CEOMOM Fall 2019

Fall 2019

LET’S GET REAL: THE JOURNEY BACK TO YOU BY HOLLY CAPLAN INTRODUCING NEW “MOMS YOU SHOULD KNOW” DIRECTORY

KENYA MOORE CORA JAKES COLEMAN Talks Faith, Adoption & Being a Ferocious Warrior

On Her IVF Journey, Being a New Mom and Helping Other Women Become Moms

Journey to Motherhood

MOMS SHARE STORIES OF INFERTILITY, PREGNANCY LOSS, SURROGACY, ADOPTION & AUTISM

WHEN BEAUTIFUL SKIN IS ALL YOU NEED www.mixiavenue.com

CONTENTS 05 FROM THE EDITOR In our Fall 2019 issue, we are telling the stories of women who know the stigma and pain that come when your dream of motherhood is deferred.

12 A CONVERSATION WITH MALINDA WILLIAMS Editor-in-Chief, Vonna Matthews, had a transparent and inspiring conversation with Williams at Motivated Mom 2019 Retreat.

40 MEET TIFFANY JO BAKER Tiffany Jo Baker of Dallas, is making dreams of parenthood come true through the gift of surrogacy.

72 INFERTILITY SUPPORT GROUPS

26 MEET KENYA

Learn about two organizations, Twelve 12 Ministries & The Predestined One that are helping women cope with infertility.

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JOURNEY TO MOTHERHOOD Editor-in-Chief Vonna Matthews

Contributing Designer Photo Editor Cover Photography Contributing Photographer Contributing Photographer Contributing Writer Contributing Writer Contributing Writer Contributing Writer

Taly Melo Krystal Jackson Erick Robinson Tyeshia Barnes Photography Gateway Photos Holly Caplan Noni Robinson Lateisha Johnson Marcus Matthews

Editorial Office

Little Elm, Texas 75068 +1-972-302-9150 | info@ceomommagazine.com CEOMOM Magazine is published by For Her Media Little Elm, Texas 75068 | +1-972-302-9150 www.ceomommagazine.com

LETTER FROM THE EDITOR JOURNEY TO MOTHERHOOD

It started out as a routine prenatal visit. I was nine weeks pregnant and was awaiting to hear my baby's heartbeat for the first time. As my husband chatted with the nurse practitioner, I prepared for the exam that would mark the beginning of a life changing event, the birth of my first child. The nurse practitioner started the exam, and after a few moments of deafening silence, it became apparent something wasn't right. She couldn't find my baby's heartbeat. Usually at nine weeks a topical exam is enough to hear a heartbeat.

Before she concluded that something was wrong, she said the doctor would come in for a transvaginal sonogram. Upon her arrival, the doctor questioned my certainty regarding my number of weeks pregnant. I assured her I was no less than nine weeks based on my last visit.

After several attempts, it was shown that I had two sacs, one with a baby that showed four weeks growth and one that was empty. I was either having twins, a miscarriage or a combination of both. Several tests later, a decrease in hCG levels, and many days of confusion and discomfort, my fears were realized. I was having a miscarriage. It was one of the most painful times in my life. I prayed for this baby. I hoped for this baby. I believed for this baby. At 33 years old, I questioned my ability to have children. Was this a sign of a severe condition or was this a one time thing? Did I wait too long to become a mother?

I had a myriad of feelings and even more questions. Although, I loathe this question, I found myself asking, why me? Why can't I be a mother? Fast forward a year, and we welcomed a beautiful baby girl. Almost three years later, we welcomed another baby girl.

Although I became a mother, I never forgot the pain, embarrassment and loneliness I felt from having a miscarriage, I wanted to help other women create a community to share similar stories and experiences. With that desire, came the ministry, Sisterhood of Support, a miscarriage, infertility and infant death support group.

This issue is about telling the stories of women who know the stigma and pain that come when your dream of motherhood is deferred. From actress and producer, Kenya Moore, to author and pastor, Cora Jakes-Coleman, we are telling stories of adoption, pregnancy loss, IVF, surrogacy and more. Our hope is that continuing to tell these stories will help women know that though their journey to motherhood has not gone as planned, they are not defined by their ability or inability to have children.

The journey to motherhood is not just about becoming a mother, but what happens after. There are a 1,000 little moments of letting go. From letting go of who you once were to now experiencing a new form of yourself, to what happens when the dreams you had for your child change, to how you reshape motherhood as an emptynester, to a parent's greatest fear - losing a child. Let's have the conversations.

Editor-in-Chief VONNA MATTHEWS

Vonna Matthews CEOMOM | 5

Journey to Motherhood – Self Discovery Beyond Motherhood: Getting Back to YOU By: Holly Caplan I always put my career first. Always.

After I graduated from college and into my mid 20’s and 30’s I was laser focused on becoming a sales executive in Corporate America. It was all I could think about. I was doggedly determined to be the best in my field, win awards, get promotions and slay whatever was in front of me. My career was my identity. In my mind, it gave me value, self worth and made me seem accomplished to others. It was so much a part of me that it dictated my mood, how I gauged success and overall happiness with myself. I can remember wasting my weekends feeling stressed and frustrated over getting deals signed, as if my life absolutely depended on it.

That is how much my career was woven into every fiber of my being. Children were not on my brain at all. I mean, after all, I would never age past 35, right? Certainly I’d be suspended in time at that age so I could continue to pursue my corporate goals endlessly – because that’s realistic.

Then one day, at the age of 38, out of nowhere, it hit me like a punch in the gut. Holy crap, I didn’t have any children. Even though I knew I wanted them, motherhood had not been on my radar at all. Then, on that one day, it was right in front of me. It was like someone shoved a mirror in my face and said, “Get to it, or don’t do it at all.” This shook me to the core. I was shaken with the fear of having to change my identity and focus. I mean, how could I even consider putting my energy into being a mom and still be as dedicated to my career?

Somehow, in my mind, I was afraid I’d disappoint other people, but mostly myself by shifting my focus. I got over that feeling on my own. How ridiculous. I needed to check myself and get my head straight regarding my life priorities, and I realized that having a baby was a priority for me.

Photo Credit: Kelly Williams Photography

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When I got pregnant a year later it felt surreal. Like a long awaited quiet dream was being fulfilled yet it was actually happening to me, at the age of 40. In retrospect, although people seemed happy for me, I think they were concerned with my age and how I would manage it all. I mean, I was the one who delayed getting pregnant. All of my friends already had 10- year -old kids. I had to face the fact that one day I would be the 50- year- old mother in the car line at school picking up her 5th grader.

This was my journey. It was my journey into motherhood. I knew who I was before motherhood, but who would I be after?

Photo Credit: Jessica Rockowitz

After she was born, I took 9 weeks of maternity leave. At the time they felt like the slowest weeks of my life, but they were actually the fastest. Those weeks are a blur of nursing, changing diapers, making bottles, freezing milk, and of course, sheer exhaustion. I forgot about my career. And it didn’t take long.

The day I did come back to work, I sat at my desk, cracked open my laptop for the first time and totally blanked on my password. What the hell was my password? What was funny is that I really didn’t care what my password was.

The old me would have been freaking out. Instantaneously, my way of stressing over trivial matters changed.

This was my first indicator of my journey getting back to me. It was a new me, an unexpected new me.

Finding life after motherhood was certainly uncharted territory. My memory was shot, my body wasn’t the same, and of course I was flat tired. I had no idea how I would get back to me again, because who had I become? This

honestly kind of scared me at the time. I was used to being in control of my wardrobe, having my hair done and flexibility in my schedule. Motherhood did not allow these common features of my past. This was uncomfortable. I had to learn to embrace what was uncomfortable so that I could transition into the new me.

Spanx became a theme in my daily dressing.

So did dry shampoo and delayed manicures.

I wasn’t the center of my world. She was. I had to find the new me. I realized the key to this was accepting change. My new sense of purpose and fulfillment from having her changed my mindset at work and at home. I found understanding where I had not before, I found patience where I had not before and I found love in the same manner.

I translated these new enhancements of self into my journey after motherhood. I found my footing. I believe that identifying these additions to my emotional repertoire helped me be a better sales executive and person. Becoming a mother made me feel like I could handle anything. Nothing scared me anymore. As a sales leader, I became more compassionate and involved in seeing growth and development in those on my team. I went

on to win awards and accolades as a mother. But I did it with a different perspective. I felt grateful, graceful and confident. The journey back to me was the best journey I could have taken because my daughter made me who I am today.

As for the Spanx and dry shampoo. I haven’t lost those daily rituals. Those are two things that will stay the same.

Holly Caplan

This was my journey. It was my journey into motherhood. I knew who I was before motherhood, but who would I be a ter?

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Motivated Mom Retreat - Sept. 20-22, 2019 Hosted by LaToyia Dennis with Special Guests, Malinda Williams & Dondré Whitfield & the Motivated Mom of the Year Award Recipient, Rose Rock With Dallas being a mecca for events that empower, equip and celebrate women, there are many who stand out from the crowd. One of our favorite events to attend and be a part of is Motivated Mom Retreat hosted by author, speaker and founder of A Chance to Learn, LaToyia Dennis. Dennis founded Motivated Mom Retreat to give moms the opportunity to relax in the context of education, beauty and fun. From interactive panel discussions to one-on-one conversations with prestigious guests to yoga to dancing to shopping, Motivated Mom Retreat meets your needs whether you are a mompreneur or a stay-at-home mom.

For the second year in a row, CEOMOM Magazine served as one of the media sponsors for this extraordinary event.

Rose Rock, mom of actor and comedian, Chris Rock, received the Motivated Mom of the Year Award at the national retreat, which was held at the Omni Mandalay in Irving, Texas. Rock is a child advocate, educator, author and mother of ten with over 17 years experience working as a preschool and special education teacher. She combined all of her experience as an educator and parent into her book, Mama Rock's Rules: Ten Lessons for Raising a Houseful of Successful Children.

CEOMOM: What does an honor like the Motivated Mom of the Year Award mean to you?

Rock: I never take any award from my peers for granted. Anytime someone honors you or says you are worthy of being honored, that is a great thing.

CEOMOM: What advice do you have for parents to cultivate greatness in their young children?

Rock: We are living in a time when all adults who see a spark in a child is called to honor that spark. We need to nurture our children. Blood doesn't make a mother or a family.

When asked how she retreats, Rock admits she rarely retreats, but when she does, she gets away with two of her closest friends. "I will go to Palm Springs and we will just not do anything. We will just talk about people and drink wine."

Motivated Mom Retreat addressed topics and issues that impact women from financial literacy to self care to health and nutrition to beauty and fashion. The goal is to encourage moms to approach self care from a holistic perspective. LaToyia Dennis, "I think that moms need to retreat, because when we don't take time to retreat and fall back, we neglect ourselves. When we don't consciously decide that we are going to take a weekend, a day, or an hour to focus on ourselves, we get lost.

It's hard, but it's critical."

I want women to leave feeling empowered to take ownership of their self-care and the need to feed their desire to be healthy and happy. ~ LaToyia Dennis, Founder of Motivated Mom Retreat

Photography by: Ariawna Talton of Miss Ari Photography.

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Photography by: Ariawna Talton of Miss Ari Photography.

CEOMOM talked to the founder of the Motivated Mom Retreat, LaToyia Dennis, about what she hopes moms get from the retreat and how the retreat has grown.

CEOMOM: Since this is your second year doing the retreat, what makes this one different from the other one? How has it grown?

Dennis: Yes, it’s the second year. I’ve heard that this year felt more like a Retreat. Last year we had a lot more content and sessions….which felt a little like a conference. I am happy that we were able to ensure that it was and felt like a retreat.

CEOMOM: What is the one thing you hope moms take away from the retreat?

Dennis: My hope is for moms to walk away feeling motivated, inspired, and relaxed. I want women to leave feeling empowered to take ownership of their self-care and the need to feed their desire to be healthy and happy.

Some of the panelists, speakers and special guests included, Christine St.Vil of Moms ‘N Charge®, Dorinda Walker of Mohagany Momology Podcast and Cultural Solutions Group, Vonna Matthews of CEOMOM Magazine, Sarah Herring of Handbags U Like, Maya Williams of Arm Candy, actor and comedian, Flex Alexander, Alshante Squire, Ariel Rainey, Founder of Hustle Mommies, Kayla Tucker Adams of Kayla Adams PR, Elle Cole, Founder of CleverlyChanging Podcast, and T. Espinoza, The Style Medic.

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The conversations at Motivated Mom Retreat were raw and transparent. Alshante Squire, Development Strategist and Producer, shared her personal story of life after trauma and divorce and being separated from her daughter after a failed relationship with her partner. Squire, "I'm here as an example of possibility and hope. Trauma does not just go away. We live with trauma the rest of our lives. There are people who will come after me who shouldn't have to experience what I've experienced."

When asked what she hoped to take away from the retreat as an attendee, Squire shared, "I've gotten so much. Just filling myself up, looking at other mothers. To be honest, there's a little bit of validation for me. People don't consider me a mom just physically looking at me or ask about my motherhood experience. That doesn't negate the fact that I am a mother.

Being here has definitely fit that portion of me, just hearing some of the stories in the room. Although I have not birthed a child yet, I get to still be a part of that community."

Learn more about Motivated Mom at https://www.motivatedmom.org/.

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Malinda Williams A CANDID CONVERSATION WITH MOM, ACTRESS & ENTREPRENEUR, MALINDA WILLIAMS AND VONNA MATTHEWS AT MOTIVATED MOM 2019 RETREAT

One of the special guest speakers at Motivated Mom 2019 Retreat was Malinda Williams. Williams is an actress, best known for her role as Tracy "Bird" Van Adams in the Showtime hit show, Soul Food, producer, entrepreneur, and mom. Her son is now twenty, which she says has forced her to learn how to adopt a less hands on approach to mothering. "When people think of motherhood in this kind of realm they think of small children. I am still very much mothering, just in a different way.

Even taking your hands off is a style. " Williams sat down for a candid conversation with CEOMOM Magazine, Editor-in-Chief, Vonna Matthews, to discuss mothering an adult son, what it means to practice self care, her latest movie role as a victim of domestic violence and her journey as a serial entrepreneur.

Vonna Matthews: What inspired you to be a part of The Motivated Mom Retreat?

Malinda Williams: First and foremost, the title, Motivated Mom. Obviously, I’m a mother and so I one hundred percent advocate for mothers. I understand and I have an affinity for motherhood. A friend of mine called me and asked me if I

would get involved. I did some research, looked up what it was about and who LaToyia was and what her cause was. It didn’t take me long before I said absolutely. Whatever it is she is doing, any way I can support, I’m happy to.

Matthews: Why is it important for moms to retreat?

Williams: My son is 20 now. Ever since he was a baby I took motherhood very seriously. When he came, I thought, “Wow, how did you deem me capable of caring for this soul, this human being?”

