Women

Gratitude: The Attitude That Transforms

By Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth

In her autobiography, Frances Jane Crosby wrote, “It seemed intended by the blessed Providence of God that I should be blind all my life, and I thank Him for the dispensation.”

The doctor who destroyed her sight in her infancy never forgave himself, but there was no room in Fanny’s heart for resentment. “If I could meet him now,” she wrote, “I would say ‘Thank you, thank you’—over and over again—for making me blind.”

Crosby accepted her blindness as a gift from God with a special purpose. “I could not have written thousands of hymns,” she said, “if I had been hindered by the distractions of seeing all the interesting and beautiful objects that would have been presented to my notice.”

For over a century, the church has reaped the benefits of one woman’s thankful heart as we sing “To God Be the Glory,” “Blessed Assurance,” “All the Way My Savior Leads Me,” and countless other songs that Fanny Crosby wrote in her lifetime.

The Choice That Lies Before Us

Fanny Crosby’s example reminds me of a truth I have learned over the years. In every circumstance that comes my way, I can choose to respond in one of two ways: I can worship, or I can whine! You have the same choice before you.

When we choose the pathway of giving thanks, especially in the midst of difficult circumstances, a radiance issues forth from our lives to bless the Lord and others. On the other hand, when we give in to whining, murmuring, and complaining, we end up on a destructive slide that leads to bitterness and broken relationships.

Oh, what a price we pay for our personal and collective ingratitude! After more than two decades of ministry to hurting people, I have come to believe that a failure to give thanks is at the heart of much, if not most, of the gloom, despair, and despondency that are so pervasive even among believers today. I have also come to believe that many of the sins devastating our society can be traced to the root of unthankfulness.

Sadly, our modern culture is experiencing an epidemic of ingratitude. Like a poisonous vapor, this subtle sin is polluting our lives, our homes, our churches, and our society. But that means a grateful woman will be like fresh air in a world contaminated by bitterness and discontentment.

It all comes down to the choice we make about our attitude.

Gratitude Versus Ingratitude

Consider with me some of the contrasts between a grateful heart and an ungrateful heart. • Grateful people are humble; ungrateful people are proud.

• A thankful person is conscious of God and others; an unthankful person is self- conscious and selfcentered. • A grateful heart is a full heart; an ungrateful heart is an empty one. • People with thankful hearts are easily contented; unthankful people are subject to bitterness and discontent. • A grateful heart will be revealed and expressed by thankful words; an ungrateful heart will manifest itself in murmuring and complaining. •Thankful people are refreshing, life-giving springs; unthankful people pull others down with them into the stagnant pools of their selfish, demanding ways.

With contrasts like these, is not the better attitude plainly evident? We are called to be thankful people, to recognize and express appreciation for the benefits we have received from God and others.

See GRATITUDE on Page 11

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What Your Hubby Wishes He Knew About Being His Wife

By Mary Ann Lepine

When my husband and I were married over 30 years ago, I didn't know what I didn't know about marriage, men, or relationships. I knew that I loved Bob and that I wanted to be with him until “death do us part,” and I thought that was enough. Love and commitment are a good starting place, but there's so much more to becoming one flesh. I had no concept of what a godly marriage was like--no understanding of the sacrifices required or the pain that two people who dearly love each other can inflict. I also couldn't imagine the joy and blessing of being married to your BFF.

Over the years I've read many books about marriage and I've come to realize that I will never be the perfect wife. I will never have it all together when it comes to “wifing.” I’m still learning things about myself and about Bob . . . we change, we stumble, we grow and we move forward. But along the way, I have learned some practical, biblical principles about marriage that are timeless.

At the True Woman ’10 conference in Chattanooga, I sat on the front row in a large room with hundreds of women who had come to hear my husband speak on “What Your Husband Wishes You Knew About Being His Wife.” Ouch! He has a lot to say, and isn't shy about expressing it. His words were helpful, but very convicting for so many of the women in the room–including his wife! Not that he and I haven’t talked about many of these things before; we have. But I need to hear them again. And again. I forget what I know. I start loving me more than he . . .

One observation Bob made during his message was that a husband needs his wife’s perspective. In our marriage, Bob has sought my input and counsel on issues. He has valued my thinking. He knows that there is wisdom in talking through situations and issues together. Although we are a team, we see things differently. And that's okay.

What's not okay is for me to express my thoughts strongly, dogmatically, and definitively in a way that chafes against his leadership. If I say by my tone, “How could you think that?”, if I'm demeaning, harsh, rolling-my-eyes . . . that kind of attitude drives us apart and brings pain and isolation, rather than resolution.

I've learned (and continue to learn) that I must offer my thoughts with humility, grace, and deference. I must show respect and be kind. I don't want to shut down my husband; I don't want to demoralize him.

