First Place: Dandy Man Lore by Darren Defreitas

First Place: Short Fiction Dandy Man Lore Darren Defreitas

“They don’t make them humans like they used to,” I warn to the juvenile demons. Their various inhuman figures gather around the clear puddle of water in the deep forest of Honeydew. “Can it! Ya old has-been!” retorts Vermillios, their leader. They were a gang of three; the first one was The Glob. His body was purple and slimy, but his skin would glitter and shine if any light were to refract on it. To be honest, he looked like a unicorn had an orgasm and the ejaculate decided to come alive and live a life of its own. The second was Hell Hound. He looked like a human male, except for one thinghe had the head and tail of a bulldog. But, if that wasn’t bizarre enough, in between his legs grew a thick crown of fur that made it impossible to tell whether he was dog or man down there. Yikes! Finally, we have Vermillios. He was the most human-looking of the three; which, is something no demon would ever be proud ofand he was no exception. Aside from his sharp pointed ears and his pale white skin, the rest of his form was pretty underwhelming. If it’s worth mentioning, his eyes were a deep purple color and his lips were painted blue. His white hair was styled in a long, white braid; even though, in demon years, he would be considered very young. The three demons were using an ancient, demonic, magic spell: Eye of Horus, that allows the user to watch over another being. Their target, at that moment, was the Dandy Man, the new, hot-shot demon that I had been hearing so much about! He feeds on young kid’s souls. He first appears to them in mirror and he tricks them into summoning him into the real world. After that, he tricks the poor suckers into committing suicide. That’s how he gets ‘em! Not bad if I do say so myself. I’d love to have joined that Dandy Man in the days of my youth, but I’ve had my fair share of fun. I am over 1,000 years old and my days of ending innocent lives are over. To be honest, over the years, I’ve grown weary of humans. As the three juvenile demons continue to look into the body of water, the story unfolds. The Dandy Man was leading a rather succulent, little girl into a tornado, to what appeared to be her very demise. “What do you think she taste like V?” inquires The Glob, saliva building in his orifice. “I dunno. I’ve never had a human child before,” Vermillios replies. “It probably tastes sweet like candy!” He continues. Hell Hound barks and wags his tale in elation as his salivary glands activate. Hell Hound doesn’t possess the ability of speech. Some demons aren’t so blessed. “Maan, that Dandy Man is one lucky bastard, I wanna be just like him and devour as many humans as I want!” Vermillios proclaims. All three of the demons laugh obnoxiously in response. Incredibly irritating!

“Silence, you imbeciles!” I reprimanded them. “What’s the big idea, old man??” confronted Vermillios. “Why are you all so fixated with humans!? Give it a rest already!” I replied. “I know you’re not talking right now, considering what you did!” says Vermillios as he flicked his purple tongue over his fangs. The atmosphere in the dark forest became tense. The water in the glowing puddle ripples, and the wind blows through the air. Dead leaves were sent cascading in the dark sky as I looked that foolish Vermillios dead in the eyes. He grins victoriously. The three demons step up to me, as if wanting a bout. “Tell me Mr. Piper, what did it feel like?” asked Vermillios. I said nothing in response. “What did it feel like when you made all those little kids walk right off the cliff? Their fragile human bodies hitting the rocks, splattering, killing them instantly. What did it feel like?” Vermillios whispers as he walks closer to me. “Wasn’t it... beautiful?” “Is that how the story goes? I’ve never heard that version before.” I replied. “Don’t act all high and mighty!” “Do you mean holier than thou?” which gains me an annoyed growl from Vermillios. “That’s not what this is about, young lads, you see, the reason why I say this is because humans are very dangerous. And I believe, that as demons, we should avoid meddling in the affairs of humans at all costs.” They all looked at each other in shock and exchanged a few incredulous looks. They howled in laughter, their irritating voices reverberating through the dark forest, and unfortunately, in my brain. “Are you out of your mind?” Vermillios said, “Humans are weak! They’re toys! Tools! For us to manipulate and use as we see fit!” “You’re wrong. Humans are the most destructive and evil creatures imaginable-” I say before I was interrupted. “If humans are so dangerous, then how about a bet!? Dandy man swallows that little girl’s soul like a cup of noodles!” In that moment, I thought to myself. “Never had I encountered a creature so unbelievably stupid.” “Of course, Dandy Man will devour her soul! Why would I bet against something that I believe to be true!?” Sadly, the young lad failed to understand the point I was trying to make. Young demons are so poorly educated these days. “Pass,” I replied frustrated. “I knew it! You’re so full of shit that you don’t even believe the shit you spew!” Suddenly, a voice emerged out of woods. “I’ll agree to your wager.” We all turned around in shock as she appeared: a woman in a lacy, black, revealing dress. Her lips and hair were a pure shade of blood-red. She slowly saun-