I didn’t necessarily look at it as getting pregnant and giving birth made me a mom. I looked at it as, the creator saw me fit to bring another human being on the planet and raise that human being into a capable person, hopefully a powerful, big soul. For that, I knew that when he came, I had to get right.

My son was a very early learner. He was a very smart young man.

He learned his ABC’s early. He learned to walk at 10 months. He was really advanced. When my son was about two years old, I remember him asking me, “Momma, are you happy?” I was like first of all, “Who are you? Why do you know me so well? And why are you asking?” I had made a promise to myself that I would never lie to my child. I can't keep up with the lies. My memory is not that CEOMOM | 13

need you now.” And if he ever had those moments I knew to take care of me first. The cliche, “Put your mask on first.” That’s the truth.

You really do have to breathe life into yourself first. If you don't, you can’t give it to anyone else, especially a child who needs to learn from you.

Matthews: What are your three must haves to maintain self care?

Williams: Love, love and love. The first love is self love. If you don’t have self love everything else falls apart and continues to fall apart.

There was a moment in my life, I realized I was not loving myself enough. I was putting others before me. I was putting partners before me. I was putting a child before me. I was putting others’ wants and needs before me and that’s not okay. It was to the detriment of my own success. It was to the detriment of my own sanity.

Then there’s love of my community, love from my community and love from my family. I say it in this order (self love first), because you can’t have love outside of yourself until you find the love within yourself. I thrive off of love. I cultivate these love relationships, because I need them. They inspire me.

This one sounds a little esoteric; I think it’s not. I have a genuine love that I want to emit from myself. I want people to see me and feel love, because it is what I am always seeking, cultivating and ultimately living for. That’s how I keep it together. If I find myself in a situation that doesn’t feel loving, I walk away. The industry that I work in can be very competitive. People can try to put fear in your heart and that’s the opposite of love. People can try to make you

Photo Credit: D’Andre Michael Photography

great. At the time, I wasn’t happy and perhaps he sensed it at two years old, with his sage self. From that moment, I said “Malinda, you said you are not going to lie to your son.” I didn’t have an answer for him that day. I fell silent. But it was a profound moment for me, because I said, “You better get your life together and you better seek happiness, because he is going to continue to ask. Not only is he going to continue to ask you the question, “Are you happy?”, but if you answer truthfully that you are not happy, he will want to know the source. His mission will be to chase the source of your unhappiness and you don’t want that being his life. So get it together, find happiness and make sure when he asks you if you’re happy, you will say, “Yes, I am."

From that moment, I knew to take time to walk away if I was feeling frustrated. If anything was overwhelming me then I could say out loud, “Omi, Mommy needs a minute. Omi, Mommy needs a nap. Omi, Mommy needs a drink.” Whatever Mommy needs, I will always be truthful with him and tell him, “This is what Mommy needs.” Sometimes it would be only a five minute step away. Sometimes it would be a half hour nap.

He would grant it to me. He’s not a child that is like, “No, I CEOMOM | 14

Photo Credit: D’Andre Michael Photography

THE FIRST LOVE IS SELF LOVE. IF YOU DON’T HAVE SELF LOVE EVERYTHING ELSE FALLS APART AND CONTINUES TO FALL APART. THERE WAS A MOMENT IN MY LIFE, I REALIZED I WAS NOT LOVING MYSELF ENOUGH.

feel like you’re not enough or that you’re in competition with your sister. There’s only one role among the three hundred of you who are vying for it. That is an environment that fosters the opposite of love. I cannot express this enough, if you allow love to guide, if you allow love to be the control, love will not abide with anything else. It won’t abide with fear. It won’t abide with abuse. It won’t abide with anything but itself.

Matthews: Your career extends beyond the entertainment industry. Tell us about your latest business ventures, ThisIsLeaving.com and ShopShesGotaHabit.com, as well as @OneNestYoga Studio. What inspired you to create these travel, lifestyle and wellness platforms?

Williams: I am a woman of a certain age. When you reach a certain age or era, you start to see friends and family members fall ill and develop chronic diseases. It becomes somewhat disconcerting. You are looking around and asking, “Is this supposed to happen or is there something that is causing it?” I am a natural detective so I look up everything. I don’t just look at the first page, I dig ten to twelve pages deep to find out what’s causing certain things. My sister, Lisa, started studying yoga. She’s a yogi now, and she came to us, my other sister and me, and said, “I want to open a yoga studio.” We said, “Great.

What do you need from us?” We all started practicing yoga, because we are about the sisterhood. What my sister has I want and what I have I want my sister to have. We found that there were great health benefits to yoga: mind, body and soul.

I started traveling when I met my now husband, Tariq. When we were dating, we traveled a lot. We found that there were so many health benefits to traveling. We all know the health benefits of just getting out of the house. We need to get out of the house and get some sun. There’s some real physiological benefits to that. Beyond that there’s getting outside of the city, then getting outside of the state and leaving the country.

When you do those things not only are you physically taking yourself outside of your comfort zone, you are expanding your mind in ways you had no idea it could be expanded. In our travels, we learned new things about food and their health benefits. There are places around the world called Blue Zones which are places on Earth where people live the longest. In our travels we came across a gentleman who explained the Blue Zones to us. He talked about the foods he’d studied from the Blue Zones and how they were a factor in people living long lives. We thought, “It’s great that we can show images of us visiting these wonderful places and traveling to these exotic

destinations, but there really are benefits for people to live longer. That’s the part we wanted to share. We also found relationship benefits. The traveling grew us closer together, because we had to communicate and interact with one another, and depend on each other. This was a metaphor for two people being together in a relationship, learning how to communicate and connect with each other. That’s something we also wanted to share. It started out as a travel blog, but we found that there were a lot of wellness benefits that we wanted to include.

Matthews: You were recently in TV One’s original film “Loved to Death” which shone a light on domestic violence. You did an amazing job revealing the complexity and layers of an abusive relationship. What do you look for when choosing your roles?

Williams: The first thing I look for when choosing a role is the character I’m being asked to play has to resonate with me. The script as a whole also has to resonate with me. When I read Loved to Death, I understood domestic abuse. I understood intimate partner violence from a firsthand perspective. I also knew many women that abuse had affected. Whether they were abused, their sister was abused, their best friend or their mother, they saw someone in their life who had been abused physically, financially or emotionally. There are so many forms of abuse.

There were things that I had gone through in life that I had witnessed or experienced, I always questioned. “Why is this happening to me? What did I do or where did I go wrong?” There was a moment I read this script and thought, perhaps this was a part of the silver lining, and I was being qualified to tell this story so that other women could understand the nuances of an abusive relationship. There are often signs that we don’t recognize. I remember having someone say to me, “So he didn’t punch you in the face?” And I said, “No, it didn’t get to that point, and it shouldn’t.” A lot of us think that if there’s no black eye or there aren’t any bruises, it wasn’t really abuse, but psychological abuse is some of the worst abuse a woman can experience. The damage is far reaching. It reaches into her children. It reaches into her sisters. It destroys her self esteem. I took that role, because I wanted to make a difference in a woman’s life who may be experiencing something, and she’s questioning whether or not it’s abusive. I choose roles that I feel are going to make an impact.

To learn more about Malinda Williams and her entrepreneurial endeavors, visit https://shopshesgotahabit.com.

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2020 EDITION

YOUR GLOBAL SOURCE FOR WOMEN OWNED BUSINESSES

MOMS YOU SHOULD KNOW BUSINESS DIRECTORY ceomommagazine.com

CEOMOM Magazine prides itself on being a publication that not only provides resources and information for working moms, but has the honor of interviewing, featuring and spotlighting moms across the globe who are redefining work/life balance. These women have drive, tenacity and fortitude, positioning them to pursue dreams and passions that extend beyond motherhood. They will tell you that being a mom is their most important role, but it is only one role that defines them. At CEOMOM Magazine we thrive by the mantra, "Becoming a mom doesn't end your dreams. It gives them new meaning."

The first annual CEOMOM "Moms You Should Know" Business Directory is more than a list of amazing women business owners. It's filled with women who do "have it all," but not according to cultural standards or norms. These women have determined what "having it all" means to them and are breaking barriers and blazing trails in philanthropy, business, entertainment, technology and more.

We are excited for you to meet these dynamic women who inspire us through not only their accomplishments, but their unapologetic pursuit of greatness.

"Becoming a mom doesn't end your dreams. It gives them new meaning."

Are you a mom we should know? Visit us at http://ceomommagazine.com/moms-youshould-know to submit your application.

2020

Picture Me Photography

TICKI FAVAROTH People Engineer | Future Forward in Human Resources

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Photo Credit: Octavia Whitlowe, For Beauty Sake

HR&Co.

Describe your business.

HR&Co. is a human resources provider and advisory services firm to growing organizations and government agencies. Our clients are continually seeking ways to maximize their businesses, operations, and people resources. At HR&Co., we know what it takes to lead organizations, people, and processes. Backed by our dedicated team of people experts, broad perspectives, and industry knowledge, we help our clients deliver results.

Our human resources services enable organizations to achieve optimal results by providing the tools, solutions, experience, and expertise that allow companies to flourish. Our success comes through being partners, advisors, problem-solvers, solution builders, and partnering with you by providing end-to-end tailored human resources consulting services.

What inspired you to start your business?

There was a defining moment in my career. I started providing executive coaching to diverse talent, providing insights on developing their executive presence, how to navigate the corporate landscape successfully, and to land the right opportunities. It became clear that these leaders had little or no internal support from their organization or had an internal sponsor that could help. When I launched, I made an intentional shift to change my long - term relationship with Corporate America to serve her in a different capacity. It was a tough decision, but I knew it was time, a soft exit to a long term commitment.

After taking the time to reflect on my journey – lessons learned and opportunities, failures, and puzzling moments, accomplishments, and all the relationships I’ve established over time, I had an epiphany. I realized I could better serve Corporate America in a different capacity; I could serve as her strategic partner, people advisor, and people engineer.

I started HR&Co. to help organizations and government agencies more effectively move forward the right people strategies by bringing years of experience and a diverse voice for talent to the conversation. I aim to be the preeminent HR strategist, executive coach, and forward thinker dedicated to helping organizations and government agencies flourish through its people and human resources practices. I continue to believe in the successes of organizations, cultures, and people. Today, it gives me great joy to provide HR advisory and strategies to many well - known organizations and their leaders..

How is your business changing your industry, the world?

Our team actively seeks new ways to consistently challenge the status quo and disrupt the old ways of doing HR. We are focused on executing new innovative concepts, ideas, and strategies to move organizations forward in the future. We are helping people at the individual level; we are helping companies at the organizational level.

After more than 20 years of corporate human resources expertise, we are always creating solutions that put people first. We’ve created a one stop shop for customized advisory service and have established excellent partnerships with technology providers that simplify HR. We are enabling a better work experience and thought leadership.

Mom You Should Know: Ticki Favaroth Company: HR&Co. Email: ticki.favaroth@hrandco.com, Phone: 832.445.9369 Instagram: hrandco.levelup | thepeoplelux Website(s): www.hrandco.com | www.peoplelux.com State of Business: Texas Years in Business: 5

.We are disrupting human resources with new innovative concepts, ideas, and strategies to move organizations forward in the future.

What does being a CEOMOM mean to you?

Being in CEOMOM, will be extraordinary! To be in a lineup with other leading CEO moms will create a new type of community and lane for HR&Co. and me.

An elite list of mom-owned companies that are leaving an imprint in the world of business.

I welcome the opportunity to share my story, to help others find their story, and to use this engaging platform to connect with other leaders and individuals, to communicate how they can excel in their careers or business. I want your readers to know that they can partner with a preeminent HR strategist, executive coach, and forward thinker dedicated to helping organizations flourish through its people and human resources practices.

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Shoes Designed by a Doctor for Healthy All Day Wear

DR. LIZA EGBOGAH CEOMOM DIRECTORY | 22

Photo Credit: Phil Crozier

dr. Liza shoes Describe your business. dr. Liza shoes is an innovative line of heels and flats designed by a doctor for healthy all day wear.

The first line of designer women’s shoes to be clinically tested for optimum comfort, dr. Liza shoes feel as great as they look. The doctor designer boasts over a decade of experience as a body and posture expert treating a long list of celebrities, political leaders and CEOS, improving not only the way they feel and function, but also the way they look. dr. Liza shoes was launched in March 2017 as a solution for women who wanted to wear beautiful heels all day without suffering from pain or disfigurement.

What inspired you to start your business?

After over a decade of treating women for high heel related pain and having suffered from my own foot problems, I was inspired to start dr. Liza shoes. Patients would ask me to recommend shoes that they could wear that wouldn't cause pain and disfigurement but also heels that didn't look orthopedic. At that time I could not make any good recommendations and decided to design my own line of shoes that women could wear to look great and feel great.

How is your business changing your industry, the world?

Women have been conditioned into believing that they should wear uncomfortable heels in order to achieve a certain look or respect in the workforce. Most of the designs commonly worn by women like pencil thin stilettos and sharp pointed toes were designed by men and sadly cause excruciating pain and permanent disfigurement for many women. They also slow you down as you aren't able to do what you need to do effectively while wearing them. dr. Liza shoes is changing the industry and improving women's lives around the world by showing women that fashion doesn't have to hurt. We can look great and also feel great without causing permanent harm to our bodies.

What does being a CEOMOM mean to you?

Being a CEOMOM means creating balance between being a mom, a CEO and leading a happy fulfilled life. The great thing about owning a business as a mom is that you can focus on things that you are passionate about while setting a schedule that is best for your personal and family life to thrive.

After over a decade of treating women for high heel related pain and having suffered from my own foot problems, I was inspired to start dr.

Liza shoes.

Mom You Should Know: Dr. Liza Egbogah Company: dr. Liza shoes Email: hi@dr-Liza.com, Phone: 416-366-1703 Instagram: @drLiza @drLizashoes @thefixtoronto Website: drLizashoes.com, dr-Liza.com, thefixtto.com State of Business: Toronto, ON, Canada Years in Business: 2.5 years the[fix] - 12 years

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CEOMOM DIRECTORY | 23

Picture Me Photography

Revolutionizing How Women Wear Hosiery

CHRISTI HAIRSTON CEOMOM DIRECTORY | 24

Photos provided by CARRA Hosiery

CARRA Hosiery Describe your business.

CARRA ("CARRA") Hosiery is a luxury hosiery brand that's changing the perception of hosiery.

Founded by Christi Hairston, a marketing guru and avid fashion lover, the entrepreneur turned her obsession with hosiery into a company of her own. Named after her late sister Carra LaVonne, Carra was a fashionista before her time and our products serve not only as a legacy to her impeccable style, but an accessory that all women can use to express themselves and take their wardrobe to the next level, no matter their budget. CARRA’s patented hosiery design of high quality is sustainable and fashion forward, Made in the U.S.A. with run-resistant fabric.

Additionally, our keen awareness of living a hygienic lifestyle makes CARRA unique with its antimicrobial finish that banishes bacteria and a moisture wicking gusset. CARRA is headquartered in the Washington, DC area and sold exclusively online at carrahosiery.com and ships domestically and to select countries worldwide.

