Men

The One Leadership Mindset That Maximizes Transformation

Men

By Chip Ingram

Can you imagine a general contractor having a team of workers at his disposal but always assuming he’d do a better job on everything that needed to be done?

His team’s skills would deteriorate, his own job would suffer, and he would burn out quickly. Nobody wins at that game. If that’s the approach, construction projects take longer, people who want to help finally leave, and the workmanship shows signs of the stress that went into it.

We can clearly see the error in thinking, and yet we often apply this false logic to our philosophy and practice of church leadership.

In the church, leaders are “to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up” (Ephesians 4:12). That’s how the team is supposed to work. The word “equip” in Greek, means “to restore,” which is the word used for fishermen mending their nets. They “restore” the mesh for usefulness.

For a church to be healthy and for transformation to occur, leaders and followers alike must have a restoring, equipping mindset.

Here are 6 lessons for church leaders and members from Paul’s leadership directive to the Ephesians that we can apply today.

1. Every believer is a minister.

Learning God’s Word isn’t just for the experts. All members are meant to know and understand the revelation He has given us. All members are to develop and hone their life skills and discover and practice their spiritual gifts. All are invited into this life restoration project in order to impart it to others. We are all equipped “for works of service” (v. 12).

2. Leadership in the church has little to do with prestige or position.

The specific purpose of these leadership gifts is to equip the saints. In other words, all believers it’s not the pastor’s job to do the ministry, but to equip the ministers!

Unfortunately, most people who have been brought up in the church have it backward, and the language of our leaders often contributes to the confusion. They talk about being “called to ministry,” which can overlook the calling of every believer to do the work of the ministry.

3. The mindset of the pastor as the minister has limited the progress of churches.

A huge percentage of churches in America—probably somewhere between 80 and 90 percent—have plateaued or are experiencing a decline in attendance. Seventy-five to one hundred people can be served spiritually by an average, energetic pastor. A high-energy pastor would be able to connect with a few more people without having a nervous breakdown. A highly motivated, obsessive-compulsive pastor, on the other hand, can work up to ninety hours a week and oversee two hundred people.

I can say that because I’ve been there, and it’s not the way to go. I felt like I had to be everything to everyone. It’s probably not surprising to learn that burnout and discouragement were lurking just around the corner.

4. Change is hard, and this shift will be difficult for some.

People new to a biblically functioning, equipping church often become frustrated because the wrong model of ministry is so deeply ingrained in them. They discover the pastor is not always available to everyone for whatever reason and backlash can follow.

I’ve received my fair share of pushback as I’ve led following the philosophy outlined in Ephesians, but I’ve been greatly encouraged by others who have embraced their roles as ministers and are experiencing joy and blessings as they minister to others.

See LEADERSHIP on Page 9

How To Get A Promotion At Work

By Ken Coleman

You’re up for a challenge, aren’t you? You’re hungry to grow. You’re longing for more responsibility, more influence, and more fulfillment in your career. You’re the kind of person who’s got their eyes on the summit of the mountain. And I dig it.

My life calling is to help you find your life calling! And chances are, the journey toward your dream job involves taking on more responsibility. So, let’s talk about how to get a promotion at work.

But I need to make something clear before we jump in: You must earn your promotion. Your leader isn’t going to hand you one just for taking up space at a desk for a few years. To demonstrate you’re ready for the next gig, you must knock it out of the park in your current position. You must know your role, accept your role, maximize your role, and develop your character along the way.

1. Know your role.

The first step of moving forward is taking radical responsibility for your job—not comparing yourself to people around you. Use these three habits to know your role:

Get crystal clear on your responsibilities.

You need to know exactly what’s expected of you in your current role. Hopefully, you’ve been given a job description with clear details of your responsibilities and expectations. Whether you have that document or not, ask your leader, “What does it look like for me to win in this role?” And then do it!

Ask for feedback.

