynthia Stone

I was a product of neglect. Both of my parents were abused as children, making it hard for them to express love at home. I grew up feeling unloved and unwanted. During my teenage years into my twenties, I would give up my power in the hopes of being loved. It never happened. I went from unfulfilling relationship to unfulfilling relationship, trying to fill the void in my heart. The result was being with controlling, verbally abusive men, or ones with substance abuse problems. I put up with A LOT and it never worked to get what I really yearned for.

After giving everything, I had to make one more relationship works with a controlling man I was with for nine years, I still only received just a few crumbs of love in return. I was so confused because I really believed I was doing everything right, but the relationship was killing me, and I fantasized about ending it all.

I started to believe that love was something that happened to the lucky few, and started to believe that I was not worthy. It was one of the most heartbreaking times of my life to think I was going to be alone forever.

Not wanting to believe that this was what life was all about for me, I prayed to God to help me out of this state of despair and my prayers were answered. In a silent retreat, I was instructed to divorce him and begin anew. Although terrified of divorce, I listened to that inner voice and started on a new (inward) journey. I started on my quest to find out how to be happy and in the process, I cracked the Love Code and have committed myself to helping others follow suit. I am now with the love of my life and in a constant state of bliss. I wish to help others discover their blocks and achieve a fulfilling relationship within and with another. I want you to know that no matter your history, you too can have a life with love.

My Educational Background • MSW • BSC • Addictions Counsellor • Community Worker • Life Skills Coach • Life Coach • Mastermind Facilitator • Light Priestess • Mega Speaker • Pure Spiritual Intelligence • NLP Practitioner

underway, an award-winning speaker and 2x award-winning leader. I am also the author of the upcoming book “How To Design Your Destiny”.

Because my life is dedicated to personal and professional mastery, I always have a few mentors I work with simultaneously, at various capacities. Therefore, my work is always evolving and deepening. Every year I invest tens of thousands of dollars into my own personal growth, healing, and empowerment. I am committed to helping and healing others to live a life OF purpose ON purpose.

Services Provided I am confident I can help you no matter what your relationship challenge may be.

Whether you are: • single and want a relationship, are afraid of meeting the same type of person or are afraid you are doomed to be single forever, • in a relationship with challenges you are unsure how to overcome, • wanting support with conscious uncoupling with your partner or • Going through break up or divorce and want to heal and find yourself again “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”

Rumi “Healing is the application of Love to the parts that hurt inside.” - Ron & Mary Hulnick, USM

Imagine the Possibilities… • Get to the root to change the fruit. • Overcome the obstacles to reach your infinite potential. • Change your state and change your fate., raising your self-esteem to create a more meaningful life, with passion ignited and attract more beneficial relationships. • Learn communication skills that will have you and your partner feel close, respected, loved, and supported • Reach your potential to attract a mate that will love you with every fiber of their being.

compassion and being sensitive (I cannot stop preaching about these and putting them to practice in all areas of our lives especially love life). When you love someone, you need to acknowledge and accept who they are, perhaps it is a different ballgame if who they are adversely affect your relations.

Often bare in mind that you loved them for their individualistic traits in the first place. Communicate as if your life and love life depend on it because it does depend on it. In all areas of our life’s communication is a deal breaker more so in love, relationship and marriage. I compare communication to a house that the plumbing is in perfect working order no leaking water, warm water from geyser to shower or sink, not to mention loo, drains, sprinklers in garden, in perfect working order.

For all ends and purposes that is how your communication lines should be in love, relationships and marriage in perfect working order, faultless and flowing and where there is a leakage i.e. miscommunication it should be fixed. Just as you give your body food as fuel, exercise for fitness and getting rid of stress or reaching out for supplement like omega c or calcium and multivitamins for kids and so that is how you should perceive communication supplement for love, relationship and marriage.

Fortunately for us the world has come to a peppermint refreshing realization that we can fall in love and marry from any culture, race or creed. Communication plays a vital role in bridging gap of how we get to know each other and continue relations because after communication follows continuity, co –operation and without communication it is miscommunication, discontinuity and distance. Often financial problems are given as leading cause for high divorce rate but many of the problems for high separation can be traced back to broken communication lines if you put cheating aside for a while. Communication is a life skill ask communication companies that are making billions of dollars out of their communication companies and so we should recognize importance of communication. Hence, I am saying communicate as if your life, love, relationship and marriage depend on it because it does depend upon it.