What inspired you to start your business?

I was stuck in my career and ready for the next challenge. I was reading a magazine and came across an article about two college roommates that started a sock collection from their dorms. I thought to myself, surely if they were able to form a company from their dorm I can start one from my house!! I began to think about my likes and dislikes, what was I passionate about that can be turned into a profitable business and what was missing from the marketplace. Hosiery was the answer for me! I worked diligently for 2 years to learn about legwear development and fabric testing. I managed to find a course with extensive training that covered sketch to packaged product, where creativity sparked the catalyst for my first collection and ultimately the birth of CARRA Hosiery.

How is your business changing your industry, the world?

Through my Free the Panty campaign, CARRA aims to reshape the way the modern day woman wears hosiery while eliminating the longstanding stigma of women going commando. My brand is bringing a beloved accessory into the marketplace targeting hosiery lovers age 16-60 with fashion forward designs that are both sustainable and affordable. CARRA's products are worn by both women and men alike with men being a niche market. CARRA is breaking gender barriers and social norms in fashion by showcasing men in hosiery in a way often frowned upon.

What does being a CEOMOM mean to you?

Being a CEOMOM means showing pride, leadership and tenacity for an experience you never have to call work. A CEOMOM is a natural leader who is managing all things related to motherhood, career/entrepreneurship, relationships, and finances. It also means being true to yourself and setting an example of strength and dedication to your children.

My brand is bringing a beloved accessory into the marketplace targeting hosiery lovers age 16-60 with fashion forward designs that are both sustainable and affordable.

Mom You Should Know: Christi Hairston Company: CARRA Hosiery Email: christi@carrahosiery.com, Phone: 301-442-5781 Instagram/Twitter: @carrahosiery Website: carrahosiery.com State of Business: Maryland, Washington, DC Region Years in Business: 4

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CEOMOM DIRECTORY | 25

K CEOMOM | 26

Photo Credit: Erick Robinson

Kenya Moore ON HER IVF JOURNEY, BEING A NEW MOM & HELPING OTHER WOMEN BECOME MOMS We have watched her excel as a movie producer, an actress, a beauty queen, a reality star and an advocate for various causes such as domestic violence and infertility. One of her greatest dreams was to become a mother, but it came with challenges. Struggling with fibroids, Kenya Moore is known for not letting anything stop her from pursuing her passions, including becoming a mother. After several surgeries, a successful round of IVF and a life threatening pregnancy, Moore is finally living her dream of motherhood. She is using her platform as a household name to help others make the dream of parenthood a reality.

CEOMOM Magazine caught up with Moore to discuss her IVF journey, her work with Baby Quest Foundation and why it is important for her to share her story.

You’ve shared that the physical part of your IVF journey was not as difficult or painful as many. Walk us through the emotional part of your IVF journey.

I have suffered from enormous fibroid tumors for years. I became aware of my fibroids at 25 years old, but didn't know how large they were. I had been experiencing painful periods and a lot of bleeding. After learning how large and severe my fibroids were, I became scared. I knew I wanted kids, but I wasn’t ready at the time. I was not close to my mom growing up and none of the women in my family talked about the fact that they had fibroids. I sought out a specialist and he performed the surgery to preserve my uterus. The fibroids were the size of a lemon. I had been carrying around a full term pregnancy without being pregnant. I had to have three myomectomies.

When I was 35, I started to see about freezing my eggs. When I finally did become implanted with an embryo and the doctor did the first ultrasound, it was a miracle. The embryo was surviving in the middle of a bunch of fibroids. After receiving a positive pregnancy test, I did everything humanly possible and everything the doctor said to have a successful pregnancy. My baby is a miracle.

You have been very open about your IVF experience. Why is it important for you to use your public platform to share your story?

I think a lot of women are made to feel like they are inadequate if they cannot have children naturally. I do not want anyone to feel that way. It is scary when you find someone and decide to have a child with him and it doesn’t turn out the way you thought. It is embarrassing and you feel ashamed. It is an emotional roller coaster. You have to take medication and you have all these tests and scans. It is a very emotionally draining process, but I am always extremely hopeful, and I try to remain positive. That is how I get through being scared and why I work to help others do the same.

When faced with infertility, families have to decide the best way to grow their families whether it be adoption, surrogacy or IVF. What was the defining moment when you knew that IVF was best for your family?

A lot of it is not your decision. Some people go to a doctor first who is more qualified to educate a couple on their options.

Some people lean towards what the professionals say. I don’t think you should listen to one professional’s opinion. Get several opinions for your case, especially if it’s dire.

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I look at her and think, “I prayed for you and I believed for you, and here you are.�

Photo Credit: Erick Robinson

What advice do you have for women who are in the beginning of their IVF journey, specifically those who are advanced maternal age?

I hear so many stories now that I have opened my life to people who are on the same journey. You have to stay positive. I have friends whose embryo wouldn’t attach. I have friends who can’t make enough eggs. Stay positive and prayerful and open to possibilities.

With my pregnancy, I almost died. I had complication after complication. I was depressed, because I didn’t know if she would come. At one point, they thought it was an ectopic pregnancy, because of the severe pain I was having. Another time, my placenta was depleting. Towards the end of my pregnancy, I had preeclampsia and she came prematurely. I remember thinking, “Why can’t I be happy and be excited?

Why can’t I glow like other women I see?” It was just a part of my journey. Stay positive and keep your eyes on the prize. Pray and believe in God. It affects your health and your pregnancy.

What has surprised you most about motherhood?

I don’t believe my life. I look around and she’s crawling on the floor and I remember buying this house. I look at her and think, “I prayed for you and I believed for you, and here you are.” I cannot believe my life is real and that I am a mother. I still stutter when I say, “my daughter.” I am blessed by how pure her love is and the way she looks at me. She has these piercing eyes that just amaze me. She has this soul and this spirit that is so unique and so special. My capacity for love is immeasurable.

You recently announced that you are an ambassador for Baby Quest Foundation which provides financial assistance through fertility grants to those who cannot afford the high costs of procedures such as IVF. How did you get involved with Baby Quest Foundation? What does your role as an ambassador entail?

It is an issue in America, not having access to healthcare.

I think a lot of women are made to feel like they are inadequate if they cannot have children naturally. I do not want anyone to feel that way.

It shouldn’t be prohibitive to have a child because you need assistance. I happen to be blessed to have the financial resources to go through IVF. It can be upwards of $25,000 every time you have a round. There are so many families out there who want children but don’t qualify to get a loan. I looked for an organization that helps people have a baby. Baby Quest Foundation gives a lot to the community. They provide financial assistance to gay or straight families and single moms. It is very inclusive. I love that the founder doesn’t take a salary. She does her job, because of the love and passion she has to help families have a baby.

My role is to bring awareness and raise money. I am personally sponsoring two families with my own funds to experience parenthood. I just love everything about Baby Quest Foundation.

I want to spread the word so that others can have babies.

Learn more about Kenya Moore and her role with Baby Quest Foundation at https://www.babyquestfoundation.org/.

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Photo Credit: Lexi Meadows Photography

S A R A H

NOT LETTING INFERTILITY DEFINE HER CEOMOM | 20

“You are not defined by your ability or inability to have children.” After learning of a birth defect that impacted her ability to carry children, Sarah Conner became determined to not identify herself through infertility, rather, she saw her identity in Christ. Her journey to motherhood includes the adoption of her beautiful daughter, Ellie, and giving birth to her sweet son, Caleb. If you ask Conner, she will tell you that her love for her children is the same: unconditional, unmatched and immeasurable. This mother of two holds many roles: wife, ministry leader, nonprofit director, daughter, sister and friend.

She has dedicated her life to connecting people to their identity and purpose in spite of their current circumstances and believes that women are more than how they carry their children.

CEOMOM Magazine spoke with Conner about her adoption story, why women should define themselves beyond motherhood and how one act of faith changed her life.

Who is Sarah Conner?

I am an enthusiastic Ennagram 7 who is excited about life. I have been married to my husband, Josh Conner, for eight years.

We have lived an adventure ever since getting married. We see life as a team; we are very team Conner. We met at church eight and a half years ago. It was love at first sight and we have been together ever since. We got engaged within four months of meeting each other and have been living the dream in Dallas.

I have worked in the non-profit sector for twelve years. I love seeing people live out their identity in Christ. Going into broken situations and helping people become whole, whether that’s fighting poverty or through youth education programs or women’s ministry, is my favorite thing to do. I am the Director of Development for an organization called Just Say YES. “YES” is an acronym for Youth Equipped to Succeed. We go into schools and help them change their culture in regards to risk behaviors. We have classroom education, peer-to-peer mentoring and high impact assemblies that deal with high risk behaviors at that campus, whether it be cyberbullying or drug and alcohol abuse.

We are creating connection points for students.

Tell us about your journey to motherhood from the time you decided to expand your family to when infertility became a part of your story.

Josh and I got married in 2011. We knew we wanted to have kids so we started trying right away. We would have been happy to grow our family, but after three years we were still not pregnant. That brought us to 2014. We thought it was all about God’s timing. We weren’t offended by how long it was taking or worried about anything. We were just doing life. I got pregnant January 2014. We were super excited. It’s kinda funny, because I had just taken my Human Resources licensing exam to get the initials behind my name. I thought, 2014 is going to be fantastic. I had just completed a goal of mine and we were pregnant. Then that same month, we had a miscarriage at eight weeks. It was devastating. It was a physically and emotionally painful experience, but I was like okay, we can get pregnant which was exciting.

Someone recommended that I attend a Bible study out of our church called Shiloh.

The curriculum was for women who had experienced miscarriage or who were dealing with infertility. My best friend was going through the same thing so we decided to participate in the Bible study together. That’s when I learned the medical definition of infertility which is when you are trying for an extended period of time and end up with no pregnancy or have unsuccessful pregnancies. I would have never put myself in that camp or given myself that title. That was heartbreaking to think that maybe something was wrong and wasn’t as it should be.

There’s a verse in Proverbs 30:16 that really stuck out to me. “A barren woman is like an unquenchable fire and a desert.”

Basically things to which you don’t want to be compared. That was a turning moment for me. I asked God, “Do you want me to be defined by this title? I don’t think you want me to be defined by barrenness.” I didn't want it to eat up everything in my life. I had witnessed that title of infertility

steal joy from several women, as well as relationships with their husbands and their friends. I did not want infertility to define my life. I said, “God, even though it is true that I have this medical definition, I will not let that title define who I am or my identity with you.”

My husband and I got tested. I found out I was born with a birth defect called a unicornuate uterus which means I have half the size of a typical uterus and one Fallopian tube. The doctor told me I had less than a one percent chance of getting pregnant. I had to grieve, but I still had hope, because my family believes strongly in adoption. It was something I was able to jump to very quickly. My mom was adopted. My dad has adoption in his family so it wasn’t a foreign concept to me. It didn’t seem overwhelming. I basically just had to grieve the ability to physically carry a biological child.

Briefly walk us through your adoption story.

We investigated different agencies. We visited the Gladney Center for Adoption for a domestic adoption. Gladney is an agency based in Fort Worth that does all kinds of adoptions. It was very important to my husband to have a baby. He is the baby whisperer. We went to orientation and signed on the dotted line right there.

My husband is a pastor and I had been working in the inner city non-profit sector for ten years at that point so we were not rolling in the dough. We were able to fundraise the money we needed through the generosity of the people at our church and through some side hustles such as photography and wedding coordination. From start to finish our adoption process was 18 months.

You can’t share our adoption story without telling a personal story about our family. My brother died in 2014 from a boating accident. He was 26. Six months prior to his passing, my husband said that he felt the Lord tell us to take care of my mom and ask her to move in with us. My parents divorced right before Josh and I got married. My mom had been struggling to maintain her own place so

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Photo Credit: Lexi Meadows

Josh asked her to move in with us. The very moment my mom was moving in with us, my brother passed away. We knew that the Lord had orchestrated her moving in with us, being able to heal from losing her son, and us being under one roof. My brother also moved in with us, because he was recovering from vertebrae surgery from the same boating accident. Our birth mom picked us, because my mom lived with us. She wanted her daughter to live in a house that had an active grandmother present, because she was so close to her mom. She thought that it was cool that my mom lived with us. When our books went out, she picked us for that reason. We wouldn’t have had Ellie if we wouldn’t have walked in obedience in 2014.

We have an open adoption. We have a great relationship with the birth mom. She follows us on social media and we send pictures. The birth mother and grandma send birthday presents for Ellie. She currently lives in California. We also have a very close relationship with our daughter’s biological grandmother who lives in Georgia.

Adoption was one of the biggest blessings of our lives.

What are some of the emotions you experienced when you learned your journey to motherhood wouldn’t go as planned? How did you navigate through those emotions?

I did it in the context of community. I really think that is a game changer for anyone walking through it, because of the power of someone saying, “Me, too.” The Bible study was really healing in a lot of ways. It was a small group of about five women who were also working through infertility in all different ways whether it be secondary infertility or having a hard time getting pregnant or multiple miscarriages. Finding a community is super important. The emotions that are associated with infertility involve coming face to face with your lack of control. The facade of control is completely gone. You aren’t even in control of your own body. In my case it was a direct reflection of something that happened when I was born. You quickly learn that you are not in control of anything which is a hard truth to face. It's also very freeing when you realize that there's CEOMOM | 34

nothing you can do. I couldn’t do IUI; I couldn’t do IVF. There was a freedom that came from having the lack of options.

You recently gave birth to your son, Caleb. Congratulations on becoming a mother for the second time. Walk us through your journey of giving birth after adoption.

The funny thing is we did get pregnant the week we adopted Ellie.

We miscarried at 13 weeks. That was our second miscarriage. We hadn’t gotten pregnant since then and didn’t know we were even capable of getting pregnant again until last year when Josh and I had both started new jobs. I started working with Just Say YES after being with my former company for 10 years. I was four weeks into the new job when I learned that I was pregnant.

Because of our history and previous miscarriages we were cautiously optimistic, but something in my spirit knew this child was going to happen. I actually was quite hopeful for the first twelve weeks. Then I was considered high risk so I saw the sonogram technician a lot. They didn’t know how my body was going to react, if my uterus was going to stretch properly or if the baby was going to be premature. Turns out he was late and he was born at 40 weeks and four days. We had no problems with the pregnancy, it was completely healthy. He came out seven pounds and seven ounces, no NICU and no issues.

What words of wisdom do you have for women who are in the beginning of their infertility journey?

Take it one day at a time. Guard your heart from the titles - fertile, barren. Define your identity. You are not your medical prognosis.

You are not defined by your ability or inability to have children.

You are not how you carry your children. That may be a shut door, but God is still working. Don’t be a woman that is defined by her barrenness.

To learn a little more about Sarah Conner and her work, visit https://www.justsayyes.org.