tered over to us. I was shocked at this gesture because, from what I could tell, she was a mere human. “Good evening, gentlemen,” she greeted provocatively. “Who the hell are you?” Vermillios replied. “Oh, where are my manners? My name is Lucy. It’s very nice to meet you.” She spoke as coolly and calmly as one speaks to their child or a close friend and her voice sounded as if she was always attempting to seduce you. “I overheard a bit of your conversation earlier and I’d be happy to bet against you,” she informed Vermillios. Vermillios doesn’t reply immediately. He spent time scanning and analyzing the new opponent, while the other two demons did the same. It was only a matter of time before the dark woman spoke again. “Is something the matter?” “Are you... human?” The woman paused a brief moment, and then, she smiled. “Well, what else would I be?” she replied nonchalantly. Vermillios grinned victoriously. He exchanged a few looks with his demon brethren and nodded. “You’ve got yourself a deal—human.” A bolt of excitement pulsed through the three young demons. This was the moment they had all been anticipating! I could tell that they were all very exuberant about this premature “catch.” But, contrary to them, I knew that something wasn’t right. Since when are humans so bold and brazen that they would do this sort of thing? And, one lone woman, no less. No doubt that this woman struck me as sketchy. When I looked into her black eye-shadow coated eyes, there was no sign of weakness. She was utterly fearless in the face of three demons, and her smile was telling of something more, something deeper than the deepness of this dark, otherworldly forest. She was no ordinary human. She had a motive. How did she even find us? I wondered. Could it have been those three fools and their incessant, obnoxious laugher? Any regular human who heard laughter in a place like this would surely scurry off in the opposite direction with their tail in between their legs. But, not this woman. She had done the exact opposite of that, and as a result, she has entered the lion’s den—or should I say demon’s den—on her own accord. The woman slowly walked towards us, keeping a determined gaze as she approached. She then broke eye contact as she looked into the puddle, displaying the story of that fool, Dandy Man. As I look into the pool of water, I can see the little girl and Dandy Man on-looking into the great storm. For a brief moment, I saw a flicker of emotion in her eyes, that at first, I thought I had imagined. “What do you say we make this a little bit more interesting?” the woman said as she squatted and swirled her finger in the water around the little girl’s image. “If I win, you must offer your souls to me.” There it was. Her reason for coming all the

way out here. I knew that she had a motive. Every suspicion that I had, had been confirmed in that one moment, but many of my questions still remained unanswered. The mystery continued to unravel. “Our souls?” Vermillios replied. He appeared to be quite shocked, and rightfully so. What business does a human have with the soul of a demon? “And if we win?!” The Glob interjects. “Then you can have mine,” she replied bluntly, as she waved her hand across her décolletage. The young demons’ eyes light up. She had successfully enticed them, but something was amiss. I felt it in my demon soul. They celebrate prematurely. Normally, demons are not usually able to harm human beings or, should I say, there would be no point, unless the human agrees, signs a contract, or makes a deal with the demon. That’s why old, Mr. Dandy Man was only allowed to enter once the child allows it. That also explains why Dandy Man was not able to directly inflict damage on any child, and instead, resorts to tricking the child into committing suicide. If a human doesn’t make agreement to these things, then a demon doesn’t have access to his or her soul, even after he or she dies. Not many humans, or, no human in their right mind would make any sort of deal with a demon. So, you could imagine the excitement that the three demons felt when a human willingly appeared to have sought this out themselves. “You’ve got yourself a deal, human. We three demons wager our souls... for yours.” The woman smiled and I felt the air grow cold. “Are you imbeciles serious!?” I attempted in protest. “Can it, Piper! Don’t get involved!” Vermillios snapped back. I stayed silent in defeat. He can’t say that I didn’t try to warn him. For this next part, I have to warn you, you’re not going to believe this. Things became interesting. The little girl in the puddle out-foxes the Dandy Man. It turned out that this nine-year-old, little twat was aware of the fact that she was dealing with a demon. Out of absolutely nowhere, in the plot twist of the century, this little girl transforms into a witch! She gets the drop on Dandy Man and turns him into a cute, little porcelain doll. I WAS STUNNED! We were all stunned. We could not even believe what we had witnessed. After a few moments of silence, Vermillios breaks the silence! “D-D-Dandy Man just-“ Before the young demon even completed his sentence, the woman snapped her fingers; and, out of thin air, a flame appeared on the head of Hell Hound, sending him into a state of complete and utter panic! The other two demons turned and reacted in shock. The dog-like demon helplessly scurried around on all fours, rolling on the ground in an attempt to find relief, but it was in vain. The eternal flame would not subside. The woman smiles a toothy grin for the first time and her eyes open wide. She begins to laugh a dark and twisted cackle! “Don’t worry boy, allow me to help,” she said sardonically. She snapped her finger a second time and, all of a sudden, the water in the