Your leader is probably busy with their responsibilities. You don’t have to wait for your sixmonth or annual check-in to ask how you’re doing and make sure you’re on track. Asking for their opinion will develop rapport and give you valuable information to help you keep improving.

Be a good listener.

If you’re going to ask for feedback, you’d better be ready to receive it! Ask the question, then shut your mouth and listen. You’ve got to eat a big ole slice of humble pie to fully apply constructive criticism—but it’s the only way to get better.

2. Accept your role.

Accepting your role is all about developing your attitude. Are you positive? Do you bring a creative spark to everything you do? Where you are today might not be your dream role, but there’s no next if you don’t crush the now. Focus on developing an infectious attitude of gratitude by adopting these habits:

Hone your craft.

Whatever your calling—engineer, nurse, chef, developer, marketer, fill-in-the-blank—commit to being the absolute best you can be. You should know your craft backward and forward and see each day as an opportunity to practice.

Take initiative.

As you grow in your skill set, look for problems that can be solved. Offer up your solutions and ideas. If you see something, say something! It takes self-awareness to know what you bring to the table and then contribute to the success of your entire team.

Be collaborative.

Begin to branch out and make connections with your teammates and even with the broader professional community in your area. Don’t hesitate to reach out across departments and disciplines. Think of yourself as a bridge that connects people across islands. This helps lay the foundation for developing rapport with people who will help you continue to grow.

3. Maximize your role.

All right, folks, it’s time to go from wins to wows. Self-discovery is a key component of maximizing your role—knowing who you are and what you’re capable of. To earn a promotion, you must go above and beyond your current responsibilities. If you’re not overstepping boundaries, try to do the work of your next job before you get the job title.

Learn, learn, and learn some

See PROMOTION on Page 8

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Dad, How Big Is God?’

Parenting Through the Tough Questions

By Chad Ashby

The other day, our family was out for an evening stroll along our usual route. We went down the sidewalk from our home, past a few shops, across a street, and over to the local college.

On our return, we walked past the large cemetery next to our neighborhood, where a couple of men were preparing a gravesite. As we walked by, my 5-year-old son asked one of those questions parents often dread: “Dad, what are they doing?”

What should I do? Was he too young to hear the truth? I could shrug the question off — perhaps by redirecting his attention to the sunset or a passing car. But I decided that my inquisitive little guy deserved an answer.

Gospel at the Graveyard

I stopped and sat on the cemetery wall, stood him in front of me, and began my best attempt at an explanation: “Buddy, at the end of each person’s life, they die. When someone dies, they put the person’s body in a box, they dig a hole in the ground, and they put the box inside the hole.”

He responded, “Do we have clothes on when we go inside the box?”

I said, “Well, they put clothes on the person’s body when they put them in the box. . . . Did you know that Jesus died? They put his body in the ground, but three days later he came out of the ground because God raised him back to life. If we believe in Jesus, we will go to be with Jesus when we die. And one day, when Jesus comes back, our bodies will come out of those holes all brand new, and we will live with Jesus forever and never die again.”

“I hope I still get to wear my clothes. And I’m going to keep my eyes open inside that box.”

“Okay, buddy.”

Patterns of Honesty

Obviously, my son was lost on the whole dying-and-being-buried thing. But I was trying to establish an important precedent with him. When he comes to me with honest questions, I am going to give him honest answers. He may not fully understand the answer, and I may fumble through an awkward reply, but one thing is certain: I’m not going to ignore his earnest inquiries.

“When my son comes to me with honest questions, I want to give him honest answers.”

My hope is that the patterns of communication my wife and I are establishing early on with our children will continue to equip us as parents. With God’s help, each question we choose not to punt on gives us more wisdom to handle the next. If I feed my kids little falsehoods now, thinking, “They’re too young for the truth,” I’m not only hindering their growth in wisdom and stature, but also my own. They may be too young for certain details, but there’s a way to lovingly answer their specific question truthfully. If I can’t give my 5-year-old the truth, what makes me think I’ll be ready to do it when he’s fifteen?