I did not want infertility to define my life. I said, “God, even though it is true that I have this medical definition, I will not let that title define who I am or my identity with you.”

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Photo Credit: Krystal Jackson, Gateway Photos

T I F F A N I E

EMBRACING THE POWER OF CONTENTMENT CEOMOM | 36

Photo Credit: Krystal Jackson, Gateway Photos

There's a popular saying, “If you want to make God laugh, make a plan.” Tiffanie Douglas is a woman who loves to plan, including her journey to motherhood.

From the number of kids she wanted, to the age she wanted them by, to the order she wanted to have them, Douglas had it all figured out. After three miscarriages, a bout with endometriosis and one beautiful baby girl, this wife, working mother and ministry leader has learned the power of contentment and abandoning her own plan for God’s. She has used her challenges with infertility and loss to help other women whose paths to motherhood have not been smooth. She is a voice and an advocate for a community of women who often suffer alone.

CEOMOM Magazine sat down with this new mother to discuss her emotional and spiritual journey to motherhood and how embracing contentment and community changed her life.

Who is Tiffanie Douglas?

I am first a disciple of Christ. I have learned after having my daughter that I am not who I thought I was which has

been enlightening. I am evolving. It is a process of learning who I am. I am a wife. I am a daughter. I am a sister. I am a mom. I know what I like and what I want to do, but I am still defining who I am.

I am much stronger and more resilient than I thought I was. Before having Eden, I didn't view myself as a woman who possessed a certain amount of strength and resilience. Now I feel empowered and courageous. For her sake, these are characteristics that I need to exhibit.

Having her has empowered me to walk in that.

Tell us about your journey to motherhood from the time you decided to expand your family to when infertility and pregnancy loss became a part of your story.

From an early age I knew I wanted to be a mom. I was going to have three children by the age of 30. I was going to have two boys and one girl. I wanted a boy first, then a girl and then another boy. I was very specific about what I wanted. I had it planned out and thought I could control that.

I began to embrace being a woman who didn't have children. It was easier for me to be content when I changed my perspective and my prayer.

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From the time we got married, my husband and I never used birth control, because we figured in God’s timing whatever happens happens. Fast forward nine years, we hadn’t conceived at all. In about year five or six I started thinking, this probably isn’t normal, but I was afraid to explore to see what was wrong.

“What’s happening and why are we not conceiving?” It wasn’t until I got pregnant at 34 and lost that pregnancy that I realized something was definitely wrong. I went to the doctor and was diagnosed with endometriosis.

It was shortly after having the third miscarriage that I found the ministry, Sisterhood of Support, through my church. I began connecting and building community and relationships with other women who had experienced similar losses. That’s when I started my journey and my healing process and letting go of that expectation that I was going to have three kids and that it was going to happen by a certain age. I finally got to a point I felt, if it never happens, I will still feel fulfilled, confident and that there's not a missing piece in my heart.

I didn’t think it was going to be hard to get pregnant. I didn't think it was going to take long. I wasn’t really worried about it although I really wanted to be a mother. I just kept thinking, it will happen. Then when I had my first miscarriage, my first thought was, “God, I’m not mad at you.” I just kept saying that. We found out very early we were pregnant and told everybody. The shame that came with having to tell everyone that I lost the pregnancy was really hard. It was very difficult. The doctors told me that between my endometriosis and advanced maternal age, I would need to consider IVF. My husband and I thought, if it happens, it happens. Then I got pregnant a second time.

Many families choose adoption, IVF or surrogacy. How did you make the decision to continue to try to conceive naturally without intervention?

We talked about adoption however we weren’t on the same page. I was open to the idea of adoption, but my husband was more concerned with the process.

We didn't educate ourselves on the different types of adoptions. He would say that he didn't want the biological parent to come back into the picture, forcing us to deal with the drama of the mom wanting the child back. It didn't seem like adoption was the best option for us.

The second pregnancy and miscarriage were harder. That’s when I started judging people. I would look at single, teenage girls who were getting pregnant easily and having multiple kids and ask, “How is it possible that they’re conceiving? I’m a child of God and I’m married. I have a stable job, a home and a loving relationship. I can raise a child in a stable household. Why is it not happening for me?” I got through that and a year later, I got pregnant a third time. By that time the excitement of seeing a positive pregnancy test was no longer there. I had already had two miscarriages. My third pregnancy also ended in miscarriage. With all three of my pregnancies, we hadn’t gotten past 10 weeks.

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content when I changed my perspective and my prayer. Instead of God, this is what I want, bless it, I prayed, “not my will, but yours.”

You now have a beautiful girl, Eden.

What was this pregnancy like?

It was really hard. I found out August 25, 2018 that I was pregnant with Eden. I burst into tears, because I thought, “Not again, God. I can not do this again.”

When I told my husband he was like, “What does this mean?” Both of us were in disbelief, because at that point, I was 39 years old. First of all, I am too old.

Based on the doctors, this shouldn’t have happened. I still have endometriosis. I was almost 40.

It was really challenging. Having suffered multiple losses you’re robbed of the joy and innocence of what to expect when you’re pregnant. Everything is a constant concern and worry. “I didn't feel sick today. Does that mean I am going to lose the baby?” I was constantly looking for signs. Everyday was a battle. I had an amazing support system that constantly checked on me and prayed for me, reassuring me that it was going to be okay. That was very helpful.

From the beginning, our outlook was whatever God has for us is for us. We didn't pursue intervention, because we thought if it doesn’t happen naturally we will just accept that. Both adoption and IVF are a blessing and tools for people to be parents. For us, we got to the point we were content and were okay with it just being the two of us.

I found a different doctor which was very helpful. She was proactive and wanted to do everything to help me maintain the pregnancy. From previous experiences the doctors kept saying it was very common for women to have miscarriages and that you can’t get your insurance company to do a diagnostic until you’ve had three miscarriages.

How did you get to that place of contentment?

I had to shift my perspective from this is my plan, God, bless it, to “not my will, but yours.” Whatever that is, whatever that looks like, even if it’s not what I thought it was going to be or what I anticipated in my life. I began to embrace being a woman who didn't have children. It was easier for me to be

This pregnancy was very challenging and a test of my faith. “Okay God, here we go. I am trusting you. I believe this time is going to be different.” It was different, but it wasn’t easy.

What is it like being a new mother?

Being a new mother is amazing. I’m sleep deprived, but it is worth it. I enjoy knowing that she depends on us to care

for her and love her. What is important for me is helping her to develop, and giving her tools to make wise choices and decisions. We want her to be what God has created her to be. It’s exciting and it’s fun. It’s hard work, but it’s the best thing that I’ve done so far.

What advice do you have for women who are in the beginning of their infertility journey?

Seek community. Find a support group or someone that you can trust and who makes you feel comfortable. Having someone who has been through something similar has been a game changer for me.

Don’t feel guilty. With one of my losses I felt like it was my fault. I believed that there was something wrong with my body and I felt responsible for that loss. Don’t blame yourself.

Don’t assume the responsibility or that it’s your fault that you can’t conceive or you have suffered loss.

How have you used your story to impact other women who share a similar journey of pregnancy loss? Why is it important to you to help other women?

I have only recently begun sharing my story. Before that, I was ashamed. I carried so much shame. I felt like I was less of a woman, because I couldn’t have children or didn't have children. I was embarrassed and I don’t know why. No one ever made me feel that way. I am not sure why I felt that shame and embarrassment.

I’ve been inspired by hearing other women share their stories like Michelle Obama and Gabrielle Union. Hearing other women be so honest and vocal about their journey to motherhood is empowering. I have been able to walk alongside other women the same way that my support system has done for me. If I can help someone else experience the peace that I got from that support by sharing my story, then absolutely I am willing to do it.

Photo Credit; Krystal Jackson, Gateway Photos

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Tiffany

Photo Credit: Pj Williams

TIFFANY JO BAKER GIVING FAMILIES THE GIFT OF PARENTHOOD THROUGH SURROGACY

One of the greatest gifts a woman can give a family is the gift of parenthood.

When we hear stories of surrogacy, they are often told from the perspective of the women receiving the gift of motherhood, yet we seldom get to hear from women like Tiffany Jo Baker of Dallas, who are making dreams of parenthood come true. Baker and her family of four have helped families beyond the borders of Texas experience the miracle of life. Baker has carried five children, including two sets of twins, for three families.

CEOMOM Magazine caught up with this busy mom of 2, wife, life coach, project manager and three-time surrogate to discuss why she believes surrogacy is a calling, and her role as a “co-dream chaser.”

Who is Tiffany Jo Baker?

Tiffany Jo Baker is a fun loving and quirky mom. I’m adventurous, a risk taker and just an everyday girl. My favorite thing is to be at home doing nothing.

Even though I am about the hustle and bustle of getting things done for everyone, at the core of it, I just love to be home with my family enjoying life.

You are passionate about helping women give birth to their dreams and the calling God has for their lives. Tell us a little bit about your roles as a coach, strategizer and project manager for women.

The way God did this was through my journey as a surrogate. I’ve had the opportunity to carry five children for three families dealing with infertility. I always thought I would be a CEO or the first female president, because I’m super career oriented. Instead, I had this gift of pregnancy.

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I’ve pursued education and career, and been in the nonprofit world, I’ve received my Master’s degree and my coaching certificate and helped families deal with infertility, but then God tweaked my path and took me in a different direction, surrogacy. After being a surrogate twice, I was like, “Okay God, what is this? How are you using me?” I figured it out and connected the dots. God said, “You are a dream carrier. You help women and couples carry out and fulfill their dreams.”

That is how He has combined my love of entrepreneurship, my love of go-getting, and my love for coaching. I am an outsider who can come in and be the right hand person that can see things and hear things.

I am a coach, a confidante and a cheerleader who helps people focus on their season and what matters most. I work with them to come up with a flexible plan, because we all know that life takes curves, twists and detours. It’s important to be able to see what matters most to you.

Determine your season and let’s come up with a flexible plan to help carry out your visions. I love to provide plans, as well as the support and accountability needed along the way. I am a shoulder to “tear and cheer” on, for those moments that don’t work out and when things go well and you have those big and small wins. Whether that is infertility or entrepreneurship, I love to come alongside couples to help them birth their dreams and desires God has put on their hearts.

Part of your role as a “co-dream chaser” is helping women realize the dream of becoming a mother. You are a three time surrogate. What was the defining moment that inspired you to become a surrogate?

My husband and I had one little girl who was about one year old. We were youth pastors at our church and I was working at the church’s preschool part time, two days a week. I had gotten a positive pregnancy test the morning I was headed into preschool. I told my fellow teachers, the preschool director and our circle about our good news. I looked at my friend and fellow ministry leader, and when I said I was pregnant I saw the look of joy and pain flash across her face all at the same time.

That was not the look or response I was expecting, but in that moment, I got it. She had never told me she was dealing with infertility, but her face said it all. In my heart I felt God say, "I have given you a gift." And to myself, I said I would carry

down by a few agencies.

We absolutely feel that this is a family ministry. somebody else’s child. That’s where the idea and thought began.

After we had our second daughter, I started doing research. I went on a decision making journey. My husband and I started researching and praying about it. It wasn’t instantaneous.

We wanted to wait until our family was in the right position. We waited for the timing to be right. About four years later, I began reaching out to agencies with my application to become a surrogate.

Walk us through the process of being a surrogate. What does it mean to be a surrogate?

The non-layman’s term is gestational carrier.

You are implanted with the embryo of another couple through IVF to carry through pregnancy and delivery. There are two routes you can take for the formal process. You can go the independent route where you find and work with a couple or a single person. You find them and you go through the process on your own.

The other way to go is to work through a surrogate agency. That is what I chose to do and recommend. I researched the agencies and actually was turned down from a couple of agencies. One of the questions you are asked on the application is, “Are you willing to do selective reduction?" My personal core values and beliefs will not let me do that. If I were to get pregnant with more than one baby, or the babies were testing irregular or with down syndrome or something similar, and the parents wanted to terminate the pregnancy, it’s called selective reduction. I was not willing to do that I was told that ninety-six percent of couples would select to reduce so I was turned

I found a Christian agency in Dallas. I filled out the super long application. It’s similar to the dating world, but you are adding in the medical information. The application is about twenty pages. You do an essay and you complete short answers. You also give medical history. The agency wants to know your heart. They want to know your lifestyle. They want to know what matters most to you, because you are going to be matched with a couple who values the same things as you. You are going to be making decisions about the journey together. You also need to have the same expectations about communication along the way.

You complete the application and the agency creates a profile for you that is put in the surrogate database. There is a match coordinator or the director of an agency who will put your applications with other intended parent applications and give great recommendations for the couple. The surrogates also get to learn about and read about the parents. We all get to choose each other. There's a matching session either by phone or an in person interview.

You are a wife and mother of two. How has being a surrogate impacted your family?

We absolutely feel that this is a family ministry. When my girls were four and six, I put in my first application. My husband and I had a conversation with them. It’s a big family decision, because if I was ever put on bed rest or any medical challenges, it would impact the entire family. When you go through pregnancy there’s tiredness and hormones. Your family, especially your husband, has to be on board. When talking to our daughters, we put it in their terms at four and six as much as we could. I put it like this, “ You are absolutely the biggest blessings God has given us. We want to help other families be blessed as we are. What do you think about Mommy being pregnant with someone else's baby and helping them be parents, too?” Those were the simplest terms we could communicate with our girls. They were 100% on board.

It's been normal to them. The families that I've had the opportunity to work with have all been super involved in the

Our life journey never looks like we think it will. We can plan as planners and go-getters as much as we want, but the gi t of life is a miracle no matter how it happens. sometimes that’s hard. Through the pregnancies, I’ve also developed Diastasis recti which is ab separation. It’s challenging dealing with the physical aspects of the ab separation and still looking pregnant two years later because of it. The Diastasis recti also creates strain in my body. At the end of the day, it is nothing in comparison to the gift that you’re giving these families.

process. I can’t think of more than one or two medical appointments when one or both of the parents weren’t there with me. I’ve had couples from as much as six hours away. The families who were far away would stay overnight at our house or drive in super early the morning of the appointment. It’s definitely been a family ministry. The couples I’ve worked with have treated our kids like their kids and allowed them to call them surrogate siblings. The second family I carried twins for had an older son. They struggled with secondary infertility. The older son gave the girls presents and said, “Thank you so much” to our girls. It was the cutest thing ever. He prayed every night for our family and for his brother and sister. It’s something that is very normal for our kids. They don’t realize how abnormal it is, and how blessed I am with good pregnancies.

What are some of the challenges related to being a surrogate?

The hormones, and I can probably leave it at that. When you go through IVF, there’s a lot of injections. You have to revolve your schedule and life around IVF and the appointments. Carrying twins twice is considered high risk, so that meant even more appointments.

There’s injections for four to six months which meant either my husband had to be home or I had to find a friend to help me with the injections. At one point, my ten year old was giving me progesterone shots. The scheduling of it all was one of the biggest challenges.

