NOVEMBER 26–DECEMBER 2, 2015
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VOL. 40 NO. 47
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MADISON, WISCONSIN
Haiku for the peeps The Mad poets delivered! Our contest results
TODD HUBLER
n COVER STORY
5-7-5:
ISTHMUS.COM NOVEMBER 26–DECEMBER 2, 2015
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n September we put out a call to Isthmus readers to submit haiku about Madison. We suggested a few categories and subjects — including Gov. Scott Walker and local celebrities — that we thought would stoke the creative fires of local poets. We received about 240 submissions, not a bad haul at all. To guard against any bias, we assigned each haiku an ID number, omitting the author’s name from the judging process. A crack team of four Isthmoids pored over the submissions, first to make sure each had the correct number of syllables (haiku must follow the 5-7-5 syllable format),
The Isthmus Haiku Contest and then with a more critical eye. We picked the ones we felt were the most creative, witty and reflective of the Madison we know and love. Brenden Carpenter takes home the top prize for his haiku about one of Madison’s favorite eccentrics, Thong Cape Scooter Man. Robert Sundling and Jude Toche tie for second place with their respective haiku about one
of Madison’s least favorite persons (at least based on your haiku submissions), Scott Walker. Here they are, along with some of the others that caught our fancy. ➡
W I N N I N G HA I KU:
Thong Cape Scooter Man Not the hero we need, but the one we deserve — B R E N D E N CA R P E N T E R
NOVEMBER 26–DECEMBER 2, 2015 ISTHMUS.COM
PHILIP ASHBY ILLUSTRATIONS
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n COVER STORY
Local celebrities An engine hums and then I see him putter by — Thong Cape Scooter Man — Alais Fortier-Meyer
Thong Cape Scooter Man Proudly riding through the wind Embracing freedom — Joe Vande Slunt
Marques Bovre still singing from lonesome county Take care of my soul — Jeffrey Johannes
Charlie Shortino You are a ray of sunshine on my cloudy day
Lost in Wisconsin, few see my true soul. Only cheese understands me — Andy Howard
We like our cheese curds Almost as much as we like Denouncing Walker — Hillary Mitchell Warden
Favre’s last Packer pass a four-letter word frozen on everyone’s lips — Jeffrey Johannes
Wisconsin treasure large block of aged sharp cheddar always in my fridge
— Alais Fortier-Meyer
Robin Vos looks like an angry butternut squash that just needs a hug — Treena Lahey
Scott Walker Right eye gazes right Look, a state worker to blame Left eye does not move — Caitlin Tefft
Governor Walker spends his Kohl’s cash better than the state’s tax money — Alais Fortier-Meyer
He was a fighter But now leaves the arena Intimidated
— Liz Pelton
Winter morning treat frosting welcome as the sun kringle yumminess — Michelle McKiernan
On a morning walk The day after the big game Don’t step in vomit — Mike Rausch
From above, red ants Streaming to their grassy church. Touchdown: Camp Randall — Molly Wesling
Typing from a bar, Yes, I’ll have another one. I’m not doing sh*t — Natasha Florian
— Ellen Schneider
Eating humble pie In his Capitol office Walker returns home
ISTHMUS.COM NOVEMBER 26–DECEMBER 2, 2015
— Mary Pelzer
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Wisconsin passions
Paul Soglin
Slicing through Wingra A canoe slips silently Emitting no smoke
Rebellious in youth Time advances, mustache grays... Now curmudgeonly
— Darren Bush
Wisconsin is where when life hands us lemons, we pour a beer, instead — Deb Tetzlaff
Brandy Old Fashioned Two Walleye Filets, Coleslaw Supper Club Friday — Eric Selje
— Timothy Schwartz
When you have such an Affable mustache you can Police bench sleepers — Andrew Kachel
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SECOND PL AC E H A IKU (T IE) :
When things get too hard In college or a campaign God tells me: “Drop out” — RO B E RT S U N D L I N G
NOVEMBER 26–DECEMBER 2, 2015 ISTHMUS.COM
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n COVER STORY
Critters Japanese beetles marching through in brash armor garden Samurai — Mary Batterman
Cud chewing bovines Roam pastures of lushest green Dairy nirvana — Gail Pergande
Large, lumbering fowl Stop traffic on Monona Gobble, waddle, walk
Local landmarks Green roof, white bay doors; coxswains’ calls echoing out — under morning dark — Emily Setton
Before “Madison” Taychopera meant four lakes Effigies remain — Susan Padberg
paradox of death Jackson Oak’s lifeless limbs still draw us to her dance — Joan Halpin
Sweet Lake Mendota sunset. What more could one need? A friend with a boat — Molly Wesling
Sitting in my car Westbound Beltline super slow Late for work again — Linda Ladwig
ISTHMUS.COM NOVEMBER 26–DECEMBER 2, 2015
— Charles Mortell
Lilacs in the spring, Mosquitoes in the summer; Gotta love the Arb — Darren Bush
Cows on the Concourse Spinach spills its crinkly green Madison in spring!
— Rachel Glaza
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Cherokee, Tenney, Union Terrace, Picnic Point. Lakefront tour du jour
A swollen cattail Mendota swallows the sun frogs sing till morning — Pamela Dempsey
State Street is awesome! It should be a promenade No cars. Just people — Becca Jurek
— Darwin Tichenor
Bristling with stone warts, The Dick Outside Camp Randall Confuses us all — David Fisher
The Farmers’ Market Fresh fruit, hot spicy cheese bread Ouch! That was my heel — Jordan Martin
Bike to work happy No cars on the path, I smile Say hi to turkeys — Tara Tschillard
Mixing shade and sun Ice cream, beer, and duck droppings The Union Terrace! — Will Clifton
It’s not just a bar All roads lead to the Plaza Quick, grab us that booth! — Gina Chirichella
S ECO N D P L AC E H A I KU ( T I E ) :
God called me to lead And then lead by not leading He’s Taoist as hell — J UDE TO C H E
NOVEMBER 26–DECEMBER 2, 2015 ISTHMUS.COM
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