These years — when the kids are young, and the questions are of little consequence — are practice for later. Right now, we’re learning to field basic queries like “Is Santa real?” or “How big is God?” But one day the questions might become “My best friend just told me he’s gay — what should I do?” or “Why would a good God let them die like that?” As we step up to the plate now, while they’re young, we trust that God will teach us how to handle the questions that will be more difficult to answer later.

Children will satisfy their curiosity one way or another. If we do not give them the truth, they will find it elsewhere. Establishing an early pattern of open communication will hopefully help to avoid heartache later. No parent wants to discover too late that their kids have been going online, to their peers, or to even worse places with questions they don’t trust us to answer to their satisfaction.

Moreover, it’s important that we treat our kids according to their God-given dignity. They are little people made in the image of God. They deserve the truth.

Every Conversation Captive

My son’s question, which threw me off guard at first, turned out to be a great doorway for the gospel. That evening in front of the cemetery, I could have shuffled the family along, avoided the topic, and given some vague answer like, “They’re just digging a hole.” But when your child asks you pointedly about a graveyard, is it really to his benefit to avoid the issue of death altogether?

“If I can’t give my 5-year-old the truth, what makes me think I’ll be ready to do it when he’s fifteen?”

Surely God envisioned these exact conversations when he commanded us, “You shall teach [these words] diligently to your children and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise” (Deuteronomy 6:7). At the breakfast table, on the summer walk, and from the bedtime pillow, our children probe us

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See HOW BIG IS GOD on Page 9

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PROMOTION

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more.

Improving your skill set is a lifelong endeavor. Develop daily habits that will allow you to continue to grow. Start to think strategically about the big picture of your team or department and make ideas go from good to great.

Value people.

Relationships are the most important factor of determining how quickly and effectively you move forward. Period. Dive deep with your leaders and your teammates. Practically speaking, this means being present in your organization. Don’t eat lunch in the break room alone every day. Go to lunch, grab coffee, attend fun events, and get to know your coworkers outside of work hours. Make yourself valuable by becoming an indispensable part of the community where you work.

Help your teammates win.

If you want to advance personally, commit to being a key player on your rock-star team. When you look out for the good of your teammates, you’re advancing the good of the entire organization. And as you support and encourage other key players, they’ll open doors of opportunity for you.

Set specific goals.

From planning to ask for a raise to taking on more responsibility, write out your goals clearly and put them on a timeline so you know when and how to execute them. And don’t assume your leader knows you want a promotion. Talk to them about your desire to grow and earn more responsibility. Ask them what certifications, skills, or qualities you should have to reach that destination.

4. Develop your character.

In addition to improving your hard skills (things like programming, writing or sales), you need to focus on becoming the kind of person who deserves more responsibility. We’re talking about character. Here are four specific character qualities that will help lead you to a promotion:

Be likeable.

People should smile when they cross paths with you at the coffee station or walking down the hall. Be kind. Now, this isn’t an expectation for you to be perfect, but you must do your best to bring joy to others.

Be coachable.

Two specific areas come to mind when I think about coaching:

The first is instruction. When a new opportunity, piece of technology, or policy gets put on your plate, soak it up like a sponge. Be an A+ student. Find a mentor to pour into you.

The second area is correction. Don’t get defensive when your leader notices an area that needs improvement. Choose humility and embrace the opportunity to learn.

Be reliable.

Being reliable is about building trust over a consistent period. Ask yourself questions like these:

Are you trustworthy?

Will you do a good job with more on your plate?

When your name is on a project, do your leader and teammates immediately know it’s in good hands?

Deliver on the promises you make—day in and day out.

Be honorable.

This is all about integrity. Consistently treat people the way you want to be treated and respect their

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needs and their ideas.

Spend some time reflecting on these four qualities. Ask your family and a trustworthy friend at work to give you some honest input on where you’re doing well and where you need to grow.