Another challenge was making sure to take care of myself throughout the process and manage all the things that you often don’t think about as a surrogate. After you give birth, the babies go home with their parents. I get to recover and heal from having a c-section, but I still look pregnant, although I don’t have a baby to show for it. As a woman,

What advice would you give to couples who are considering a surrogate to extend their family?

The match is very important. Be prayerful and mindful that you are going on this journey with somebody. Be prayerful about who this person is, who may or may not be a part of your life.

Focus on the match and who’s the right fit for your family, and let God guide you.

Our life journey never looks like we think it will. We can plan as planners and go-getters as much as we want, but the gift of life is a miracle no matter how it happens. The statistics of an egg and a sperm joining is a miracle. Trust the Lord in the process and be open to how He wants to birth your dreams.

What advice do you have for a woman who wants to become a surrogate?

Make sure your spouse or husband is unified in the decision. I talk to many people whose husbands were not on board. It is such a family thing. It impacts your family on so many levels that unity is important. Psalm 133:1-3 says, “Where there is unity, the Lord commands blessings.” Part of what I do as a coach is helping families through the decision making process, the relationships, and the ups and downs. Couples are going to see things differently. A husband may be concerned about the financial and time impacts. A wife may be more focused on the emotional impact and the good it’s going to do. God uses all of us to form a whole picture. Be unified with your family before taking the leap and make sure you have a strong support system who is willing to step in and help as needed.

To learn more about Tiffany Jo Baker and her calling as a surrogate and “co-dream chaser,” visit https://www.tiffanyjobaker.com.

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Cora

Photos Courtesy of Cora Jakes-Coleman

Cora Coleman TALKS FAITH, ADOPTION & BEING A FEROCIOUS WARRIOR Cora Jakes-Coleman believes that infertility is not limited to one’s inability to conceive a child; it’s the inability to produce anything your heart desires. Her approach, expect more from God. This wife, mother of two, ministry leader, pastor and author, does not want her infertility story to be just about having children, but an opportunity to personify hope and faith for those on the same journey.

Cora Jakes-Coleman is the Executive Director of Destiny House Children's Ministry of The Potter's House of Dallas, which has more than 30,000 members. She has also written three books, Faithing It: Bringing Purpose Back to Your Life!, Ferocious Warrior: Dismantle Your Enemy & Rise and her latest book, co-authored with her father, Bishop T.D. Jakes, Victory: Having the Edge for Success in the Battlegrounds of Life.

Though she wears many hats, Coleman’s most effective position is that of a ferocious warrior that is equipping others to face their fears, confidently go into battle and embrace their internal power.

CEOMOM Magazine was honored to speak to this dynamic woman about her journey to motherhood, her call to adoption, and how hope manifests power.

Who is Cora Jakes-Coleman?

I am a prayer warrior. I am compassionate. I am loving. I have a heart for people, specifically hurting people. I am the daughter of Bishop T.D. Jakes and First Lady, Serita Jakes. I am a wife. I am a mother. I adopted both of my beautiful babies. I am consistently and always trying to find ways to tick off the devil. I am a low key comedian; I like to make people laugh. I am a children’s pastor, associate pastor and lover of God. I am a faith based motivator and faith encourager. I am whatever God needs me to be.

Tell us about your journey to motherhood from the time you decided to expand your family to when infertility became a part of your story.

I’ve always wanted to be a mom. I had my first dream of being a mom at 10 years old.

When I woke up, God told me I would be a mom, and I would have a son whose name would be Nehemiah. All my life I’ve been the girl that played with dolls, probably a little too long. I have always had someone’s kid on my hip or on my lap. I have always been very nurturing.

It was a car accident that opened my eyes to polycystic ovarian syndrome which would have infertility attached to it. At 22, I got into a car accident and found out it was going to be a battle for me to conceive. I was in a committed relationship, but I wasn’t married. It hit our relationship. It hit our engagement and everything else it could hit.

We decided we were going to get married.

We decided that we were going to be under the umbrella of God and try different fertility treatments.

We did two failed IVF cycles. What is so beautiful about our story is that after each round of IVF, we got a child. After our first IVF cycle failed, we got our beautiful daughter, Amauri, who is now 11 years old.

She was three when we got her. Shortly after that, we went for another IVF cycle.

After that one failed, we got our son Jason who is mostly known as Tuga.

I found out very early that it doesn’t take birth to make you a mother, but it takes a community to build up a thing, to strengthen a thing and to grow a thing beyond the birthing point. Anyone can birth a vision. Anyone can birth an idea, but not everyone can nurture and nourish that idea to an effective success. My kids are my success story. They are my heartbeats. They make me laugh every single day. They give

me a reason to push forward. I still believe that I will birth my son as God has promised me, but in the meantime, I have loved being a mom to my two beautiful children.

Walk us through your emotional and spiritual journey when you first learned your journey to motherhood would not go as planned.

When it first hit, I was devastated. I don’t think there is any other word I could find to describe how I was feeling.

I was devastated. I was broken. I was hurt. I was embarrassed. I was ashamed.

I was insecure. I lost my confidence in God’s ability. I always found myself believing in God through anything. I don’t know what happened that made me think that God couldn’t do anything for me with infertility. I couldn’t think clearly. My faith was shattered and putting it back together again was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.

It’s hard to trust God when you’re angry, to trust God when you’re disappointed, to trust God when everything you’ve ever hoped to be is being challenged. I went through depression. I went through the shame and embarrassment.

What I was able to do was go through it with others who were going through the same thing.

I wanted to make sure that God did not limit my journey to just be about conceiving a child, so I began to do research on infertility. I believe it is important that when the doctor gives you a diagnosis you do your due diligence and research what they are trying to tell you. From my research, I learned that infertility is the inability to produce, not just a child, but anything: a dream, a business, a company, a house.

There are things in our lives that we want to produce, but are unable to, CEOMOM | 45

whether it be due to a fear of success or a fear of failure or a fear of the unknown. It is often that we concede to infertility, because of our own fears. When we attach ourselves to our fears, it takes away our power.

I wanted to use my life as an opportunity to show people that yes, I may be battling infertility, but you are too, and we can get through this together. We can allow our fears to fuel us. I grew up in a family where my father always taught us that you fuel the fear. We never saw our father be afraid and not go after the very thing he feared. I believe it is important that we do not allow fear in infertility to disable our power. So, I allowed myself to go through the emotions of infertility. I went through the depression and figured out what about infertility makes us depressed. I went through the shame and figured out what about infertility makes us ashamed. I realized it’s the strategy of the enemy to keep us in a barren place. And I dare say that I’ve learned how to build beautiful things in a broken situation, and in a barren situation. I figured out the strategy and I decided to out the enemy in my book, Ferocious Warrior. I revealed the enemy’s strategy and dismantled the enemy’s agenda so that we can rise and become who we want to be, who we desire to be, and who we are called to be.

My husband often says, “Use your obstacles as opportunities to get to the next level.” This journey has been up and down, but I am now experiencing it from a different perspective. I do not claim infertility. I claim that I am waiting on the Lord and I don’t mind waiting, because I don’t want a premature blessing. I want the blessing that God has for me to come in His purposed time and in His will. Only then can it be the most effective for those who are going to be blessed by what God does in me. And for those who have been waiting for me to become pregnant, I cannot wait to be hope. I have been faith for so long. I am glad that I am walking in the direction to become more than just faith, but also hope for those who are waiting for their promises as well.

Thinking like a warrior means that you do not allow fear or the enemy to stop you from the view of your victory.

Rather, allow the things that have hurt you or pushed you down to fuel your power which will ultimately produce your promise.

CEOMOM | 46

You were called to adoption. What was the defining moment that inspired you to say yes to that calling?

When the first IVF failed, my sister was there with me the moment I found out I was not pregnant. She came to my job.

She held me. She cried with me. She convicted me. She challenged me. When my husband and I decided to go through foster care to adopt, I was extremely nervous and afraid that I was going to get attached to children and they would be taken away from me. I was afraid I was going to fall in love with a child that couldn’t stay. I was very nervous about the whole process.

I can remember sending a picture of our daughter, Amauri, to my sister. The next day she called me and told me that she had dreamed of her. She had a dream that she was holding Amauri and everything worked out; we ended up keeping her. It gave me such peace about going through the process. For a while I was thinking, “You know, maybe we won’t do it. We will wait.

This is going to be too emotional and too draining.”

I do not claim infertility. I claim that I am waiting on the Lord and I don’t mind waiting, because I don’t want a premature blessing.

Photos Courtesy of Cora Jakes-Coleman

Had it not been for my sister telling me about her dream, I probably would have never gone into fostering to adopt. There was such a confidence in her that I had never heard before. She’s not really a dreamer, so when she dreams you want to pay attention. I decided to trust that what God had shown her was going to happen. It did happen and now my sister is extremely close to Amauri. Amauri calls her GMom. She is her godmother and her auntie. I am blessed that my sister allowed God to use her to see something that my faith and my fears were blocking me from seeing.

What advice do you have for women who are in the beginning of their infertility journey?

I was just praying for women battling infertility and the Holy Spirit put in my heart, keep your hopes up. One of the biggest challenges we as women battling infertility have is, we struggle with getting our hopes up. What if it doesn’t work out? What if It doesn’t end up the way we hoped it would? The Lord was telling me that it was our responsibility to expect from Him. We must keep our expectations up for what He can do, what He will do and how He does it. I believe that if we can get our hopes up, we can get our expectations up. The scripture is clear, “Faith is the substance of things hoped for.” If our hopes are up, then our substance is strong. When our substance is strong, it can hold the promises of God. If your substance is not strong, because you are afraid to believe that God can and will do exceedingly and abundantly above anything that you could ever ask or think, then we detour our ability to birth our destiny. I encourage my infertility sisters and married couples that are struggling, keep your hopes up. God is able to exceed your expectations, but if your expectations are not high, then you are receiving from the level of what you’ve expected. Believe God better. Believe God bigger. Know that however it is going to be is for the glory of His word and His kingdom. What better way to honor fruitfulness than to allow God to prove to you that He can be fruitful, even when the doctors say no.

Your book, Ferocious Warrior, tells a powerful story of overcoming and conquering life’s trials. You talk about thinking like a warrior. What must happen for one to think like a warrior?

One of the first things is to face your fears. We can not conquer what we are not willing to face. I believe that a warrior never looks at a battle or a war and says, “I can’t do it.” A warrior never looks at a battle or war and says, “I’m not willing to go in it.” It can be a fearful thing. It can look to be fearful. It can look to be a challenge.

It can look to be a battle. It can look to be a heavy situation, but when you are a warrior, that is what you are trained to do. I believe that God has trained us to be warriors and all we have to do is tap into this unknown power. We have to tap into faith and we will find these different weapons in our arsenal that will allow us to dismantle what the enemy is telling us and showing us. We can mentally sustain better. We can physically fight better. I am not suggesting that you resist the enemy, although that is an option. I am suggesting that we rise above the enemy so that we can get a better view of our victory. Once we have a better view of our victory, we can obtain what God has already placed inside of us.

Thinking like a warrior means that you do not allow fear or the enemy to stop you from the view of your victory. Rather, allow the things that have hurt you or pushed you down to fuel your power which will ultimately produce your promise. Once you produce your promise the enemy can’t do anything but level in your ability to trust God in a new and different way. Trusting God is a weapon against the enemy. If faith be our weapon, let’s make it ferocious.

To learn more about Cora Jakes-Coleman and her latest book, Ferocious Warrior, visit http://cjakescoleman.com.

CEOMOM | 47

DEKEDA

Photo Credit: Frosty's Photography

WALK ONE DAY IN OUR SHOES D E K E D A

CEOMOM | 48

B R O W N : A V O I C E F O R F A M I L I E S I M P A C T E D B Y A U T I S M

When you become a mother, you have dreams for your children. Dreams pertaining to what they will be when they grow up to visions of them walking down the aisle to meet their special love. In an instant those dreams can change, and you are forced to accept a new reality that will allow you to thrive as a mother, and your child to be all their capabilities will allow.

Dekeda Brown describes herself as an everyday loving and devoted wife and mother whose life changed the day her beautiful baby girl was diagnosed with Nonverbal Autism at the age of two. Now 14 years old, Leilani, also known as Sneak, is a thriving teenager who loves roller skating, music and throwing a little shade.

Sneak’s autism diagnosis not only shifted how Brown viewed her daughter and her new role as a special needs mother, but it propelled her as an advocate for a community that is often overlooked and misunderstood.

From her blog, “Walk One Day in Our Shoes,” to special events to several appearances on news shows, Brown has dedicated her life to transforming how the world sees children with autism. Recently awarded “Working Mother of the Year” by Bank of America and Working Mother Magazine, Brown has used her platform as a household name for the special needs community to serve as a voice for the voiceless through education and awareness. Brown’s journey to motherhood was not about becoming a mother, but rather redefining her role.

Who is Dekeda Brown?

I am first and foremost a lover of God. My most important job is being a mother. Dekeda Brown is a lot to a lot of people, but being a mother is number one. I am a leader in the disability community not by choice, but it is now my platform. I am a wife and a friend.

Describe your emotions and expectations when you became a mother for the first time.

I did not have a fairytale announcement of becoming a mother. I had just gotten back from a trip with my daughter’s dad. I realized from the trip that our relationship wasn’t going to work so we parted ways. I took a pregnancy test that night and found out I was pregnant.

The first emotion was that of shock. My second reaction was to start cleaning my house. I immediately went into nesting and full mom mode.

Walk us through your journey when you learned that Leilani, also known as Sneak, has Nonverbal Autism and Sensory Processing Disorder. What does it mean to have Nonverbal Autism?

As a baby, Sneak was singing nursery rhymes like “Shoulders, Knees and Toes” and saying “Mommy'' and “Daddy.” At 15 months old, she got an ear infection. She was prone to ear infections and even ended up getting ear tubes that didn’t work. While at a doctor’s appointment at 15 months, the pediatrician suggested that I get her a vaccination. The vaccine discussion is a hot topic in the autism community, but I always share my personal story. I thought, “What is the worst that can happen?” She was on an antibiotic due to the fever. By that night she had a very high fever that was hard to break. After a while, Sneak became a shell of herself and was unable to talk. I thought, “Something is wrong with her.

Something is different.”

I ended up seeing several pediatricians and voicing my concerns. My mother convinced me that I once stopped talking at Sneak’s age, but I knew something wasn’t right. Another indicator was that she couldn’t stand loud noises. I noticed it at church and at family events like my niece’s graduation.

When I received her autism diagnosis, I died inside.

Every dream and hope and aspiration was gone.

That is when the depression set in.

CEOMOM | 49

I saw a news piece where a mom shared the story of her son. She said, “My son stopped talking and became a shell of himself.” I was experiencing the same thing as this mom. They received the diagnosis of autism. I thought, “Wow, Sneak has autism.” I told her doctor that she was autistic. The doctor asked me, “Why are you self-diagnosing?” After several tests and seeing a developmental pediatrician, I received the official diagnosis. That appointment was complete hell for us.

