A man is sitting on an island. I am a man, sitting on an island. I am alone, completely, utterly alone. It’s quiet, to say the least. And I can do whatever I want, whenever I want. Well, up to a certain point. As I said, I’m on an island, so it’s not like I can go skiing or get a book from the library or anything. I eat anything I can find or catch. I do not need anyone. I am content. A woman is sitting on a raft in the middle of the ocean. I am a woman, sitting on a raft, drifting in the middle of the ocean. I’ve been drifting for several weeks now. It’s nice and quiet. I would have expected myself to go crazy by now, but it seems, the solitude and the constant crashing of the ocean suits me rather well. I don’t have much to eat, mostly just snack foods from my backpack, but sitting out in the sun all day, I have a great tan. I do not need anyone. I am content. A narrator, standing on a stage, in front of an audience. I am a narrator, standing on a stage, in front of an audience. I am not alone, because you are all sitting in front of me. By now, you are probably thinking the man and the woman are going to encounter each other. You’re right. I figure, why hide the plot from the audience, when, being as intelligent as you are, you’ve already guessed what’s going to happen. So, let’s just skip ahead. A man and a woman sit on an island. MAN: Well, there I was, sitting next to my fire, cooking some fish, when all of a sudden, I spotted something on the horizon. WOMAN: And I was out on the boat, and I saw a fire, and an island. I was so excited I started jumping up and down, and I tried to scream, but my throat was so dry, that nothing came out. MAN: And I started waving frantically. I don’t know why. I didn’t really care if anyone found me. WOMAN: Neither did I, except for the whole food and water thing made it kinda mandatory to hope to find someone. MAN: So, she’s getting closer, and closer. WOMAN: And I’m like trying to paddle my raft as fast as I can. MAN: And I just jump into the water and start swimming. WOMAN: And he’s like coming towards me, and I’m thinking, “Okay, everything’s going to be okay” A narrator. So they both met up in the water and brought the raft to shore. They danced and jumped around, hugging eachother and screaming. A woman, sitting in a cafe, in a town, somewhere. I guess it was fun and all, being stranded. And I had a lot of fun with him, don’t get me wrong. But it’s like, we’re the only ones on the island, but you know it’s like a man and a woman are alone on an island so something’s gonna happen between them, right? A man, sitting in a park. Yeah, we did it. I mean, not on the first day or anything. It was a few days in, and all of a sudden, the pants are off, and we’re all like rolling in the sand and everything, and she leans in and says... A woman, sitting in a cafe “I love you”, and the way he looked back at me, it was like a total affirmation. You know, it’s like when I was out there, all alone on the raft, I only had myself, and now I was like with this guy, and I really, really liked him, and it was like a confirmation of my existence. On a screen. “Only through our love and friendship, can we create the illusion for the moment we’re not alone.” ~Orson Welles A man, sitting in a park.
And she was getting all philosophical and “oh, you affirm my being” and everything, and like the first time, I was totally cool with it and like, “baby, you totally affirm my being too.” But then after a few weeks I’m like, I’ve had enough of this. Like at first, it was real cute, you know? Like when you’re first in love with someone and everything that person does is magic. Her hair, her eyes, even irritating stuff like the sound of her snoring, or the way she always jumps out of the bushes and tries to scare me. Dude, I’m a grown man, I’ve been living on a freaking island, I’m not scared. You know, at first it’s like one of those movies where the guy and the girl were totally meant for eachother. A woman, sitting on an island, next to a fire, in the embrace of a lover. It’s like fate or something, isn’t it? Like in this giant, empty ocean, we just drift into eachother’s lives. A man, sitting in a park. And after the rescue, we really drifted apart. She tried to call me once, but after months of her, and only her, I was ready for other people. A woman, sitting in a cafe. I guess he wasn’t ready for a serious relationship. Like after we got back, I tried to call him but he never answered. A narrator. Hi, me again. So, you’ve probably pieced the plot together completely now. Girl drifts onto island and meets guy. Girl and guy get it on and fall in love. Guy gets tired. They get rescued and he doesn’t call back. Same old story, right? A man, sitting in a park. I guess it was kinda funny that we ran into each other out in the middle of nowhere. It turns out we lived a few blocks from each other. I guess fate kinda has a funny way of pulling people together... and pushing them back apart A woman, in her apartment. So, I still haven’t seen him. I guess he’s probably doing okay. He lives like only a few blocks down the street. Weird, huh? A man, sitting in a park. Sometimes, at night, I just look up at the stars and then I close my eyes, and all I can see is her face. A woman, sitting in her apartment. I remember, this one time on the island, we were laying on the sand, and we were looking up at the stars. A man, sitting in a cafe. And I put my arm around her and she wiggled her body up real close to mine. A woman, in her apartment. And I put my head against his shoulder, and just closed my eyes and took this deep breath. A man, sitting in a cafe. I felt her body rise as she took this deep breath. And I just couldn’t keep from smiling. A woman, in her apartment. And we just fell asleep, the stars watching over us. A man, sitting in a cafe. And I’ll never forget that moment.
A woman, sitting in a cafe. I guess it was the loneliness that brought us together. That, and being stranded on an island. A man, sitting in a park. The loneliness split us apart. I guess I just wasn’t ready and being stuck on an island together made it seem so set in stone. I mean, like looking back, that’s easy to say. But sometimes... I really miss her. But, I guess it just wasn’t meant to be. A woman, sitting in a cafe. The filmmaker Orson Welles said, “We’re born alone, we live alone, we die alone,” A narrator, voice only in a hushed whisper, in total darkness. Hell is other people. Loneliness is the greatest poverty. Que sera sera, whatever will be will be... Our fault lies not within our stars but within ourselves. A man, sitting on an island. Our identities are so founded upon other people, upon relationships, but.. I just want to be alone. I don’t need you, I don’t really even want you. You, you know what I mean? A woman, sitting on a raft, drifting in the ocean. Life’s just so crazy, and we’re like moving all the time, and it’s nice to get away from it all and be alone, but sometimes, I miss other people. A narrator, voice in the darkness. And that’s all there is. There isn’t.. any more.