puddle became foggy. A large tentacle sprung forth and wrapped around Hell Hound. Suddenly, more tentacles sprung and their suction cups latched onto the dog-like demon, dragging him into the water. Hell Hound helplessly dug his claws into the ground in resistance, but the tentacles overpower him and pull him straight to the depths of hell. She laughs and laughs as Vermillios suddenly springs into action. He scrunched his face and veins began bulging all over his entire body. A green aura engulfs his body and his eyeballs roll to the back of his head. The skin in his forehead rips open as two horns grow from it. Two large moth wings emerged from his back, and he takes flight. The Glob was totally unnerved, and like a frightened prey before its predator. He was stunned. Vermillios spreads his wings and the wind in the forest danced in response, the leaves on the trees, torn from their stems, were sucked into a powdery vortex. Those foolish demon-youths had made a deal with the devil. No, it was far worse than that. They had made a deal with a human, and they were trying to go against that deal. I suppose, I don’t blame them for resisting. It’s instinctual to want to protect yourself when under attack. Self-preservation is the most primal of instincts. The vortex raged, but the woman was unfazed. Her long, red hair swirled in the wind, but her feet stayed anchored to the ground. Her stoic expression made her appear to be even more unwavering than the large trees of the deep forest. The vortex abruptly hurls itself at the witch and, with snap of her finger and a wave of her arm, the vortex was redirected towards The Glob. A harsh, powdery substance engulfed the poor, pathetic creature. As I stood from a distance, I saw his moist skin start to evaporate, creating a purple effervescence. He was clearly in excruciating pain but, lucky for him, it didn’t last very long. Shortly after that, his body had vanished, becoming one with the atmosphere in a cloud of violet smog. “You think demons are the only creatures capable of performing dark magic?” said the woman. A fact that Vermillios must not have known in that moment, but a fact that I had known for far too long. It was at this moment, Vermillios had realized the futility of the situation and the error of his ways. I watched as any hope he had of surviving disappeared along with his two comrades. I watched as the defeated demon fell to the ground in a wave of despair. He looked to the minimal worn out remains of his fallen comrades, and for a while there, it really looked like he was about to weep. But demons don’t do that. The woman approached him silently. She didn’t speak. Their visual perspectives had shifted. It was now that the human stood above the demon. He looked into her eyes and I couldn’t tell what he was thinking or feeling- if it was a look that begged for mercy, or a look that conveyed acceptance of his fate. Before I could process it, his body was ablaze by the snap of a finger. His ear curdling screams shrouded the deep forest. The woman looked on, at her fallen opponents indifferently. As the flame subsided, she walked over to the puddle and picks up a glowing, violet shard. She then walked over to the melted remains of The Glob and picks up anoth-

er. She walked towards the burning ashes of Vermillios and picked up a third shard. As I stared in awe, I am snapped back into reality by the gaze of her obsidian eyes. A passing thought swam through my mind that maybe I was her next victim. My heart actually began to race. “You weren’t part of the deal,” she said bluntly. “Lucky you,” she added. “What are those?” I asked, referring to the shards that she had just collected. “These are the ingredients that I need to complete my new concoction,” she says in a slightly enthusiastic tone. “Is that so?” I said to myself and laughed. That’s the thing about humans; it’s never about fun and games. It’s always work, work, work. There’s always a catch. There is always an ulterior motive behind their actions. “What are you really after?” I inquired. I was curious to know. She stopped dead in her tracks. This next part I remember most vividly: the branches of the then, leafless trees creaked in anticipation. What she said next solidified my beliefs about humans. It showed that fundamental difference between demons and humans. It reinforced why I believe that they are the most dangerous creatures. She turned around, smiled, and said, “Everything.” I was speechless. What does that even mean? “I want everything that this world has to offer and I will crush anyone, or anything, that tries to stand in my way.” The air was still for a brief moment. She then sauntered away and disappeared into the deep, dark forest. I did not know it at the time, but the events that had transpired that day were a catalyst to so much more. The screams are endless, the pain is eternal, and everything has been annihilated in the epic apocalypse. The balance is shifted. Humans and demons become one. And the woman becomes—God.