They test your child with a spoon and a bowl and a stuffed dog. Sneak used the bowl and spoon as a drum.

When I received her autism diagnosis, I died inside.

Every dream and hope and aspiration was gone. That is when the depression set in. I was dealing with undiagnosed depression and learning a new child. I had to be a new mom instead of the mom I planned on being.

There was a grieving process. I had to take a minute to regroup. I knew I had to set the precedent. I told myself, “If you fall apart, everyone else will. You have to get things done.” I was done crying. I set up an appointment with a therapist and began moving forward.

How did your expectations for your daughter change after receiving her diagnosis?

It was no longer about me. It was about her life. I am a dancer. I am very dramatic so I thought my daughter was going to be a dancer like me. She was going to dance for Alvin Ailey since I didn’t. At the point of her diagnosis, my expectations were stripped. There is a poem called “Welcome to Holland” by Emily Perl Kingsley. Kingsley is an autism mom who describes plans to visit Holland. In preparation to visit this foreign land she learned the language, read the guidebook and studied the culture.

When she lands, she realizes she’s not in Holland, she’s in Italy. She doesn’t know the language or have the clothes for the weather. She has not studied Italy, therefore she doesn’t know anything about this foreign country. That’s what being an autism mom is like. I had to let go of everything I had hoped and dreamed. This is a new someone and you are now a disability mom.

We recently moved and I was going through some boxes and pulled out a friend’s card from Sneak’s baby shower.

I remember looking at the card and all the expectations I had of my unborn child. Although they are happening differently, Sneak is doing what is on the cards. We are touching people. My old expectations have dropped but the new expectation is, I will be a crusader for autistic parents. I am a realist. I understand that Sneak is going to live with us into adulthood. Will she talk one day, she may not, but she has other ways of communicating.

CEOMOM | 50

Photo Credit: MonBisou Photography

Photo Credit: Jo Padulla Photography

Photo Credit: Iris Mannings Photography

How did your expectations for yourself and motherhood change after receiving Sneak’s diagnosis?

The first year of her diagnosis, I did not want more children. I felt she would require more time and devotion. I didn’t want to be selfish. A year after her diagnosis, I asked myself, “Why am I going to be deprived of things?” My daughter will still experience things. I am not going to hide her. My expectations shifted from being the parent I thought I would be to being a fighter. My personality is bold. I remember one moment in the living room looking at her and thinking, I will be fighting for her the rest of her life.

As her mother, how would you describe Sneak beyond Nonverbal Autism? What do you wish people knew about the capabilities of children with Nonverbal Autism?

Sneak is shady. She will shade you in such a nice way. She knows energy. She knows if she doesn't want to be around

someone so I honor that. She has such a pureness about her. She does what she wants to do. She knows she is nonverbal and I know she struggles with it, but she doesn’t worry about what the rest of us worry about like politics. She is very smart. She is careful and makes safety a priority. She will not go into a dark room without grabbing my arm. She will make eye contact with me to make sure it is okay to do anything. She is always respectful.

All people see are her struggles, but she is still a teenager. She is very stubborn and very loving. She loves music, including ratchet music, and singing. She has such a loving heart and a kind spirit. I really do appreciate her. She is also hilarious - she knows when she is doing something comical and will continue to do it when she is receiving laughs. She enjoys roller skating as a pasttime and is acutely musical. She can hear a tune once and hum it with perfect pitch for days. Her favorite album is the “Hamilton - The Musical” soundtrack.

My expectations shi ted from being the parent I thought I would be to being a fighter.

CEOMOM | 51

Photo Credit: MonBisou Photography

What do you wish people knew about the capabilities of children with Nonverbal Autism?

I often share during my speaking engagements that people with Nonverbal Autism can understand what you are saying to and around them. Not being able to speak does not mean that they cannot understand your tone, demeanor, and actions toward them, or that they don’t have anything to say. Sneak speaks through her eyes, body language and inflection of her voice.

I have full conversations with Sneak where I just look into her eyes and simply repeat the melodies, sounds and tones that she is making. I wish people understood that individuals with Nonverbal Autism are capable of so much more than their brains allow them to do. Sometimes, you have to dig a bit to uncover their strengths.

What advice do you have for mothers who are in the beginning stages of parenting a child with Nonverbal Autism (special needs)?

First, don’t get lost in what the Internet has to say about HOW you should act or WHAT you should do. Not everyone grieves about their child’s diagnosis and not everyone sees it as a “blessing”.

Honor and respect your authentic feelings.

Next, understand that YOU are the voice of your child! If you are not used to fighting for someone, you are now the owner of that responsibility, so get prepared. Lastly, becoming involved in the disability community can greatly improve your general outlook and well being.

NEVER forget that your child cannot change their diagnosis. They are depending on you to be patient, nurturing and kind!

What was the defining moment that inspired you to start “Walk One Day in Our Shoes?”

After a video I recorded regarding a “comedian" making fun of the CEOMOM | 52

persona of a woman with special needs went viral, I received a lot of feedback online. Not only did people want to hear more from me, they expressed the need to connect in person. “Walk One Day In Our Shoes” was created to meet two needs: that of the general public who wanted to hear more from me by inviting me to speak at events, etc., and the other, to give my family and others like us an opportunity to enjoy social events in a judgment free zone. We have evolved over the years - but our mission is still the same.

How do you serve the community?

I serve the community in a variety of ways. I am a media correspondent with WJLA News Channel 7 in Washington, D.C. In addition, I am a blogger at WalkOneDayInOurShoes.com, where I share everyday stories about raising a 14-year-old nonverbal black girl in this country.

As an event planner, I produce social dance events for the special needs community and their families to enjoy.

I partner with local businesses and schools to teach special needs sensitivity training to help the general public better understand how to positively interact and coexist with our community.

I am a public speaker - recently sharing our story at the 2019 Momference hosted by District Motherhued.

We are gearing up for our upcoming holiday events - A Winter Wonderland in December and A New Year’s Eve celebration. I am always looking to do more as each year passes by, and I’ve got some BIG things planned for 2020!

Learn more about Dekeda Brown and “Walk One Day in our Shoes” at https://www.walkonedayinourshoes.com/.

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OVEN-ROASTED FALL VEGETABLES INGREDIENTS 2 cups butternut squash, peeled and cut into 1-inch pieces 1 LB Brussels sprouts, trimmed and halved or quartered 2 tsp vegetable oil Pinch of salt 1/2 tsp of onion powder/garlic powder Black pepper to taste Parsley, chopped (optional)

INSTRUCTIONS

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CEOMOM | 54

Preheat oven to 425 degrees F. In a bowl, toss the butternut squash and Brussels sprouts with the oil, salt, pepper, garlic/onion powder. Mix thoroughly.

Line in a large baking sheet with aluminum foil..

Spread the vegetables on the sheet, arranging the Brussels sprouts cut-side down. Bake for 20 to 25 minutes, or until vegetables are cooked through.

Garnish with chopped parsley if desired.

Recipe presented by: Noni Robinson

Photo Credit: Joseph Gonzalez

SWEET POTATO & APPLE SOUP INGREDIENTS 1 3/4 pounds sweet potatoes, peeled and cut into 1 inch dice 1 small parsnip, peeled and cut into 1 inch dice 2 garlic cloves, coarsely chopped Salt to taste 6 cups vegetable stock or low sodium broth 1 cup apple cider 1 teaspoon green Tabasco sauce Optional-Finely diced Granny Smith apple and minced parsley, for garnish

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WE HELP YOU GET WHAT YOU NEED IN LIFE.

Photo Credit: Cayla1

Preheat the oven to 375. On a baking sheet, toss the sweet potatoes with the parsnip, garlic, olive oil and salt. Bake for 45 minutes, or until tender. In a blender, puree half of the vegetables with 3 cups of the stock; transfer to a large saucepan. Repeat with the remaining vegetables and stock. Add the apple cider and Tabasco and heat through. Season with salt. Serve with the diced apple and minced parsley.

Recipe presented by: Noni Robinson

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Noni Robinson's

HOMEMADE APPLE CIDER INGREDIENTS 10-12 medium apples assorted such as Honeycrisp, Gala, Rome, and Granny Smith 2 medium navel oranges peeled and sectioned 4 (3-inch) cinnamon sticks or 2 teaspoons of ground cinnamon 1 tablespoon whole cloves or 1 1/2 tablespoons of ground cloves 1 gallon of fresh water dark brown sugar to taste, optional optional garnish: apple slices, orange slices, cinnamon stick Full recipe: https://ceomommagazine.com/homemadeapple-cider.

Nutrition News Update: presented by Appetite for Health - Sanctuary Resort & Spa in Scottsdale, AZ September 18-19, 2019 Appetite for Health hosted a select group of food and nutrition journalists from across the country for the Nutrition News Update Conference. This year’s event was held at the world renowned Sanctuary Resort and Spa in Scottsdale, Arizona.

From plant based alternatives to CBD infused foods to lesser known grains such as sorghum, the event focused on current food and nutrition trends and consumer perception.

Speakers from several food associations, provided ground-breaking nutrition and health information based on years of research. The focus, to debunk myths about some of our favorite foods and provide an array of healthy alternatives fit for the entire family.

Nutrition News invited CEOMOM Magazine out for this two day media event to discuss common foods that are often misunderstood. The event included health and nutrition journalists from Women's Health, Prevention and MSN.com. to interact and mingle with food companies and associations that are

Photo Credit: Yulia Khlebnikova

revolutionizing the way we see food, and its role in overall health. The two day event included presentations from companies like Wyman’s, North American Olive Oil Association, United Sorghum Checkoff Program, Idaho Potatoes, American Egg Board, B&G Foods, Unilever and Sweet Earth, who introduced their Awesome Burger, National Watermelon Board and NOW Foods.

Kitty Broihier, food and nutrition communications professional, shared the health benefits of wild berries versus cultivated berries, stating that the former is high in antioxidants which help to fight oxidative stress and inflammation. Wyman’s harvests wild berries which go to your freezer within a day after harvest. Joseph R. Profaci, Executive Director of the North American Olive Oil Association (NAOOA), debunked the claim that you can’t use olive oil at high temperatures. Profaci also shared how to check olive oil for efficacy and quality.

Tips for Cooking with Olive Oil: Don’t heat up the oil first. Smoke point is not a factor when deciding if an oil is safe for high temperatures. Flavor is an indicator of the quality of an oil.

Other notable speakers were Sue Kennedy of Idaho Potatoes, Jenna Bell of the National Watermelon Board and Rhonda Richardson of Sweet Earth, who unveiled the Awesome Burger by Nestlé. Awesome Burger, a plant based alternative to beef burgers, made its official debut in October.

About Appetite for Health Appetite for Health is an award-winning nutrition communications firm founded by registered dietitians, Katherine Brooking and Julie Upton. The firm has been providing nutrition content for national broadcast, print and e-media for more than 15 years.

Learn more about Appetite for Health at https://appforhealth.com/.

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A ter Elizabeth's Passing

After Elizabeth’s Passing An Excerpt from Annette Hines’ book, Butterflies and Second Chances: A Mom’s Memoir of Love and Loss My daughter Elizabeth was the love of my life.

I know most people say their husband or their wife is the love of their life. But for me, I know it was her. Elizabeth just totally got me, and I got her. We spent a lot of time alone together, she and I. She was a good daughter. Even though she was so disabled, she was incredibly powerful in her way, and so good to me —and good for me.

She taught me so much, and not in that stupid, goofy way that people like to say. She really did help me learn about life. For one thing, she brought me to this great profession that I love. I get to meet so many awesome people because of her. After Elizabeth passed, after the parade of people in our house, suddenly everybody was gone. The house was empty. A crew came and took away all her medical equipment.

They removed her hospital bed, her medicines, everything. It was weird.

Then I had to go to the funeral home and pick out a casket. I couldn’t even think. I don’t really remember much about it. It felt so surreal: what am I doing here, picking out a coffin, what am I even supposed to be asking for?

All in all, it felt like the longest week of my life. We buried her on Friday, four days after she passed. It was raining outside, and I remember waking up that morning and thinking that I just wanted it to rain forever. I never wanted the sun to shine again. It felt right somehow, appropriate, that it was so cold out. It was the kind of November cold that just sits in your bones and makes you hurt, you know?

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When we buried her, I thought I was ready. I was so full of myself thinking about how smart I was that I had made all these preparations and how I was going to be ready when the time came. I wasn’t ready. I’m still not ready.

In the months after Elizabeth died, in fact for a whole year after, I was like a dead person, just walking around like a zombie. I still did my job; I connected with people. But it was all a charade. I struggled every morning just to get out of bed and go to work. I remember spending a lot of time that winter lying on my bed, doing nothing, just staring at the ceiling. Mark, my husband, took up the slack in terms of keeping the household running, getting Caroline, my other daughter, back and forth from school, calling in laundry service, having meals delivered. He was amazing. Me, I just couldn’t get up. It was like my arms and legs and head were all so heavy, weighing me down. It took so much energy just to lift myself up out of bed, get my clothes on, and get out the door.

People had stopped visiting. For them, it was all over. For me, it was still such a difficult time. I couldn’t think. Grief is funny that way, how it hits you. It’s not always about the crying. It’s not like you’re in the same excruciating pain and agony that you were.

But the grief is still there, it’s deep, and it impacts you in other ways: it interferes with your memory, your ability to think and process information.

Grief comes like the ocean: it crashes over you like waves, then retreats for a little while, then comes back again. In the same way that the waves reshape the shoreline, my grief would slowly reshape my life. It’s a very gradual transition, just like with the seascape, but very powerful. It is the process of becoming something else.

At some point, almost a year after Elizabeth’s death, I was able to get my footing again. The sand had come back and the tide had gone out. The waves weren’t as strong. Whereas earlier, I felt like I was drowning, now the ocean was calm and I could catch my breath. I started to think clearly again, and to try to rediscover who I was in life and why I was doing what I was doing.

But then I started to question everything about myself. If I wasn’t Elizabeth’s mom anymore, who was I? The relationship had defined me for so long, almost my entire life. I had her right after I graduated from law school. It had been school, school, school, school, school, married, baby. My whole identity as an adult was being Elizabeth’s mother. Without it, I was lost. I started to perform a kind of inventory of self. Yes, I was an attorney, but did I still want to do that kind of work? Did I want to get another job instead? Did I want to shut my practice down?

I was also a wife. Did I want to stay married to Mark? I loved him, but part of me wanted to just sell everything, shed all the trapping of my previous life, and move away with Caroline. I know how harsh that sounds, and I’m certainly glad I didn’t do that, didn’t act on those impulses.

But at the time, I just didn’t have anything left. As devoted as Mark had been to me, I didn’t think I had it in me to love him the way he loved me. I was struggling just to love Caroline. It’s awful, but it’s the truth. I was struggling to feel anything at that time.