Grow in Your Career Every Single Day

If you follow these four steps— know your role, accept your role, maximize your role, and develop your character—then before you know it, a promotion will find you. You can’t always predict the exact moment, but when the time comes to throw your hat in the ring, you can rest assured that you’ve done the work necessary to earn your spot.

Ken Coleman is America’s Career Coach and author of the national bestselling book From Paycheck to Purpose and the #1 national bestseller The Proximity Principle. He hosts The Ken Coleman Show, a nationally syndicated, caller-driven show that helps listeners discover what they were born to do. Ken makes regular appearances on Fox News, and he cohosts The Ramsey Show, the second-largest talk show in the nation with 18 million weekly listeners. Through his speaking, broadcasting and syndicated columns, Ken gives people expert career advice, providing strategic steps to grow professionally, land their dream job, and get promoted. > KEN COLEMAN ©2022 Lampo Licensing, LLC. All rights reserved.>

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LEADERSHIP

Continued from Page 5

5. Strong leaders leave room for others to serve because they love their congregation.

Leaders are saying, “It’s not that we don’t love you. It’s that we love you so much that we’re not going to take ministry away from you. We love you so much that even though you think a pastor can do it better, we’ll let a layperson who is more gifted and more available serve you as a shepherd.”

Leaders are saying to their congregation: We love you so much that even though you think a pastor can do it better, we’ll let a layperson who is more gifted and more available serve you as a shepherd.

Leaders are saying to their congregation: We love you so much that even though you think a pastor can do it better, we’ll let a layperson who is more gifted and more available serve you as a shepherd.

Members of a congregation may wonder what they were thinking under the old church model once the change has been implemented and accepted. It’s a better, more efficient, and more satisfying way to minister and build up the church.

6. Ministering to others is directly connected to personal growth.

Growth requires both receiving and providing ministry, and the conventional but unbiblical model of church leadership hampers this process. It puts everything in the hands of the contractor and ignores the expertise of all the individuals who could contribute. The transformation won’t look quite right with that approach, and it may not even get completed.

Equipping everyone for ministry is a model that works.

I’ve served in churches with a limited number of pastors who have specific responsibilities and thousands of other “full-time” ministers who are evolving, transforming, and helping others grow and transform.

Some of these ministers are disguised as everyday insurance agents, bus drivers, carpoolers, community activists, tech industry executives, hospitality industry servers, mothers, and fathers.

They pray with kids on a soccer team, visit the sick, counsel the hurting, lead Bible studies, walk through neighborhoods praying and blessing the homes and inhabitants, worship throughout their day, and display God’s love in a variety of creative ways.

These saints are fulfilling God’s plan for the church—and being transformed in the process.

These faithful individuals are ministers of the gospel who shepherd, teach, impart wisdom, express God’s heart, and live out their gifts whenever and wherever needed. > CHIP INGRAM Copyright © Living on the Edge. All rights reserved.>

HOW BIG IS GOD

Continued from Page 7 for the truth spurred on by their own curiosity about the world around them. These are the perfect times to teach our kids about God and his gospel.

Be on the lookout. Many of our children’s toughest or most embarrassing questions can turn out to be perfect opportunities to talk about the good news of Jesus. Take those conversations captive. Sit and talk intentionally and honestly with your children. Are we going to bumble through our answers, have awkward transitions, and make absolutely no sense sometimes? Of course. But my kids are young — they won’t know any better! Maybe yours are older. They will likely still appreciate your candor, and God will help you grow over time. It’s never too late to start telling the truth.

The Truth Our Kids Need

If you have been in the habit of dodging your kids’ hard questions, you may need to ask for their forgiveness. Children become exasperated when Mom and Dad fail to be the primary truth-tellers in their lives. Paul tells us the solution is to “bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4).

As we grow in faithfulness to instruct our children in the truth, we trust the Spirit to grant us more wisdom to point them to Jesus Christ, who is the way, the truth, and the life (John 14:6). ©2022 Desiring God Foundation. Website: www.desiringGod. org. Email: mail@desiringGod. org. Toll Free: 888-346-4700 >

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