Bob, in his message at TW, also brought out the importance of giving grace and showing love to your husband when he sins or does something foolish. When I sin or mess up, does God give grace? Yes. Does He still love me? Yes, of course He does. And I'm thankful that His mercies are new every morning. But do I extend that same kind of grace to my husband when he fails? Or am I harsh, critical, judgmental? Am I prideful, thinking that I certainly would never do something like that? But when I, as his wife, respond in grace to his failure, he sees Christ in me, is drawn to the beauty of Christ, and longs to become more Christlike himself. That's a blessing for both of us.

Ladies, not every sin and failure need to be brought up--sometimes we need to, in love, overlook. But, if an issue must be addressed, do so with gentleness and humility. (Proverbs 19:11) says, “Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.”

One of the final issues Bob addressed in his message was the issue of . . . Intimacy. It's important. Very important. More important to our husbands than I think most of us as wives ever realize. The “coming together” of husband and wife expresses love and acceptance to her man in a way that is difficult for a woman to comprehend. Take my word for it, or better yet, ask your husband. And go over to Reviveourhearts.com to listen to my husband talk about how marital intimacy brings encouragement and affirmation to a man.

I’m grateful for God’s mercy and grace in my life as I continue in this journey with my husband. I’m still learning. And even though he cohosts a radio program about marriage and speaks to couples all over the world, he’s still learning too. And that’s a good thing for both of us. He’s a good man. And I’m a blessed woman who needs regular reminders of how I can bless him. © 2001-2021 Revive Our Hearts>

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It is the small segments in life which are most important.

Look after the little things, and the greater aggregates will be right.

Make the minutes beautiful and the hours and days will be radiant. "Well done, good servant, because you have been faithful in a very little thing" (Luke 19:17) "Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!" (Matthew 25:23)

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Listening To God

By Renee Swope

He can do only what He sees the Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son does also.

(John 5:19)

I want to be a woman who listens to God. But, sometimes I'm not sure if it's God talking or just me thinking. And if I'm really honest, when I do sense Him whispering to my heart, I'm not always crazy about what I sense He's telling me to do. Like the time I knew without a doubt God was calling me to share my testimony publicly. I pretty much ran from that assignment for a decade.

Yet, I've learned over the past twenty years that when I listen to God, I discover His best for me. And, I grow my trust in Him. I've seen again and again that His ways lead to His goodness. And when I follow Him, His mercy follows me.

At the end of my ten-year spiritual sprint away from what scared me most — sharing the story of my brokenness with others — I surrendered to what God was calling me to do. I started listening closely to Him and trusting completely in Him, so that I could experience a day-by-day abiding in His presence and promises. From there, His plans unfolded day-by-day.

Honestly, I thought I had been listening to Him all that time. But one day while I was praying about God's direction in some decisions, the Holy Spirit showed me that I had a habit of asking God what He wanted me to do and where He wanted me to invest my time. Then I went about doing that, without depending on Him for direction each step of the way.

Oftentimes, I would seek God for the larger plans in life, convinced that if I figured out what He wanted me to do then I could become the person He created me to be and fulfill the calling He had for me.

Have you ever thought: "If only God would show me what job to take; what man to marry; what church to attend, what ministry to serve in - then my life would be complete and I could trust Him with my whole heart"?

The problem is that sometimes we get a glimpse of where He wants us to go and then assume, we know how to get there. Or we get a peak at what He wants us to do and think we know how He wants us to get it done. How many times have I made that mistake and then wondered why I wasn't getting anywhere?

Over time, God has taught me that He wants my spiritual ears more than my spiritual efforts. He wants daily dependence, interaction and intimacy with me. And He is more concerned with my character than my calendar.

You know, Jesus depended on the Father for the large and fine print written in His life plan. He listened closely and obeyed quickly. In today's key verse, (John 5:19), we see His absolute dependence: "The Son can do nothing by Himself; He can do only what He sees the Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son does also."

Like Jesus, we will discover God's purpose for our lives through dependent hearts that seek to listen to His — day by day, moment by moment. Let's position our hearts, minds and souls to hear Him speak to us today.

Dear Lord, I want to become a woman who listens to You. I come to You today with a seeking heart, asking not only for direction but for discernment, humility and dependence on You -- each step of the way. In Jesus' Name, Amen.>

Proverbs 31 Ministries

GRATITUDE

Continued from Page 9

Paying Off Your Thankfulness Debt

From time to time, I find it helpful to take stock of my “gratitude accounts.” I ask myself, is there any circumstance in my life for which I have never given thanks? Is there some blessing I have received for which I have not expressed gratitude? Often, I find that I owe a debt of thanks to at least one person.

Now, how about you? Is there an individual—a family member, a friend, an acquaintance, an associate, a teacher, a pastor—who has in some way touched or benefited your life and yet to whom you have not yet paid your debt by saying, “Thank you”?

Embrace the attitude of gratitude. Make a lifetime habit of giving thanks. You’ll discover that the world looks different when you learn to see it through the eyes of thankfulness.

Making it personal

What outstanding debts do you have in your “gratitude accounts”? At the first opportunity, offer warm thanks to those in your life who have been a blessing to you.

Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth © Revive Our Hearts. Used with permission. www.ReviveOurHearts.com. BIBLE PLAGUES OIL REMEDIES

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