Healing doesn’t come in a linear fashion. Rather, it shows up in patches, like puffs of smoke.

It wasn’t until the spring of 2015, the second spring after Elizabeth passed, that I started to come alive again. What changed? The turning point was when I attended a grief group— put on by Children’s Hospital and the Dana Farber Cancer Institute—for parents who had lost their children through illness.

The team at Children’s had been trying to check in with me, calling and emailing, for a full year. But I just wasn’t ready to talk or engage. I never answered, but to their credit, they kept trying.

Then, one day, they sent me a note about the grief group.

The grief group changed me too. It was amazing in so many ways.

We had different readings every week, and not all of them were slam-dunks but they were always thought provoking. We also each got a little bottle, and would add a new layer of colored sand each week, whatever color we chose. We did that for three months, and at the end we all had these beautiful bottles: a collage of colorful sand in different layers and different colors.

It wasn’t just about survival. It was a process of transformation.

Through it all, I became something different and awesome. I still have the bottle to this day. It sits on top of my piano. Mark did one, too, and his sits next to mine.

It may have taken me a while to get in the groove of the grief group, but once I did, it was just what I needed, to let it all go and talk freely. It couldn’t have happened earlier, until all the right pieces were in place. But now I had this group that I could really relate to, this tragic club of parents who had lost their children to disease. What an odd kind of community: it’s a group you never expect to be a part of, and you certainly never want to join—but there it is. Thank God that they were there for me, that they understood and wanted to listen. I didn’t have that anywhere else. Healing doesn’t come in a linear fashion. Rather, it shows up in patches, like puffs of smoke. You catch a piece of it and start to feel whole again, but then it evaporates. There are starts and stops. But like the ocean, eventually the angry waves subside. It marked the beginning of true healing for me. Finally, it was my time. I was ready for it, and I came out of the experience that spring with a renewed passion for my life.

Annette Hines, Esq. is the author of Butterflies and Second Chances: A Mom’s Memoir of Love and Loss. She is a powerhouse advocate for the special needs community. https://specialneedscompanies.com/.

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An Excerpt from:

Go Ahead, Stop & Pee: Running During Pregnancy and Postpartum By: Kate Mihevc-Edwards PT, DDC, OCS & Blair Green, PT, DDC, OCS Running during pregnancy is more common than ever. There is a whole new industry of running shirts with statements such as: “Running for two,” “Yes, my doctor says it’s okay to run,” and “No, I did not swallow a pumpkin!”

Research has proven that for most women, running during pregnancy is a good thing.

What you need to understand as a pregnant runner or health care provider is that the body undergoes tremendous physical change during pregnancy. Underestimating what is happening in the body can cause frustration when running times get progressively slower, or when typical runs of three to five miles seem much more difficult. Understanding the changes that the body is undergoing will allow pregnant women to run more confidently. It will also help health care providers treat their clients more effectively. While some changes occur rapidly and early on in pregnancy, others develop gradually. Each trimester (13 weeks) of pregnancy is characterized by its own set of physiological changes. Some of these changes are visible, such as weight gain and postural adaptations. Others, including cardiovascular and hormonal changes, are not as obvious, but are equally significant.

There is overwhelming support for exercise during pregnancy; however, understanding your body’s changes will help you understand what is a normal response to exercise, and what may require more attention.

Learn more: https://www.amazon.com/Ahead-Stop-Pee-Pregnancy-Postpartum/dp/0999795031

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WEIGHT GAIN The Institute of Medicine updated its recommendation for weight gain in pregnancy in 2009. It recommends a weight gain of 25-35 pounds for singleton pregnancies. This may vary from person to person. Factors include pre-pregnancy weight, activity level, and fluid retention. It is recommended that women who are underweight gain up to 40 pounds during pregnancy, while those who are overweight not gain more than 15 pounds. Pregnancy weight may include the weight of the fetus, placenta, breast tissue, fat stores, and fluid. Research shows that continuing to exercise throughout pregnancy does not seem to affect gestational weight gain, dispelling a myth that exercise may harm the growth of the baby. Also, remember that it is not appropriate to use exercise during pregnancy as a means to minimize or prevent weight gain.

BONES, JOINTS, AND LIGAMENTS The skeletal and ligamentous structures in the body support the growing fetus. They also help prepare the body for childbirth by becoming more “lax.” As the baby grows, the mother’s posture begins to change. The rib cage may become flared, and the natural arch in the spine, known as lordosis, may increase. Increasing lordosis may cause the pelvis to tilt anteriorly and tighten the hip flexor muscles. The thoracic spine may also become more rounded as breast size increases. Some women develop more of a swayback posture, with the hips and pelvis anterior to the shoulders, and a posterior pelvic tilt.

Hormones, such as relaxin and progesterone, affect all of the body’s connective tissue. In the bony skeleton, the pelvis widens, primarily at the joint in the front, the pubic symphysis.

Joints may feel “looser” or easier to stretch than they felt prior to pregnancy. The arches of the feet may flatten. Another change in the joints is a reduction in synovial fluid. Synovial fluid is the lubrication for the joints (like oil in an engine). It is important to recognize this change because it may take longer to warm up joints while exercising.

MUSCLES The muscular system adapts to the changing bony framework of the skeleton. With changes in posture, the muscles may lengthen or shorten. Moreover, laxity in the ligaments may place more demand on the muscular system to provide support with movement. Muscles that typically become tight include lumbar paraspinals, psoas, iliacus, hip flexors, adductors (inner thigh), and pectoralis muscles (chest). Muscles that typically become lengthened include abdominals, hamstrings, glutes, and posterior shoulder muscles. A common occurrence in pregnancy is a stretching of the fascia (connective tissue) in the abdominal wall at the linea alba (midline). This is known as diastasis recti abdominis (DRA), and affects up to two-thirds of all pregnancies. Tissue laxity, coupled with a stretching abdomen, causes this to occur. It is not an emergency, and with appropriate attention and modifications, there is no reason a woman cannot exercise with DRA. Exercise modifications for DRA will be discussed later.

CARDIOVASCULAR Cardiovascular changes begin in the first trimester. Like the ligaments, the blood vessels also become lax. Blood pressure initially decreases. This is known as “underfill.” The biggest symptom of underfill is dizziness with position changes.

During the second trimester, blood volume begins to increase and can increase up to 50 percent by the end of the second trimester. Blood pressure returns to normal postpartum.

Varicose veins are a common occurrence in pregnancy. It is common to see varicose veins in the legs, as well as in the vulva.

The risk of varicose veins increases in pregnancy because of laxity in the blood vessels. Compression garments may help minimize the varicosities and improve circulation. In the first trimester, there is also an increased demand for oxygen. Heart rate increases in response to this demand. If you monitor your heart rate while running, you may find that it is higher than normal, or increasing rapidly as you begin to exercise. It may be necessary to slow your pace, for the warm-up or for the entire run, especially as pregnancy advances. In the third trimester, blood pressure may begin to rise. It is important to monitor it as pregnancy advances, as hypertension (blood pressure greater than 140/90) is a sign of a medical emergency known as preeclampsia. Other signs of pre-eclampsia, or pregnancy-induced hypertension, include swelling in the legs and ankles, headaches, right-sided upper abdominal pain, blurred vision, and rapid weight gain (over one to two days). One phenomenon to consider with exercise is supine hypotension. This occurs around week 20 of pregnancy and can continue through delivery. It happens when the pregnant woman lies on her back. The weight of the fetus can compress the inferior vena cava, which is the main vein that returns blood to the heart. The result is a drop in blood pressure, which can leave the woman feeling dizzy or lightheaded, and in some extreme cases, can even cause the woman to pass out. The important thing to know about supine hypotension is that when it occurs, it does not harm the baby at all. Still, there is some evidence that at full term, lying supine may impede blood flow to the fetus. It is also completely preventable by limiting the amount of time that the pregnant woman spends on her back while exercising. Many exercises and stretches can be modified to standing, side lying, or sitting to prevent supine hypotension.

While some changes occur rapidly and early on in pregnancy, others develop gradually.

KATE MIHEVC-EDWARDS, PT, DPT, OCS is a Doctor of Physical Therapy with a focus on treating runners and triathletes, a boardcertified orthopedic specialist, founder/CEO of Precision Performance & Physical Therapy. A former endurance athlete with thirteen marathons under her belt, Dr. Edwards is also the author of Racing Heart, which chronicles her experience with a genetic heart disease known as arrhythmogenic right ventricular cardiomyopathy (ARVC). Dr. Edwards is adjunct faculty in the Physical Therapy program at Emory University.

BLAIR GREEN, PT, DPT, OCS is a Doctor of Physical Therapy with a focus on pre/post-natal health and wellness, the founder/CEO of Catalyst Physical Therapy, and a board-certified orthopedic specialist. Known as the “go-to” expert in her field, Dr. Green is also a Polestar-trained Pilates instructor and a Certified Manual Trigger Point Therapist. She serves as an instructor in the Physical Therapy program at Emory University, and as a faculty member for several Physical Therapy continuing education companies.

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Photo Credit: Tyeshia Barnes Photography

EMPTY ARMS WHERE YOU ONCE WERE. A FULL HEART WHERE YOU WILL ALWAYS LIVE.Â

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Photo Credit: Tyeshia Barnes Photography

YOU ARE MY HOPE AND MY HEART'S DESIRE. FOR YOU, I'VE PRAYED. FOR YOU, I BELIEVE.

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Nutrition Tips for Pregnancy Related Problems

Photo Credit: Ryan Franco

presented by Noni Robinson Many women find being pregnant a thoroughly enjoyable experience and suffer very few unpleasant symptoms, but there are those who discover that being pregnant can lead to some uncomfortable effects. Very few of these incidental discomforts threaten either the fetus or the expectant mother, but the more enjoyable a pregnancy, the better for both mother and child.

Pregnancy lasts for approximately forty weeks. This time is commonly divided into three periods, or trimesters: from the first day of the last menstrual period to week 12; from week 12 to week 28; from week 28 until delivery.

Most of the discomforts that occur during pregnancy are the result of hormonal changes within the body, nutritional deficiencies, and profound anatomical changes. I will address some of the most common pregnancy related problems and offer natural remedies as well as helpful hints and suggestions for maintaining maximum health during pregnancy. For a healthy pregnancy and birth, it is necessary to consult and work with a qualified health care professional, be it a physician, nurse practitioner, or midwife. It is also wise to work with your health care practitioner on a birth plan. This allows you to decide in CEOMOM | 70

advance what you want and what you could choose from among your options before, during, and after labor.

ANEMIA During pregnancy, your blood volume increases . The increase in volume is largely due to an increase in plasma (the liquid part of blood) rather than in red (or white) blood cells. Plasma volume, then, is increasing faster than red blood cell volume. The protein hemoglobin, which carries oxygen to the body's cell, inhabits red blood cells.

Because there is a decreased proportion of hemoglobin, the result can be anemia.

Anemia is most likely to develop in the second trimester of pregnancy. It can cause fatigue, a rapid heartbeat, and paleness of the skin, gums, and around the inside of the eye. There may also be cravings to eat substances other than food, such as coal, dirt, ice, starch, or hair. This is called pica and is normally the sign of a nutritional deficiency.

Anemia is unlikely to affect the developing baby. The fetus depletes the mother's iron resources.

Recommendations Make sure you have enough folic acid, vitamin B12 , and the other B-complex

tamins in your diet. Eat foods rich in iron, such as green leafy vegetables, prunes, raisins, organically raised red meat and liver, and bread and pastas made from whole grain flour. If your health care provider prescribes iron supplements, take them with vitamin C to help the absorption of the mineral. Iron supplements can also cause constipation, so eat plenty of high-fiber foods and increase your fluid intake.

GAS (FLATULENCE) Gas, like other digestive upsets, is a common complaint during pregnancy. Even foods that cause no difficulties at other times may begin to cause trouble.

Recommendations Keep a food diary to help you determine which foods, or combination of foods seem to be causing the gas. Avoid any suspect foods. You may have to adapt your usual diet during pregnancy. Many foods you liked before may suddenly seem unappealing. Eat four to five small meals a day, instead of three big meals. Chew your food slowly and well. Do not overtax your digestive system.

Eat four or more servings of fresh fruits and vegetables every day. Get adequate exercise.

Walking is an excellent way to alleviate gas.

Read the full article at https://ceomommagazine.com/category/health.

POLISHED EXISTS to gather young professional women to navigate career and explore faith. www.polishedonline.org

Photo Courtesy of Twelve 12 Ministries

TWELVE 12 MINISTRIES FOUNDED BY NICOLE CLARK A SAFE PLACE TO CONNECT AND FIND HOPE WHILE EXPERIENCING INFERTILITY & PREGNANCY LOSS CEOMOM | 72

With my own personal infertility diagnosis and heartbreak from miscarriage, Twelve 12 Ministries was created out of experience. If I did not have Jesus in my life, a community to surround me, and the truth of God's word, I would not have made it through the pain. This is my story, and through my pain and hurt, God saved me. The strength I was given from this trial is now my way to help others who are going through a similar experience.

Did you know one in four pregnancies end in miscarriage and one in eight couples have trouble getting pregnant? I found most churches did not have support groups or resources to help. And since depression, anxiety, guilt and shame follow an infertility diagnosis or the loss of a child, the Lord first revealed the need, and then the vision.

Twelve 12 Ministries exists to create a community for women suffering and longing to heal. Our mission, to encourage, uplift and point everyone to Christ and find a meaningful relationship with Him. This ministry is a place where grief, fear, pain, and doubt are countered with hope, patience, and prayer.

Photo Courtesy of Twelve 12 Ministries

Our heart and mission is to remind every woman that they are seen, loved and not forgotten.

Inspired by Romans 12:12, “rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer”, we focus on biblical teachings to connect, inspire, and support women through their most difficult times.

How we serve our community and women all over the U.S. is by offering our T12 Program, connecting you with an Infertility and Loss Coach, opportunities to Share Your Story, gifting Butterfly Boxes, hosting Refined support group meetings, as well as providing the Hope Project for individuals and families. Twelve 12 Ministries provides a safe environment for women to seek, learn, and gather online, in small groups, large groups or one-on-one.

Community is such a huge part of Twelve 12 Ministries. It is who we are, how we serve and how we bring glory to God. We collaborate with local MOPS groups (Mothers of Preschoolers) and have a beautiful partnership with Prestonwood Pregnancy Center. We’ve also linked arms with several local infertility and loss ministries/organizations to make a larger impact in the kingdom.

With the Lords guidance, we have the opportunity to pour into the community, share the gospel and help uplift others. There are 3 major ways to support Twelve 12 Ministries: pray, give and share.

Our heart and mission is to remind every woman that they are seen, loved and not forgotten.

Please pray for the women we serve as well as the direction for our ministry. Give, whether you are donating your time, resources or materials, you can make a difference, especially an eternal impact. Help share our message and ministry with those you love or think may need our support.

If you're in a tough season right now and you need a place to go to be heard, supported, or just surrounded by those with shared experiences, the first step is to reach out to us. No matter your pain, loss or experience, we are all connected in Christ. Whatever you may be dealing with, fighting for, or walking through - you are not alone. Learn more at https://www.twelve12ministries.com/.

Nicole Clark is a Texas native who loves Jesus and spends her days as a servant leader. A former back-up dancer, she now uses her experiences to serve with Twelve 12 Ministries. She enjoys spending time with her family, reading and learning more about theology. Nicole lives in Plano, TX with her husband Darren and daughter Delanie.

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Photo Credit: Anika Thomas Photography

MY PREDESTINED ONE FOUNDED BY TIFFANY FINLEY

RENEWING HOPE. RESTRENGTHENING FAITH.

My infertility journey began in May 2007. I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) when I was in my early 20’s. PCOS is a condition that affects your hormone levels, thus leading to the struggle to conceive because the main hormones: progesterone, estrogen, and other significant hormones that play a major role in reproduction aren’t balanced, and others are too high. Therefore, I suffered from irregular periods, and anovulatory cycles whenever I did have a period every 4-6 months. I wasn’t ovulating, and couldn’t get pregnant.

My Obgyn at the time ran some testing that confirmed the PCOS diagnosis, and explained that I would need help getting pregnant when I was ready to start a family. At this time I was engaged to my now amazing and wonderful husband who attended this appointment with me, and also knew that we’d need help getting pregnant due to my diagnosis of PCOS. He was so supportive, and not one time did he ever make me feel less than a woman. He helped me remain encouraged and positive, and he maintained an optimistic attitude regarding what lied ahead for us.

Five years later, a relocation to Dallas, TX, and two and a half years of marital bliss, we were ready to officially start our family. We knew that

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we’d need to seek help. We began our trying to conceive journey with my new OB/GYN in October 2011. She started me on Clomid, and after 3 rounds of Clomid, we were unsuccessful in achieving pregnancy and moved forward with seeing a Fertility Specialist. My Fertility Specialist is amazing! She completed some testing on my husband and me, and confirmed my PCOS diagnosis. After four rounds of Intrauterine Insemination (IUI) with two of those rounds resulting in a pregnancy that ended in ectopic miscarriages 6 months apart, we were advised to move forward with Invitro Fertilization (IVF).

Our first round of IVF was unsuccessful, but our second round included only doing a frozen embryo transfer (FET), and it was successful! Talk about joy! To say we were excited is an understatement! Our prayers had been answered, and we were ready to meet our miracle and rainbow-- Finley baby #1, anxiously anticipating his arrival on March 28, 2013.

Quite the opposite happened, Caleb made his debut at 25+5 weeks gestation on December 18, 2012 due to my incompetent cervix, bulging water bag, and having dilated 3.5 centimeters. I tried my best to do everything that I could, and knew to do to keep him in utero for as long as possible, but my body was doing its own thing, and baby boy was born by way of caesarean section. We had a really long road ahead of us, but Caleb was a fighter and a warrior. He was so strong, and I learned the true meaning of prayer, faith, and fighting when the odds are stacked against you. He had a lot of setbacks, and milestones reached, but he thrived, and grew stronger every day during his 113 day (four months) neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) stay. He is now a healthy, vibrant, loquacious, rambunctious six year old, who has so much love and zest for life.

About MY Predestined One My Predestined One is a faith-based nonprofit organization that supports, educates, and encourages women during pregnancy, infertility, premature birth & loss and beyond, while bringing global awareness to these issues. We serve women and couples expecting, still in the wait, and NICU moms through our programs and resources such as prayer summits, donated books, support groups and seminars.

I started My Predestined One, because It was what I didn’t have access to during my own journey to motherhood, and NICU Journey.

God began speaking to my heart about starting an organization to assist, support, encourage, pray for, and walk alongside other women and couples who were experiencing the hardship, emotional turmoil, pain, and fear of walking through a journey of infertility, miscarriage, pregnancy loss, and premature birth. These things are near and dear to my heart, and I know firsthand how these things can impact you

emotionally, physically, financially, and mentally. I set out to be what I wished I had during my journey to motherhood—other women who’d walk alongside me during the long, hard journey of infertility and time in the NICU. I want to be a source of encouragement, support, hope, and strength. My Predestined One desires to renew hope and strengthen the faith of all women dealing with the ups and downs of life in the NICU and beyond, and trying to conceive and begin a family.

How We Can Help You The first step to getting help from My Predestined One is heading to our site and contacting us with a simple email to attend a monthly support group meeting, submit a prayer request. Let us know where you are on the journey, and what kind of resource or support you need. We are connected to several other amazing organizations and resources that we can get women connected to, and we’d love to share them with you. We also welcome women dealing with an infertility diagnosis to connect with our online, private, support group.

How You Can Help Us My Predestined One is a nonprofit organization that thrives on the support from our community, supporters, and volunteers, to help us achieve our mission of supporting, educating, and encouraging women during pregnancy, infertility, premature birth & loss and beyond. There are many ways to serve and get involved, including volunteering your time and talent at one of our fundraising and outreach events, speaking at one of our events to share your story to renew hope and strengthen the faith of other women, being a guest resource at our monthly support groups, donating crocheted items and clothing, such as onesies, blankets, hats, booties, etc. to gift to women in our care Photo Courtesy: KiwiCo packages. You can volunteer with us, contribute your professional expertise about infertility, premature birth, miscarriage, or pregnancy or just share your own personal story by contacting us at contact@mypredestinedone.org. You can also head to the donation page on our site to donate toward our cause. No donation is too big or too small.

Learn more at https://www.mypredestinedone.org/

I set out to be what I wished I had during my journey to motherhood—other women who’d walk alongside me during the long, hard journey of infertility and time in the NICU.

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Photo Credit: Rhi Lee

Park Place Luxury & Supercar Showcase: Upholding a Standard of Excellence By: Marcus Matthews

September 28, more than 4,500 people attended the 3rd Annual Park Place Luxury & Supercar Showcase at the Four Seasons Resort and Club Dallas at Las Colinas "Every Day is a Showcase at Park Place!" On September 28, at the Four Seasons Resort and Club Dallas at Las Colinas, the Park Place standard of excellence held true! To say the Third Annual Park Place Luxury and Supercar Showcase exceeded expectations is an understatement. I was blown away the moment I arrived. The Park Place culture was showcased in every way throughout the event. From the moment I parked my car and caught the luxury shuttle bus to the front gate, I experienced unmatched luxury and service reminiscent of the Park Place brand. From the warm welcome at check-in to the commemorative program showcasing a gorgeous and artistic, yet powerful mosaic of the Bentley brand with a celebratory 100-year past and present on both the front and back covers, to being greeted by exuberant Park Place employees and staff from all areas of the company to the superior service of the volunteers and servers to the Park Place New Car Concours display of luxury cars, including the latest models from every brand the dealership group represents including Rolls-Royce, Maserati, McLaren, Bentley, Karma, Porsche, Mercedes-Benz, Lexus, Volvo, Jaguar, and Land Rover, the details were as intentional as they were exquisite.

Photo Credit: Patty Blome

Photo Credit: Michael AInsworth

The Park Place Motorsports team showcased a line of race cars including vintage luxury cars and race cars such as the 1965 Corvette Stingray .

Photo Credit: Patty Blome

The event was as diverse as it was luxurious in its offerings. The Highland Park Village runway fashion show, produced by Jan Strimple, occurred on the Million Air Stage in the Porsche Luxury Lifestyle Pavilion.

Alice + Olivia, St. John, Trina Turk and Theory were featured. There was also a Haute Hat contest for the distinguished ladies and gent in attendance. Various live performances on the Lexus Live Stage and a deejay and host provided the music entertainment which was broadcast outdoors as well as indoors, creating a hip atmosphere. There were also vendors that not only showcased their products, but

provided a different form of entertainment by hosting games for prizes, drawings, and giveaways and swag.

Adding to this Park Place showcase was the Allie Beth Allman – URBAN VIP Lounge offering delicious bites from local star restaurants in DFW including Texas de Brazil, The French Room, LAW, III Forks, Cool River, Dallas Chop House, Dallas Fish Market, Wild Salsa, Kai, Whiskey Cake, Cork & Pig Tavern, Make Your Life Sweeter, and Carlton Provisions. There was also a showcase of exclusive wines and cocktails for event patrons to enjoy. There was a perfect mixture of cars (and trucks) of old and new, luxury and super, high-end food samples and drinks, a fashion show, and live entertainment.

The Park Place Luxury & Supercar Showcase was a family-friendly event with the Kids Zone, featuring the North Texas Diecast Collectors Club’s interactive 60-foot downhill Hot Wheels track, battery-operated mini luxury cars and trucks such as the Mercedes GWagon, Porsche, and Bentley for children to ride, a meet and greet with teen race car driver Kinzie Wilson, and a soda pop truck. My daughters cannot stop talking about the mini luxury cars. Guess what's on this year's Christmas list?

The Park Place showcase was more than just a car nomenclature. The showcase raised over $141,000 for Baylor Scott & White - Irving Foundation. Craig and Laura Hopkins of Dallas took “Best of Show” in the Collectors Concours for their 1936 Mercedes-Benz 500 K Special Roadster. Boasting something for everyone, this was not your average car event for just the fellas. This family-friendly showcase is perfect for a couples date event, or a girls afternoon out. Park Place presented itself again as a well-calibrated operation and brand, and as they say, that goes the extra mile to make "Park Place feel like Your Place".

Learn more: https://www.luxurysupercarshowcase.com/.

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Photo Credit: Rhi Lee

Photo Credit: Rhi Lee

Photo Credit: Patty Blome

Photo Credit: Michael AInsworth

GOTOHPYAWETAG

"An Evening of Film" at The Black Academy of Arts and Letters on Saturday, October 19th Williamson Media Group presented Two Films, Illegal Rose & Olympic Pride, American Prejudice Coffee Bluff Pictures and Dallas-based Williamson Media Group presented two films to Dallas for an evening of film and conversation at The Black Academy of Arts and Letters on October 19, 2019. The evening included appearances by special guests such as award-winning actor and producer, Blair Underwood, and award-winning director and filmmaker, Deborah Riley Draper.

Illegal Rose starring Jasmine Guy and Luca Rodriguez-Pedraza and NAACP Image Award nominated sports documentary, Olympic Pride, American Prejudice, both commented on equality, human rights and social reform. Illegal Rose is a short film about the collision of immigration and human relationships.

The film tells the story of an unlikely friendship between Rose, a tired, disengaged, almost retired nurse who accidentally kidnaps Sylvie, a 9-year-old ICE detention center runaway, on the 4th of July. The two women change each other’s lives and perspectives. Illegal Rose explores respect, decency and kindness through two people of different generations, ages, races and legal status, as they navigate their choices and the consequences.

When asked why she chose the title, Illegal Rose, Draper commented that she wanted to humanize immigration. “We wanted to point the cursor back to us and evaluate how we look at policy, especially related to children. We are “the illegal” when we don’t give people food and water when they are held. We want to give a voice to those who don’t have a voice.”

Olympic Pride, American Prejudice, narrated by Underwood, tells the story of the 18 African Americans who defied Adolf Hitler and Jim Crow to win hearts and medals at the 1936 Summer Olympic Games in Berlin. Underwood, “This is one of the greatest documentaries for inspiration I’ve seen in a long time. Most great movies, most great stories inspire you in some way. To look at what these 18 athletes did and when they did it, going from Jim Crow America to the 1936 Nazi Olympics, that within itself is an inspiration.”

As a part of the evening, Underwood and Draper received recognition from the City of Dallas. October 19 was named Blair Underwood Day and Deborah Riley Draper Day. Kimberly Tolbert, Chief of Staff to the City Manager, presented the honor on behalf of Dallas Mayor Eric Johnson.

For more information about Deborah Riley Draper, Coffee Bluff Pictures and Illegal Rose, please visit www.deborahrileydraper.com and www.coffeebluffpictures.com.

Photo Credit: Photography by Crystal Chatmon

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CONTACT US Contact us to be a part of the premiere issue of the "Moms You Should Know" business directory.

Phone: 972-302-9150

Photo Credit: Sai De Silva

Email: info@ceomommagazine.com Website: ceomommagazine.com/moms -you-should-know

2019

Learn more about Lateisha Johnson and her financial tips and services at http://www.lateisha johnson.com/.

Top 3 Financial Essentials for a Growing Family By: Lateisha Johnson

You’ve thought about it. You’ve discussed it with your partner. You’ve weighed your options, and now you are ready to expand your family. Congratulations!

Motherhood is a beautiful thing. Whether you are having your first-born child or growing your existing family, there are so many things to do and a lot on your plate.

The daily demands of a parent are plentiful. It is easy to put vital financial aspects on hold – so beware of prolonging the following growing family essentials.

Here you will find what I call the three must haves for your child. Not only does it make the most sense to get these items right away because of financial security, these items will also allow your family to build wealth and help you save thousands of dollars over time.

Must-Have #1: Properly Protect Your Family With Life Insurance I know that the thought of life insurance doesn’t necessarily make you feel all fuzzy inside since it is often associated with death, but it is an absolute crucial conversation to have prior to your child’s birth.

Something to think about: How would your child live in the event something happened

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to you? Life insurance can replace the income lost if a parent dies.

Or God forbid if something happened to your child, how would you be able to take the time you need in order to cope? In many instances, parents who suffer from the loss of a child don’t get the adequate time to heal because they have to go back to work.

Life insurance would not only cover funeral costs, but it could also cover living expenses so that you could have extra time off work.

Two things I want to point out about life insurance: 1. In my professional opinion, Term Life Insurance is the best option for families.

Why? It is most cost-effective, no hidden fees, and it is not bundled together with another product that economically benefits the insurance company on the backend (just like whole life insurance).

2. If your child is listed as the beneficiary, funds from your life insurance policy WILL NOT go directly to your child if he or she is under the age of 18. If your child is underage, it is important that you assign someone you can trust as the beneficiary, which brings me to the next point.

Must-Have #2: A Document You Can’t Live Without – A Will A will gives instructions on how you want your assets distributed through probate. It is also the only way to specify who would be the legal guardian of your child/children should both parents die. Having a will in place is important to not only have, but to also update periodically.

Although I am not a lawyer, I do have a partnership with LegalShield. Under their legal protection program, you would get access to a lawyer for legal advice, and you would have the option to get your will prepared as a member for only $26 per month. This would save you hundreds of dollars opposed to paying for a will separately.

Must-Have #3: Educational Savings Plan With the increasing cost of private school and college, establishing an educational savings plan for your child should be put into motion sooner than later. The difference between contributing two or three years later instead of sooner could be very costly.

Be sure to refer to my CEOMOM Magazine Summer Issue article, “Back-To-School Savings Has A Whole New Meaning,” for more information on the type of savings plan that may be right for your family.

Photo Credit: Priscilla Du Preez

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